C.A. Sanders's Blog, page 12

Someday We’ll Be Mindflayers

I’ve been thinking about the recent “revelations” that Facebook, Google, and every site monitors your information. It’s not a surprise, I mean, we gave it to them. I’m not complaining, I’m just musing.

Facebook monitors everything that gets sent on Facebook Messenger. I feel bad for whoever’s job it is to sift through the millions of dick pics.

Google: You know things about me that I don’t even know. You might be my soul mate.

And someday we’ll be Mindflayers.

To the confused, let me explain....

Inside Looking Out

Ever since I was a wee lad, I have felt out of place. I never had more than a handful of friends and still don’t. And I’ve come to terms with not fitting in. I know that I’m weird. I say awkward things and trip over my tongue. I embarrass myself and anyone I’m with. My voice is funny. I have nervous tics. I understand why people don’t want to be around me.

But I feel like I’m staring out the window, watching the world and wanting to be a part of it. There’s so much going on, but always out of...

I’m trying to figure out why I haven’t been blogging here...

I’m trying to figure out why I haven’t been blogging here. Is there some backlog of stuff in my brain that’s making things hard to focus. Or do I have some issue that if I start writing about, all of my insides will come pouring out through my fingers (probably from under the nails) and onto the screen.

I don’t know. I want to write, but something is stopping me. At least I’m getting a lot of editing done. Dilly dilly.

Are we still saying dilly dilly, or is that over?

I don’t want it to be ov...

Parkland Victim Blaming

There’s a counter-argument right now that instead of walking out to protest gun violence, the victims should have been “nicer to the shooters.”

Repeat: They should have been nice to keep them from murdering them. This is some Grade A enabling bullshit.

The victim is not the perpetrator. In a domestic violence case, do you blame the victim? Do you say he/she deserved it?

I’m all for being kind, but being kind to keep someone from murdering you is a sad commentary on our times. Worse, that peop...

Boots and Pants…

boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and…

I can’t get this out of my head. It’s the baseline from hell and it’s eating away at my brain like a very hungry caterpillar.

So here’s 30 minutes of it… suffer!!!

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The Hanger…The Hanger…

The hanger is real. I am so hangry right now that I don’t know whether to yell at the wall or eat it. Yes, I will eat the wall. I will eat that fucking wall until I get at all of that sweet insolation inside, like the inside of a tootsie roll pop.

I’m so hangry…so very hangry…

I’ve been trying very hard to drop these last 20 pounds, completing my Frodo-like journey from 390 to 220 over the past 5 years. I’ve been stuck at 240 for almost a year. I was down to 230 until last November when I vis...

Civilization is the underwear that protects us from human...

Civilization is the underwear that protects us from humanity’s collective asshole. Without it, we get covered in our own shit.

What? Not everything I say has to be profound. Hell, most of my online communication is through doggo memes.

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“America First,” Slogans, and Subtext

You may have noticed that the president is using the slogan “America First” just as much as “Make America Great Again.” You probably haven’t thought twice about this. I mean, what American doesn’t want to put America first? We have to take care of our own before others, right?

If words were just words, that’d be fine. but we all know (especially if you’re a writer or reader) that there’s more to words than face value. It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it (like sarcasm), and what im...

Drunk Wisdom of the Day

“A smooth sea scarcely sculpts a skillful sailor”

–Me (after a couple of beers)

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5 years

Today marks the 5th year anniversary of my fiance Valerie’s death. I don’t have the spoons to really talk about it. Maybe tomorrow.

I always have nightmares about it, but for the past week, I’ve been having daymares too. I’ve been living and seeing both worlds, the present and past. On Monday I caught myself saying to a friend: “I find her today. Tomorrow she will be pronounced brain dead. Wednesday she will die.”

The past is in the present tense. So am I.