Tim Learn's Blog, page 18

Chewy Noh: Free!

On Sale!

Starting today and going until Friday, Chewy Noh and the Fall of the Mu-dang and Chewy Noh and the Phantasm of Winter are free on Amazon. I hope all of you go and check them out.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=chewy+noh

Sometime in the new year, the next volume will be coming out. Until then, you can read an excerpt of Chewy Noh and the March of Death, and maybe vote for it on Kindle Scout below.

https://kindlescout.amazon.com/p/4LD3KBBHDPYD

Hecate’s Faun

Hecate’s Faun

(Dark Fantasy)

By Marc Royston

  Rating

Synopsis

An old woman finds a mysterious body while the world around her is killing itself with the Civil War. From there, things fall apart, and secrets are revealed.

Prose

This was the hardest part of the story to weather through and probably the biggest cause for the low score. I don’t understand the fascination many authors have using unbelievably old styled prose. It’s almost as if they think it sounds more legit. I’m not sure. Either way, if the story takes place in some time before now (the most immediate present,) then everyone must speak in a hyper poetic / repetitive manner. Check it out.

Whispering secrets, my blade drew threads of silver through the air. The wine of the living flowed.

Then there’s the classic repeat, repeat, repeat.

…not long thereafter, the midpoint of my backbone prickled. A wave of frost chilled me from within, and a feather of warning caressed my neck.

Translation: I’m scared. I’m scared. I’m scared.

The author constantly abuses us with not just overly flowery sentences, but also enacts the telltale sin of new writers—the ever dreaded over description.

Now that I saw him closely, he had the look of one who was fond of his liquor. His skin appeared pickled; his nose was bulbous and inflamed; and his gestures lacked certainty. Moreover, his words dragged, ever-so-slightly slurred. But if he had in fact imbibed of late, I caught no scent of it.

If you find any of this unappealing, I beg you to skip the first three pages. There is literally sentence upon sentence of the narrator’s thoughts that fold in upon itself, explaining her horrible situation. This kind of narrative worked for Poe, and even he showed restraint.

In the end, the author does have a wonderful vocabulary, but as Vonnegut expressed best, when using big words, they should be applied lightly and in a way in which the reader doesn’t even notice them.

Characters

As bad as that first part may seem, it gets slightly better from here on. When it comes to characters, it actually had some nice ones. The main character, an old woman who is left unnamed until the end, has depth when she’s not rattling on and on with her archaic prose.

With her, from time to time, there is some genuine character building, though to what end I’m still unsure of. And as for a goal, it’s fairly simple: to bury the body she found and not let others do as they wish with it. Some of this is still unclear. However, along the way, she encounters soldiers of the Civil War going on around her, and they seem real enough.

Structure

There is little structure in the story. As I’ve stated the first three pages or so are ramblings, until suddenly she stumbles upon the body. With the overly abstruse sentences, I had to take breaks from the story and often found myself lost upon returning to it. But beyond that, it appears to have a simple enough storyline that slowly uncovers the past and how this past has brought about this woman’s unfortunate situation in life.

Overall

The only reason I finished this book is because it was short. Had it been much longer, I would’ve tossed it aside much earlier and given it an even lower grade. The way this author presented his material confused and distorted without really setting any mood. Then there is little dialogue and when there is, it is filled with the same self-indulgent tendencies. If anything, this appears to be a character study, because not much happens, and very little change occurs with the protagonist. I know the author is writing a newer, longer book soon. I hope with it, he updates his vernacular and sentence structures.

To buy the book, click here.

To check out the author’s website, click here

Kindle Scout!

Chewy Noh’s third book is still on Kindle scout! Come check it out and vote! Thanks!

 

https://kindlescout.amazon.com/p/4LD3KBBHDPYD

To Beat a Grammarian: Miscellaneous Points on Modifiers and Adjective Clauses

To Beat a Grammarian:

Miscellaneous Points on Modifiers and Adjective Clauses

Now that you’re clear on what modifiers are, let’s look a little more at common mistakes a few authors do with them, beyond the rudimentary ones.

Twiddling his fingers, Tom walked over, staring at the baroque art.

Truly, there’s only a slight problem with this. As you can see, this sentence has two modifying clauses lined up right after the other. This can be fine, but too often, in beginner writing, I see this happen over and over everywhere—this includes mine own from time to time. The easiest way to fix it is to throw in a coordinating conjunction or FANBOYS, or use an infinitive. In this instance, this:

Twiddling his fingers, Tom walked over and stared at the baroque art.

or

Twiddling his fingers, Tom walked over to stare at the baroque art.

When it comes to adjective clauses, I’ve noticed another odd habit. See below.

Billy was shocked, seeing the car that shone a bright red.

All in all, it’s not that bad. But usually an adjective clause is used to append information to a noun that is something other than an adjective; hence, a clause. However, as you can see, the above clause is comprised of the adjectives ‘bright’ and ‘red’ which don’t need to be turned into a clause. The best way to write it then is:

Billy was shocked, seeing the bright red car.

Now, some may quibble that the ‘shone’ verb in the line lends a quality of shininess to the car as well as gives a certain style to the presentation. That may be true, but when this fault occurs over and over in a manuscript, it appears to be more than just a stylish tick.

Another problem arising with this kind of writing is the dreadful hanging adjectives. Check it out.

He marched into the room, strong and proud, making his way straight to Tessa.

In the middle of this line, we see ‘strong and proud.’ Again, like the above one, it can be okay to use from time to time. But self-published works use it far too often. Any book that does so starts to take on an amateur sense to it.

With all the different techniques we can use as writers, one of the most important is variety—as I’ve mentioned elsewhere. Using one too frequently kills momentum. On top of that, it just feels lazy. In this situation, you either need to pump up your weak verb, or append the adjectives to their correct place.

In the end, these may be small flaws to address, but they are ever-present. And when it comes to the pen of bloodthirsty grammarians, leaning on the side of caution is always best.

Top Three Self Published Books of 2015

Top Three Self Published Books (I’ve read in 2015)

Out of the thirty books reviewed this year, here are the best.

1) Solitaire Prince by Tyan Wyss

 

This book came to me through a reading group on goodreads. At first, I was worried about what this group would offer up, but overall, it was an amazing experience. Many good writers with a basic understanding of how to treat others were apart of it. And I was thoroughly surprised to read this one, the first book selected by the group.

It is professional to a ‘T.’ With only maybe two mistakes in the entire book when it comes to grammar, most anyone can enjoy it. On top of this, the story flows relentlessly after the second chapter opens. The author did an amazing job with tension and the story wraps up nicely.

For these reasons and more, I still stand by my five star rating. I suggest it to anyone. 

Buy here!

2)  Betrayal of Ka by Shea Oliver

 

After a long string of poorly constructed books, I came upon this one. In all fairness, other reviewers I know gave this a slightly lower grade than my perfect score, and I fully understand why. The beginning is a little clunky, but I still feel the writer picks up the slack fast, yanking us along as the main character, Ka, is thrown about from one event to the next.

Besides that, somehow the author was able to toss in so many different plotlines that you end up rooting for many different characters, and even feel a guilty thrill watch the devilish ones go about their business. In fact, the book was so jammed pack, I wouldn’t be amazed that I’ve already forgotten some of the storylines. In that case, I might have to reread it when he comes out with the next in the series.

Anyone who loves Sci-fi enjoyably done should pick up this book. 

Buy Here!

3) Red Bone by Matt Phillips

This one was particularly interesting. I had just started this blog and my adventure into getting my things read and reviewed when I got a review request from this author. It was for a short story collection of his. I figured it would be easy and not too difficult. I was half right.

It turned out to be a collection from over many years, and to be honest, the beginning was rough. I found myself doubting the read, and played with the idea more than once of dropping the book altogether. What was amazing was that it got better. The writing matured. And I said as much in my review.

Then some time after, the author shot me an e-mail requesting I check out his new one—a full novel this time. I said sure and was very happy I did so. He kept the maturity from his former writing and added pacing and control. The book flowed wonderfully and painted the life of a blue-collar worker exceptionally. The only reason I didn’t give it a full five stars was because I felt a few notes were off. But it was an amazing read nonetheless, and I have a feeling his next will astound.

Buy Here!

Honorable Mention

Metamorphosis

By Isabella MacLeod

This book actually came right after The Betrayal of Ka and was so shockingly different in genre and style that it caught me right away. It had a startling realism and compelling voice all its own. Blatantly, it scared the crap out of me.

However, it didn’t get into the top three for a very crucial reason–also the same reason it didn’t receive a full rating–because it technically had no ending. And I don’t mean the author gave something ambiguous for us to figure out for ourselves. I would’ve loved that. No, she left it open for the next book, which is, to say the least, irksome.

Above all, every character in the book is so despicable, so deceitful and self-serving, that it only reaffirms the notion that all adults are nothing more than glorified children ruling with false authority. Frightening!

Buy it here.

This Jerkwater Life

This Jerkwater Life

(Short Story Literary)

By James  Berndt

Rating

Synopsis

A growing clash between the Native American tribes and Douglas’ hometown inhabitants invades every aspect of his life, all the way down to the recent death of his father. In a way, both seem to haunt him as he tries to find a way to carry on.

Prose

What I liked about this story is it keeps things simple. Every line gives just enough without going overboard, like some writers like to do.

The next day Shawna stops by, asks if I want to check out the new coffee shop. We’ve never had a real coffee shop in Mercer. Not unless you count the bait shop.

The narrator’s voice is tranquil and without guile, just as you’d expect from a small town person. This isn’t to say his thinking is limited.

Characters

But as much as Douglas may be a reflection of the surrounding small town minds, he is also a true offspring from both his parents. His father fit very neatly into the mentality of the world around him, as does Douglas at times, but he also has a sense of introspection from his mother who only married the father after mistaking him as a deep person because of a statue of Don Quixote he had.

The other characters are well depicted, too. Shawna comes off strong and distinct, and even Marty, his employee, reads just like an average Joe from the Wisconsin north. The author clearly knows his material.

Structure

If there is a fault, it seems to always lie here, in the structure. We understand he’s not one hundred percent sure how he feels about his father’s death—though the end seems to paint it in a way that he believes he’s at fault. I don’t see that though. The strongest part is the ever-growing dispute between Native Americans and the rednecks. Yet, even after hearing that two whites pretty much stomped a Native American boy to death, there is no retribution or confrontation. The revenge Douglas and Shawna get ends up feeling just as hollow as Douglas’ morose guilt toward his father. If anything, I just wanted something a little more powerful.

Overall

It’s a quick, and fairly enjoyable read—well worth the ninety-nine cents. Coming from a small town in Wisconsin, I fully understood the narrator’s viewpoint and felt a bit at home in the story. Still, it just didn’t shine perfectly for me. Not to mention moments when the writing became a little to conscious or aware of itself, like when Shawna comments, “Don’t you just love this jerkwater town?” or later when, out of the blue, she brings up her stepfather killing her mom. Unfortunately, I like a seamless read and this book fell just shy of it.

Check out his book here

And the author’s website, here.

Chewy Noh and the Phantasm of Winter

A hardy thanks goes out to Angel over at 5 girls book review for another awesome review!

Check it out!

http://5girlsbookreviews.blogspot.kr/2015/12/book-review-chewy-noh-and-phantasm-of.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed:+5GirlsBookReviews+(5+Girls+Book+Reviews)

Chewy Noh and the Fall of the Mu-dang review

Another wonderful, well-thought review. Thank you much Tanaz!

Check it out!

https://bookishfreaks.wordpress.com/2015/12/07/review-chewy-noh-and-the-fall-of-the-mu-dang-by-tim-learn/

To Beat a Grammarian: Bold Lettering

To Beat a Grammarian: Bold Lettering

Wow! Looking in on this one, I was genuinely taken aback. Turns out quite a few of us use this baby wrong, but I can see where the disconnect happens. First off, a word emboldened in text pops out and grabs attention like nothing else, so you think, hey, why the hell not? Well, there seems to be more to it than you’d think.

1) Chapter Titles

Placing your title in bold is often done and is looked upon as a fine way to use this tool.

2) Table of Contents

It is also okay to strengthen the contents of your book, or so I’ve been told.

And here’s the kicker: beyond that, you shouldn’t use it!

Now you may be saying, then why did you just use it in the sentence above. Easy! Bold text is a tool used much more often in non-fiction writing. For writing like this, it is okay. It emphasizes and highlights important points. However, when it comes to fiction, you’re not making a presentation or a list of facts and things that might need recalling later. In fact, as I’ve been reprimanded by quite a few, bold should never be used in the actual text of a book. Go figure!

So there you can see why so many get it wrong. We see blogs and letters that toss emboldened text every other line (a no-no in of itself), but if you think hard, only the rare book ever uses it. Instead, most often, it is replaced with italics, which is an entirely different discussion. As for now, though, our current one is done.

Chewy Noh and the March of Death

I decided to try Kindle scout again. My first time wasn’t horrible, so her goes for another round.

https://kindlescout.amazon.com/p/4LD3KBBHDPYD