Jessica Wilde's Blog, page 2
January 31, 2014
Excerpt from Every One of Me
In preparation/celebration of EVERY ONE OF ME being submitted to Smashwords on February 2nd. Here is a little excerpt from the book.
Once submitted to Smashwords, it will then be distributed to B&N, Apple, Sony, Diesel, Kobo, etc...
YAY!!
"The doctor cleared his throat and shifted in his chair. "Theresa? Are you still there?"
She opened her eyes and looked straight at him and glared. The look on her face was familiar and brought me back to that night so many years ago when I witnessed her shatter.
"Shit!" Dr. Geoffrey exclaimed and hurried to the door. I didn't expect him to be anything but a stoic professional, which told me that this new development wasn't expected or desired today. At all.
Tess stayed in her chair, stiff and looking like she was about to snap into a million pieces. Dr. G called out to a couple of people and all I heard were loud footsteps getting closer. My eyes never left her and the urge to go to her was overpowering. She was beautiful, but so cold and angry.
She turned her head to look at me and her eyes widened. They were almost black, so different from the beautiful caramel and chocolate I could stare at forever, and they focused on my face, pinning me to my chair. Her expression softened infinitesimally, but not enough to wipe the fury away. Then she stood and took a step toward me.
"Are you going to hurt me?" she growled.
Her question surprised me, but she didn't look scared of me or even the slightest bit worried if the answer would ever be in the affirmative. It was almost as if she were threatening me. I spoke slowly and quietly, "No, Tess. I'm not going to hurt you."
Dr. G looked back into the room when I spoke and looked stunned. "Maybe you should--"
I raised my hand to stop him from talking, but kept my eyes on Tess. The sudden movement made her jerk in alarm, but she didn't step any closer.
"I know you won't hurt Tess," she sneered. "I asked if you are going to hurt me?" Her voice was hard and low. Completely different from Tessa's. She took another slow step toward me, but I held still, worried that I was going to scare her if I moved. This was still Tess, no matter what, this was still my Tess.
"I would never hurt you, Camryn."
She flinched back in surprise at hearing her name, but recovered quickly. "Yeah, sure! That's what they all say, but they always lie. Go ahead and do it. I'd rather you hurt me than her. I can take it!" She tilted her head slightly, "You'll regret it, though," she warned.
I stood then, slowly and cautiously, and she stiffened. Her jaw twitched and her eyes narrowed again, but I saw something that she was trying to hide. Something that Tess could never hide when she was struggling to control her emotions, but Camryn didn't know that. Her lips trembled, so slightly that I would have missed it if I didn't know to look for it. She was about to break down.
"Camryn, I would never hurt you," I said sincerely. "You are a part of Tess… and I love Tess." I swallowed hard and inched closer, "I want to help you protect her."
"I don't need any help!" she screamed, looking more and more like she was going to fall to her knees. Looking further and further from the Tess I knew, but she was still in there.
I saw Dr. Geoffrey and two other tall figures in the doorway out of the corner of my eye. I prayed they stayed where they were or Camryn was going to lose it. She must have noticed because she whirled around and grabbed the chair she had been sitting in, tipping it over and letting out a scream that sounded more like a growl.
I just reacted. I moved toward her faster than I had ever moved before, and wrapped my arms around her. She struggled to get away, but I held her tightly against me. She jerked in my arms and tried to turn to face me. When I let her and looked down at her face, the look in her eyes tore through my chest. She was so scared. Panicked.
"Let me go!" she bit out, but the shake in her voice didn't help the fierceness of her words.
I buried my face in her hair next to her ear. "Never," I whispered.
Her whole body uncoiled and she leaned into me as if she couldn't stand on her own. I held her up and she buried her face in my chest, breathing deeply and trying to hold back the sobs rising in her chest. "I'm here, Tess. Baby, come back to me. I'm here."
Her sobs tore out of her and her knees buckled. I lifted her into my arms and moved over to the couch on the other side of the room, cradling her against my chest and rocking her back and forth with my face buried in her hair. Her hands came up around my neck and she clung to me.
"My God," I heard the doctor breathe.
But as far as I was concerned, it was just Tess and me. "
Once submitted to Smashwords, it will then be distributed to B&N, Apple, Sony, Diesel, Kobo, etc...
YAY!!
"The doctor cleared his throat and shifted in his chair. "Theresa? Are you still there?"
She opened her eyes and looked straight at him and glared. The look on her face was familiar and brought me back to that night so many years ago when I witnessed her shatter.
"Shit!" Dr. Geoffrey exclaimed and hurried to the door. I didn't expect him to be anything but a stoic professional, which told me that this new development wasn't expected or desired today. At all.
Tess stayed in her chair, stiff and looking like she was about to snap into a million pieces. Dr. G called out to a couple of people and all I heard were loud footsteps getting closer. My eyes never left her and the urge to go to her was overpowering. She was beautiful, but so cold and angry.
She turned her head to look at me and her eyes widened. They were almost black, so different from the beautiful caramel and chocolate I could stare at forever, and they focused on my face, pinning me to my chair. Her expression softened infinitesimally, but not enough to wipe the fury away. Then she stood and took a step toward me.
"Are you going to hurt me?" she growled.
Her question surprised me, but she didn't look scared of me or even the slightest bit worried if the answer would ever be in the affirmative. It was almost as if she were threatening me. I spoke slowly and quietly, "No, Tess. I'm not going to hurt you."
Dr. G looked back into the room when I spoke and looked stunned. "Maybe you should--"
I raised my hand to stop him from talking, but kept my eyes on Tess. The sudden movement made her jerk in alarm, but she didn't step any closer.
"I know you won't hurt Tess," she sneered. "I asked if you are going to hurt me?" Her voice was hard and low. Completely different from Tessa's. She took another slow step toward me, but I held still, worried that I was going to scare her if I moved. This was still Tess, no matter what, this was still my Tess.
"I would never hurt you, Camryn."
She flinched back in surprise at hearing her name, but recovered quickly. "Yeah, sure! That's what they all say, but they always lie. Go ahead and do it. I'd rather you hurt me than her. I can take it!" She tilted her head slightly, "You'll regret it, though," she warned.
I stood then, slowly and cautiously, and she stiffened. Her jaw twitched and her eyes narrowed again, but I saw something that she was trying to hide. Something that Tess could never hide when she was struggling to control her emotions, but Camryn didn't know that. Her lips trembled, so slightly that I would have missed it if I didn't know to look for it. She was about to break down.
"Camryn, I would never hurt you," I said sincerely. "You are a part of Tess… and I love Tess." I swallowed hard and inched closer, "I want to help you protect her."
"I don't need any help!" she screamed, looking more and more like she was going to fall to her knees. Looking further and further from the Tess I knew, but she was still in there.
I saw Dr. Geoffrey and two other tall figures in the doorway out of the corner of my eye. I prayed they stayed where they were or Camryn was going to lose it. She must have noticed because she whirled around and grabbed the chair she had been sitting in, tipping it over and letting out a scream that sounded more like a growl.
I just reacted. I moved toward her faster than I had ever moved before, and wrapped my arms around her. She struggled to get away, but I held her tightly against me. She jerked in my arms and tried to turn to face me. When I let her and looked down at her face, the look in her eyes tore through my chest. She was so scared. Panicked.
"Let me go!" she bit out, but the shake in her voice didn't help the fierceness of her words.
I buried my face in her hair next to her ear. "Never," I whispered.
Her whole body uncoiled and she leaned into me as if she couldn't stand on her own. I held her up and she buried her face in my chest, breathing deeply and trying to hold back the sobs rising in her chest. "I'm here, Tess. Baby, come back to me. I'm here."
Her sobs tore out of her and her knees buckled. I lifted her into my arms and moved over to the couch on the other side of the room, cradling her against my chest and rocking her back and forth with my face buried in her hair. Her hands came up around my neck and she clung to me.
"My God," I heard the doctor breathe.
But as far as I was concerned, it was just Tess and me. "
January 12, 2014
The blurb is out! LEVERAGE
Adventure. That's all Aislinn 'Ash' Brannock wanted in her life. Her dad and two brothers - all cops - got to see it all, but their over-protectiveness made her feel like she had been locked away in a tower with three fire breathing dragons watching her every move. Yes, it was that bad. The only silver lining? Lucas Shade. Her brothers' best friend growing up, and apparently the only man she will ever love because let's face it, none of the others even come close. After an unfortunate mistake lands her back in her father's home, her world is turned upside down and Lucas is there in a tightly wrapped package of serious with a big red bow on top. Life just got interesting, but it comes with a price, one she never wanted to pay.
Detective Lucas Shade never had a real family, but the Brannocks took him in as one of their own and he never took it for granted. Ash was a big reason for why he stuck around, but in order to save himself the beating of a lifetime from her two older brothers, he kept his feelings for her hidden. When the case he has been working on for months takes a turn, Ash could become the leverage the bad guys have been waiting for, but keeping her invisible may destroy everything Lucas has worked so hard for. Good thing Ash is the only person he would give up everything to protect.
For readers 18+ due to language and sexual situations.
Detective Lucas Shade never had a real family, but the Brannocks took him in as one of their own and he never took it for granted. Ash was a big reason for why he stuck around, but in order to save himself the beating of a lifetime from her two older brothers, he kept his feelings for her hidden. When the case he has been working on for months takes a turn, Ash could become the leverage the bad guys have been waiting for, but keeping her invisible may destroy everything Lucas has worked so hard for. Good thing Ash is the only person he would give up everything to protect.
For readers 18+ due to language and sexual situations.
January 1, 2014
Excerpt from new book!
"Goodnight," he said and gave me that infamous wink.
This time, I was ready for it and I just smiled. "Goodnight, Lucas."
He walked down the porch steps and I started to close the door, hoping I would be able to catch up on some much needed sleep tonight.
"Oh, Aislinn?"
My heart thudded to a stop when I heard him call me by my full name. His voice was rough and made my crazy name the sexiest word I had ever heard.
"Yeah?" I croaked.
He shoved his hands in his pockets and held my stare. "I wouldn't mind."
"What?"
"Being stuck with you," he said. "No one could really mind that."
Then he turned and disappeared down the street, leaving me breathless and extremely confused.
"No sleep for Aislinn tonight then," I said to myself as I shut the door and turned the deadbolt.
"What was that?" Dad asked from behind me.
I jumped and slammed into the door. "For God's sake, Dad. Wear a damn bell or something! I swear you are like a cat."
He laughed and made his way up the stairs. "Oh I don't think so, my dear. You just can't pay attention to anything else when that man is around. Never have been able to."
"Ugh! I told you already. I'm over it… or I will be… I'm on my way. Well on my way and there is nothing that will happen to change my mind."
"Okay, Ash. Whatever you say," he waved without looking back at me and his voice was distant as he made it to the top of the stairs and started to his room.
"I'm serious, Daddy."
"Uh huh. I'm sure you are. Goodnight."
I stomped my foot in frustration because I knew he still didn't believe me. Hell, I didn't even believe me.
Didn't mean I wasn't going to try. Lucas Shade had too much power over me and I was going to take that power back. What better time to do it than when I was forced to be alone with him because my life could be in danger?
"God, I'm so screwed," I muttered.
"Yes you are."
"Aaah!" I screamed and looked up to see my dad at the top of the stairs smiling down at me. "I'm buying a bell tomorrow!" I yelled, then watched him walk away laughing.
You'd think he would be more serious at a time like this.
This time, I was ready for it and I just smiled. "Goodnight, Lucas."
He walked down the porch steps and I started to close the door, hoping I would be able to catch up on some much needed sleep tonight.
"Oh, Aislinn?"
My heart thudded to a stop when I heard him call me by my full name. His voice was rough and made my crazy name the sexiest word I had ever heard.
"Yeah?" I croaked.
He shoved his hands in his pockets and held my stare. "I wouldn't mind."
"What?"
"Being stuck with you," he said. "No one could really mind that."
Then he turned and disappeared down the street, leaving me breathless and extremely confused.
"No sleep for Aislinn tonight then," I said to myself as I shut the door and turned the deadbolt.
"What was that?" Dad asked from behind me.
I jumped and slammed into the door. "For God's sake, Dad. Wear a damn bell or something! I swear you are like a cat."
He laughed and made his way up the stairs. "Oh I don't think so, my dear. You just can't pay attention to anything else when that man is around. Never have been able to."
"Ugh! I told you already. I'm over it… or I will be… I'm on my way. Well on my way and there is nothing that will happen to change my mind."
"Okay, Ash. Whatever you say," he waved without looking back at me and his voice was distant as he made it to the top of the stairs and started to his room.
"I'm serious, Daddy."
"Uh huh. I'm sure you are. Goodnight."
I stomped my foot in frustration because I knew he still didn't believe me. Hell, I didn't even believe me.
Didn't mean I wasn't going to try. Lucas Shade had too much power over me and I was going to take that power back. What better time to do it than when I was forced to be alone with him because my life could be in danger?
"God, I'm so screwed," I muttered.
"Yes you are."
"Aaah!" I screamed and looked up to see my dad at the top of the stairs smiling down at me. "I'm buying a bell tomorrow!" I yelled, then watched him walk away laughing.
You'd think he would be more serious at a time like this.
December 1, 2013
Our Time release and updates
My new book, Our Time, is now available on Amazon Kindle and Smashwords for $2.99.
Will be available through other retailers soon.
YAY!!!
Also, Every One of Me will be going on sale this Friday, Dec. 6th for $.99 on Kindle until Sunday Dec. 9th.
Don't miss your chance to grab this great deal!
Will be available through other retailers soon.
YAY!!!
Also, Every One of Me will be going on sale this Friday, Dec. 6th for $.99 on Kindle until Sunday Dec. 9th.
Don't miss your chance to grab this great deal!
November 10, 2013
New Book Coming in December
My new book 'Our Time' will be releasing in December.
Wanted to share the first chapter with you.
----------Jocelyn
I woke to the sound of feet shuffling along the carpet of my room and a small voice saying "Mommy?". I smiled but kept my eyes shut. This was one of my favorite types of days. When my little girl, Olivia, would come in to wake me up. How she got out of her crib, I have no idea. She was just over 15 months old, but apparently, very coordinated.
The little pitter patter of tiny feet and the swish swish of her diaper came closer. I could hear Monty, our dog, panting behind her. He followed her everywhere, slept in her room, and was my best friend. I had a good life. A good family. I didn't about 2 years ago, but I do now. That's what matters.
My head was almost hanging off the bed. A habit, for some reason, to sleep as far to the edge of the bed as possible. Maybe I developed that habit with Dave, trying to stay as far away as I could. Unfortunately for my neck, I hadn't been able to change it yet.
Olivia was right in front of me and her little breaths warmed my cheek. Suddenly, I felt her tiny finger on my eye and she lifted my eyelid.
"Mommy? Up."
"Good morning, sweetie," I said with a big smile on my face. I reached out and yanked her onto the bed and started tickling her. Her giggles were the most incredible sound in the world and made me grateful to be alive. Her dark curls hung in her face and bounced around as she laughed and wriggled. She had chubby cheeks, dark eyebrows, and the sweetest little pink lips that could melt your heart when curled into a smile. Her eyes were gray with flecks of brown and green and blue. I have brown eyes and so did her father. How she got the beautiful eyes she did, I have no idea, but I wasn't complaining. She had 3 big teeth on top and 2 tiny ones on the bottom and the cheesiest smile. She was perfect.
Monty jumped up onto the foot of the bed and curled into a ball. He was my nearly 3 year old husky wolf hybrid. He was big enough for me at no more than 60 pounds, with black, white, and brown fur that gave him very distinct markings. I bought him when I was going through the heart ache of the worst news of my life. He brought me comfort and never left my side. I had trained him well and he was smarter than the average dog.
"Good morning, boy. Did you sleep well?" I asked.
He lifted his head, perked his pointy ears, and looked at me with a smirk.
"Okay, okay, I won't bug you this morning. But it wasn't my choice for you to sleep on the floor in her room. You are always welcome to come stay on the bed. You know that."
He let out a "humph" and curled his head into his legs as if saying 'yeah, well I do it for you'. I never understood how I got the dog that was actually a human with four legs, big ears and covered in fur. I wasn't complaining. He was a good dog and always listened.
I laughed at myself a little and Olivia crawled over to me and kissed my cheek.
"Moneen Mommy."
"Good morning to you too, my love," I whispered. She was speaking so well and would have conversations with herself all the time. The majority of it was gibberish, but you would occasionally catch clear words here and there such as kitty, meow, Monty, Mommy, sit, and ball to name just a few. They would kind of string together, but it was beautiful.
"Did you sleep well, sweetie?"
"Mommy seep?" she chirped.
"Yes, Mommy was asleep, but that's okay." I looked at the alarm clock on my tiny night stand. 8:04AM blinked at me in bright neon green. I was still exhausted from the move and my muscles ached from all the lifting I had done."It's time to get up and have breakfast, huh?"
She raised her tiny eyebrows and opened her mouth in fascination and gasped, "Eat?"
"Yes, baby girl. Eat. Come on, let's go." I kissed her chubby cheek and climbed out of bed. Monty jumped off the bed and followed. I carried Olivia down the stairs on my hip. She was still small, but heavy enough to leave me winded by the time we got down the stairs. I sat her in her high chair and opened the windows. May was nearly over and the cool spring air gave me the energy I needed to start the day. I started rummaging through the many boxes of food I still hadn't been able to unpack. The fridge consisted of milk, string cheese, a few cups of yogurt, butter, and jam.
"Looks like Mommy needs to get some groceries."
Monty had already taken his position next to Olivia's high chair, ready for anything she dropped for him. "Looks like it will be yogurt, toast, and oatmeal, my love."
Olivia giggled and smacked her hands on her tray. I set some bread in my ancient toaster and pushed the lever down. It took several tries for it to stick and engage the heat coils. Piece of crap toaster. Everything else was falling apart, why not the toaster?
I shook my head and willed myself to be positive. Positive. I had my sweet little girl. That was a big positive. My smart, partially human wolf dog. Another positive. My nice little home that was going to keep us safe and warm. My dinky little Honda with 175 thousand miles on it, but was still going strong, even after the long trip to Banks, Oregon. And my health…well, at least for now. All positives. Right? Yes. All of them.
I set an open yogurt on Olivia's tray with one of her small plastic spoons. She would use it for a little bit and then end up shoving her hand in the cup and scooping the yogurt out that way. It was messy, but effective, and I loved watching her do it. She was learning so much so fast and she wanted to do it all on her own.
The toast popped up and made me jump.
Olivia giggled, "Mommy silwee."
"Yes, Mommy is feeling awfully silly today," I said as I applied the butter and jam on her toast. "How's that yogurt?"
"Mmmm, nummy"
I smiled and broke small pieces off the toast and set them on her tray. I pulled out a packet of instant oatmeal and poured it into a bowl. "Oatmeal?" I asked her, holding up the bowl.
She just smiled and giggled.
I know that some people didn't really believe me, but Olivia was smarter than the average kid. She had understood me well for months and had been speaking for just as long. She was a handful and I loved every bit of her.
After she had eaten her breakfast and I had her cleaned up, she started throwing the ball for Monty. He wasn't a big fan of the game of fetch and would give up after two throws, but he humored her for a minute. I started to unpack a few food boxes, but stopped when Olivia came running into the kitchen laughing with Monty hot on her heels. She ran into my arms giggling and saying 'Monnee'.
"Oh my goodness, is Monty chasing you? Not good. Let's get him."
I put her down and she took off after him. He slipped over the floor a few times before getting his footing and started running away. This only made her giggle more. I chased both of them up the stairs. Olivia was moving as fast as she could, but was laughing so hard she kept slipping. When we got to the top, Monty was waiting for us and wagging his tail with his butt in the air and his head low to the ground. Yes, this was all positive. And all I needed.
----------------Andrew
I woke with a start. There was barking and giggling and pounding that felt like it was all around me. I looked over at the clock. 8:30 AM.
"Seriously?!"
I covered my head with my pillow and groaned. I had worked all night and didn't get to bed until 7:30 this morning. I was exhausted and angry. Last night had been one hell of a night. I was running security at one of the clubs and couldn't count the number of fights I had to break up. People these days were absolutely ridiculous. If you don't want some other guy looking at your girl, keep her at home, and don't let her dress in something that closely resembles a skimpy swimming suit. I wouldn't have gotten home so late… or early I guess… if Megan hadn't showed up. She figured out where I was working and decided to bring her crazy with her.
Why I was with her for as long as I was, I'll never know. I keep chalking it up to being horny and just not having the time to find anyone else, but I know that isn't true. I was tired of being alone all the time and she was an easy distraction. That all ended a long time ago and even though I was still lonely, I was glad I didn't have to spend any time with her anymore. She was an awful human being. I was very clear about not wanting to see her anymore, but like I said, she's crazy. Or deaf.
I attracted all the crazies, though, so I was used to it. Doesn't mean I liked it at all. Just dealt with it until I found someone worth spending time with.
More barking, more pounding, more giggling.
"That's it!"
I flung the covers off of me and flew out of bed. I knew there was someone moving in to the townhouse connected to mine, but I was told that it wouldn't be someone who would disturb the peace of this quiet little subdivision. Apparently, peace has several different definitions.
I hadn't seen anyone around lately and hadn't heard anything on the other side of my wall until now, so I had no idea what exactly was waiting for me over there, but something in my head said it wouldn't be who I expected.
I yanked my shorts on and a raggedy t-shirt and stomped down the hall and down the stairs. I stopped at my front door and took a few deep breaths.
"Okay, Andrew. No need to get to upset. They probably don't realize that you were up all night trying to save your job because your psycho ex-girlfriend decided to take the opportunity to describe how worthless you are yet still try to convince you that she needs you." Another deep breath. "These people don't realize that you are trying to sleep that off. So calm down."
I felt better by the time I opened my door and walked the 20 feet to the front door of my new neighbor. The screen was shut, but the main door was wide open and I could tell that no progress had been made on the 'moving in'.
I knocked on the flimsy screen door a couple times and waited. The pounding sounded again, but was getting closer. That's when I saw the wolf bounding toward the door. I took a step back, but caught my breath when he came closer. He was a pretty cool looking dog. Black covered most of his body, but his face and legs had white and brown markings. His chest was marked with white fur that shaped into a cross or dagger and disappeared under his belly.
"Hey there… dog." God, that sounded pathetic.
The dog sat down by the door and started… howling? Singing? I wasn't sure, but it really sounded like he was speaking real words in a high pitched voice.
"Monty, tst tst."
I whipped my head up and saw her. She snapped her fingers and the dog - who apparently was named Monty - laid down at her feet when she approached the door. She was holding a little girl with dark brown curly hair on her hip and was breathing heavily as if she had just run a mile.
"Can I help you?" she asked. Her voice was hoarse and tired.
She was beautiful. Long brown hair hung just below her shoulders and her dark brown eyes, framed by long black lashes, focused on me like she was watching for any sudden movements. She had a slight flush to her skin and I could see that she was probably part of the pounding around I had heard. She was slender and a little on the short side at no more than 5'4", but had curves that my hands suddenly itched to latch on to. I shook my head slightly attempting to remove those thoughts and tried to speak.
"Um…" my voice cracked and I cleared it and opened my mouth to try again.
"Hi."
My eyes darted over to where the sweet little voice came from. The girl was turned my way now and I could see her gray eyes brighten as a smile stretched across her lips.
"Hi," I replied uncertainly. "Look, I'm sorry to bug you and I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I just got back from a late night of work and I'm trying to catch up on some sleep."
"Oh, I'm so sorry. We have been pretty loud, I guess," she smiled, but flushed a little redder. She was genuinely embarrassed. "We aren't normally that loud. Monty usually doesn't bark, he just got a little excited chasing us around." She moved a hand through her hair and looked down at the dog, who was still eyeing me curiously.
I must admit, it was freaking me out a little. It seemed like he was trying to tell me something.
"It's no problem. I don't usually work that late so you won't have to worry about it too much in the future. I just uh…I had a rough night," I said. I decided then that maybe I shouldn't have come over. I reacted before really thinking it out and now I felt horrible. She probably thought I was a jerk. I couldn't peel my eyes away from her and I scrambled for a way to redeem myself.
"We are leaving in a few minutes, but I promise we will be quiet until we go. I'm sorry again." She seemed flustered, but ready to end the conversation and shut the door.
The little girl turned and touched the woman's face, "Mommy? Hoo dat?" She pointed a chubby little finger my way and looked back over at me with a serious face.
"Oh, that's… " she looked over at me and waited for me to introduce myself.
"Andrew. I'm Andrew Carter. Nice to meet you." I was never any good at talking to kids. My sister, Madison, is only a couple years younger than me and hasn't had any kids yet, so I had nothing to go off of.
"Adoo?" the little girl said and beamed a smile right at me.
I think my heart skipped a beat when she said my name and all my thoughts jumbled together. This little girl was something special.
"Yes, that's right, love. Andrew is our neighbor. He is trying to sleep so we need to be quiet, okay?"
"Adoo, shhh" she said and put her finger to her lips and giggled.
I think I fell in love with that little girl right then and there. My heart was tight in my chest and I had to catch my breath. She was the sweetest little thing I had ever seen. She smiled shyly at me with her hands curled under her neck and her teeth showing.
"What's your name, beautiful?" I asked, not daring to take my eyes off of her yet in fear that my heart would shatter into a million pieces.
"Olivia," the woman said.
"Olivia. What a pretty name. And what is your mommy's name?"
Olivia looked up at her mother and said, "Mommy!" She smiled and kissed her mother's cheek with a loud smack.
"Jocelyn. Jocelyn White." She smiled and held Olivia tightly.
I met her gaze and gave her my best smile and nodded. Gorgeous.
Monty started to get a little restless and stood. Jocelyn made some kind of signal with her fingers and said "tst tst" and he immediately laid down with his ears perked.
"Good dog you have there," I said and gestured to him.
"Yeah, that's Monty. Um, like I said, we are leaving in a few minutes so we promise to be quiet. Just finishing cleaning up the kitchen. I need to go buy some supplies and groceries, so we will be out for a while." She put Olivia down at her feet and the little girl immediately walked over to Monty and sat down on his back, straddling him.
"Don't worry about it. Like I said, I rarely work very late." I hesitated to leave and looked into her home again. "Looks like you still have a lot to do."
She glanced back into her living room and nodded. "Yeah, we do. I would have had most of it done yesterday, but we decided to build a fort instead."
I couldn't stop the chuckle, "A fort?"
"Yeah. We stacked a bunch of boxes and…you know what? We better finish getting ready. I have a lot to do still." She started to close the main door.
I gave a pathetic little wave and said, "Sorry to keep you." Then something stopped me from turning away. Did she have someone to help her? How did she even get all of that stuff in there? I couldn't just let her do it on her own. Could I?
"Hey, wait!" I said without thinking any longer.
Jocelyn paused but didn't open the door any wider, "Yes?"
"Um, well, I'm sure your husband will take care of it, but if you need my help with any of the furniture or heavy boxes, don't be afraid to ask." Did that sound like I was fishing for information? Yeah, it did. I mentally smacked myself on the forehead and waited for her response.
"Oh…um…" she looked over her shoulder and then back at me. "I'm not married. It's just the three of us. I'm sure I can manage, but thank you anyway."
"What? You don't have anybody helping you? You can't move this stuff on your own." I was surprised by the sudden flare of temper that shot through me. In some way, I was hoping that she did have a husband so she wouldn't be alone. Where was Olivia's father?
Jocelyn fidgeted with the door handle and looked extremely uncomfortable. Crap, way to go and make her feel bad about it.
"Why don't you come knock when you are ready to move things? I'll help you. I don' t have to work tonight or tomorrow so it will give me something to do… if that's alright with you," I said. Nothing to do with anything else but being a good neighbor, right? Why do I talk before I think. You can't get involved with a woman who already has a kid. That's too much.
She bit her bottom lip and looked at me skeptically. Olivia lifted her hand and patted Jocelyn's leg. "Mommy."
"Thanks Andrew. I appreciate that." The sound of my name on her voice did something to my stomach and made my heart thump against my chest a little harder than what I thought was normal. She moved to shut the front door, my cue to leave.
"Great, I'll see you later then." I turned and started back to my front door.
"Bye," I heard a little voice say just before her door clicked shut.
I climbed the stairs slowly, my exhaustion taking over me again. I flopped on the bed without removing any of my clothes. She probably thinks I'm a creep now. I shouldn't have come on so strong, but how could I not. That little girl was so adorable and Jocelyn. There was something about her. I don't know how a single mother can move somewhere new all by herself with a child and a dog.
My thoughts stayed on the three of them until the fog of sleep settled in. Finally, I thought before everything faded.
Can't wait to show you the rest!!!
Wanted to share the first chapter with you.
----------Jocelyn
I woke to the sound of feet shuffling along the carpet of my room and a small voice saying "Mommy?". I smiled but kept my eyes shut. This was one of my favorite types of days. When my little girl, Olivia, would come in to wake me up. How she got out of her crib, I have no idea. She was just over 15 months old, but apparently, very coordinated.
The little pitter patter of tiny feet and the swish swish of her diaper came closer. I could hear Monty, our dog, panting behind her. He followed her everywhere, slept in her room, and was my best friend. I had a good life. A good family. I didn't about 2 years ago, but I do now. That's what matters.
My head was almost hanging off the bed. A habit, for some reason, to sleep as far to the edge of the bed as possible. Maybe I developed that habit with Dave, trying to stay as far away as I could. Unfortunately for my neck, I hadn't been able to change it yet.
Olivia was right in front of me and her little breaths warmed my cheek. Suddenly, I felt her tiny finger on my eye and she lifted my eyelid.
"Mommy? Up."
"Good morning, sweetie," I said with a big smile on my face. I reached out and yanked her onto the bed and started tickling her. Her giggles were the most incredible sound in the world and made me grateful to be alive. Her dark curls hung in her face and bounced around as she laughed and wriggled. She had chubby cheeks, dark eyebrows, and the sweetest little pink lips that could melt your heart when curled into a smile. Her eyes were gray with flecks of brown and green and blue. I have brown eyes and so did her father. How she got the beautiful eyes she did, I have no idea, but I wasn't complaining. She had 3 big teeth on top and 2 tiny ones on the bottom and the cheesiest smile. She was perfect.
Monty jumped up onto the foot of the bed and curled into a ball. He was my nearly 3 year old husky wolf hybrid. He was big enough for me at no more than 60 pounds, with black, white, and brown fur that gave him very distinct markings. I bought him when I was going through the heart ache of the worst news of my life. He brought me comfort and never left my side. I had trained him well and he was smarter than the average dog.
"Good morning, boy. Did you sleep well?" I asked.
He lifted his head, perked his pointy ears, and looked at me with a smirk.
"Okay, okay, I won't bug you this morning. But it wasn't my choice for you to sleep on the floor in her room. You are always welcome to come stay on the bed. You know that."
He let out a "humph" and curled his head into his legs as if saying 'yeah, well I do it for you'. I never understood how I got the dog that was actually a human with four legs, big ears and covered in fur. I wasn't complaining. He was a good dog and always listened.
I laughed at myself a little and Olivia crawled over to me and kissed my cheek.
"Moneen Mommy."
"Good morning to you too, my love," I whispered. She was speaking so well and would have conversations with herself all the time. The majority of it was gibberish, but you would occasionally catch clear words here and there such as kitty, meow, Monty, Mommy, sit, and ball to name just a few. They would kind of string together, but it was beautiful.
"Did you sleep well, sweetie?"
"Mommy seep?" she chirped.
"Yes, Mommy was asleep, but that's okay." I looked at the alarm clock on my tiny night stand. 8:04AM blinked at me in bright neon green. I was still exhausted from the move and my muscles ached from all the lifting I had done."It's time to get up and have breakfast, huh?"
She raised her tiny eyebrows and opened her mouth in fascination and gasped, "Eat?"
"Yes, baby girl. Eat. Come on, let's go." I kissed her chubby cheek and climbed out of bed. Monty jumped off the bed and followed. I carried Olivia down the stairs on my hip. She was still small, but heavy enough to leave me winded by the time we got down the stairs. I sat her in her high chair and opened the windows. May was nearly over and the cool spring air gave me the energy I needed to start the day. I started rummaging through the many boxes of food I still hadn't been able to unpack. The fridge consisted of milk, string cheese, a few cups of yogurt, butter, and jam.
"Looks like Mommy needs to get some groceries."
Monty had already taken his position next to Olivia's high chair, ready for anything she dropped for him. "Looks like it will be yogurt, toast, and oatmeal, my love."
Olivia giggled and smacked her hands on her tray. I set some bread in my ancient toaster and pushed the lever down. It took several tries for it to stick and engage the heat coils. Piece of crap toaster. Everything else was falling apart, why not the toaster?
I shook my head and willed myself to be positive. Positive. I had my sweet little girl. That was a big positive. My smart, partially human wolf dog. Another positive. My nice little home that was going to keep us safe and warm. My dinky little Honda with 175 thousand miles on it, but was still going strong, even after the long trip to Banks, Oregon. And my health…well, at least for now. All positives. Right? Yes. All of them.
I set an open yogurt on Olivia's tray with one of her small plastic spoons. She would use it for a little bit and then end up shoving her hand in the cup and scooping the yogurt out that way. It was messy, but effective, and I loved watching her do it. She was learning so much so fast and she wanted to do it all on her own.
The toast popped up and made me jump.
Olivia giggled, "Mommy silwee."
"Yes, Mommy is feeling awfully silly today," I said as I applied the butter and jam on her toast. "How's that yogurt?"
"Mmmm, nummy"
I smiled and broke small pieces off the toast and set them on her tray. I pulled out a packet of instant oatmeal and poured it into a bowl. "Oatmeal?" I asked her, holding up the bowl.
She just smiled and giggled.
I know that some people didn't really believe me, but Olivia was smarter than the average kid. She had understood me well for months and had been speaking for just as long. She was a handful and I loved every bit of her.
After she had eaten her breakfast and I had her cleaned up, she started throwing the ball for Monty. He wasn't a big fan of the game of fetch and would give up after two throws, but he humored her for a minute. I started to unpack a few food boxes, but stopped when Olivia came running into the kitchen laughing with Monty hot on her heels. She ran into my arms giggling and saying 'Monnee'.
"Oh my goodness, is Monty chasing you? Not good. Let's get him."
I put her down and she took off after him. He slipped over the floor a few times before getting his footing and started running away. This only made her giggle more. I chased both of them up the stairs. Olivia was moving as fast as she could, but was laughing so hard she kept slipping. When we got to the top, Monty was waiting for us and wagging his tail with his butt in the air and his head low to the ground. Yes, this was all positive. And all I needed.
----------------Andrew
I woke with a start. There was barking and giggling and pounding that felt like it was all around me. I looked over at the clock. 8:30 AM.
"Seriously?!"
I covered my head with my pillow and groaned. I had worked all night and didn't get to bed until 7:30 this morning. I was exhausted and angry. Last night had been one hell of a night. I was running security at one of the clubs and couldn't count the number of fights I had to break up. People these days were absolutely ridiculous. If you don't want some other guy looking at your girl, keep her at home, and don't let her dress in something that closely resembles a skimpy swimming suit. I wouldn't have gotten home so late… or early I guess… if Megan hadn't showed up. She figured out where I was working and decided to bring her crazy with her.
Why I was with her for as long as I was, I'll never know. I keep chalking it up to being horny and just not having the time to find anyone else, but I know that isn't true. I was tired of being alone all the time and she was an easy distraction. That all ended a long time ago and even though I was still lonely, I was glad I didn't have to spend any time with her anymore. She was an awful human being. I was very clear about not wanting to see her anymore, but like I said, she's crazy. Or deaf.
I attracted all the crazies, though, so I was used to it. Doesn't mean I liked it at all. Just dealt with it until I found someone worth spending time with.
More barking, more pounding, more giggling.
"That's it!"
I flung the covers off of me and flew out of bed. I knew there was someone moving in to the townhouse connected to mine, but I was told that it wouldn't be someone who would disturb the peace of this quiet little subdivision. Apparently, peace has several different definitions.
I hadn't seen anyone around lately and hadn't heard anything on the other side of my wall until now, so I had no idea what exactly was waiting for me over there, but something in my head said it wouldn't be who I expected.
I yanked my shorts on and a raggedy t-shirt and stomped down the hall and down the stairs. I stopped at my front door and took a few deep breaths.
"Okay, Andrew. No need to get to upset. They probably don't realize that you were up all night trying to save your job because your psycho ex-girlfriend decided to take the opportunity to describe how worthless you are yet still try to convince you that she needs you." Another deep breath. "These people don't realize that you are trying to sleep that off. So calm down."
I felt better by the time I opened my door and walked the 20 feet to the front door of my new neighbor. The screen was shut, but the main door was wide open and I could tell that no progress had been made on the 'moving in'.
I knocked on the flimsy screen door a couple times and waited. The pounding sounded again, but was getting closer. That's when I saw the wolf bounding toward the door. I took a step back, but caught my breath when he came closer. He was a pretty cool looking dog. Black covered most of his body, but his face and legs had white and brown markings. His chest was marked with white fur that shaped into a cross or dagger and disappeared under his belly.
"Hey there… dog." God, that sounded pathetic.
The dog sat down by the door and started… howling? Singing? I wasn't sure, but it really sounded like he was speaking real words in a high pitched voice.
"Monty, tst tst."
I whipped my head up and saw her. She snapped her fingers and the dog - who apparently was named Monty - laid down at her feet when she approached the door. She was holding a little girl with dark brown curly hair on her hip and was breathing heavily as if she had just run a mile.
"Can I help you?" she asked. Her voice was hoarse and tired.
She was beautiful. Long brown hair hung just below her shoulders and her dark brown eyes, framed by long black lashes, focused on me like she was watching for any sudden movements. She had a slight flush to her skin and I could see that she was probably part of the pounding around I had heard. She was slender and a little on the short side at no more than 5'4", but had curves that my hands suddenly itched to latch on to. I shook my head slightly attempting to remove those thoughts and tried to speak.
"Um…" my voice cracked and I cleared it and opened my mouth to try again.
"Hi."
My eyes darted over to where the sweet little voice came from. The girl was turned my way now and I could see her gray eyes brighten as a smile stretched across her lips.
"Hi," I replied uncertainly. "Look, I'm sorry to bug you and I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I just got back from a late night of work and I'm trying to catch up on some sleep."
"Oh, I'm so sorry. We have been pretty loud, I guess," she smiled, but flushed a little redder. She was genuinely embarrassed. "We aren't normally that loud. Monty usually doesn't bark, he just got a little excited chasing us around." She moved a hand through her hair and looked down at the dog, who was still eyeing me curiously.
I must admit, it was freaking me out a little. It seemed like he was trying to tell me something.
"It's no problem. I don't usually work that late so you won't have to worry about it too much in the future. I just uh…I had a rough night," I said. I decided then that maybe I shouldn't have come over. I reacted before really thinking it out and now I felt horrible. She probably thought I was a jerk. I couldn't peel my eyes away from her and I scrambled for a way to redeem myself.
"We are leaving in a few minutes, but I promise we will be quiet until we go. I'm sorry again." She seemed flustered, but ready to end the conversation and shut the door.
The little girl turned and touched the woman's face, "Mommy? Hoo dat?" She pointed a chubby little finger my way and looked back over at me with a serious face.
"Oh, that's… " she looked over at me and waited for me to introduce myself.
"Andrew. I'm Andrew Carter. Nice to meet you." I was never any good at talking to kids. My sister, Madison, is only a couple years younger than me and hasn't had any kids yet, so I had nothing to go off of.
"Adoo?" the little girl said and beamed a smile right at me.
I think my heart skipped a beat when she said my name and all my thoughts jumbled together. This little girl was something special.
"Yes, that's right, love. Andrew is our neighbor. He is trying to sleep so we need to be quiet, okay?"
"Adoo, shhh" she said and put her finger to her lips and giggled.
I think I fell in love with that little girl right then and there. My heart was tight in my chest and I had to catch my breath. She was the sweetest little thing I had ever seen. She smiled shyly at me with her hands curled under her neck and her teeth showing.
"What's your name, beautiful?" I asked, not daring to take my eyes off of her yet in fear that my heart would shatter into a million pieces.
"Olivia," the woman said.
"Olivia. What a pretty name. And what is your mommy's name?"
Olivia looked up at her mother and said, "Mommy!" She smiled and kissed her mother's cheek with a loud smack.
"Jocelyn. Jocelyn White." She smiled and held Olivia tightly.
I met her gaze and gave her my best smile and nodded. Gorgeous.
Monty started to get a little restless and stood. Jocelyn made some kind of signal with her fingers and said "tst tst" and he immediately laid down with his ears perked.
"Good dog you have there," I said and gestured to him.
"Yeah, that's Monty. Um, like I said, we are leaving in a few minutes so we promise to be quiet. Just finishing cleaning up the kitchen. I need to go buy some supplies and groceries, so we will be out for a while." She put Olivia down at her feet and the little girl immediately walked over to Monty and sat down on his back, straddling him.
"Don't worry about it. Like I said, I rarely work very late." I hesitated to leave and looked into her home again. "Looks like you still have a lot to do."
She glanced back into her living room and nodded. "Yeah, we do. I would have had most of it done yesterday, but we decided to build a fort instead."
I couldn't stop the chuckle, "A fort?"
"Yeah. We stacked a bunch of boxes and…you know what? We better finish getting ready. I have a lot to do still." She started to close the main door.
I gave a pathetic little wave and said, "Sorry to keep you." Then something stopped me from turning away. Did she have someone to help her? How did she even get all of that stuff in there? I couldn't just let her do it on her own. Could I?
"Hey, wait!" I said without thinking any longer.
Jocelyn paused but didn't open the door any wider, "Yes?"
"Um, well, I'm sure your husband will take care of it, but if you need my help with any of the furniture or heavy boxes, don't be afraid to ask." Did that sound like I was fishing for information? Yeah, it did. I mentally smacked myself on the forehead and waited for her response.
"Oh…um…" she looked over her shoulder and then back at me. "I'm not married. It's just the three of us. I'm sure I can manage, but thank you anyway."
"What? You don't have anybody helping you? You can't move this stuff on your own." I was surprised by the sudden flare of temper that shot through me. In some way, I was hoping that she did have a husband so she wouldn't be alone. Where was Olivia's father?
Jocelyn fidgeted with the door handle and looked extremely uncomfortable. Crap, way to go and make her feel bad about it.
"Why don't you come knock when you are ready to move things? I'll help you. I don' t have to work tonight or tomorrow so it will give me something to do… if that's alright with you," I said. Nothing to do with anything else but being a good neighbor, right? Why do I talk before I think. You can't get involved with a woman who already has a kid. That's too much.
She bit her bottom lip and looked at me skeptically. Olivia lifted her hand and patted Jocelyn's leg. "Mommy."
"Thanks Andrew. I appreciate that." The sound of my name on her voice did something to my stomach and made my heart thump against my chest a little harder than what I thought was normal. She moved to shut the front door, my cue to leave.
"Great, I'll see you later then." I turned and started back to my front door.
"Bye," I heard a little voice say just before her door clicked shut.
I climbed the stairs slowly, my exhaustion taking over me again. I flopped on the bed without removing any of my clothes. She probably thinks I'm a creep now. I shouldn't have come on so strong, but how could I not. That little girl was so adorable and Jocelyn. There was something about her. I don't know how a single mother can move somewhere new all by herself with a child and a dog.
My thoughts stayed on the three of them until the fog of sleep settled in. Finally, I thought before everything faded.
Can't wait to show you the rest!!!
