Loni Townsend's Blog, page 10

Controlling My Environment #IWSG

April was a stressful month with my husband hurting his foot and then back, my daughter getting sick, my son throwing violent tantrums, and my dogs nearly tearing each other apart. I got bit during that last incident and now my best friend owns a 10 year old shiba. The dogs love people, but the two boys started fighting more and more this past year and I’ve come to find out, shiba inus fit best in households where the other canines are the opposite sex. At least it was a positive outcome for a not-so-great situation.

My son’s tantrums, however, aren’t as simple to deal with. To try to tackle this, I’ve invested in Positive Parenting Solutions and made changes to the home environment. I can’t control my son or how he reacts, so I’m controlling what I can: my work schedule, my routine, and how I divvy up family contributions.

With all the stresses of April, my writing life has been shoved to the back burner. I’ve managed to do a few changes to Isto, but I’m nowhere near done. I deviated into art for the sake of my sanity. Drawing doesn’t require a lot of concentration from me, so I can do it while hanging out with family. I even played around with Facebook’s 3D photo technology. If you’re on a computer, you might be able to see the effects in this picture by moving the mouse around.

Since it’s Insecure Writer’s Support Group day, you might wonder “is your lack of progress the cause of your insecurity?” Well, I don’t have a lot of insecurity at the moment. What I have is exhaustion and acceptance that my writing just isn’t as important as my kids. Mother comes before the Writer in my tagline for a reason. So I suppose that’s a reason to celebrate, despite my lack of progress.

Ever hear of/try out Positive Parenting Solutions? Does family life have a way of overtaking your writing life like it has mine? Have you ever used Facebook’s 3D photo technology?

About Insecure Writer’s Support Group



You can find the sign up for the IWSG here. We owe Alex J Cavanaugh a huge thank you for thinking this blog hop up.

The post Controlling My Environment #IWSG appeared first on Squirrel Talk.

Stop Distracting Me, Companion Novel!

Last week, I faced the realization I’m going to have to rewrite a lot of things to improve book 2 of my series. I’m pretty amped up about it, because I’ve figured out a way to change things to make the hero’s chapters actually tie in to the main plot and the final battle. The gears were turning and the excitement built… and then my mind leapt off into a complete tangent called book 3.5.

I’ll tell anyone I talk to about how this series is 4 1/2 books long. A guy from my critique group jokingly said he’d like to see this half book of mine. I boasted that it only had one POV, to which he responded, “Yeah, but how many characters?” (11 by my count)

Smelted revolves around a girl and how she gets mixed up with the family from the series. Among the characters is Ason, who I consider the perfect subject to bring in everything I love about Steampunk. He invents and tinkers, and based on his history, harnessing the power of steam just seemed like a natural course for him. I figure that since this book takes place 130 years after book 3, it’d be perfectly reasonable for fashion to change to reflect the Victorian style.

Well, thinking about this book brought on some problems. I’m the type of person who likes to figure things out and have logical explanations for why things happen. It drove me to write Ason’s backstory a few years ago just to figure out why he’s on the run from his sister. That had appeased me back then, but now I had new challenges to face. Obsession took control and last week, I typed up a “summary” (if one can call 11K a summary) to lay out everything that happens in this book from start to finish. I had to answer the questions in my head: How were they going to undo what he did and what was done to him so that he and his sister could reconcile?

Short answer: They don’t. He stays the way he is, and there’s no fixing what he did.

This is a major deviation from the original plan. That had included a love story between Ason and Rio (the POV). That’s gone. And her unflagging loyalty to the guy who she knew for about three years and left over a decade ago? Yeah, that’s gone too. Rio’s no longer trying to protect Ason and is now trying to catch him. Everything’s a shade darker.

On the bonus side, it does give me the possibility of having a Happily Ever After for a different character now that Ason’s not hooking up with Rio anymore.

A Daunting Task Ahead #IWSG

It’s the first Wednesday of April, and as with every first Wednesday, it’s Insecure Writer’s Support Group day.

I got feedback on Isto last week. On Tuesday, I had a sit-down with a beta reader who’s been with me since the first terrible draft of Thanmir War. She went over her notes for Isto, including a bit about how the first half of my main character’s chapters didn’t seem as important to the plot as the other POVs. It didn’t surprise me. I’d known he wouldn’t have as much of an impact in this book 5 1/2 years ago.

Then Wednesday’s critique group came and my fellow writers dove into the “Final Battle”. As they read my big fight scene, the feedback was my climax was anti-climatic. They wanted more chaos, more tension, more people getting hurt/dying. This isn’t the first time they’ve said this about one of my fight scenes. Apparently, I don’t put my characters in enough danger. But I trust my critique group, and I’d rewritten that last scene and eventually earned a thumbs-up for my efforts. As my brain mulled over how to improve my final battle, visions of monsters attacking my main character formed in my head. Yeah, I thought. I could do this just like I did last time.

Then I came to a terrible realization.

When I’d rewritten the previous fight scene, I’d changed the rules. To add that danger and tension my critique group wanted, I had to make my main character a target that he wasn’t before. What does this mean?

To avoid plot holes, I have to rewrite the first half of my main character’s chapters.

Considering my beta reader said those chapters felt less important to the plot, maybe doing the rewrite will help that. Still, it’s a major undertaking and this book has already been in the works for six flippin’ years. *sigh*

Perhaps you can see the cause of my insecurity this month?

I don’t have any dreams of becoming a full-time author (I’m a perfectly happy programmer). This series is the only thing I aspire to write. Still, I would like to finish it before I die of old age.

IWSG Question of the Month – If you could use a wish to help you write just ONE scene/chapter of your book, which one would it be?

I don’t trust wishes. I’ve read too many stories where things backfire and go horribly wrong. Therefore, I wouldn’t use a wish, because next thing I know, I could be trapped inside my story and I sure as heck don’t want to face the monsters in there! Nor would I want to face my characters because they’d probably figure out that I’m the one who put them through all the crap. So no wishes for this squirrel.

Have you had to face major rewrites for the third time on a story? How many times are you willing to rewrite in order to get a story right? Do you have a story you’ve refused to give up on?

About Insecure Writer’s Support Group



You can find the sign up for the IWSG here. We owe Alex J Cavanaugh a huge thank you for thinking this blog hop up.

The post A Daunting Task Ahead #IWSG appeared first on Squirrel Talk.

Sneaking Online

It’s amazing how unproductive I am when staying home with children. These past couple of weeks, I ignored my writing, fell behind on my critiquing, and accomplished nothing of what I actually planned to do. My daughter got her tonsils and adenoids out, so I’ve been hanging out with her, keeping her pain level under control and mashing all the food into a mushy state. After a week and a half of living on soup, over-cooked mac and cheese, and apple sauce, we’re now treading into more solid states such as scrambled eggs and salmon.

Yay.

Other things that have happened: I turned 37 last Sunday, I ran a critique workshop at the library last Thursday, I enrolled my son in swimming lessons for this whole week, and I got a shiny new phone!

Rather than bore you with all the details of my past couple of weeks, I’ll just drop a digital painting of the subject of my attention:

Sorry this is such a boring update. That’s what happens when I try to write a blog post while having a conversation with my kids about Powerpuff Girls episodes and the reason why they need to eat more than just jello for breakfast…

Have I missed anything interesting these past couple of weeks?

The post Sneaking Online appeared first on Squirrel Talk.

Stuck and Distracted #IWSG

The first Wednesday of each month is Insecure Writer’s Support Group day, and today is that day. I haven’t blogged in a while. Not that I don’t have much to say, but I’ve been too distracted to write it down. I pushed myself hard in the realm of exercise and am pleased to say I’ve made progress. Not only did I complete the Colonel’s Challenge at work:



I’ve also made good progress toward my goal of losing 30 lbs this year.

But my writing has stalled out. (Insecure writer here.) I’m trying to finish Murder Most Fowl, but I can’t seem to find my way to the end. I know where I need to get to, but I can’t connect the dots. It doesn’t help that digital painting has stolen a lot of my attention.

Last year, I put a focus on improving my digital painting. I’m not a pro in any way, but I have gotten better. As I tried to force myself to work on the Cera Chronicles, the idea wriggled into my brain that maybe, just maybe, I could digitally paint my own covers. It took a few false starts, and I tossed out several versions, but finally I made a picture I liked, that I felt might actually be good enough to grace a cover.

If you have any critical feedback, please shout it out. Seriously. I’m still learning, still improving, and I can’t recognize where my work falls short. I suppose it’s the same with writing. That’s why we have critique partners and beta readers, right?

IWSG Question of the Month – Whose perspective do you like to write from best, the hero (protagonist) or the villain (antagonist)? And why?

Aren’t all characters heroes of their own story? They are in my head. Sure, they might be sadistic murderous fiends, but they were justified in their actions. At least, that’s what they believe. Therefore, I’m going to have to say I write best from the protagonist’s POV, since they’re all protagonists if I’m telling their story.

Got any critical feedback for the cover? What perspective do you like writing from? How are your goals going so far?

About Insecure Writer’s Support Group



You can find the sign up for the IWSG here. We owe Alex J Cavanaugh a huge thank you for thinking this blog hop up.

The post Stuck and Distracted #IWSG appeared first on Squirrel Talk.

Getting Creative #IWSG

Every month on the first Wednesday, the Insecure Writer’s Support Group gathers across the bloggosphere to express our insecurities and encourage others. Today is that day!

When it comes to writing this year, I’m not bounding through the progress. But that’s because my primary personal push has been exercise and fitness. That’s led to using my lunch hours for lifting weights rather than a pen, and tracking habits instead of word counts.

But am I insecure about it? Eh… not really.

I’ve resolved to finish Murder Most Fowl this year. Back in 2014, I pantsed a serial Cera Chronicle for the April A-Z challenge. The plot was all over the place, the believability wasn’t awesome, and it was too short for my novella target range. I’d planned on revamping it a few years back, but Isto refused to relinquish my attention. Thankfully, I finished Isto last year, and Teymir isn’t demanding that I put down words quite yet, so Murder Most Fowl gets my lovin’ this year. I’m at 20K (that’s 9K more than the blogged version already) and my goal is to wind up in the 25K range (Look Ma, I can write shorter stories!).

5K is totally doable.

So am I insecure? Nope. Can I accomplish this task and still conquer my fitness goals? Heck yeah! I’m gonna do it.

IWSG Question of the Month Besides writing what other creative outlets do you have?

Ha! Do you have a year for me to lay all that out for you? We’ll just hit the primary ones: sketching, digital painting, dying my hair, creating my book covers, sewing, photography, and making random stuff with my kids out of whatever we find in the craft closet.

 

 

I’ve been known to do other stuff like pole dancing and canvas painting, but those are less frequent than my usual endeavors.

Hi, I’m an ISTJ #CatastropheMode

Well, January has been par for the course at the Town’s End with three doctor visits, two rounds of antibiotics, and multiple uses of inhalers. Ah the joys of being a parent. Thankfully, all I’ve had is a lingering cough that’s been around since last April, so I’ve been able to tend to my little ones as they hack and sniffle. But I tell you, the stress takes a toll.

With only 2K words written this month, I’m behind on my writing goals (should’ve written 4K by now). I’ve been sticking to my exercise…with some adjustment to my original plans. BeachBody Core De Force is off the plate. I can’t get the kids out the door in time to get consistently enough to work and do my workout before I start my shift. So I’m using the treadmill at home to do 30 minutes of cardio at 5AM.

It sucks.

Okay, once I get going it isn’t that bad. I turn on my happy light (see SAD), drink cold-brew coffee, and remind myself that this is the year of the Halle Berry Body. I also play my favorite motivational video to give me that extra boost when I need it.

So what does any of this have to do with being an ISTJ? Well, let’s take a snippet from the page I linked:

Under stress, ISTJs may fall into “catastrophe mode”, where they see nothing but all of the possibilities of what could go wrong. They will berate themselves for things which they should have done differently, or duties which they failed to perform. They will lose their ability to see things calmly and reasonably, and will depress themselves with their visions of doom.

Yep. That sums me up alright. I’ve been eating my feelings, chowing down on all the unhealthy carbs like kettle cooked potato chips, spaghetti and white bread, and calrose rice. And the Red Bull. All the Red Bull. There was one night where my dinner only consisted of Red Bull. I know I shouldn’t. This is the year of the Halle Berry Body, after all. But with the Colonel’s Challenge tracking board keeping an eye on me, I can’t let my exercise slide, so it’s the diet that’s going to give. Besides, with the exercise, I’ll be burning off those extra calories… right?

I think I need better stress-handling tactics.

What’s your personality type? How do you handle stress? Is it legal to bubble-wrap children?

The post Hi, I’m an ISTJ #CatastropheMode appeared first on Squirrel Talk.

Colonel’s Challenge 2019 #Life #Fitness

Warning: This is a long, non-writing related post!

The first of the year kicked off the Colonel’s Challenge. It’s a work-sponsored exercise challenge that runs 10 weeks. It’s meant to encourage both commissioned and non-commissioned employees to adopt healthy habits of weight-lifting and aerobic exercise. I tackled it last year, and I hope to regain my previous physical fitness (which pneumonia completely trashed) by doing it this year. Here’s where I stand fifteen days into it:

One of my goals this year is to lose 30 lbs. If you saw me walking down the hall, you wouldn’t guess I’d need to lose that much, but I spend my day bundled up in a zip-up hoodie that hangs down to my knees, so the majority of my body isn’t even visible.

Someone might ask, why 30 lbs?

My goal weight is 125. It’s not unreasonable. For my height (5’5″), it’s about ideal. What would this look like? Well, Halle Berry is a good example. She’s my height and weighs in the 120s. She’s also had two kids, so I can relate. If I looked as awesome as her when I’m in my 50’s, I’d be stoked.

What am I doing to hit that mark?

Diet: I’m intermittent fasting. My eating window is from 11 – 7, and I prep food ahead to keep track of calories at work. I’m sticking to below 1500, because that’s the maintenance calorie count for the weight I want to be while working a sedentary desk job. I don’t deny myself anything, but I do keep a calorie tally in mind to help me determine if I really want to eat it or not. And I’ve managed to stick to only 1 Red Bull a week! No, I won’t drink the sugar free version, nor will I drink any other zero-calorie substitution. If I can’t have my full 27g of sugar Red Bull, I don’t want anything. Instead, I’ve been drinking oolong tea and tons of water, sometimes with a squeeze of lime. It’s a good lifestyle for me, one I’ll be able to maintain even if I lose all 30 lbs.

Exercise: My wrist still bugs me, which sucks. I have to be very careful when it comes to doing push-ups. But I’m lifting weights three nights a week, taking a 20 minute walk at lunch, and hitting the cardio on Saturday morning. In addition, I’ve started the BeachBody Core De Force program, which has me sweating at 6:45 AM before showering and heading to work. I picked this program because it has kickboxing-inspired moves and, frankly, I enjoy punching stuff. Since part of my physique goals is to aim for an hourglass figure, I’ve been focusing on building up my shoulders and glutes. Hopefully, with the diet and exercise, I’ll shrink my middle to achieve the body shape I want.

Sleep: One of the things all fitness experts will say on all the hundreds of articles–if you want to lose weight, you need a good night’s rest. Between my dogs and the kids, that’s been difficult these past few years. But I’m getting the kids to bed earlier and practicing meditation to turn off my writer’s brain when I lay down. Plus, I’ve relocated my morning workout to the gym here at work, so I spend less time getting ready before dropping off the kids, which equals out to an additional 20 minutes of sleep. I’ve managed to get a full 8 hours these past couple of days, which is promising for my weight-loss goals. We’ll see if I can keep it up.

Sorry for the long post today with the in-depth look at one particular non-writerly goal. The last day of the Colonel’s Challenge is March 10th, so you might see and update or two before then. Until then…

Do you have any lofty goals this year? Do you have a plan to achieve your goals? What have you found works for you when it comes to healthier lifestyles?

The post Colonel’s Challenge 2019 #Life #Fitness appeared first on Squirrel Talk.

Welcome to 2019 #IWSG

That first Wednesday of the month came quickly this year. I’m still recovering from my “vacation” (read: 12 days of house cleaning and full-time kid watching), so I don’t have a whole lot to say other than it’s nice to be able to sit down and type something again. Writing progress has been zilch and I’m not sure if I retained the last scrap of sanity I had, but hey, what better way to start a new year!

Yesterday was actually a great kick-off. We had friends over for the annual Surf and Turf at the Town’s End, and spent several hours playing games and eating food. I’m hoping the success I had there will be indicative of how the rest of the year is going to play out. As of this instant, I’m not an insecure writer because I set reasonable goals for the year and I think I can accomplish them.

IWSG Question of the Month – What are your favorite and least favorite questions people ask you about your writing?

I can think of my least favorite right off the bat. “When are you going to finish your book?” Stab me in the chest with my inadequacies, why don’t ya? Between taking care of all the kid stuff, catching up with my husband, making sure the family stays fed, cleaning the house so it’s inhabitable, working full-time, and trying to have a body that doesn’t depress me… sometimes I just don’t have a lot of time for writing.

Good-natured kidding or not, when someone asks me that question, it hurts, because it points out that for all I do, it’s never enough.

Well, that was depressing. Let’s end on my favorite writing question, which is “How the **** do you keep track of everything?” Is it twisted that I enjoy inspiring people to use profanity? I’ve got a secret Google site where I’ve recorded every character name I’ve used, the way the calendar works, the military setup, the elemental hierarchy and political structures, world creation mythology, maps and environment descriptions, playlists/blurbs/covers for each book, and a flow chart with all my character relations and classifications (that’s usually what causes the swearing since it’s easiest to show off).

I keep a lot of it in my brain, but it’s nice to have it all stored secretly in case I wanted to reference it.

2018 Year in Review

Goals. Such a terrifying concept for me. I have a thing with starting stuff and never finishing it. I set goals, and never meet them.

Well, back in January, I made known a few of my goals.

1. Meet all the criteria for the Colonel’s Challenge. I did all the weight lifting and exercise, though I didn’t lose the pounds I was aiming for. Still, not bad. Of course, all of my progress was lost when April came and I came down with pneumonia, which destroyed all of my strength, ability to breathe, and even wiped out my time off. I still haven’t recaptured my fitness abilities, but I’m taking steps toward that by doing a quick exercise after I return from a bathroom break. Some days it’s planks, other days it’s squats. I’ve got a plan, and I’m doing it. Maybe come spring, I can start running again.

2. Average at least 700 words a week. That’d be a goal of a little over 36K in a year. Considering I did NaNoWriMo in November and got 50K in 30 days, I have that solidly achieved. I also finished Isto, which was a HUGE DEAL for me, which brings my tally to about 120K for the year. I might’ve sold myself short on that goal.

3. Complete one good digital painting. I put a strong focus on improving my skills in digital painting this year. I bought a couple of Udemy classes, joined a Facebook group, and checked out a few online tutorials. Since my main problem is abandoning my art before it’s done, I am proud to say, I did actually finish some digital paintings this year. My style morphed as I figured out what I liked best. I still struggle with drawing my characters so they’re recognizable from one picture to the next, but that should come with time.

My very first digital painting in June of 2016:

My latest digital painting as of December 2018:

4. Build a better relationship with my children by being more empathetic. HA! I think the attempt to be more empathetic lasted maybe two weeks. I can’t change who I am, and my efforts to do so just left me curling my fingers and flaring my nostrils. So I opted for a different solution–putting my son to bed an hour earlier every night. He gets more sleep, isn’t as whiny, and I’m no longer gritting my teeth because he’s breaking down into a fit over every little thing (now it’s just every other thing). I think he takes after me, since I was a rotten child.

Then there’s my daughter, who simply continues to grow into a thoughtful, responsible older child who I rely on regularly to be AWESOME. That girl is destined to be a teacher, I tell you. Or management. Same diff. No matter where we go, she makes new friends, starts organizing younger kids into activities, and provides directions and suggestions for everyone involved. During Halloween, she kept track of whose turn it was to knock on the door, that way everyone got a fair chance to do so. She’s a lot better kid than I ever was.

Well, that was it. Compared to previous years where Life kicked me in the teeth (alright, so pneumonia was seriously uncool, but what can one do?), this has been a pretty good year.

So what are my goals for next year?

1. Slacklining. It’s probably not a useful talent, but I bought a kit and I want to learn.

2. Average 1K a week. I probably won’t participate in NaNoWriMo next year, since it disrupted everything else in my life this past November. But I’m setting a higher goal than I did last year.

3. Lose 30 pounds. Alright, this one is a lofty one, since any time I’ve tried to change my eating habits, it’s ended up with me spiraling into depression and rebounding with a bunch of sugar and starchy foods. So the goal is to increase activity enough to use up all those excessive bad calories. Let’s hope there’s no illness to undermine all my efforts this year.

I plan on taking off the rest of the year, so I’ll see you all after the new year!

How did you do with your goals? Did you set any goals? Are you going to set some for next year?

Obligatory End of Year photo recap:

The post 2018 Year in Review appeared first on Squirrel Talk.