Will Once's Blog, page 18

The blank page

I’ve just started to write a new book. I know, I know, I haven’t properly finished the last one. But I have done all I can do with it for now. I’ve written the first pass and then edited it several times. Now it’s off to beta readers and my proof-reader alternately to pick holes…

Right to offend?

Something has been bothering me about the Charlie Hebdo case. Actually, many things have been bothering me about this sad affair, but there is one thing that has puzzled me more than anything else. Why are people talking about a right to offend? Where did that come from? We are hearing it all the time.…

No, Charlie, no

It has happened. I more or less knew it would, but I had hoped that a bit of common sense would prevail. Charlie Hebdo have published an edition of their magazine with a cartoon of the prophet Mohammed on the front cover. My heart sinks. It is one of the most stupid, crass and insensitive…

Optical delusions

A true story… I have a mild crush for my optician. Don’t worry – the Mem does too. If ever we get around to a threesome she would be near the top of the list. Once I had put my foot down to veto George Clooney. I suppose it’s inevitable. Here is a woman who…

I am NOT Charlie

It is another day of atrocities. Gunmen on the streets of Paris. At least thirteen people have been killed and the death toll may yet rise. Most people are rightly shocked, dismayed, heart-broken. And let’s be very clear about this. The killings are abhorrent. They are not justified. They should not happen. The people responsible…

That’s not my Dad

That’s not my Dad. Skeleton thin and tubes in his skin. My Dad is coal black hair, the ladies’ man in his day, Teddy Boy, Jack the lad. That’s not my Dad. Sitting in the chair all night, the cancer digging barbs in his throat. Fighting the pain with drugs that dull, but never quite…

New Year resolutions

New Year Resolutions In Thunderball, James Bond says that he is an expert at giving up smoking because he has done it so often. It’s a joke that has always tickled me because it is so very true. The same applies to New Year resolutions. How many times do we set resolutions that are the…

Losing my virginity

I broke the bed when I lost my virginity. That might give you an image of hairy-chested alpha-male muscular masculinity. Or maybe even a swan dive with double backflip in the pike position from the top of the wardrobe. Jeremy Clarkson bragging that the last time he had this much fun some furniture got broken.…

Nearly Turkey

It is that time of year to contemplate Christmasses past. I recall a time when I spent the whole of Christmas morning making something that was not quite turkey. Our story doesn’t start there. Before we can talk turkey, I’d like to give an award to the magnificent duck. It strikes me that the duck…

Dear Santa

Santa Claws Santas Grotty The North Pole   Dear Santa   Mummy says that I should always say my thanks you. Even if the prezzies are’nt exackly what I aksed for. Thank you. Now we’ve got that bit out of the way, I gotta make a complaint. I think you got some prezzies wrong. It…