EJ Axelsson (Formerly EJ Valson)'s Blog, page 2

Read, Play, Win!! (THE NOSTALGIA EFFECT TRIVIA GAME $50 Amazon Gift Card)

 

The Nostalgia Effect Trivia Game is up!! Answer all 10 trivia questions about The Nostalgia Effect correctly and qualify to win a $50 Amazon Gift Card! It gets better, promote this event by “Sharing” or “Retweeting” the contest info and be eligible to win an additional $10 if you are the contest winner!  CLICK HERE TO PLAY!!

If you haven’t yet read The Nostalgia Effect, now is your chance
to get your own ebook copy by clicking one of the links below! 
Smashwords (FREE HERE) Amazon Barnes and Noble
Please see contest rules and information: The winner will be randomly selected amongst those who correctly answered all 10 questions. To be eligible to win the additional $10 Amazon Gift Card you must either “retweet” on Twitter or “share” on Facebook and enter the trivia contest. Game hosts must be able to verify your “share” or “retweet” before the additional $10 is awarded. You will not receive an additional $10 for more than one “share” or “retweet” if you qualify.The Contest will be hosted through online and is a multiple choice game. Contestants will have access to the Trivia Game link via the EJ Valson-Author Facebook page or via Twitter when @ejvalson provides the link.  The Contest link will close by 9:00 PM Pacific Time on January 25th, 2015. Contest officials will choose a winner by 11:59 PM on 1/25/15 and the winner will be contacted and gift will be rewarded electronically within 24 hours of being drawn.No purchase necessary (but odds are better if you read the book). One entry per person (name and email is required).

Happy Anniversary to me!!

It's been a year since I released my first book, The Nostalgia Effect In honor of that, I'm giving the ebook away for FREE thru December. Get it on Smashwords, Barnes and Noble and many more here! https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...

The Nostalgia Effect--Revised

After I finished writing Made in Sweden (coming soon), I decided to take a look at my hard copy of The Nostalgia Effect. Within the first few pages, it became quite clear, that it needed a little facelift. Though the story is very personal to me and I'm very proud of it, it's evident that I might have rushed through it. Not because I was tired of writing it, or because I had to meet some deadline, but because it was very emotional to write, and thus I wrapped it up quickly.

Now, after have written another book and one that was a LOT less personal, I was able to be more objective and read The Nostalgia Effect with more of an editor's mind. Carefully, I studied my sentence structure, repetitious wording, and redundant sentences and found a way to recreate it into something that flowed better, but still got an important message across. There is nothing drastically different, no plot or character changes, so nothing has been sacrificed. I've now re-released it on Amazon, Smashwords and Createspace. The book is now available in paperback and ebook on most major book retail sites.

I sincerely thank ALL of my readers who loved the first edition and gave it such wonderful reviews. Without you and your support, I wouldn't have attempted Made in Sweden, or had the courage to refine The Nostalgia Effect. I hope you'll give it another read, or if you haven't read it yet, let me know and I'll get you a FREE ebook copy.

Be well my friends!

EJ

Made in Sweden-- COMING SOON!

After I wrote and finished The Nostalgia Effect, I was certain that I wouldn't write another book for quite a while afterwards. Well...I was wrong. Immediately upon finishing that one, another story started brewing in my head, and wouldn't stop until I put the words on paper.

With Kings of Leon playing on my Spotify, I sat down and let the music lead me to words, that led me to a story, that got me to the theme I'd been dreaming about -- I wanted people to read my book and have the desire to go to Sweden. Why? Because it's like a second home to me and regardless of what people might think of the "socialist" country, it will always be a place that my heart is deeply connected to.

Though only a portion of the book takes place in Sweden and the theme isn't entirely about going to Sweden or how Swedes leave, I wanted it to be an important part of the storyline.

So...what's the book about? Well, it's about life! You know how you think you know what your life is going to be like and then something happens and your plans change, then something else happens and your plans change again? Yep, it's about all that. Except for the fact that it's happening to a self-conscience, somewhat jaded, aspiring photographer named Julie. She decides to hop on a plane and escape her lackluster life in Portland to meet up with her long-term, musician boyfriend whose on tour in Europe.

Sounds fun, right? Sure! Well, that is until everything goes topsy-turvy and she finds herself in a situation she didn't anticipate. In the midst of this, she has a family tragedy that upsets the peace she'd managed to find in Sweden, thus forcing her to return home to the States. Now saddled with another upset in her life, additional circumstances force her to grow up quickly. But Julie must rise above and maintain focus to move forward.

It's a quick read, that is sure to entertain, while reminding you that life has it's ups and downs, but usually, in the end, it's always for the best. I hope you enjoy Made in Sweden.

EJ

"Faith"fully Excluded

It's possible that I am going to get an earful for this. I'm sure some readers will possibly be offended,  disagree and not understand how something as positive as faith in God, can be deemed negative. I apologize in advance if this upsets anyone, and I hope you will keep an open mind and respect my feelings. 

In the last two years a local Christian organization has sent young college students to my oldest child's middle school to become involved with students. This group is not specifically affiliated with one particular church, but their quest is simple and stated throughout their training manuals -- find youth and teach them about God. Help them become Christians and do this in various ways that will keep their interest. I've read several manuals from different states, and though the Pacific Northwest is a little less intense, the message is still the same....this worries me.

Let me be very clear on something -- I pray, and I pray to God. I believe in angels, miracles and heaven. I find there is comfort in a church, even if I don't attend as regularly as I used to growing up. I was baptized, I had First Communion and several after that. I'm not ignorant or uneducated in my understanding of religion and faith.

But I do have a problem with adult's that have no direct affiliation with a school or students attending it, come on school grounds and socialize with students for the purposes of recruiting them to join a religious "club". What's worse is that the public school district allows it, even though they are wavering on constitutional guidelines. Though I've been told that the school is open to ALL organizations to use their facility, I highly doubt that they would be as open to a Muslim, Morman, Jewish, or Jehova's Witness youth group coming in with the same intentions. 

The worst part in all of this, is that my child cannot get away from it. As if she doesn't have enough peer pressure to deal with (wearing the right clothes or shoes, having the right hairstyle and the right grades), she now has to worry about being the right religion to satisfy her peers. Recently, she stepped into the cafeteria at lunch time and found more than half of her friends gone. Many of them are now attending a weekly lunchtime bible study on school grounds. Parties and sleepover invitations have not been extended to her, because she's not interested in being a part of this youth group. This situation has made her feel judged, pressured and out of the loop. And even though her heart wasn't in it, she even contemplated joining just so she wouldn't be left out. Peer pressure is one of the worst reasons to join any sector of faith. 

In my opinion, faith is a very personal thing and when you obtain it, it should be authentic and pure. Religion shouldn't come with a training manual or a be part of a trend. Any group whose intention is to recruit for the purpose of spreading a strong religious message is concerning. And if it's sole focus is on children, then it concerns me even more.

I know what some of you might be thinking, "What's the problem? It's not like she has to go to the bible study." That's true, she doesn't. The bible study isn't the problem. The youth group isn't even the problem. The fact that my daughter and her peers are put into an uncomfortable position in a place that is supposed to be neutral and safe, is the problem. This is not just an activity or a sport that one can easily make an excuse not to be a part of. It's not so easy to say "no" at her age, to what many people believe is a positive and spiritual experience. But it's not that simple. Choosing to have faith in any religion is a very important decision that each person has the right to make. Is a public school really an appropriate setting to help influence someone in making that choice?

Be well my friends,


EJ

Another Year! Should I Be Worried?

I vividly remember crying alone in my bedroom the eve of my eighteenth birthday. Something about leaving childhood behind and becoming an actual adult had me feeling melancholy and nostalgic at the same time. The next day I was over it and the fun-filled day eased me into what would be the start of an adulthood that was tougher than I could have anticipated at that time. 

Then came the "twenty-oner". Rather than pub crawling with friends to commemorate my legal drinking age, I was five months pregnant, engaged and thought I knew exactly what the rest of my life was going to be like. I'd get married, have one or two more children, and live a humble, but fulfilling life.

By twenty-five I was technically twice divorced and starting over as a single mom. The formative early twenties that I'd skipped over by trying to be what I thought was an adult, knocked loudly on my door. They weren't letting up and insisted on taking me down a path of self-discovery, independence and self-reliance that I still appreciate and acknowledge to this day. 

The day I turned thirty, I started to panic a bit. I was newly married to a man that came across the world to be with me, I had a decent job, a plethora of friends and family -- what more could I ask for? What more could I need? Hadn't I accomplished most of what I'd hoped for at twenty-one? Sort of….I still wanted more, I just didn't know what. A sense of urgency started to take over to find out who I really was destined to be. Every year after that got a little easier, but a subtle trace of finding out who I was still lingered. 

Now today, on my thirty-fifth birthday (I know, I'm still considered young!) I look back at the last five years. Like a slideshow, it runs quickly through my mind in reverse, then forward to this moment where I sit in one of my favorite spots -- at my computer. The place that I get to share a piece of myself, with all of you. 

Truth is, the last five years has been pretty good to me. Between having another child, scary (but good) career changes and discovering a craft that speaks to my soul, the ability to appreciate what life has given me is stronger than it has ever been. Perhaps that's because I'm more aware of my mortality and how I can't take it for granted. OR maybe it’s because I’m getting older and my mind is forgetting all the bad stuff!

Surprisingly, I find myself welcoming this age and whatever it has planned for me with open arms and an open mind. Don't get me wrong, I have a variety of anti-aging creams, I'm hitting the gym at least four days a week, and facial exercises have become my new regimen (jowls....no thank you!). But I'm excited, because that slideshow in my head reveals to me that those ages I'd so been afraid of brought me change, (good and bad), wisdom (real wisdom, not arrogance) and many other blessings that I'm ever so grateful for. 

Am I scared about getting older? Not really. Am I worried about what's to come next? Nope, I'm actually excited! Even though gravity and my bones are starting to work against me, my mind is finally at peace. I've made it to some destination that at eighteen, twenty-one, twenty-five and thirty, wasn't on the map for what I thought would be my life. But that’s what so great about life....the magic of it happens over time rather than instantaneously. You just need good hindsight to see it. Hope you all get a little bit of magic soon!

Take care my friends,

EJ

FREE THIS WEEK!!!

In honor of my birthday week, is FREE all week. Get the Ebook here! https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...

Jennifer Nielsen awakens one morning to a life that doesn't belong to her. Thrown back eight years into a past she doesn't remember and again married to her ex-husband, she struggles to make sense of the situation. Longing to return to her current life with who she believes is her real husband and children, she seeks out answers -- and a way "back" -- wherever she can find them. Is she losing her mind? Did her other life ever exist? Or did she actually time travel? And if so, how will she get back and what will be sacrificed?

My Awesome Blog : Getting Involved -- It Takes A Village

My Awesome Blog : Getting Involved -- It Takes A Village: When I was in my senior year of high school, there was a school shooting in a town about 45 minutes away from where I lived. At the time...

Getting Involved -- It Takes A Village

When I was in my senior year of high school, there was a school shooting in a town about 45 minutes away from where I lived. At the time, one of my friends attended that school and was approximately ten feet away from the gunman. Luckily, the gunman was subdued quickly by some brave students, but only after injuring and killing a few others. Today another school shooting took place about an hour away from where I live. Unfortunately one student was killed and the shooter died as well. My initial desire was to go grab my child out of school and tell her summer starts early. Though we live in what is considered to be a safe community with lots of parental involvement, it doesn't mean that we are immune to this type of awful event. We aren't guaranteed that something like this can't happen here. Sad, but true.
It disturbs me that I'm now having conversations with my thirteen year-old and telling her to be careful who she interacts with. I don't want her to unwittingly upset an unbalanced peer who may later decide to have a vendetta against her. Isn't that awful? Doesn't that seem entirely unnatural and dark? It does to me, but unfortunately it's a sign of the times we live in now. When I was a kid, we were warned not to talk to strangers, and were wary of every van that drove slowly down the street. Never did I think my children would have to be afraid of a troubled kid carrying a backpack. Then I wonder, if it's this bad now, how will it be in ten more years when my youngest is in middle school?
Even after the incident happened when I was in high school, I didn't fear going to school, the mall, the theater or the post office. We didn't have security guards, metal detectors or awareness programs at our school. These occurrences were still few and far between, not like today, where it seems like it’s happening almost weekly. We also didn't have something else that I think too many kids have these days -- access. And I don’t mean just to weapons.
When I was growing up, we didn't have a plethora of online videos, chat rooms, interactive gaming, instant communication with possible strangers or much of what my children now have at their fingertips. Though I often tout these wonderful electronic creations for allowing me to speak with my family in other countries, or friends who I rarely see, I also find they have managed to overly-occupy and isolate a lot of us. Even more so, the generation that is preparing to take our place. At some point in their time, every generation will look at the generation following theirs and think, "What's happened to kid's these days? When I was that age....," all while shaking their heads. The future generation will just look ahead and scoff at the previous one for being "outdated."
But what we might fail to acknowledge or assume is accountability. We can point fingers, blame and shake our heads until the sun comes up, but it won't change anything. The most it will do is create more strife, further widening the gap between us and them. It's time for a change. We ALL have to do something.
I don't like living in fear. In fact, I've always been somewhat of a worry-wart. When I was young, this trait often prevented me from doing something adventurous in fear that I'd get hurt or in trouble. As I've gotten older, I have let some of that go and tried not to instill that in my children, though I admit it's unavoidable at times. Especially on days like today. Now here I am today, again perplexed over what to do as a parent and a member of society. Do I home school my kids? Do I quit my job, shelter them and potentially take away wonderful memories with their friends, sports and other activities to possibly prevent something that is most likely out of my control? Or do I pray for the best and hope my children and their classmates are forever spared such traumatic events?
After tossing around these thoughts and emotions for a while, I've come to one conclusion. I need to be aware. WEneed to be aware. I need to pay close attention to my children and their friends. Not because I'm afraid they are going to do something to harm someone else, but because I need to be a form of comfort, guidance and support. Life is MUCH more complicated for these kids in some facets, and easier in others. There is so much “out to get them,” yet they have everything available to them. It's sort of a vicious cycle. They have the ability to talk with their friends on video chat, yet any little embarrassing thing they do could be made public with a touch of a button, forever haunting them.
This is where we as parents, adults and society need to step in and take a more proactive approach. Remember the days where you knew your neighbors? I do. Remember when you knew your friends’ parents and they knew you? I do! Remember how most households seemed to operate the same way? Yes, the good old days. We've had many versions of them depending on when you grew up. But we have to stop living in the past. We have to realize that there are scary things going on in our children’s lives that they do not understand and cannot fully comprehend, right now. There's too much access to possibly harmful things and not enough access to mental help, support and safe places to go.
Most parents work full-time (like me and my husband), many children have split homes (mine included) and life can be hard to keep up with. It's an added pressure and we often find ourselves being crushed under the weight of those obligations while trying to be a good parent, spouse, friend, employee, etc. It's hard, believe me I know....it is so hard! But folks, if we don't take some accountability and start to change, we will fail our children and the generations to follow. There is a reason for the saying, "It takes a village," because it does. We need to be more involved with not just our children, but also their peers.
We need to stop worrying so much about crossing the line in other people's lives, because that one small act of asking someone if they need help, or pitching in, could make a big impact. You see that kid that goes home every day by himself and waits for his parents to get home? Is he lonely? Does he just sit on his computer all afternoon? Maybe you could offer him money to mow your lawn, start a conversation, let him know he's not alone. I remember knowing lots of parents who I liked. I always felt like there was someone else I could go to if I couldn't go to my parents. I need to do the same. We ALL need to do the same.
We need to stop blaming one source or the other: lifestyle, guns, technology, mental health. It's ALL connected. It ALL needs to be addressed. And each of us need to start doing a little to make a big change. We are getting complacent when it comes to the important parts of life and the things that really matter. We are so worried about being polite and stepping on each other’s toes that we don't speak up or act. We are isolating ourselves and in turn our children. And I am just as guilty of it.
It's hard to make a change. It's hard to break out of a pattern, but sooner or later we will have to do it in order to turn around the societal bad habits that are quickly forming. Fear of impoliteness, not being liked, or being too strict need to be tossed aside. We're the adults here, we are currently the ones in charge and we need to stop blaming each other and start helping one another. Not one parent wants to ever admit that they are doing something wrong in regards to raising their child. No parent ever wants to truly acknowledge that there might be something wrong with their kid mentally or emotionally. But some of us might have to. And we need to support those parents dealing with a troubled child rather than blame them.
It's a sad day here in Oregon. There have been a lot of sad days for many families who have fallen victim to someone who had a mental illness and access to a weapon that hurt others. Nobody wins in this situation, even if that person dies – thereby removing the immediate threat. What took place today was a scary and traumatic event for young students that still aren't old enough to know how to drive, pay bills, or vote. Therefore, it is still our responsibility to protect them from themselves.
I ask that parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, teachers, neighbors and family friends open your eyes. Look around you. Rather than be discouraged by the ways that society is failing, find your place in making it better.

Getting Involved -- It Takes A Village

When I was in my senior year of high school, there was a school shooting in a town about 45 minutes away from where I lived. At the time, one of my friends attended that school and was approximately ten feet away from the gunman. Luckily, the gunman was subdued quickly by some brave students, but only after injuring and killing a few others. Today another school shooting took place about an hour away from where I live. Unfortunately one student was killed and the shooter died as well. My initial desire was to go grab my child out of school and tell her summer starts early. Though we live in what is considered to be a safe community with lots of parental involvement, it doesn't mean that we are immune to this type of awful event. We aren't guaranteed that something like this can't happen here. Sad, but true.
It disturbs me that I'm now having conversations with my thirteen year-old and telling her to be careful who she interacts with. I don't want her to unwittingly upset an unbalanced peer who may later decide to have a vendetta against her. Isn't that awful? Doesn't that seem entirely unnatural and dark? It does to me, but unfortunately it's a sign of the times we live in now. When I was a kid, we were warned not to talk to strangers, and were wary of every van that drove slowly down the street. Never did I think my children would have to be afraid of a troubled kid carrying a backpack. Then I wonder, if it's this bad now, how will it be in ten more years when my youngest is in middle school?
Even after the incident happened when I was in high school, I didn't fear going to school, the mall, the theater or the post office. We didn't have security guards, metal detectors or awareness programs at our school. These occurrences were still few and far between, not like today, where it seems like it’s happening almost weekly. We also didn't have something else that I think too many kids have these days -- access. And I don’t mean just to weapons.
When I was growing up, we didn't have a plethora of online videos, chat rooms, interactive gaming, instant communication with possible strangers or much of what my children now have at their fingertips. Though I often tout these wonderful electronic creations for allowing me to speak with my family in other countries, or friends who I rarely see, I also find they have managed to overly-occupy and isolate a lot of us. Even more so, the generation that is preparing to take our place. At some point in their time, every generation will look at the generation following theirs and think, "What's happened to kid's these days? When I was that age....," all while shaking their heads. The future generation will just look ahead and scoff at the previous one for being "outdated."
But what we might fail to acknowledge or assume is accountability. We can point fingers, blame and shake our heads until the sun comes up, but it won't change anything. The most it will do is create more strife, further widening the gap between us and them. It's time for a change. We ALL have to do something.
I don't like living fear. In fact, I've always been somewhat of a worry-wart. When I was young, this trait often prevented me from doing something adventurous in fear that I'd get hurt or in trouble. As I've gotten older, I have let some of that go and tried not to instill that in my children, though I admit it's unavoidable at times. Especially on days like today. Now here I am today, again perplexed over what to do as a parent and a member of society. Do I home school my kids? Do I quit my job, shelter them and potentially take away wonderful memories with their friends, sports and other activities to possibly prevent something that is most likely out of my control? Or do I pray for the best and hope my children and their classmates are forever spared such traumatic events?
After tossing around these thoughts and emotions for a while, I've come to one conclusion. I need to be aware. WEneed to be aware. I need to pay close attention to my children and their friends. Not because I'm afraid they are going to do something to harm someone else, but because I need to be a form of comfort, guidance and support. Life is MUCH more complicated for these kids in some facets, and easier in others. There is so much “out to get them,” yet they have everything available to them. It's sort of a vicious cycle. They have the ability to talk with their friends on video chat, yet any little embarrassing thing they do could be made public with a touch of a button, forever haunting them.
This is where we as parents, adults and society need to step in and take a more proactive approach. Remember the days where you knew your neighbors? I do. Remember when you knew your friends’ parents and they knew you? I do! Remember how most households seemed to operate the same way? Yes, the good old days. We've had many versions of them depending on when you grew up. But we have to stop living in the past. We have to realize that there are scary things going on in our children’s lives that they do not understand and cannot fully comprehend, right now. There's too much access to possibly harmful things and not enough access to mental help, support and safe places to go.
Most parents work full-time (like me and my husband), many children have split homes (mine included) and life can be hard to keep up with. It's an added pressure and we often find ourselves being crushed under the weight of those obligations while trying to be a good parent, spouse, friend, employee, etc. It's hard, believe me I know....it is so hard! But folks, if we don't take some accountability and start to change, we will fail our children and the generations to follow. There is a reason for the saying, "It takes a village," because it does. We need to be more involved with not just our children, but also their peers.
We need to stop worrying so much about crossing the line in other people's lives, because that one small act of asking someone if they need help, or pitching in, could make a big impact. You see that kid that goes home every day by himself and waits for his parents to get home? Is he lonely? Does he just sit on his computer all afternoon? Maybe you could offer him money to mow your lawn, start a conversation, let him know he's not alone. I remember knowing lots of parents who I liked. I always felt like there was someone else I could go to if I couldn't go to my parents. I need to do the same. We ALL need to do the same.
We need to stop blaming one source or the other: lifestyle, guns, technology, mental health. It's ALL connected. It ALL needs to be addressed. And each of us need to start doing a little to make a big change. We are getting complacent when it comes to the important parts of life and the things that really matter. We are so worried about being polite and stepping on each other’s toes that we don't speak up or act. We are isolating ourselves and in turn our children. And I am just as guilty of it.
It's hard to make a change. It's hard to break out of a pattern, but sooner or later we will have to do it in order to turn around the societal bad habits that are quickly forming. Fear of impoliteness, not being liked, or being too strict need to be tossed aside. We're the adults here, we are currently the ones in charge and we need to stop blaming each other and start helping one another. Not one parent wants to ever admit that they are doing something wrong in regards to raising their child. No parent ever wants to truly acknowledge that there might be something wrong with their kid mentally or emotionally. But some of us might have to. And we need to support those parents dealing with a troubled child rather than blame them.
It's a sad day here in Oregon. There have been a lot of sad days for many families who have fallen victim to someone who had a mental illness and access to a weapon that hurt others. Nobody wins in this situation, even if that person dies – thereby removing the immediate threat. What took place today was a scary and traumatic event for young students that still aren't old enough to know how to drive, pay bills, or vote. Therefore, it is still our responsibility to protect them from themselves.
I ask that parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, teachers, neighbors and family friends open your eyes. Look around you. Rather than be discouraged by the ways that society is failing, find your place in making it better.