Letitia Suk's Blog, page 10

Start with Flowers

[image error]It usually takes me a few weeks after Christmas to pick up where I left off late-December. Not that I don’t get any work done but rather than clean my home office before resuming a regular workflow, I did a lot of piling up. When I needed the space, I just scooched everything over or tossed the piles into a laundry basket Paper Laundry.

I knew when the gig was up, we usually do, and order demanded restoration before any further creativity could ensue. The first step is always the same, start with flowers.

Not just any flowers but fragrant blooms, Asiatic Lilies. Nothing brings out the order in me like those lilies. They rest atop my “other” desk, the small antique wood one that I sit and write letters at.

Once the lilies were in place, I found it easy to fly through the piles, tossing and shredding and sometimes filing away. With their beauty and fragrance to propel me on, as well as fast tempo’d “cleaning music,” I tackled the bookshelf next. More piles ensued but this time they had labels: donate to the library, give to friends, add to my current reading pile.

Photos got updated as well as I like to see loved ones and framed happy memories. My computer desk was the last project as I once again carefully selected the objects in my visual site each time I sat down to work.

I’m happy to report the surfaces are still clear and the flowers are still blooming after a few weeks! Quite a beauty bargain at $4.99.

Truly, my office would still be piled up if I hadn’t started with the flowers. I find the same principle works with my dining room table. Hard to behold beauty and paper pile-ups simultaneously so the papers get reassigned a location. But not to my desk! Quickest step is to just go through them.

Like with many other details of order, do what works for you to get it done. Flowers get me started,”cleaning music” carries me through the task and maintaining (the hardest part) keeps me satisfied each time I step into the room.

What works for you to chase the intentional life?

Hope for the best,

Tish

PS I have an Amazon author page! amazon.com/author/letitiasuk Would love for you to follow me

Freeze these Moments!

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With the oldest at a Christmas play.

My daughter texted that she was on the way over so, instead of finishing five more things, I stood at the window to watch. Not a common practice but this time I wanted to freeze the moment.

Just like a thousand other times, a van pulled up and in that ordinary moment I experienced a gush of grace to realize how precious and fleeting this season of life is. This silver van holds two grandchildren, the other red one transports five of them. There is one more in a distant state. Piling out of the car, they always run into the house eager for fun (except the littlest one that still needs someone to carry.)

Excitement abounds because so far, we are still the hot stuff in town. They count on and receive lots of hugs, stories read, no-complaint food and for the older ones, a big box of Legos in the basement. Not quite like my beloved grandpa who offered me a “soda” as I walked in the door and a half-dollar when I walked out but you get the idea.

Just like with our own four, these days seem like they will never end. But I know now from wistful experience, these early years have an expiration date. Shows up way too quickly. At some point, the older ones might have “other offers” for a Friday night or Saturday morning and one day no one will need a parent to drive them over.

So, until then, I plan to notice, savor, put my phone down, and enjoy this second chance to imprint precious souls in little bodies.

My friends tell me grandchildren are a lot of fun when they are older too and I’m confident we find new fun ways to connect for that long season. I’m not thinking about that much now though so it doesn’t distract me from the moments of today.

The oldest drew me this picture a year or two back which lives forever on the fridge: “We think of you all the time Mimi!”

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Ditto my darlings.

Hope for the best,

Tish

Retro “Intentions” for the New Year

[image error]Since I am a life coach, you might think I love “resolutions.”  Okay, I used to (before I was a coach.) In this season of my life, I prefer the concept of “intentions.” Softer, at least to me, but still motivating.

Like most of my friends and probably you too, losing a few pounds or cleaning out those old emails or reading more books always seems like the best strategy for a new start in January. I have all those items and more on my “intentions” list but I wanted to let you know the two changes that I am staying consistent with so far. I know it’s early but I celebrate all successes!

1.Washing dishes. Before you gasp like “what was she doing before??” I will tell you dishwashers just don’t last as long as they used to. We bought this one five years ago and I am disappointed it is fading so fast. The previous one lasted eleven  years before it started ignoring the crud.

After yet another round of re-washing I decided to skip the dishwasher and go straight to the sink. Anyone remember that? Funny but when I went to Target to buy a dish pan, the very young sales clerk looked at me blankly when I asked where the dish pans were. I repeated my question and he took me to the cooking pan aisle. Again, “no, where are the dish pans?” He still looked like I was speaking pig-Latin. I finally asked where the dish racks were and he pointed the way. Of course, the dish pans were there too.

I really enjoy washing my dishes by hand and it is so much faster than I remember. Ask me in a month how it’s going. Good music helps too.

2.Exercise Videos. So far so good. I have a stack of Jane Fonda videos designed for “women of a certain age.” I used to jump along with Jane in the 90’s but neither one of us is doing much jumping these days. These versions are “gentler” but still challenging. Perfect.

Each video is less than 30 minutes long, a big plus for me, and I just need to walk downstairs before I do anything else in the morning. All plans to get to it later never happen. The key is to lay out the workout clothes the night before and make sure the video is ready to play.

How about you? Any intentions you can report on so far?

Hope for the best,

Tish

What Did You Get For Christmas Last Year?*

[image error] Quick!  Do you remember three things you got for Christmas last year?  I didn’t think so.  At least not without a few minutes to think about it.

Good to remember today with 11 days to go while I am keeping a nervous eye on how many days of free shipping I have left at Amazon.  Kind of crazy…all the energy, not to mention $$, put into finding THE great gift only to have it not remembered for long.

Sure, I remember a handful, and always the baby dolls from my childhood that smelled so good.  One of my children usually gives me a gift that elicits tears of joy.  They call it the “crying gift.”  I definitely remember the powerful elixir of love, affection and being “known” that imprints long after the exact gift fades.

Fortunately, we decided years ago to give our kids no more than three gifts each, based on the Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh model.  Stocking stuffers don’t count and neither does the small joke gift but limiting the number limits the “gift-anxiety” syndrome of running back to the store for just one more thing.  Probably soon forgotten also.

Perhaps it is not the gift per se but the moment the gift brings that keeps us on the hunt for just the right thing.   The moment that’s right before the opening that holds all the promise & possibility.  Intangibles for sure, but a gift also be the harbinger of matters of the heart.

So I carry on with my lists and forays to various websites still hoping for a WOW.

Will the perfect gift be remembered? Maybe not but the love that wrapped it up won’t be forgotten.

Hope for the Best,

Tish

PS Giveaway raffle  for  my new book, “Getaway with God,” with a Vera Bradley travel bag ends Friday: Enter here.

*perennial post

Second Week of Advent : Holiday Values: What Would You Rather Do? *

Not everyone feels the same about holiday baking or decorating or the value of attending The Christmas Carol.

Before you make another list for the next 20 days, stop and clarify your holiday values so you can invest your precious time and resources in the places most meaningful to you.

In my Christmas workshops, I ask the attenders to rank the following values 1-10.  Try it and see if you can identify what is really important to you. Avoid “all of the above” and really rank them. You might be surprised!

Important disclaimer:  There are no right values, just yours!  Answer what you know is true, not what you think you should answer!

Please rank these values in order of importance to you

Christmas is…

___A time to celebrate with my immediate family

___A time to celebrate with extended family

___A time to celebrate with friends

___A time to go to special events

___A time to decorate my home and/or be creative

___A time to prepare special Holiday foods

___A time to give gifts to those I love

___A time to help the needy in the community

___A time of spiritual renewal

___A time to kick back and relax

Tree cutting with my family is a high value!

When you’re done, if applicable, ask your spouse or significant other to also do the exercise.

I am now able to forego baking cookies and use the time to celebrate with my friends.  Much more enjoyable

First Week of Advent…Are You Ready?*

Twenty-six days til Christmas, do you know where your Advent wreath is?  Celebrating Advent is a way to keep you and your family focused on Jesus while still enjoying the cultural celebrations.


 
Here is an excerpt from my first published Advent article. Kids are grown now but I still celebrate Advent every day!

Three weeks and two days before Christmas and the heated discussion among my four children is not about which video games they want for Christmas but whose turn it is to light the candle at family Advent. It’s the first week of Advent season, the observance of the four weeks preceding Christmas, a tradition started in the Middle Ages. My kids want to make sure they each have a part in the celebration.

More than any other activity, Advent can restore Jesus to the center of the Christmas celebration, because on each Advent day the birth of Jesus is read, sung and talked about. The whole family can participate and find the observance meaningful. The props are simple and inexpensive. The memories and training will last a lifetime. Although the common tenets of observing Advent are shared by many churches, each family can add its own flavor. Following is a basic primer on how to start celebrating Advent this year.

When: Advent starts on the fourth Sunday before Christmas. Because Christmas falls on different days each year, Advent can last 22 to 28 days.

What you need:

An Advent wreath,  available  at most Christian bookstores, on-line , or made of fire-safe materials. Perhaps it could be a family event to choose or make the Advent wreath.




Four candles, three purple and one rose, and an additional white candle for Christmas Eve. A box of four Advent candles available at  Christian bookstores or  on-line.




A Bible for readings and, for younger children, a selection of children’s Christmas stories that focus on the birth of Jesus.  My favorite resource is “The Advent Book.”






Advent readings.

Optional items:

An Advent calendar, available where cards are sold, with 24 windows to open each day in December or a paper chain of 24 red and green links to mark the number of days until Jesus’ birthday.




Christmas carol books.
The Advent Book

 

The Advent Book

Beginning the celebration: On the first day begin with either a prayer or a Christmas carol. Light the first purple candle, known as the prophecy candle. The liturgical color purple is a sign of penance and longing as we wait for the birth of Jesus. With the lighting, talk about Jesus being the light of the world. Read the Advent Scripture of the day. Conclude by singing or praying. Have one child blow out the candle.

Light the same candle each day of the first week. Follow with the reading, Christmas carols or other meaningful activities. On the second Sunday light two purple candles, both of which are re-lit each night. The second candle is known as the Bethlehem candle.

The third week light the two purple candles and then a rose candle, or shepherd candle. Rose is a sign of joy and hope that He is coming.

Light the last candle, known as the angel candle, on the fourth Sunday. All four candles are lit each night that week to symbolize the growing brightness of Jesus’ coming.  Some families choose to light a white candle on Christmas Eve.

Long after the new toys are banished to the back of the closet and the decorations stored away for another year, the memories of the four weeks of Advent will remain. Don’t be surprised if it turns out to be your favorite tradition!

Additional Advent Activities

As Christmas cards arrive, save them with the Advent wreath and use your Advent prayer time to pray for the senders.




Do an Advent service project for the needy. Collect money or goods and use a portion of the Advent time to decide whom to help and how to do it. Some possibilities are to join a church’s gift-giving project, call the Salvation Army for names of families who are needy, send a special food or gift package to a missionary or give anonymously to those you know in need.




Use your nativity set with as many animals as possible to enact the story. (Great for younger kids!) Some families set up the manger scene and each day move the people and animals in a little closer.




Add occasional craft times to the end of an Advent ceremony. Make ornaments using salt dough or glue pictures of family members on flat foam shapes and decorate.




Make cookies or candies to share at the conclusion of your Advent time, or make special Advent cookies different from Christmas ones.




Have children bring homemade instruments to enhance the singing.




If you have competitive children, alternate who will light the candle, pick the carol, lead the prayers and read the Bible.
Invite your friends to share an Advent evening with you.

Advent Readings

The length of the Advent season depends on which day of the week Christmas falls on. This schedule includes all possible 28 days of Advent. For shorter seasons adjust this schedule by doubling up on some readings or eliminating the final two readings, which record events after Christ’s birth.

First Week

Sun. Is. 40:1-5
Mon. Is. 52:7-10
Tue. Is. 40:9-11
Wed. Gen. 3:8-15
Thu. Gen. 15:1-6
Fri. Deut. 18:15-19
Sat. Ps. 89:1-4

Second Week

Sun. Is. 11:1-10
Mon. Zech. 6:12-13
Tue. Mic. 5:2-4
Wed. Mal. 3:1-6
Thu. John 1:1-8
Fri. John 1:9-18
Sat. Mark 1:1-3

Third Week

Sun. Luke 1:5-13
Mon. Luke 1:14-17
Tue. Luke 1:18-25
Wed. Luke 1:39-45
Thu. Luke 1:46-56
Fri. Luke 1:57-66
Sat. Luke 1:67-80

Fourth Week

Sun. Is. 7:10-14
Mon. Luke 1:26-35
Tue. Is. 9:2-7
Wed. Mt. 1:18-25
Thu. Luke 2:1-20
Fri. Mt. 2:1-2
Sat. Luke 2:21-35

Hope for the best,

Tish

PS My new book on personal retreats is out! Getaway with God: The Everywoman’s Guide to Personal Retreat.

PPS * Popular post

The Thanksgiving Journal*

Thanksgiving morning our family crowds around a card table to eat breakfast in the living room .  Sipping eggnog in champagne glasses,  we give thanks.  For the new job, the fun summer vacation, grandma’s successful surgery, the basement stayed dry…from the spectacular to the mundane, we are grateful.

As the self-appointed secretary, I write it all down with cryptic notes and initials of who was grateful for what. Not nicely at all but rather fast and furious, in between sips of tea, so as not to slow down the flow. Later that weekend I will carefully transcribe this year’s thanks into the Thanksgiving Journal, a simple fabric lined blank book we started in 1982.

The favorite part of breakfast is next:  We open the journal and read aloud lists from the past.   We used to read ALL the entries from every year but now each of us chooses a year or two to read before the turkey needs to get put in the oven. The early years are most often chosen.

Much laughter ensues as we recall a four-year-old’s gratefulness for a new tricycle, the year we got our winter coats at a great garage sale, the addition of a guinea pig to the family circle.  We also remember the family triumphs: the completion of a project at work or the beginning of a new baby-sitting job, the mastery of a hard piece on the violin, the winning little league team.

Friends who have moved on often show up in the journal, the upstairs neighbors who provided the playmates, the best friend from kindergarten, the work colleague who was so helpful. Some people in our paths have many entries in our journal:  the teacher that taught all four of our kids, the children’s pastor at church, grandmas and grandpa’s and our close friends who live two doors away.

Vacations are always remembered with thanks, Niagara Falls, the ocean, the campsites, and the family van that took us to all those places.

The harder stuff of life transforms into thanks in the pages of the journal as well.  We’re thankful that our friend who died is in heaven; grateful that mom’s car accident  wasn’t worse; glad for the new bike to replace the stolen one.

We also recall the guests who joined us each year as their names are in the journal as well.  Remember John and Sue?  Whatever happened to Mark?  Who is Terry?  Wow, the Bowkers have come 17 times!

By the end of breakfast we are full from the special foods but also of rich memories of fun times, friends along the way, places we have been, and God’s faithfulness.  We will spend the rest of the day with family and friends, and later also record all the details  such as the weather, special treats, new games, and assorted tidbits such as the year the plumbing backed up.

Later in the day, the same card table will hold a jigsaw puzzle for old and new friends to work on while drinking hot cider and waiting for the traditional dinner.  Following the feast is a group walk around the block and spirited game playing.  One of the beauties of Thanksgiving is that we all know the script!

The journal will stay the rest of the weekend out for browsing, laughing, and remembering.  By the following Monday it will return to its place on the shelf next to the one that holds the Christmas memories.

We remember what we have written.

Hope for the Best,

Tish

PS It’s never too late to start!

*Annual post

Five Steps for Christmas Planning to Start Now

This Year’s Notebook

I know it is 10 days before Thanksgiving but the holiday music is on the radio and it’s time to start the Christmas lists! I crawled under the front steps last week to dig out the Christmas planning box and pulled out THE NOTEBOOK which contains all the details.

I love Christmas but enjoy it so much more with a plan for action and celebration so I can keep my focus on the birth of Jesus.  Based on my years of coaching and workshops on this topic, I think most of you want a plan as well.

Here’s how it goes…

 

First step: Gather the planning supplies:

Blank calendars printed from the computer, one for the rest of November, and one for December.
My plastic box of Christmas files which include recipes, gift lists, receipts, past newsletters, Advent activities, inspirational articles and decorating ideas.
A stack of old-fashioned steno notebooks which is my main planning tool each year.  One page per person, event and activity.
The December Good Housekeeping magazine for fun ideas.
Christmas journals from past years.
An old article from 1979 which always inspires me.
A Christmas CD or Pandora station
Hot cocoa

Your BONUS hour is here: Claim Quickly!*

Your wish has come true, you really will have an extra hour in a day! Before you mindlessly reset the clock on Sunday, think of all the things you would love to do if you had an extra hour and do one of them!

I have a ritual of keeping one clock on daylight savings time until sometime during the day when I can enjoy my gift of a FREE hour. At that time I announce that the next hour belongs to me and spend it lavishly.

Some years this hour’s spent taking a long walk, reading a fun book, sorting photos, something truly lifegiving. At the end of the hour, set the clock back to the real-time and you’re on schedule with the rest of the world again!

I spent the most memorable extra hour a few years ago developing a “Life List”..also known by some as “Bucket List”….all the things I hope to yet do in my life from the mundane (learn how to French braid) to the exotic (visit all the oceans). That list now gets frequent review as a planning tool as I look ahead.

This is how I would like to spend my hour!

Choose carefully how to use your extra hour, you won’t get this opportunity again for a whole year!

What about the hour you lose in the spring? Just pick something you DON’T want to do that takes about an hour and don’t do it!

How will you use yours?

Hope for the best,

Tish

PS Are you on Goodreads? Enter to win a copy of my new book Getaway with God: Everywoman’s Guide to Personal Retreat giveaway

*annual post

Five Things I Like/Don’t Like about Halloween*

The lawn decorations have definitely escalated, don’t you think?  Each year I seem more ambivalent about this almost National Holiday, Halloween.  I remember years I loved it, and other autumns I couldn’t wait for it to end.  Do I like it or not?  I’m still not sure but here are my five reasons for each side of my personal debate.

Like # 1: You get to talk to all your neighbors on the same night!  My favorite Halloweens were the years we took the kids trick-or-treating in our neighborhood.  I loved the meet and greet that occurred at each door.

Easy costume!

Dislike # 1: I am a definite non-creative when it comes to costumes, the kids or my own.  I had a bad case of costume-envy every year.  One year in a rare act of domesticity at the machine, I sewed  costumes for my boys.  I don’t sew!  I thought they looked adorable but more or less made them wear them until they outgrew them and passed down to the girls.  They still lurk in the garage I think.

Like # 2:  I love seeing kids, i.e. my grandchildren, light up when they talk about what they are going to be for Halloween.  Such a magical transformation that trumps an afternoon rummaging through the dress-up box. Can’t wait to see them tonight!

Dislike # 2:  I don’t like being scared and don’t get why people think Haunted Houses are fun.  Horror movies? Don’t get me started! I can still call up some Twilight Zone episodes and feel all the fright. Why invite fear?

Like # 3: I like the mostly universality of the holiday. Families all over the country are gearing up for the big night and I like being a part of that large scope and seeing the spillover on my sidewalks.

Dislike # 3: I have encountered the real spiritual dark side and there is nothing fun about it.  Hard for me to enter into any celebration that honors this in any way.

Like # 4: Seeing retail and other employees in costume for a night is really fun. Catching glimpses of their whimsical side showing up is usually delightful. The grocery store was full of fun headgear today and everyone seemed friendlier