R.R. Virdi's Blog, page 11

Still writing?

Why yes I am.

Thank you invisible non existers.

Why am I still doing it? Sheesh. I wish I knew. I’d like to say something great like I have amazing dedication, or perseverance. In truth, it’s simpler than that. I can’t stop. That’s not meant to sound cool. I just can’t. Nothing makes me happier than losing myself in a daydream and letting the stories run off.

But then…the end half finished.

What do I do?

I’ll never know the ends of them. I’ll never know the bits and pieces in between.

So I have to write them. Then I need to know what happens after that book and so on.

Catch 22. Wonderful.

And it never ends. It’s great. I just wish I could focus on writing all the time. Maybe one day I’ll be able to. That’s the hope—the dream.

And I’m doing my best. Grave Beginnings is doing better than I believe it could,  winning awards and gaining a heckuva lot of reviews. Grave Measures is scheduled to come out  in a few more months. And the beginning of a new series starts this December. Looks like I’m doing some things.

Am I doing them right however? Will the make a difference in my life.

God, I wish I knew.

Maybe if I keep it up, I’ll find out.

That’s why I write. I love being lost to reality in one of my own. So I guess I’m still a kid. One who doesn’t like leaving questions unanswered. In fact, I hate that. I hate not knowing. So I’ll follow through on the stories until the end.

I wish I had a far cooler reason than that. I don’t. So the one I have will have to do.

Maybe at the end of this I’ll have a shelf of my own books. Maybe that’s childish to some. But it’s sure something motivating to me. It’s pretty cool. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go back and read them though.

Believe me, I wish I could.

So now I have some answers for myself since no one really reads this blog. Although, I never expected anyone to.

But maybe, one day, like the writing.

The New Year

Yes, I’m four days late. Woohoo. Thank you for noticing you eagle eyed reader you. No…I am not toning down my snark just because it’s a New Year. So ahem. What’s up today?

Well, a little reflection I guess for you and I. Doesn’t matter if you’re an author, painter, or something else. Just think about it. You made it through another year!!!

Yay! Cue clapping. Sounds easy, but I bet it wasn’t. When is it ever? But hey, you’re still here, and I bet you accomplished some pretty nifty things in 2015. It helps to look back and think about them. Because who knows, they might stack, compound and be built upon this year? Why not right?

For me. I finished my second novel in my series, edited it, sent it out to betas and got my first book into paperback. I began making nearly triple the income off writing. (Hold the applause…it’s nothing impressive, believe me.) I won best book of 2015 from an amazing, and prestigious review site/reviewer.  My novel has been featured in many places, and oh yeah, I have a fan club!? WITH ACTUAL FANS?!

I mean there are living, breathing, real life people who are my fans and aren’t being paid to be them!?

How’d that happen!?

See what I mean? Look back at 2015 because 2016 is just another year. All manner of wondrous things can happen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you might not have some bumps along the road. But even bumpy roads lead somewhere, right? That’s what matters.

It helps sometimes to think about all you’d like to accomplish this year. So for me, well….

Release book two in The Grave Report: Grave Measures. I’d like to write and finish books three and four this year, hopefully possible. And release a new novel and series I’ve been working on last year and will finish hopefully this month. Seems like 2016, at least in thought, will be pretty productive.

What about you? Any plans? Any big ideas? Resolutions? Anything you’ve been waiting for? Come on…secrets suck. Tell me!

Letting go by doing something

Yo-ho blarghers it’s another day. So what happens when life, when your art and things feel slow. When you’re worried and more? Let go?

Easier said than done, right?

Well what I’m about to say comes from experience. Sometimes letting go isn’t exactly about sitting back and letting things go. Sometimes it’s about finding something else to fixate on. Sometimes you need to divert your attention elsewhere. So it’s not so much about letting go but about focusing somewhere else. It works. It really does.

For me, when I’ve felt I’ve been away from writing too long to get back to it, I realize that’s wrong. I’m worried about trying to start back up. I’m terrified I’ll be horrible at it and that I can’t let go of those fears. So what do I do instead?

I decide to write. It’s hard yeah, but it’s easier than letting go sometimes. It’s easy to admit it will be difficult and do it anyways. It might not be perfect, but it will be done. It can be perfect later when I have the time to devote to polishing and editing. That’s how writing works.

So, that’s what I do.

Would it be wonderful if I just the fears and insecurities go? To stop worrying about my future and know all things with certainty?

Sure.

But that’s not how life works. So you can let go in a manner by getting busy. Works for me. And when I can’t write, I’ll read something. That works pretty well too. But don’t just take my word for it, try it. I mean reading is most definitely a form of writing practice. It helps and is relaxing. In fact some studies say that reading can relax you and your anxiety/worries and more by up to 67 percent more than listening to your favorite music. And hey, while we’re at it… what about music?

It’s a pretty nice way to let go of things. If you’re worrying and overthinking, sitting back with some music and lying down to potato, can really help.

Stop focusing so much on the idea of letting go and just do it. Do something. The rest (letting go) will take care of themselves. Sometimes letting go means stepping back. So step back, get out of your own way. Instead of letting your attention be pulled in fifty different directions of worry, wonder, anxiety and more… Put it into place. One place. Whatever that may be.

So write. Sing. Dance. Something. Do something, anything, and I promise you’ll be able to let go of the things that are holding you back from writing or whatever it is.

Doing something is the best thing to do if you can’t think of what to do?

Yeah…that wasn’t as profound or poetic as some things…but it still makes my point.

Time is your friend

Heyo blarghers, been a while. You’ve likely forgotten who I am. That’s cool. I do too some of the times.

So I’m back, have been very busy. Getting book one into print after all this time. It was a good decision as sales are amazing. Oh, I happened to win best book of 2015 from the illustrious A Drop of Ink Reviews. The reviewer featured on best selling novel Paladin by the ever so amazing Sally Slater. That was awesome.

So what am I here to talk about? Just to remind you that time is your friend. It’s been years since I wrote book one, Grave Beginnings. I’m still learning and have learned so much since then. Even though book two isn’t out yet (IM WORKING ON IT) I’ve improved greatly since then. It shows in my newer writings. Time isn’t your enemy, it’s your friend.

I’ve learned the business and marketing better. I’m growing, increasing sales and winning awards. Not too shabby right?

With time, no matter how far behind you feel, you’re not. You’re learning, growing, improving your writing and more. That’s only going to help your career. So trust it, go with it. Let time pass and do your thing. It’s not a race. You’re not fighting to outpace and run other authors. You just need to finish your works when you can, grow, and improve. Your career will turn out fine.

Just have some faith and realize time if your friend.

Let me ask you this. If you keep writing, publishing, growing and working hard, where do you see yourself in 15 years?

Pretty nice career right? Can you only imagine it!?

How about 10?

7?

5?

3?

1?

Just another year away, how much will you grow? Heck how far have you come in this year alone?

Let’s see, this year? Well again, I won a prestigious award, improved my writing more, sent off book two for final editing, had its cover designed, and oh yeah, released the paperback off to a great sales start. I am not bragging, I’m just making a point. That’s one year.

You can do these things. Heck, some of you already are. So just imagine in 15 years what you can and will be doing? Time is your friend. Understand that. Don’t feel rushed or behind. You’re not.

You will only get better. So stand back and let yourself.

Keep writing.

Grow.

But it’s hard!

I have been away for a short while, blarghers, but I’m back. Not in black, but gray. Because…I was too lazy to dig up a black shirt to make this comeback awesomesauce.

Today, I have words on writing. Writing can be hard.

Deal with it.

That’s all you have to do. Deal with it. You write anyways. There are going to be days when you don’t feel the magic. Deal with it. Write anyways. Why? Because at one time you did feel the magic. That spark’s still there, buried somewhere deep inside you. You need to write to get it back. Letting it sit and wane isn’t doing your story, our yourself, any favors. Write. Sit down, shut up, and write.

But it’s hard…

Yeah, but hard ain’t impossible.

You can write. What’s hard is losing your momentum. What’s hard is getting it back. Nothing is easier than keeping a ball rolling. Nothing is harder than starting it back up again, especially when it feels like it’s uphill. Do your best, and write.

But it’s hard…I pysch myself out and tell myself nobody wants to read it, or no one will like.

I’m so very sorry to break this to you, but there are 7 billion people on this planet. 7…billion. You’re not so specially unspecial that no one will want to read your book. Sorry to say it, but you’re the the special person that everyone will hate, and ignore. Oh well. Because the truth is, someone will read your book, someone will yearn for it. The truth is, that at the very least, there are two people out there who need your novel.

You. You need to finish it. And your biggest fan, who does exist. Sorry, but remember, 7 billion people. You’re not the most unspecial person who doesn’t get a fan. Everyone has one, you do to. Shut up and understand that.

7 billion people. Anything you could love, you can like, you want to write about, you will find others interested in it too. There are people, and will be more born, who want to hear your stories only the way you can tell them.

But it’s hard.

Yeah, well, so is just being a person these days. Life is hard. If you’re reading this, you’re clearly doing a good enough job at that. So you can do the writing thing. Trust me.

You chose to pick up the pen, put ink to paper, press the keys. Well guess what. It comes with responsibility. You have to finish what you start. You want to move on as a writer. Then write. Finish. Publish.

But it’s hard.

It’s always going to be. So what? You don’t do something because it’s easy or hard. You do it because you want to. Because you love to. In the end. Hard or easy are irrelevant. The only thing left is, did you do it? Did you finish? Did you love it?

You are going to have off days. That’s okay. I’m not saying you can’t. I’m saying finish. It’s going to be hard. That’s okay. That doesn’t mean it can’t be done. You’re going have haters and detractors. That’s okay. You’re also going to have fans and believers who want you to write. So write for them.

7 billion people. You’d be surprised how many need your story. How many will love them. How many will chat about your characters and hate and love them. How many will make art of them, some peppered over the web, others hidden but just as loved in the pages of a private journal.

7 billion people. Sorry to say it, but you’re not so special to be unspecial. You are special. You’re voice is singular among those 7 billion. And many of them will want to hear it.

7 billion people. And tons of them are waiting to hear your stories. You have work to do.

But it’s hard.

So is a kick in the butt. Go. Write. Now.

C’est La Vie

Life, it’s not fair, and it’s not easy. It’s hard, it’s not often considerate, and it’s challenging, especially for some artists. After all, it’s not a career path with any guarantees—in success, or income. But then, not all of us choose the path. It just happens. I sure didn’t pick it on purpose. What rational person would?

But here I am, battling depression, suicidal thoughts and…some other issues in my home/personal life. And oddly, it’s my writing that helps most. It’s the salve for my wounds as it were. Between that and my friends, despite everything else, things often are—bearable. Now that’s not a synonym for okay, or great, but sometimes, it’s enough. And enough is always what you need to just get by. And sometimes, just getting by is a win. It’s life.

Nobody wakes up and goes, I want to be an artist of any sort because I’m going to make lots of money starting out, be rich, and famous and it’s a safe path. It just happens. I was sitting at home on summer break just graduating high school. I knew what I wanted to be, a lawyer. I had good grades, not the best, but I had a great college I could go to, and a career path laid out.

Then I decided to write a novel. I still don’t know why. It just happened, as oft things do in life. It was the worst thing I’d ever written, that’s in comparison to last minute school essays and reports. It was also by far the most fun I had ever had. My plans were gone. Everything rewrote itself for my life in an instant without any thought. Everything clicked. This is what I want to do with my life. I went to a community college instead, trying to figure out just a daily normal path while I write.

It didn’t go so well. Lots of bouncing around and changing majors and just dropping out. Why bother spending time and money on pursuits I knew I wasn’t interested in, would devote all my attention and passion too, and just use up my time? So, I started writing more.

7 years later I have a novel published, it’s coming to print, and my personal home life makes hell seem like a holiday resort you visit in the winters to escape cold climates. But, I’m still just trying. I know there are no guarantees, there are times when I want to lay down and say die. Honestly, I still don’t know why I’m so adamant.

I’ll say it here, I still know there are no guarantees for me making it. Yet…part of me (the stupid part) believes otherwise. That as long as I keep writing, someone will keep reading, and that those numbers will grow as time passes. People read, the more I write, more people have a chance to see what I write, and so on. Law of Inevitability.

It’s not rational, but then, neither is being an author. I just am. I guess I’m here because something is clearly wrong with me, and then, my friends who are my real family and are endlessly supportive. They’re honestly the only reason why I’m not in a ditch, and am still writing.

But, why am I writing? I still don’t know why I chose it. I just don’t. It feels write, and it was never on my list of options of careers. So like I said, maybe I didn’t choose it. I know it sounds silly. But then, so is embarking on a path where I have literally no income, and the only thing I have to show for it are peoples opinions on amazon, buried among a zillion other writers.

*shrug*

But, it’s life, and I’m just trying to get through it. Some days it’s hard, some days it’s worse, some days it’s enough to get by. Right now, I’m just getting by. I hope it’s enough. One day, maybe I’ll be able to let everyone know that it does work out.

Till then, it’s just life, c’est la vie.

Star Wars and Writing

You are a writer, deep down, you already have and know your stories. You just need to trust yourself to write them. Give yourself permission to be awesome, to run wild, and give voice to the ideas that spring up. Stop questioning, doubting and overthinking things. Just write. You can always edit stuff later, but you can’t edit what isn’t written. Write.

You’ve literally read, and recorded endless stories over your life. They’re inside you, deep, deep in a dark mushy place called your brainbox.

All the greats say it. If you write what you love, have fun with it, others will too. At this point, it might be a cliche, but the only reason they keep saying it, is because it has to be true on some level. Or else why bother? It’s true….all of it. The Dark Side, The Jedi, the Force….all of it.

Wait…wrong thing…um…sorry. But for ideas… Star Wars is literally a space opera following a king arthur story with samurais and magic powers (HUUUUUUUUUUUGE STAR WARS NERD…SO IM NOT MAKING FUN OF IT, AM MAKING A POINT) but people love it. Seriously, just think about the story.

A type of space warriors who are in tune with an invisible, magical force that lets them do awesome things and they fight with laser swords. A rebellion, and evil empire, daddy issues, aliens, and… the lovable skeptical rogue, a princess, a mentor character….like merlin….

^^It’s take from a lot of famous stories and myths…in fact…IT IS. Joseph Campbell talks about star wars a lot in the heroes journey and more.

YOU CAN DO IT! YOU HAVE STORIES, TRUST THEM. YOU COULD BE BIG!

Then…you will adopt me and let me sleep in your house on a fuzzy carpet…I will be a good ronnie with lots of motivations for you!

Why we’re going to make it

Arrogance? Before afternoon. Egads! How do I do it? Well, it’s not my fault, not entirely anyways. So whose fault is it? Well, that blame goes to my wonderfully amazing friends. That’s right. That’s how I know I’m going to make it and succeed one day as an author, and so can you. Pretty arrogant right?

So why am I placing this heaping mountain of blame at their feet, and not taking it all for myself? Well, without them, I would have crumbled long ago. In fact, I’m starting to realize that friends are the key to success. Why? Because, they’re the ones keeping me going. Yes, I’m going slow, that’s on me, the slow goings. But I’m still going, why am I going at all? My friends. I mean I wrote book one without them….woooo < (sarcasm) but why is it doing as well as it is?

Good question? *Thinking man pose*

My friends. Shocker. Spreading the word, checking it out themselves, being a better marketing team than any business has. Trust me on this. They’re magical, and I don’t know how. They’re the reason I have 104 reviews at this time, five fully colored in stars on amazon. That’s…for an indie author….mighty impressive. They’re the reason book one is heading to print at all, all the nudging and gentle, sometimes not so much, nagging. They’re pushing me to be better and not a failure, even when I feel like one. The biggest one.

So I guess, this is for them. Something to show them how much they mean to me and that none of this is really my success, and accomplishments. It’s really theirs, I’m just being carried and pushed. They are why I know I’ll succeed, because they’re scary, and aren’t really leaving me any options but that.

So, it’s rather obvious, to succeed, you need good people, great friends. I’m blessed I have ’em. I may not have money, a college degree, a fancy this, a girlfriend, and or hollywood looks, but I have amazing people in my life who want to see me become something. And they won’t let me fail. So thank you, all of you.

You are all amazing, wonderful people with amazing hearts. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, I’m not going to ask, I’ve learned not to question the good things…sort of. But thank you.

*Raises glass* Here’s to success.

And to anyone reading this, remember, whatever it is you want to do, get the right people beside you, they will mean more than all the money, and anything else material. They will be the reason you progress at all. Trust me. They’ll keep you from folding like a contortionist.

Things Happening

So, it’s been more than a week since I’ve written here, on noes, don’t worry blarghers, I be aight. Ahem, so things are happening for me that kept me from writing, yes…I am sorry about being away. I love you all. Your butts look amazing. Now that we got the pleasantries out of the way, wusup with me?

Well….Recently Grave Beginnings broke past the 100 review barrier. Yay. I have received the official proof copy to verify it heading to print. Double Yay. Book two has returned back from editing and is in further editing, yay (for you fans…I’m the one having to balance all this work) and work progresses on my new novel/series, a treat for you all. So yes, am busy busy. But, these are good things.

Why? Because it goes back to what I talk about so often here, motivation. Hard work paying off and adding up. All these efforts are paying off! My first novel is doing stupendously well, it’s heading to print! The second book is shaping up for release, yes its late, two years so, but better late than never. I am not some giant best selling author will zillions of fans waiting for my books or they take my head. I am still building myself, so it’s okay if I take a bit longer since life does happen and hold people up. And my third novel, the start of a new series is making good progress. It means that if I keep working hard and doing my thing, 2016 might be a great year for me. It’s proof, efforts add up, they pay off.

That means anything you can do, want to do, and are doing, will pay off. They just take time. I mean, I’m going to be in print soon. That means book signings, and so many other things. It’s the author dream taking shape, isn’t that oh so dope? I think it is! So yeah.

Things are good, just wanted to share that with you few that care. Take care and I’ll be back with blarghing to do when I am not nursing a cold!

Grumpy mornings

Blargh. Blargh. Blargh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m awake, it’s early, I hate it. I hate the light, the sun, the morning, the morning people, being awake. But I’m up. So I’m going to write. Screw everything, I am grumpy. Grrr.

You can’t see it but I’m snarling, growling, rassling, grassling, murfling and being a curmudgeon. But, I’m going to write and turn off my brain. It’s a good exercise. This is just for me. Not you. Besides, most of you aren’t even real. You’re imaginary. I man. me…have followers? Absurd. Still not awake. Want to sleep. Popped caffeine pills. Am I up? Nope.

Blargh. Whoever invented mornings needs to die. So not cool.