Marc Chernoff's Blog, page 13

10 Mindful Ways to Be Calm When Others Are Out of Control

You can’t calm the storm. What you can do is calm yourself, and the storm will eventually pass.

Calmness is a human superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace, which gradually gives you the upper hand in all walks of life. It’s a daily practice I’ve learned. Over the past several years, I’ve been cultivating calmness in myself — I’ve been taming my tendency to get riled up and argue with people when their behavior doesn’t match my expectations.

As human beings we all have an idea in our heads about how things are supposed to be, and sadly this is what often messes us up the most. We get frustrated when things don’t play out the way we expect them to, and when people don’t behave like they’re “supposed” to. We expect our family to act a certain way, our friends to always be kind, and strangers to be less difficult.

And when reality hits us, and everyone seems to be doing the opposite of what we expect them to do, we get triggered — anger, frustration, arguments, tears, etc.

If you can relate in any way at all right now, it’s time to remind yourself of the truth: (more…)

5 Reasons My 90-Year-Old Grandma Genuinely Smiled on Her Final Day

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
— Mae West

Twenty years ago, I was lucky enough to witness the humble, elegant, peaceful passing of my 89-year-old grandfather. As I sat quietly in his hospice room alongside my grandma and other family members, his nurse smiled softly and said, “I can see he lived well. People his age often pass just the way they lived.”

And as I drove home that evening a couple questions kept cycling through my mind…

“Am I living well?”

“What do I want to be able to smile about on the inside when I’m close to the end?”

These questions are tough, especially the second one. At the time, I struggled to fully accept my own mortality — just thinking about it stressed me out. So I simply avoided the question and the soul-searching it demanded of me. I distracted myself for a few more years until I found myself back in a hospice room with my 90-year-old grandma (who was the most amazing human being I’ve ever met, by the way).

On the final day of her life, (more…)

12 “Sticky Notes” We Should Read Every Morning for Our Peace of Mind

It’s not what you say to everyone else that determines your life; it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the greatest power and influence.

The best lessons we learn in life are the lessons we learn over and over again. The human mind needs lots of reminders — lots of practice — to operate effectively. For example, deep down we know it’s OK to…

Say “no”Speak upTell the truthBelieve differentlyChange our mindPrioritize our needsLearn from our mistakesEmbrace our imperfectionsForgive and seek forgivenessBegin again, stronger than before

Yet, we often do (more…)

8 Wake-Up Calls We All Need to Receive Today Before it’s Too Late

You have come a long way, and you’re still learning and growing. Be thankful for the lessons. Take them and make the best of things today.

For my 18th birthday, many moons ago, my grandfather on my mom’s side gave me four lightly-used flannel shirts that he no longer needed. The shirts were barely worn and in great shape; my grandfather said he thought they would look great on me. Unfortunately, I thought they were odd gifts at the time and I wasn’t thankful. I looked at him skeptically, gave him a crooked half-smile, and moved on to the other gifts sitting in front of me. My grandfather died two days later from a sudden heart attack. The flannel shirts were the last gifts he ever gave me, and that crooked half-smile was the last time I directly acknowledged him. Today, I still regret the little thing I didn’t say when I had the chance: “Thank you Grandpa. I appreciate you.”

That was a huge wake-up call for me — one that has served me well for over two decades now.

And here are eight wake-up calls for all of us to reflect on today — some important lessons worth learning and living by, before it’s too late: (more…)

9 Fundamental Rules for Turning Endings into New Beginnings in Life

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over. There’s a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction. And there are three little words that can release you from your past and guide you forward to a positive new beginning. These words are: “From now on…”

So, from now on… (more…)

7 Things Creative People Do Everyday to Get Ahead of the Rest of Us

“Creativity is just connecting things.”

Over the past 16 years, through our live events and coaching practice, my wife (Angel) and I have spoken with hundreds of entrepreneurs, artists, and creative types about their daily rituals and routines. And the truth is that we often learn as much from our clients and event attendees as they do from us. They tell us about some incredibly creative ideas and projects, and we help them fine-tune the process of getting from where they are to where they want to be.

Today, I want to share seven of the most common and prolific rituals and routines we’ve seen repeated by the most creative people we’ve worked with over the years, that keeps them ahead of the pack…

It’s often said that creativity can’t be contained — that creative inspiration (more…)

6 Tiny Daily Rituals that Will Change the Rest of Your Life (If You Let Them)

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
– Annie Dillard

Are you willing to spend a little time every day like most people won’t, so you can spend the better part of your life like most people can’t?

Think about that question for a moment. Let it sink in. You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing — growing happens only when what you know changes how you live on a daily basis (most people miss the second part).

And isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different? That’s the power of daily rituals.

Now it’s time think about your rituals — the little things you do every day.

Because these little things define you.

All the results in your life come from (more…)

10 Daily Habits that Often Drain 99 Percent of Our Joy and Peace

You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your daily habits aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Here are some fairly common and widespread examples of the latter that will drain all your joy and inner peace if you let them:

1. Focusing on how life “should” be every step of the way.

Try to use frustration and inconvenience to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of the way you look at life. Instead of getting angry, find the lesson. In place of envy, feel admiration. In place of worry, take action. In place of doubt, have faith. Remember that your response is always more powerful than your present circumstance. A small part of your life is decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances, while the vast majority of your life is decided by your responses. Where you ultimately end up is heavily dependent on how (more…)

52 Good Morning Quotes to Bring You Daily Peace and Clarity

“What day is it?” asked Pooh.
“It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
“My favorite day,” said Pooh.

When you first awake, be mindful and take a second to think about what a privilege it is to simply be alive and relatively healthy. Breathe onto the bathroom mirror just to see how amazing your breath looks. The moment you start acting like life is a blessing, I assure you it will start to feel like one. And when you start the day in a mindful state like this, it’s easier to focus more effectively on what matters most.

If you’d like to practice starting your mornings more mindfully in the weeks ahead, below you will find 52 good morning quotes. I choose one of these quotes every Monday morning and (more…)

12 Invaluable Things My 90-Year-Old Grandma Told Me Before She Died

We are not just what we know, but what we are willing to learn.

When my Grandma Zelda passed away a decade ago at the age of 90, she left me with a box of miscellaneous items from her house that she knew I had grown to appreciate over the years. Among these items was an old leather-bound journal that she aptly named her Inspiration Journal.

Throughout the second half of her life, Grandma Zelda used this journal to jot down ideas, thoughts, quotes, song lyrics, and anything else that moved her. She would read excerpts from her journal to me when I was growing up, and I would listen and ask questions. I honestly credit a part of who I am now to the wisdom she bestowed on me (more…)