Sasya Fox's Blog, page 2

Flotsam

Index

This is an automated entry. If you are reading this, I haven’t activated my deadman circuit in a long time.

I’m probably dead, or possibly captured.

Probably the same thing.

To Geren: I’m sorry I won’t be there to grow old and grey around the muzzle with you. I hope you’re still alive, or we died together. You taught me what love meant.

You blindsided me with it.

I always had a silly dream of us. If we won, I wanted to ask the interim government for a little section of land down on the Noquinac river. Have a little house with a little garden, a big porch, and a metal roof for the monsoons. Maybe we could have some children sequenced, one for each of us. Maybe three. I would cook, and paint, and we’d waste away our days teaching our kids how to be farmers.

Guess I’d have to learn first.

I never told you, because it felt silly. Didn’t know if we’d survive, either.

Be well, my love. Take care of whoever’s left.

Whoever’s left, take care of my yotie.

Mav, you know what to do with my data cache.

Zori, take care of Mav. I hope you two survive to the end of the war and have many happy years, and perhaps children of your own.

I guess I really don’t know what else to write here. I have a feeling that there’s a good chance we’ll all be dead soon, and it makes me feel better to write this.

 

I love the world. It really is beautiful, even the ugliest parts.

Somehow that makes me sad.

Flotsam

Index

I want to write something, but I’m not too sure what to say.

Phase one is underway. I have confirmation that my bombs went.

Cory was swept into the river. He’s dead.

Geren was most of the way there. He tried to hang himself in the guard’s house because he thought I was dead.

We barely got there in time.

His throat is swollen and bruised, and his front teeth are broken. He’s in surprisingly good spirits.

But we all may be dead soon. I hope this is worth it.

I had to tell Mav and Zori that we were using them. She is a bit upset, but Zori is more neutral.

Mav has always needed to be the strong one.

She really is the strong one, though. I hope she forgives me.

We met up with the other company and split transits into the TRZ.

There were hunter drones after us until mid-morning, but they’ve stopped coming.

We found an inert one and took its weapon system.

Meldor said the mercenaries took out the government network, and that killed the drones.

We still have a big watch out anyway.

I’m shocked we made it this far.

Guess I had more to say than I thought.

Flotsam

Index

Geren’s head is in my lap as I write this.

His muzzle is cut. Front teeth broken. His eyes are swollen and he rasps and wheezes when he breathes.

But he’s breathing. And his head is in my lap. And he’s smiling in his sleep.

My world is in turmoil. I don’t care about the rebellion, or politics or anything. I wish I could just escape with him, that I could take away the horror of these last few weeks.

But I can’t—this is really it. It’s the end of everything I’ve ever known.

We’re leaving this city in an hour or so. It’s a dangerous trip, but it’s far more dangerous here.

I can’t sleep. I feel like the door could bust open at any minute. I jump at every scrape or rustle outside this shed, I’m so on edge.

But my friends are resting. I haven’t told them much, but they trust me enough to follow.

Coriagh knows, of course, but he hasn’t said anything. He’s a professional.

I feel far weaker.

The city sleeps, but I fear its waking.

Flotsam

Index

Zori. I wish I knew how to thank you, Zori.

They found him!

I know I come off cool in person. I just can’t break through my mask.

But I love my friends so much. I almost cried.

They somehow found an associate of his from the factory and made him talk. I didn’t ask how.

I don’t care how. They tracked Geren to the quarters of a guard named Lapis.

We scouted it last night. He’s there.

The guard was one of the ones who beat Kruuk to death. I studied him for hours.

I saw how he treated my yotie. I wanted to go in right then and rip his throat out.

But I can’t. I can’t risk provoking a response right now.

My friends couldn’t understand, and I almost told them everything.

I’ll tell them tomorrow. I can’t risk opsec for anything.

Today we rescue my yotie though.

Sorry this is a bit scattered.

Back to planning…

Flotsam

Index

My heart aches, but we must go.

Sometimes I remind myself that I only knew him for two days.

Then the emotions hit.

But I must focus on other things.

I lost one of my best people to factory security yesterday. They beat him to death with batons.

Day after tomorrow we start a war.

My unit will dissolve and make its way individually to TRZ-A. The other units stay here to rally the locals.

The city won’t be safe, but I must leave him…wherever he is, if he’s still alive.

I failed him.

It hurts.

Flotsam

Index

No motion from the government, no repairs, no increase in security. Nothing but a switch to their auxiliary power plants.

I’ve done my part—all my people are ready.

There are extraplanetary mercenary ships in the system.

It’s going to happen.

I have no information on Geren. He’s vanished.

My friends are still looking hard. I can’t believe how much they support me.

I’ll have to tell them about the other stuff soon.

It won’t be much longer.

Flotsam

Index

I have never felt much emotion beyond fear. In this city, death is our constant companion, and emotion is waste.

In the past few days I have felt more swings of emotion than I have for my entire life.

It has been raining hard, like always this time of year, and the river is very high.

Yesterday, the government dam breached. Completely. Everything was destroyed in the flood.

Thousands died in the Partrace.

Thousands of innocent, poorer folk by the river. Families. Families of friends and operatives.

There are bodies in the streets, and the city is seething.

This is it. This is the moment. And the wheels are in motion.

I’ve been busy.

But I can’t think of anything but my yotie.

We haven’t been able to find anything. Can’t tell if people here are scared or didn’t see.

I’m sick with worry.

Flotsam

Index

I’m hurt, and more angry than I can recall.

We were attacked last night after coming home. I barely remember it.

My yotie was taken by someone, and if he’s been hurt or killed I will stop at nothing.

This isn’t a matter of the resistance, or pride, or anything else.

I have my friends working on leads.

Someone will die for this.

Flotsam

Index

He’s gone.

Flotsam

Index