Rebecca Yarros's Blog
May 19, 2016
New Website!
I've moved!!!
Want more blog action? Be sure to head over to www.RebeccaYarros.com!
Www.RebeccaYarros.com
Want more blog action? Be sure to head over to www.RebeccaYarros.com!
Www.RebeccaYarros.com
December 6, 2015
The New Girl Among Boys. For Realsies.
Annnnnnd we're back!
Outside the Jefferson County Courthouse with our newest Yarros!
(Kristen Charles Photography)
Where have I been, you might ask?
Ummm.... well, right here.
Kind of. It's complicated.
Man, it's been so long since I've written a blog that I can't even remember where I left you off... let's go back and peek, shall we? Holy cow. It's been a year since I've posted a personal blog that wasn't literary-related. Now some of you are here because I write these books now, and maybe you're thinking, "Hey, she has a blog?" And the other half are here saying, "Dude, where have you been?"
For the first group, yes, I have a blog. This blog was my literary safe haven long before I started the Flight & Glory Series, or Aeolian, or heck... anything else, really. This was my safe place to laugh about the insanity of our life, to vent out my frustration, to kind of peek into the raw, real life of being a military wife. It's not always pretty, but it's always ours.
For the second group, I'm so sorry I've been away for so long.
Yes, the blog is back. I probably won't keep it as current as I used to. Honestly, the whole book-writing thing has taken over every ounce of time that I don't devote to my kiddos. And this is the shortest version I can manage of what's happened over the last couple years.
Why have I been gone? Because my safe haven became one of the biggest liabilities to keeping our daughter.
Maybe one day I'll actually write about this process we just endured. Maybe one day I'll be strong enough to really expose what has easily been one of the best and worst periods of our life. But for now...now I'm too raw. Every nerve is still exposed, every cut, burn, and gaping wound just barely scabbed enough to function, and though she's adopted now, and officially a Yarros, we've lived with fear for so long that we're both adjusting to taking deep breaths again.
So here's the cliff-notes version. ;)
A couple of years ago, I posted this: http://theonlygirlamongboys.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-new-girl-among-boys.html
The baby we'd waited two years for had arrived during Jason's fourth deployment (this time to Afghanistan), and we officially became foster parents to Princess Pumpkin.
"Don't get attached," they said. "It's only for a month," they said. We were only keeping her while her mother got on her feet, and the father wasn't in the picture.
But the minute I saw her in the parking lot of our hockey rink, where DSS dropped her off to us, I looked in those blue eyes and I simply knew...
She was ours.
So Iron Man and I snapped a picture to show Daddy the present who had just arrived...
And The Hulk lost his heart when he skated off the ice and took one glimpse at her.
And then...she stayed.So we took her Six Month pictures.
And she stayed and became "The Hockey Baby" to our Watertown Rapids hockey family.
And she learned it was easiest to just sleep through practice...
And she learned that in this house, we drive hours to cheer on Colorado College at an away game:
"Don't get attached," they said. "It's such a long road, and you're at the beginning."
But a month in, it felt like she'd always been here. Always been ours. We watched the lights turn on behind her eyes, watched her come to life with kisses, and hugs, and the over-excitement of having four big brothers.
She learned who daddy was in the tradition of a military brat: Through Skype calls and Daddy dolls.
And she stayed, so we spoiled her with Christmas Presents.
And then her other biological parent came out of nowhere... And everything suddenly became very uncertain.
"We don't know what will happen," her social worker (who seriously must have had a previous life as a gladiator, she is that fierce in defense of our Little Miss) told us.
But she stayed, and though she'd waited her whole tiny life, she finally met her daddy:
And though things were crazy, and we were scared out of our minds of losing our daughter...
She stayed.
So we went on vacation to the Outer Banks.
And we soaked up our family time, knowing that court dates were in motion. That there was every chance she'd be leaving us.
But then...
She stayed.
And court dates came... visits changed... But she stayed.
And the next thing we knew, our Little Miss turned One.
Yes, I actually made that cake.
You're going DOWN, Snow White.Easter came, and she was here.
And we fell deeper and deeper in love with this little girl who may not have been made of our flesh, but she was of our heart.
And though we were constantly told that there was the highest of possibilities she'd leave us eventually...she stayed.
Summer came, went, and Fall was upon us.As is life with the military, Jason came down on orders to Fort Carson. HOME.Our final duty station where we would retire, and we were forced with a choice.We could put Little Miss back into foster care, and move to Colorado, coming back if she were ever legally freed for adoption...
Or we could split our family and stay.
So I wrote this: http://theonlygirlamongboys.blogspot.com/2014/09/the-unthinkable.html
We did what's pretty public knowledge and split our family.
Because there was quite simply No other choice to make.
There was no way we were leaving New York without our daughter.
So we savored what time we had together.
We passed her Year mark in foster care, which gave us legal standing...a somewhat fancy word meaning that we had the first right to adopt her if she couldn't return to her biological parents.
But she stayed.
Halloween came, and she fit right in with our Superheroes as the Green Arrow. ;)
Hockey started up again. She started teething on pucks. But she stayed.
Then I did something I couldn't believe.
I shut the blog down.
Why? Because a friend of ours had gone through the foster process and during their final hearing, her blog had been brought out as evidence against her, that they'd wanted their child too badly.
Yeah, blink a few times and read that again.
I love this blog, I always have...but I love my daughter more. So I shut it down, even though it was quite possibly one of the worst things I could have done for my career. Because at the end of the day, I would have traded every book deal, every signing, every time I held my paperback, just to keep our daughter.
So I shut it down.
Thanksgiving passed.
EYES TURNED SKYWARD released, which I quite fittingly dedicated to her, because even if she didn't stay, I needed her to be able to look back one day and see that she'd been worth every second, every heartbeat, every risk.
Christmas was joyful!
And the months...they went by so quickly, yet the weeks dragged as we waited for monthly court dates, changes, constantly told that we didn't know what would happen. That we weren't guaranteed anything, and though she'd been with us for almost a year and a half, there was every possibility that she wouldn't grow up with us. In fact, heading into that next permanency hearing, they told us to expect that she would be kept in care another year or more.
I won't go into the hearing, or the fear that closed my throat when they put me on the stand to testify. But at the end of the hearing, the judge shocked us and agreed to move her toward adoption.
Three weeks later, Jason had to go. The military had delayed his orders as long as possible, but he was needed at Fort Carson, and he went.
So the kids started the nightly Skype:
And she stayed with us.
Every day was counted. We were blessed every single second she was with us.
And then turned Two:
And Jason visited when he could, mostly when I had to be out of town at signings so that Little Miss didn't have to go into Foster Care. And the minute those two were in the same room...peas and carrots. She only has eyes for him.
SuperGirl graduated High School. We spent the summer waiting to schedule court dates, get court dates and attend court dates. We literally hung in limbo, living 1800 miles apart, not knowing if the termination hearing would go our way, or if she'd be kept in foster care even longer.
The Fall came, and we brought Little Miss to Colorado so we could drop SuperGirl off to College, and the sneak peek into what our life could be, all together in one state, was almost too much.
So we headed back to NY to spend our last months apart.
I can't explain to you the fear of those months, the constant gnawing in my stomach that we'd lose our precious daughter.
We both bargained with God.
I told Him I wouldn't care if the new book release failed, if the contract I was waiting on didn't come through, if the house didn't sell.
Jason said he didn't care if he didn't make the promotion list.
We would have given anything to make sure she stayed.
They told us going in to the hearing that there was no guarantee we'd win.
No guarantee that we'd walk out of that courtroom one step closer to a permanent solution for this little girl who had been in foster care for exactly one day longer than two years...81% of her tiny little life.
We were terrified.
Even with every skill I have as a writer, I can't adequately explain the gamut of emotion we ran that day, even the sobs that I couldn't swallow when our social worker told us that it was over—that she was ours.
With every odd against her, after fighting for our Little Miss for two years,
She stayed.
After the fastest adoption in the history of Jefferson County, a rushed move to Colorado, and an NTC rotation for Jason, 2 1/2 months after that Termination Hearing, we're finally all together in one state and under one roof, readying to move into our new home, where we will simply...live.
No fear.Just love.
Oh, and 2 years after her first Colorado College game in New York...
She finally saw them on home ice in Colorado Springs.
With her goofball brothers, of course...
This Thanksgiving was spent in Colorado, so incredibly grateful for the biggest blessing in our life: We're finally officially, legally declared what we've always known.
We are a family.
Welcome to the family, Little Miss Yarros.
Looks like I'm not really
the Only Girl Among Boys.
You are.
Outside the Jefferson County Courthouse with our newest Yarros!(Kristen Charles Photography)
Where have I been, you might ask?
Ummm.... well, right here.
Kind of. It's complicated.
Man, it's been so long since I've written a blog that I can't even remember where I left you off... let's go back and peek, shall we? Holy cow. It's been a year since I've posted a personal blog that wasn't literary-related. Now some of you are here because I write these books now, and maybe you're thinking, "Hey, she has a blog?" And the other half are here saying, "Dude, where have you been?"
For the first group, yes, I have a blog. This blog was my literary safe haven long before I started the Flight & Glory Series, or Aeolian, or heck... anything else, really. This was my safe place to laugh about the insanity of our life, to vent out my frustration, to kind of peek into the raw, real life of being a military wife. It's not always pretty, but it's always ours.
For the second group, I'm so sorry I've been away for so long.
Yes, the blog is back. I probably won't keep it as current as I used to. Honestly, the whole book-writing thing has taken over every ounce of time that I don't devote to my kiddos. And this is the shortest version I can manage of what's happened over the last couple years.
Why have I been gone? Because my safe haven became one of the biggest liabilities to keeping our daughter.
Maybe one day I'll actually write about this process we just endured. Maybe one day I'll be strong enough to really expose what has easily been one of the best and worst periods of our life. But for now...now I'm too raw. Every nerve is still exposed, every cut, burn, and gaping wound just barely scabbed enough to function, and though she's adopted now, and officially a Yarros, we've lived with fear for so long that we're both adjusting to taking deep breaths again.
So here's the cliff-notes version. ;)
A couple of years ago, I posted this: http://theonlygirlamongboys.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-new-girl-among-boys.html
The baby we'd waited two years for had arrived during Jason's fourth deployment (this time to Afghanistan), and we officially became foster parents to Princess Pumpkin.
"Don't get attached," they said. "It's only for a month," they said. We were only keeping her while her mother got on her feet, and the father wasn't in the picture.
But the minute I saw her in the parking lot of our hockey rink, where DSS dropped her off to us, I looked in those blue eyes and I simply knew...
She was ours.
So Iron Man and I snapped a picture to show Daddy the present who had just arrived...
And The Hulk lost his heart when he skated off the ice and took one glimpse at her.
And then...she stayed.So we took her Six Month pictures.
And she stayed and became "The Hockey Baby" to our Watertown Rapids hockey family.
And she learned it was easiest to just sleep through practice...
And she learned that in this house, we drive hours to cheer on Colorado College at an away game:
"Don't get attached," they said. "It's such a long road, and you're at the beginning."
But a month in, it felt like she'd always been here. Always been ours. We watched the lights turn on behind her eyes, watched her come to life with kisses, and hugs, and the over-excitement of having four big brothers.
She learned who daddy was in the tradition of a military brat: Through Skype calls and Daddy dolls.
And she stayed, so we spoiled her with Christmas Presents.
And then her other biological parent came out of nowhere... And everything suddenly became very uncertain.
"We don't know what will happen," her social worker (who seriously must have had a previous life as a gladiator, she is that fierce in defense of our Little Miss) told us.
But she stayed, and though she'd waited her whole tiny life, she finally met her daddy:
And though things were crazy, and we were scared out of our minds of losing our daughter...
She stayed.
So we went on vacation to the Outer Banks.
And we soaked up our family time, knowing that court dates were in motion. That there was every chance she'd be leaving us.But then...
She stayed.
And court dates came... visits changed... But she stayed.
And the next thing we knew, our Little Miss turned One.
Yes, I actually made that cake. 
You're going DOWN, Snow White.Easter came, and she was here.
And we fell deeper and deeper in love with this little girl who may not have been made of our flesh, but she was of our heart.
And though we were constantly told that there was the highest of possibilities she'd leave us eventually...she stayed.
Summer came, went, and Fall was upon us.As is life with the military, Jason came down on orders to Fort Carson. HOME.Our final duty station where we would retire, and we were forced with a choice.We could put Little Miss back into foster care, and move to Colorado, coming back if she were ever legally freed for adoption...Or we could split our family and stay.
So I wrote this: http://theonlygirlamongboys.blogspot.com/2014/09/the-unthinkable.html
We did what's pretty public knowledge and split our family.
Because there was quite simply No other choice to make.
There was no way we were leaving New York without our daughter.
So we savored what time we had together.
We passed her Year mark in foster care, which gave us legal standing...a somewhat fancy word meaning that we had the first right to adopt her if she couldn't return to her biological parents.
But she stayed.
Halloween came, and she fit right in with our Superheroes as the Green Arrow. ;)
Hockey started up again. She started teething on pucks. But she stayed.
Then I did something I couldn't believe.
I shut the blog down.
Why? Because a friend of ours had gone through the foster process and during their final hearing, her blog had been brought out as evidence against her, that they'd wanted their child too badly.
Yeah, blink a few times and read that again.
I love this blog, I always have...but I love my daughter more. So I shut it down, even though it was quite possibly one of the worst things I could have done for my career. Because at the end of the day, I would have traded every book deal, every signing, every time I held my paperback, just to keep our daughter.
So I shut it down.
Thanksgiving passed.
EYES TURNED SKYWARD released, which I quite fittingly dedicated to her, because even if she didn't stay, I needed her to be able to look back one day and see that she'd been worth every second, every heartbeat, every risk.
Christmas was joyful!
And the months...they went by so quickly, yet the weeks dragged as we waited for monthly court dates, changes, constantly told that we didn't know what would happen. That we weren't guaranteed anything, and though she'd been with us for almost a year and a half, there was every possibility that she wouldn't grow up with us. In fact, heading into that next permanency hearing, they told us to expect that she would be kept in care another year or more.
I won't go into the hearing, or the fear that closed my throat when they put me on the stand to testify. But at the end of the hearing, the judge shocked us and agreed to move her toward adoption.
Three weeks later, Jason had to go. The military had delayed his orders as long as possible, but he was needed at Fort Carson, and he went.
So the kids started the nightly Skype:
And she stayed with us.
Every day was counted. We were blessed every single second she was with us.
And then turned Two:
And Jason visited when he could, mostly when I had to be out of town at signings so that Little Miss didn't have to go into Foster Care. And the minute those two were in the same room...peas and carrots. She only has eyes for him.
SuperGirl graduated High School. We spent the summer waiting to schedule court dates, get court dates and attend court dates. We literally hung in limbo, living 1800 miles apart, not knowing if the termination hearing would go our way, or if she'd be kept in foster care even longer.
The Fall came, and we brought Little Miss to Colorado so we could drop SuperGirl off to College, and the sneak peek into what our life could be, all together in one state, was almost too much.
So we headed back to NY to spend our last months apart.
I can't explain to you the fear of those months, the constant gnawing in my stomach that we'd lose our precious daughter.
We both bargained with God.
I told Him I wouldn't care if the new book release failed, if the contract I was waiting on didn't come through, if the house didn't sell.
Jason said he didn't care if he didn't make the promotion list.
We would have given anything to make sure she stayed.
They told us going in to the hearing that there was no guarantee we'd win.
No guarantee that we'd walk out of that courtroom one step closer to a permanent solution for this little girl who had been in foster care for exactly one day longer than two years...81% of her tiny little life.
We were terrified.
Even with every skill I have as a writer, I can't adequately explain the gamut of emotion we ran that day, even the sobs that I couldn't swallow when our social worker told us that it was over—that she was ours.
With every odd against her, after fighting for our Little Miss for two years,
She stayed.
After the fastest adoption in the history of Jefferson County, a rushed move to Colorado, and an NTC rotation for Jason, 2 1/2 months after that Termination Hearing, we're finally all together in one state and under one roof, readying to move into our new home, where we will simply...live.
No fear.Just love.
Oh, and 2 years after her first Colorado College game in New York...
She finally saw them on home ice in Colorado Springs.
With her goofball brothers, of course...This Thanksgiving was spent in Colorado, so incredibly grateful for the biggest blessing in our life: We're finally officially, legally declared what we've always known.
We are a family.
Welcome to the family, Little Miss Yarros.
Looks like I'm not really
the Only Girl Among Boys.
You are.
March 23, 2015
Cover Reveal - Trisha Leaver's SWEET MADNESS
SWEET MADNESS
Coming September 18, 2015 from Merit Press
Lizzie Borden took an axe,And gave her mother forty whacks.When she saw what she had done,She gave her father forty one.
BLURB: Who was Lizzie Borden? A confused young woman, or a cold-hearted killer? For generations, people all over the world have wondered how Andrew Borden and his second wife, Abby, met their gruesome deaths. Lizzie, Andrew’s younger daughter, was charged, but a jury took only 90 minutes to find her not guilty. In this retelling, the family maid, Bridget Sullivan, shines a compassionate light on a young woman oppressed by her cheap father and her ambitious stepmother. Was Lizzie mad, or was she driven to madness?
Mark it to read on GoodreadsPreorder Sweet Madness:AmazonBarnes and Noble
ABOUT THE AUTHORS:
Trisha Leaver lives on Cape Cod with her husband, three children, and one rather irreverent black lab. She is a chronic daydreamer who prefers the cozy confines of her own imagination to the mundane routine of everyday life. She writes Young Adult Contemporary fiction, Psychological Horror and Science Fiction and is published with FSG/ Macmillan, Flux/Llewellyn and Merit Press. To can learn more about Trisha’s books, upcoming shenanigans, and her quest to reel in the perfect tuna, please visit her website: www.trishaleaver.com
Twitter
Instagram
Facebook
Tumblr
Lindsay Currie lives in Chicago with her three awesome children, husband, and a one hundred and sixty pound lap dog named Sam. She has an unnatural fondness for coffee, chocolate and things that go bump in the night. She spends her days curled up in the comfortable confines of her writing nook, penning young adult psychological horror, contemporary fiction and science-fiction and is published with Flux/Llewellyn, Merit Press and Spencer Hill Contemporary. Learn more about her at www.lindsaycurrie.comTwitterInstagramFacebook:
To celebrate, we are giving away four AMAZING books from our publisher Merit Press.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Lizzie Borden took an axe,And gave her mother forty whacks.When she saw what she had done,She gave her father forty one.
BLURB: Who was Lizzie Borden? A confused young woman, or a cold-hearted killer? For generations, people all over the world have wondered how Andrew Borden and his second wife, Abby, met their gruesome deaths. Lizzie, Andrew’s younger daughter, was charged, but a jury took only 90 minutes to find her not guilty. In this retelling, the family maid, Bridget Sullivan, shines a compassionate light on a young woman oppressed by her cheap father and her ambitious stepmother. Was Lizzie mad, or was she driven to madness?
Mark it to read on GoodreadsPreorder Sweet Madness:AmazonBarnes and Noble
ABOUT THE AUTHORS:
Trisha Leaver lives on Cape Cod with her husband, three children, and one rather irreverent black lab. She is a chronic daydreamer who prefers the cozy confines of her own imagination to the mundane routine of everyday life. She writes Young Adult Contemporary fiction, Psychological Horror and Science Fiction and is published with FSG/ Macmillan, Flux/Llewellyn and Merit Press. To can learn more about Trisha’s books, upcoming shenanigans, and her quest to reel in the perfect tuna, please visit her website: www.trishaleaver.comTumblr
Lindsay Currie lives in Chicago with her three awesome children, husband, and a one hundred and sixty pound lap dog named Sam. She has an unnatural fondness for coffee, chocolate and things that go bump in the night. She spends her days curled up in the comfortable confines of her writing nook, penning young adult psychological horror, contemporary fiction and science-fiction and is published with Flux/Llewellyn, Merit Press and Spencer Hill Contemporary. Learn more about her at www.lindsaycurrie.comTwitterInstagramFacebook: To celebrate, we are giving away four AMAZING books from our publisher Merit Press.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
February 1, 2015
What's in a Name?›
Hiya peeps! Miss me?
I miss the blog. I really do. I promise, as soon as our Little Miss' legal future starts to clear up, I'll be back at it. Until then, well... we're keeping pretty quiet on the blog front.
She's worth it.
Right.
So, now that Eyes Turned Skyward is out, you guys have flipping blown me away with the incredible response. Seriously. I'm incredibly thankful for everyone who buys my books!!!! (Especially since you help my boys play hockey, and our oldest daughter to attend college next year).
Okay, so now that I'm all misty... my fantastic editor and I decided we'd better name this here series, since there's two more books coming.
Sigh. Aren't they pretty side-by-side???
What's in a name? I can tell you a lot, and I'm not easy. My titles are always interwoven into the book, and I never know them until I'm about 1/2 way through a manuscript, so trying to make the titles all matchy-matchy was never going to work for me. Man, it would have made it easier to name the series.
So we started throwing around names. And by "we," I mean my editor, my team of publicists, my trusted CP's and my poor husband who probably never wants to discuss the topic again. We came up with everything super-serious to downright hilarious.
I wanted something really meaningful.
We've been stationed here at Fort Drum for nearly five years, and the 10th Combat Aviation Brigade has been Jason's home for our stay. He's completed two of his four deployments with them, and I really wanted to honor that and our time here, where I've written these books, before we move home to Colorado. After all, when a series involves hot helicopter pilots, how could I not?
So I thought of the motto of the 10th Cab.
Fly to Glory.
So here's to Fort Drum, Army Aviation, and the 10th Cab.
Oh, and the series, that too! ;)
Thank you to everyone who has supported the series and our family. You guys rock my socks and I'm insanely thankful for each and every one of you!
Oh, and one last reminder that Apaches are pretty damn sexy.
I guess I'd better get back to Grayson... so the next Flight & Glory Novel can get into your hands. ;)
December 7, 2014
Confessions of a Do-Not-Contact
Man it's been a while, did you miss me? I sure missed you. I have a little bitty lull in this insane publishing dream I'm chasing before Eyes Turned Skyward comes out tomorrow, and this has been on my mind for the last few months, so let's do this.
Dear Do-Not-Contact,
I'm so sorry for judging you.
You see, I didn't get it. I've been an army wife about thirteen years now, and it's taken me this long to understand why you marked that little Do-Not-Contact box.
When I was younger, fresher, not worn down by quite so many deployments, I led my first FRG. To this day, it's the volunteer position I'm most proud of. I remember seeing the boxes on the FRG form marked "Do Not Contact," and just shaking my head. Why would they mark that? We were headed into another deployment to Iraq, didn't they want the information? Or the camaraderie? The family? We were doing amazing things, how could they not want to be a part of that?
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
Let me start by saying that I'm not a "Do-not-Contact," but I am as withdrawn from the military life as I've ever been. I haven't had personal contact from my FRG in five months, and you know what? I'm okay with it. Jason has been TDY for over two months now, so the most camo I've seen has been if one of the neighbors comes to the bus stop in uniform. I feel completely, totally separate from the world that's been part of who I am for so long.
Why am I not as involved? A few reasons. The first, is that we're PCS'ing... if only we could figure out when. So in many ways, I've emotionally checked out of Fort Drum, just waiting to pick up our family and move again. Two? Co-leading this last FRG burned me out to where the tiniest flicker of energy remained, and I'm guarding it, tending that little flame until it can come back to roaring life. Three? We have four boys in hockey, Little Miss has some high-needs that require therapists, and my career is taking flight faster than I ever thought possible... I have to concentrate on the immediate needs of my family.
So I haven't made cookies for a bake sale, or run an FRG meeting, or heck, even attended one in months. I haven't gone to a Ball (since he's not here), or planned a fundraiser. My role in army-wifedom is the opposite of what it was a year ago. But want to know something?
I'm still an Army Wife.
I'm holding down the fort solo, holding the pieces together until he gets home. I'm still listening to his day, still picking up boot blousers from random places. I'm at the same duty station, with same unit, and the same waning (due to PCS) support system. I've realized something precious over the last few months that I've been hermitting: being inactive in your FRG doesn't make you any less of an Army Wife. Hell, maybe it makes you more sane. I know it has for me.
Pulling away is okay. Yes, we're army wives, but we're more, right? We're doctors, lawyers, authors, business women, saleswomen, teachers, moms... you name it. We're so much more than the one label of "Army Wife." So if you need to step back from that one area of your life so you can balance the rest, I get it. I'm there too. And I'm so sorry for judging you when I wasn't in your shoes before.
I love my husband more than coffee, chocolate, heck... even air. He's my entire world. I love the army life. I love the formals, the meetings, the support network of wives, the sisterhood that grows during deployments and lasts your whole life. But I also love my sanity.
So maybe you're overwhelmed. Maybe you've been at your limit for so long that one more commitment might push you over the edge. Maybe your time is already spoken for. Heck, maybe you just don't feel like it. Whatever your reason is, it's valid. You're valid. Your career is just as valuable as his, just as worthy (or more-so) of your devotion. Go ahead, mark the box. Take one more thing off your plate so you have room for everything else.
I'm learning, one small step at a time, that my career is just as important as his to our family. It's a shift in mentality that has taken this whole last year to make. Thank God he understands and is my number one fan. I couldn't do any of this without him, as much as I know he couldn't do what he does without me. We're a team.
I'm still an Army Wife, but I'm letting others run the show while I hold our family together during what may be the most stressful period of our life. I haven't checked the Do-Not-Contact box yet, but I understand if you do. I support you. I love you.
Spin your plates, tend your career, your children, your sanity. Keep your love of our military life alive, and if you're ready to jump back in, to volunteer, to run the show... well, then it will be someone else's turn to step back and breathe.
We all need the air. The break. The chance to see who we are past the "proud Army Wife" label.
By the time we get to Colorado, I'll be rested, ready to jump back into the fray, and it will be someone's turn to breathe again. Maybe yours.
Mark the box.
We understand.
Love,
The War-weary FRG-exhausted Military Wife Just Like You.
Dear Do-Not-Contact,
I'm so sorry for judging you.
You see, I didn't get it. I've been an army wife about thirteen years now, and it's taken me this long to understand why you marked that little Do-Not-Contact box.
When I was younger, fresher, not worn down by quite so many deployments, I led my first FRG. To this day, it's the volunteer position I'm most proud of. I remember seeing the boxes on the FRG form marked "Do Not Contact," and just shaking my head. Why would they mark that? We were headed into another deployment to Iraq, didn't they want the information? Or the camaraderie? The family? We were doing amazing things, how could they not want to be a part of that?
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
Let me start by saying that I'm not a "Do-not-Contact," but I am as withdrawn from the military life as I've ever been. I haven't had personal contact from my FRG in five months, and you know what? I'm okay with it. Jason has been TDY for over two months now, so the most camo I've seen has been if one of the neighbors comes to the bus stop in uniform. I feel completely, totally separate from the world that's been part of who I am for so long.
Why am I not as involved? A few reasons. The first, is that we're PCS'ing... if only we could figure out when. So in many ways, I've emotionally checked out of Fort Drum, just waiting to pick up our family and move again. Two? Co-leading this last FRG burned me out to where the tiniest flicker of energy remained, and I'm guarding it, tending that little flame until it can come back to roaring life. Three? We have four boys in hockey, Little Miss has some high-needs that require therapists, and my career is taking flight faster than I ever thought possible... I have to concentrate on the immediate needs of my family.
So I haven't made cookies for a bake sale, or run an FRG meeting, or heck, even attended one in months. I haven't gone to a Ball (since he's not here), or planned a fundraiser. My role in army-wifedom is the opposite of what it was a year ago. But want to know something?
I'm still an Army Wife.
I'm holding down the fort solo, holding the pieces together until he gets home. I'm still listening to his day, still picking up boot blousers from random places. I'm at the same duty station, with same unit, and the same waning (due to PCS) support system. I've realized something precious over the last few months that I've been hermitting: being inactive in your FRG doesn't make you any less of an Army Wife. Hell, maybe it makes you more sane. I know it has for me.
Pulling away is okay. Yes, we're army wives, but we're more, right? We're doctors, lawyers, authors, business women, saleswomen, teachers, moms... you name it. We're so much more than the one label of "Army Wife." So if you need to step back from that one area of your life so you can balance the rest, I get it. I'm there too. And I'm so sorry for judging you when I wasn't in your shoes before.
I love my husband more than coffee, chocolate, heck... even air. He's my entire world. I love the army life. I love the formals, the meetings, the support network of wives, the sisterhood that grows during deployments and lasts your whole life. But I also love my sanity.
So maybe you're overwhelmed. Maybe you've been at your limit for so long that one more commitment might push you over the edge. Maybe your time is already spoken for. Heck, maybe you just don't feel like it. Whatever your reason is, it's valid. You're valid. Your career is just as valuable as his, just as worthy (or more-so) of your devotion. Go ahead, mark the box. Take one more thing off your plate so you have room for everything else.
I'm learning, one small step at a time, that my career is just as important as his to our family. It's a shift in mentality that has taken this whole last year to make. Thank God he understands and is my number one fan. I couldn't do any of this without him, as much as I know he couldn't do what he does without me. We're a team.
I'm still an Army Wife, but I'm letting others run the show while I hold our family together during what may be the most stressful period of our life. I haven't checked the Do-Not-Contact box yet, but I understand if you do. I support you. I love you.
Spin your plates, tend your career, your children, your sanity. Keep your love of our military life alive, and if you're ready to jump back in, to volunteer, to run the show... well, then it will be someone else's turn to step back and breathe.
We all need the air. The break. The chance to see who we are past the "proud Army Wife" label.
By the time we get to Colorado, I'll be rested, ready to jump back into the fray, and it will be someone's turn to breathe again. Maybe yours.
Mark the box.
We understand.
Love,
The War-weary FRG-exhausted Military Wife Just Like You.
November 30, 2014
12 Days of New Adult Giveaway
New Adult.
I love it. I adore it. I write it.
I love it because it's the age where we branch out and find who we really are, and not who our families think they've raised us to be.
It's where we make huge, stupid, foolish mistakes that sometimes hurt other people, and almost always hurt ourselves. It's where we don't make sense, because we're so busy trying to do what we "think" is right, that sometimes we lose track of what is actually best.
New Adult is a genre where you can expect angst, growth, stupidity at times, wisdom at others, and maybe even a swoon worthy romance. If it's my new adult, you're always going to get a romance, because New Adult to me is finding who you are in relation to others as well.
My Debut, Full Measures is New Adult, as is the spin-off sequel Eyes Turned Skyward, which releases next week.
So I'm thrilled to participate in the 12 Days of New Adult Blog Hop!
And I'm tossing a Signed copy of Full Measures into the mix. ;)
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So enter to win a signed copy of FULL MEASURES, and it can be yours before Christmas! ;)
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Now hop around to StuckInBooks and see who else is feeling all gifty this Holiday Season!
MUUUUWAH!
~ Rebecca
October 15, 2014
Cover Reveal: Jamie Rae's CALL SIGN KARMA
I'm so excited to reveal this for you! I freaking LOVE Jamie Rae. She's smart, kind, and uber talented!!!!
I'm so excited for you, Jamie!!!
Today is the cover reveal for CALL SIGN KARMA by debut author Jamie Rae. This book will be released January 5th, 2015. Be sure to check out the teasers and rafflecopter below.
Click here to ADD THE BOOK TO GOODREADS
BOOK BLURB:Love in the no-fly zone… Distraught over the loss of her brother in a fighter jet accident, Tinklee Pinkerton decides to follow in his footsteps and prove the tragedy wasn’t his fault. But when she’s chosen as the first woman to fly the Air Force’s F-35, her plan for a life that revolves around work is thrown off course by a handsome, mysterious stranger… Thanks to Locke’s seductive British accent, sweet nature, and one too many beers, Tink is soon inspired to throw caution to the wind and herself into his arms. She thinks maybe love can heal after all—until she discovers Locke is her superior officer. Tink has no problem risking her life in the air, but with everything on the line, is she brave enough to risk her heart on the ground?
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Author Information:JAMIE RAE is a New Adult and Young Adult author. She writes with one goal in mind--create stories with a positive message that will stay with the reader long after they've finished reading. Jamie is an avid reader and loves discovering stories with a great hook, though she will not eat, sleep, or speak until she reaches the end. The Harry Potter years weren't pretty!! Convinced that her Hogwarts letter was lost in the mail, she keeps a watchful eye for owls hoping her children will have better luck! In her other life, Jamie Rae is an orthodontist, and literary agent. She keeps her heart overflowing with love as a mother of three and has perfected the art of nomadic living as a military spouse and Air Force veteran. Jamie has a passion for critters of all shapes and sizes and you can often find her sneaking them into her own home or volunteering for rescues. AUTHOR LINKS: Website: https://www.jamieraewrites.com/ Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/JamieRaeAuthor Twitter: https://twitter.com/JamieRaeWrites Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8295257.Jamie_Rae
I'm so excited for you, Jamie!!!
Today is the cover reveal for CALL SIGN KARMA by debut author Jamie Rae. This book will be released January 5th, 2015. Be sure to check out the teasers and rafflecopter below.
Click here to ADD THE BOOK TO GOODREADS
BOOK BLURB:Love in the no-fly zone… Distraught over the loss of her brother in a fighter jet accident, Tinklee Pinkerton decides to follow in his footsteps and prove the tragedy wasn’t his fault. But when she’s chosen as the first woman to fly the Air Force’s F-35, her plan for a life that revolves around work is thrown off course by a handsome, mysterious stranger… Thanks to Locke’s seductive British accent, sweet nature, and one too many beers, Tink is soon inspired to throw caution to the wind and herself into his arms. She thinks maybe love can heal after all—until she discovers Locke is her superior officer. Tink has no problem risking her life in the air, but with everything on the line, is she brave enough to risk her heart on the ground?
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Author Information:JAMIE RAE is a New Adult and Young Adult author. She writes with one goal in mind--create stories with a positive message that will stay with the reader long after they've finished reading. Jamie is an avid reader and loves discovering stories with a great hook, though she will not eat, sleep, or speak until she reaches the end. The Harry Potter years weren't pretty!! Convinced that her Hogwarts letter was lost in the mail, she keeps a watchful eye for owls hoping her children will have better luck! In her other life, Jamie Rae is an orthodontist, and literary agent. She keeps her heart overflowing with love as a mother of three and has perfected the art of nomadic living as a military spouse and Air Force veteran. Jamie has a passion for critters of all shapes and sizes and you can often find her sneaking them into her own home or volunteering for rescues. AUTHOR LINKS: Website: https://www.jamieraewrites.com/ Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/JamieRaeAuthor Twitter: https://twitter.com/JamieRaeWrites Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8295257.Jamie_Rae
September 30, 2014
The Unthinkable.
Jason and I have been separated a ton during our marriage. We've been through trainings, TDY's, trips to gunnery, NTC, JRTC, courses, and four deployments. Never in a million years did I ever think we'd volunteer to live separately during his dwell time. But that's what's coming at us in less than a week.
It looks like we're going to have to rip our family apart for the chance to keep it together.
I haven't blogged a lot... okay... at all, lately. Why? Because a lot of what's really going on in our life, can't be public knowledge. I can't really tell you what happens in court, without violating privacy. I can't explain what's going on in vague terms for fear that one day this blog that I love will be used against me as was the case of a friend.
If I can't tell you what's really going on? I'm not going to give you some half-assed glossed over version. So what can I tell you? Emotions, I suppose.
Our absolute joy when we lock eyes above Little Miss' tiny frame as she picks up on something we've been working at teaching her.
Our laughter as she wrecks the block-village our boys made for her in Godzilla fashion.
Her laughter at belly kisses or hand puppets.
Our hope that they'd give her permanency at her year-mark in foster care.
Our devastation that the court chose not to, but instead kept her in limbo.
Our anger that the primary legal consideration in her permanency is just...flawed.
I can tell you the way the car door sounded, soft yet final, as Jason tucked me into it after court. I can tell you the way my sob shook my body when I looked at him a few moments later and said, "I'm stuck here until May, at least."Because Jason is headed out. I can tell you that I couldn't stop crying that night as I had to explain to our boys that what little time we're guaranteed to be together, we are choosing to be apart.
I can tell you that our boys chose to stay here, with no resentment toward their Little Miss, knowing we could still be leaving without her eventually, because they want to hold her as long as possible.
Sometimes the strongest souls dwell in the tiniest bodies.
Most of all, I can tell you how desperately we love her.
Yes, we asked the army to delay his orders, but they would have simply sent him somewhere else. We tried everything we could think of to stay together, but when it comes to the army, well, he signed a contract, and I signed a marriage license. They say go, he goes.
That night, we started to make the hard decisions we knew might be coming. Not to sell the house, to keep our kids in their own home since everything else is so uncertain. To sneak away with them for a weekend and soak up as much family time as we could.
So, I went home to Colorado for a few days, since it had been two years, and I missed my family, my mountains, and my friends. I took the time to do a little recharge, and make peace that we weren't moving home when we'd hoped we would be.
The nephew. We will call him Mini-Neph, as opposed to Large-Neph or CO Niece. ;)
Mrs. Greenbay, who now lives in CO
Running Woman, of course!
The best friend, who needs no other title.
Nothing heals my soul like a few days in Colorado. Well, except maybe coming home to Jason and our little tribe of hooligans. I spent my last day with my sister, hoping in and out of her ridiculously large truck as we tracked down every house in school district 12 that will fit our family and then stalked the houses, scaled decks and took notes. The good thing about being so similar to your sister? She pretty much knows which house you're going to like before you pull away. Big hill? No bueno for Rebecca. Flat land? Yes, ma'am. It was so easy to envision us living there, being with our family, which we will, once Little Miss is settled. It was so hard to fly away when I know that we should have been there last month to put the boys into school.
We took the kids to Great Wolf Lodge, listened to them scream down the slides and tucked them into bed when they stayed up entirely too late.
Canadian Mosquitos, man. They don't F* around.
So now we're home, and we're prepping to be separated and well.... I'm kind of emotionally compromised. I know everything I need to do for work. I finished my first round of edits, I hired a wicked awesome publicist, and I'm booking up my summer travel. But I'm incapable of really... moving yet, afraid that the second I acknowledge that we're about to be separated for 8 months by... "choice,"... well, that's tough to swallow.
But please don't tell us, "you're so dedicated," or anything else I've heard lately, like there was any other way we could have played this out. As Jason sat on the floor, playing with our Little Miss, and I drew up a list of things around the house I need help with before he goes, we talked honestly about why we're doing this.
If someone told us Iron Man couldn't move with us, we'd stay, too. We're not leaving one of our kids behind, and I'm sorry, but after this last year in our home, we think of her as one of our kids. It's the easiest decision to make with the toughest consequences, and as Jason actually said (and my fave Stephen Amell, which makes this PERFECT)
'
There is no choice to make.
I firmly believe that our world is a beautiful place, but when things go wrong, it's because those who actually know what the right thing is don't do it. We know what the right thing to do is when there's such a little life at stake. But that doesn't mean this doesn't suck.
Yes, I'm stuck here, sole-caretaking 5 kids with therapists, visitations, 3 hockey teams, scouting and Lord-knows-what while Jason goes to school and then on to Colorado. Yes, I'll be shoveling snow in another Fort Drum winter I never thought I'd see. Yes, I'll be alone when my next book releases, and we'll be apart for birthdays, holidays and milestones... again. But we're choosing to look at the big picture, and in the words of one of my favorite people, Gordon B. Hinckley, we're not forsaking what we want most for what we want NOW.
And what we want is our family.
So we'll fight for our family, and we'll wait for the day Little Miss has permanency, one way or another. And anyone who's ever known Jason and I... well, we excel at the hard stuff. We kick ass when the times get tough.
We've got less than a week left together. Good thing we're in the mood for some ass-kicking.
It looks like we're going to have to rip our family apart for the chance to keep it together.
I haven't blogged a lot... okay... at all, lately. Why? Because a lot of what's really going on in our life, can't be public knowledge. I can't really tell you what happens in court, without violating privacy. I can't explain what's going on in vague terms for fear that one day this blog that I love will be used against me as was the case of a friend.
If I can't tell you what's really going on? I'm not going to give you some half-assed glossed over version. So what can I tell you? Emotions, I suppose.
Our absolute joy when we lock eyes above Little Miss' tiny frame as she picks up on something we've been working at teaching her.
Our laughter as she wrecks the block-village our boys made for her in Godzilla fashion.
Her laughter at belly kisses or hand puppets.
Our hope that they'd give her permanency at her year-mark in foster care.
Our devastation that the court chose not to, but instead kept her in limbo.
Our anger that the primary legal consideration in her permanency is just...flawed.
I can tell you the way the car door sounded, soft yet final, as Jason tucked me into it after court. I can tell you the way my sob shook my body when I looked at him a few moments later and said, "I'm stuck here until May, at least."Because Jason is headed out. I can tell you that I couldn't stop crying that night as I had to explain to our boys that what little time we're guaranteed to be together, we are choosing to be apart.
I can tell you that our boys chose to stay here, with no resentment toward their Little Miss, knowing we could still be leaving without her eventually, because they want to hold her as long as possible.
Sometimes the strongest souls dwell in the tiniest bodies.
Most of all, I can tell you how desperately we love her.
Yes, we asked the army to delay his orders, but they would have simply sent him somewhere else. We tried everything we could think of to stay together, but when it comes to the army, well, he signed a contract, and I signed a marriage license. They say go, he goes.
That night, we started to make the hard decisions we knew might be coming. Not to sell the house, to keep our kids in their own home since everything else is so uncertain. To sneak away with them for a weekend and soak up as much family time as we could.
So, I went home to Colorado for a few days, since it had been two years, and I missed my family, my mountains, and my friends. I took the time to do a little recharge, and make peace that we weren't moving home when we'd hoped we would be.
The nephew. We will call him Mini-Neph, as opposed to Large-Neph or CO Niece. ;)
Mrs. Greenbay, who now lives in CO
Running Woman, of course!
The best friend, who needs no other title.
Nothing heals my soul like a few days in Colorado. Well, except maybe coming home to Jason and our little tribe of hooligans. I spent my last day with my sister, hoping in and out of her ridiculously large truck as we tracked down every house in school district 12 that will fit our family and then stalked the houses, scaled decks and took notes. The good thing about being so similar to your sister? She pretty much knows which house you're going to like before you pull away. Big hill? No bueno for Rebecca. Flat land? Yes, ma'am. It was so easy to envision us living there, being with our family, which we will, once Little Miss is settled. It was so hard to fly away when I know that we should have been there last month to put the boys into school.
We took the kids to Great Wolf Lodge, listened to them scream down the slides and tucked them into bed when they stayed up entirely too late.
Canadian Mosquitos, man. They don't F* around.
So now we're home, and we're prepping to be separated and well.... I'm kind of emotionally compromised. I know everything I need to do for work. I finished my first round of edits, I hired a wicked awesome publicist, and I'm booking up my summer travel. But I'm incapable of really... moving yet, afraid that the second I acknowledge that we're about to be separated for 8 months by... "choice,"... well, that's tough to swallow.
But please don't tell us, "you're so dedicated," or anything else I've heard lately, like there was any other way we could have played this out. As Jason sat on the floor, playing with our Little Miss, and I drew up a list of things around the house I need help with before he goes, we talked honestly about why we're doing this.
If someone told us Iron Man couldn't move with us, we'd stay, too. We're not leaving one of our kids behind, and I'm sorry, but after this last year in our home, we think of her as one of our kids. It's the easiest decision to make with the toughest consequences, and as Jason actually said (and my fave Stephen Amell, which makes this PERFECT)
'There is no choice to make.
I firmly believe that our world is a beautiful place, but when things go wrong, it's because those who actually know what the right thing is don't do it. We know what the right thing to do is when there's such a little life at stake. But that doesn't mean this doesn't suck.
Yes, I'm stuck here, sole-caretaking 5 kids with therapists, visitations, 3 hockey teams, scouting and Lord-knows-what while Jason goes to school and then on to Colorado. Yes, I'll be shoveling snow in another Fort Drum winter I never thought I'd see. Yes, I'll be alone when my next book releases, and we'll be apart for birthdays, holidays and milestones... again. But we're choosing to look at the big picture, and in the words of one of my favorite people, Gordon B. Hinckley, we're not forsaking what we want most for what we want NOW.
And what we want is our family.
So we'll fight for our family, and we'll wait for the day Little Miss has permanency, one way or another. And anyone who's ever known Jason and I... well, we excel at the hard stuff. We kick ass when the times get tough.
We've got less than a week left together. Good thing we're in the mood for some ass-kicking.
September 1, 2014
And this year... I'll be better. Right?
School is almost in session.
Right? Seriously, when we took the boys school supply shopping yesterday, This was what ran through my head:
It's almost as great as Christmas, except the gift I'm getting is TIME. It also seems like this last week, which is the last of this summer, the boys are a wee bit insane. Okay, more like they've lost their ever-loving minds. Ahhhhh, yes, my tiny -
Yeah, they're killing me. Within the first few moments of walking down our steps, well, I'm bound to see this:
So I figure, hey, they need large muscle activity. They need to get the heck out of the house. So by lunch time today, I come home from the store and find them still in their pajamas, fighting over what? MineCraft.And what do I say? "Get dressed, and get outside and play."
To which Thor responds, "Why? We didn't do anything wrong!"
Yeah, apparently playing outside has become punishment? Oy. They would probably think Jason and I grew up being tortured medieval-style, because I think neither of us saw the inside of a house during the summer growing up... and we liked it that way.
So anywhoo, it occurs to me how much nicer, happier the boys are when they're on a gluten-free diet. How much happier, nicer they are when they're scheduled, stimulated without each other. How much they need school just as badly as I do.
In fact, just before I sat down to type this? I was rewarded with the following exchange:
"Ow!" Thor yells.
"Sorry!" The Hulk immediately cries loud enough so that I hear him. Refusing to apologize is a cardinal sin in this house, so he knocked that out of the way early.
"What's going on?" I call back, dreading the answer.
"YOU HURT MY NOSE!" Thor shouts.
"I said I'm sorry!" The Hulk argues.
"Boys!" I yell, trying desperately to get some form of work done before they....
"YOU HURT MY NOSE WITH YOUR FART!"
Wait... what?
The joys of raising boys.
Right, so we're just a few days out of the start of school. Supplies are bought and divided between their new, monogrammed back packs, new shoes have been purchased, clothes too - and I've made it through turning over two of the four boys' wardrobes for school clothes.
I love the sense of rejuvenation I get with the beginning of the school year. In some ways, it feels more like New Year's to me than turning the calendar on January 1. Everything is new, from the pencils to the clothes, and I can't help but feel a little new too. After all, once that school bus takes my tiny boys to their school, it's just Little Miss and me... all day.
After a summer of writing to a deadline (which is new for me, so have some mercy), traveling, summer camps, and a little bit of insanity, I'm ready for routine and structure.
I'm ready to ROCK this.
So instead of New Year's Resolutions, let's try some School Year Resolutions, because I'm feeling all motivated and stuff.
1. This year, I will get up before ALL children, yes, that's 6 a.m., and I will greet the morning with a smile even BEFORE that first strong cup of coffee.
2. This year, I will check all four backpacks both before and after school. * Perhaps this will alleviate the moment I get the phone call where a laser tag gun has been taken to school because The Hulk wanted to play at recess.
3. This year I will diligently sign the teacher correspondence notebooks. Even when the child in question (Oh, who am I kidding, this is always The Hulk), has perhaps not emptied his backpack (see number one), or worse, has maybe hidden said notebook so I don't see that he's decided to not do whatever he was asked to do.
4. This year I will pack only nutritious, gluten-free lunches that I will lovingly prepare earlier than five minutes before the bus. Heck, I'm going to prep the NIGHT before!
5. This year I will make sure that completing number 4 doesn't completely consume the entire grocery budget.
6. This year, I will schedule my time as rigidly as I schedule our kids'. I will hold myself accountable for my working hours so I can spend more time writing when they're gone, and more time with them when they're home. This will help me avoid looking like THIS, when I procrastinate a deadline and I'm up until 5:45 a.m., only to get up two hours later.
Oh, seriously, who am I kidding. My schedule is usually shot to shit after the first round of "look at the germs I picked up in Kindergaten" makes it's way home and all four are out with fevers and doctor's appointments until I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off like:
But wait, we're all about making resolutions here, right? Right.
Back to the positive.
7. This year I will use my kid-free (a.k.a. Little Miss nap) time to block out the rest of the world, write, and catch up on my beta work. And if the phone rings, unless it's one of the trio - (Jason, Aaron, or the School), I'm not answering it. Nope. I'm going to be like:
8. This year, I will promptly stop working the moment they walk in the door. Well... unless I'm on deadline, then all bets are off. But as I tell my little guys, if you want to play hockey... well, mama's got to edit, because man, those skates aren't cheap.
9. This year, I will make sure to hound them for their project due-dates and then I'll make them do it... you know, like... before the night before. This way we avoid the inevitable dash to the store after school for poster board so Captain America can then write "Just say No to Mariwanna," on his D.A.R.E. poster. Then again, having a kid who knows so little about drugs that he misspells marijuana? Yeah, that's really NOT a bad problem to have.
Oh, and amendment - this year I will watch as he's writing to avoid said typo.
10. This year I swear I'll get everything prepped, or heck, teach them to prep their shoes/bags themselves, so that there's a lot more, "have a great day, I love you soooooo much," going on, and a lot less, "Oh my Good Lord, the bus is going to be here in less than five minutes, what do you mean you can only find two left shoes? And why haven't you brushed your teeth? Yes... WITH TOOTHPASTE!" Yeah, I'm going to rock that organization and get everyone out of this house so smoothly that I'll be able to sit down with my post-bus-rush coffee and say:
11. Lastly? Yeah, I'm going to forgive myself when the calendar turns to October and this list has gone to shit. Because I'm a mom, not a domestic goddess. I'm still figuring out this whole balance career / five kids thing, and well... some days are butter, and some days are sour cream... that's gone bad. But hey, we're a work in progress.
Welcome to the school year. We're geared up, monogrammed, ironed, washed and ready to go. Oh, and the kids are, too. ;)
See 'ya on the flip side.
Right? Seriously, when we took the boys school supply shopping yesterday, This was what ran through my head:
It's almost as great as Christmas, except the gift I'm getting is TIME. It also seems like this last week, which is the last of this summer, the boys are a wee bit insane. Okay, more like they've lost their ever-loving minds. Ahhhhh, yes, my tiny -
Yeah, they're killing me. Within the first few moments of walking down our steps, well, I'm bound to see this:
So I figure, hey, they need large muscle activity. They need to get the heck out of the house. So by lunch time today, I come home from the store and find them still in their pajamas, fighting over what? MineCraft.And what do I say? "Get dressed, and get outside and play."
To which Thor responds, "Why? We didn't do anything wrong!"
Yeah, apparently playing outside has become punishment? Oy. They would probably think Jason and I grew up being tortured medieval-style, because I think neither of us saw the inside of a house during the summer growing up... and we liked it that way.
So anywhoo, it occurs to me how much nicer, happier the boys are when they're on a gluten-free diet. How much happier, nicer they are when they're scheduled, stimulated without each other. How much they need school just as badly as I do.
In fact, just before I sat down to type this? I was rewarded with the following exchange:
"Ow!" Thor yells.
"Sorry!" The Hulk immediately cries loud enough so that I hear him. Refusing to apologize is a cardinal sin in this house, so he knocked that out of the way early.
"What's going on?" I call back, dreading the answer.
"YOU HURT MY NOSE!" Thor shouts.
"I said I'm sorry!" The Hulk argues.
"Boys!" I yell, trying desperately to get some form of work done before they....
"YOU HURT MY NOSE WITH YOUR FART!"
Wait... what?
The joys of raising boys.
Right, so we're just a few days out of the start of school. Supplies are bought and divided between their new, monogrammed back packs, new shoes have been purchased, clothes too - and I've made it through turning over two of the four boys' wardrobes for school clothes.
I love the sense of rejuvenation I get with the beginning of the school year. In some ways, it feels more like New Year's to me than turning the calendar on January 1. Everything is new, from the pencils to the clothes, and I can't help but feel a little new too. After all, once that school bus takes my tiny boys to their school, it's just Little Miss and me... all day.
After a summer of writing to a deadline (which is new for me, so have some mercy), traveling, summer camps, and a little bit of insanity, I'm ready for routine and structure.
I'm ready to ROCK this.
So instead of New Year's Resolutions, let's try some School Year Resolutions, because I'm feeling all motivated and stuff.
1. This year, I will get up before ALL children, yes, that's 6 a.m., and I will greet the morning with a smile even BEFORE that first strong cup of coffee.
2. This year, I will check all four backpacks both before and after school. * Perhaps this will alleviate the moment I get the phone call where a laser tag gun has been taken to school because The Hulk wanted to play at recess.
3. This year I will diligently sign the teacher correspondence notebooks. Even when the child in question (Oh, who am I kidding, this is always The Hulk), has perhaps not emptied his backpack (see number one), or worse, has maybe hidden said notebook so I don't see that he's decided to not do whatever he was asked to do.
4. This year I will pack only nutritious, gluten-free lunches that I will lovingly prepare earlier than five minutes before the bus. Heck, I'm going to prep the NIGHT before!
5. This year I will make sure that completing number 4 doesn't completely consume the entire grocery budget.
6. This year, I will schedule my time as rigidly as I schedule our kids'. I will hold myself accountable for my working hours so I can spend more time writing when they're gone, and more time with them when they're home. This will help me avoid looking like THIS, when I procrastinate a deadline and I'm up until 5:45 a.m., only to get up two hours later.
Oh, seriously, who am I kidding. My schedule is usually shot to shit after the first round of "look at the germs I picked up in Kindergaten" makes it's way home and all four are out with fevers and doctor's appointments until I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off like:
But wait, we're all about making resolutions here, right? Right.
Back to the positive.
7. This year I will use my kid-free (a.k.a. Little Miss nap) time to block out the rest of the world, write, and catch up on my beta work. And if the phone rings, unless it's one of the trio - (Jason, Aaron, or the School), I'm not answering it. Nope. I'm going to be like:
8. This year, I will promptly stop working the moment they walk in the door. Well... unless I'm on deadline, then all bets are off. But as I tell my little guys, if you want to play hockey... well, mama's got to edit, because man, those skates aren't cheap.
9. This year, I will make sure to hound them for their project due-dates and then I'll make them do it... you know, like... before the night before. This way we avoid the inevitable dash to the store after school for poster board so Captain America can then write "Just say No to Mariwanna," on his D.A.R.E. poster. Then again, having a kid who knows so little about drugs that he misspells marijuana? Yeah, that's really NOT a bad problem to have.
Oh, and amendment - this year I will watch as he's writing to avoid said typo.
10. This year I swear I'll get everything prepped, or heck, teach them to prep their shoes/bags themselves, so that there's a lot more, "have a great day, I love you soooooo much," going on, and a lot less, "Oh my Good Lord, the bus is going to be here in less than five minutes, what do you mean you can only find two left shoes? And why haven't you brushed your teeth? Yes... WITH TOOTHPASTE!" Yeah, I'm going to rock that organization and get everyone out of this house so smoothly that I'll be able to sit down with my post-bus-rush coffee and say:
11. Lastly? Yeah, I'm going to forgive myself when the calendar turns to October and this list has gone to shit. Because I'm a mom, not a domestic goddess. I'm still figuring out this whole balance career / five kids thing, and well... some days are butter, and some days are sour cream... that's gone bad. But hey, we're a work in progress.
Welcome to the school year. We're geared up, monogrammed, ironed, washed and ready to go. Oh, and the kids are, too. ;)
See 'ya on the flip side.
August 15, 2014
Pucking Mess of a PCS: (Vol. 2) The Binder.
Ah, yes, welcome back to our messy little PCS.
Okay, so when I approach a PCS, that first initial look is kind of like.... well....
Yeah, it's a whole heaping mess of "honey, here's our orders, and our transport dates... did you pick up the kids records?" Um... Yeah, hold on... somewhere.
THIS is my somewhere.
With everything swirling around us regarding this PCS, we're doing our best to organize what we can. Control isn't exactly something we have in spades, but hey, I'll use this little pink binder as compensation. Because in this little binder, everything fits into a neat little compartment and then I can close it up.
Maybe you're thinking:
Well, guess what?
This little wonder is something that makes our complicated PCS just a little more simple. The pink version is the 2nd we've gone through. Our trusty red one finally gave out. Boo. To be honest, this one isn't my favorite because it's missing some of the pockets we've grown accustomed to, and I might just sneak out and purchase another one because if anything, I am very much a creature of habit. But for now, it works, it's bright (a MUST in our house), and pink makes me happy.
So what do we keep in our PCS Binder?
1. Orders - Yup, those pesky little papers that says you're on the move. I usually have Jason print out about 20 of them, because you need them at the oddest times. To get out of leases, or cell phone contracts, and the movers need them. If you're headed overseas, you'll need them at the airport for your baggage, or heck, if you're flying anywhere to a duty station. It'll help you out with those over-stuffed bags. You never know when you'll need these, so I also scan them in and email them to myself. That way I can send them quickly from my smartphone if someone needs them that moment.
2. Transport - This is where you put all your information regarding the movement of your stuff. You know, your household goods and hold baggage. So appointment papers, any paperwork they give us when they show up, our weight tickets if we're doing a DITY. Then we make sure as they unpack, we pay close attention to what is damaged/broken, and we use this slot to keep records of all that in one place as well.
3. Storage - If moving Overseas, this is where we keep the info on everything we're putting into storage. But this PCS, we're using it to keep tabs on what's in our storage unit while we stage our house to sell. Also, because we need to store our things in Colorado before we buy our house, it will keep that info too.
4. Records. - You know... Birth Certificates, marriage license, passports, Social Security cards... yup, the identity theft jackpot. At this point, since everything is already out, I go ahead and make a copy of everything, and email it to myself. I also take a copy of Jason's ID, and our Power of Attorney (GET ONE), and email them to myself with orders in one PDF for easy "yes, I have authorization to talk to you about my freaking utilities." Sigh. Especially with our crazy PCS situation, I'll need a power of attorney to sell our house, and handle just about everything while Jason is at WOAC.
5. Travel - This is where I store all of our hotel reservations for the trip to our new duty station, or airplane tickets for OCONUS moves. This folder is with me at all times during a PCS (hence the DO NOT PACK), so when I keep gas receipts or anything regarding our travel (U-haul reservations, and such) in this little pocket.
6. School - Anything regarding the kids' school, from their records from our current duty station, to any forms I'll need completed to enroll them at the new one. If I know I need a physical to enroll them at our new duty station, I make sure to have that completed here, and then stick it in the pocket. PCS's are all about making sure things run as smoothly for the tiny humans as possible.
7. Drum - Anything random that we need while we're HERE.
8. Rucker - Anything we need pertaining to Jason's TDY in Fort Rucker.
9. Carson - Any new information we get about the new post. Because Colorado Springs is my home, this will stay pretty empty, but in other moves it's been full of "what to do while in..." lists, maps, language-guides... you get the gist.
10. Little Miss - Anything regarding what's going on with our Little Miss, since we'll start packing our filing cabinets where we keep her records/court papers.
11. We leave random compartments for anything we need to adapt! (Something tells me it will be hockey stuff... yup.)
Booyah.
There's our PCS Binder. It's great to have everything in one place, but it's also a PAIN IN THE A## to lose. My best advice? Keep it in one place, and one place only. Then, the day the movers are set to arrive, lock this bad boy in your car so it doesn't accidentally wind up in your household goods. Yup.
This one little slice of organzation makes me feel like we can get through this without tearing my hair out... or my husband's hair. But I can't stress enough - DON'T LOSE IT. This is the tiny something that makes this just a teensie bit less of a Pucking Mess. Yup.
So for just this minute, I feel totally and completely like an under-control, PCS Badass.
Yeah, I'll take it.
Okay, so when I approach a PCS, that first initial look is kind of like.... well....
Yeah, it's a whole heaping mess of "honey, here's our orders, and our transport dates... did you pick up the kids records?" Um... Yeah, hold on... somewhere.
THIS is my somewhere.
With everything swirling around us regarding this PCS, we're doing our best to organize what we can. Control isn't exactly something we have in spades, but hey, I'll use this little pink binder as compensation. Because in this little binder, everything fits into a neat little compartment and then I can close it up.
Maybe you're thinking:
Well, guess what?
This little wonder is something that makes our complicated PCS just a little more simple. The pink version is the 2nd we've gone through. Our trusty red one finally gave out. Boo. To be honest, this one isn't my favorite because it's missing some of the pockets we've grown accustomed to, and I might just sneak out and purchase another one because if anything, I am very much a creature of habit. But for now, it works, it's bright (a MUST in our house), and pink makes me happy.
So what do we keep in our PCS Binder?
1. Orders - Yup, those pesky little papers that says you're on the move. I usually have Jason print out about 20 of them, because you need them at the oddest times. To get out of leases, or cell phone contracts, and the movers need them. If you're headed overseas, you'll need them at the airport for your baggage, or heck, if you're flying anywhere to a duty station. It'll help you out with those over-stuffed bags. You never know when you'll need these, so I also scan them in and email them to myself. That way I can send them quickly from my smartphone if someone needs them that moment.
2. Transport - This is where you put all your information regarding the movement of your stuff. You know, your household goods and hold baggage. So appointment papers, any paperwork they give us when they show up, our weight tickets if we're doing a DITY. Then we make sure as they unpack, we pay close attention to what is damaged/broken, and we use this slot to keep records of all that in one place as well.
3. Storage - If moving Overseas, this is where we keep the info on everything we're putting into storage. But this PCS, we're using it to keep tabs on what's in our storage unit while we stage our house to sell. Also, because we need to store our things in Colorado before we buy our house, it will keep that info too.
4. Records. - You know... Birth Certificates, marriage license, passports, Social Security cards... yup, the identity theft jackpot. At this point, since everything is already out, I go ahead and make a copy of everything, and email it to myself. I also take a copy of Jason's ID, and our Power of Attorney (GET ONE), and email them to myself with orders in one PDF for easy "yes, I have authorization to talk to you about my freaking utilities." Sigh. Especially with our crazy PCS situation, I'll need a power of attorney to sell our house, and handle just about everything while Jason is at WOAC.
5. Travel - This is where I store all of our hotel reservations for the trip to our new duty station, or airplane tickets for OCONUS moves. This folder is with me at all times during a PCS (hence the DO NOT PACK), so when I keep gas receipts or anything regarding our travel (U-haul reservations, and such) in this little pocket.
6. School - Anything regarding the kids' school, from their records from our current duty station, to any forms I'll need completed to enroll them at the new one. If I know I need a physical to enroll them at our new duty station, I make sure to have that completed here, and then stick it in the pocket. PCS's are all about making sure things run as smoothly for the tiny humans as possible.
7. Drum - Anything random that we need while we're HERE.
8. Rucker - Anything we need pertaining to Jason's TDY in Fort Rucker.
9. Carson - Any new information we get about the new post. Because Colorado Springs is my home, this will stay pretty empty, but in other moves it's been full of "what to do while in..." lists, maps, language-guides... you get the gist.
10. Little Miss - Anything regarding what's going on with our Little Miss, since we'll start packing our filing cabinets where we keep her records/court papers.
11. We leave random compartments for anything we need to adapt! (Something tells me it will be hockey stuff... yup.)
Booyah.
There's our PCS Binder. It's great to have everything in one place, but it's also a PAIN IN THE A## to lose. My best advice? Keep it in one place, and one place only. Then, the day the movers are set to arrive, lock this bad boy in your car so it doesn't accidentally wind up in your household goods. Yup.
This one little slice of organzation makes me feel like we can get through this without tearing my hair out... or my husband's hair. But I can't stress enough - DON'T LOSE IT. This is the tiny something that makes this just a teensie bit less of a Pucking Mess. Yup.
So for just this minute, I feel totally and completely like an under-control, PCS Badass.
Yeah, I'll take it.
