Debbie Sue Goodman's Blog, page 2
January 12, 2020
‘Ask Debbie Sue’ Dating advice with author & comedian Debbie Sue Goodman
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON PATCH.com
I hope all my readers had a wonderful Holiday. Happy New Year! So far, the weather has been pretty good and warmer than most winters. This weekend we have some snow & sleet. I look forward to spring. I won an Oscar-related award for, ‘Best Comedian.’ I’m very happy & honored to win this award! A huge, ‘Thank you’ to my dear friend, Sandra. This month’s column is about dating someone that becomes possessive and what to do about it. Many of my female readers have asked what they should do if they’re dating a guy that wants to know their where-abouts every day & becomes too possessive. Perhaps these guys are insecure or they behave this way for other reasons. But, whatever the reason is for their behavior, it is best to move on and date someone else. If your first instinct tells you that something isn’t right, then go with your first instinct.
‘I’m 27 years old and dating a man the same age for a little over a month. He started out fine. We have great times together when we go out alone with no one else. When we go out for pizza & movies together, he’s fine. When we’re out with other friends, on a double date, he becomes possessive and doesn’t trust me. He thinks I’m dating other guys. I told him he’s the only guy I’m dating. He doesn’t believe me. He’s become possessive. If I don’t see him for one night, He wants me to ‘prove’ that I’m not with anyone else. He questions my whereabouts and doesn’t believe anything I tell him. I had plans to go with a girlfriend for drinks & appetizers after work one night. He asked me to show him the receipt! He asked me for my friends name & asked why I went out with her. Now, he wants me to tell him where I go everyday after work. Even if I’m going to the grocery store. He started out being a decent guy, but this new behavior is un-called for. Not sure if I should date him anymore.’
Sign me- ‘Unsure’
Dear Unsure, I dated a guy many years ago that got very possessive and didn’t trust me after going out together for only 2 weeks. He called me several times a day & left messages if I didn’t answer. I made plans with a girlfriend to go out to dinner. He kept calling my cell phone & left a message asking where I was and who I was with. The following day I met him for lunch to ask why he was behaving this way. He was speaking very loudly in the restaurant and said, “Why didn’t you go to dinner with ME last night?!” I knew the guy was not for me. I didn’t go out with him anymore. If you’re having doubts about dating that guy, go with your instincts. You know he’s not the right one for you. This is a perfect example of a toxic relationship. A healthy relationship is based on trust and respect. I would move on and end this relationship now. Good luck to you!
To the reader who wants to remain anonymous: If the guy you’re dating has no table manners & he burps in front of you & picks at his fingernails & removes his shoes when you’re out to dinner, tell him how you feel. Explain to him that you don’t like the way he is behaving. You say you’ve enjoyed his company but that he has no table manners. Tell him you enjoy his company but you don’t feel comfortable with these habits that he has. It sounds like you would like to date him if he stops these disgusting habits. If he cares about himself & your feelings, he may change the way he behaves in restaurants. Have a talk with him & give him a chance to change the habits that bother you. No-one is perfect, but if everything else about him keeps you going with him & makes you happy, then tell him how you feel. Good luck to you!
Until next time.. ‘Keep Smiling!’
January 9, 2020
October 25, 2019
October 24, 2019
September 21, 2019
‘Ask Debbie Sue’ Dating advice with author & comedian Debbie Sue Goodman
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON PATCH.com
I hope everyone is having a nice month. Time flies by so fast. Summer is almost over already. The weather is cooling down. I’ve been keeping busy. I’m very honored to be nominated for, ‘Best Comedian’ for an ‘Oscars-related’ event on December 1, 2019!
I am very lucky to have wonderful male & female friends in my life. I’ve been getting numerous letters from my readers asking for ideas on how to find ‘Mr.’ or ‘Miss Right.’ For anyone that doesn’t want to try online dating, there are other ways to try to meet that special someone. Perhaps joining a Meet-up group with others that have the same interests you have. If you like playing board games, join a group that plays board games. If you like playing volleyball, join a group that plays Volleyball. There’s probably a Meet-up group for any hobby you enjoy. Even if you don’t find a partner to share your life with, it can be a fun way to meet new friends too. At my comedy appearances and author events everyone in the audience is always so friendly and they tell me about their dating experiences. Some married couples tell me how they found that ‘special someone’ to spend their life with. In my comedy show, Besides doing my celebrity impressions, I talk about different humorous dating experiences & fun ways to meet someone. The following date is from my first book. (When pay phones were still around.)
I found out you can meet a date in unusual places. For instance, I was standing in line at my local post office, minding my own business when the guy in front of me turned around. He was holding a bunch of envelopes. He said, “With a face like that, I feel like I can tell you anything.” He said, “I’m going to tell you everything.” He continued, “I lost my last four jobs, yep they fired me. I’m mailing out six resumes and my car was re-possessed.” So, I gave him my phone number. Not sure why, he looked like a nice guy. He called me up the next day and I heard a strange noise in the background. It sounded like a washer and dryer. Sure enough, he said, “I’m calling you from the local Laundromat, on a pay phone. They took my phone away. I only have a minute to talk because I’m running out of change. But, I’d like to take you out on a date… For a WALK!” I replied, “A WALK?! I don’t do things like THAT on the first date…“
To the reader that asked to be anonymous: You say the guy you’ve been dating for a month is criticizing your clothes, your hair & your shoes every time you go out with him? He showed you photos of his ex & wants you to wear the same style clothes & have the same hair style? He’s telling you to change your hair color? First, you didn’t mention if you ever asked him why he’s criticizing everything you wear & your hair. It sounds like he’s trying to ‘change’ you. You said he’s divorced & he mentioned his ex-wife several times since you’ve been dating him. It sounds like he’s trying to turn you into his x-wife. From everything you’ve said, it’s very apparent that this guy clearly is not over his ex. The best advice I could give you is to speak to him about his behavior. Tell him you’re not changing your style for him or anyone. He needs to like you just the way you are. If he can’t change this pattern of behavior then it’s best for you to move on. There are plenty of guys out there that will enjoy your company & not want to ‘change’ you into something or someone you’re not. Good luck to you!
Until next time.. Have a wonderful week and “Keep Smiling!”
Debbie Sue
October 26, 2019- Join Debbie Sue & her friends for a fun, ‘Pre-Halloween’- Evening of Comedy & Music.’ At: Euro Echo Café 7919 Lincoln Ave in Skokie. No cover charge (Costumes Optional)
September 4, 2019
July 21, 2019
‘Ask Debbie Sue’ Dating advice with author & comedian Debbie Sue Goodman
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON PATCH.com
I hope everyone is having a wonderful summer. Every week I receive
many e-mails from readers that have asked questions about, how to search
for the right man or woman to date. I find that if you’re engaging in
activities you enjoy, Mr. or Miss Right may be there enjoying the same
activities. Go dancing, skiing, bowling, golfing- whatever you’re
interests are and perhaps your soul mate will be there. If not, at least
you’re doing something that you enjoy. In my comedy shows I sometimes
talk about some unusual dates my mom went on when she became a widow.
She has been deceased for over 5 years now. Her spirit & her love is
in my heart forever. I miss her so much & I think about all the
things she shared with me. When she tried dating after being a widow for
many years, she went on some humorous dates. She went out with one guy
that met her & he was wearing green slacks, green shirt, green tie,
green socks & ordered green tea!
Many years ago, I had a
date with a guy I met at the health club. This date is also included in
my book, ‘Still Dating.’ I found out you can meet someone single, in a
fun way. I enjoy walking and working out every day.
I met a guy while walking the track at my health club. We made plans to meet for dinner at a restaurant in a shopping mall.
We met inside the restaurant. He wore a BLUE
shirt and BLUE jeans. We sat at a table, talked and waited for our food
to arrive. He showed me his BLUE cell phone holder. He told me he
bought a new condo. He put in BLUE carpeting. He painted his condo
walls- BLUE. He talked during dinner about his condo. He asked if I
would join him while he went to a store in the mall that carried kitchen
items. I went with him. We entered the store and he yelled, “I see what
I want!” I followed him. He pointed to BLUE silverware, BLUE plates,
BLUE napkins and BLUE glasses. He bought everything!
While the
salesgirl was putting the items in the bag he asked, “Where would you
like to go now?” I replied, “How about a BLUES bar?”
Dear Debbie Sue: “This past month, I’ve been going out with a guy that keeps wearing the same dirty jeans, wrinkled dirty shirts and his car is a mess! He’s in his late 50’s. I’m younger then him. I like being with him and our conversations are good. But, I can’t stand his clothes. He doesn’t care about his appearance at all. Nothing matches. He doesn’t comb his hair. He takes a toothpick & picks at his teeth when we eat out. He burps loudly & has no manners. Yet for some reason, I still go out with him. I’ve dated other guys that cared about their appearance. They wore clean shirts & their car was clean. But, with those guys, I never enjoyed the conversations. I don’t understand why I’m dating this guy. He’s kind and seems to like me. He brings me flowers. He’s good to his family. Not sure what I should do. Should I break up with him and find a less sloppy guy?” Denise
Dear Denise: Through the years, I’ve had many readers ask me what to do if they’re dating a slob. Even men have asked me questions about what to do when they’re dating a sloppy woman. One guy went back to his date’s apartment & it was a total mess. It was a deal breaker for him. Sometimes, it’s best to give the relationship a chance. No one is perfect. You mentioned that you enjoy his conversations and his kindness. You don’t sound like you want to break up with him. But, on the other hand, you are upset about his hygiene, sloppy clothes & messy car. Perhaps you can give him a ‘hint’ and tell him you would like to see him in a ‘new’ shirt. Then, if he wears a nice clean shirt on your next date tell him you think he looks great. He’ll enjoy the compliment. Give him another ‘hint’ and suggest that he use floss in the men’s room instead of picking his teeth at the table. Ask him to say, ‘excuse me’ if he burps in front of you. You can tell him you both can go to the car wash together because you like a guy with a clean car. I think with these subtle ‘hints’ your new guy will come around and he’ll want to look good for you and make you happy. I would give this relationship a chance. Since it sounds like he cares for you a great deal.
Dear ‘Anonymous’: You said you have been dating your boyfriend for a year & he’s telling you ‘lies.’ You say he keeps secrets from you. It’s obvious, that he is not being honest with you. He comes home late from playing baseball with his buddies. He goes to bars on the weekends without you & comes home late. He calls you when he gets home in the middle of the night & you’re sleeping. It’s possible, he is seeing another woman. You’re in your early forties. He’s in his early twenties. The best thing to do would be to ask him if he’s seeing anyone else. Hopefully, he’ll be honest & tell you the truth. Perhaps he is afraid to tell you because he doesn’t want to lose you. If you still want to see him, you can always be his friend. If friendship isn’t enough for you with this guy, then say goodbye to him & move on. Good luck to you!
Until next time.. ‘Keep Smiling!’
Debbie Sue
May 22, 2019
May 11, 2019
‘Ask Debbie Sue’ Dating advice with author & comedian Debbie Sue Goodman
Debbie Sue and her mom, Lois. Debbie’s book “Still Single” is dedicated to her mom.
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON PATCH.com
I hope everyone is having a good spring even though the weather feels like it’s still winter. I hope it warms up soon. I do enjoy the 60’s & 70’s type of weather though. This month’s column is dedicated to my beautiful Mom who passed away 5 years ago. I can’t believe how fast time flies by. The photo on the top of this column was always one of my favorite photos of my Mom & I. It was taken on Mother’s Day several years ago when we went out for brunch. I’m enclosing a poem I wrote to my Mom many years ago. It’s also included in my first book, ‘Still Single.’ It’s called,
My Mom My Angel
How can I thank you for always being there?
To offer your special, sweet loving care.
You are always around,
To put a smile over my frown.
You ease my heartache and troubles by talking them out,
You always know what I’m worried about.
My Mom My Angel, you show your love in such a special way, I want to thank you my Angel, if I may.
For the kindness & caring you show me each day.
For the loving things you do and say.
Everyone loves your class and grace, your charity and beauty, the kind of lady little girls want to be. As a Mom and friend you are so kind, giving sharing and loving, people can see, I’m your daughter and so proud to be!
My Mom my Angel, you show your love in such a special way, I want to thank you my Angel if I may. For the kindness and caring you show me each day, for the loving things you do and say.
My Mom, a lady so special, so sweet, you won my heart. You are my life, it’s true,
As a gift, If I could, I’d wrap up all the love in the world and give it to you!
Happy Mother’s Day, My beautiful Mom, My Angel up in heaven.
I love you and miss you so much!
Dear Debbie Sue: ‘ My mom has been divorced for 10 years. She’s in her late 70’s. She met a man while she was getting her hair done at the beauty shop. He was getting a manicure. She invited him over for dinner one night & asked me to join them. She wanted me to meet him. She told me he was a bit older then her. I went to her condo for dinner & met him. He hardly spoke. He was a quiet man. He was shorter then my mom & hardly had any hair. He had sideburns. He looked much older then her. I’m very surprised my mom would be attracted to a man like this. He’s much different then my dad was. She really likes him. They’ve been dating about a month now. Should I say anything to her about my feelings? I’m worried she may end up in a serious relationship with this man. Please sign me: Worried about momma.‘
Dear Worried: From what it sounds like, there’s really no reason to be worried about your momma. She’s a grown woman that can make decisions on her own. It’s up to her to decide who she wants to spend her time with. It sounds like she enjoys this mans company & he sounds like he’s a good man for her to date. If they don’t wind up in a ‘serious relationship’ at least your momma has a nice companion to hang out with. Don’t compare him to your dad. Every man is unique in their own way. Be happy for her & let her enjoy this mans company. She’ll always be your mom. I’m sure she would want you to be happy for her just like she would want you to be happy in your own life too.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there!
Until next time…
Keep Smiling!
Debbie Sue
April 19, 2019
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