Alan C. Fox's Blog, page 23
June 30, 2015
Empathy Becomes Real
I’m a guy, and not terribly concerned about my appearance. My hair is short and takes a few seconds to comb or brush into place. I almost always wear a collared shirt with two pockets, one for my iPhone and the other for my pen and reading glasses. My slacks are dark, my socks are black, my shoes are black. I trim my beard every week or two, and I wear no makeup.
Simple. Constant. Quick.
By contrast, many people I know, men and women, pay much more attention to their appearance than I do to...
June 23, 2015
“No” Before “Yes”
“No” is a verbal wall. It separates you from other people, and is generally thought of as negative. But at times this wall is a necessity.
“Will you help me move next Saturday?”
“No.”
“Would you let me get ahead of you in line? I’m in a hurry.”
“No.”
“Will you loan me five dollars?”
“No.”
There are days when you may not feel the need for any walls. But on other days you may feel like Greta Garbo and “vant to be alone.” You have that right. In fact, you have many rights.
You have the right to...
June 16, 2015
The Equal Relationship Is an Enduring Relationship
I believe that every good relationship must be perceived as approximately equal by both parties most of the time. To put it another way, you have to give as good as you get, and you have to get as good as you give, to achieve sustained mutual satisfaction.
I say “perceived” because beauty, as well as everything else in this world, exists only in the eye or mind of the beholder. Period. I enjoy listening to the piano music of Chopin. You might prefer Lady Gaga. Or silence. That is why an outs...
June 9, 2015
The Reward of Taking a Chance
On March 1, 1968, my law partner, Jim, and I formed a company to invest in real estate. I went out and agreed to buy houses and apartment buildings, promising down payments of $5,000 or $25,000 in thirty to sixty days. There was just one small problem. Neither Jim nor I had any money. Somehow we always came up with the down payment, but those were scary times.
After two or three years of watching me repeatedly put our financial lives at the precipice, Jim cornered me in my office one afternoo...
June 2, 2015
The Family Conference
When I was seven or eight my father started holding “the family conference.” The primary purpose was to talk about and resolve family grievances which inevitably arise. For example, my little brother David often ate the last of the peanut butter and didn’t leave any for my lunch.
At each family conference, if possible, we would take action to solve whatever problems were discussed. We met in the living room. I can still see my father sitting in the big stuffed chair in the corner, smoking hi...
May 26, 2015
Snip
Many years ago I read a book by Harry Brown entitled How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World. The essence of his advice was that when a relationship is over you should let it go and create room in your life for the next relationship that, for him, was always better.
I don’t believe that the next relationship, or next anything, is always better than the last, though it certainly has that possibility. I do believe that, just as in a tropical rainforest, unless a tall tree falls its tiny successo...
May 19, 2015
Dear Rodgers and Hammerstein
I’m writing to thank you for The King and I, which I attended a few hours ago at the Lincoln Center in New York City. The performance was outstanding, with terrific acting, great directing, and a wonderful orchestra. Of course, all of this was in performance of your beautiful words and music.
I first saw The King and I sixty-odd years ago when I was a teenager. My father treated my mom, my little brother, and me to balcony seats. I was transfixed, just as I was tonight, not only by your song...
May 15, 2015
LIVE Interview on KCBS News
The post LIVE Interview on KCBS News appeared first on PEOPLE TOOLS.
LIVE on WGN Radio, Chicago
The post LIVE on WGN Radio, Chicago appeared first on PEOPLE TOOLS.
