Sally Ember's Blog, page 62

September 6, 2015

Share! Read! Act! #Refugees #Crises: Thanks, David Amerland, for aiding

SHARE! READ! ACT! If you’re not on Google+, you’re missing out on many things. David Amerland’s “SUNDAY READS” are some of them https://plus.google.com/u/0/collection/MVBSX : Read them all!

Here is today’s. URGENTLY need you to read this and ACT!

My comments:

“My favorite of all your ‘SUNDAY READS,’ David Amerland, because you provide calls to action of many types and degrees, from opening up our minds and hearts to our homes to our wallets to our ‘mouths’! THANK YOU!

“We are not helpless, but we need reminding and we need direction.

“SHARE! READ! ACT! #refugees #crises”

and

“The irony and karmic balancing that brings German leaders to help Semitic peoples…perfect.”

David Amerland originally shared to SUNDAY READ:

“‘We are alone, there is no one, help us!'”

“The contextual basis of our existence never becomes more evident than when we face what we sometimes disparagingly call ‘first world problems.’ Over the last few weeks I have been buried in business reports the urgent and pressured changes being made to the draft chapters of a book going to print and the inevitable everyday pressure of emails, articles, requests for interviews, comments and quotes.

“My life, to all intents and purposes, has been circumscribed by the immediate needs being pressed upon me, the narrow context of something that I have to do in a very limited space of time. Meanwhile, at the back of my mind, every time I dip across the web I sense the change in the world around me.

“As the sum total of largely man-made disasters accumulates around the globe, for the first time in our century, we face a mass movement of people, an Exodus (http://goo.gl/fWIurF) that’s the largest since WWII: http://goo.gl/leWg1X

“As hundreds of thousands of refugees flooded cash-strapped and ill-prepared Greece which is struggling to cope: http://goo.gl/rdlHbq The Economist ran a piece on why this is happening: http://goo.gl/kWZYjM. Europe, one of the world’s richest areas, is paralyzed by the refugee crisis: http://goo.gl/V2AO7e unable to formulate a coherent policy, its leaders largely incapable of understanding the right thing to do instead of the politically expedient thing to say, are left floundering (again) – adrift in a situation that is evolving too fast for them to formulate a politically palatable soundbite.

“This has left the nation-state behaving like any system under siege, led by people who feel overwhelmed would: defensively. Hungary put up fences, ironically spending over 100 Million Euros (http://goo.gl/hlTg7Q) and using inmates to help keep costs down – its effectiveness already under question and its morality under attack: http://goo.gl/D5GUbc. Germany (http://goo.gl/D68U6r) and the UK (http://goo.gl/TF1c6w) have seen a far-right resurgence as the issue of immigration gets muddled with the refugee crisis and colored with anti-Islamist rhetoric (http://goo.gl/OFE0PZ).

“While politicians flip-flop on the issue and parliaments debate without anything being resolved the unfolding crisis gets deeper, its images, unrelentingly grimmer: 71 people die, suffocating in the back of a refrigeration truck in Austria: http://goo.gl/bs4oe9. A father, desperately trying to get his family to safety, left in charge of a sinking boat is left to pick up their lifeless bodies: http://goo.gl/XN3Ysl the picture of this seemingly insignificant tragedy in a massive tide of human pain, suddenly personifying exactly what’s happening: http://goo.gl/P8D5uc.

“Death, usually only takes on meaning when it can be given a human face: http://goo.gl/KqaPKf. Its story made to reflect the big picture (http://goo.gl/DYxw8E) behind it that made it possible to happen in the first place: http://goo.gl/XN3Ysl.

“You’d be forgiven for thinking that there is little hope. That the world is a dark, vile place (http://goo.gl/gVeb2v). That those we entrust to lead us betray us (http://goo.gl/qWaAbL). That we, might as we try, cannot change anything, that really – context and content, our ‘first world problems’ – our issues with efficiency, marketing, selling and buying. The lawns that need to be cut and the BBQs that need to be lit and the things that make our life ‘real’ are, should be perhaps, not just what we should worry about but what we must worry about. Our security blanket. The sedative we reach for to distract us from what we cannot change, what we cannot affect. What we feel powerless against.

“This not what’s happening here. The same ‘first world problems’ that make our attention sometimes focus on the seemingly inconsequential, also become the driver for creating social media tools and the motive force for forging new ways of operating.

“Against the frequently stated, kneejerk, absurd and intellectually impoverished charge of ‘social media distracts us from real life’ and ‘social media stops us from having a life’ stands the starkness of the impact of a crisis that’s being felt even through the many layers of the pressures that surround us daily.

“Social media, connectivity, technology – for all their imperfections, also make it impossible to switch off, impossible to ignore and impossible to deny. No more ‘I didn’t know’ (http://goo.gl/6N0sXL) defense lines. We now know and feel and understand and agonize and think.

“And unlike our elected leaders, refreshingly, we act. A US man ‘grabbed’ a ship and set off to do something about it: http://goo.gl/dcGtE6. Icelanders (whose government caps immigration to 50 a year) opened up their homes, actively offering to help take in refugees: http://goo.gl/EkkbPi. Buckling under pressure from home Germany and Austria opened their doors: http://goo.gl/bO90rn internet shaming having at least one positive effect.

“It doesn’t stop there.

“The Refugees Welcome website uses people power and crowdsourcing (the same idea that brought us Airbnb) to change the way we respond to the refugee crisis: http://goo.gl/11E1ty. Petitions (http://goo.gl/MDY4Bt) are having the desired effect as EU refugee policy is changing: http://goo.gl/0qNqpE. If you’re in the UK you can sign the online petition to increase support for refugees and asylum seekers: https://goo.gl/1fDi1k you can add further pressure by signing The Independent’s petition form: http://goo.gl/qcOJ45.

“This is not an EU problem (http://goo.gl/fsqRe8). It is a people problem. It is a global problem, which people, seeing people in trouble can help solve. In New Zealand you can add your voice to those who want change to the refugee quota: https://goo.gl/wCmxjy. On Facebook the ‘Open Homes, Open Hearts’ initiative helps US citizens add their voice to the tide: https://goo.gl/bZsLqJ and a petition on the White House website could really do with your signature: https://goo.gl/tZy3tT.

“This could have been a really dark, hopeless ‘Sunday Read.’ The issues raised here are deep, potentially divisive. They are the kind that our elected officials feel powerless to deal with quickly. Yet, the very same tools that allow me to somewhat flippantly talk about the need to have plenty of coffee at hand and a mountain of sugary treats, allow us to connect, share, and actually do something ourselves, first. Even something as small as sharing a petition in our social media channels to help raise its visibility and awareness.

“We may be small. But we are not powerless. We may feel alone, but we really are not. We may think that nothing changes, but here’s proof that things are. The world is connecting across lines that officials do not foresee and cannot control. We self organize (https://goo.gl/vgukwN), create forces of our own, drive change in ways that only our ‘first world concerns’ can prepare us for.

“We understand two things that government and institutions do not always grasp: As people we can act to do the right thing, first: http://goo.gl/tMuQ8R. As people we can make a difference because we are no longer alone and isolated.

“The title of this ‘Sunday Read‘ was taken from the heart-wrenching message of a Syrian woman to the Italian coastguard: http://goo.gl/leWg1X. Our message today to the world, to each other, here, to those who we feel need help, in any context is that the world is really changing. You are no longer alone. None of us is.

“Coffee, chocolate ice-cream, donuts, croissants, cookies and chocolate cake. I know it seems facile, yet it’s a ritual that helps keep us together. Make us stronger. More effective, until even more join us. Have an awesome Sunday, wherever you are.”

NOTE: I do not usually share an entire post like this, but so many of you are not on Google+, I knew you wouldn’t/couldn’t go there. And, this post and these issues are so important, with so many points of contact, so much information, and significant and easy-to-follow calls to action, that I had to include the entire post.

Filed under: Blogging and others' content, Life lessons, Opinions, Politics, Social Media, Support for Good Causes Tagged: Calls to Action, David Amerland, Europe, Facebook, Germany, Google +, Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Open Hearts, Open Homes, Refugees, Sunday Read, Syria, UK, USA

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Published on September 06, 2015 02:19

September 5, 2015

Special Labor Day Release! LEGENDS OF WINDEMERE #FANTASY SERIES BUNDLE #1

From previous guest blogger here and guest on CHANGES conversations between authors, Episode 9, Charles E. Yallowitz, Reblogged on WordPress.com

Source: Special Labor Day Release! LEGENDS OF WINDEMERE #FANTASY SERIES BUNDLE #1

OPENINGS for CHANGES in late September and beyond! Welcome new/seasoned authors of any age, genre, publication method!

Watch conversations with my previous CHANGES guests any time: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPbfKicwk4dFdeVSAY1tfhtjaEY_clmfq

Learn more about and get yourself on or recommend someone to be scheduled as a guest for CHANGES: http://sallyember.com/changes-videocasts-by-sally-ember-ed-d/

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Published on September 05, 2015 05:42

September 4, 2015

Featured today on Buddhist Door, Part I of my stories of being a “Reluctant Buddhist.”

Featured today on Buddhist Door, Part I of my stories of being a “Reluctant Buddhist.”

http://www.buddhistdoor.net/features/a-reluctant-buddhist-how-it-took-me-eight-years-to-start-practicing-in-this-life

Thanks, Frances McDonald and Buddhist Door, for this opportunity.

Look for Part II to go LIVE on 11/13/15, my dear Lama Drimed’s birthday!

May all beings benefit.

Filed under: Buddhism, Meditation, Personal stories, Tibetan Vajrayana Nyingma Tagged: Buddhism, Buddhist, Buddhist Door, Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche, meditation, personal stories, Sally Ember, Tibetan, Tibetan Buddhism, Tibetan Buddhist

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Published on September 04, 2015 02:32

September 1, 2015

“Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit” and other Superstitions

“Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit”: we’re supposed to say this before we say anything else on the first day of each month, or else…? What?

image from http://www.azgamingguide.com

Where do your superstitious rituals, habits, beliefs come from? Your family? Your religion? Your heritage/culture? Your locality? Other “traditions”?

Sports players, gamblers, racers, stock market sellers and buyers and many others are notorious for their rituals that supposedly bring good luck or avoid bad luck. Watch a baseball game some time and notice all the tics, obsessive/compulsive, repetitive behaviors and rituals the players engage in, particularly the batters and pitchers.

What are the differences among “superstitions,” “faith-based rituals,” “religious beliefs,” and “traditions”?

Do you cross yourself or genuflect in some other way that is not part of a prayer ritual when entering a cemetery?

What about lifting your feet when you cross over railroad tracks?

Ever hold your breath while crossing a bridge or going through a tunnel?

Why do you “cross your fingers” for good luck or behind your back when you’re telling a lie?

image from http://www.servantleadershipinstitute.com

Do you feel guilty, disloyal, unfaithful, heretical, afraid or nervous when you decry, pooh-pooh and/or refuse to adhere to superstitious or other rituals even when you are certain there is no basis in scientific or other fact to support continuing to believe or do those things?

Even when you know it’s silly—i.e., unfounded in anything rational—do you perform the ritual or continue to have the belief, anyway? Or, do you follow the ritual in front of believers, out of respect or not to “rock the boat,” but in private or among unbelievers, you do not follow it, and you might even disparage it and/or those who do follow it?

Do you believe that if you break or crack a mirror, you acquire 7 years of “bad luck,” unless you do or say… what…?

image from http://www.giftypedia.com

List some rituals, beliefs, and other behaviors associated with superstition with me (here are some of mine) and their purported effects or purposes:

Saying “Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit” on the first day of every month, as the first utterances (otherwise, it is “too late”):

— to bring good luck to the speaker for the month.
When walking with someone and separated by a lamppost or other upright object or another person temporarily, saying “Bread and butter” as you part:

— to avoid bad luck; to keep you “together” in the future.
When speaking, if I and another person(s) say the same exact words at the same exact time, one of three things must occur: 1) The first person to notice it says: “Jinx! You owe me a soda!” and the other(s) must “pay up” soon; 2) Both (or all three) people link pinkies and say “Jinx!” or 3) The first person to notice says “Jinx!” and the other person(s) may not speak again until someone says their first name aloud.

— I have no idea why any of these occurs. Does anyone?
When anyone spills salt, throw some over my left shoulder.

— to avoid bad luck.

image from http://www.bristolfarms.com

When anyone says something nice about a person in my hearing, especially a baby, I must say “Kinahorah,” which is Yiddish, transliterated, and means:

— “there should be no evil eye.”
When anyone says their age aloud in front of another (honestly or lying), especially in response to someone’s question, someone else or the questioner must say “Kinahorah.”

— see above.
Put a new penny into any coin purse, purse or wallet before giving it as a gift.

— Ensures the new owner will always “have enough.”
When someone, including myself, is traveling, especially in an airplane, I must imagine three “magic circles” or one “magic circle” three times surrounding the traveler and imagine that those circles extend to all who travel (best done on take-off, for an airplane I’m in).

— to ensure safety while traveling.
When anyone spills a beverage or food, including drinking water, onto the table or floor or self, the spiller or someone else must say: “May we always have more than enough.”

— to avoid not having enough that some could overflow without harm to the drinker/eater in the future.
When you or someone else loses an eyelash, put it on a finger and have the owner blow it away while making a wish.

— to guarantee the wish will come true.

image from http://www.babble.com

When sewing a button, tear or hem while still wearing the garment, sewer must put a piece of thread in one’s mouth while sewing.

— to avoid “sewing one’s brains together.”
Don’t walk underneath a stepladder that is open or a straight ladder propped up against the wall.

— to avoid bad luck.

image from http://paperchipmunk.com

Don’t be first OR always strive to be first…in a line/queue, to step off the curb to cross the street, to speak in a group, to go through a revolving door, to get into a cab or hansom-type vehicle, to arrive at a public event/in an audience, to arrive at a party.

— to ensure good luck or avoid bad luck.
When blowing out birthday candles, must make a wish before they’re all blown out and must blow them all out in one breath.

— to guarantee the wish will come true.
When you see the first star on any night, say: “Star light, star bright, please grant my wish tonight,” then, make a wish silently.

— to guarantee the wish will come true.

What other superstitions do you/have you subscribed to/been taught/ been around in your life? COMMENT HERE! Share! http://www.sallyember.com/blog

Filed under: Personal stories Tagged: belief, evil eye, jinx, luck, ritual, Superstitions, tradition

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Published on September 01, 2015 01:00

August 31, 2015

Watch: Will Smith Fights the NFL as Dr. Bennet Omalu in the Trailer for ‘Concussion’

Sally Ember, Ed.D.:

As someone who has suffered only one concussion, which has been more than moderately traumatic, I can barely imagine what these football players have and continue to experience(d).

Thanks to Will Smith and the filmmakers of “Concussion,” coming out this Dec., 2015, for bringing concussion syndrome to more people’s attention.

Originally posted on Flavorwire:

It didn’t take a doctor to tell us that football players who suffer repeated concussions are doing major damage to their brains… well actually, it did. His name is Bennet Omalu, and he discovered chronic traumatic encephalopathy (or CTE) after conducting the autopsy of former NFL player Mike Webster.

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Published on August 31, 2015 07:38

August 29, 2015

Behind the Face of Nicholas Rossis

Sally Ember, Ed.D.:

Wonderful, in-depth interview with one of my guests and guest bloggers from *CHANGES* conversations between authors, Episode 7’s Nicholas C. Rossis! Excellent info, here.

Watch conversations with my previous *CHANGES* guests any time: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPbfKicwk4dFdeVSAY1tfhtjaEY_clmfq

Learn more about and get yourself on or recommend someone to be scheduled as a guest for *CHANGES*: http://sallyember.com/changes-videocasts-by-sally-ember-ed-d/

OPENINGS for *CHANGES* in late September and beyond! Welcome new/seasoned authors of any age, genre, publication method!

Best to you all,

Sally

Originally posted on INVOLUTION: Science and God: Reality Redefined:

I asked Nicholas whether he would agree to be interviewed in rather a ‘personal’ and targeted way. I am less interested in the writer than in the life that lies behind writing. As it happened the philosophy he revealed ( and his final summary) made it appropriately hosted on Careless Talk- the blog of things related to Involution-An Odyssey and its universal implications. So here it is.

Interview with Nicholas Rossis.

Nicholas Rossis

Nicholas, because I do not interview writers on any kind of regular basis, I hope you don’t mind me framing questions that arise from impressions you give me and my fascination with what underpins the individual writer, their past, their passions, their acute dislikes. Feel free to answer ‘Pass’ at any point. You have a charming on-line persona, and make many faithful friends. I would like to introduce the individual alone with yourself.

A Greek who has…

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Published on August 29, 2015 05:59

August 28, 2015

My Movie Review of “‘Ricki and the Flash’ – Meryl Streep is Terrific” on Blogcritics.org

My movie review of “‘Ricki and the Flash’ – Meryl Streep is Terrific,” on Blogcritics.org,

went live 8/27/15!

Summary : Excellent rock’n’roll cover band fronted by Meryl Streep and Rick Springfield in a touching family drama. 4 Stars!

SCROLL DOWN on this site (link below) to leave a comment!

http://blogcritics.org/movie-review-ricki-and-the-flash-meryl-streep-is-terrific/

Filed under: Blogging and others' content, Film Reviews Tagged: band, Blogcritics, film, Film Review, Kevin Kline, Meryl Streep, movie, movie review, music, musicians, Rick Springfield, Ricki and the Flash film, Sally Ember

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Published on August 28, 2015 01:00

August 27, 2015

5 Stars***** for This Changes Everything, Vol I, The Spanners Series: “a fantastic science fiction read”!

5 Stars***** for This Changes Everything, Vol I, The Spanners Series: “a fantastic science fiction read”!

Cover art and logo by Aidana Willowraven for The Spanners Series http://willowraven.weebly.com/

Debra L. Mauldin “willowtree” reviewed This Changes Everything, Vol I, The Spanners Series

Book Review August 24, 2015

EXCERPTS:

“Her characters are well-rounded and strong.”

“The reader has to think with an open mind and will find that everything flows, reverses, and fast forwards in an easy and understandable story.”

“Trust me, this book is not boring and is easy to follow if you don’t try to make it too hard.”

“I highly recommend this book to all science fiction and utopias/dystopias readers.”

read full review here:

https://mauldinfamily1.wordpress.com/2015/08/24/this-changes-everything-the-spanner-series-book-1-book-review/

or on Amazon, where you can download Volume I, This Changes Everything, PERMAFREE:

http://www.amazon.com/This-Changes-Everything-Spanners-Series-ebook/dp/B00HFELTG8/ref=cm_rdp_product

Vol II, This Changes My Family and My Life Forever, is $3.99

Vol III, This Is/Is Not the Way I Want Things to Change, goes into half-price pre-orders 11/1/15 – 12/7/15 for $1.99, then $3.99 on 12/8/15, RELEASE DAY!

For all links, other reviews, author interviews, updates and excerpts: http://www.sallyember.com Look right; scroll down

Filed under: Reviews, This Changes Everything, Volume I of The Spanners Tagged: Amazon, Book Review, free, Sally Ember Ed.D Author, science fiction, The Spanners Series, This Changes Everything, utopia

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Published on August 27, 2015 01:04

August 25, 2015

The Top 10 Reasons Trick or Treating is Better than Sex

Sally Ember, Ed.D.:

Thanks for posting: made me laugh out loud!

Originally posted on Nutsrok:

Top 10 Reasons Trick or Treating is Better Than Sex:

10) You are guaranteed to get a little something in the sack.

9) If you get tired, you can wait ten minutes and go at it again.

8) The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7) You don’t have to compliment the person who gives you some.

6) It’s ok when the person you’re with fantasizes that you’re someone else, because you are.

5) Forty years from now you’ll still enjoy candy.

4)If you don’t like what you get, you can always go next door.

3) It doesn’t matter if the kids hear you moaning & groaning.

2) A lot less “morning after” guilt.

YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD!

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Published on August 25, 2015 17:29

August 22, 2015

Although she won’t listen, I’m giving my 16-year-old self advice: Guest Post on Krysten Lindsay Hager’s blog

Although she won’t listen, I’m giving my 16-year-old self advice: Guest Post originally on Krysten Lindsay Hager’s blog

I turn 61 today, so in a great age inversion, I’m again sending advice to my 16-year-old self: this was originally posted on May 7, 2015, on http://www.krystenlindsay.com/blog/although-she-wont-listen-im-giving-my-16-year-old-self-advice-by-sally-ember-edd. Thanks, Krysten!

Maybe she’ll listen THIS time…?

Dear 16-year-old Sally,

Sally at 16

From the impossibly ripe old age of 61, I send you/me advice, based on knowing how things turn out for us and recognizing choice points we could decide differently about, if we are so inclined.

If so, given the simultaneous nature of time and quantum physics’ declaration that anything that CAN happen DOES happen, we will make millions of different choices, rendering some of this advice moot. Even so, here we go.

1) Friends

The “cool” kids aren’t better friends. In fact, they’re usually so intent on keeping their “cool” status (which is always precarious) that they can be deceitful, mean-spirited, unfaithful, disloyal and unreliable in every way. Cultivate and BE the type of friend who cares more about being a good friend than anyone’s perceived (and quite temporary) status. Keeping good friends is a lot more important than attaining “cool” status.

Status in high school will be long-forgotten and completely irrelevant as soon as you graduate. Decades after high school is over, you’ll still be friends with the people worth befriending. You won’t even remember the names of those you were so keen to impress at 16 or why you (or anyone) thought they were so “cool.”

Do you still like graphs and diagrams? Here are four quadrants explaining the four types of friendships people can have and where one’s distribution of friends are likely to fall.

—Quadrant 1 (Q1) is in the TOP RIGHT = IDEAL, which are friendships that are Healthy and Enjoyable, both. If you’re lucky, most of your friendships belong here.

—Quadrant 2 (Q2) is in the BOTTOM RIGHT = PROBLEMATIC, which are friendships that are Healthy but Not Enjoyable You can change what you think is “enjoyable,” but you can’t create “healthy” so easily. Change your point of view.

—Quadrant 3 (Q3) is in the TOP LEFT = PROBLEMATIC, which are friendships that are Enjoyable but Not Healthy What makes these “enjoyable”? Really? Cut it out. Get out.

—Quadrant 4 (Q4) is in the BOTTOM LEFT = “COME ON,” which are friendships that are Neither Health NOR Enjoyable if your’re smart, NONE of your friendships belongs here.

image from http://waitbutwhy.com

2) Relationships with Boys (and Girls)

You will mostly be infatuated and not in love. Feelings of attraction, interest, lust, even love are not the same as being “in love,” but they SEEM to be and can fool you. These other feelings can be very strong and important, but they aren’t meant to help you choose a life partner, just a date or a relationship for a few months. Plan accordingly.

Never blow off a good friend (male or female) to go on a date or spend more time with your date or sex partner. Sex partners/dates will change frequently; friends can last a lifetime, if you’re careful and sincere. Be a good friend and you’ll HAVE good friends.

Great litmus test for whether or not your feelings are deep and/or significant for a date/sex partner: imagine that one of you is in a serious car accident and left with injuries that cause that person to become a quadriplegic. Would either of you be loyal and devoted enough to the other to take care of the paralyzed partner for the rest of your lives? You might never have sex again with that person (or, if you’re monogamous, with anyone else, either). You might never be touched again by/touch that person (paralyzed: remember?). You might never sleep in the same bed, never dance together upright, never take walks next to each other holding hands.

NOW: are you still convinced that you’re “in love”? That’s okay. Have a good time, but don’t make life-long promises.

image from http://www.dreamstime.com

3) Sex, Birth Control, Sexuality, STDs, Sexual Identity

You don’t need to be in love to have sex. You don’t need to be having sex to purchase/acquire birth control and STDs protection (condoms, pills, IUDs, etc.), and, in fact, DON’T WAIT! If you are even considering having intercourse or fluids-exchanging sex with ANYONE, go to Planned Parenthood or a free clinic or your doctor and find out what your best choices are. BE PREPARED.

It is not romantic, fun, easy or worthwhile to become pregnant at 16 or contract an STD, ever. Get educated. Find out what is contagious, how easy it is to get pregnant even before or without having actual heterosexual intercourse, how quickly and easily fluids can be exchanged that carry diseases between sex partners and be SMART and PREVENTIVE.

If you can’t talk about these things with your potential sex partner, if you can’t take off your clothes and touch each other with some lights on, if you can’t talk about what you like and don’t like regarding sexual touching, YOU ARE NOT READY TO HAVE SEX and/or YOU ARE WITH THE WRONG PERSON. For real. Don’t do it.

90% of sexual pleasure is in your BRAIN. So, if you’re not feeling safe, cared about, respected, listened to, wanted, known, you won’t climax (come; have an orgasm) AND you won’t feel good afterwards about what you’re doing with that person.

Consent must be given and received before having sex, but it is NOT an obligation to give (or get) consent.

Sex WON’T “fix” a relationship, “bring you closer” or make a tentative connection “better.” It’s just sex. You might temporarily feel more connected after having some sexual contact, but when your clothes are back on, you’re back to being yourselves and you’re stuck with whatever relationship you already have.

Having sex doesn’t cause you to become more mature, smart, “cool,” or ready for responsibility. You’re still YOU; you’ve just added sex to the mix and that is usually NOT a good idea at your age. TRULY.

Be honest with yourself. What turns you on? What/which kinds of people? Are you attracted only to certain types of people? One or more genders?

Here are some clues: “Nice” is NOT boring. Meanness doesn’t signify someone with higher intelligence, just a facility with sarcasm. Humor that is unkind reveals a person using it who is not kind. Pretty eyes, a great voice, fascinating hands or other body parts do NOT lead to having a good relationship: a PERSON has to be attached to these features whom you actually like.

image from http://www.nydailynews.com

4) School, Science and Writing You will have some horrible science teachers and some excellent English/writing teachers. Your math teachers will mostly be all right, but not great. Same with social studies and other subjects: good, but not great. Don’t let the qualities of your teacher determine what YOU are interested in pursuing.

You will use writing throughout your life, for almost everything related to education and work. So, continue to improve your writing/editing skills. You will never regret becoming a good writer.

If you love science (or anything else), stick with it, even if the teachers are awful in high school. It gets better in college and beyond. You can also learn on your own throughout your life, so learn how to learn: that is key.

High school is only 4 years of your life: don’t let it define you or your future choices overly much. Right now, high school is one-fourth of your years on earth, but the older you get, the smaller that percentage becomes. By the time you’re thirty, these four years aren’t even one-eighth of your life. See?

quote from The Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss.

5) Meditation and Religion You won’t feel connected to Judaism, regardless of how many years you are forced to attend religious education classes and how many of your friends and family members are Jewish. That’s all right.

You will find meditation, then Buddhism to be spiritual “home” for you. Say “yes” when your friends offer to bring you to meditation classes. Say “no” when people try to push you into anything that doesn’t feel right to you.

You will have to pave your own way, even though you’re the only one in your family to travel this spiritual path. You’ll be happy with yourself and you don’t harm anyone else, so go for it.

image from http://www.opendharma.org

I hope you’ll take these pieces of advice to heart and follow them. If not, you’ll not be any worse off, at least.

Love,

Older Sally

Sci-fi/romance author, former writing teacher and editor and LIVE talk show host of the almost weekly G+ HOA/Youtube videochat, CHANGES conversations between authors, Sally Ember, Ed.D., is my guest blogger today.

“I have been passionate about writing since I was nine years old, when I wrote and published my first story, a fairy tale about an inquisitive princess (see? I started out autobiographical). Always competitive, I’m absurdly proud that I won prizes for my poetry, stories, songs and plays early in life. Did I use up my creativity good karma too soon?

“I was born Jewish on the cusp of Leo and Virgo, which seems to mean that my life has been infused with change. Currently, I meditate, write, swim, read and host CHANGES most Wednesdays, 10 – 11 AM Eastern time, USA, in St. Louis, Missouri. I have one older brother and two younger sisters (none lives in St. Louis but we’re in close contact) and I used to have seven step-sisters and two step-brothers (we’re not in touch).

“I began meditating at age 17 with Transcendental Meditation (T.M., like the Beatles) and have been meditating for over 40 years. I became a Buddhist in 1996 (in this lifetime, anyway).

“In my ‘other’ professional life, I have worked as an educator and upper-level, nonprofit manager in colleges, universities and private nonprofits for over thirty-five years in New England (every state), New Mexico and the San Francisco Bay Area before returning to live in St. Louis, MO, in August, 2014. I have a BA in Elementary Education, a Master’s (M.Ed.) and a doctorate in education (Ed.D.).

“I enjoy blurring the lines between fact and fiction in a multiverse of multiple timelines, often including exciting elements of utopian science fiction and Buddhism. My sci-fi /romance/ speculative fiction/ paranormal/ multiverse/ utopian/Buddhist-infused, Jewish-themed ebooks for New Adult/adult/YA audiences, The Spanners Series, which are unique, uplifting, intriguing and challenging, according to readers. Vol I, This Changes Everything, is now FREE everywhere since Vol II, This Changes My Family and My Life Forever, released June, 2014. Look for Vol III, This Is/Is Not the Way I Want Things to Change, in 2015, and Vol IV – X in subsequent years; about two per year is the plan.

“I have one son, Merlyn, who is a computer network engineer and musician. Merlyn, my sisters, my mom and several friends serve as my beta readers and sounding boards for much of my writing and also contribute ideas and characters for my books, as do others in my family and friendship circles (voluntarily or not). The stories in The Spanners Series are completely true and all these characters and situations exist in some timeline or another.

“Since I alternate the POVs and focus on characters and situations to feature those who are younger/YA/NA for even-numbered Volumes of The Spanners Series and feature older adults (primarily) in odd-numbered Volumes, I plan to ‘crowdcreate’ Volume VIII with younger writers and Volume IX with those closer to my age (older adults). I invite readers to submit to me your ideas and suggestions and/or volunteer to collaborate in other ways for either of these Volumes (your choice) no later than January 31, 2016. sallyember AT yahoo DOT com

“I am also a some-time editor/proofreader, infrequent reviewer (but PLEASE do not send me your books or requests; I choose what to review and I rarely do it since I focus on writing and hosting), frequent blogger and talk-show host, so I geared the ‘rewards’ for my Patreon Crowdfunding campaign to be useful to those who choose to donate (as little as $4 gets a donor something). The Patreon page features videos of me singing (a capella; be nice) an original song about my campaign and describing the campaign goals and rewards. Link is below.

“I blog regularly on a wide range of topics and I also include reviews, interviews, guest blog posts, and excerpts from my ebooks. Visit and comment, follow, ‘like,’ and share.” http://www.sallyember.com/blog

BOOK BLURBS:

Volume I, This Changes Everything, The Spanners Series, by Sally Ember, Ed.D., PERMAFREE

Dr. Clara Ackerman Branon, 58, begins having secret visits from holographic representations of beings from the Many Worlds Collective, a consortium of planet and star systems in the multiverse. When Earth is invited to join the consortium, the secret visits are made public. Now Earthers must adjust their beliefs and ideas about life, religion, culture, identity and everything they think and are. The MWC selects Clara to be the liaison between Earth and the Many Worlds Collective and she chooses Esperanza Enlaces to be the Media Contact. They team up to provide information to stave off riots and uncertainty. The Many Worlds Collective holos train Clara and the Psi-Warriors for the Psi Wars with the rebelling Psi-Defiers, communicate effectively with many species on Earth and off-planet, eliminate ordinary, elected governments and political boundaries, convene a new group of Global Leaders, and deal with family’s and friends’ reactions. In what multiple timelines of the ever-expanding multiverse do Clara and her long-time love, Epifanio Dang, get to be together and which leave Clara alone and lonely as the leader of Earth? This Changes Everything spans the 30-year story of Clara’s term as Earth’s first Chief Communicator, continuing in nine more Volumes of The Spanners Series. Are YOU ready for the changes?

Volume II, This Changes My Family and My Life Forever, The Spanners Series $3.99

Intrigued by multiple timelines, aliens, psi skills, romance and planetary change? Clara and the alien “Band” are back in Volume II, This Changes My Family and My Life Forever. Now as Chief Communicator, Clara leads the way for interspecies communication on- and off-planet. Fighting these changes are the Psi-Defiers, led by one of the oldest friends of the Chief of the Psi-Warriors, its reluctant leader, Rabbi Moran Ackerman. Stories from younger Spanners about the first five years of The Transition fill Volume II. How would YOU do with the changes?