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7 Reasons I’m Thankful for My Pastor Dad

I’ve written before–and firmly believe–that pastors’ kids want a parent more than a pastor. I spent my entire upbringing as a PK to John Piper, and I’m now raising three PKs, so this axiom sits very much at the forefront of my mind. Aspects of ministry can easily contend with pastoral family life and even drive a wedge between a pastor and his kids. But rather than harp on the potential pitfalls of pastoring and belabor warnings, I want to encourage pastors in their relationship with their kids by reflecting on seven things I’m thankful my pastor dad exemplified. I can’t say I was thankful for all these things during my younger years, both because of my immaturity and because I didn’t understand all it takes to parent and pastor. But God has been kind to bring me to a place of deep gratitude for my father—both as a dad and pastor.

1. He was faithful to Scripture.

My father is pathologically incapable of preaching a sermon that is not drawn from the Bible and points back to the Bible. He would tell you he isn’t clever enough to come up with something truer than God’s words, and there isn’t anything better on which to base our lives. When he’s asked complex questions about areas of life in which he is not an expert (finances, politics, etc.), he doesn’t pretend to be an expert. He goes back to the wisdom God gives in his Word.

And he’s always been the same at home. When I needed correcting as a teen, dad would direct me with Scripture, applying both the warnings and the promises. As I seek counsel now as an adult, he draws on the Bible. When we’re parting ways after a visit, he covers the time in biblical promises and prayer. There was a time I rolled my eyes at this and even resented it. I wanted the “wisdom of man,” but Dad knew that the “foolishness of God” was infinitely better (1 Corinthians 1:25

2. He extended help and hospitality.

My dad is an introvert’s introvert. If he had his marriage, his books, and his breakfast cereal, he might be content until he meets Jesus. But he makes time for people. The home I grew up in, and where my parents still live, is on a busy urban street corner, so people knocking on the door to ask for help or to spin a yarn about a crisis they were in was common. Dad would listen to them, even when it was clear they were trying to hustle him, and offer tangible help in whatever way seemed wisest. After Sunday services he would linger to talk and pray until the line of people was gone. We had guests in our home for dinner often. As I think about this now, it seems both normal and extraordinary. Dad didn’t let his personality preferences dictate what was good, fruitful, and loving. He sacrificed energy and time for people.

3. He studied diligently.

I never heard my dad give a half-baked sermon. I’m sure he was rarely satisfied with his sermons, but he didn’t cheat the text or the congregation. If time for sermon preparation one week was short due to other obligations, he sacrificed sleep (and surely increased prayer). There are pastors with brilliant, lightning-fast minds who can absorb and coalesce information lickety split. By his own admission, my dad is more the tortoise than the hare when it comes to reading and studying. He couldn’t cut corners or procrastinate, but rather developed habits of diligence. He accumulated understanding and knowledge bit by bit over years. As one who is disposed to procrastinate and rely on what little store of natural gifts I have, his example has been both motivating and corrective for me in ministry.

4. He made time to play.

Few people who know my dad would call him “light-hearted” or “comedic.”He is intense—a serious-minded man and minister. His mind tilts toward pondering (and maybe being ponderous) rather than wit and humor. None of that, however, stopped him from making time to play with me and my siblings when we were kids. Most days of the week, after dinner, we would have designated playtime—sports, wrestling, playing with toys, board games, etc. When we were on family vacations, which were rarely lavish affairs, he would take us fishing, exploring, or on some other adventure. And now he does the same thing with his grandkids.

5. He read, read, and read some more.

We didn’t have a TV when I was growing up. This wasn’t out of some fear-of-the-devil’s-influence conservatism by my parents but largely because, if we had a TV, we would watch it. And in their estimation, there were better ways to spend time. One of the primary “better ways” was with books. Our house was loaded with them. When my dad had downtime, you could invariably find him with a book and a pencil. When I claimed boredom, my parents would basically point to the back door or to a bookshelf. This was great for my mind and curiosity, but it also taught me that leaders are readers and that to be a wise, informed minister of the gospel, one needs to read deeply and widely.

6. He developed healthy habits.

Dessert was always a hit in our house, and my dad relished it as much or more than anyone. He is hardly a health nut and is very good at appreciating delicious things. But for as long as I can remember he has been a man of moderation (except as it pertains to diet Dr. Pepper) and a man of physical discipline. Dad runs multiple times per week, even now. He isn’t trying to win races or earn a sticker for the bumper of his car. He is being healthy, recognizing that a person is body, mind, and soul.

In the 80s and 90s, when I was growing up, there wasn’t much talk about mental health or healthy rhythms, but my dad knew that to sustain his whole self for a lifetime of ministry (and for a healthy marriage), he needed rest. So each week he took a firm day off in which he did nothing for the ministry, instead focusing on time with my mom and resting. And each summer we would take several weeks away as a family. I know now what I didn’t then: healthy habits and rhythms of rest are hard for pastors. But he did them with metronome-like consistency and our church and family benefitted.

7. His default was to pray.

Just a few weeks ago my parents visited us in Tennessee from Minnesota. While they were here, I asked my dad about leading a growing church and wisely handling big transitions. He had helpful practical advice about budgets, communication, and member care, but one thing he said stood out above the rest: when you’re not sure, pray. He was describing how the elders should lead, but I realized that’s how he navigated all of life and led our family. This practice guided our family at every step, and it guides his life now. It was a gift to be raised by parents who treated prayer as real, effective, and powerful even if I was not always enamored with it. As I now pastor a growing church and a growing family, I am even more grateful for their example and for their ongoing prayers on our behalf.

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Published on October 23, 2024 05:05

Kindle Deals for October 22

Some Kindle deals worth your mind and money today:

Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands: People in Need of Change Helping People in Need of Change by Paul Tripp – $4.99

Age of Opportunity, Revised and Expanded: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens by Paul Tripp – $4.99

War of Words: Getting to the Heart of Your Communication Struggles by Paul Tripp – $4.99

Forever: Why You Can’t Live Without It by Paul Tripp – $1.99

A Clear and Present Word: The Clarity of Scripture by Mark D. Thompson – $2.99

Agents of Grace: How to Bridge Divides and Love as Jesus Loved by Daniel Darling – $1.99

Yawning at Tigers: You Can’t Tame God, So Stop Trying by Drew Dyck – $1.99

The Dangerous Book for Boys by Conn & Hal Iggulden – $2.99

MY BOOKS:

Belong: Loving Your Church by Reflecting Christ to One Another – $8.99

The Pastor’s Kid: What it’s Like and How to Help – $8.99

Help My Unbelief: Why doubt is not the enemy of faith – $8.99

The Curious Christian: How Discovering Wonder Enriches Every Part of Life – $4.99

Hoping for Happiness: Turning Life’s most elusive Feeling into Lasting Reality – $8.99

These links are Amazon affiliate links.

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Published on October 22, 2024 05:26

Kindle Deals for October 21

Some Kindle deals worth your mind and money today:

The C. S. Lewis Collection: Signature Classics and Other Major Works by C.S. Lewis – $3.99 (Includes Mere Christianity, The Screwtape Letters, The Great Divorce, The Problem of Pain, Miracles, A Grief Observed, The Abolition of Man, The Four Loves, Reflections on the Psalms, Surprised by Joy, Letters to Malcolm)

How Should We Then Live?: The Rise and Decline of Western Thought and Culture by Francis Schaeffer – $6.99

Making a Difference: Impacting Culture and Society as a Christian by R.C. Sproul – $3.99

Making All Things New: An Invitation to the Spiritual Life by Henri Nouwen – $1.99

How to Read Literature Like a Professor Revised: A Lively and Entertaining Guide to Reading Between the Lines by Thomas Foster – $1.99

A Lowcountry Heart: Reflections on a Writing Life by Pat Conroy – $4.99

My Losing Season: A Memoir by Pat Conroy – $4.99

Once There Was a War by John Steinbeck – $4.99

The Renaissance: A Short History by Paul Johnson – $4.99

The Afghan Campaign: A novel by Steven Pressfield – $6.99

MY BOOKS:

Belong: Loving Your Church by Reflecting Christ to One Another – $8.99

The Pastor’s Kid: What it’s Like and How to Help – $8.99

Help My Unbelief: Why doubt is not the enemy of faith – $8.99

The Curious Christian: How Discovering Wonder Enriches Every Part of Life – $4.99

Hoping for Happiness: Turning Life’s most elusive Feeling into Lasting Reality – $8.99

These links are Amazon affiliate links.

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Published on October 21, 2024 04:51

What Sort of Man is This?

Matthew 8 tells one of my favorite stories about Jesus. He and his disciples get in a boat to sail across the Sea of Galilee. Jesus is tuckered out from preaching and healing and ministering, so he falls asleep. While he’s sleeping a storm sweeps in, threatening to drown them all. The disciples wake Jesus in a panic and ask him to save them. With a word he calms the storm. And then we get to my favorite verse, 8:27: “And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?”

This is exactly the right question to ask about Jesus. In fact, this is the question we should be moved to ask over and over again.

What sort of man is this who fulfills the law and the prophets? (Matthew 5:17)

What sort of man is this who befriends sinners? (Matthew 11:19)

What sort of man is this who prays for his followers? (John 17)

What sort of man is this who lays down his life for his sheep? (John 10:11)

Every encounter we have with Jesus in the Bible should stir our hearts to ask what sort of man is this. And every answer we find will only lead us deeper into wonder and awe at him.

I originally wrote this post for my church, Immanuel Nashville , in our Daily Pulse email. If you want encouragement from God’s word delivered Monday thru Friday to your inbox, I encourage you to subscribe.

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Published on October 21, 2024 02:54

3 Things I Like This Week – October 18

Each week (give or take one or two here and there) I share three things I like – It could be a book, a movie, a podcast, an album, a photo, an article, a restaurant, a food item, a beverage, or anything else I simply enjoy and think you might too. You can find a whole pile of things, especially books, I like and recommend HERE.

1. Breeo Fire Pit

[image error]Living in the South and being a fairly warm blooded (read: sweaty) person, I need the temperature to drop below 75 degrees in order to enjoy a bonfire. Well, ’tis the season! We’ve finally arrived, and it is the best season. And this year is even better because my wife got me one of these Breeo fire pits for my birthday last spring and I can finally put it to work. Like the Solo Stove, the Breeo is a smokeless fire pit (due to airflow and temperature and whatnot). Unlike the Solo Stove, it is heavy duty iron and more of a permanent installation. The design makes it so much more pleasant to sit around the fire with folks without having to squint or dodge smoke with every puff of wind. You can get all sorts of gizmos and accessories to cook/grill over the fire too if you are into that influencer sort of thing.

2. Hoodies

We’ll keep this list fall themed, or at least cool weather themed. Unlike the young folk who will willingly broil themselves in hoodies throughout the summer months, I wait with eager impatience for crisp temperatures when I can break out the single most comfortable item clothing known to man. No, they are not particularly classy or dressy. Yes, they look dumb worn under denim jackets (sorry mega church pastors). But they are delightful in warmth, softness, and roominess all while being verstile enough to be lounge wear or appropriate public attire. While I prefer simpler, more minimal designs on my hoodies, some people love a bold design that makes a statement. Therein lies another of the hoodie’s many attributes. While the crew neck sweatshirt has made a rollicking comeback in recent years, that is attributable almost entirely to its nostalgic appeal rather than its inherent quality. The hoodie, in contrast, is timeless and stands on its own merits.

3. The Pleasant Surprise of Coolness

At moments like this I wash I was Dutch, for they seem to have a linguistic knack for creating words that capture a very particular feeling or experience. The experience that needs capturing in a single multi-syllabic, unpronouncable Dutch word is “the relief one feels when stepping outside with the expectation of smothering humidity and heavy heat only to inhale cool crisp air instead.” It is like having a meeting cancelled. It is like a bank error in your favor, collect $200. It is like being asked to babysit, only to find that the child will be in bed when you get there. That has been the experience in Tennessee this week, and it has been delightful.