Bruce Van Horn's Blog, page 4

Happy 1st Birthday, Life Is A Marathon!

On September 14, 2014, I took a deep breath, trusted my inner-knowing that I was about to do something that would forever change my life and, I hoped, the lives of many people, and spoke into a microphone, officially starting my “Life Is A Marathon” podcast!

One year and 152 episodes later, I am even more sure that I did the right thing!

This podcast has become one of the most rewarding things I have ever done in my life. Every time I speak into the microphone to record another episode, I truly feel am I doing what I was created to do. The messages of gratitude I receive from my listeners, every day, confirm this calling.

I have, for many years, felt called by God to do a “ministry” that lifts people up, gives them hope, and empowers them to live as the fullest expression of who they were created to be. For many years, I thought I would be doing this ministry in a local community of people often called a “church.” God had other plans.

Shortly after my cancer surgery in April, 2014, a friend, who is a full-time missionary, visited me. He said “Bruce, God’s not done with you. I have a feeling He has bigger plans for you than you think He does.” I had no idea how right this would be.

My “Life Is A Marathon” podcast is listened to by thousands of people every day in 190 countries around the world. Three days per week, I share from my heart the life experiences and insight God has given me with no idea who needs to hear my words on any given day–I also know they are not my words. Almost every day, someone writes to say that something I said was exactly what they needed to hear at the right time in their lives.

If you haven’t yet heard my show, I invite you to give it a try. You can listen directly from the website at www.LifeIsAMarathon.com or through iTunes, Stitcher, or any other podcast app on any mobile device.

Here is the link to my special Happy 1st Birthday, Life Is A Marathon episode.

Happy 1st Birthday, Life Is A Marathon! appeared first on Bruce Van Horn.

Meet Me in Kona, Hawaii?

I am so excited to tell you about something I’m doing and invite you to be a part of it!

My good friend, Leisa Peterson, a highly respected wealth coach and mindfulness meditation teacher, is moving to Hawaii for the Fall so she can unplug from her busy life for a few months, connect with her family, and work on a new book.

Leisa has been a guest on my “Life Is A Marathon” podcast twice, with more appearances planned as we very much enjoy working together!

For the past few months, Leisa and I have been talking about and planning a series of live events we want to host together in 2016. It occurred to her that, since she will already be there, Hawaii would be the perfect place to hold our first event. Needless to say, I agreed with this wise woman!

So here is your chance to spend a transformational weekend with Leisa and me in beautiful Kona, Hawaii, for the weekend of November 13-16, 2015.

We’re calling it “Transform: A Mastermind Retreat in Hawaii”

We’re setting it up as a mastermind as we know that the right people will show up and want to be a part of the experience.

So we can learn, grow, and expand together while having a blast in one of the most beautiful places on the planet.

We’re planning to rent a large, ocean-front home to create an all inclusive, intimate experience for those who attend. We’re limiting it to 20 people to maximize the experience for everyone.

Plus we’re keeping the costs within reach so those who feel called to be there will have a way to make it happen.

You can watch a video Leisa and I created about the event to learn more by clicking here.

You have to ACT FAST as we don’t have much time to book our accommodations (See some photos below.)

So please let us know of your interest by September 15th, at the latest, so we can have a quick chat and fill you in on the details before you make your decision.

Leisa and I can’t wait to see who shows up for this amazing, transformational, experience because we know this is the start of something REALLY BIG for each of us.

So check out our video and learn more by clicking here!

To Your Joy,
Bruce

This is the view from one of the houses we are considering for the retreat!

A view of beautiful Kona, Hawaii

Meet Me in Kona, Hawaii? appeared first on Bruce Van Horn.

Go Ahead and Jump!

Back in February 2014, I wrote a post titled “I Know You’re Scared. Do it Scared! I Know You’re Unsure, Do it Unsure!” Little did I know that, in just two weeks after writing those words, I would face the biggest period of fear and uncertainty in my life. The phone rang and my doctor told me I had cancer.

The next few months of my life are still a blur to me, as so many things happened so quickly. I was scared and uncertain about nearly every aspect of my life.

Nevertheless, I remembered writing those words and kept saying them over and over to myself as I lived one day, one step at a time. “I know you’re scared. Do it scared!” became my mantra. I am so glad that I took my own advice because my life is completely different and I have accomplished things in the last year that I did not think were possible.

I often talk about this on my “Life is a Marathon” podcast–which I started while being very scared–and many people write to thank me for encouraging them to do the same. I want to share one of these stories with you. This email came from Mindy, and she has given me permission to share it with you:

Bruce, you amazing guy you! I must share with you how you helped me!  I recently listened to your podcasts titled “On the other side of fear is freedom!” And guess what?…..I took your advice and I “did it scared!” Near my house there is a totally sweet spot called “The Cove.” It’s located back in the woods underneath an abandoned railroad. It’s a swimming hole. I took my 7 year old son here about a month ago, and we did get into the water, but I avoided the most fun part of this spot because I was terrified. This swimming hole sits at the bottom of a giant tunnel which is about 20 ft drop from the top of the tunnel to the water. Kids come here daily to jump from the tunnel into the hole, and I don’t need to tell you that its pretty terrifying when your looking down from above. Well, my son was bummed that I was so squirmy about this place. He complained that he wished I had swam more. I was just so freaking scared. Even when we left, my heart was sad that I didn’t do what I wanted to do and jump!! So, after I heard your podcast, I said to myself “We’re gonna do this scared! Hell ya!!” I didn’t even finish it to the end. I paused it, then I made arrangements to have my baby watched. I and waited for Saturday when we would be going. Oh my gosh, Bruce, I was nervous for 48 hours! But no backing out now! I was gonna have some fun and get me some freedom, dammit!! Saturday came, we dropped the baby off, and headed out to this super sweet spot, both of us shaking in our flipflops. I told my boy, I’m really scared buddy, but I’m doing this! And then he started to say, he was scared too, but I reassured him that he didn’t have to do ANYTHING he didn’t want to. We got there, there were 15 or so people hanging out, having fun, swimming, and I was just getting so freaking nervous and I KNEW if I thought about, then I would talk myself out of it!! (just like the first time) So I walked up to the drop, threw my backpack and flipflops off as quick as possible, looked to left to ask a random guy “am I going to hit a rock?” He said no, and Mindy jumped!!!! It was EXACTLY as scary as I thought it would be but OMG, WHAT A RUSH!!! The people watching were a bit stunned and even yelled down at me, “Wow, there was no hesitation there!” My son came alive a little bit that moment. LOL. Bruce, you were right. I walked through fear and picked me up some freedom (yeah baby!!!) Thank you so much for sharing God’s message on these podcasts! I jumped several times that day, each time was really scary because it’s just so far down! And guess what, you want to know the best part? At the very end, my 7 year old son faced his fear and jumped, too!!!!! And he “did it scared”. There are not words for the joy I felt inside my body and soul. And it wasn’t so much that he jumped. It was the impact that facing his fear had on him! He was speechless for about an hour…LOL Which is saying a lot since he’s my chatterbox kid. But you know what, Bruce? This has planted a seed inside him (and me). He knows now that he is brave, and that he is cool, and that he is fun. Something he didn’t believe prior to this. (And at such a young age!) How can I say thanks to you? For giving me something so priceless? I know Jesus lead me to your podcast so I could get myself unstuck and LIVE!!!! I will say thanks by sharing with you how you have impacted my life. And I absolutely tell EVERYONE about your podcast! Bruce, I’m so very blessed beyond measure. We are going again this Saturday And were going to do it again “scared”.

I absolutely love this message from Mindy and am so proud of her for facing her fear and doing it scared! You see, all of life’s treasures are guarded by fear and self-doubt. The biggest treasure that awaits you, however, is true emotional and spiritual freedom! As I said, “On the other side of fear lies freedom!” Mindy and her son found the thrill of freedom. You can, too!

What is it that you want to do that you know will bring great happiness in your life, but you are too scared to try. I know you’re scared. Do it scared!

Go Ahead and Jump! appeared first on Bruce Van Horn.

Worry No More! – My New Book is Out!

After many months of writing, editing, and working with my designer on the cover, I am excited to tell you my new book is out and is already an international bestseller!

“Worry No More! 4 Steps to Stop Worrying and Start Living” is the title and much of the book is about what I had to do mentally and physically to keep my sanity while recovering from cancer last year.

I’m honored that several New York Times bestselling authors and experts in the stress-management field have endorsed my book. Their approval of and praise for the book was further confirmation of what I already felt in my heart while writing it–this is a message that the world needs read!

Going into this holiday weekend, I am launching the book under the theme of “Declare your independence and set yourself free from the bondage of worry!” We all spend far too much time in the self-imposed prison of worrisome thoughts and this book can help you set yourself free so you can focus on really living!

I would love for you to get a copy for yourself and ask your friends, family, and social media followers to do the same. The Kindle version is only 99 cents and the paperback is 50% off through July 6th.

You can purchase the book on Amazon.com here: http://amzn.to/1LTal7h

To learn more about the book, or order a signed copy, visit www.WorryNoMoreBook.com

Here’s to you creating an awesome, worry-free life!

Much love!
Bruce

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Core Values: Know Them, Live By Them!

My oldest son recently received a very high honor: His school’s Core Values award. To be recognized as standing out from the crowd, not giving in to peer pressure and living in sync with an established set of core values makes me extremely proud as a father. I want my boys to have core values. Ultimately, I don’t care what their political and religious beliefs are, I don’t care what they choose as a career, as long as all of these are in alignment with their own core values.

“It’s better to know who you are than to know where you are going.” – Jim Collins, author

What are core values and why are they important?

Athletes know that strengthening core muscles is vital to all athletic performance. Your abdominal muscles control your balance and posture. In life, it’s just as important to strengthen your core values. They define who you are and give you balance and posture as you pursue your dreams.

What are the things you stand for and believe in? Integrity, honesty, respect, accountability, love? If you don’t know your core values, I highly encourage you to do some soul searching. I want you to decide what your values are. I want you to be so convinced of them that you own them, that you are able to stand strong in them. It is when you truly own your belief system that you become who you were uniquely created to be.

When you are living in accordance to your core values you feel light. Your soul sings! It gives you energy and happiness that does not come from anything outside you. When you’re living contrary to those core values you lose energy. You feel a heaviness and a darkness within. Your soul feels regret in the choices that are made outside of your beliefs. When you are living without regret, you are living in accordance to your values.

My purpose statement is “to love, serve, and add value to the lives of others.” Everything I do, everything I write, every podcast I produce are done with my purpose statement in mind. I know that, when I am living according to my purpose and values, I can be happy and confident regardless of my circumstances or the people I am around. I have learned to simply leave situations in which people are behaving in a way that is contrary to my values. It is not a negative judgement against them. It is a protective action for me, and ultimately a gift to them and the world. When I am in sync with my values I improve and everything around me improves. The same is true for you!

You know when you meet someone who is confident in who they are, what they are, and why they exist on this planet! They operate with integrity to themselves. You can tell they are living in accordance with their core values. Positive energy radiates from them. They are not seeking approval from others. They have found happiness within.

When you live according to your core values, you stand out from the crowd. You are different and people notice. Sometimes this is uncomfortable. Be strong and believe in yourself. Know what you believe so you can stand on your own despite peer pressure. You will ultimately be happier when you are true to yourself in every situation.

Let me be candid. I am not perfect. My friends and family know me. They know my shortcomings, my mistakes, and my failures. I spent so much of my life living a lie and telling lies that it took me a long time to get back to the truth. We are human. None of us are perfect. We see evidence of core values within ourselves when we recognize we have strayed and take steps to get back into alignment. If you are doing something right now that is not in keeping with your core values, it’s time to realign. I love a line from the song Collide by Howie Day, “even the best fall down sometimes”. And it’s true.

“Man’s greatest glory lies not in never falling, but in rising every time he falls.” – Vince Lombardy

If you are living outside your core values – take a breath and get back up. Start living in accordance with your core values. You can do this! Every single day is a day to start over. Every day is a day you can attempt to make yourself a better person than you were yesterday. You are responsible for your actions and behaviors – own them! Change them! Make right what can be made right, and let the rest go. You can’t change how other people feel. All you can do is change you.

The overwhelming majority of my life coaching clients are struggling because they have spent most of their lives trying to be what other people expected them to be. My job is to help them tap into who they truly are and start living in sync with that – to be the fullest expressions of who they were created to be.

Know your values, know what your non-negotiables are, and know what your deal breakers are. Be willing to walk away in social or professional situations. That can be awkward, but it’s better than compromising your values. Learn to find peace and contentment within yourself.

Know your core values, know yourself, and love yourself.

Core Values: Know Them, Live By Them! appeared first on Bruce Van Horn.

Let’s Get Engaged!

People never lose the ability to dream, we just quit doing it. If that’s you, it’s time to start dreaming again!

As children, dreaming about the future life we want to live is something that comes naturally. As we grow and mature, we experience life–hardships, disappointments and pain. Because of these things we stop dreaming.

Very often we get knocked down. We suffer loss and disappointment. We tend to give up on those dreams.  I know. If you have heard or read my story before, you know I have suffered many losses. I have been beaten up, beaten down, knocked over, and had the rug pulled out from under my feet. By the time I reached my early 40’s, I decided staying down was easier than getting up again. Because I had made so many mistakes, bad choices, and had things happen to me–some as a direct result of my choices, and some that were beyond my control–I had adopted a victim mentality.

Now I know failure is something that happens, but it is not who we are. It is not what defines us unless we choose to allow it to.

In November of 2005, my older brother came in town to run the Richmond Marathon. After the marathon, my brother said something to me that completely changed my life. He didn’t know the impact his words would have on me. All he said was, “Bruce, you should run a marathon.” I laughed at him! I thought that was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard! I was overweight and out of shape. I worked from home. I didn’t even like to drive 26.2 miles unless I was going on vacation! Then he said, “The hardest thing about running a marathon is making the decision to try!”

That was the beginning of my story of personal transformation. I didn’t start marathon training the next day, but I reengaged my life in a way I hadn’t before. I thought to myself, if my older brother can run marathons, I can at least join a gym and get in better shape so I can play with my boys without getting tired.

In the process of exercising, I realized the only way I was going to make some physical changes in my life was actually to make mental changes. My brother’s words came crashing like a wave down on top of me. “The hardest thing about running a marathon is making the decision to try.” His words made me realize, though there would always be things in my life beyond my control, I was not a victim unless I chose to be a victim.

I learned there were many things I could actively control. I could always control the way I perceived what happened to me, the story that I told myself about my life.

The difficult things I had experienced–the hard relationships, financial difficulties, losses, death of a child–had convinced me I was being punished by God! But I wasn’t.

The things you think were sent to break you, may be the very things sent to make you who you are meant to be. Instead of things that have come to destroy you, they are things that have come into your life to refine the gold you are made of. They are a course correction to get you off a path that was not meant for you.

God is constantly guiding us in the direction we should go. Sometimes those paths are painful, but there is always a purpose. Sometimes we veer away and go down a path of our own choosing and God places people or situations in our path to move us back to the path He meant for us.

There is no such thing as rejection. There is only protection. There is no such thing as failure, there is only data.

You get what was meant for you. Times of rejection or failure were really protection. The failures have made you smarter, they have given you data you can use in the future. The things I used to think were mistakes, were not mistakes. They were part of me becoming who I needed to become. Without them I wouldn’t be saying the things I need to say to you today.

One of my favorite songs is Home by Rich Mullins. He describes being caught in a storm outside at night and is scared for his life. When the storm is over he sees what he survived.

“Everything that could be shaken was shaken, now all that remains is all I ever really had.”

How do you evaluate the aftermath of a storm in your life? When the storms of life come, you may lose many things–relationships, people, health, even the clothes on your back. But if you are still alive, you have what it takes to rebuild and create a life better than you ever imagined. The song goes on to say:

“What I’d have settled for, you’ve blown so far away. What you brought me to I thought I could not reach.”

That’s my life. I never dreamed I would be a life coach with hundreds of thousands of followers on Twitter and Facebook. Thousands of people, every day, are listening to my podcast in 180 countries around the world. This is a life I never dreamed I would have. I thought life would just be the storms. The song goes on:

“Now the things you sent to shake me, become the wings you sent to take me to my home.”

Though he didn’t know it, what my brother was really saying to me almost 10 years ago in the darkest part of my life was “Bruce, it’s time to get up. It’s time to engage. It’s time to dance this dance of life. Make the most of it. Time to stop being the victim and live the life that you want, instead of accepting and dreading the life you get.”

Now I’m back in the game. I have reengaged with life and I realize I am on the journey I was meant to be on. The storms you are going through right now are stripping away the things you are not supposed to have, making room for the things you ARE meant to have.

I know you’re tired. I know you’re hurting and afraid to get back in the game. There is always a risk you might be hurt again.

Do it anyway.

I need you, your loved ones need you, and the world needs you to re-engage with life, with love and with the dance of living. Let’s do it! Let’s get engaged!

——————

You may also listen to me talk about this on my “Life Is A Marathon” podcast: LIAM 094 – Let’s Get Engaged!

Let’s Get Engaged! appeared first on Bruce Van Horn.

Premeditated Living

I want to talk about the word “premeditation.” I want you to understand and fully engage in premeditated living.

The word premeditation has two parts. It is the prefix “pre,” and the core is the word “meditation.”

So many people have a misconception of what meditation really is. They think it is sitting alone and emptying the mind. That is not what meditation means!

The word “meditation” simply means to think. Meditation is actively, intentionally, thinking, focusing our thoughts on a single thing. When I say “Let me meditate on that” it means, let me still the voices in my head and think about that single thing. It is not emptying the mind. It is concentrating the mind. “Pre” means to think about and plan something before it happens.

Premeditation is thinking about and planning something in advance. On all my social media platforms I use the phrase “living intentionally.” Over the last 8 years, the biggest changes in my life have all been about thought–using thought intentionally to move myself in the direction of the life that I want.

To live the life of my dreams requires that I dream the dream of my life. I have to have intention. I have to have a plan. I have to have thoughts of the life I want in order to create it.

Most of my adult life has been lived reactively. Life was happening to me. You’ve seen the bumper sticker “Life Happens”? Life does happen. But guess what? You can happen to life instead of letting life happen to you. You can be proactive and premeditative about how your life unfolds. I want you to think intentionally, to live premeditatedly, and to think about things before you actually go out and do them.

In any setting in your life you can be intentional, premeditate your day or certain events. Whether it is a big speaking engagement or coaching calls, I take some time beforehand to prepare myself by formulating an intention of what I want to accomplish and generating the energy I need beforehand.

This is something you can do in your own life. You don’t have control over the people around you. But you do have 100% control of yourself. By premeditating what the situation will be, I am stronger in the coming situation. I am not blown about by the attitudes and negativity of other people. I want my positivity to influence them. But if it doesn’t, I don’t let their negativity influence me.

Premeditating and living intentionally allows you to set your energy, allows you to set momentum before the event even happens. In doing this, it is already going in the direction you choose. If you sense it’s not going the way you want it to, you can take intentional steps, maybe even change a couple things you are saying or doing, or ask different questions to try to move it in the direction you wish.

Whether you are having dinner with friends, parenting, dealing with problems, relating happy news, little changes or huge life changes – premeditating a desired outcome works!

How many times have you been out with friends and everyone is talking and having a great time, but the group discussion turns negative? With proper intention, circumstances can be steered back towards positivity. Having a desired outcome allows you to control the situation. Though you can’t control people, you can always control you and it’s easier to do when you’ve thought about it in advance.

I am not talking about becoming a person who can’t do anything at the last minute. Premeditative thinking can happen in minutes or seconds before an event or activity, or even after something has already begun. It is not something that needs to hold you back. I want you to enjoy life and be spontaneous! Once you are there, create an intention.

For most of my adult life, I just let life happen to me. I didn’t have strong intentions. I didn’t have premeditated ideas about how I wanted my life to happen. I had vague dreams and wishes, I had wants. But I had not set any specific intentions about what exactly my life would look like. I didn’t know what steps I would take to make sure those things happened. My life didn’t become what I wanted it to be until I started living it with intention.

Happen to your life instead of life happening to you. You can do that by premeditative living.

You are unique and will make an amazing contribution in the world. Are you making the contribution you want to make? Time to live intentionally!

——————

You may also listen to me talk about this on my “Life Is A Marathon” podcast: LIAM 092 – Premeditated Living

Premeditated Living appeared first on Bruce Van Horn.

My Nightly Routine: Programming My Mind with Good Thoughts

I have talked a lot about the importance of having a morning routine. Getting your day off to a good start is so important! I have a routine I do almost every morning prepare me for the day. It includes things like exercising, stretching, journaling, meditating, and reviewing both my daily and life goals. My morning routine establishes the energy I want to bring into each day.

But I have never talked specifically about what you should do at the end of the day.

I think what you do at the end of the day, within twenty minutes of your head hitting the pillow, are arguably the most important minutes of your entire day. What you think and feel during those few minutes right before you go to bed are programming your mind for how you will wake up in the morning.

“At the end of the day you can focus on what’s tearing you apart or what’s holding you together” – Zig Ziglar

What do you do right before you go to bed? What is your nightly routine?

If you’re getting between 6 to 8 hours of sleep a night, it averages out that we spend 25% – 30% of our lives asleep. While our bodies are asleep, our minds are not. When we are sleeping, our subconscious mind is very much at work.

Scientists and doctors have discovered the thoughts we are thinking, the feelings we are feeling, the images that we put into our brain or conjure up in our conscious mind right before we go to sleep are predominantly what our brain processes when asleep.

Let’s suppose you’ve been out late and you know you have to get up early the next morning. If you go to sleep telling yourself you are going to be tired in the morning – guess how you will wake up? You have programmed yourself to wake up tired.

You might be thinking – no I really am tired because I didn’t get enough sleep. Here’s an experiment you can do: Tell yourself you’re going to feel great when you get up in the morning and see what happens!

If you go to bed thinking the next day will be bad – guess what it’s going to be? If you’ve gone to bed angry with your kids or spouse, you will wake up in the morning thinking about those things. Your conscious mind wants to pick up right where it left off. Your subconscious mind processed all those feelings or images while you were sleeping. If you go to bed beating yourself up over mistakes, or a failure that day, you will wake up feeling those things.

The thoughts you are thinking when you go to bed are programming yourself for how you will wake up.

Years ago I stopped watching the evening news because I realized I went to bed with images of war, a bad economy, murder or crime. Those are not the thoughts I want in my head any time of day, but especially not at night. It is not what I want my subconscious mind thinking about.

This is not a new idea. Even thousands of years ago, God and the writers of the Bible knew about the poison negativity puts in to your mind, “Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” (Ephesians 4:26).

Would you agree with me that negativity is toxic and poisonous to your soul? Why would you put any of those things into your mind at bedtime? Would you knowingly put some type of acid on your skin and go to bed without washing it off? Would you knowingly go to bed with something in your mouth that you knew would erode your teeth? Of course not. The psychological effects of going to bed with negative images in your mind is just as destructive.

Whenever possible, don’t let the sun go down on your anger. If you’ve been fighting with your kids or spouse, find some sort of resolution before bed. Tell them you love them, find some way to bring peace before bedtime. Maybe the issue isn’t resolved, but set it on the nightstand for the night and show one another some love. You need to replace the negative with positive.

What I do in the morning is important.

Part of my morning routine is journaling. The most important part of my journaling is my gratitude log. Every single morning, I make a list of things I am grateful for, things I would miss if they were taken away from me.

What I do at night is just as important.

I keep what I call a victory log. Even when I am exhausted, I still do a daily review. I think about my day. I think about the things I have done during my day that went well and I make a note of them. If I made a great presentation, if a podcast went well, if a coaching call went well – I will jot down a few lines about my victories and things that made me happy. I never ever write down my failures or mistakes. I only write my victories, the things I am proud of and want more of in my life. We get more of what we focus on.

Tonight, go to bed focused on the good things that happened today, the things you want more of in your life. That’s what I want more of for you, nothing but the best!

I’d like to know what works for you! What is your night-time routine?

——————

You may also listen to me talk about this on my “Life Is A Marathon” podcast: LIAM 091 – My Nightly Routine: Programming My Mind with Good Thoughts

My Nightly Routine: Programming My Mind with Good Thoughts appeared first on Bruce Van Horn.

You CAN Control Your Thoughts!

Have you ever gone to see a particular movie at a multiplex and realized, after it started, that it wasn’t what you expected? Either you weren’t in the mood for it or you realized it wasn’t appropriate because you had your kids with you, so you decided you didn’t have to sit through it? So you got up, left that theater, and walked down the hall to find another movie to enjoy instead? I have done that on numerous occasions!

As a life coach, I encounter many people who use the phrase “I just can’t stop thinking about…” or “I just can’t get something out of my mind.” Have you done that?

I admit I am a recovering worrier! I have worried about so many things in my life.

I want to share with you a tool I’ve learned to apply in my own life to stop being wrapped up in all-consuming, negative thoughts and start living again.

You need to be aware of using absolute language. Phrases like “I can’t” or “I always” program us to focus on the negative in a way that we think cannot be changed. Be aware that your language reflects what’s inside you–your mindset. Nothing is set in stone unless we make it so. Why not think positive?

When on a life coaching call with a client who expresses they are dwelling on negativity, I ask them a few questions before addressing their worries. I ask them to tell me something that has happened in the last week or month that really made them laugh or something that made them very happy! This person will start telling me a story in vivid detail as they replay the movie of their memory. As they tell me, they are smiling and reliving that moment. Their entire countenance changes as they recall those positive moments.

Take a moment and think about something in your life that has recently made you happy. Guess what you just did! You stopped thinking about the thing that was worrying you! You just controlled your mind.

You CAN control your thoughts!

When you say “I can’t stop thinking” about something that happened to you–you lost your job, your friend was mean to you, or you worry about the future of your children–you are making a choice to dwell on those things. Your thoughts don’t control you unless you decide to let them. If you keep watching the movie in your mind that you don’t want to see, that is your choice. But you CAN get up and go watch a different movie. The fact that visualizing something that makes you happy, when I ask you to so, proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that you CAN think different thoughts. You just have to intentionally change your focus.

The thing you are worried about in your future, hasn’t happened yet. The likelihood of it happening is really no different than the likelihood of something wonderful happening! You get to choose which movies you play in your head. You get to write the script of that movie. If you’re thinking about the future, why not think about a future that makes you feel good?

You CAN do it! Does it take practice? Yes. Do you have to catch yourself when thinking negative thoughts? Yes. But you can think any thought you want to think. You are in control. When you work on eliminating the negative phrases like “I can’t stop thinking…”, your mind will find the room for new and positive possibilities.

Don’t sit through a movie you don’t want to watch. Use your creative imagination to visualize a beautiful future, rather than a negative imagination which only creates a dark, gloomy future. What happens is all up to you!

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You may also listen to me talk about this on my “Life Is A Marathon” podcast: You CAN Control Your Thoughts

You CAN Control Your Thoughts! appeared first on Bruce Van Horn.

I Want You to be Victorious!

I want to start by asking you a question. How are you? No really, how ARE you? Are you tired? Are you worn down? Are you feeling stressed out? Are you merely living from one day to the next, hoping you can just get through the end of the day and go to bed? Is the highlight of your day going to bed? Do you dread having to wake up in the morning and go through the day all over again?

If that is you, I want you to know something. I have been there. I get it. When you string together days of going through the motions they become weeks, weeks become months, and months become years. I have been in that place for most of my adult life. Today’s message is something I want you to hear. There is hope. You don’t have to live that way! You can make a difference!

Here’s what I want for you: I want you to live victoriously. I want you to have a victorious life, not a defeated victim life. I want you to win! I want you to succeed. I want you to be everything that you want to be. I want you to have dreams and visions for your life with the mindset you can actually attain them. So many of us have vague wants. We want our lives to be fun, to be something special. But deep in our hearts we don’t know how to do it. Or we don’t really think it’s possible.

It is possible!

You might be asking how you can possibly be victorious when you are exhausted, stressed, and beaten down by life. There is a great quote from the book The Art of War by Sun Tzu. “Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.”

Do you see the difference there? That was my life. I had gone to war, I was in the battle just reacting to my life. I used to talk about my life as if I was a 100 pound weakling in a boxing ring with a world champion heavyweight fighter. While I wasn’t getting killed, I was getting pummeled. I was defensive with my arms up, blocking and hoping I wasn’t going to be knocked out. Some of you are getting beat down to the mat day after day and all you’re hoping for is the bell to ring so you can crawl to your corner and get a glass of water.

I want to be your corner man. I want to be the guy who tells you “you can do this!”

What you’ve got to do is make a plan. You’ve got to stop living reactively and create a strategy for your life. You must have vision.

What do you want for your life?

The secret is visualizing the end game. Picturing the life you want to be living five years from now, ten years from now, a hundred years from now. Put yourself in the future and think about the past. When you are at the end of your life, what kind of impact do you want to have made on the world? What does your family and career look like? What have you accomplished? That’s really what it’s all about.

I want you to have vision.

I understand that when you are beaten down and going through the motions, you develop a certain kind of myopia.

I love the word myopia. Myopia is the technical phrase for nearsightedness, when you see things clearly that are close to you, but everything off in the distance is blurry. It is a great metaphor for living for today. You may have a clear vision for what today looks like, but you don’t really have a long range plan. Everything in the future looks blurry.

I love the phrase by F. Mathias Alexander: “People do not determine their futures, they determine their habits, and their habits determine their futures.” We develop our habits based on our belief systems. It is our belief systems that really dictate how far we think out in the future. I’m not talking about a religious viewpoint; I’m talking about what you believe about your life in general. What is your world view? Do you have an optimistic outlook on life, or are you pessimistic? When I shifted my perspective to being an optimist and thinking everyone on the planet is awesome until they prove me otherwise, my life started to turn around and I started to get more of the things I wanted. That’s what I want for you!

I’ve had a lack of consistent success in my life, and the main reason is I did not have the habits that were necessary to create consistent success. I didn’t put the habits in place because I did not have a clear vision for what I wanted my life to be. I was wandering, following what felt good in the moment. What felt good in the short run was not ultimately in my best interest in the long run.

I needed to break free from my myopia and develop a long range vision, rather than the short range questions. When I broke through that mentality is when my life started to change. I had to truly imagine what I wanted my life to be. I hadn’t really used my imagination since I was a child. Most adults stop imagining, dreaming, and pretending. Somewhere along the line as children an adult probably told you “You just need to grow up and stop pretending.” But I’m here to tell you it’s time to start dreaming again! It’s time to start imagining and pretending what you want life to be. It’s through pretending that we actually start to develop the habits to become those things. Wake up every day thinking thoughts like: “I am going to be a superhero today, I am going to do good wherever possible, I am going to help others, lift people up!” Start every day with intention. Whatever your desire for your life is, your dream is worth pursuing!

I want you to live your life, not the life your parents said you should live, not the way your spouse or best friends think you should live. Be who you want to be. That will ultimately be your greatest gift to the world. If you read or listen to interviews with people who have done amazing things, they all have one thing in common: they visualized their dreams. They saw themselves doing it, they dreamed about them night after night. They held to their vision and developed the habits necessary to achieve it. They never let go. The most important thing they did was seeing themselves already doing it. That’s what I want for you.

I want you to take some time out of your day to think about exactly what you want out of your life. Write it down, make a life plan. That was the problem in my own life. I was reacting with no real specific intention. Now I live intentionally with a vision for my life. I know how to show up. I know what kind of energy I need to turn on every morning when I wake up. If you know where you are going, everything you choose becomes a fulfillment of your purpose.

You can live victoriously! Think like Sun Tzu – think like a victorious warrior.

Have a plan. Visualize your life. Victorious warriors see themselves winning first, then they go to war, where it is just a matter of acting out everything they have already visualized. As you visualize your life you will develop the habits necessary to change your life into a long term series of successes.

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You may also listen to me talk about this on my “Life Is A Marathon” podcast: I Want You to be Victorious!

I Want You to be Victorious! appeared first on Bruce Van Horn.