Rosi S. Phillips's Blog, page 8
February 20, 2014
Random poem
Grim Reaper, Grim Reaper can you hear my cry?
Come steal my soul, on this moonless night
Take me away to where the poppies grow
Then leave me to die in my sorrow and woe
Come steal my soul, on this moonless night
Take me away to where the poppies grow
Then leave me to die in my sorrow and woe
February 19, 2014
Book Reading
I had a great time at the book reading yesterday night at Wisdom! I loved the support and encouragement everyone gave me for the book.
To everyone who came out, thank you! And a big thanks to my mom and my uncle for hosting the event! I had an absolute blast! :D
And we are already planning our next event in small town USA, Ashtabula, Ohio and maybe somewhere in Cleveland too! I'm also working with my university to do something here and hopefully I can do a lot of events!
Thanks for the unending support!
To everyone who came out, thank you! And a big thanks to my mom and my uncle for hosting the event! I had an absolute blast! :D
And we are already planning our next event in small town USA, Ashtabula, Ohio and maybe somewhere in Cleveland too! I'm also working with my university to do something here and hopefully I can do a lot of events!
Thanks for the unending support!
February 15, 2014
First 2 and 3 star reviews
Well, I got my first 3 star review, and I'm sort of taking it in stride. I knew that AGL was going to be a story people either liked or didn't. It just was. But the reviewers did have some good points that I wanted to discuss.
1) Typos: yes, there were typos in this piece. I had a wonderful editor and I also had myself, unfortunately it was just the two of us. Just us and over 150 pages of writing to get through. We couldn't catch everything, and I'm hoping for my second book I'll have my normal editor and a final editor.
Sometime you just need a completely different set of eyes to look over the piece to catch the mistakes.
2) Confusing: I absolutely agree with the reviewer. AGL is confusing! AGL makes you think, makes you re-examine, makes you go back and re-read, re-check, and widen your scope. Everything I add in to AGL, the visions, the music, the setting... everything has a reason and is meant to make you think.
My favorite books are books that don't necessarily resolve, but spin out so you can widen your imagination, look up new things, discover things you never even thought about.
I draw A LOT of my inspiration from Karen Marie Moning, Jeanine Frost, and Christine Feehan. One thing most of these authors have in common is that they never give you even part of the picture. They give their readers puzzle pieces and say: "Here you go!" I love that, and I have tried to model that myself.
But I'm rambling again. *sigh* I do that way too much!
My other point is on the characters themselves. It seems that all the developed characters I read about have gone through SHIT! I mean that all my favorite characters have been through the ringer, and their personalities have developed through their endeavors.
At this point, Grim hasn't gone through the ringer. In comparison to Nina, Grim has been treated with kid gloves. Of course there is a reason for that. I'm not going to tell you the reason now, but let's just say book two books Grim through SHIT! If you haven't already read A Grim Love: Can't Fight Time and my short excerpt from A Grim Love: Can't Fight Fate, then I suggest you do so. You will totally get what I am talking about then.
So, I'll just part with this: I hate who Grim becomes in Can't Fight Fate. I didn't really have a choice in how I was going to write him because it was the natural progression of the story. In Can't Fight Time, Grim wasn't pushed, he didn't really have to sacrifice anything or work for anything half as hard as Nina. In this story... *blowing out a breath* I don't even know.
1) Typos: yes, there were typos in this piece. I had a wonderful editor and I also had myself, unfortunately it was just the two of us. Just us and over 150 pages of writing to get through. We couldn't catch everything, and I'm hoping for my second book I'll have my normal editor and a final editor.
Sometime you just need a completely different set of eyes to look over the piece to catch the mistakes.
2) Confusing: I absolutely agree with the reviewer. AGL is confusing! AGL makes you think, makes you re-examine, makes you go back and re-read, re-check, and widen your scope. Everything I add in to AGL, the visions, the music, the setting... everything has a reason and is meant to make you think.
My favorite books are books that don't necessarily resolve, but spin out so you can widen your imagination, look up new things, discover things you never even thought about.
I draw A LOT of my inspiration from Karen Marie Moning, Jeanine Frost, and Christine Feehan. One thing most of these authors have in common is that they never give you even part of the picture. They give their readers puzzle pieces and say: "Here you go!" I love that, and I have tried to model that myself.
But I'm rambling again. *sigh* I do that way too much!
My other point is on the characters themselves. It seems that all the developed characters I read about have gone through SHIT! I mean that all my favorite characters have been through the ringer, and their personalities have developed through their endeavors.
At this point, Grim hasn't gone through the ringer. In comparison to Nina, Grim has been treated with kid gloves. Of course there is a reason for that. I'm not going to tell you the reason now, but let's just say book two books Grim through SHIT! If you haven't already read A Grim Love: Can't Fight Time and my short excerpt from A Grim Love: Can't Fight Fate, then I suggest you do so. You will totally get what I am talking about then.
So, I'll just part with this: I hate who Grim becomes in Can't Fight Fate. I didn't really have a choice in how I was going to write him because it was the natural progression of the story. In Can't Fight Time, Grim wasn't pushed, he didn't really have to sacrifice anything or work for anything half as hard as Nina. In this story... *blowing out a breath* I don't even know.
Excerpt from Can't Fight Fate
Now, I made a promise a while back that said that I would dish out an excerpt of A Grim Love: Can't Fight Fate if over 1k people got the book free. Well, over 1, 200 people got it free, so I'm holding up my end of the bargain.
*If you haven't completely read A Grim Love Can't Fight Time, you WILL NOT UNDERSTAND what is going on here. This book picks up right where its predecessor ended, so I really advise reading A Grim Love: Can't Fight Time first!
Okay, without further ado.... A Grim Love: Can't Fight Fate
Chapter 1
Music, loud, beautiful and somewhat painful music was the first thing Grim heard when he came awake. Painful, because Grim’s eardrums had been cut sometime during the night, and as he listened to the sweet female voice floating down to him, Grim was pretty sure most--if not all--of his ear had been cut off.
Great, Felicia’s going to torture me with fucking jazz. Grim rolled his head, trying to see around the wide, dark, damp area of his cell. There was no record player in site, no Lolita bitch in black lace and frills with a knife smiling.
A shiver wracked Grim’s form as he was once again reminded that whatever drug Felicia had given him hadn’t worn off, and he was still as weak as a human. If his mother had still been alive, she would have probably scolded him, and told him to get up and behave like the king he was.
Some king, Grim scoffed as he lowered his head, that small amount of effort draining most of the strength he’d had. I couldn’t even protect my kingdom, my family, my fucking wife!
Anger burned like acid through his mind as he thought about all the people he had failed. His kingdom--the kingdom said to have the fiercest reapers in all the three kingdoms had fallen in one night to a tiny Castoff princess that looked like a pedophile's wet dream. All he had worked for, all he had sacrificed, all he had strived to hold onto was gone.
Nina’s gone; Grim bit his tongue as he thought of his wife. She was human, frail and easily breakable. Grim had no doubt that it was only a matter of time before they found her, only a matter of time before he was executed, leaving his brother--if Uriel was even still alive--to carry on as the Bloodspurn king.
He almost grinned at the irony. It felt like so long ago, when he’d seen his brother, Uriel.Longer still, when they’d had a conversation about the throne, seat of murderous kings--the ultimate prize in a very long game. A prize that Grim had never wanted, but one that he had been born to possess.
Who will carry on the name now? Who will support our people? Grim couldn’t help but worry, fixate on really.
Felicia hadn’t just destroyed a family, she’d destroyed a kingdom--ruined every mother, child, father and son who were burdened with living in the Bloodspurn kingdom. Where would they go now? There was nothing but rubble where the castle used to stand, nothing but--
The music swelled, became louder, base and trumpets moving through Grim’s body and reopening his wounds. Pain raced through him, bad than worse, pain than agony. A vicious cycle, until Grim was on the edge of consciousness, hoping he could just throw himself over, somehow die--though he knew that was impossible--and escape it all.
However, his mind refused to let him. Stubborn as only a king could be, Grim held on and listened as much as he could to the lyrics.
Night and Day….
….There's an oh such a hungry yearning burning inside of me
And its torment won't be through…
His lips cracked as he smiled, knowing the song instantly: Night and Day sung by Ella Fitzgerald. A beautiful singer with an amazing voice. Grim had almost felt pity when he’d taken her soul, wanting her to live just a bit longer and sing just one song more.
But that was the nature of humans; they lived and they died. Grim had accepted that knowledge, had used it whenever he felt just an ounce of pity for a human--he’d only slipped up once. Only once had he broken all the rules for a human.
Again, Grim’s thoughts went to his wife, Nina. Beautiful, human Nina, with her wildly curling hair, raw sugar skin, and soft curves, Grim had broken all the rules, cursed all the naysayers and married her; loved her.
“This is not the time, Grim,” a voice said over the song as Ella faded into the blare of trumpets and the beat of drums.
Grim was on alert immediately, eyes scanning the cell. It hadn’t been Felicia’s voice--her syrupy, condensing tone hard to miss--no, it had sounded old, powerful, intelligent, and male.
“Well, what else is he supposed to think about?” Another voice said with a small breezy laugh.
Definitely female, Grim thought, eyes looking into every shadow, every crevice, but he didn’t see anyone or anything. Grey stones splattered with blood. Bone, and hair were the only things he saw and all they did was make him cringe.
“We’re not there, Grim. You know we can’t go to the Underworld,” the female voice tisked.
As soon as the disembodied voice said the words, Grim knew exactly who the man and woman were, knew exactly why--even if they weren’t there--he could feel the power through their voices.
“Yin and Yang,” Grim sighed in his mind.
“Among other things,” the voices answered simultaneously, like they were one person.
And perhaps they were, Grim thought with a mental shrug as he closed his eyes and relaxed his body. No one was with him, they were just in his head, and if that was the case, then he could relax his body and try to let it heal itself. His reaper powers hadn’t really been working, but he was still healing, so at least Grim knew they hadn’t stopped altogether.
Grim tried to reach for the--he paused, not sure exactly what to call them. Yin and Yang were the human’s equivalent of gods. They were basically mad scientists who had created the universe as an accident. They were older than time itself, and most reapers said even Yin and Yang didn’t know where they came from.
For once, Grim was unsure of how to address the creatures that had in essence created the world, humanity, and reapers. Would mother and father be insulting? Grim twisted his lips, knowing that he’d never do it, even if he had thought of it.
“Yin and Yang is fine, Grim,” Yin said, her voice soft but firm. “We only allow one person to call us mother and father.”
Grim mentally nodded, but still couldn’t reach out to them. It was strange, but Yin and Yang could see into his mind but he couldn’t see into theirs. “What do you want?” Grim couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his tone.
Yin and Yang had just infiltrated his mind, just slipped in without Grim noticing and yet he was still chained to a cell wall waiting to be tortured. If the masters of the universe weren’t going to help him, then what hope did he have? Sure, they weren’t technically allowed in the reaper world because of some contract they struck with the original kings and queens of the three kingdoms, but Grim was one hundred percent sure they could have somehow helped him. They were just choosing not to.
“We all have our crosses to bear, Grim,” Yang said, his deep baritone chiding.
“A Jesus reference? Really?” Grim asked incredulously, but they ignored him.
“Perhaps it is your fate to be there, Bloodspurn king,” Yin said with an annoyed sigh. “Did you ever think about that?”
Grim tasted blood, and realized that he’d bit his tongue again. “I repeat: what is it that you want?”
The couple sighed together before Yang spoke; “Nina is alive and on her way to the reaper world. She should be here any second.”
Grim’s body lurched forward, the need to go to the woman he loved to engrained, that for a second he forgot he was powerless and chained to a wall. But the rattling of metal, and the sudden force with which his body was yanked back against the stone reminded him. No matter where Nina was, he couldn’t go to her. Not like this.
Grim growled, and cursed Felicia again. Before he died--before she killed him, Grim would cut off her black locks, wrap them around her throat, and--
“Grim!” Yin snapped at him, bringing him back from the murderous edge. He seemed to be at that edge a lot lately, his mind crafting new ways to kill the Castoff princess that kept him chained and tortured.
“Why are you telling me this? To torture me, to remind me that I fucked up?” Grim raged at them, his mind awash in pain as his body reminded him that it was still broken, battered, and bruised. I was a human body—a frail body--not his reaper form with his black cloak, ivory bones, and power--so much power.
“No, Grim,” Yang said carefully, like he was talking to a wild animal. “You are slipping away, losing yourself to the pain and madness Felicia is trying to insight in you. You are feeding into her trap. Is that what you want?"
Grim squeezed his eyes against the tears he could feel forming. He didn’t know how long he’d been in the Castoff dungeon, how long it had been since he’d seen Nina, time was an illusion here, the ticking of the clock controlled by Felicia's whips, knives, and branding irons.
“I can’t--” Grim paused, knowing that he couldn’t break down. The Bloodspurn kingdom--kingdom of the fiercest warriors, the most ruthless kings, he couldn’t betray his legacy--himself--by breaking down and giving in. He wouldn’t.
“We have a plan, Grim,” Yin said softly, her voice saying all the things she couldn’t--wouldn’t say.
They weren’t there to help him, but to inform him. And whether their plan worked or not, Grim doubted that it was a rescue mission. No, they never saw an individual, but the whole picture. Yin and Yang, mad scientist with plans of grandeur that sometimes worked out and sometimes didn’t. Maybe if their earlier plan had worked--the one where they were able to keep alive after a reaper childbirth--none of this would have happened.
But then, if none of it happened, he would have never met Nina, never fallen in love with her endless curiosity and unfailing strength, never know what is was like to want something so bad that nothing else mattered, that only she existed.
Grim would go through it all again, go through the pain and torture a thousand times over if the past remained the same, if he still got to hold Nina, make love to her, and marry her. He would do it all again.
“What’s the plan?” Grim asked, forcing his mind back to the conversation.
In his dark cell, only two things consumed his thoughts, killing Felicia and finding Nina. That was it. Women: deadly and beautiful.
“We can’t tell you,” Yin said.
“But you must trust us and continue to hold on.” Yang picked up the thread.
Grim was about to respond when he heard the tell-tale creak of hinges, or a door being pushed open. Instinctively his body crowded into the wall trying to make itself as small as possible. When the torture had begun, Grim had fought tooth and nail to keep his dignity, but it hadn’t been long before Felicia had made that impossible.
The pain he could take, it was the psychological scars she left that hurt the worst. It was her opening her mouth and words like blades cutting against his skin coming out. The words did the most harm, left the most scars.
“How much longer?” Grim asked, unable to hide the panic lacing the words.
Click clack, Felicia's black heels hitting the stone--always the same sound, same rhyme, and same infuriating shoe. Everything was always the same, always the pain--unending pain--and then it would start again. Circles.
“Grim!” Again, Yin pulled him back, brought him away from his dark thoughts that seemed to eat him alive.
“How long?” He asked again, needing an answer, needing to know there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
If they were telling him to hold on, then maybe he was getting out. If they were telling him to hold on, then maybe his hell would end.
“Time has no rhyme or reason, cannot be measured or forced." Yang responded, his voice sounded farther and farther away as Grim’s panic increased with every click clack of his torturer’s heels.
“Bullshit! I need a time frame!” He yelled back, unable to stop himself as his body jerked and twisted. Grim knew he couldn’t escape, but his body still tried, still strained against the restraints in an effort to be free.
Perhaps it was instinct, or perhaps it was that human part of him--that he’d thought had died--trying to fight, trying to survive and live. Grim almost laughed at the irony of it all. A reaper fighting to live, fighting to survive even though he had shed his mortality long ago, watched the blood and flesh peel and drip off his bones.
“Shedding,” hadn’t been a fun process, watching the skin you walked in your whole life begin to fall off was almost sickening, but was worse was the need--compulsion really--to peel the skin off yourself. But then once it was done, gleaming ivory bones and an all-encompassing black cloak replaced skin, and power replaced blood. Grim had shed a long time ago, and though he could still take the form of a human, still bleed like a human if he wanted, he was not human.
“Soon,” Yin responded, drawing him back.
The hinges on his cell door creaked open, but for once, Grim ignored them. He was acting like a human, lured by Felicia's taunting words into thinking he was one. But he wasn’t--had never been a human.
I am a Bloodspurn king, Grim reminded himself, lifting his head and forcing his eyes to lock on the petite princess who looked like a young Shirley Temple, only with black ribbon curls and heavy gothic makeup.
“Fine,” Grim responded, holding his ground and keeping his eyes locked on Felicia's cerulean blue ones.
“I’m sorry, Grim,” Yang said with a soft rejoinder from Yin before the voices in his head faded along with any trace of music.
Grim replayed the lyrics again in his head, curious that he could only now remember one line from the song. And its torment won’t be through…
“Grim,” Felicia’s syrupy voice called to him.
Grim threw his head back and laughed. He laughed because he had months of torture to endure. He laughed because for the shortest second he thought he was going to be saved by two beings that were known for being crazy, eccentric, and a bit cruel. But most especially, Grim laughed because Yin and yang had played the perfect song with the perfect line at the perfect time.
***
Time-goo--or whatever it was--clung to Nina as she was hurtled through the portal from Yin and Yang’s flower field and right into the Underworld. Much like the first time she’d traveled through the portal alone, there was a bright light followed by a stygian darkness as if she’d just watched a star go supernova in the span of half a heartbeat.
Yet, unlike the first time, the light wasn’t blinding and the darkness wasn’t all consuming. And if Nina hadn’t known better, she would have thought the portal had been welcoming her, caressing her and wrapping her in a hug like a friend might. It was as if the thing recognized her, knew who she was.
But then the moment was over and Nina was being forced out of the portal, slipping as her feet tried to gain purchase on the uneven, slick stone floor. It took another moment to orient herself, but after a second her legs stopped shaking and the floor felt steady and strong beneath her feet.
Lifting her head up, she looked around the portal room and--
“No,” her voice was barely a whisper, her eyes so wide they hurt. Neck craning this way and that, Nina tried to understand what she was seeing.
The portal was broken, shattered into glass covered goo. Stones were scattered around the small room while half of one side was completely demolished, and light was pouring through the roof.
The room had been demolished--attacked.
Nina wondered briefly how she had been able to travel through the portal if it was broken, but before she could analyze it any further, her thoughts changed again, focusing on the only person that mattered; Grim.
Forcing her legs to move, Nina ignored the trembling in her legs, and the ache right behind her temples. “Grim,” she whispered, her voice so low, she could barely hear it.
Slipping on a piece of shattered glass, Nina reached out to steady herself and felt nothing. No one accepted her hand, no one tried to help her. It was at that moment, falling to her knees amid broken glass and sharp debris that she felt alone, completely alone.
Not even when Uri had left her in the human world to await her death had she felt so alone. Maybe in the back of her mind she’d always known that she wasn’t really going to die, that she was going to get saved. Except that hadn’t happened; No, she’d felt the blade pierced her heart, heart the sound of blood splattering against her father’s shirt and the handle of his blade. Even then, staring death in the far, a single heartbeat away from an eternity without Grim, without family, she hadn’t felt alone.
What did that say then?
“Grim!” Nina picked herself up, hysteria overriding her common sense, being fed by her fear. She didn’t walk carefully out of the room, she ran like the hounds of hell were nipping at her heels, like a gnawing abyss was trying to pull her in. But before the fear could penetrate and suffocate her, her conscious was there to snap her out of it.
Stop it! Her conscious commanded as Nina took a step, and felt hot tears run down her cheek. She hated crying; crying lead to headaches and headaches to pain, and Nina had experienced even pain to last her till the end of time.
You are stronger than this! You have to be! Remember, Nina, it’s not just you anymore! You’re a queen about to be a mother! Her conscience yelled at her in a tone that broached no argument. Snap out of it!
Nina paused, halfway out the door, eyes locking on the destruction littering the hallway. She’d ran too far, and now she was lost in the maze of forever hallways lined with doors leading to rooms he probably didn’t want to go in.
The tapestries had been shredded and ripped off the wall, once brightly burning lamp cones were now jagged pieces of glass laying on the stone drenched in oil. Everything screamed danger, seemed that the castle was no longer under Bloodspurn rule.
Her conscious was right. It wasn’t just her anymore, that ship had sailed even before her father had plunged the knife in her heart. No, the minute she’d accepted Grim, agreed to marry him, agreed to be queen of his kingdom was the moment she should have stopped saying “I” and started saying “we”.
I’m a pregnant queen, calling out to my husband in a castle that looked like an army’s swept through and destroyed it! Nina berated herself knowing that she should have kept a level head. She didn’t have the option of being afraid or hysteric. Actually, she had very few options and most revolved around being quiet.
Shaking her head, Nina turned to the one emotion that had always helped her, always guided her through difficult situations, cool and calm logic. It was her best--and probably only--resource.
Think, Nina counseled herself as she swiped at her eyes and ran a calming hand over her still flat stomach.
Grim hasn’t answered--and the man could hear a freaking pin drop on the other side of his kingdom if he wanted to--which means he isn’t here, Nina nodded slowly and moved towards the wall, flattening herself against it and trying to avoid any glass embedded in the stone.
No guards either, Nina realized as she began to analyze the situation. The place was like a ghost town, and some of Nina’s insecurities and negativity began to creep back in. She could deal with the knowing--knowing what happened wasn’t the problem--but the silence, lack of activity, lack of knowledge was what scared her the most. Nina was blind and deaf on a fucking battle field that she had no clue how to navigate.
It couldn’t have been more than a few hours that they were apart, but to Nina it felt like forever. In that short time she’d been stabbed through the heart by her father--or rather she’d used him to stab herself--been poked, prodded, and tortured by Yin and Yang to be some creepy rendition of Frankenstein, and left the only man, er, reaper she’d ever loved to face her mortality.
Nina deserved a few pints of ice cream, a couple dozen mindless romantic comedies, and her husband naked and in their bed.
Too bad she wasn’t getting a single one of those things.
Nina shook her head and cleared her wayward thoughts, knowing that she needed a clear head. She didn’t know what had happened, and thinking about what she wanted was not helping her case. It would be ironic if after being killed in the human world--or whatever happened--she was killed in the reaper world. Doubt Yin and Yang could bring me back then.
Nina paused halfway down the hallway as an idea stuck. Yin and Yang! If the mad scientists gods had brought her to the Underworld she was pretty sure they could take her back to wherever she’d been with them. And maybe if she had their help she could figure out what the hell happened and hopefully get back to Grim.
Nina turned sharply, the sudden need to get back to the portal room and figure out a way to get back to Yin and Yang driving her. But before she’d even taken a step, power rushed over her--a reapers power.
It curved around her, feeling like hands gripping her body, and for a moment panic set in. Nina had seen Grim’s power choke Uri, his brother, before and Nina didn’t want anything similar to happen to her.
“Oh no, you don’t!” Nina whispered as she fought to get away from the power, finding that it was completely different from before. When she’d been human Grim’s power had locked around her like manacles, able to control her like a rag doll if he wanted, but now she could actually fight it; albeit not well, but the hold was completely different from before.
What the hell did those mad scientists do to me? Nina wondered as she fought through the power, and clawed her way down the hall.
She couldn’t have taken more than a step when she finally recognized something, Uri’s voice. “Nina!”
Whipping her head around, Nina grimaced at the crick in her neck but a grin split her face as she looked at Uri. The prince looked haggard, his usually finger tousled red locks looking matted and dirty, and he looked pale, the diamond quality of his skin--the kind that all reapers had--looked pale and white, stretched tight over stringy muscle and bone. Honestly, if Nina hadn’t lived with him for three months and become friends with the reaper, she would have thought he was a homeless college student.
“Uri,” Nina cried and felt the power around her dissipate into nothing. It was only then that she realized that it had been Uri’s power around her. Strange, but she could actually feel the power more keenly now, like she had a sensitivity to it.
Power had always been there, flowing like air through the Underworld, but Nina recognized different threads. Now that she wasn’t as panicked, she could almost feel the differences in the power floating through the air. Uri had been right, Nina acknowledged as she moved towards him. It’s like signatures in the air.
“What are you doing here?” the asked simultaneously as Uri gathered her in a bear hug, nose buried in her curls.
Nina clutched onto Uri fiercely, blinking back the tears in her eyes. Still not the time, her conscious reminded he as she gave him one last squeeze and pulled back.
“You first,” Uri said, his myrtle eyes looking tired, maybe haunted.
“Yin and Yang sent me through the portal,” Nina answered with a shake of her head. “I have no clue what the fucks going on. I’m just trying to get by.” Her voice cracked on the last word.
Pursing her lips, Nina squeezed her eyes tightly and put her demons aside. There was so much she didn’t know, so many questions that needed answers, complicated, three dimensional answers. Not. The. Time.
“We need to get out of here before they come back.” Uri whispered, his eyes darting down either side of the hallway.
Following Uri’s eyes, Nina looked down the hallway, wondering if the bad guys were going to just magically appear from her own twisted fear. The thought wasn’t so farfetched considering everything.
“Okay,” Nina stepped into his arms, feeling them close around her, lighter than they had been. “Where’s--”
“Not now,” Uri snapped, surprising Nina enough that she jerked away.
Brown eyes clashed with green as she stared him down. Uri had never been rude to her, never raised his voice or snapped at her. It made her suspicious. Again she couldn’t help but wonder if this was all some weird experiment Yin and yang had concocted or if she was somehow trapped in her own mind.
One thing that didn’t fail her was that quick anger, defensive anger. If Uri was going to be an ass, she’d rather keep walking and really find out if this was a dream or reality. Nina had been stabbed before, so what was the chance of dying twice?
“Check yourself, Uri,” Nina said carefully, narrowing her eyes.
Running a frustrated hand through his hair, Uri opened his arms again and waved them impatiently. “Sorry, okay? It’s been a difficult couple of weeks. Now come on, we really need to go.”
Nina didn’t even bat an eye at the “couple of weeks” thing. In the back of her mind, she’d known there was a high possibility that time would pass--scratch that, there was a one hundred percent possibility that time would pass. A couple of weeks weren’t as bad a couple of months, and Nina tried to look on the bright side of it all.
Slowly nodding, Nina stepped into Uri’s arms, closed her eyes, and held on tight. In no time, they were flying down the halls of the castle, past rubble that tore at her sweater and slacks. Damn! Nina thought as they whizzed by something and she heard a tear. I liked these clothes too.
It felt like a good ten minutes before the finally stopped flying, and Nina could breathe normally. Funny, but the usual sickness she felt when they flew, wasn’t there. In fact, Nina felt fine, maybe a little windblown, but fine nonetheless.
Pulling away from Uri, she noticed that he looked better too. There was some color in his face, and his eyes didn’t look as sunken as before. Not only that but she could feel his power a lot more now.
“You look better.” Nina said with a smile as she reached up and touched his face.
He looked nothing like Grim, but it was still comforting to have him with her. He was her family after all.
“It’s all thanks to you, Nina,” Uri said with a slow smile, his usual cockiness coming back.
Rolling her eyes, Nina bit her lip to keep from smiling. He would say that, Nina thought with a mental chuckle. Uri was a flirt through and through.
“Where are we?” Nina asked as she turned in a slow circle and looked out into the expanse of wide fields and gnarly trees. It was weird to think that there was “life” in the Underworld, grass and animals. Though Uri had assured her it was only the souls of plants, so many dead souls that instead of recycling them, they put them to good use.
“Remember Iris?” Uri asked as Nina spied a cottage that looked like it was a little hill. She’d seen something similar in magazines. Nina wracked her brain as she looked at the cottage with grass as the roof, seeming to blend in completely with its surroundings.
“Yeah; is that a Hobbit House?” Nina asked, the term coming to her as she looked at the small round windows and arched doorway.
Uri cast her a sidelong glance. “That--” he said as he took Nina’s hand and walked over to the cottage. “--is Iris’ home.”
Nina lagged behind as Uri dragged her, eyes looking out to the nothingness. As far as she could see, Iris’ house was deserted, miles away from anything resembling civilization.
“What are we doing here?” Nina asked as Uri tugged her toward the front door and gave two quick raps on the wood. “Is Grim inside?”
She couldn’t quite keep the hope out of her voice. If Grim was inside waiting for her, then everything would be fine. Everything would be fine.
Uri didn’t speak as he pushed open the door and hustled he inside. The cottage was small and filled with all sorts of knick knacks. Iris sat at a small round table scanning a book with a pair of reading glasses perched on the bridge of her nose.
She really does look like an eighteenth century governess, Nina though as Iris looked up and dove-gray eyes met hers.
“Nina,” the greeting was less than enthusiastic, and Nina cringed a little as Iris got up and hugged her. It wasn’t that the hug was uncomfortable, or that Iris smelled, or anything like that. It was the pity Nina felt in the caress, the sadness being pushed at her that made her uncomfortable.
Mentally she knew Grim wasn’t there. She knew there was no way Grim could keep hidden in the small cottage, his power firmly in check. Even before she’d become Yin and Yang’s experiment, Nina had felt Grim’s power keenly. It rubbed against her skin like a thousand tongue stroke, a million hands stroking her. She would never forget Grim’s power, and he would never be able to control his power if he was here. They would reach out to each other, always reaching out to each other.
“Where is Grim?” Nina asked, keeping the fear and worry out of her voice. Calm, she needed to remain calm and logical.
Nina didn’t know when she’d have a chance to deal with all the shit life had recently thrown at her, but she knew that when she finally broke, she’d shatter. There was just no way she wouldn’t. Uri stuffed his hands in his pockets. “A couple of weeks ago the castle was attacked and Felicia captured Grim. He’s being held in the Castoff dungeon’s in their castle.” Iris looked at Nina sadly, and Uri tried not to meet Nina’s gaze. It irritated he, infuriated her. They were lying. Grim was too powerful to let some child kidnap him.
"No," Nina bit off, her lips pulling back from her teeth in a snarl. There was no way that Grim was being kept in some dungeon by that Lolita bitch! Nina refused to believe it--even consider it.
Death. She'd looked in the eyes of Death and fallen in love, given up everything, overcome her greatest fears, and miraculously survived it all. There was just no way that now, after everything they'd been through, he'd be gone.
It had felt like barely an hour, barely any time in the human world and with yin and yang, there was no way so much time had already passed. It didn't take a day, or a week, or even a freaking month to take over a complete kingdom, dethrone the king and destroy the castle.
It took a long time to accomplish that, and Nina knew that--even while the flow of time was different in the underworld--there was no way everything Uri was telling her was true.
"Get. Grim. Now." Nina spoke through clenched teeth.
Uri's look was sympathetic at best, but beneath that emotion was anger and impatience. Nina could see it, and she couldn't remember a single time in all the months she'd known Uri had she seen those emotions. It made Nina wonder if she was actually in the reaper world, trapped in her own twisted mind, or being played by Yin and Yang.
Uri blew out a frustrated sigh and reached out slowly to her. "I know it's a lot to take in, Nina, but I need you to accept it, because you are now--"
Heat crawled up her arm like flames forcing their way under her skin, it didn't exactly hurt, but it wasn't a pleasant feeling either.
Nina pulled her arm away from Uri, curious as to why--after months of being surrounded by cold, goosebumps running like ants over her skin--she would feel hot when Uri touched her. It was strange, but the heartfelt... familiar in a way.
"Uri, what the hell was--" Nina's eyes went round as she stared at him, arm stretched out, mouth half open, eyes focused on her face but frozen in place. Uri looked like a statue, perfect and completely immovable.
Nina paused and looked at Uri, waiting for him to move. When he remained still, she turned to Iris, finding here the exactly same way. Slowly, Nina moved away from them and then jumped. “Boo!”
Nothing. Scrubbing a hand over her face, Nina just barely stopped herself from pulling out her hair. She had no clue what the hell was going on! Uri and Iris were frozen, but she wasn’t.
Nina turned sharply and her ankle caught on a stack of books next to her. Trying to grab the pile before it fell, Nina was taken aback when he pile moved with her ankle and then stopped. It looked like it was on the verge of tipping over, but it just wasn’t there.
Chancing a glance up at Uri and Iris, Nina looked at a frozen Iris and Uri and realization dawned on her. If she had really frozen everything than the books should have shattered, or at the very least remained in the same place and not moved an inch, but they’d moved with he.
Nina picked up on of the books by her foot and held it high above her head, than let it go. It didn’t move an inch. Nina reached up and pushed the book, and it moved an inch.
“Holy shit,” Nina said for lack of anything better.
The shit wasn’t hitting the fan, no; it was in another universe, floating around just waiting for a victim. No doubt Nina would be the victim every single time it decided to land. Or maybe she’d just stop time and let it float there.
On a hysterical laugh, Nina let some of the crazy she’d been holding at bay seep out. I died! Than I was reborn as some weird Frankenstein rip off! had two crazy self-proclaimed gods tell me I’m pregnant, and found out that the father of my child--my husband-- is being kept in some sort of reaper prison being tortured. And to top it all off, I’m now acting queen of an Underworld kingdom!
Freakin’ fantastic!
Time stopped. It literally stopped, and Nina was pretty sure she had caused it. Or course she had no clue how she'd done it, but that didn't matter right then. Time was no longer an obstacle; it was no longer something to be admired or feared. Nina was beyond time, beyond its restraints and limitations.
Nina tilted her head back, tilted her body back, opened her mouth, and let out all her frustrations, all the emotions that she had no clue how to deal with out on a scream. She screamed like demons were clawing at her throat, screamed the way she'd wanted to do when that knife had pierced her heart.
Nina screamed like the world had just ended.
And maybe it had. Time was an illusion now, maybe the world was too.
*If you haven't completely read A Grim Love Can't Fight Time, you WILL NOT UNDERSTAND what is going on here. This book picks up right where its predecessor ended, so I really advise reading A Grim Love: Can't Fight Time first!
Okay, without further ado.... A Grim Love: Can't Fight Fate
Chapter 1
Music, loud, beautiful and somewhat painful music was the first thing Grim heard when he came awake. Painful, because Grim’s eardrums had been cut sometime during the night, and as he listened to the sweet female voice floating down to him, Grim was pretty sure most--if not all--of his ear had been cut off.
Great, Felicia’s going to torture me with fucking jazz. Grim rolled his head, trying to see around the wide, dark, damp area of his cell. There was no record player in site, no Lolita bitch in black lace and frills with a knife smiling.
A shiver wracked Grim’s form as he was once again reminded that whatever drug Felicia had given him hadn’t worn off, and he was still as weak as a human. If his mother had still been alive, she would have probably scolded him, and told him to get up and behave like the king he was.
Some king, Grim scoffed as he lowered his head, that small amount of effort draining most of the strength he’d had. I couldn’t even protect my kingdom, my family, my fucking wife!
Anger burned like acid through his mind as he thought about all the people he had failed. His kingdom--the kingdom said to have the fiercest reapers in all the three kingdoms had fallen in one night to a tiny Castoff princess that looked like a pedophile's wet dream. All he had worked for, all he had sacrificed, all he had strived to hold onto was gone.
Nina’s gone; Grim bit his tongue as he thought of his wife. She was human, frail and easily breakable. Grim had no doubt that it was only a matter of time before they found her, only a matter of time before he was executed, leaving his brother--if Uriel was even still alive--to carry on as the Bloodspurn king.
He almost grinned at the irony. It felt like so long ago, when he’d seen his brother, Uriel.Longer still, when they’d had a conversation about the throne, seat of murderous kings--the ultimate prize in a very long game. A prize that Grim had never wanted, but one that he had been born to possess.
Who will carry on the name now? Who will support our people? Grim couldn’t help but worry, fixate on really.
Felicia hadn’t just destroyed a family, she’d destroyed a kingdom--ruined every mother, child, father and son who were burdened with living in the Bloodspurn kingdom. Where would they go now? There was nothing but rubble where the castle used to stand, nothing but--
The music swelled, became louder, base and trumpets moving through Grim’s body and reopening his wounds. Pain raced through him, bad than worse, pain than agony. A vicious cycle, until Grim was on the edge of consciousness, hoping he could just throw himself over, somehow die--though he knew that was impossible--and escape it all.
However, his mind refused to let him. Stubborn as only a king could be, Grim held on and listened as much as he could to the lyrics.
Night and Day….
….There's an oh such a hungry yearning burning inside of me
And its torment won't be through…
His lips cracked as he smiled, knowing the song instantly: Night and Day sung by Ella Fitzgerald. A beautiful singer with an amazing voice. Grim had almost felt pity when he’d taken her soul, wanting her to live just a bit longer and sing just one song more.
But that was the nature of humans; they lived and they died. Grim had accepted that knowledge, had used it whenever he felt just an ounce of pity for a human--he’d only slipped up once. Only once had he broken all the rules for a human.
Again, Grim’s thoughts went to his wife, Nina. Beautiful, human Nina, with her wildly curling hair, raw sugar skin, and soft curves, Grim had broken all the rules, cursed all the naysayers and married her; loved her.
“This is not the time, Grim,” a voice said over the song as Ella faded into the blare of trumpets and the beat of drums.
Grim was on alert immediately, eyes scanning the cell. It hadn’t been Felicia’s voice--her syrupy, condensing tone hard to miss--no, it had sounded old, powerful, intelligent, and male.
“Well, what else is he supposed to think about?” Another voice said with a small breezy laugh.
Definitely female, Grim thought, eyes looking into every shadow, every crevice, but he didn’t see anyone or anything. Grey stones splattered with blood. Bone, and hair were the only things he saw and all they did was make him cringe.
“We’re not there, Grim. You know we can’t go to the Underworld,” the female voice tisked.
As soon as the disembodied voice said the words, Grim knew exactly who the man and woman were, knew exactly why--even if they weren’t there--he could feel the power through their voices.
“Yin and Yang,” Grim sighed in his mind.
“Among other things,” the voices answered simultaneously, like they were one person.
And perhaps they were, Grim thought with a mental shrug as he closed his eyes and relaxed his body. No one was with him, they were just in his head, and if that was the case, then he could relax his body and try to let it heal itself. His reaper powers hadn’t really been working, but he was still healing, so at least Grim knew they hadn’t stopped altogether.
Grim tried to reach for the--he paused, not sure exactly what to call them. Yin and Yang were the human’s equivalent of gods. They were basically mad scientists who had created the universe as an accident. They were older than time itself, and most reapers said even Yin and Yang didn’t know where they came from.
For once, Grim was unsure of how to address the creatures that had in essence created the world, humanity, and reapers. Would mother and father be insulting? Grim twisted his lips, knowing that he’d never do it, even if he had thought of it.
“Yin and Yang is fine, Grim,” Yin said, her voice soft but firm. “We only allow one person to call us mother and father.”
Grim mentally nodded, but still couldn’t reach out to them. It was strange, but Yin and Yang could see into his mind but he couldn’t see into theirs. “What do you want?” Grim couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his tone.
Yin and Yang had just infiltrated his mind, just slipped in without Grim noticing and yet he was still chained to a cell wall waiting to be tortured. If the masters of the universe weren’t going to help him, then what hope did he have? Sure, they weren’t technically allowed in the reaper world because of some contract they struck with the original kings and queens of the three kingdoms, but Grim was one hundred percent sure they could have somehow helped him. They were just choosing not to.
“We all have our crosses to bear, Grim,” Yang said, his deep baritone chiding.
“A Jesus reference? Really?” Grim asked incredulously, but they ignored him.
“Perhaps it is your fate to be there, Bloodspurn king,” Yin said with an annoyed sigh. “Did you ever think about that?”
Grim tasted blood, and realized that he’d bit his tongue again. “I repeat: what is it that you want?”
The couple sighed together before Yang spoke; “Nina is alive and on her way to the reaper world. She should be here any second.”
Grim’s body lurched forward, the need to go to the woman he loved to engrained, that for a second he forgot he was powerless and chained to a wall. But the rattling of metal, and the sudden force with which his body was yanked back against the stone reminded him. No matter where Nina was, he couldn’t go to her. Not like this.
Grim growled, and cursed Felicia again. Before he died--before she killed him, Grim would cut off her black locks, wrap them around her throat, and--
“Grim!” Yin snapped at him, bringing him back from the murderous edge. He seemed to be at that edge a lot lately, his mind crafting new ways to kill the Castoff princess that kept him chained and tortured.
“Why are you telling me this? To torture me, to remind me that I fucked up?” Grim raged at them, his mind awash in pain as his body reminded him that it was still broken, battered, and bruised. I was a human body—a frail body--not his reaper form with his black cloak, ivory bones, and power--so much power.
“No, Grim,” Yang said carefully, like he was talking to a wild animal. “You are slipping away, losing yourself to the pain and madness Felicia is trying to insight in you. You are feeding into her trap. Is that what you want?"
Grim squeezed his eyes against the tears he could feel forming. He didn’t know how long he’d been in the Castoff dungeon, how long it had been since he’d seen Nina, time was an illusion here, the ticking of the clock controlled by Felicia's whips, knives, and branding irons.
“I can’t--” Grim paused, knowing that he couldn’t break down. The Bloodspurn kingdom--kingdom of the fiercest warriors, the most ruthless kings, he couldn’t betray his legacy--himself--by breaking down and giving in. He wouldn’t.
“We have a plan, Grim,” Yin said softly, her voice saying all the things she couldn’t--wouldn’t say.
They weren’t there to help him, but to inform him. And whether their plan worked or not, Grim doubted that it was a rescue mission. No, they never saw an individual, but the whole picture. Yin and Yang, mad scientist with plans of grandeur that sometimes worked out and sometimes didn’t. Maybe if their earlier plan had worked--the one where they were able to keep alive after a reaper childbirth--none of this would have happened.
But then, if none of it happened, he would have never met Nina, never fallen in love with her endless curiosity and unfailing strength, never know what is was like to want something so bad that nothing else mattered, that only she existed.
Grim would go through it all again, go through the pain and torture a thousand times over if the past remained the same, if he still got to hold Nina, make love to her, and marry her. He would do it all again.
“What’s the plan?” Grim asked, forcing his mind back to the conversation.
In his dark cell, only two things consumed his thoughts, killing Felicia and finding Nina. That was it. Women: deadly and beautiful.
“We can’t tell you,” Yin said.
“But you must trust us and continue to hold on.” Yang picked up the thread.
Grim was about to respond when he heard the tell-tale creak of hinges, or a door being pushed open. Instinctively his body crowded into the wall trying to make itself as small as possible. When the torture had begun, Grim had fought tooth and nail to keep his dignity, but it hadn’t been long before Felicia had made that impossible.
The pain he could take, it was the psychological scars she left that hurt the worst. It was her opening her mouth and words like blades cutting against his skin coming out. The words did the most harm, left the most scars.
“How much longer?” Grim asked, unable to hide the panic lacing the words.
Click clack, Felicia's black heels hitting the stone--always the same sound, same rhyme, and same infuriating shoe. Everything was always the same, always the pain--unending pain--and then it would start again. Circles.
“Grim!” Again, Yin pulled him back, brought him away from his dark thoughts that seemed to eat him alive.
“How long?” He asked again, needing an answer, needing to know there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
If they were telling him to hold on, then maybe he was getting out. If they were telling him to hold on, then maybe his hell would end.
“Time has no rhyme or reason, cannot be measured or forced." Yang responded, his voice sounded farther and farther away as Grim’s panic increased with every click clack of his torturer’s heels.
“Bullshit! I need a time frame!” He yelled back, unable to stop himself as his body jerked and twisted. Grim knew he couldn’t escape, but his body still tried, still strained against the restraints in an effort to be free.
Perhaps it was instinct, or perhaps it was that human part of him--that he’d thought had died--trying to fight, trying to survive and live. Grim almost laughed at the irony of it all. A reaper fighting to live, fighting to survive even though he had shed his mortality long ago, watched the blood and flesh peel and drip off his bones.
“Shedding,” hadn’t been a fun process, watching the skin you walked in your whole life begin to fall off was almost sickening, but was worse was the need--compulsion really--to peel the skin off yourself. But then once it was done, gleaming ivory bones and an all-encompassing black cloak replaced skin, and power replaced blood. Grim had shed a long time ago, and though he could still take the form of a human, still bleed like a human if he wanted, he was not human.
“Soon,” Yin responded, drawing him back.
The hinges on his cell door creaked open, but for once, Grim ignored them. He was acting like a human, lured by Felicia's taunting words into thinking he was one. But he wasn’t--had never been a human.
I am a Bloodspurn king, Grim reminded himself, lifting his head and forcing his eyes to lock on the petite princess who looked like a young Shirley Temple, only with black ribbon curls and heavy gothic makeup.
“Fine,” Grim responded, holding his ground and keeping his eyes locked on Felicia's cerulean blue ones.
“I’m sorry, Grim,” Yang said with a soft rejoinder from Yin before the voices in his head faded along with any trace of music.
Grim replayed the lyrics again in his head, curious that he could only now remember one line from the song. And its torment won’t be through…
“Grim,” Felicia’s syrupy voice called to him.
Grim threw his head back and laughed. He laughed because he had months of torture to endure. He laughed because for the shortest second he thought he was going to be saved by two beings that were known for being crazy, eccentric, and a bit cruel. But most especially, Grim laughed because Yin and yang had played the perfect song with the perfect line at the perfect time.
***
Time-goo--or whatever it was--clung to Nina as she was hurtled through the portal from Yin and Yang’s flower field and right into the Underworld. Much like the first time she’d traveled through the portal alone, there was a bright light followed by a stygian darkness as if she’d just watched a star go supernova in the span of half a heartbeat.
Yet, unlike the first time, the light wasn’t blinding and the darkness wasn’t all consuming. And if Nina hadn’t known better, she would have thought the portal had been welcoming her, caressing her and wrapping her in a hug like a friend might. It was as if the thing recognized her, knew who she was.
But then the moment was over and Nina was being forced out of the portal, slipping as her feet tried to gain purchase on the uneven, slick stone floor. It took another moment to orient herself, but after a second her legs stopped shaking and the floor felt steady and strong beneath her feet.
Lifting her head up, she looked around the portal room and--
“No,” her voice was barely a whisper, her eyes so wide they hurt. Neck craning this way and that, Nina tried to understand what she was seeing.
The portal was broken, shattered into glass covered goo. Stones were scattered around the small room while half of one side was completely demolished, and light was pouring through the roof.
The room had been demolished--attacked.
Nina wondered briefly how she had been able to travel through the portal if it was broken, but before she could analyze it any further, her thoughts changed again, focusing on the only person that mattered; Grim.
Forcing her legs to move, Nina ignored the trembling in her legs, and the ache right behind her temples. “Grim,” she whispered, her voice so low, she could barely hear it.
Slipping on a piece of shattered glass, Nina reached out to steady herself and felt nothing. No one accepted her hand, no one tried to help her. It was at that moment, falling to her knees amid broken glass and sharp debris that she felt alone, completely alone.
Not even when Uri had left her in the human world to await her death had she felt so alone. Maybe in the back of her mind she’d always known that she wasn’t really going to die, that she was going to get saved. Except that hadn’t happened; No, she’d felt the blade pierced her heart, heart the sound of blood splattering against her father’s shirt and the handle of his blade. Even then, staring death in the far, a single heartbeat away from an eternity without Grim, without family, she hadn’t felt alone.
What did that say then?
“Grim!” Nina picked herself up, hysteria overriding her common sense, being fed by her fear. She didn’t walk carefully out of the room, she ran like the hounds of hell were nipping at her heels, like a gnawing abyss was trying to pull her in. But before the fear could penetrate and suffocate her, her conscious was there to snap her out of it.
Stop it! Her conscious commanded as Nina took a step, and felt hot tears run down her cheek. She hated crying; crying lead to headaches and headaches to pain, and Nina had experienced even pain to last her till the end of time.
You are stronger than this! You have to be! Remember, Nina, it’s not just you anymore! You’re a queen about to be a mother! Her conscience yelled at her in a tone that broached no argument. Snap out of it!
Nina paused, halfway out the door, eyes locking on the destruction littering the hallway. She’d ran too far, and now she was lost in the maze of forever hallways lined with doors leading to rooms he probably didn’t want to go in.
The tapestries had been shredded and ripped off the wall, once brightly burning lamp cones were now jagged pieces of glass laying on the stone drenched in oil. Everything screamed danger, seemed that the castle was no longer under Bloodspurn rule.
Her conscious was right. It wasn’t just her anymore, that ship had sailed even before her father had plunged the knife in her heart. No, the minute she’d accepted Grim, agreed to marry him, agreed to be queen of his kingdom was the moment she should have stopped saying “I” and started saying “we”.
I’m a pregnant queen, calling out to my husband in a castle that looked like an army’s swept through and destroyed it! Nina berated herself knowing that she should have kept a level head. She didn’t have the option of being afraid or hysteric. Actually, she had very few options and most revolved around being quiet.
Shaking her head, Nina turned to the one emotion that had always helped her, always guided her through difficult situations, cool and calm logic. It was her best--and probably only--resource.
Think, Nina counseled herself as she swiped at her eyes and ran a calming hand over her still flat stomach.
Grim hasn’t answered--and the man could hear a freaking pin drop on the other side of his kingdom if he wanted to--which means he isn’t here, Nina nodded slowly and moved towards the wall, flattening herself against it and trying to avoid any glass embedded in the stone.
No guards either, Nina realized as she began to analyze the situation. The place was like a ghost town, and some of Nina’s insecurities and negativity began to creep back in. She could deal with the knowing--knowing what happened wasn’t the problem--but the silence, lack of activity, lack of knowledge was what scared her the most. Nina was blind and deaf on a fucking battle field that she had no clue how to navigate.
It couldn’t have been more than a few hours that they were apart, but to Nina it felt like forever. In that short time she’d been stabbed through the heart by her father--or rather she’d used him to stab herself--been poked, prodded, and tortured by Yin and Yang to be some creepy rendition of Frankenstein, and left the only man, er, reaper she’d ever loved to face her mortality.
Nina deserved a few pints of ice cream, a couple dozen mindless romantic comedies, and her husband naked and in their bed.
Too bad she wasn’t getting a single one of those things.
Nina shook her head and cleared her wayward thoughts, knowing that she needed a clear head. She didn’t know what had happened, and thinking about what she wanted was not helping her case. It would be ironic if after being killed in the human world--or whatever happened--she was killed in the reaper world. Doubt Yin and Yang could bring me back then.
Nina paused halfway down the hallway as an idea stuck. Yin and Yang! If the mad scientists gods had brought her to the Underworld she was pretty sure they could take her back to wherever she’d been with them. And maybe if she had their help she could figure out what the hell happened and hopefully get back to Grim.
Nina turned sharply, the sudden need to get back to the portal room and figure out a way to get back to Yin and Yang driving her. But before she’d even taken a step, power rushed over her--a reapers power.
It curved around her, feeling like hands gripping her body, and for a moment panic set in. Nina had seen Grim’s power choke Uri, his brother, before and Nina didn’t want anything similar to happen to her.
“Oh no, you don’t!” Nina whispered as she fought to get away from the power, finding that it was completely different from before. When she’d been human Grim’s power had locked around her like manacles, able to control her like a rag doll if he wanted, but now she could actually fight it; albeit not well, but the hold was completely different from before.
What the hell did those mad scientists do to me? Nina wondered as she fought through the power, and clawed her way down the hall.
She couldn’t have taken more than a step when she finally recognized something, Uri’s voice. “Nina!”
Whipping her head around, Nina grimaced at the crick in her neck but a grin split her face as she looked at Uri. The prince looked haggard, his usually finger tousled red locks looking matted and dirty, and he looked pale, the diamond quality of his skin--the kind that all reapers had--looked pale and white, stretched tight over stringy muscle and bone. Honestly, if Nina hadn’t lived with him for three months and become friends with the reaper, she would have thought he was a homeless college student.
“Uri,” Nina cried and felt the power around her dissipate into nothing. It was only then that she realized that it had been Uri’s power around her. Strange, but she could actually feel the power more keenly now, like she had a sensitivity to it.
Power had always been there, flowing like air through the Underworld, but Nina recognized different threads. Now that she wasn’t as panicked, she could almost feel the differences in the power floating through the air. Uri had been right, Nina acknowledged as she moved towards him. It’s like signatures in the air.
“What are you doing here?” the asked simultaneously as Uri gathered her in a bear hug, nose buried in her curls.
Nina clutched onto Uri fiercely, blinking back the tears in her eyes. Still not the time, her conscious reminded he as she gave him one last squeeze and pulled back.
“You first,” Uri said, his myrtle eyes looking tired, maybe haunted.
“Yin and Yang sent me through the portal,” Nina answered with a shake of her head. “I have no clue what the fucks going on. I’m just trying to get by.” Her voice cracked on the last word.
Pursing her lips, Nina squeezed her eyes tightly and put her demons aside. There was so much she didn’t know, so many questions that needed answers, complicated, three dimensional answers. Not. The. Time.
“We need to get out of here before they come back.” Uri whispered, his eyes darting down either side of the hallway.
Following Uri’s eyes, Nina looked down the hallway, wondering if the bad guys were going to just magically appear from her own twisted fear. The thought wasn’t so farfetched considering everything.
“Okay,” Nina stepped into his arms, feeling them close around her, lighter than they had been. “Where’s--”
“Not now,” Uri snapped, surprising Nina enough that she jerked away.
Brown eyes clashed with green as she stared him down. Uri had never been rude to her, never raised his voice or snapped at her. It made her suspicious. Again she couldn’t help but wonder if this was all some weird experiment Yin and yang had concocted or if she was somehow trapped in her own mind.
One thing that didn’t fail her was that quick anger, defensive anger. If Uri was going to be an ass, she’d rather keep walking and really find out if this was a dream or reality. Nina had been stabbed before, so what was the chance of dying twice?
“Check yourself, Uri,” Nina said carefully, narrowing her eyes.
Running a frustrated hand through his hair, Uri opened his arms again and waved them impatiently. “Sorry, okay? It’s been a difficult couple of weeks. Now come on, we really need to go.”
Nina didn’t even bat an eye at the “couple of weeks” thing. In the back of her mind, she’d known there was a high possibility that time would pass--scratch that, there was a one hundred percent possibility that time would pass. A couple of weeks weren’t as bad a couple of months, and Nina tried to look on the bright side of it all.
Slowly nodding, Nina stepped into Uri’s arms, closed her eyes, and held on tight. In no time, they were flying down the halls of the castle, past rubble that tore at her sweater and slacks. Damn! Nina thought as they whizzed by something and she heard a tear. I liked these clothes too.
It felt like a good ten minutes before the finally stopped flying, and Nina could breathe normally. Funny, but the usual sickness she felt when they flew, wasn’t there. In fact, Nina felt fine, maybe a little windblown, but fine nonetheless.
Pulling away from Uri, she noticed that he looked better too. There was some color in his face, and his eyes didn’t look as sunken as before. Not only that but she could feel his power a lot more now.
“You look better.” Nina said with a smile as she reached up and touched his face.
He looked nothing like Grim, but it was still comforting to have him with her. He was her family after all.
“It’s all thanks to you, Nina,” Uri said with a slow smile, his usual cockiness coming back.
Rolling her eyes, Nina bit her lip to keep from smiling. He would say that, Nina thought with a mental chuckle. Uri was a flirt through and through.
“Where are we?” Nina asked as she turned in a slow circle and looked out into the expanse of wide fields and gnarly trees. It was weird to think that there was “life” in the Underworld, grass and animals. Though Uri had assured her it was only the souls of plants, so many dead souls that instead of recycling them, they put them to good use.
“Remember Iris?” Uri asked as Nina spied a cottage that looked like it was a little hill. She’d seen something similar in magazines. Nina wracked her brain as she looked at the cottage with grass as the roof, seeming to blend in completely with its surroundings.
“Yeah; is that a Hobbit House?” Nina asked, the term coming to her as she looked at the small round windows and arched doorway.
Uri cast her a sidelong glance. “That--” he said as he took Nina’s hand and walked over to the cottage. “--is Iris’ home.”
Nina lagged behind as Uri dragged her, eyes looking out to the nothingness. As far as she could see, Iris’ house was deserted, miles away from anything resembling civilization.
“What are we doing here?” Nina asked as Uri tugged her toward the front door and gave two quick raps on the wood. “Is Grim inside?”
She couldn’t quite keep the hope out of her voice. If Grim was inside waiting for her, then everything would be fine. Everything would be fine.
Uri didn’t speak as he pushed open the door and hustled he inside. The cottage was small and filled with all sorts of knick knacks. Iris sat at a small round table scanning a book with a pair of reading glasses perched on the bridge of her nose.
She really does look like an eighteenth century governess, Nina though as Iris looked up and dove-gray eyes met hers.
“Nina,” the greeting was less than enthusiastic, and Nina cringed a little as Iris got up and hugged her. It wasn’t that the hug was uncomfortable, or that Iris smelled, or anything like that. It was the pity Nina felt in the caress, the sadness being pushed at her that made her uncomfortable.
Mentally she knew Grim wasn’t there. She knew there was no way Grim could keep hidden in the small cottage, his power firmly in check. Even before she’d become Yin and Yang’s experiment, Nina had felt Grim’s power keenly. It rubbed against her skin like a thousand tongue stroke, a million hands stroking her. She would never forget Grim’s power, and he would never be able to control his power if he was here. They would reach out to each other, always reaching out to each other.
“Where is Grim?” Nina asked, keeping the fear and worry out of her voice. Calm, she needed to remain calm and logical.
Nina didn’t know when she’d have a chance to deal with all the shit life had recently thrown at her, but she knew that when she finally broke, she’d shatter. There was just no way she wouldn’t. Uri stuffed his hands in his pockets. “A couple of weeks ago the castle was attacked and Felicia captured Grim. He’s being held in the Castoff dungeon’s in their castle.” Iris looked at Nina sadly, and Uri tried not to meet Nina’s gaze. It irritated he, infuriated her. They were lying. Grim was too powerful to let some child kidnap him.
"No," Nina bit off, her lips pulling back from her teeth in a snarl. There was no way that Grim was being kept in some dungeon by that Lolita bitch! Nina refused to believe it--even consider it.
Death. She'd looked in the eyes of Death and fallen in love, given up everything, overcome her greatest fears, and miraculously survived it all. There was just no way that now, after everything they'd been through, he'd be gone.
It had felt like barely an hour, barely any time in the human world and with yin and yang, there was no way so much time had already passed. It didn't take a day, or a week, or even a freaking month to take over a complete kingdom, dethrone the king and destroy the castle.
It took a long time to accomplish that, and Nina knew that--even while the flow of time was different in the underworld--there was no way everything Uri was telling her was true.
"Get. Grim. Now." Nina spoke through clenched teeth.
Uri's look was sympathetic at best, but beneath that emotion was anger and impatience. Nina could see it, and she couldn't remember a single time in all the months she'd known Uri had she seen those emotions. It made Nina wonder if she was actually in the reaper world, trapped in her own twisted mind, or being played by Yin and Yang.
Uri blew out a frustrated sigh and reached out slowly to her. "I know it's a lot to take in, Nina, but I need you to accept it, because you are now--"
Heat crawled up her arm like flames forcing their way under her skin, it didn't exactly hurt, but it wasn't a pleasant feeling either.
Nina pulled her arm away from Uri, curious as to why--after months of being surrounded by cold, goosebumps running like ants over her skin--she would feel hot when Uri touched her. It was strange, but the heartfelt... familiar in a way.
"Uri, what the hell was--" Nina's eyes went round as she stared at him, arm stretched out, mouth half open, eyes focused on her face but frozen in place. Uri looked like a statue, perfect and completely immovable.
Nina paused and looked at Uri, waiting for him to move. When he remained still, she turned to Iris, finding here the exactly same way. Slowly, Nina moved away from them and then jumped. “Boo!”
Nothing. Scrubbing a hand over her face, Nina just barely stopped herself from pulling out her hair. She had no clue what the hell was going on! Uri and Iris were frozen, but she wasn’t.
Nina turned sharply and her ankle caught on a stack of books next to her. Trying to grab the pile before it fell, Nina was taken aback when he pile moved with her ankle and then stopped. It looked like it was on the verge of tipping over, but it just wasn’t there.
Chancing a glance up at Uri and Iris, Nina looked at a frozen Iris and Uri and realization dawned on her. If she had really frozen everything than the books should have shattered, or at the very least remained in the same place and not moved an inch, but they’d moved with he.
Nina picked up on of the books by her foot and held it high above her head, than let it go. It didn’t move an inch. Nina reached up and pushed the book, and it moved an inch.
“Holy shit,” Nina said for lack of anything better.
The shit wasn’t hitting the fan, no; it was in another universe, floating around just waiting for a victim. No doubt Nina would be the victim every single time it decided to land. Or maybe she’d just stop time and let it float there.
On a hysterical laugh, Nina let some of the crazy she’d been holding at bay seep out. I died! Than I was reborn as some weird Frankenstein rip off! had two crazy self-proclaimed gods tell me I’m pregnant, and found out that the father of my child--my husband-- is being kept in some sort of reaper prison being tortured. And to top it all off, I’m now acting queen of an Underworld kingdom!
Freakin’ fantastic!
Time stopped. It literally stopped, and Nina was pretty sure she had caused it. Or course she had no clue how she'd done it, but that didn't matter right then. Time was no longer an obstacle; it was no longer something to be admired or feared. Nina was beyond time, beyond its restraints and limitations.
Nina tilted her head back, tilted her body back, opened her mouth, and let out all her frustrations, all the emotions that she had no clue how to deal with out on a scream. She screamed like demons were clawing at her throat, screamed the way she'd wanted to do when that knife had pierced her heart.
Nina screamed like the world had just ended.
And maybe it had. Time was an illusion now, maybe the world was too.
February 14, 2014
Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!!
In honor of this special day, A Grim Love: Can't Fight Time is free! If you weren't able to get it last time, or you want one of your friends or family members to get it, today is the day! Also, don't forget to review A Grim Love:Can't Fight Time on Goodreads and Amazon!
Have a happy Valentine's Day!
Have a happy Valentine's Day!
February 10, 2014
Writers
So, I was asked by a writer on twitter--I've just started following people and stuff--to review her book. We short of struck up on conversation and the topic came up. I think I mentioned that I'm an avid reader, right? Well, I'm pretty much game to review anything, so I agreed.
Wait, not anything! I mean like romance, horror, mystery, suspense, paranormal, stuff like that--nothing super inappropriate i.e. reluctance, rape, or whatever.
But yeah, if anyone wants to suggest a book I should read or wants to shoot me a copy of their stories, I would be happy to read them. Saturday's are my fake days--basically when I say I'm going to do work and write stories or read instead--so I can usually read it then.
Just thought I'd put the offer up. I'm not guaranteeing anything, but I like books. So... *shrug* Send it on over! :)
Wait, not anything! I mean like romance, horror, mystery, suspense, paranormal, stuff like that--nothing super inappropriate i.e. reluctance, rape, or whatever.
But yeah, if anyone wants to suggest a book I should read or wants to shoot me a copy of their stories, I would be happy to read them. Saturday's are my fake days--basically when I say I'm going to do work and write stories or read instead--so I can usually read it then.
Just thought I'd put the offer up. I'm not guaranteeing anything, but I like books. So... *shrug* Send it on over! :)
February 9, 2014
Research, steps for writing, and my usual ramblings
I've been asked a couple of times if I do research for my stories, and I always answer with a resounding "Hell yes!"
Right now I'm taking a fiction writing class at my university. I absolutely love my class--except that I have to get up at an ungodly hour to go to it--and I feel like I'm learning a lot from the class. I'm really only taking the class to work on my craft, because I like writing and I want to improve myself.
I'm saying this because I have to read my classmates stories--one's that they have written and I have to review and analyze--and as I do this, I can't help but think of all the steps I now take before I begin seriously writing my stories.
Let me break it down for you:
Step one: Come up with a solid idea i.e. Reapers.
Step two: What genre am I going to write in? Do I want to write a romance? Horror? Mystery?
Step three: Who are my characters? I write a brief description of my main characters(the first thing I wrote for Nina was: Nina is a struggle college student. I was basically just talking about myself lol).
Step four: Research, research, research. I want to write about reapers, so I have to research reapers. Wikipedia is a great start, but I tend to go in depth, look at history, names, etc.
Step five: Outline my story. How long is it going to be? What is my setting? What is the theme of every chapter/book? *My outline for Can't Fight Time was around 20 pages printed out.
Step six: Go back and make sure this is really what I want to do. Do I really want to commit my time and energy to this project? This is a huge step because I have about... oh... I'd say like ten projects just sitting on my computer right now.
Step seven: Start writing. Now I'm weird, because I don't write chapter by chapter. If I want to really write a scene, but it's in chapter 12 and I'm on chapter 2, I'll stop and start on chapter 12. I jump around a lot because my writing depends on my imagination and my mood. Sometimes I see scenes so clearly its like I'm right there with my characters, and other times I'm slogging along trying to write a scene.
Step eight: Send it off to my editor. I love my editor, he's fantastic! I seriously couldn't have done AGL without him.
Step nine: Go back through. At this point, it's been a couple of days since I've seen whatever I sent my editor and I've let the story sit. Letting my stories sit for a little while is really important, because when I go back through I can have fresh eyes.
Step ten: Add and take away. This is when I add what needs to be added to make the story coherent, and take away whatever I don't need.
Step eleven: Let the finished project sit for a little while. Depending on the length, I let it sit for 2-5 days. Once this is done, I take a fine tooth comb and go through everything. I read out loud and have my computer read to me to catch mistakes.
Step twelve: send it off and hope for the best.
Researching, outlining, developing characters and their environments, and letting the story sit for a little while are all corner stones of my process. I've written around thirteen or eighteen (I always forget) stories, and it's taken me a long time to develop this process, but it's a process that really works for me.
A good story--a good chapter really--takes time, dedication, and great people to really work. I've been lucky enough to have a publisher who believes in me, an editor who has encouraged me, and a mother who promotes me and showers me with love. The people you surround yourself with really do help the writing process, and I'm so happy to say that I have a great group around me.
Right now I'm taking a fiction writing class at my university. I absolutely love my class--except that I have to get up at an ungodly hour to go to it--and I feel like I'm learning a lot from the class. I'm really only taking the class to work on my craft, because I like writing and I want to improve myself.
I'm saying this because I have to read my classmates stories--one's that they have written and I have to review and analyze--and as I do this, I can't help but think of all the steps I now take before I begin seriously writing my stories.
Let me break it down for you:
Step one: Come up with a solid idea i.e. Reapers.
Step two: What genre am I going to write in? Do I want to write a romance? Horror? Mystery?
Step three: Who are my characters? I write a brief description of my main characters(the first thing I wrote for Nina was: Nina is a struggle college student. I was basically just talking about myself lol).
Step four: Research, research, research. I want to write about reapers, so I have to research reapers. Wikipedia is a great start, but I tend to go in depth, look at history, names, etc.
Step five: Outline my story. How long is it going to be? What is my setting? What is the theme of every chapter/book? *My outline for Can't Fight Time was around 20 pages printed out.
Step six: Go back and make sure this is really what I want to do. Do I really want to commit my time and energy to this project? This is a huge step because I have about... oh... I'd say like ten projects just sitting on my computer right now.
Step seven: Start writing. Now I'm weird, because I don't write chapter by chapter. If I want to really write a scene, but it's in chapter 12 and I'm on chapter 2, I'll stop and start on chapter 12. I jump around a lot because my writing depends on my imagination and my mood. Sometimes I see scenes so clearly its like I'm right there with my characters, and other times I'm slogging along trying to write a scene.
Step eight: Send it off to my editor. I love my editor, he's fantastic! I seriously couldn't have done AGL without him.
Step nine: Go back through. At this point, it's been a couple of days since I've seen whatever I sent my editor and I've let the story sit. Letting my stories sit for a little while is really important, because when I go back through I can have fresh eyes.
Step ten: Add and take away. This is when I add what needs to be added to make the story coherent, and take away whatever I don't need.
Step eleven: Let the finished project sit for a little while. Depending on the length, I let it sit for 2-5 days. Once this is done, I take a fine tooth comb and go through everything. I read out loud and have my computer read to me to catch mistakes.
Step twelve: send it off and hope for the best.
Researching, outlining, developing characters and their environments, and letting the story sit for a little while are all corner stones of my process. I've written around thirteen or eighteen (I always forget) stories, and it's taken me a long time to develop this process, but it's a process that really works for me.
A good story--a good chapter really--takes time, dedication, and great people to really work. I've been lucky enough to have a publisher who believes in me, an editor who has encouraged me, and a mother who promotes me and showers me with love. The people you surround yourself with really do help the writing process, and I'm so happy to say that I have a great group around me.
Writing Music and Stares on Campus
The reason I'm writing this entry is because music really is my inspiration for a lot of the creative things I do. I like learning languages usually because of the culture, and in particular, the music. Music also helps me think of new henna designs and allows me to relax when I'm writing or relaxing.
I decided to post a couple of my go to songs that are on my playlists. So, here's what I probably listened to when I wrote A Grim Love: Can't Fight Time.
Playlist:
Calm the Blank Down: Bones--Ms Mr, Paradise Circus--Massive Attack, Naive--The Kooks, Your Bones--Of Monsters And Men, Sex and Candy--Marcy's Playground, and a lot more.
It's a Sexy Country: Black Velvet--Alannah Myles, Come to My Window--Melissa Etheridge, Bad Things--Jave Everett, and a lot more.
Only My Sex Can Get You Off: Locked Out of Heaven--Bruno Mars, I Invented Sex--Trey Songz, Need You Tonight--INXS, Spanish Sahara--Faol, Go!--Common, Lotus Flower Bomb--Wale, She Wants to Move--N.E.R.D, and a lot more.
I will let you know that the bolded parts are actual names of my playlist. My mom finds them hilarious, and my friends are super confused. I think it's fun to have interesting playlist names, and I love telling Siri to "play playlist only my sex can get you off". If I'm walking on campus saying this, people actually turn their heads and stare at me like I'm crazy.
*Shrug* Maybe I am. I think you have to be a little... eccentric to be a writer anyway. ;)
I decided to post a couple of my go to songs that are on my playlists. So, here's what I probably listened to when I wrote A Grim Love: Can't Fight Time.
Playlist:
Calm the Blank Down: Bones--Ms Mr, Paradise Circus--Massive Attack, Naive--The Kooks, Your Bones--Of Monsters And Men, Sex and Candy--Marcy's Playground, and a lot more.
It's a Sexy Country: Black Velvet--Alannah Myles, Come to My Window--Melissa Etheridge, Bad Things--Jave Everett, and a lot more.
Only My Sex Can Get You Off: Locked Out of Heaven--Bruno Mars, I Invented Sex--Trey Songz, Need You Tonight--INXS, Spanish Sahara--Faol, Go!--Common, Lotus Flower Bomb--Wale, She Wants to Move--N.E.R.D, and a lot more.
I will let you know that the bolded parts are actual names of my playlist. My mom finds them hilarious, and my friends are super confused. I think it's fun to have interesting playlist names, and I love telling Siri to "play playlist only my sex can get you off". If I'm walking on campus saying this, people actually turn their heads and stare at me like I'm crazy.
*Shrug* Maybe I am. I think you have to be a little... eccentric to be a writer anyway. ;)
February 7, 2014
TODAY'S THE FREE DAY
Don't forget, today is the day when you can get a FREE copy of A Grim Love: Can't Fight Time on Amazon! Tell everyone you know! Then review the book on amazon! Yup, I check reviews and they help me fine tune my writing. Get a Free copy of AGL! http://www.amazon.com/Grim-Love-Shift...
February 6, 2014
Share with Everyone!
Hey Everyone!
I can't wait for tomorrow! A Grim Love: Can't Fight Time is going to be FREE, and I'm hoping everyone will hurry and download it!
To go along with that, if everyone could share the book, send it to family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, everyone! As an incentive, if we can get over 1k people to down load I will post an excerpt from A Grim Love: Can't Fight Fate.
I write quickly, and it's already outlined and everything! I think I've said this before, but while many consider A Grim Love: Can't Fight Time to be a short read--even though it felt like it took me forever to write lol--it's still a crucial part of the whole story.
I can honestly say that all the knots I've tied my characters into, all the cliff hangers I've left, all the burning questions running through your mind will only be answered in the second book. And boy is it going to be long! I get exhausted/excited just looking at the outline! :D
But it's a labour of love.
Anyway, share, share, SHARE! This story is my pride and joy, something that i knew was going to be complicated and really push me when I thought of it. I knew that Grim and Nina wouldn't just be like any of my other characters--well maybe Mira--and that the journey they were about to take me on was not going to be a particularly fun one, but I chose that journey.
I think I kind of lied when I said that I don't dream up my stories. I do dream--day dream that is. Most of my characters from the shadows of my mind, only allowed to breathe in the light of day when I'm in a stuffy classroom or doing yet another Persian assignment I'm completely sucking at.
Wow! I really do love going on tangents. Okay, back on topic. Please just share the story as much as you can on tomorrow (Friday).
Thanks for the support!
I can't wait for tomorrow! A Grim Love: Can't Fight Time is going to be FREE, and I'm hoping everyone will hurry and download it!
To go along with that, if everyone could share the book, send it to family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, everyone! As an incentive, if we can get over 1k people to down load I will post an excerpt from A Grim Love: Can't Fight Fate.
I write quickly, and it's already outlined and everything! I think I've said this before, but while many consider A Grim Love: Can't Fight Time to be a short read--even though it felt like it took me forever to write lol--it's still a crucial part of the whole story.
I can honestly say that all the knots I've tied my characters into, all the cliff hangers I've left, all the burning questions running through your mind will only be answered in the second book. And boy is it going to be long! I get exhausted/excited just looking at the outline! :D
But it's a labour of love.
Anyway, share, share, SHARE! This story is my pride and joy, something that i knew was going to be complicated and really push me when I thought of it. I knew that Grim and Nina wouldn't just be like any of my other characters--well maybe Mira--and that the journey they were about to take me on was not going to be a particularly fun one, but I chose that journey.
I think I kind of lied when I said that I don't dream up my stories. I do dream--day dream that is. Most of my characters from the shadows of my mind, only allowed to breathe in the light of day when I'm in a stuffy classroom or doing yet another Persian assignment I'm completely sucking at.
Wow! I really do love going on tangents. Okay, back on topic. Please just share the story as much as you can on tomorrow (Friday).
Thanks for the support!
