B. Neil Brown's Blog, page 3

Guest Post: Roy Marsh – The Art of Empathy

Our guest post today is written by Royce Gracie Black Belt Roy Marsh

 

Roy is one of the very few Tested Black Belts in the World under Royce Gracie and is the Head Instructor and Owner of Team-ROC Southern Pines. Roy is recognized, and sought after,  for his technical knowledge and engaging instruction.

He is a No-Gi World Champion, Multiple No-Gi Pan American and NY Open Gold Medalist, and is a CagesideMMA sponsored athlete. He is also an Advisor to the 82nd Airborne Combatives and Advanced Tactics Program at Fort Bragg, NC, and is MACP (Modern Army Combatives Program) Level II Certified.

You can find out more about Roy at www.roymarshjiujitsu.com

 

 

The Art of Empathy

I think one of the best lessons that Jiu-Jitsu teaches us is the lesson of empathy. People may argue with me but I think we don’t look at the world enough through the eyes of others – and, sometimes we’re explicitly told that to do so is weak. But, I believe it’s the opposite. Even without the advantages of the increase in general humanity through understanding the struggles, hardships, advantages, etc. of others, this new worldview can often increase our own abilities.

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” – Mark Twain

This could be one of the best quotes about Jiu-Jitsu that I’ve ever seen. And, here is the important thing: I am not talking about physical travel (though that is obviously wonderful). I mean, mental and experiential travel. When you train Jiu-Jitsu, you are experiencing new things all the time – you are often getting to feel what others go through. If you are the bully who comes to class, you are in the position of having some little kid control you, beat you, invalidate your physical gifts. If you are the meek, shy person you eventually get this super power – you can defend yourself against bigger, stronger, more aggressive people. The two people are able to experience what the other person has felt. Often, this is a positive experience. The bully (or, maybe just someone physically superior) understands what it’s like to have no power, to be under the control of someone else. Eventually, through this forced empathy, most begin to understand and have sympathy for those who are weaker (not just physically, but often of circumstance). The weak student learns that with commitment, they can take control of their surroundings. They can be confident and assert themselves. They are not as weak as they think.

This empathy with being powerful gives them insight into how someone aggressive or strong may be tempted to abuse that power (and, sometimes, unfortunately, they become a bully themselves). Both students also learn that not always being the winner isn’t the end of the world – that the ability to survive is sometimes all we can accomplish and that is enough. In fact, that is the essence of Helio’s Jiu-Jitsu. I think this is why most Jiu-Jitsu people are some of the most caring people you will ever meet and their schools reflect that. But some do get drawn into the dominating bully mode and view Jiu-Jitsu as a tool to abuse others. Thankfully, this second group is pretty rare.

“Sometimes you don’t have to win. You cannot win. But, that has nothing to do with losing.” – Rickson Gracie

When I was a blue and purple belt and uninjured, I didn’t have a whole lot of empathy for others’ restrictions. I was flexible and aggressive. I thought if people didn’t have certain attributes, that it was because they weren’t working hard enough. I didn’t understand that some people will never be able to reach a certain physical level, either through lack of physical gift, ability to train enough or injury. These weren’t necessarily conscious beliefs but they were certainly hiding in there. And, then I tore my meniscus. I had surgery and after surgery I rolled with an idiot who twisted my knee and set me back even further. To this day, my left knee isn’t great. My two biggest assets were gone (my left hook butterfly sweep and my left leg knee cut pass). To say these were the core of my game and my super weapon is to wildly understate things. And, they were gone. I was depressed and felt like I was starting from scratch.

I had to begin to create a new game, not out of curiosity but out of need. I also began to develop sympathy for people who would say “I just can’t do that.” I began to understand the difference between someone who was lazy versus someone who just cannot. It began to really open my eyes to being able to adjust instruction, depending on a student’s physical abilities. Instead of trying to force him to fit Jiu-Jitsu, I was understanding that Jiu-Jitsu is perfectly capable of fitting him. I also began to understand that the essential Jiu-Jitsu curriculum I teach must be moves that anyone can do, not just the super strong or super flexible (this has had the added benefit of expanding the range of people in my classes). This was again the brilliance of Helio’s innovations. It is why although the rubber guard is fun, it should never be the core of an art. It requires abilities that many people will never have. This is one reason as an instructor I have tried very hard to try to make a student the best version of himself, not of me. I don’t try to make Jiu-Jitsu clones of myself. I want to see what style fits him and do my best to lead him or push him there. And, this requires my ability to empathize with that student.

I have a student, Brian Freeman, who is paralyzed from the waist down. It’s been a real joy getting to know Brian and it’s been a huge benefit to me as an instructor. When he started with me, we just did private lessons focused on self defense. It was a fun challenge for me to figure out how to modify certain moves so that he could apply them from his wheelchair. It helped me understand what the core of certain moves was and what the parts that could be changed were. Later, Brian joined the regular class and began a lot more of the grappling portion. For a while, I fell into a bad habit. I was trying to modify moves to fit him yes, but I was still trying to force him to fight in my style. I was trying to figure out guards that would work for him, sweeps that would get him on top, ways to maintain dominant position.

I was doing all this with only theoretical understanding of what he was going through. I would get a little annoyed when he would stay on bottom and try to submit from inferior positions (an idea I generally hate is giving up a dominant position for a potential submission or trying to submit from a bad position). But, I didn’t really understand that most of the time, he just could NOT get to a good position. It wasn’t a realistic option for him. I didn’t empathetically understand what he was going through. Ironically, I had been practicing and teaching survival from bad positions and he had gotten good at that, but for most of my students the next step after survival was to progress to a dominant position. For Brian, this wasn’t a very realistic option.

Yes, he was getting good at turning over for single legs but he would never be able to recompose a very effective guard or have any lower body sweeps. So, rather than just lay there defending and trying to occasionally get sweeps I understood he was trying to figure out how to finish the fight with his restrictions. I had to put aside my view of Jiu-Jitsu and look at the world through his Jiu-Jitsu. I began to roll with Brian without using my legs. I began to roll with other students without using my legs. I took away my strongest shields and my best generators of movement. I began to understand the importance of the weaker shields (hands and arms) and how to make those the core of my defense.

I worked to overcome my bias of submitting from a weak position and to explore how to do it. Rolling with Brian is tough with the added advantage of my legs but when I tried to put myself in his world, I understood the huge strides he had made and the definite advantage he had when we were on even term simply because he had more experience in that world than I did. It helped me understand how to better help him and it really helped me become better at Jiu-Jitsu. I try to do this a lot now. I roll with my eyes closed, I roll with only using one hand, I roll as if I have very little strength. I roll without using my legs. I try to empathize with all of these types of “weaknesses” and to see what it teaches me. In a real fight, I try to exploit your disadvantages but I have to experience those truly to be able to do so effectively.

But, in real life, experiencing others’ disadvantages takes away any desire for me to exploit them. This has helped me to see what people are able to accomplish with these disadvantages (not just physical ones). I see the battles that people fight better and see progress they’ve made that I may have never noticed before because it wasn’t progress by my definition. Jiu-Jitsu is about connection and empathy is our strongest method of connection. That should tell us that empathy is a not a weakness but a strength.

Roy Marsh

 

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Guest bloggers – Coaches, Athletes, and Training Partners

Are you a coach, instructor, or trainer of an adaptive or limited mobility BJJ athlete – or one of those athletes yourself?

I am looking for coaches perspectives on training adaptive BJJ students. Tips and tricks, out of the box thinking, or whatever it is you do to wrap your mind around teaching the gentle art to someone who’s body does not function on the average.

Anything you feel like you could share to help other instructors take on the challenge of teaching adaptive BJJ.

Are you a limited mobility or adaptive student and would like to share your feelings or experiences in training this great art, or a training partner to someone who adapts jiu-jitsu?

Share your knowledge and experiences with the BJJ community! If you are not confident in your writing skills, have no fear. We can take your raw thoughts and turn them into a great post that just might change the life of another human being.

Please contact me on Facebook, or through the contact links above.

Neil

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NubAbilty Winter Camp in Florida

Are you, your children, or someone you know a limb different young athlete who loves soccer, baseball, softball, or strength training?

Get registered NOW for Nubability Athletics winter camp 2016 in Ft Myer’s, FL!

Hurry, space is limited! Check out the FB post below for more info!

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Take a tour of the teardrop

Being retired can be boring, and I am always trying to find ways to keep busy without wearing myself out. My passions in life are Jiu-Jitsu and travel, but when you are on a limited income travel can be expensive!

So killing several birds with one stone, I decided to build myself an inexpensive teardrop/grasshopper style travel trailer so I could, well, travel!

Staying at campgrounds is usually very cheap and often free, so as long as I can make the drive I now have a place to stay!

With a fully stocked and working galley kitchen in the back, full off grid water and electricity capabilities, and sanitary facilities, I can travel where I want to hang out, train, and more importantly…. Get away from the snow, ice, and cold of Kentucky winters!

The video below was made right before my most recent trip that included stops in Knoxville TN, Smokey Mountains, Rockingham NC, Atlanta GA, and Nashville TN. I got to train at several great BJJ schools with some really awesome people!

 

 

I built this camper without any plans, I had an idea in my head, and I took notes on-the-fly as I went. So I don’t have any plans, but here is my entire build from the ground up in pictures.























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The Blue Belt Conundrum

About a month or so ago I tested for – and passed – my blue belt test. This was a big moment for me, as I have been training in the Pedro Sauer association for over three and a half years. For most, blue belt takes about two years, but I’m somewhat of a special case.

Let’s face it, when you have no feet and only five fingers the road is a bit longer for ya.

But I walked that road, and got my blue belt.

YES! I made it farther than 75% of the people who start training BJJ! I beat the odds! I am no longer a white belt! No longer will I have to hear about not knowing enough because I’m a white belt, and that I can’t be innovative because of that cursed colorless length of cotton.

What’s that? Now blue doesn’t count either?

Yep, that’s right. Blue doesn’t mean anything either, depending on who you ask or what site or forum you’re visiting.

That’s the conundrum. Blue no longer seems to count as much.

When I was fist introduced to Jiu-Jitsu years ago my trainer was a high level blue belt under Royce Gracie. Back then I didn’t know a thing about the Gracie family, but I did know that a blue belt really meant something. Back then having a blue belt meant you were probably an instructor somewhere. MY teacher had that blue belt, but also had black belts in several other martial arts, so we trained a bit of everything.

Fast forward to me losing my limbs and my instructor is now a brown belt, and everything I learned before had to be re-learned, solely the Gracie way. There are quite a few black belts now, and I only have to travel a few hours to train with even a Professor (3 stripe black in PSBJJA).

Things are different now. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is much more main stream, and everyone seems to know what it is nowadays. Everyone also seems to have an opinion about it, whether or not they actually train. Sport vs Self Defense, Carlos vs Helio, Online training vs Academy training. All of this has made the blue belt I just worked so hard for seem like not so much of an achievement.

When I was a white belt your heard a lot of jokes. Just go check out my friends at White Belt Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and you can see meme after meme decrying the white belt condition. [also, they are hilarious. Really, go check them out] If you were a white belt you weren’t qualified to show someone else how to even tie a belt, much less defend a choke or perform a sweep. Now in the academy I train in that wasn’t the attitude, but just go online and have a look and you will see that attitude is very prevalent.

And that, my friends, is why I couldn’t wait for my blue belt. I have been in the grappling arts all my life, wrestling, catch wrestling, Japanese JiuJitsu, and now Gracie Jiu Jitsu. My belt may have been white, but my on the mat experience spoke to so much more. And I like to share knowledge. But sharing knowledge as a white belt seems to be taboo. I’m not talking instructing a class, I’m simply talking “Hey bro, put your foot here, instead, and that throw/lock/etc will work a little easier.”

I also wanted my blue belt because I want to share BJJ with more limb different and mobility limited people, and lets be honest… A white belt simply doesn’t get much respect.

But now I find blue belts don’t seem to get much respect, either. Well, maybe you do if you are a top level competitor, but if you aren’t making every tournament, then you still don’t know jack. That’s pretty darn discouraging, folks. What’s the point of trying to progress through the belts if you meet ridicule all along the way? When does it stop? Purple? Brown?

Now don’t get me wrong, not everyone takes this attitude, and really the people I train with that are important to me don’t think like that. I don’t have to hear it in person, so when I see it online I really just roll my eyes at it. But what is someone who doesn’t train at all supposed to think? Look at what the average person sees when someone makes comments about what blue belts don’t know. You are turning the blue belt into the new white belt!

Who wants to start training in an art where the first two belts don’t even count? Especially in a world where white belt takes so long that the upper echelon of the art is discussing breaking white up into two different belts? Fifteen years ago blue belt meant you knew what you were doing, at least a bit, and you were probably teaching classes in your own school. A blue belt meant you worked your ass off!

Now, a blue belt is just one more reason to make a meme.

In my journey to blue belt I have discovered what it really seems to mean.. Being a blue belt means that you have enough skill to defend yourself against someone who is an everyday brawler[read: someone who doesn’t know BJJ]. Being a blue belt means you know enough to show others how to defend themselves against the everyday.

What is blue belt on up for? Learning how to defend yourself against someone who DOES know jiu jitsu. That’s why getting to blue belt takes a couple of years, and the rest takes a lifetime.

So blue belts know a bit. We aren’t total bad asses, but we aren’t ignorant of the art. We know the basics, and we proved it. Now it’s just polish, polish, polish, until it shines.

Remember this, everyone from red belt on down, including you reading this, was once [or is] a white belt. You worked hard to make that goal of blue belt. Did you tell yourself then that you still really didn’t know anything? I bet not.

Then why, oh why, is my blue belt now worth less than yours was then?

That is the conundrum, isn’t it.

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Welcome to AdaptiveBJJ!

When I first began TFS, I was an upset, hurting, and new triple amputee. I spent much of my days trying to figure out how I was going to live again after losing all the fingers of my left hand and both legs below the knees due to a MRSA infection. I decided to blog about my experiences during recovery, and that blog turned into Two Feet Shorter.

I hope that TFS was helpful to many new amputees, Lord knows it was therapeutic for me in writing! Times change, and I have changed along with with it. I no longer felt the need to blog about daily battles as an amputee, and I began to post less and less. The things that became important in my life was travel, writing, and Gracie Jiu-Jitsu, and as great as those topics are, they were not always the proper thing to post on a blog built around recovery from amputations.

Thus, AdaptiveBJJ.com was created. Here you will find a bit about being an amputee, but much more about simply living life, and enjoying a BJJ Lifestyle. So please, come follow along with me as I live my life on my terms, not just as an amputee, but as a human being!

If you have been using TFS as a resource for students, don’t worry! You will find all those pages, posts, and blogs about my recovery right here on AdaptiveBJJ, just check out the links above, or use the search box on the right.

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All good things…..

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Update For The New Year

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