Peter Derk's Blog, page 3

All Titles Free Fri/Sat

Getcher free books this weekend. Everything I've got on Kindle goes free on Friday and Saturday. There's

Barehanded: a nice little poetry collection.

Origins: the proto-blog that started a media conglomerate!

The First of Me: a collection of short stories.

Ninja Sons: About the dumbest story ever committed to paper (or eink).

Tough Shoot: a very nice essay about my grandmother.

And don't forget, Helpful Snowman Reading Challenge 2015 involves reading one of my books. Get it now, save them dollars for hard drugs.

New Piece Available Now!

Check out my newest, a piece about underpants.

Well. They can't all be emotional journeys of sons who become ninjas.

click here

Want to Find Out What I Really Think of Tyra Banks' Modelland?

Once upon a time I tried to read Tyra Banks' Modelland. God did I try. It was so insane, so terrible, that I got caught. I put it down for a couple weeks, and when I picked it up it was as though someone had completely scrambled the pages. The writing was so bizarre, the storylines so quickly picked up and dropped that I couldn't honestly tell what I was supposed to know already and what was new information. I couldn't hang, and I quit.

So then I thought, How much would someone have to pay me to review that godforsaken book?

I settled on $100. Which you can contribute to. If you want a full-on, chapter-by-chapter review, this is the way to get it.

I have a fuller explanation on my web site (http://www.helpfulsnowman.com/?p=6697) and before anyone wants to talk smack, I just want to point out that LOTS of people do book reviews for money. What you'll be getting here will be worth more than $100 of my time and efforts, and you only have to put in a buck! It'll be worth a buck, I promise you that.

And shit, at least you know that in making money to write reviews, I have no bias. No reason to please a publisher, be kind or pull the punches.

Tyra? I'm coming.

I mean, in a strictly online, book review way.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/...

New Book Free For Love Day!

Howdy,

Ninja Sons is my newest Kindle offering. It's up right now, Friday the 13th, and starting tomorrow, Valentine's Day, it'll be in a promo period. All downloads 100% free. It should last through the weekend, but my advice, use one of those refractory periods tomorrow to download yourself some free lit-ra-tour.

http://www.amazon.com/Ninja-Sons-Pete...

Helpful Snowman Reading Challenge 2015!

Hey Ya'll,

I made up my own reading challenge for 2015. And then hand-drew a real shitty checklist.

You can get it here.

http://www.helpfulsnowman.com/?p=6634

Tough Shoot: Free this weekend!

This weekend, my Kindle essay Tough Shoot is free on Kindle. Starting Saturday, and running all the way through Tuesday (I like my weekends long as hell) you can get on, download this bad boy, and have it totally free.

I'll make a humble request: If you download it for free, give it a review on Amazon or Goodreads or wherever it is you talk about books. It can be a short review, and I'm not even asking for a number of stars. Please, just take a moment and put it out there, if you read it and think it was worth your time.

Thanks for reading. And I'll see you this weekend. You goddamn freeloaders.

http://www.amazon.com/Tough-Shoot-sho...

This Kindle Crap Is Complicated

Origins, one of the books I put up on Kindle, had some typographical errors. Which were very kindly pointed out to me by a regular, reliable editor.

That sounds snarky or something, but she really was nice about it. Overly nice, in fact. She was worried I would be offended. But really, she was cool about it, and it's my own damn fault.

I have to say, I DO kind of hate people who correct grammar and stuff on Twitter. Because that, to me, is the digital equivalent of correcting someone's spoken sentence, which is pompous and obnoxious.

But this is different. Because I have the audacity to charge a dollar for this bad boy, so there is every reason to be irked by typos and the like.

I made the corrections and updated the file on Kindle. And then played the waiting game. Which is not a game at all. Do not be fooled. It's just waiting. There's no game element to it whatsoever.

So I played the game/sat in boredom, and after several days, the file is not updated.

Now, before you send me to an FAQ, I've A'ed all the Q's, and I've read all the FAQ's. Yes, I waited the appropriate amount of time. Yes, I set my device to sync and update titles. Yes, I completely deleted the book, purchased it again, and downloaded it again, only to be confronted with the original version.

None of this would surprise me if the preview version on Amazon was the original text. But no. The preview is the updated version.

Here's a summary: The book has been updated and corrected. However, I have no goddamn idea how you actually get that version.

I'm hoping to do a free promo day once the file is updated. That way, anyone who bought it already can definitely download a brand spankin' new version. And a bunch of freeloader jerks can get it too, I guess. But, BUT, I don't want to do the free promo until the thing is updated.

I guess this is my special way of announcing the update and apologizing for my typos. Please celebrate in whatever fashion you find personally appropriate.

New Column

I don't know if you all know that I've been writing columns for Litreactor!

Here's the newest. Especially good for those of us who dread holiday shindigs.

http://litreactor.com/news/survive-th...

Free on Saturday

Howdy,

This Saturday, my short essay Tough Shoot is free on Kindle. Super-convenient way to read it. Get it Saturday, then you own it forever and you can read it in the car, in line at Target, or cowering in the bath tub with the lights off during a family dinner, the fifth family dinner in the last month.

http://www.amazon.com/Tough-Shoot-sho...

Get one for Mauve Saturday, which is what I assume follows Black Friday.

Nailed Magazine

Hey fans, friends, and well-wishers (people who wish that I had a well at home for fresh water, which would be oh so nice),

I have a story up on Nailed Magazine today. Nailed features some great writers, and I'm proud to be one of them.

Read up!

Right here!