Eric E. Wright's Blog, page 41

Comforting those in Affliction – #7 in a series on suffering

Reading recently about the persecution many Christians suffer, I was struck by how lonely they must be. How do they endure being isolated in dark cells, tortured or locked in shipping containers? Fortunately, in many cases persecuted Christians testify to having an unusual sense of God’s presence.

Ultimately, the Holy Spirit is the great comforter—and He can comfort us either directly or indirectly through the Scriptures. We should not, however, discount the role we are to play as agents of the Spirit. When we reel in unbelief from a terrible diagnosis or when we are discouraged, sick, disappointed, feeling like failures, or doubt our own worth the Holy Spirit most often uses other Christians to encourage us.

During the frightening period when Assyria threatened to destroy Israel, God urged Isaiah, “Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem“(Is. 40:1,2).

God urges New Testament believers to comfort and encourage one another. Suffering, whether physical or emotional, saps our energy and reduces our resistance to discouragement and temptation. No wonder Paul sent Tychicus to Colossae that “he may encourage your hearts“(Col. 4:8). And to the Thessalonians he wrote, “Therefore encourage each other with these words [words about the certain return of Christ]“(1 Thess. 4:18). The author of Hebrews in warning believers about the danger of slipping away from the faith urged them to, “Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness”(Heb. 3:13). “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds….let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching“(Heb. 10:24,25).

I have been so often blessed by words of encouragement that I keep an Encouragement File. I haven’t always seen the importance of encouraging others, brought up as I was by a father who had himself been taught to “keep a stiff upper lip,” and “good work is its own reward.” I appreciate the good qualities of my dad, but looking back I can see how my mother often suffered without receiving much comfort.

We shouldn’t be reticent about encouraging others for a job well done, a good article we read, or a Sunday School class well taught. Nor should we be negligent in comforting those who need comfort.

How we comfort others, however, is important. We shouldn’t tell someone that we understand their trial if we haven’t faced similar afflictions. In 2 Corinthians we are taught that one of the purposes of our own suffering is to learn how to comfort others. “The Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God“(2 Cor. 1:3,4). No one can comfort one suffering cancer, like one who has gone through it. No one can comfort a lonely divorceé like one who has suffered a messy divorce. No one can comfort a bereaved father like someone who has lost a child. Have we learned from our own experiences about the kind of comfort we appreciated?

Another thing we should not do is quote Romans 8:28 to remind a person that all things work together for good. Nor should be inform them piously that God must be teaching them something, or they must be very special to have such a severe trial. In the midst of pain and anguish, people don’t need to be reminded what they may know to be true when their mind is clearer but can’t feel at the moment. In the midst of pain they may feel abandonment, puzzlement, grief. Such words fall like icicles on tender hearts, hearts that need warm words of love.

In Greek the Holy Spirit is called the paraclete, meaning the one who comes alongside. How instructive to learn from the divine Comforter, that sometimes the best way to help the afflicted is just to quietly come alongside to listen. While we may not be able to say, we understand, we can offer a hug, bring a meal, or pray for the person. We may want to send a card. We can ask if there is anything practical we can do? Cut the grass. Pick up groceries. Clean house. They need to know we care.

The pain words can inflict – #6 in a series on suffering.

As we continue our series on the causes of suffering, consider the terrible effect hurtful words have on our emotional health. Too often we inflict pain on each other in the daily ebb and flo our lives together in families, communities, and at work.

A slightly overweight and suicidal girl walks home from school after another day of verbal bullying. A husband drops into a bar to postpone the open warfare that breaks out every time he comes home. A high school student cringes when his father asks him why he didn’t get straight ‘A’s’ on his report card. A woman shrivels under the stream of criticism flowing from her husband. An orphan, finding no love or comfort, cries himself to sleep in the third home he’s been shunted to in a year.

The childhood taunt is not true; Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me. Words: stupid, loser, fatty, you did it again, why do you always…, why can’t you be like…, it’s your own fault…, and the like, sting like an asp. Verbal poison comes in an almost infinite variety but all such toxins create emotional pain. The pain manifests itself in many ways: sadness, discouragement, despair, hopelessness, depression, frustration, anger, bitterness, resentment, or jealousy.

In terrible physical pain and anguish, Job cried out for comfort and understanding. But instead of comfort, his three friends urged him to admit his sins and repent. They held a mistaken belief that suffering and misfortune is caused by the sin of the sufferer. How ignorant they were of the reality that accidents, illness, and misfortune are the common lot of all mankind. Some of the greatest saints endured inordinate suffering: Jeremiah, David, Paul, not to mention Jesus, Himself.

Because of their faulty theology, instead of offering understanding and sympathy, Job’s three friends added immeasurably to his pain through their words. After listening to their soliloquies, Job cried, “miserable comforters are you all” (Job 16:2). At the end of the story God spoke, “to Eliphaz the Temanite, ‘I am angry with you and your friends, because you have not spoken to me what is right, as my servant Job has…My servant Job will pray for you”(Job 42:7,8).

David had a similar experience. In both Psalm 41 and Psalm 88 he laments the whispers and betrayal of his friends.

What do sad and worried people need? “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up”(Prov. 12:25). “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver”(Prov. 25:11). Imagine the effect on a depressed or insecure person of a word of commendation or encouragement.

Words can uplift and edify. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen”(Eph. 4:29). Christian love calls us to use our tongues in constructive ways.

There may be times when words of correction, even condemnation are needed. But they are rare. Most often people need understanding and affirmation much more than they need criticism. Let’s leave judgment to God while we offer consolation, encouragement, and hope. In the next blog I’ll look more fully at the ministry of encouragement.

Handling Interruptions

Sometimes I wonder if I’m too bound by to-do-lists. Every morning I make a list of tasks in my diary and take great pleasure at the end of the day in being able to cross them off. Some days my lists are unreasonably long. A good day is a day with little left undone. Ah, the sense of satisfaction! The feeling of accomplishment!

I’m not talking about Mary Helen’s honey-do-list: cleaning the garage, vacuuming the car, painting the cellar stairs, or getting rid of two decades of useless files. No, no, I’m talking about substantial tasks like finishing a chapter in a new novel, figuring out how to use Twitter to network, or add a page to my web site. Okay, I admit, I need to pay attention to her list too.

But whatever lists we make, invariably interruptions interfere. A snowstorm hits the area and travel plans are shelved. Or a toothache sends me to the dentist. The car needs servicing. In fact, a debilitating cold with all the miserable symptoms has laid me low for days and seriously delayed this blog.

We’ve all noticed that life is messy. It is irregular. It is unpredictable and disorderly. It keeps slopping over the boundaries of our carefully prepared plans. As Robbie Burns was wont to say: The best laid plans o mice and men gang aft aglee. In retirement, we at least have the luxury of adjusting our plans without our paycheck being docked. Salaried workers have a greater challenge than those of us in the grey generation.

How do we handle unpredictability? Since life is so full of it, maturity must include the ability to deal with interruptions without undue frustration. The apostle Paul wrote; “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances”(Phil. 4:11). His equanimity is quite incredible, given that Paul was beaten, shipwrecked, hungry, imprisoned, stoned, misunderstood and lied about.

My interruptions are minor compared to his. But the fact that Paul learned how to cope with terrible circumstances does give me hope. We can learn to accept interruptions if we tap into the resources Paul enjoyed. He knew the universe was not in the hands of blind fate. He had an unshakeable confidence that all things work together for good, because the Lord God is seated on the throne of the universe, and that God’s grace is sufficient for every trial.

Obviously, I have a long, long way to go if I would develop the kind of flexibility, freedom from irritability and trust in God’s plan that Paul modeled.

Why Talk About The Weather?

“Can you believe it? Last Monday it was fifty degrees; today it’s minus fifteen.” Or, “Did you get much snow?” Or, “It was raining cats and dogs at our place!”

Weather is one of the first things people talk about after asking how we are. Why? Well, it’s one of the few things we all share in common. If it rains, it usually rains all over town. If the thermometer goes down to minus twenty, we all feel the chill. Weather affects all of us—even in our climate-controlled homes. Comments about the weather enable us to meet others on common ground. They show we share a common humanity.

And since we all share weather, stories about torrents of rain in Vancouver, tornadoes in the Mid-west, or minus 40 degrees in Whitehorse arouse empathy. After all it could have been us whose roof blew off. We feel compassion for those who suffer the ill effects of extreme weather.

Why talk about weather? It’s a safe topic. A discussion of religion or politics might raise our blood pressure. But who’s going to disagree when we comment on the seesaw nature of our winter weather. Of course, if we get into global warming, the discussion may heat up. If we start with weather in our conversations, we can ease into more serious matters later.

Why weather? We can usually complain about it without being thought of as a negative person. Of course, there are always those perennially cheerful people who would have found a silver lining in the forty days rain in Noah’s time. No, really, don’t we all need a little harmless outlet for our frustrations? The weather just is. It doesn’t have a voice. It can’t fight back or complain to our therapist. Now, if we start moaning about bunions, aching backs, creaking knees, acid reflux or any of the myriad ailments most of us struggle with, we’ll be branded with a scarlet ‘H’. He or she is a hypochondriac. Horrors! Save me from wearing the scarlet letter.

Charles Warner, not Mark Twain, said, “Everybody talks about the weather but no one does anything about it.” Well, isn’t that good? Weather is substantially beyond the reach of human manipulation.

Now that is controversial. We are told that global warming has been caused by human irresponsibility which in turn has unleashed extreme weather. I agree that we ought to stop deforestation and commit our industries to ecological responsibility. But on a micro-level, where we live, there is very little we can do but plant trees and buy more environmentally friendly cars.

A little grumbling about the weather probably doesn’t hurt us as long as we maintain an overview like that of John Ruskin. “Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces up, snow is exhilarating; there is no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of weather.” And above all, let’s remember, God sends the rain. (See Matthew 5:45.)

How Attitudes Moderate or Intensify Suffering – #5 in a series

Much as we would prefer it, no one can pass through this life without encountering trials of one kind or another. Job loss. Accidents. Disease. Rejection. “Man is born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward”(Job 5:7). However, the attitudes with which we face troubles will profoundly affect our ability to cope victoriously; either intensifying or moderating our anguish.

Alice and Elsie and Marci, not their real names, routinely intensify their own pain. Alice wallows in unhappiness while blaming her employer and the government for the misfortunes in her life. A cheerful greeting to Elsie triggers a recitation of grievances that reflect her bitterness and anger. Marci not only looks sad and troubled, she is.

The attitudes of these three intensify their emotional distress. Consequently, they will endure greater pain than that of others who tackle life with an uplifting outlook. Their corrosive emotions may even affect their physical health. For our own wellbeing, as well as to glorify God, we need to get rid of dark and hurtful emotions such as: sadness, worry, doubt, discouragement, fear, envy, hopelessness, bitterness, wrath, discontent, wounded pride, hatred, and the like.

The New Testament uniformly teaches that faith in Jesus Christ and obedience to his teaching delivers us from bondage to these emotions. (I’m not denying that in some cases there are physical causes for depression.)

This does not mean we should cover up our anguish. The Psalms of lament show us the pattern of David. “My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord…all night long I flood my bed with weeping”(Ps 6:3,6). “How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?”(Ps. 13:1). But notice that David brought his pain to God and underlying that pain was faith. “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation” (Ps. 13:5).

A huge part of the Christian process of sanctification involves replacing dark attitudes with those that are uplifting. This process doesn’t happen overnight. But the apostle Paul explained that through the Holy Spirit dwelling within us, the transformation is certain. “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control;” the very emotions that moderate suffering.

According to Jesus, happy are they who have the right attitudes. (See Matthew 5:3-12.) He taught his disciples, “Do not worry” (Matt. 6:31); “Do not let your heart be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me”(John 14:1).

There isn’t room in this article to touch on the power of prayer, the transforming effect of thankfulness, and the uplifting outcome of worship and praise. And surely, I don’t need to mention that we engage in these activities not for therapeutic reasons, but because we have touched the hem of the Infinite, we have been transformed by the saving grace of Jesus Christ. The positive effect—joy—is incidental to the reality of salvation, but very real.

I have no doubt whatever that the Christian faith has contributed infinitely more than we can imagine to human health, social wellbeing, and international harmony. How do I know this? I know it from the teaching of the Bible, observation of others, my own experience, and the testimony of myriad Christians, some of whom suffer indescribable persecution.

Do you have doubts that Christian attitudes moderate suffering? “Taste and see that the Lord is good!” Or as Jesus said, “If anyone chooses to do God’s will, he will find out whether my teaching comes from God or whether I speak on my own” (John 7:17).

In a later blog, I’ll write about the role of encouragers in helping those who face trials.

Disguising Problems

Overnight an inch or two of snow fell, covering everything with a glistening white blanket. Yesterday, the landscape was brown and drab. Every discarded beer can along the roadway was visible, today all is hidden.

Snow hides ugliness whether it be a rusting tractor, garbage along a country road, an abandoned factory, or the toxic tailings from an old mine. Then the temperature rises. Ugliness rises again to blight the landscape.

As humans we are adept at disguising reality. We decorate the surface of our persons with facelifts, hair transplants, and designer clothing. Companies fund research facilities to find new ways to improve our appearance. We borrow to buy upscale cars and upscale homes so we can pretend to be one of the hoi paloi.

Ingrained in our societies is the drive to camouflage reality. We disguise our frightening debt beneath a mumbo-jumbo of terminology. We blame others for our own choices— our parents and our government. We order research studies and Royal Commissions. We appoint committees to come up with solutions. But the root problems remain: selfishness, addiction, irresponsibility, dishonesty, evil within the heart of mankind. What we need is what happened during the Reformation and the Evangelical Revivals.

Jeremiah knew that you can’t paper over a national problem with platitudes, by crying, ” peace, peace, when there is no peace.” (See Jer. 6:14) Ezekieh realized that humans cannot be mended until God does radical surgery. “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh” (Ez. 36:26).

As Jesus explained to Nicodemus, “You must be born again”(John 3:7). Only the redeeming influence of the Holy Spirit who applies the blood of Christ to the inner fountains of our motivation can make us new. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come” (2 Cor.5:17)! It is these new men and women as they gradually become kind, thoughtful, loving, forgiving, patient and creative citizens who contribute to renewed societies.

I’m not saying that Christian conversion solves all problems. But expecting honest politicians and athletes and business people to just morph from the raw material of humanity is wishful thinking. The main problems of societies are moral and motivational. Convincing people about the transforming power of the gospel is the best way to contribute to good communities.

Foolish Choices & Suffering -#4

I agonize over decisions, especially big decisions like whether to move to another house or what kind of car to buy. That’s not to say that I take long to decide what kind of toothpaste or shampoo to buy or whether to plant petunias or pansies in the garden.

But too often I allow price to determine my choices rather than quality. Six months ago I bought a pair of attractive loafers because they were half price. They were a bit tight, but… Now I struggle to get my feet into them. And when I wear them very long, they pinch. I could give other illustrations but they would be too embarrassing.

Even when I determine to balance quality against price, it’s not always easy to make a good choice in our media saturated world. One report lists butter as harmful to our arteries. Another labels margarine as a dangerous culprit. Or take coffee, or chocolate. How do we navigate through all the shoals that we’re told can shipwreck our lifeboat?

Doubtless, bad choices can lead to great harm. And some of those bad choices are clear. Smoking. Overeating. Taking addictive drugs. Avoiding exercise. A steady diet of high calorie fast-foods. Too much sugar. Pornography. Sleeping with prostitutes. Drunkenness. The list is long; the effects devastating in terms of ill health, lost jobs and broken relationships.

Many of our bad choices lead to long-term suffering, or at least, suffering that catches up with us as we age. Why do we choose things we know will be harmful? Often it’s to find immediate pleasure through gratifying a sudden craving. Dare I say it, lust? Donuts and cookies and mega-burgers taste so good! Indulge. Enjoy right now. Personally, I don’t think there is anything wrong with an occasional indulgence but the danger occurs when indulgence becomes a habit.

The danger is magnified when the indulgence breaks one of God’s commandments. Outbursts of anger can not only shatter relationships, but, as Jesus said, even lead to murder. One pilfered item from a warehouse or act of cheating can feed into a lifestyle of dishonesty that ultimately ends in incarceration. Envy or jealousy indulged can foster lifelong discontent. One act of fornication or adultery might promote a careless approach to marital fidelity or lead to catching a sexually transmitted disease.

So why is there suffering in the world? Much of it is caused by human foolishness, indulgence, sinfulness and ignorance. We would be wise to re-read the book of Proverbs often. “He who speaks rashly will come to ruin. The sluggard craves and gets nothing…Dishonest money dwindles away…”(Prov. 13b, 4a, 11a)

Fortunately, God is a forgiving God. There is no sin, no matter how grave, that He will not forgive if one but bows in repentance and faith to Jesus Christ, God’s Son. “His blood can make the foulest clean.” Forgiveness, however, does not necessarily deliver us from the practical consequences of our sins. The forgiven smoker will still have damaged lungs. The forgiven murderer will still have to finish out his jail sentence. The indulgent eater who is forgiven may still have clogged arteries.

Let’s not blame God for suffering we cause. Instead let’s make wise and godly choices.

Does Difference Cause us to Dispute or Celebrate?

While peeling potatoes the other day I was struck by their diversity of shape. Some of their knobs made them hard to peel but on the other hand made the task a little more interesting. I don’t mind getting a bag of potatoes of all sizes and shapes.

Geneticists try to breed absolute uniformity into all kinds of products from eggs to beef to corn and tomatoes. So far they haven’t been able to engineer a square tomato so it can be packaged and shipped easier and so the slices will fit bread more accurately. I’m glad they have been unsuccessful. I love variety, don’t you?

Diverse trees with their distinctive leaves. Varieties of flowers. Different breeds of dogs. Diverse kinds of rocks and topography. Varied shells. What a boring world it would be if everywhere we looked we encountered sameness.

But what about differences in people? Besides the obvious differences of sex, race, language, stature, etc. we have diversity of personality. Some are sanguine: easy-going, cheerful types while others are melancholic: brooding and perfectionist. Then we have those who like solitude and those who enjoy the company of others. We have people who are timid or brazen, anxious or self-confident, huggers and non-huggers, talkers and listeners, vegetarians and meat-eaters.

The problem arises when different personalities join together on a committee or in a marriage or on a management team. The more intimate the relationship, the more of a challenge getting along creates. Sadly, many disputes occur not over essential values and beliefs, but over personal opinions and preferences. Colours, clothes, and foods; how to share responsibilities, how much planning is needed, what management styles to use, where to spend Christmas, whether to collect or cull, and on and on it goes.

In Romans 14 and 15 Paul urges his hearers to accept one another, love one another, and stop judging one another concerning disputable matters. Instead, “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification” (Rom. 14:19). (See also Rom 14:1-8).

Varieties of Shells

[In Philippians Paul urges us to have the same attitude as Christ. "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others" (Phil. 2:3,4).

So instead of letting the differences of others frustrate us, let’s ask God—their Creator—to help us learn to value their opinions and personalities. Let’s listen to others. Let’s appreciate the distinctives of other races and cultures. Let’s celebrate human diversity.

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The cruelty of oppressors, a third cause of suffering

Oppressors cause much of our world’s suffering. Our televisions daily project stories of suffering inflicted by the oppression of powerful and cruel men. Two years of warfare in Syria has claimed 60,000 lives due largely to the intransigence of President Assad. Meanwhile, the Taliban in the border regions of Pakistan continue to spread fear by targeting innocent villagers on both sides of the border along with coalition soldiers and Pakistani troops. As long as genuine participatory democracy fails to take root in Syria, Afghanistan and Pakistan, the future looks bleak—unless God should step in.

“You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted;…defending the fatherless and the oppressed, in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more” (Psalm 10:17,18).

But let’s think closer to home. In 2008 powerful institutions in the US manipulated the mortgage market and precipitated the worst recession since the thirties. The suffering of hard-working Americans who lost their homes was incalculable. Indeed, the whole world felt the fallout. Or consider North American tobacco companies who promote their cancer sticks wherever laws are lax. Then there are criminal gangs who promote drugs, prostitution, and gambling.

“He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker” (Prov. 14:31).

Powerful multi-nationals run rough-shod over the rights of aboriginals in many parts of the world. Greedy industrialists pay workers a pittance to labor in terrible conditions producing consumer goods. Landlords keep tenant farmers in perpetual debt in Pakistan.

James warns the oppressive rich. “Weep and wail…your gold and silver are corroded…Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you…have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty” (James 5:1,3,4).

Religious groups are not immune. When religious men gain unbridled power, they often abuse. Consider the crusades, the Inquisition, oppression in reformation Geneva, abuses in Puritan New England and in first nations’ residential schools. Islamists today use suicide bombers and threat of terror to intimidate whole populations. Muslim villagers in Nigeria murder 500 Christians. Villagers in Pakistan try to coerce a young Christian boy to recite the Muslim creed.

Oppressors have bloodied history with their atrocities. Think Sennacherib of Assyria (2 Kings 18:13ff), Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon (2 Kings 25:8,9), Genghis Khan, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Mao Tse Tung, Pol Pot, Idi Amin—the list is endless.

Power corrupts, whether it is in the hands of an abusive husband, a king, or an industrialist. In the west we are very fortunate to have democratic governments, subject to an independent judiciary and a system of checks and balances. The development of democracy can be traced to the Protestant Reformation with its acknowledgement of God as the Judge of all the earth, not some priest or pope. It revived a sense of individual freedom under God and responsibility to God. In France where the Reformation was weak, their revolution resulting in a period of terror. In England where the Reformation was strong, a constitutional government of checks and balances developed.

Instead of blaming God for suffering, let’s lay much of the blame at the feet of oppressors. And let’s determine to personally fight for justice and abhor all forms of intimidation and coercion. “Redeem me from the oppression of men” (Psalm 119:134).

Only in coming to know Jesus Christ as our personal Saviour can we find the spiritual resources necessary to prosper in an unjust world. And the hope of His return creates within the expectation of a future reign of righteousness.