Callum McLaughlin's Blog, page 57

Obsession / Repression

‘One…’

I harbour secret scars –

no tell-tale silken, puckered skin.

‘Two…’

I dare you to look within my clouded eyes,

to see beyond the film of dread

and tell me they are any less real.

‘Three…’

Thought. Fear. Release. Regret.

Thought. Fear. Release. Regret.

A slave to patterns of absurdity,

I scramble to lose myself in symmetry.

‘Did I already say three?.. One…’

I harbour secret scars –

they cut, they weep, they haunt me.

You won’t find me by the kitchen sink:

Scrub. Scrub. Scrub.

It doesn’t always work like that.

‘Two…’

We’ve been here before, I know.

but there was no first time; there will be no last,

just round and round and round.

‘Three…’

Do you know what it is to be burned by your own blood?

Crushed by your own ribcage?

A plaything for your own mind?

I hope you don’t.

I wish I didn’t.

‘Four… Five.’

And breathe.

And repeat.

April Wrap Up

All the books I read in April.

April was a month of reading lots of books and buying even more of them, but let’s gloss over that second fact for now and focus on what I read throughout these past 30 days. In total, I managed to finish 13 books: 6 novels, a novella, 2 non-fiction books, a poetry collection, a short story collection and 2 graphic novels. This takes my yearly total up to 48, almost half of my 2016 target, which is nice.

The real highlight for me was The Book Collector by Alice Thompson. In this gothic tale we follow a woman who finds herself trapped in a life that resembles a dark fairy tale, slipping into madness as she attempts to understand her husband’s strange obsession with a book of such stories that he forbids her from viewing, whilst dealing with what would now be understood as postnatal depression. It raises questions about what it means to be insane and the warped control men had over women in our favourite fairy tales, turning the latter on its head in the conclusion.

I also adored Teaching My Mother How to Give Birth, a collection of beautiful, provocative, approachable and passionate poetry by Warsan Shire. I’ll say no more about it other than to share this excerpt which I think speaks for itself:

In Love and In War

to my daughter I will say,

‘when the men come, set yourself on fire’.

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What was your favourite read in April?

Earth Day – Home

Today is Earth Day – a movement designed to encourage celebration and conservation of our natural environment. To show my support, I thought I’d let Mother Nature speak for herself and simply share a few pictures of one of my favourite places in the world: Perthshire, the area of central Scotland which I call home.

I hope you enjoy the snaps and have a lovely Earth Day!

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The sunsets here can be pretty intense.

There’s plenty of nature to enjoy.

We get a fair bit of snow in winter.

And contrary to popular belief, sometimes the sun even shines. Only sometimes, mind you.

Pedestal

Step off your pedestal, dear:

Did you ever stop to wonder

if those tattoos are maps

to help her find her way to freedom;

the piercing of her own flesh

a cry of ownership

in body, mind and soul?

Not every scar is simply

a remnant of a battle lost,

but a trophy of a victory hard fought.

Walls

What use are walls between nations

when what we really need is a wall between our legs

to keep the monsters out.

You see, the real threat already lives amongst us,

lurking in every withered heart ripe for picking.

Where did it all go so wrong?

Yet still we’re telling our sons to douse their hearts in paraffin

and our daughters to polish their glass ceilings

instead of giving them the shoulders and hammers they really need,

planting those seeds of limitation that build in their brains like Lego.

Cut us open and we’ll bleed just the same,

drowning out the screams with sorry rivers of red

that give them waves to ride with sickening hunger,

rising up to their beloved heights.

So you go ahead and build your walls,

I’ll be standing on the other side.

Let’s Recommend | Psychological Books

Let’s recommend books with a psychological twist.

This time round I’ve decided to recommend books that all have a psychological twist; not necessarily thrillers per se, but books that get inside your head or which explore the inner workings of the characters’ minds.

The Boy Who Could See Demons by Carolyn Jess-Cooke

The clever aspect of The Boy Who Could See Demons is that we are never entirely sure whether the young protagonist is truly seeing Ruen – the demon he believes is his best friend – or whether he is suffering from schizophrenia. As Ruen’s influence becomes more and more dangerous, the need to uncover the truth becomes more pressing.

Our Endless Numbered Days by Claire Fuller

Our Endless Numbered Days opens with Peggy returning to civilisation after spending years living in solitude with her survivalist father, who convinced her that the world had ended. The story is told in a dual narrative, flitting between Peggy’s time living in the woods with her obviously unstable father, and her attempts in the present day to re-assimilate into society. With a strong fairy tale vibe and a dark undercurrent, this was a very interesting read.

Bird Box by Josh Malerman

Bird Box plays with the senses and is a perfect example as to the power of the unsaid, or in this case the unseen. The world is falling apart due to something outside which drives anyone who sees it to instant insanity. After years of living in the shadows, we follow Malorie as she blindfolds her young children and heads out in search of safety. Utterly gripping, this book blew me away, with Malorie’s added moral struggles in the quest to keep her children safe adding another layer of depth.

Out by Natsuo Kirino

Written by the ‘Japanese Queen of Crime’, Out is a dark tale that centres around a group of female factory workers who help a colleague cover up the murder of her husband. It explores each woman’s reasons for getting involved and the effects of keeping such a dangerous secret, all whilst making fascinating commentary on issues within Japanese society, such as the role of women and the economic divide.

The Dumb House by John Burnside

A character study of perhaps one of the most disturbed individuals you are likely to encounter in modern literature, The Dumb House follows a man’s warped fascination with the innateness of language and the physical presence of the soul. His quest for knowledge will lead him down an increasingly twisted path, with devastating consequences.

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What are some of your favourite books with a psychological element? Let’s get talking in the comments!

Bodily Bliss

I want to travel the rivers of your palms

and drift upon the oceans in your eyes

joining as one like cosmic constellations,

a bodily bliss of celestial command.

March Wrap Up

All the books I read in March.

March has been another fun and successful reading month. I managed to get through a total of 11 books in all (4 novels, a short story collection, 2 non-fiction books, a poetry collection, 2 graphic novels and one of the Penguin Little Black Classics). This takes me up to 35 books so far this year, which is still well on track to meet my 100 book goal.

There were some great reads in amongst them, but a highlight was probably Iris Grace by Arabella Carter-Johnson. This non-fiction book is about a young girl with severe autism who had little to no communication skills. That is until she began to paint and a whole new world of talent was unlocked. The next big breakthrough came when the family decided to get a cat, sparking an incredible and unbreakable bond. The book, filled with photographs and examples of Iris’ artwork, was written by the girl’s own mother and is beautiful, heart-warming and informative.

Another favourite this month was The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne M. Valente; the first in a series which sees a young girl swept away to a magical world full of charm and whimsy, and yet, like with all good fairy tales, a touch of darkness. It was perfect escapism and Valente’s prose is lovely.

I look forward to seeing what April has in store for me in terms of reading.

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What was your favourite read in March?

Interim

It started with a diagnosis,

now there is but the frayed edge of memory

like a photo left out in the sun,

such simple luxury – taken.

And yet she’s still somehow unknowing,

a gift dressed up in daggers

ready to cut away the past

and muddy waters of the future.

Let’s Recommend | Myth and Fairy Tales

Let’s recommend some myths and fairy tales.

It’s time for the latest in my recommendation series, and as always I encourage you all to recommend some of your own favourite reads within the given genre. As a lover of all things whimsical and enchanting, this time round I have decided to discuss a few of my favourite books surrounding myth and fairy tales.

A Portable Shelter by Kirsty Logan

Inspired by Scottish folk tales, A Portable Shelter is a series of interconnected short stories. The ongoing narrative between each tale sees two women awaiting the birth of their first child who, having promised each other never to lie to the baby, take turns to relay fairy tales, the implication being that there is always truth to be taken from stories. Some of the stories are dark, others are charming, but all are beautifully written and contain important lessons about our own world.

A Wild Swan by Michael Cunningham

This is a very recent read for me and one I thoroughly enjoyed. A Wild Swan sees Cunningham explore the dark, untold parts of classic fairy tales, such as how the witch came to live in a house made of sweets; the difficulty Snow White had living up to the ‘perfect’ image of herself that the Prince fell in love with; the reason behind Rumpelstiltskin’s demand that the Queen give him her firstborn child, and so on.

The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne M. Valente

The first in the Fairyland series, this incredibly charming book sees a young girl swept away on an epic adventure. It has a lot of Wonderland vibes, with all manner of weird and wonderful characters and creatures, most notably A-Through-L, a wyvern so named for the area of the library he grew up in; a kindly creature who believes his mother to have been a dragon and his father a library. Yep, it really is that magical.

The Crane Wife by Patrick Ness

The Crane Wife is inspired by a traditional Japanese folk tale. After a man aids a gravely injured crane in the dead of night, a mysterious woman enters his life. It is both a modern-day story about loneliness and the power of art, and a timeless, beautifully written tale of love, longing and storytelling as a means of great beauty.

The Fairytale Princess by Su Blackwell

Rather than re-imaginings or stories inspired by fairy tales, this book contains seven classic tales as we already know and love them (reworded by Wendy Jones). It is the stunning paper sculptures crafted by the immensely talented Su Blackwell and photographed to form the accompanying illustrations that make this book so special however.

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What are some of your favourite reads inspired by myth and fairy tales? Let’s chat about them.