Marc Chernoff's Blog, page 4

10 “Notes to Self” for Those Times When You’re Taking Things Personally

Let’s start off here with a simple question:

Why do we always take things personally?

There are admittedly quite a few valid reasons to consider. But the one Marc and I have found to be most common through 15 years of working with our coaching clients and live event attendees is the tendency we all have of putting ourselves at the center, and seeing everything — every event, conversation, circumstance, etc. — from the viewpoint of how it relates to us on a personal level. And this can have all kinds of adverse effects, from feeling hurt when other people are rude, to feeling sorry for ourselves when things don’t go exactly as planned, to doubting ourselves when (more…)

6 Effective Things Optimists Often Do Differently

It takes roughly 66 days to form a habit. So for the next 9 weeks look at the bright side of your life, and you will rewire your brain.

If the grass looks greener on the other side…

Stop staring.

Stop comparing.

Stop complaining.

And START watering the grass you’re standing on…

Truly, the most powerful weapon against stress on the average day is our ability to choose one thought or response over another. I was reminded of this today when a reader named Sarah sent me the following in an email (I’m sharing this with permission): (more…)

30 Quotes and Thinking Prompts for Letting Go of What Weighs You Down

Accept yourself, embrace the present, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly in life, you have to let go of things that weigh you down.

Each prompt below contains a quote and question to think about. I have personally used each of these prompts several times in the past to nudge myself into self-reflection, and I continue to revisit them regularly. They bring awareness to the subconscious attachments and assumptions we all have. And they can help you think and move through situations, big and small, so you can let go and make better decisions going forward.

Challenge yourself to read and reflect on one prompt a day for the next few weeks. See how doing so gradually effects your life…

1.

Forgive yourself for the bad decisions you’ve made, for the times you lacked understanding, for the choices that hurt others and yourself. Forgive yourself, for being young and reckless. These are all vital lessons. And what matters most right now is your willingness to grow from them.

What specifically do you (more…)

10 Hard Things that Are Worth Doing for Yourself in Life (Before it’s Too Late)

It always feels better to be exhausted from taking little steps forward, than it does to be tired of doing absolutely nothing.

In 1911 two explorers, Amundsen and Scott, embarked on a race against each other to become the first known human being to set foot upon the southernmost point of Earth. It was the age of Antarctic exploration, as the South Pole represented one of the last uncharted areas in the world. Amundsen wished to plant the Norwegian flag there on behalf of his country, while Scott hoped to stake his claim for England.

The journey there and back from their base camps was about 1,400 miles, which is roughly equivalent to (more…)

5 Painfully Clear Truths About Life We Always Forget Too Quickly

The truth does not cease to exist when it is forgotten or ignored.

You know how you can hear or read something dozens of times in various ways before it finally sinks in? The truths listed below fall firmly into that category — timeless lessons that many of us probably learned years ago, and have been reminded of ever since, yet for whatever reason we tend to forget in the heat of the moment.

This, my friends, is my attempt at helping all of us, myself included, “get it” and “remember it” once and for all…

1. Life is relatively short and nothing is guaranteed.

We know deep down that life is short, and that death will happen to all of us eventually, and yet we are infinitely surprised when it happens to (more…)

3 Basic Lessons Too Many of Us Learn Too Late in Life

“In elementary school my parents told me it didn’t matter what I did when I grew up, so long as it made me happy. ‘Happiness is the whole point of life,’ my father said. ‘But it doesn’t always come easy. Your mother loves to help people in need, so she became a psychiatric nurse. I love reading, writing and poetry, so I became an English teacher. We both find happiness in the hard work we do each day.’

A few years later when I was in junior high, my sixth-grade homeroom teacher put me in detention for ‘being difficult.’ She went around the classroom and asked each student what they wanted to be when they grew up. When she got to me, I told her I wanted to be happy. She told me I was missing the whole point of the question. I told her she was missing the whole point of life.”

That’s an old parable my grandmother (more…)

40 Quotes for Calming the Mind When You Get to a Crossroads in Life

It happens to all of us gradually as we live and grow. We discover more about who we are and the way life is, and then we realize there are some changes we need to make. The lifestyle we’ve been living no longer fits. The environments and relationships we once found comfort in no longer exist, or no longer serve our best interests. So we cherish all the great memories, but find ourselves at a crossroads in life, moving forward.

And it’s not easy. It’s painful to give up what’s comfortable and familiar, especially when there’s no other choice. Marc and I have struggled through this process many times out of necessity. Over the past 16 years we’ve had to deal with several significant, unexpected life changes and challenges, including: (more…)

5 Essential Things to Start Doing for Your Personal Growth and Happiness

Today, start by giving yourself grace and remembering not to judge yourself for how long your journey is taking. We all need our own time to travel our own distance. Every step is necessary, and everyone journeys in their own way…

Some people start their careers right out of college in their early twenties, only to find themselves burnt out and starting over when they reach their early thirties. Others start working minimum wage jobs right out of high school and work their way up the corporate ladder, retiring happily in their mid-sixties. Some people fall in love and get married in their mid-twenties, but wind up divorced a few years later. Others marry in their early forties and spend four decades with (more…)

11 Good Old-Fashioned Relationship Habits We Need to Bring Back Today

Love is great when spoken, but greatest when shown. Do little things daily to show your loved ones you care.

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting on a park bench in the early afternoon when an elderly couple pulled their car up under a nearby oak tree. They rolled down the windows and turned up some jazz music on the car stereo. Then the man got out of the car, walked around to the passenger side, opened the door for the woman, took her hand and guided her about ten feet away from the car, and they slow danced to a song under the oak tree. It was such a beautiful moment to witness.

This morning when I opened my laptop to write, the elderly couple immediately came to mind. I spent a few minutes daydreaming about them, wondering how long they had been together and what their best relationship advice would be. And just as I caught my mind wandering even further off, a new email from a reader named Cory popped up in my inbox. The first line of the email was a question: “Any good old-fashioned advice for strengthening our relationships?”

The synchronicity of my daydreaming and Cory’s question made me smile. So in honor of that beautiful elderly couple, and in service of Cory’s relationship inquiry, here are some good old-fashioned habits we can practice bringing back into our relationships today: (more…)

20 Powerful Life Experiences that Will Make You Think, Smile, and Cry

If we have learned just one thing recently, it’s that we need to be gentle with ourselves and others. We’re all in this world together, and we all get weary at times. Be recklessly gracious!

The wisest and most wonderful people you have ever met are likely those who have been shattered in some way. Yes, life often creates the best humans by breaking them first. It’s the painstaking journey of falling apart and coming back together that fills their hearts and minds with a level of compassion, understanding, and deep-loving wisdom that can’t possibly (more…)