Christopher L. Hedges's Blog, page 16

A Little Tough Love (7/10/14)

Somewhere in Average Joe’s Story: Quest for Confidence I wrote that I prefer constructive criticism to glowing feedback. Mind you constructive criticism is offering up some opinion for improvement based on a perceived shortcoming, not hiding behind the anonymity of the Internet offering up malicious cheap shots.

I got some good insight from a book I was reading. Essentially the authors said that people don’t like to offer up criticism because they don’t like to be criticized themselves. I would like to insert one slight caveat to that, unless they can do it from the sanctuary of the shadows where they are free of responsibility and accountability of their actions.

So if you are like me, and actively seek out honest feedback according to this author you need to learn how to ask better questions. Don’t ask what am I doing wrong. Ask what can I do better. People are reluctant to give criticism, but they will freely offer advice.

If you are opposed to actively seeking out the tough love that comes with constructive criticism then you will be limited to the level of results that you are currently achieving. However, if you are willing to seek out and endure the tough love your results could skyrocket exponentially.

When No One’s Watching (7/9/14)

I picked up playing my favorite sport while I was living in Paris, and there is no place better to play it then sitting at a bistro on the Champs-Élysées with cup of coffee and a croque-monsieur. There is nothing I enjoy more than people watching when they are absorbed in their own little world completely oblivious to the world around them. It’s at that point in time you get to see who people really are.

It’s true that you get a more accurate representation of who a person really is by watching how they act compared to what they say, and there is no better way to study people than out in the wild in their natural environment. Spending 15 hours at Tampa International Airport with a sign greeting incoming guest for a conference was the perfect opportunity to observe the wildlife.

It was an interesting couple of days because the majority of people walked past me like I wasn’t even present. The advantage to being a wallflower is the passersby really are being their authentic selves, and I find it amazing the way some people will act when they think no one is paying attention.

Mentors in a New Light (7/8/14)

As I was reading today one of my biggest beliefs was challenged. The author brought up an interesting point, successful people could have succeeded in spite of their mentors not because of them. I’m a big fan of mentors, and I never even considered the authors point prior to reading his words. However, I should have at least considered it after an interaction I had with a friend/mentor of mine.

I was touching base with my buddy Jeff because we hadn’t spoken in a while and I had a question for him based on a subject he is a subject matter expert in. After I introduced Jeff to my idea he spent the next hour telling me all the reasons I couldn’t do it, why my logic was flawed, and how I would fail.

You see I already had my own personal example of this idea of succeeding in spite of a mentor in my life. Can I make some guarantee that I’m going to prove Jeff wrong? Absolutely not. In fact everything he said could be 100% accurate. However, if I believe what he had to say then I have already failed. That’s why the author said the key isn’t to have a mentor, but to have several mentors. That’s why I have people like Wes who have the opposite point of view. It’s about having diverse opinions from your mentors so that you get the best advise possible.

I heard the story of an author who was rejected by 143 publishers before one, that was going bankrupt, finally gave him a shot. His credit was overextended and he barely had enough cash to put gas in the car. Having everything working against him there was most definitely people in his life recommending he pack it all in. Well he didn’t listen. Before his book was even published he had 20,000 letters of intent to buy it, and over 15+ years Jack Canfield has sold over 500 million copies of the Chicken Soup for the Soul franchise. What if Jack had bought into what the first negative mentor told him to do? Where would he be now?

Why Do the Things We Do (7/7/14)

I do a lot of things in life that don’t make a lot of sense to most people. The best example may be a book tour that will take nearly a year to complete, and there is absolutely no way on earth I even break even. In all honesty I would have to sell close to 100,000 books to breakeven, and as a first time author I’d be lucky to sell 10,000 copies in my first year. The tour I concocted doesn’t make sense to many people, other than me.

Just like my tour doesn’t make sense to others it doesn’t make sense to me that there is no cell phone reception at the airport. Granted I know why there is limited cell phone reception. Tampa International is a steel reenforced concrete block that destroys radio signals. However, when you’re looking for someone in a couple hundred thousand square feet of terminal space cell phone reception to connect with a missing party would be a good thing. After spending 15 hours bouncing around baggage claims trying to rundown conferences guest with no cell phone reception I would rather spend 15 hours trying to heard cats in the prairies of the Midwest.

I would think that the airport would want to find a way to boost reception for their customers, but there may be logical rational for not doing so, that I can’t see, just like most people can’t see why I would go on this book tour.

Assumptions (7/4/14)

I’m predominantly a pacifist, and I find that amusing because left to my own devices I’m actually extremely aggressive by nature. I’m not going to go into why I would just as soon walk away from war, but I will say I’m highly supportive of the men and women who choose to serve in some capacity. I find their willingness to be of service to their country very honorable. Even though I don’t believe in War I did talk to a Marine recruiter about entering OCS after I finished school. He informed me I had some medical issues that would more than likely preclude me from enlisting, and it may have been for the best because I don’t think I would have made a very good soldier.

I bring this up not just because of the date, but because I recently came across a man claiming to be a veteran. Normally I try not to jump to conclusions because you know what you get when you assume, an Ass out of U and Me. I stood by and listened to this man give me his spiel. The problem with his claim was he was 15 miles out of his way in the wrong direction for it to be accurate. Now I didn’t want to assume he was lying to me even though he was, but he most definitely assumed I would hand him money. To be honest he may have been better off telling me the truth. I may have been more likely to give him something based on his honesty, but we will never know because he jumped to a conclusion before he ever said a word to me.

Finding a Way Through It (7/3/14)

When I think about everything this book tour represents it shoots past daunting straight to impossible. 20,700+ miles visiting 139 cities in two countries over a 10 month period. It’s a journey of enlightenment, connection, and possibilities that will challenge my body, mind and soul. If I can somehow manage to complete this grueling endeavor it will signify that I have finally managed to overcome the health condition that has been my nemesis for the past nine years.

This journey can’t be taken lightly, and as such I have been pushing myself on a daily basis to ensure my body won’t give out, leaving me stranded in some remote city. I took it up a notch recently to see how my body would cope, and believe me the results were not good. In two days I gave two speeches and stood at Tampa International Airport as a greater. How arduous could that really be? When I got home on the second day I collapsed and passed out on the tile floor. I couldn’t make it up stairs to my bed because of muscle spasms I was experiencing in my back and legs. I spent the next day trying to flush out a GI blockage, and the day after that was spent re-hydrating from all the fluid I lost.

I had a problem making it through two consecutive days, and I’m going to some how miraculously make it through 300+/-… I have only had one challenge in my life that winning was the only option. When my doctor all but gave up on me winning was the only option because anything short of winning was basically a really long dirt nap.

That two day stretch reenforced how badly I needed to rediscover that mindset that got me through those dark days. Originally I had planned to shave my head so that I could reconnect with my Mr Clean chemo days, but a friend talked me out of it. So I settled with submitting my application to the Guinness Book of World Records for longest book tour. Granted Guinness isn’t a matter of life or death, but hopefully the magnitude of setting the record will be enough to keep me chugging along.

Liked vs Loathed (7/2/14)

I know that I have talked about the lengths I would go for people I like. In all honesty there probably isn’t too much I wouldn’t do for someone I found to be likeable. Now I want to visit the opposite end of the spectrum. I want to speak about the lengths I would go for someone I didn’t like.

During my extended stay in the wonderful world of healthcare I have had great doctors and terrible doctors. Some doctors I liked and others I loathed. I have a doctor that I liked and as a result he probably got away with malpractice for not disclosing all the facts that resulted in me making an uninformed decision that has had a major negative effect on my life. I also, very briefly, had a doctor I loathed. He was a pompous self-aggrandizing jerk that if he was flailing about in open water I would be the first person to throw him an anchor.

First I waited a month for an appointment with this doctor because he came recommended from a family friend. Less than 24 hours before my appointment he rescheduled my visit for two weeks later because he wasn’t feeling well and that would be his first opening. When I did get to my appointment he was only 1:45 minutes late and 13 minutes of my 17 minute appointment he spent on the phone talking to either his lawyer, realtor, or banker. So for the 4 minutes he actually spent insulting and demeaning me I was charged give or take $700.00.

I only thought about Dr Customer Service today because I just got my first invoice from his office for service, if you can call it that, rendered saying my account was delinquent. Considering this was the first invoice I had been sent I found it absurd that it should be worded the way that it was. If I could find a way to have the state suspend or better yet revoke his license I would. Seeings as that is unlikely I will do my best to have him immortalized as a disgrace to the profession he most definitely does not deserve to be a part of.

I might go out of my way to help someone I like, but I guarantee you I would walk on water to destroy someone I loathed.

Fixate on Strength or Weakness (7/1/14)

Early on in the writing of Average Joe’s Story a friend of mine and I were talking about strengths and weaknesses. Her point to me was you can’t be great at everything. Work to improve your shortcomings, but focus on your strengths. Logically that makes sense.

When I flew out to LA for Author 101, a writers conference, I knew what I was going to spend money, and I wasn’t going to buy another thing. I wasn’t going to invest one more penny than I had to. Well I spent about 700,000 more pennies than I wanted to, and I think it was one of the best investments I ever made. I hired an image and branding coach.

You see I describe myself the same way David Hancock has described himself to me in the past…”I have a face made for radio.” I invested the money on Starley Murray because of my aversion to TV. If I had taken my friends advice I would have not spent the money on Starley, and just dealt with TV when it came up. The problem with that is I would have had a terrible showing and reenforced my preexisting negative attitudes to a medium that any public figure needs to embrace.

I choose to not just work on my weaknesses, but fixate on them. I don’t want to camouflage my weaknesses with a little polish, I want to completely eradicate them. Will I ever be a celebrity image and branding expert? No, but by focusing on my weaknesses I might end up being one of those celebrities Starley works with. You can do as you will, but for me I see more growth potential by focusing on my weaknesses, and that is the path that I’m going to take.

Go to the Pool (6/30/14)

The #1 cause of death for children in Florida is drowning. The state has over 1,300 miles of beach front property, in excess of 30,000 lakes, and God only knows how many swimming pools and hot tubs. Drowning is basically a threat based on opportunity, and that is why the Kiwanis club I attend offers a free swim class every year during the summer.

That swim class is one of the few things I can do because there is no real stress placed on my core. Being there I realized the importance of actually getting out and being a part of the community as an author. As of this writing this blog may get no traffic except an SEO marketing company that likes to tell me how everything I’m doing is wrong, and I’m cool with that. I really only started writing a blog after three markets, a web designer, my publisher, and a handful of friends told me I needed one.

However, while I was treading water in the treacherous kiddie pool, working on tanning my pasty white torso, one of the other instructors asked me to remind her what my blog was called. The only reason she even knows about it is because we talked in between showing the future Olympians how to pull through the water using big arms with giant ice cream scoops and breath to the side after blowing bubbles under water.

People want to buy from, associate with, and just be around people they like for one reason or another. The best way for someone to get to know you is to meet you. A 500 word bio, a book about you, or some video streaming online doesn’t encapsulate who you really are. Going out and meeting people at their venues lets people really get to know you, that is the best way to create fans, and that is the central purpose of doing a 20,000 or so mile book tour.

Know Where Growth Comes From (6/27/14)

As August 5th slowly grows closer and closer my anxiety level climbs higher and higher. If you want to experience great results you need to actively seek out opportunities like this. I’m not saying organize a 10 month road trip where you have to juggle finances, the timing of the weather, and the most efficient route possible…that would just be crazy. However, that feeling of anxiety that boils up from the pit of your stomach is exactly what you are looking for.

In order to thrive, at whatever it is you do, you need to be willing to take up residence in a town called uncomfortable. Uncomfortable lies just outside of your comfort zone, and it’s the place where growth originates. Your discomfort level comes from the fact that you’re weak at whatever makes you uncomfortable.

Fortunately if you are willing to actively work at being uncomfortable, just like any other muscle in your body, you will experience growth. Your comfort zone will grow, and the results you will be capable of achieving will too. With consistent growth what once would have petrified you with fear is now just a minor nuisance that you need to get accomplished before breakfast. The fastest road to success is getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.