Kat Hurley's Blog, page 2

gratitude is the new sexy week 8 challenge: keep your word.

I took a lot of pride in my position as Captain People Pleaser all those years. I thought of it as an art. I'd come running when I got the call to save a friend from the slightest bit of loneliness that my company might provide; I could rescue her rather effortlessly with exactly what she wanted to hear; and I was always willing to whisk her away to precisely where she wanted to go because, me? I'd be fine with anything, really.

For many years, I swept all the tidbits I didn't enjoy about the job under the carpet, keeping everything so tidy that I didn't even notice how much of myself was getting buried with the bits. It was the honor I was going for, I suppose, being so generous with my time, my energy, my money. This is what kind and caring people do, right?  

It wasn't until years later when I found out that I had gotten it all wrong. Yes, kind and caring people do show up for all those noteworthy things, but they also set boundaries and speak up and, God forbid, say no every once in a while. And here I thought I had written the book on Kind & Caring. 

Instead, what I had done was let little pieces of me slip away each time I denied myself the time and energy I now know I deserve. I got lost in a world that was all about everyone else, where I could safely avoid all the things I wanted to do and be when, say, I grew up.

As it turns out, it was my best friend Fear saying yes to all those functions and spreading myself super model thin that when it was time to tune into me all I had energy for was to tune-out. I was "all talk" then about my plans for the future. I would say one thing and do another, hiding behind excuses like, "If only I had the time." There was nothing congruent about me. I was a walking contradiction, lacking purpose, lacking passion, lacking pursuit.

It wasn't until I woke up in a new city, with no friends to please and few family distractions, did I realize that I had lost all of who I thought I was. Suddenly, I had a lot of explaining to do, no more cute and convenient excuses to coddle my mild contentment.

It was about damn time that I started being completely, and brutally, honest with myself. No more scapegoats. No more bullshit.

But then what?

I learned through a heaping stack of self help books and good ol' fashioned trial and error that the more I lived in alignment, the closer I'd get to my deepest desires. Actions DO speak louder than words, and that is never more true than following your word, every word, to the best of your absolute ability.

This is a constant practice, but I thought a great challenge for the week. In my Conscious Healing workshops we talk a lot about language and how it affects us, often negatively, if we lack the awareness around it. The same goes for keeping your word or speaking your truth. This week, try to avoid saying things just to say them. If you say you are going to do something, even to yourself, follow through, or at least begin to.

When you practice living in alignment with your actions and words, you begin to take your hopes and desires more seriously. You get yourself out of the clouds and can therefore get more comfortable being good and grounded, where the real change can occur.

"I should really quit smoking."

"One of these days I'll start exercising." 

"I've been meaning to update my resume so I can start looking for new job."

The first step, as always, is awareness. Take note of what you're really saying. Notice the constant themes. Nobody likes a broken record, your friends, your family, and believe it or not YOU. 

Let this week be the start of, or getting better at, keeping your word, speaking your truths and living in alignment. Your conscious will thank you for it! 

Chime in with questions, comments, and stories because, in case you didn't know, sharing is caring;)

Thanks for tuning in.

Good Luck!