Mike Crowl's Blog, page 7

Confession

 Confession

 

First published in Column 8 on the 11thFebruary 1994

 

I confess! I’m conservative, dogmatic and opinionated. I’mmiddle-aged, illiberal (un-liberal?, non-liberal?), andsemi-quasi-fundamentalist. I’m a closet reactionary redneck and almost anelderly old guard. I’m pig-and-bull-headed, cocksure, mulish and hard-nosed.

Worse, I don’t even know if I’m culturally safe – I don’teven know whether that means I’m supposed to be safe from some culture or keepit safe from me.

PC propa...

A short course in Maori

 A short course in Maori

First published in Column 8 probably in 1996, as 1995 was Maori Language Year. This was written before macrons came into general use in newspapers, and also at a time when what was said wouldn't have caused any controversy. 

I managed to miss Maori Language Year almostcompletely - along with many other NZers, I suspect. However, better late thannever is still a useful motto, and so when I came across an article about thenew Dictionary of Contemporary Maori, Te Matatik...

The Taxman Cometh Monthly

 The Taxman Cometh Monthly

First Published in Column 8 on the 3rd July 1997

It is in the natureof things that columnists must write one out of four columns for the taxman.Every four weeks this leaves the columnist with the agonizing choice: whichcolumn belongs to the taxman, the good, the bad, or the ugly? (I mean the good,bad and ugly columns, of course.)

 

It also means thatthe columnist has an obvious problem: if he writes a column intended merely tosate the surfeited coffers of the Infer...

Snow and So

 Snow and So

 

First published in Column 8 on the 20th June1995 - this is a typical example of a hobby horse of mine. I’ve written about iton a number of occasions in a variety of places, public and private. For someinfo on references in the column, see below the article.

 

By the time you read this we may have snow on the ground, ormay have had it on the ground, or may still be expecting it…on the ground. Thenagain, none of the above may apply.

I’ve always held the theory that we only hav...

Pettifogging Fisticuffs

Pettifogging Fisticuffs

First published in Column 8 on the 26th Oct, 1994

Remember the saying ‘real men don’t eatquiche?’ It inferred that real men were too tough to get into food that meltedin your mouth. In other words, nomales eating fluffy-food needed to apply for the ‘real man’ brigade.

I think the saying should now be amended to‘real men don’t play rugby.’ Perhapsthat broad statement needs a little qualification. A few real men play rugby, but they’re gettingharder and harder to ...

Gallery

 Gallery

 

First published in Column 8 on the 24th May1995

A friend brought up the old argument recently that we shouldbe spending money on improving Dunedin’s water, or the sewage system, ratherthan on building an art gallery in the middle of the city.

I’ve always been citified, and my bent in life is not apractical one, so perhaps I expect sewage and water to be there. To methey’re things we find in a city, come what may.

They should never be used, however, as an argument againstno...

Music Teachers

Music Teachers

 

First published in Column 8 on the 6thNovember 1991

 

A group of heroes work in our city whose conditions wouldmake most wharfies pale. I’m talking about music teachers.

 

(And I speak from experience – for a few years I taughtpiano from three till whenever, after spending a frenetic morning as a postie.I must have been mad.)

 

Utter dedication is required of anyone who decides to takeon this job as a permanent career. (I didn’t.) The frustrations from pupils whodon’t wor...

Generation X

 Generation X 

First published in Column 8 on the 21st June1995

(This may now seem a little out of date in terms of its subject matter; it's worth reading still for the alphabetical fun.) 

Courtesy CasetteVHS96One of the buzz phrases these days is The X Generation. Thisrelates to that up-and-coming group of
late teen to mid-20-year-olds who arejust about to take over the world as it were.

I have a lot more contact, however, with Generation Y. Y do Ihave to go to bed before you do? Y do I ...

Embarrassing?

 Embarrassing?

 

First published in Column 8 on the 10 May 1995, andwritten by my number two daughter, Abby, as a fun ‘guest’ writer. Surprisingly,this got the approval of my editor.

 Over the past four years, Mike Crowl has been writinginteresting and embarrassing anecdotes about us, his family. As one of the clanI feel it’s time to get our own back.

Mike Crowl was born in May five decades ago, and lived thefirst three years of his life in that small island to the west of New Zealand,Au...

Irritable

 Irritable

Published in Column 8 on 12th May 1993. Once again berating some of my children - at least in part. 

 

First issue of the RD, 1922I wonder how many other people who read the Reader’sDigest are inspired by the suggestions in their How-To articles – but findcarrying them out more like a Drama in Real Life.

I read one article about Dealing with Irritations.The reader is supposed to remember and use the several points listed to avoidbecoming angry at petty irritations. But rememb...