Matt Fradd's Blog, page 12

We’re Catholics in Exile. What Should We Do?

Increasingly, it feels like faithful Catholics are being shut out of society and even the Church. Traditionalists feel dismissed by the hierarchy. LGBTQ activists call us haters. The list goes on.

It’s easy to feel anxious and angry over this treatment. Here’s how to manage these negative sentiments so they don’t rule your life.

Focus your energy on what you can control.
Author, speaker, and businessman Stephen Covey speaks of the spheres of control, influence, and concern. Our sphere of control is the smallest of the three; the sphere of concern is the largest.

Your sphere of concern may be massive: foreign wars, the world economy, the conflict between the pope and bishops. Your sphere of control includes your family and career — in a nutshell, your vocation.

When your sphere of concern grows larger, your sphere of control shrinks. The more you fret about what’s happening in the Church and the world, the less energy you have to devote to the people and tasks God put in your life.

In contrast, the more you invest in your sphere of control, the more that sphere increases, and you have greater energy to deal with bigger problems. As Christ said in Luke 16:10, “He who is faithful in a very little is faithful also in much.”

You can’t control everything, so practice easing up. Unplug yourself from social media and the news on a regular basis. Spend more time with your family and friends. You’ll be surprised how much you DON’T need to know about what’s going on in the world.

To make the most of the extra time, you could:

– Read Scripture or a devotional book.
– Play games with your kids.
– Take your spouse on a date.
– Go for a walk in nature.
– Attend Holy Hour.

We’re not saying you should completely disengage from the world and Church politics. But if they’re disturbing your peace of mind, it’s time to dial back.

In the end, only one thing matters: your fidelity to Jesus Christ.

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How to Trans-Proof Your Kids

Transgender activists are making huge inroads into our schools, businesses, political institutions, and churches. We can’t afford to sit around and do nothing. If we snooze, we lose.

Here are some steps to take to protect your kids from harmful transgender ideology.

Remind them of their God-given identity early on.
Tell them that from the very moment of their creation, they were a boy or a girl. That identity will never change. Every part of their body — heart, lungs, skin — is stamped male or female.

The trans crowd is trying to get your kids, so you need to clearly communicate the truth to them at a very young age.

Assure them that there are many ways of being a man or woman.
While you must firmly reject the idea that a man can become a woman — and vice versa — you also should avoid overly rigorous definitions of male and female. Each of us has traditional masculine and feminine characteristics in different proportions.

Some men have stronger feminine traits than others. This doesn’t make them a woman, but it also shouldn’t be a source of shame for them. Don’t criticize a male child who’s not interested in football, nor a female child who doesn’t like dolls.

Instill in them that their bodies are a miracle!
Whether they are male or female, your children are wonderfully made by God. Both bodies reveal His love and your children’s dignity. Instill body positivity from an early age. Not the extreme woke version, but the fact that their bodies are marvelous gifts from God.

Their bodies are delicate ecosystems, easily damaged by puberty blockers and other tools used in gender transitioning. Those who truly honor their bodies won’t subject themselves to these harmful practices.

It’s time for parents to take a united stand against harmful transgender ideology. Too many of our kids have been brainwashed into hating their God-given selves. We still have time to turn our culture back to the truth, so let’s get to work!

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The SHOCKING Unity Of Catholicism and Southern Heritage

The Southern United States is sometimes criticized for being “backward” by political and cultural elites.

But in some ways, the South and Catholicism are moving closer together, so perhaps the South is actually championing important values better than other parts of the country.

Our friend Dr. Alan Harrelson thinks so. A genuine Southerner and convert to Catholicism, he shares his thoughts on the unity of Catholicism and Southern heritage.

We’ve taken a wrong turn somewhere in modern society.
Many Southern writers emphasize this point. They criticize modern society for being far too interested in what’s happening now and how we can improve ourselves tomorrow, forgetting those who have come before us.

In the South, you’ll find an appreciation for tradition and the wisdom of elders that you don’t find as strong in other parts of the United States. Of course, the Catholic Church also builds its faith on tradition, holding fast to the teaching of Christ even when it doesn’t suit our contemporaries.

The South has never been as fully comfortable with moving into the 20th and 21st centuries as other places when it comes to the moral pragmatism that has become a dominant philosophy of Americans: “Whatever your truth is, is true for you. My truth is true for me.” Many Southerners have the wisdom to reject this thinking. The Church also rejects this type of radical subjectivism.

We have respect for a rural and agricultural lifestyle.
Russell Kirk — a major influence on American conservatism — identifies this as one of Southern conservatism’s major contributions to the United States.

Admittedly, we’re becoming far too urban in society. Farmers are the bedrock of a thriving state. The Church — while appreciating the positive aspects of urban life — has repeatedly defended farmers and their importance. As Pope Benedict XVI noted: “The process of industrialization has often overshadowed the agricultural sector, which although benefiting in its turn from modern technology has nevertheless lost importance with notable consequences, even at the cultural level. It seems to me that it is time to re-evaluate agriculture, not in a nostalgic sense, but as an indispensable resource for the future.”

Of course, many of the points here are broad generalizations. There are people who embody the values talked about here in the Northeast, Northwest, and so on. But the South seems to be taking a stronger stand on many important issues and it’s time for the rest of the country to follow its lead.

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Should You Baptize a Baby Against the Parents’ Wishes?

There have been times in Church history when individual Catholics have secretly baptized the child of non-Catholic parents without their consent. Their reasoning seemed pretty solid: Baptism is necessary for salvation.

However, parents have rights over their children.

Let’s investigate this act to determine if it’s ever OK.

What “baptism is necessary for salvation” means.
The Church teaches that baptism is the ordinary means of salvation. This means that God arranged things as He did willing for us to receive baptism in order to be incorporated into the Church and to receive His divine life in us.

However, the Church also teaches that God is not bound by His sacraments. He can choose to save someone who — through no fault of their own — cannot receive baptism. For example, a catechumen is set to receive baptism in a few weeks but is murdered beforehand. They can still be saved because of the intense desire they had to be baptized.

This means we shouldn’t despair over the souls of infants who die without the sacraments. We should simply entrust them to the care of our infinitely loving God.

Non-Catholic parents also have parental rights.
God, in His Providence, ordains that each child is born to a particular set of parents. In other words, the child’s birth to non-Catholics is not an accident.

St. Thomas Aquinas teaches that even non-Catholic parents retain their parental rights. Therefore, one should not baptize an infant against the will of the parents because it undermines their natural authority. He also points out that it’s very unlikely that such a child would be raised in the faith.

There’s one exception.
If an infant is dying, anybody can baptize them, including a layperson. All you must do is pour true water over the baby while saying, “I baptize you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit” while intending what the Church intends.

Remember, the sacraments aren’t magic. Secretly baptizing a child of non-Catholic parents doesn’t guarantee that the child will grow up to be a practicing Catholic. You must trust God’s Providence. After all, He is the one who ultimately saves, not you.

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What NOT to Say to Protestants Considering Conversion

As Catholics, we’re called to help bring our beloved Protestant brothers and sisters into the one true Church. But there are right and wrong ways to go about this.

Some otherwise well-meaning Catholics bring up topics that cause Protestants to think twice about joining the Church.

Here are some of them.

Their marriage
If your Protestant friend wedded a Catholic who failed to get a dispensation from Church authorities for the marriage, don’t point out that the marriage is invalid.

The implications of this statement are enough to make a Protestant decide not to join the Church. Sure, the topic needs to be addressed, but not at the start.

Timing is everything. People can only digest so much information at a time. That’s why the Church has a lengthy period of instruction before new members are baptized.

Guilt trips
You may be tempted to exclaim to a Protestant, “How could you have walked away from the Eucharist?! From our Blessed Mother?!”

The truth is, there are many reasons why people leave the Church. Sometimes it’s due to psychological issues no one helped them resolve or the example of bad Catholics. Such cases require a gentle approach, not shame.

Your frustrations with Pope Francis
The pope is not perfect, but a Protestant considering the Church doesn’t need to hear how much you dislike him. They are probably not in a position to properly understand the theological intricacies involved. Most likely, you’ll end up discouraging them from continuing their journey to Catholicism.

So, how should you talk to a Protestant considering Catholicism?

Base the conversation on questions they ask. Share how the Lord has transformed your life through the graces made available through the Catholic Church — especially through the Eucharist. Refer them to good sources if you’re unable to answer their questions. Avoid Church politics as much as possible.

Above all, don’t forget that conversion is ultimately the Holy Spirit’s job. We’ve mentioned that many times, but it’s easy to lose sight of this key truth. We plant the seeds. The Holy Spirit helps them grow. You should spend more time praying for Protestants.

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What Is Life in a Monastery REALLY Like?

In some ways, the vocations of marriage and religious life are similar. The newlywed couple and the newly professed religious start in a honeymoon phase, wearing rose-colored glasses. They begin what they believe will be their happily ever after.

Then reality sets in. At some point, the shine can wear off and they reach a crossroads: Abandon their vocation or go deeper into it.

Truth is, your vocation is not meant to be an escape from the struggles of life. It’s the battlefield where you prove your love against obstacles that sometimes seem insurmountable. A vocation is a call to war and you will undoubtedly receive spiritual gashes and bruises.

It’s especially easy for those of us who are not religious to overidealize that vocation. While it can be a life of great beauty and joy, it comes with its own struggles. Here are a few.

A monastery isn’t as quiet as you might think.
Some people prepare for religious life by spending hours in silence before the Blessed Sacrament, in a room where no one is making a sound (except for that one person who occasionally falls asleep and starts snoring).

Although monasteries have their quiet times, there is talking and activity going on. That’s why monks and nuns go on silent retreats sometimes!

Be prepared for an all-out war with the forces of evil.
A holy religious and a brother once went to a brothel to evangelize. They only found two demons there. They then returned to the monastery and found it surrounded by an army of demons.

The devil knows he has to take out the heart to kill the body and religious are the beating heart of the Church. They sustain us with their prayers and sacrifices.

The devil won’t let them accomplish this task without a fight. That’s why you should include religious in your daily prayers.

Much discipline is required.
You may like the idea of praying for hours a day. But if you were to start doing it regularly, you would realize just how tough it is.

Plus, the majority of each day is planned out for you. Letting go of your freedom takes some time.

None of this is meant to scare off those discerning religious life, just like the challenges of marriage shouldn’t dissuade those called to that great vocation.

Rather, let these facts inspire you to a more practical discernment so that you know what you’re getting into and — with God’s grace — are better prepared to enter your battlefield and win.

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Stop Hating Yourself

As Christians, we are called to be humble. We are not God, nor are we any better than our fellow human beings.

But there is such a thing as false humility. It poisons us with thoughts such as:

I’m worthless and incapable of great things.

If anyone knew the real me, they wouldn’t love me anymore.

I’m too sinful even for God to love me.

These thoughts are not truly humble, but actually prideful because you’re elevating your personal feelings above what God has revealed about you.

Humility is rooted in truth. What’s the truth about you? That your Father in Heaven takes delight in you!

Here are two reflections to keep in mind if you struggle with self-contempt.

God never makes mistakes.
God created you. As Pope Benedict XVI said, “We are not some casual and meaningless product of evolution. Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary.”

God is a perfect being; therefore, He is incapable of making mistakes. It follows that since He created you, it’s 100% impossible for you to be a mistake.

Christ commands you to love yourself.
In the Gospels, Jesus tells us that the two greatest commandments are to love the Lord with your entire self and, likewise, to love your neighbor as yourself.

How you love yourself determines how you love your neighbor. You can’t be there for others in the way God calls you to be if you’re self-loathing. If you hate yourself, that hate will find its way to others.

You are not cursed. You are blessed! There is nothing you can do to make God stop loving you.

Go to the Lord in silent prayer and place all your self-hatred before Him. Ask Him for the grace to see yourself as He does, as His beloved child who is called to spend eternity united with Him.

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What Tolkien and Lewis’ Friendship Can Teach Us

J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis were literary giants. They wrote some of the most influential fantasy literature of all time, and Lewis’ apologetic works still inspire people to convert to Christianity.

They were also close friends. As with all friendships, their relationship had its ups and downs. But we can learn plenty from them, especially in this age where we interact more through screens than in person.

Their friendship was based on a love of truth.
Tolkien was Catholic, Lewis was Protestant. They didn’t agree on everything. But they did agree that they were on this earth to pursue and embrace the truth, and that truth has a name: Jesus Christ.

They weren’t afraid to challenge each other to venture further into truth. In fact, Tolkien was partly responsible for Lewis’ conversion to Christianity because he successfully argued its value as the “True Myth.”

They gave each other constructive criticism.
Tolkien and Lewis belonged to an informal group of writers and artists called The Inklings. They met on a regular basis to share their creative works and offer feedback.

Tolkien was instrumental in helping Lewis publish his “space trilogy,” even though he didn’t like the last book, “That Hideous Strength.” He also had a low opinion of the Narnia books. Still, Lewis gave “Tollers” (as he liked to call Tolkien) the encouragement he needed to finish “The Lord of the Rings.”

Today, many people would rather pat their friends on the back and say “good job,” even if their work was atrocious. Tolkien and Lewis knew better. They weren’t afraid to criticize each other’s work.

They made time for each other.
Both men were busy in their professional lives as academics. Tolkien was also married with kids. Yet, they still carved out time for their Inkling meetings each week without sacrificing their other life commitments.

We can look to them as examples of how to use our time. Do we really not have the time for other people, or are we not making the effort?

Unfortunately, the friendship between Tolkien and Lewis cooled in the 1960s, although both men continued to hold the other in high regard. In a letter written to his daughter shortly after Lewis’ death in 1963, Tolkien says:

“So far I have felt the normal feelings of a man of my age – like an old tree that is losing all its leaves one by one: this [Lewis’ death] feels like an axe-blow near the roots. Very sad that we should have been so separated in the last years; but our time of close communion endured in memory for both of us.”

There is so much we can learn from the friendship of Tolkien and Lewis. Let’s examine our own lives and prayerfully discern if there are old friendships to resurrect, current ones to strengthen, and new ones to forge!

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Time to Admit It: We Are Not Evangelizing Enough

If you read the Book of Acts or any other account of the early Church, what do you find? Men and women filled with the Spirit who couldn’t resist the holy urge to speak of Jesus to everyone they met.

For them, Christianity wasn’t simply a “me-and-my-Jesus” sort of deal. They knew that the Good News of salvation through Christ must be shared with all. Many early Christians even chose to die a martyr’s death rather than keep the Gospel to themselves.

Today, parishes are lucky if a few people are baptized during the Easter Vigil, when the Church traditionally brings in new members. What a contrast to the sometimes hundreds of baptisms that would take place at once in earlier centuries!

This begs the question: Are we failing to evangelize those around us? Looking at the numbers coming into the Church, the answer is definitely yes, at least in the U.S., Canada, and Europe.

We need to step up our evangelization efforts. Here are a few things to keep in mind as we go out and proclaim the Good News to those around us.

 

Learn people’s pain points.
When beginning to evangelize someone, it’s too easy to vilify them and assume they’re not in the Church because they’re full of hate.

That’s not always the case. Some people stay out because of unresolved suffering and pain, and they simply don’t see the Church as the answer.

Start your discussion by listening to their pain points and tailor your message around those.

Focus on the fundamentals of the Gospel message.
Unless the other person brings it up, don’t get into theological intricacies that are likely to confuse them. Also, avoid Church politics as much as you can. Many non-Catholics are turned off by the constant bickering between Traditionalists and Novus Ordo attendees.

Focus on the basics, as the early Christians did. They made Jesus’ resurrection the core of their evangelization efforts.

Above all, pray!
Even if you’re an eloquent speaker who can refute every objection a non-Catholic brings up, it’s all futile if God’s grace isn’t at work. God is the one who converts hearts. We merely plant the seeds.

Pray for each person you evangelize and offer up sacrifices for them.

There’s no denying that the Church is in crisis. We need to reclaim that original zeal of the early Church. If we don’t, we’ll continue to see Mass attendance dwindle and churches close.

We can’t afford that, so let’s get to work!

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How to Practice Christian Meditation

In the hustle and bustle of our world, we need to reclaim the practice of Christian mediation more than ever.

Here are a few tips to get you started.

Sources to inspire your meditation
There are many. Scripture is one of the best, especially the Gospels and Psalms. Many saints have written about Christian meditation. St. Francis de Sales covers it in his “Introduction to the Devout Life.” This is one of the best sources because, unlike many other books of devotion up to that time, St. Francis wrote with laypeople in mind.

Steps for meditation
1. Recall yourself to the presence of God. St Francis de Sales emphasizes this point. Obviously, we’re always in God’s presence, but we often don’t think of it. You can do this anywhere, but some times and places are more suitable, such as Holy Hour.

2. Ask for the grace of prayer. Prayer is tough. You’re not guaranteed to pray well. Ask God to inspire you and make your prayer pleasing to Him.

3. Have the right intention. Your prayer should ultimately be for the glory of God and the salvation of souls. You can have other desires you want to offer up, but they are secondary.

4. Consider preparing for your meditation by spiritual reading. If you have time, take a moment to reflect after your meditation.

How to meditate
There are different methods. One is discursive prayer, where you work through certain points of meditation you prepared ahead of time (or that someone prepared for you).

You can meditate on the doctrines of the Church, especially as contained in the Creed. For example, “I believe in God, the Father almighty.” Use this as a basis to contemplate the fatherhood of God.

While working discursively through your meditation, form resolutions. For example, “Lord, help me to do better in approaching you as a child does their father.” This step helps you move from mere contemplation to action.

Always conclude your meditation with a prayer of thanksgiving to God.

Go ahead, give meditation a try! You’ll find that it brings you much peace, even as the world around you falls apart.

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