Loni Townsend's Blog, page 17

Clinging To Optimism #IWSG

It’s the first Wednesday of the month. Though I’m rolling in at a later-than-usual hour, I’m here for another edition of Insecure Writer’s Support Group.

I mentioned last month how March shoved my head into the ground. April thankfully gave me a week of reprieve. Of course, I had to curse myself by excitedly telling my coworkers, “I should be able to exercise next week!” I really should have known better. Because what followed were medical appointments, dietary restrictions, and sleep issues. All of which resulted in me sending apology emails to my boss and using what little leave I have left.

Needless to say, everyone at the Town’s End is cranky at the moment and have been for a few weeks now.

Despite being quick to snap at people, I’ve managed to get some writing in. Therefore, I’m not an insecure writer this month! That’s something to be optimistic about. Plus we’ve got solutions en route for all the medical woes, so I think in another week, we’ll see an improvement on that end. I’m hoping May will let me finish chapters 8 and 9 in Isto. I’m clinging to this optimism, and maybe it’ll carry me through this month.

IWSG Question of the Month: What is the weirdest/coolest thing you ever had to research for your story?

There’s been a couple of things I’ve had to research. One was how to liquefy a human. It’s a process called alkaline hydrolysis, and it’s actually considered a greener form of cremation. Go figure. Of course what I was using it for was far more nefarious character killing means.

I’m At Jeri’s #AuthorInterview

Jeri Walker is interviewing Idaho authors and I had the great honor of being one of her chosen. You can check out the interview on her site! Maybe you might discover something you didn’t know about me.

According To Plan #IWSG

March wasn’t the best month for me. You’d think it’d be otherwise, with it being my birthday month and whatnot. Though I enjoyed the day of turning 35, a couple weeks before I was an emotional wreck. See, early in the month, I started a diet and exercise program. Eight weeks of RushFit with slow carb meals and a weekly cheat day. I had it all planned out, I was prepared, and I was mentally writing my “I did it!” blog post in my mind.

Thursday of the second week found me curled up on the couch, sobbing over the silliest thing. I didn’t get to do my exercise. I’d spent the morning at the pediatrician addressing my son’s ability to breathe, and then the afternoon at the urgent care doc-in-the-box with my husband’s swollen foot and aching knee. I returned home to find I had a flat tire on my car, which isn’t a common size and there were no businesses that kept it in stock.

I broke down, and I cried. Not because I couldn’t torture myself with exercise, but because it was yet another thing that I had started and failed. All I wanted was to prove to myself that I could follow this program, that I could accomplish this. I could stick to this! Even with all my careful effort, all my preparedness, Life grabbed me by the back of the head and shoved my face into the ground.

I don’t handle spur-of-the-moment changes very well.

You might think, it’s just one day! Just pick it up the next day and carry on. Well, it continued for a week. School meetings, award assemblies, music programs, doctor appointments, factory recalls on my car… Little things that took hours out of my day, hours that I’d reserved for me.

The selfish despair set it. My best friend can attest to the mental drama going on. Feeling sad that I couldn’t have my time, feeling guilty about feeling sad. My brain isn’t a pleasant place to be.

But you’re here for Insecure Writer’s Support Group, not the laments of Loni. It ties in. My writing is a lot like my exercise. It’s something I love, that I need, and it’s also something I can’t do well with the kids around or if I don’t get my single hour a day that I’ve allotted myself for my me time.

As the years continue to pass, I worry if this next book will be another one of those things that won’t see completion. Sure, I can pick it up, carry on, get to it when I can. But it’s a painful reminder that I’m not allowed to make it a priority in my life.

Despite everything, I have been making progress in writing. It’s not the project I should be working on, but it’s still writing. I will be starting my eight week program again on Sunday, after I run a 5K with my sis-in-law. I hope this time, I’ll get to write my success post.

BTW, my birthday was good. I got free lunch with my co-workers, sushi for dinner, and did one of those escape rooms with my husband. I had a great time.

About Insecure Writer’s Support Group



You can find the sign up for the IWSG here. We owe Alex J Cavanaugh a huge thank you for thinking this blog hop up.

How was your March? Do you like any particular exercise programs? How is your writing coming along?

The post According To Plan #IWSG appeared first on Squirrel Talk.

Time Flies As They Say #MyFirstPostRevisited

Have you ever wondered why I started blogging? Most likely, you haven’t. That’s perfectly okay with me. But Sarah Brentyn at Lemon Shark created a blog hop called My First Post Revisited. She tagged me, and—with much cringing—I jumped back in time to six years ago to a blog that’s been hidden from public view (for good reasons). And it would seem it covers why I started blogging quite well.

11/26/2010 – I should be sleeping

I’ve decided to take up blogging since it’s almost midnight on Thanksgiving/Black Friday, I’m tired as all heck, and I can’t fall asleep because I can’t stop thinking. So here it is, Loni’s blog, and I’m not really expecting anyone to read it. Alright, maybe I might clue in my mom (Hi Mom!) about it since she’s one of the people who really seems to enjoy knowing what is going on with me.

I’ll start off with what is keeping me up and awake, lying in bed with my eyes closed in the dark. I like to write. I’ve had a book stuck in my head since my pre-Sailor Moon days which I think was before I even hit tween. This book has morphed over the years (and years) so that there’s actually more substance and less “magical conveniences”, but the basis behind the story is the same. Here’s the rundown of the differences.

I've hidden the rundown due to excessive, eye-glazing rambling. Click here if you really want to read it. I don't suggest it.

It started out with Derek, a biology student living a mediocre life in his parents’ downstairs who has a shallow girlfriend named Britney whose friends dig Derek and a brilliant younger sister named Melanie, who gets magically sucked into another world where he meets a mysterious woman with teal hair who has amnesia. Derek instantly falls for Tika (odd looking woman from another world) and he tags along on her journey to this tower she is being lured to by an evil fairy named Iresu who has control over a prince named Akito and wreaks all kinds of havoc just because she wants to rule the world. During this journey, Derek comes across Jebaliah, a young woman who is in love with him to an obsessive point, hates the Princess MaTisha (who is Tika’s true identity), and accidentally kills Han (Derek’s former self) in a mishap battle. Jebaliah is also the leader of a rebel group and her right hand man is Kieser, a dashing man who is ever faithful to his leader. Also there are the guardians, Komiko, Senu, Yone, and Nicky. Derek finds out that he was actually a prince who rejected the evil fairy’s offer of power and as a result, his family was killed and he was forced into hiding as a child. Eventually you find out that MaTisha loved Han and when he died, used her power to send him to another world and another life. I also have a bit about taking the entire gang to our world to explore the joys of traffic and the mall. Overall, Derek is a nice guy and MaTisha is an innocent little princess.

Well, then I got to thinking. It’s a bad habit really. I, for some reason, no longer liked the concept of princes and princesses. So I threw that out the window and created my own social structure revolving around my created race, Drethamir, Teymir, Thanmir, and the rest are just commoners so to speak. And then I didn’t like the thought of fairies. So I decided to create a race of elementals, humanoid beings smaller than humans and divided into five clans, each with their own branch of elemental power. They now have distinctive hair, eye, and skin color which lets me pass off MaTisha’s once teal hair now as silver-blue, since she’s of the water clan. And then I moved into deeper thought. Why would a powerful fairy want to rule the world? It didn’t really make sense to me. What would be the point? Iresu the power hungry fairy turned into Ira, a Teymir (clan leader) who lost her power and now seeks to restore it by taking the Thanmir’s (half-elemental, half-human offspring born for the purpose of being vessels for corrupt power) power. She convinced one of her sons, Thanmir Aito instead of Akito, that she has his best intentions in mind and uses him to try to draw Thanmir MaTisha to her with intent to kill her. In this version, Han steps in to save her when Aito tries to capture her, and is maimed to near death. His Teymir grandmother intervenes to save his life, sending him to be reborn on another world (our world) and in the process, messes up MaTisha’s attempt to save Han and scatters her and the guardians, inflicting her amnesia to all of them. Jebaliah in this version is Han’s foster daughter and she ends up in the care of a military commander, Kieser who is less of the suave and dashing figure and more of the neat and tidy sort. And the guardians got different names: Naomi, Jack, Liz, and Nicholas. The story plays out with much the same plot but far more meat. Derek’s life took a turn for the worse. I’d tell you all about it, but hey, you’ll just have to read the book(s) when it(they) come out.

One of the things that worried me about writing my books (I have about six with Derek as the main character and more with his children taking the lead) was the theological side. I’m a Christian, but my books are not. In my books I created my own religion with its own powerful deities, and that’s on top of the Drethamir being gods to the elementals since they created the elements and elementals. I’ve always been concerned that someone who knows me personally would read my writing and shun me for the un-Christianly theology of my mythological fantasy world. I want to reassure you all that my books are works of fiction and no way represent my actual beliefs. There. I’m glad that’s off my chest.

Alright! Now that I finally got the part about my books written down in my blog and it’s now about an hour later than when I started, I’m moving on to other topics I wanted to write about.

I’m lazy and lack self-discipline. I would like to do something about it, but when I attempt to, I find that I’m lazy and lack self-discipline to do so. Go figure. I’m horrible at starting something and not finishing it. Or wanting to do something and not getting around to it. I’ve decided to put down my list. Maybe, just maybe, it’ll help me accomplish some of my goals (listed as I thought them up, not in order of importance).

Oh look, I'm rambling again. Want to know my goals? Click here.

Goal #1: Get my weight down to 135 lbs by working out regularly and using our weight set for at least 1 hour a day. I bought it. I should use it.

Goal #2: Finish my blanket. I’ve got numerous crochet squares that I’ve got to make and I really should be doing that instead of playing “PocketFrogs” on my iPod Touch.

Goal #3: Return to pole dancing. For those of you who don’t know me, it’s not what it seems. Ophidia studios teaches pole dancing and it’s great fun and helps boost sexy self-confidence.

Goal #4: Write my books. With the history I gave earlier, this goal should be self-explanatory.

My ultimate goal though is The Girl. She is the most adorably beautiful child in the world. She’s also my 3 month old daughter. I’m going to be getting up in about 3-4 hours to go buy her a jumperoo from Babies ‘R Us. I want to exercise her constantly kicking legs. I’m also endeavoring to potty train her. Being lazy and lacking self-discipline makes this a daunting task. I need to recognize her signs that tell me when she needs to go. This means I need to look at her instead of my computer. Hrmmm. Things I plan on buying while I’m at Babies ‘R Us: jumperoo, waterproof pads, and child potty. But I’d also like to get her some leg warmers and this nifty elastic belt that I can just tuck cloth diapers into so that taking them off is really easy. I figure I could probably make both. But that’d take putting forth the effort and putting down the PocketFrogs.

Note from 2017: I discovered I don’t like crocheting and never finished that darn blanket. My current exercise/weight goal is 120 lbs. I’ll take 125, if I can get to it in 8 weeks. I never did return to pole dancing, mostly due to lack of time and scheduling conflicts. My ultimate goal has expanded to include Babyzilla, The Girl’s younger brother. Thankfully, potty training isn’t something I need to worry about anymore.

Ah, 1:04 AM. I think I’m going to bed now.

03/08/2017

Though it’s been six years, writing still keeps me up at night. I’ve accepted this as the way things are. It’s also the reason why I imbibe a glass of wine before bed, otherwise, I’d never get sleep, and I need sleep to be functional at work.

Sadly, my writing hasn’t progressed much. Oh, I’ve improved in the craft. It’s not all telling and long-winded descriptions anymore. But six years ago, I had dreams of finishing my first book.

That’s about all I’ve finished. (Alright, I did add a novella to my completed works.)

On a positive note, I might be able to finish a novella this month if I work really, really hard. But my schedule is working really, really hard to thwart me.

Gettin’ It Done #IWSG

My #1 goal in writing this year is to finish Murder Most Fowl. Actually, it’d been my goal to publish it last year. Unfortunately, I couldn’t figure out how to get from one place to the next in the story. Well, throw in an explosion, change the time of day, remove a character from the scene, and I’m finally getting past it. It’s still iffy quality, but I can work on that later. Therefore, I don’t have much insecurity when it comes to writing this month, because hey! I’ve made progress. If only I can get about 6K more done, then I’ll be in the golden next-draft phase.

P.S. What do you think of my latest sketch of Cera, colored via my Snapseed phone app?

Question of the month: Have you ever pulled out a really old story and reworked it? Did it work out?

Does it count that the only story that I’ve been forever reworking is an old one? Thanmir War started as a completely different story (which you’ll be able to find out more next week, if you so desire), and Isto was supposed to be a history about Derek’s mother (though it wasn’t titled that back then). Yeah… that’s totally not what it is anymore. Regardless, yes, revamping my old story has worked out thus far. Worked out for me anyway. I’m not so sure Derek appreciates it.

About Insecure Writer’s Support Group



You can find the sign up for the IWSG here. We owe Alex J Cavanaugh a huge thank you for thinking this blog hop up.

Have you ever gone to extremes to get past a scene? What did you end up doing? If you’ve reworked an old story, have things gotten worse for your characters?

The post Gettin’ It Done #IWSG appeared first on Squirrel Talk.

Ode to My Love

I never had a significant other growing up, not that I felt I needed one. I was the girl who got repeatedly turned down when asking guys to the Sadie Hawkins dances. I went to a total of 2 formal dances in High School, one I conscripted the guy whose locker was next to mine into taking me, and the other guy was a friend I actually had a crush on. He was very kind and very blunt when he said, “I have no romantic interest in you” but hey, he took me to the dance, so things were good.

After graduating and moving from my hometown, I became a prep cook at a fancy 4-star restaurant and worked every Valentine’s day. I lamented to my brother about my lack of relationships. He said romance (and friends) were overrated. My mother tried to encourage me and told me someday, I’d have more romance than what I’d know what to do with.

I chuckle a bit at that, because now, some 16 years later, I’ve learned something about myself.

I’m a terribly unromantic person. And my husband suits me perfectly.

Don’t get the wrong impression. For the past 10 years of Valentine’s days, he’s doted on me with flowers and seafood and chocolate dipped strawberries and peanut M & M’s (good grief, I love those things). I squeal and relish it all.

Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite days of the year.

But stuff like long eye-holding gazes across the table or quiet strolls through nature’s beauty… That’s not us. Our romance is sprawling on the couch talking World of Warcraft/TV Shows, or trying to find a way to escape the noxious gas cloud he let loose in the kitchen, or thinking up new and clever ways to exchange innuendos while keeping all those around us in the dark.

He keeps me sane when I’m emotionally breaking down over this or that. We never argue. Our disagreements include the value of skirts/folding socks/where not to leave my Red Bull cans. My daughter has commented about us “fighting again” which includes my husband tickling me and laughing manically, and me shrieking and elbowing him in the ribs.

We have a pretty ideal relationship. And I just want to say, I love this guy.

Happy Valentine’s Day from the Town’s End to you. What do you think of the new red hair color?

The post Ode to My Love appeared first on Squirrel Talk.

Woe or Whoa? #IWSG

I decided to track down the last time I wasn’t feeling like I was slowly sinking in a sticky mess of overwhelmed craziness. It’s been over six months. HALF A YEAR! Since mid-July of 2016, it’s been illness and injury and mishap around every turn.

That leads me to my insecurity. It’s been half a year with little to no progress toward my personal goals. And honestly, I’m not sure that’s going to change, because every time I put forth effort towards accomplishing what I want to do, something else steps in to swat down my attempts.

I could regal you with my tales of woe, but really, I’ve moved beyond frustration to simple resignation. Things probably won’t let up. There’s nothing I can do to avoid it. I can’t keep the snow from falling, I can’t keep the kids from catching colds and other stuff at school, and I can’t keep my husband from getting injured.

If you’ve read Oh, The Places You’ll Go! by Dr. Seuss, I’m stuck in that most useless spot called The Waiting Place. I’m just trying to figure out how to escape.

Optional IWSG Question: How has being a writer changed your experience as a reader? I now notice the use of past progressive verbs. It drove me nuts when I was attempting to read The Passage, so much so that I didn’t finish the book. That might be a personal problem though.

About Insecure Writer’s Support Group



You can find the sign up for the IWSG here. We owe Alex J Cavanaugh a huge thank you for thinking this blog hop up.

On another note, C.G. Coppola tagged me in a thing called First Day, First Paragraph.

Publish your own post on the first day of the next month (March).
Use the graphic above
Thank and link back to the person who tagged you. (Thanks, C.G. Coppola!)
Explain the rules, like I’m doing now.
Post the first paragraph of a story you’ve written, are writing, or plan to write someday.
Ask your readers for feedback.
Finally, tag someone to do the post next month and comment on one of their posts to let them know the good news.

I’m going to tag ChemistKen at My Hogwarts Sabbatical. I’ve been interested in reading his stuff for a while now. This gives me another thing to prod him with.

Fighting The Chill

Informational Tidbit: Squirrels don’t hibernate. Really, when it comes to the bitter cold, we just sleep a lot. And boy, oh boy, do I feel like sleeping.

Idaho has been plagued with winter storm warnings lately. The Treasure Valley (Boise and surrounding area) is supposed to get more inches of snow today. School’s been cancelled so many times this year (and look, it’s only January 18th), that my kids are having to attend on the holidays, such as MLK and President’s Day. And dragging my furry little rear out of bed every morning has been difficult at best.

It might’ve been the flu I caught. Squirrel flu? Eh. After a miserable last Tuesday where the wet snow soaked through my coat to douse my skin while I dug a path out of the drive way, I came down with a fever that took me down and out until Thursday night. It certainly put a damper on getting a strong start on my exercise and writing goals.

On a positive note, that story of mine I mentioned in my last IWSG post did find a home. I’m pleased. Now I just need to finish Murder Most Fowl and Isto.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking when it comes to Isto. This thinking started a while back after a discussion with my friend Dani about Lexa’s death on the 100. It deepened after a post by Mason Matchak. It’s gotten even deeper after discovering Laura Wise’s blog, where she reviews diverse reads on the racial, orientation, and disability spectrum.

Honestly, I’m scared I’m doing more harm than good. Here it is: I killed a gay character. I killed a character with black skin. And I don’t see how I could have done things differently for the overall story (spanning 4 books). Laura’s perspective adds to my worries because I have “magically fixed” people with disabilities.

Mason kindly let me email him with my many terrors. His response helped bat down some of the insecurity I have about it. The story is what it is, and I will finish writing it, but I guess I need help steeling myself for the disdain my brain is envisioning as the response.

I don’t want to be disdained. Of course, the other part of me tells me, “Don’t worry about it. Nobody is going to read it anyways.” *sigh*

They say ignorance is bliss. Too true. I didn’t know magically fixing disabilities was insensitive or that there were bigger tropes tied to my characters’ deaths. Now that I know, I feel a bit like scum.

But that’s the point of raising awareness, right? Becoming aware. I can just try to do better, though I’m not expecting much love for my big books.

Has awareness about certain topics made you consider how you are treating those topics? What are your thoughts about hurtful tropes? Have you found any in your work after the fact like I did?

The post Fighting The Chill appeared first on Squirrel Talk.

Maybe This Will Be The Year #IWSG

They announced the winners of the IWSG anthology this morning. I wasn’t among them, but my analytical side kicked in and I’m pretty sure why my story didn’t make the cut.

Genre.

It’s a fantasy anthology, and my story had little-to-no hint of the great fantastic. If anything, I’d classify it as supernatural, but there’s not a lot of indication of that either. I had questioned it before I submitted, but decided, eh, what the heck. Why not? I still believe in the story itself, and I think it may have another home, one it is better suited for. *crosses fingers*

Even though I had turned out two short stories (one just released last month) in a relatively quick amount of time late last year, I don’t think I’ll be doing many more unless inspiration hits. For one, I’m well behind on what I want to be done with – Murder Most Fowl and Isto. For another, I seem to not be able to write full-fledged fantasy in a short story. I prefer the subtle tones that either leave the person scratching their head or saying ‘ah-ha!’. I guess if it’s not related to Derek or Cera, I just can’t do fantasy.

So, maybe this will be the year. That is my insecurity, really–whether or not I’ll get anything done. I’ve got over 150K written toward Isto and only about 10K to go for MMF. I thought I had plenty of time last year to finish at least one of them, but it just didn’t happen. I worry this year will be the same.

I don’t have an answer to the question of the month, which is What writing rule do you wish you’d never heard? Mostly because I don’t care about rules. I write what I want to, how I want to. Oh, I get ticked off when it comes to opinions about the lengths of stories, that if a fantasy novel is over 120K, then it’s poorly written. But I just think it’s absurd, not that I wished I’d never heard it. Otherwise, I take what makes me better and toss out the rest.

Do you ever feel like your progress is not enough? Are you looking forward to the release of the new IWSG anthology? (I saw many names I recognized that made me super excited.)

About Insecure Writer’s Support Group



You can find the sign up for the IWSG here. We owe Alex J Cavanaugh a huge thank you for thinking this blog hop up.

The post Maybe This Will Be The Year #IWSG appeared first on Squirrel Talk.

We’re All A Little Twisted, Right? #NewRelease

It may come as no shock or surprise to you that I’m a bit twisted. I’m that person in critique group who points out a character and says, “He’s going to die.” The author might follow up with, “Well, actually, no…” but I shake my head and insist, “Nope, he’s going to die.” Because, you know, someone always dies in the story. Who cares if it’s a romance? Pfft!

You can also hear me cackle maniacally as I kick my characters off cliffs, turn them into sociopaths, and vaporize love interests.

Yeah, I know. I’m twisted.

So when my short story, Happily Ever After, was accepted into an anthology, A Bit of a Twist, it just seemed right.

This is a first for me. See, up to this point, I’ve either self-published my work or contributed to compilations where I was invited to participate. I did submit some of my work to a publisher in the past, and it was rejected, but this story is my first submitted piece that was accepted through the whole gate-keeper process.

Last week, the anthology hit the digital shelves! I’d love it if you picked up a copy on Amazon, because I had fun writing this story, or you can read it for free through Kindle Unlimited if you have it.

Do you like short stories? Are you a bit twisted? P.S. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and wonderful Holiday season.

The post We’re All A Little Twisted, Right? #NewRelease appeared first on Squirrel Talk.