Shuvashree Chowdhury's Blog, page 40

A Diary Of Random Thoughts – 2

14th June:

I never allow myself to be so bored in my own company…that I become dependent on others to entertain me always, and thus allow them to become bored of me in turn.

***

Failure toughens you, teaches you the essence of humility, and builds your character in preparation for success and adulation, so you are prepared to deal with its deluge rather than drown in its tide.

***

I love going up into the mountains, they make me realise just how small I am and yet how firm. The beauty around and below caresses me with calm, even as the chilly pure air wraps me in a blanket of security and assurance, reminds me how strong I can be even in my solitary minuteness. I have the freedom to stretch my arms here, touch the clouds as if in a dream, and float up if I dare. As I climb up to the light and warmth of the sun, passers-by may notice, follow suit in my trudge.

15th June:

I ensure to bathe in positive thoughts daily, at some time in the day however late, whatever my engagements, and I share…as I believe when you share anything it multiplies manifold

12th June:

Happiness: Sometimes, the only way you can be happy, even when your world seems to be crashing around you, and all you feel is a void inside, is by putting your energy into making others happy. Like the moon, you will absorb and reflect the beams of happiness people exude, and your life will glow again from it. Thus making others happy can make you happy. There is no harm then in faking a smile, is there, till it soon truly defines you.

10th June:

Just when you’re done defining me, I’d go and redefine myself…just when you think I can’t do that, I’ll prove you wrong; by the time you’re sure that’s exactly what I’ll do…I’ll do it no more. Predictably, unpredictable…is how I see myself, and yet, very predictably, if ever you need my help I’ll be there. See I’ve defined myself, so don’t bother doing it yourself ha-ha

8th June:

Less Can Be More and More Can Be Less:

I really wish people would appreciate this viewpoint, then they would recognize why people with far less than what they have, can be much happier than them. It’s because they don’t understand this basic idea that people think those who are apparently happy with little are faking it.

Happy people are chasing the right attitude, even as you chase quantifiable gains to reach a state of exaltation which constantly eludes you…so it’s time to wake up to that.

People assume those with less would be jealous of them. They need never be, as they could be feeding their souls with the right attitude, also the choice of relationships and dreams, even as you feed yours – with the debris of measurable gains that weigh you down.

6th June:

if you keep hovering close to the shore, afraid to swim deeper into sea, you will never see the beauty of the shore from the distance…how it beckons you, cajoles you, with its glittering lights and the absolute beauty of life, to enable you to appreciate it to the fullest…So, just brave going out far from your secure zone, risking getting lost even, you will find a way to return with greater appreciation of life and what you have.

***

Everyone has a unique way of expressing – love, anger, rebellion, pain, sadness, even jealousy. After the initial euphoria of love, it should well settle into being the process of deciphering all of that about someone, loving them for it. It should not be seen as the process of identifying whether their demonstration is attuning to our perceptions or its manifestation. Then disillusionment sets in and kills love. We might like to keep our individuality and also ally our perceptions to that of the one we love. All forms of love, including friendship, may be aligned to this thought, so as to thrive. However, I categorically override habitual misbehaviour, justified as love, from this premise.

June 1:

A PENNY FOR MY THOUGHTS…is anybody interested?

I am constantly dissuaded, by my writer husband, from sharing quotes. That I continue to do so steadily is out of my strong conviction, that sometimes it is a mere statement from a reputed source that makes a major difference to someone’s life. It is not that I am not confident of my own thoughts and wisdom, or of my capacity to articulate them well, that makes me share time-honoured ones. It is rather my insight that allows me to discern people will not take my words seriously enough to consider life alterations, until I have made a name for myself. How else do I explain the readiness of even close friends to read my husband for the first time, over me? I graciously accept it is his brand equity from two decades of being a journalist with reputed papers and of being an established author now in addition to a really good one that is the cause, not necessarily a personal preference for his writing even before reading him.

As for me, with as many years in the corporate sector, but not even as many days as a writer have as yet to build my brand one steep step at a time. I have changed my work industry several times and every time I have had to build my brand-equity from start, so I am not intimidated by the need to do it all over again in ‘writing’.

I’m quoting here an example to validate my point: I had attended a concert in Chennai over a year ago, by Shreya Ghoshal, the reputed singer. Before she came on stage, as is often the case, a very young male singer – unknown, sang a few numbers, by the end of which the audience vociferously tried to boo him off stage, asking for Shreya to come on instead. The young singer, his condition leaving a big impact on me perhaps forever, continued to sing through the loud catcalls bidding his time. When Shreya came on stage, true to anyone who has made it big through struggle, praised the young singer fervently, stating she had selected him from amongst a large number who were vying for that role. After Shreya’s performance, when again that singer came on stage for a few final numbers, the same audience applauded him, much to my surprise and to a lesson well learnt as to why endorsements are so important.

So friends, until I am able to establish myself as a reputed writer, you’re going to be served a steady dose of thoughts from established sources that inspire me Also, something my husband is yet to learn about me – by now, through my stint as an executive search consultant, followed by that as a historical fiction author, I am master of internet research. He assumes, I spend hours to dig out the quotes I surface with and post and I should much rather be using that time to work on my writing. I believe in working smart, not only working hard.

1st June:

Leaps of faith are like a desperate run for the last train/bus home for the day, so I’m not left stranded, or they could well be as the rush for the first transport to get to work, so I’m ahead of everyone to prepare for my day / life.

Whichever way I look at it, I take these leaps a lot and am getting pretty prolific at it I have landed or been propelled to sea so often. But I’ve learnt to swim against the tide, bathed in salt water / tears and come out feeling stronger, wiser, invigorated by the swim.

15th May:

Writing versus Acting: Writing fiction is different from acting in a film, in that in the first you have to make the reader enact the scenes in their head as the director would, while in acting you enact them yourself. In both cases, you get into the minds and under the skin of your characters, feel them through all your senses, laugh with them, cry with them, love and hate with them, you become your characters completely. In writing, you’re not only the director, but also an entire film crew. You choose the location, create the setting, choose the props and above all humour and engage your actors – who in this case are the readers, with the choicest of words and analogies, so they don’t get bored, till they complete the act till the end of the novel, in their heads.

14th May:

This has always been my view on confidence, right since school: never to look at which point in the race others are, but focus on where I wish/have to reach. It helps garner mental and physical energy towards making it to the finishing line, rather than dissipating them on viewing others position, feeling insecure by those seemingly ahead. Thus even if I don’t win a race, I never have regrets, for I know I’ve put in my best effort. A lot of people like to see this attitude either as over confidence or heedlessness, but then that’s their perspective.

8th May:

Communication: An adage I’ve practised since very young, noticing subtle cues when communicating with a person, sometimes seemingly distracted to spoken words as I don’t rely as much on them as I do the written, and I’ve never been sorry. You get better at this skill as you do with the practise of any other, till it becomes involuntary like with driving, swimming or cycling. In my view, you don’t really need someone to tell you that they like you or love you, as you can sense if they do, though it feels great to be told…or for that matter not understand when someone dislikes you, is upset, angry or jealous.

2nd May:

WORDS: The written word, gives many of us power, clarity and definition, when used over the spoken word. With written words we do not exhaust ourselves through physical manifestation and overpowering by voice or personality. I first gained cognizance of this through one of my clients – the MD, in my stint as executive search consultant. He always insisted on getting all top/senior level recruits to write out a speech/plan/email, before making an offer, in order to judge their cognitive abilities. In his view, verbal interviews can fail due to personality overrule, but not if one is asked to write a page with clarity. I have since then, used this awareness to my personal strength and to debate with myself into a standpoint or solution. It is also much easier to speak one’s mind, in writing, when the other person is not trying to physically over power you as some of us have not been blessed with a loud and booming voice or aggressive body language or a threatening countenance Perhaps why I chose to become a writer…to be heard… ha-ha.

19th March:

Unaccompanied…

At times I have so much to say,

At other times nothing at all

Sometimes I feel one with the world,

At others from outside I view the world

At times I want to be amidst people,

Quite often just alone with my thoughts

However in life I equate with the world,

I know, one day, alone I must depart

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Click…

The Click…

It strikes, ignites you

Seeps you, fuels you

Outwits, propels you

Blinds you, scalds you

A splinter traces you-

Splits you, probes you.

The flame engulfs you-

Nuzzles, caresses you.

As it crushes you down-

Intimately it shocks you,

Rocks you, frenzies you,

Melts you, trickles you.

Burning out inside you,

Exuding, drenching you-

Diffusing, satiating you;

Leaving you cold to touch.

Fathers Day thoughts: The Essence Of Your Hand.

The Essence Of Your Hand…
 
Dad, you taught me right from wrong,
Filled my lips with a joyous song.
Whenever I slipped, you held my hand,
Helped me leave imprints in the sand.

 

I looked to you for strength and support,
When on others I could not depend.
My life was often turbulent and blue,
But you helped me sail right through.

 

My eyes and smile I inherited from you,
Always forever reminding others of you.
But I was forever a little girl to you,
Whose hand you held right through.

 

Opening the gate in the evenings to you,
Ensured with chocolates you walked through.
Your charming warmth always a part of you,
You picked me up, hugged me close to you.

 

In life’s long journey I keep looking for you,
In whom do you reside, so I may find you?
Now that you’re gone all that’s always there-
Is the essence of your supportive hand.


 

 

Dad & I ….he left us on the 5th of Jan, 2005.


 

The Prism Of My Heart

The Prism Of My Heart

At times I write a short verse,

To capture a momentous thought

At others, to freeze what I just saw,

I click a photograph that can say it all;

A random sketch I make on handy paper,

A maze of contradictory fleeting thoughts

Then to it I add brush strokes of varied colour,

That reflects light through the prism of my heart.

I feel compelled to express myself in sundry form,

So as to deter my mind and my soul from steady rot:

I keep flowing, so like a rolling stone I gather no moss

Imagination Of Love

Imagination Of Love

 

Why is it that I miss you so?

Only days since you’re at another shore

Why am I unable to make you see?

You’ve begun to mean the world to me

 

Why does it not matter how you feel

So long as my heart can intone steadily.

After long I now feel light and cheery

Of my loneliness, I’ve learnt to be free

 

Thinking of ‘us’ now makes me smile

As in my imagination we have a life

In which we wake together at dawn

Each of us to our private thoughts

 

Over tea as we overlook the blue sea

From our balcony amidst tall trees

We see the sun beaming cheerily

Caressing the sea, it gurgles sensitively-

 

As I giggled in your arms last night

When you made love to me teasingly.

You never cease to make me smile

As it also gives you a steady high

 

In your mind you also play this scene

Where you make love to me tender and sweet

Though in this life we’re as yet to meet

I can feel every inch of your being

 

Imagination is like the gleam of the sun

That permeates where nothing else can

It warms or scorches us with its rays

Shielding us from life’s virulent haze

 

The lines above were inspired by the ones below:

“I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow and the soul.” ― Pablo Neruda

 

Thoughts On Love & A Love For Thoughts:

Thoughts On Love & A Love For Thoughts

“Love is like a fizzy cola drink. Only the bottle perceives the pressure inside till you open it, though the world sees its perky colour. Then once you uncork, it keeps fizzing for a while and is unsettling, gushing out and over, till it slowly settles down to allow you to enjoy it, cooling you in the process, till it drains out completely and then leaves you with an aftertaste sweet or sour. If you’ve enjoyed the drink, which you’ll truly indemnify only once the bitter-sweet flavour leaves your senses, you’ll crave for another one, perhaps similar, if not you’ll avoid it altogether for a long time to come.”….these lines are from the new novel I’m writing.

I’m sharing this on Face Book, as my writer husband is always vociferously criticizing me for only sharing quotes. He wonders why and how a wannabe writer has nothing original to say. I cannot seem to get him to see, that I have so much to say to the world, but am dressing it all to be a bride and would prefer not to allow the world to see its pristine face yet. Till then, I like to connect with my friends, by sharing thoughts that I like and inspire myself with.

While on the topic of love, here’s some more food for thought:

“Nascent love requires a lot of nurturing, just as a sapling that has been sown into the warm brown earth of your heart. If it is ignored by the one you love – the gardener, not weeded off scepticism, ego and fear, it will be plucked out by the errant bird – self-pride, transplanted on to the fertile soil of another planter who considers himself blessed by the gift of love.”

 

“Thoughts are like nectar that words both spoken and written carry as Bees do, into the beehive of your mind. Then once sealed in with the honeycomb of your attitudes and values, they produce honey that feed your soul for a lifetime.”

By Shuvashree Ghosh

A LITERARY CRUSH

A Literary Crush…

First it was your lyrical words I met

Then it was your enchanting thoughts

Through them different worlds I viewed

My arms tucked into yours I walked

It kept raining in that world we trooped

As drenched through our skins we were

Yet I did not feel the moist on my skin

As your magical words warmed my heart

I traversed with you through hills and plain

My hand securely clasped in yours

You led me through wind and snow alike

Though the rain never left our side

In my heart I knew you so well by now

Even though we were as yet to meet

Your soul had reached out to touch mine

As words travel where none can reach

 So when you opened your door to me

My soul walked right into your arms

Though we looked on as strangers do

Our hearts melted effortlessly into one

The wine you poured warmed my blood

Yet a chill ran down my spine and heart

  Worried I was you could hear my heart beat

  Loud as thunder of those clammy nights

Though I kept on rambling incessantly

Over the dance recital and then dinner

I wish I could bring myself to tell you

A mere hug could make me steadier

As you walked me home in the chill

A good distance we kept in our strides

I spoke ceaselessly till we reached my gate

But nothing of what went on in my mind

This meeting, I dreamt after reading your book

As I fell asleep with it covering my brazen heart

Not before you’d kissed my soul with steady lips - 

After which I melted into the warmth of your arms…

Long Distance Love: A Sketch

LONG DISTANCE LOVE

 

Driving in through the iron gates

A beautiful garden in front we gaze

Bluebells swaying on either side

A humming bird chirping to my right

Waiting in the car for you to check us in

My heart in my mouth I sadly think

A great job opportunity though it is

Can our love survive this stint?

Tomorrow you will go away

Today is all we have to embrace

As you may not return before long

We have to make the most of today

The Daisies, Tulips, Carnations, all

Are mute spectators to my aching heart

How do I just let you go away?

Why can’t we together, forever stay?

Quietly we sit by the fire place

My grieving heart why can’t it just wait?

Let me enjoy the warmth of your embrace

Tomorrow is as yet far away

 

Long Distance Love : A Sketch

LONG DISTANCE LOVE

 

Driving in through the iron gates

A beautiful garden in front we gaze

Bluebells swaying on either side

A humming bird chirping to my right

Waiting in the car for you to check us in

My heart in my mouth I sadly think

A great job opportunity though it is

Can our love survive this stint?

Tomorrow you will go away

Today is all we have to embrace

As you may not return before long

We have to make the most of today

The Daisies, Tulips, Carnations, all

Are mute spectators to my aching heart

How do I just let you go away?

Why can’t we together, forever stay?

Quietly we sit by the fire place

My grieving heart why can’t it just wait?

Let me enjoy the warmth of your embrace

Tomorrow is as yet far away

 

The [KINDLE EDITION] of my novel Across Borders:

The Link to the [KINDLE EDITION] of my novel Across Borders:
http://www.amazon.com/ACROSS-BORDERS-SHUVASHREE-GHOSH-ebook/dp/B00J7Y5IJI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395767854&sr=8-1&keywords=across+borders+by+shuvashree+ghosh