Sally Ember's Blog, page 103
August 31, 2014
Desperate Reflections: Available Through Booktrope Publishing
CHANGES’ first guest, author Shay West, has a new release in the Alexis Davenport series! Congrats, Shay!
Originally posted on Dr. Shay West:
Desperate Reflections, the third book of the Alexis Davenport series is now available through your favorite online book sellers!
Blurb:
In this final book of the Adventures of Alexis Davenport Series, we find Alex dealing with more drama than ever: her first break-up, her mom’s new boyfriend, and attempting to learn the secrets of her “gift” on her own.
Desperate to stop Drifter, Alex uses her ability to locate the evil Traveler, only to discover that he lives in her time…
And he knows who she is.
In a final race against time, Alex must discover Drifter’s ultimate plan, stop him, and save her family…all before prom.
Filed under: Writing
August 30, 2014
Buddhism is True
Simple explanation of Buddhism as NOT a religion. Some people utilize it that way, but it is NOT inherently “religious.” Thanks, Jessica Davidson!
Originally posted on Jessica Davidson:
Filed under: Writing
Scrambled Brain Challenge!
“The Scrambled Brain Challenge” makes me laugh. Great idea!
Originally posted on Inside Danielle's mind:
As most of you know, this page is called TBI triumphs! I have a Traumatic Brain Injury, which I have gotten from a car accident that I was in high school, 16 years old, 17 years ago. My friend, Kristin, who I met through the TBI support group that I have recently begun attending [it's at Fairfax Hospital, every 4th Friday of the month; comment on here or email me if you'd like further information]. The Scrambled Brain Challenge, is for TBI awareness, you can learn more about this condition and donate money on the Brain Injury Association. It’s fun to show your support by cracking an egg on your head and post it on facebook- but if you don’t want to crack an egg, please go to BIAUSA.org and read about these injuries. Brain injuries DON’T discriminate, and can happen to anyone.
https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10152668601664916&set=vb.638354915&type=2&theater
There’s a cute…
View original 1,160 more words
Filed under: Writing
Wendy Davis Comes to BookPeople!
Anybody close enough to go? GO! Report back! #WendyDavisforGovernorofTexas
Originally posted on BookPeople's Blog:
Davis became an overnight political sensation and a hero to women’s rights supporters across the country when she single-handedly filibustered Governor Rick Perry’s sweeping bill that aimed to close all but five abortion clinics in our state. She is now the first Democrat to make a serious run for governor of Texas in two decades.
For more important info, please visit our website. We hope you can join us for this exciting event!
Filed under: Writing
August 28, 2014
Deadly Eye Makeup and other “Beauty” “Aids”: STOP USING THESE!
I know many people are squeamish about our eyes, as I am. I have had many years of allergies (itchy and runny eyes) and now I have “dry” eyes (ironically? relatedly?), which also makes them itchy and runny. Go figure.
I would be a horrible contact lens wearer; luckily, I am far-sighted, so that never came up. I have “baby cataracts,” which means I have to have surgery in about 10 or 15 years. Just the thought of eye-surgery already gives me the willies.
Perhaps it isn’t necessary, but I will tell you, mostly due to my distaste for having anything near or in/on my eyes: I have almost never worn any make-up, especially eye make-up, unless I was in a play. I hate the way make-up feels and it always bothers my eyes, even when it’s “hypoallergenic.” My eyelids are practically invisible with my eyes open, anyway, so lid makeup is a complete waste.
Furthermore, and increasingly more importantly, I am politically and socially against the entire concept of women’s “needing” to change the ways we look to attempt to conform to some random social norms (which keep changing and, once again, are NOT “universal”).
As a feminist, I have had many arguments with others who are unclear on the concept. They say inane things like: “Feminists are supposed to be in support of whatever women want to do.”
Really? Following that line of irrational thought, we would have no uniformity in the Domestic Violence Prevention movement and no mandatory reporting of DV to give “teeth” to anti-abuse laws that made violence against one’s partner a crime, since many women “choose” to stay with abusive partners and refuse to report the violence. We would also be without a whole host of other improvements to women’s lives. Should feminists “support whatever women want to do?” Of course not.
Mindlessly supporting women’s “right” OR “choice” to wear make-up is no different. Most of make-up is not harmful, I suppose, unless the creation of it harmed animals or the wearer happens to be allergic to it. At least, some make-up is not harmful in any physical way.
But what about the types of make-up, particularly eye makeup, that ARE harmful? These culprits can cause infections, irritations, even blindness or death!
Keep reading, then tell me these types of “choices” are what feminists ought to support.
I realize I’m preaching to the choir, here, since many of my followers are feminists, men, and/or don’t wear much/any make-up. So, please SHARE this post so it finds the women/girls who need to read it!
First, we “look” at make-up/alterations for Eyelashes.
EYELASH EXTENSIONS
With and Without Eyelash Extensions. Image from: http://skinclinicny.com
I’ll give you the conclusion, first: DON’T. Or, if you MUST use eyelash extensions (and I can’t imagine who must, but I guess some of you could), please read the entire article (link below).
“The risks of eyelash extensions are not only an allergic reaction to the glue [used to attach the extensions], but erosion of the inner surface of the eyelid,” says Dr. Orly Avitzur, M.D., one of our medical advisors. “And that can cause permanent damage to your eyelashes.”
Eye Infection. Image from: http://unnaturalmakeup.wordpress.com
All right. Suppose I have now convinced you not to “extend” your eyelashes in this way. What about changing their color or trying to give them more “fullness”?
Latisse, which is an FDA-approved treatment for thin lashes, has potential side effects as well, including:
Permanent changes in eye color—turning blue, green, or hazel eyes brown
Permanently darkened eyelids
Hair growth elsewhere on your face, if you’re not careful
Itching, redness
Lower eye pressure, which could potentially mask glaucoma or other eye problems
So, if I have this right, people who use Latisse to give themselves “better” eyelashes may also give themselves hairy cheeks, itchy, red eyes, changes in their iris’ color, and even make worse (by hiding) their actual eye diseases?
Sure, that’s worthwhile. Going out right now to get myself some of that. Gotta be “pretty,” don’t I?
But, how “pretty” are itchy, swollen, darkened eyelids and/or hairy cheeks?
Some make-up must be safe, you claim. You use/you know women who use it all the time with no ill effects. All right.
But, what about doing a serious costs-gains analysis, weighing the potential ill effects and the potential “benefits”: how can you compare impairing your eyes’ health or even the loss of your eyesight with the “benefits” of having a few hours of “looking better”?
Go ahead, ignore me, the research, the warnings: dye your eyelashes, anyway. What harm could it do?
EYELASH DYES
Eyelash dyes are a big beauty don’t. Currently, there are no color additives approved by U.S. Food and Drug Administration for dyeing or tinting eyelashes, and the FDA cautions against doing so. The dyes can cause blindness.
Eyelash/eyelid infection due to make-up. Image from: http://www.beautyglimpse.com
Read the entire article for the list of do’s and don’ts. SHARE!
http://www.shopsmart.org/2014/02/skip-eyelash-extensions-stick-with-mascara.html
What about PERMANENT EYELINER, another way to dye one’s eyelids?
It’s a great idea to get one’s eyeliner inked in permanently, right? Save money, save time: one and done. Until someone goes home crying….
While often cheap, work done by untrained, unlicensed practitioners may require expensive corrections and revisions later. This happens because in order to cut costs, such practitioners use cheap, low quality pigments and do not invest much into acquiring and updating their permanent makeup skills.
Some of the typical problems requiring corrections are odd eyebrow and lip colors, unflattering or asymmetric shapes and pigment migration…. Corrections are a two-step process.
Image of permanent eyeliner fail and info, above, from: http://www.chicagopermanentcosmetics.com
EYELASH MASCARA
“Well,” you say, “I refuse to go out without a little mascara. That can’t be that bad!”
Oh, yes. Mascara CAN be that bad.
About seven years ago. one brand of $160-tubes of mascara was recalled from the market because it was found to cause infections and other problems, many leading to blindness. Did you hear about that? Probably not. http://consumerist.com/2007/11/17/160-mascara-seized-by-fda-because-it-can-cause-blindness/
What about other types of mascara? Since we know expensive doesn’t equal better, now, what to think?
There are still problems with ALL types of mascara. The tubes are hotbeds for bacteria and some of those DO lead to infections and blindness, regardless of how careful the user is. What to do?
Side effects of mascara
“Mascara is used by most women to lengthen their eyelashes, make them appear thicker and to lay emphasis on the eye area. However, its applicants rarely have knowledge on the adverse side effects of mascara. Mascara contains harmful ingredients that affect the users’ lashes and skin. Mercury, bronopol, parabens and benzyl alcohol are just but a few of the harmful ingredients used to manufacture mascara.”
Some of the adverse effects associated with the use of mascara include:
–Mascara may lead to eyesight problems such as blurred vision and blindness
The presence of an ingredient known as pseudomonas aeruginosa is associated with eye blindness in mascara users.
–Occurrence of cancers and breast tumors
Parabens is a preservative for many cosmetic products including mascaras. When mascara is applied, parabens is absorbed into the body. Frequent application leads to large deposits of the parabens in the body. This has been linked to the presence of breast cancers and tumors amongst women.
–Thinning of eyelashes
–As much as mascara makes your eyelashes appear thicker and linger, its chemical composition reacts with the eyelashes to make them thinner. Mascara clogs up the hair follicles making the growth of eyelashes difficult.
They cause irritation to the eye
–Ingredients such as triethanolamine and methylparaben act as irritants to the eyes. This may lead to eye related problems and skin irritations especially around the eyes.
–Loss of eyelashes
–When applied frequently, mascara tends to dry the eyelashes. Mascara is therefore one of the causes for eyelashes falling out.
–Eye infections
Mascara may enter the eye of the applicant during application or thereafter by rubbing the eyes. The presence of these harmful ingredients may lead to eye infections.
–Mascara has been linked to neurotoxicity and infertility.
All above mascara info is from http://www.foodlve.com/food/how-to-make-your-eyelashes-longer-without-mascara-6744385
If you are that committed to altering your appearance or you’re wearing a costume or something, try the safer alternatives listed in the above article.
COLORED CONTACT LENSES
“Fine,” you say, now. “I won’t use mascara, eyelash extenders, eyelash alterations or dye my eyelids. What about colored contact lenses? They have to be all right, don’t they”
Nope. Look what CBS reported last year (2103) after Halloween! “Color[ed] contact lenses for Halloween may carry blindness risk”
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/color-contact-lenses-for-halloween-may-carry-blindness-risk/
CBS reported:
Part of the risk is that people often don’t go to the ophthalmologist or optometrist to make sure that the contacts fit properly. Improper fit can lead to scratches on the cornea, which is the clear dome of tissue above the colored iris portion of the eye. People can also get an ulcer on the cornea, known as a corneal infection. There’s also the risk of getting conjunctivitis, or pink eye, and having decreased vision. It some cases, these problems could lead to blindness.
And the health risks could occur with only one wearing.
“Wearing it for a couple seconds could cause damage,” Dr. Edward Kondrot, an ophthalmologist and the founder of the Healing The Eye & Wellness Center in Dade City, Fla., said to CBSNews.com. “If it’s poorly fit, you could develop a scratch on the cornea, and it becomes an open wound.”
Colored Contacts for Costume Wearers. Image from: http://buycoloredcontacts.blogspot.com
CBS News reporters then warned/recommended: “If you still really want to wear the decorative lenses, the FDA recommended getting an eye exam from a qualified professional and getting a valid prescription. Buy the lenses from a retailer that requires a prescription and take care to follow the directions.”
So, go ahead: have fun with altering your eyes. Just be safe out there!
Filed under: Life lessons, Opinions, Science Tagged: eyelashes, feminism, feminist, make-up, mascara
August 26, 2014
from Anne R. Allen, HOW TO/how not to #BLOG, for #author/#bloggers
Another great post from Anne R. Allen, filled with details, concrete advice, tips and warnings for #author/#bloggers.
My favorite part (and there are MANY great parts):
“4) DON’T limit yourself with a restrictive niche“
“For product bloggers and reviewers, niche is important. It’s better to be the #1 blogger for jelly doughnut reviews or vegan baby food recipes than the 10 millionth blogger “musing about stuff”.
“But you’re an author. Your product is YOU. Don’t keep yourself hemmed in by a limited niche.
“For a long time, I believed all the stuff about how you have to have a niche. So this is a niche blog. It’s serving us well, but it hems us in.
“Remember people surf the Web looking for two things: information and entertainment. Your blog can spin a good yarn, make people laugh, provide information, or all three, as long as you are putting it all in your own honest, unique voice.
“I used to caution writers against putting fiction on blogs. It is still less likely to be read, because people are mostly skimming blogs for information, but there’s been growth in the “story blog” recently, so if you have flash fiction you don’t intend to send to contests or journals, it’s okay to put it on your blog. But do realize it will be officially “published” so you have given away first rights.
“NOTE: It’s still not smart to post raw bits of a novel in progress. [italics are mine; Sally Ember, here] Agents and publishers won’t consider that book because it’s now published (unless you’re getting 100,000 hits a post.) Also, readers respond much better to self-contained short fiction than unedited bits of novels. And remember your job is to entertain, not seek free editorial advice.
“Another caveat: one of the least interesting topics to readers is your writing process [italics are mine; Sally Ember, here]. Hardly any potential reader wants to know your daily word count or your rejection sorrows. Other writers may stop by to commiserate, and you do want to network with other authors, but don’t make your writer’s block or attempts to get published the main focus of your blog.
“You simply want to offer your unique voice talking about the things you feel passionate about: the research you’re doing on medieval armor; your theories on why raccoons are going to take over the planet; the hilarious adventures of an erotica writer running for PTA president. Anything that will draw in readers will work.”
THANKS! Reblogging! Link is below. PLEASE visit and read the whole post if you are an author/blogger. Well worth your time!
http://annerallen.blogspot.com/2014/06/how-to-blog-essential-dos-and-donts-for.html
Filed under: Blogging and others' content, Writing Tagged: blogging, writing
August 22, 2014
#60for60 ENDS Today! 6/21 – 8/22/14
Read about my outcomes for #60for60, for my attempts to engage in acts of kindness and gratitude in the 60 days leading up to my 60th birthday.
image from ulovesomethingmore.com
Pick one or more and engage in them yourself, any time!
image from meetville.com
Comment on my blog to wish me “Happy Birthday” and tell your stories on or after 8/22/14.
Enjoy! 6/21 – 8/22/14
60 FOR 60:
60 ACTS OF KINDNESS AND GRATITUDE
FOR THE 60 DAYS PRECEDING MY 60TH BIRTHDAY
June 21, 2014 to 8/22/14
1. $
Give a very good tip. SEVERAL times.
2. $
Pay for someone’s gas. No opportunities (not enough extra funds)
3. $
Pay someone’s fees to foster a dog or cat from shelter. No opportunities (not enough extra funds)
4. $
Leave change in a vending machine. No opportunities (not near any machines)
5. -
Volunteer.
6. $
Donate a random amount of money to a homeless person. No opportunities where it would have been private.
7.
Open doors for people. SEVERAL times.
8.
Give genuine compliments to someone’s very unseen blogs. SEVERAL times.
9.
Donate supplies I don’t use. SEVERAL times: Turns out I’m moving!
10.
LetsSayThanks.com Didn’t do.
11. $
Give someone an umbrella: Brought an extra one on my cross-country move. Maybe my sister will use it!
12.
Let someone behind me go in front of me in a line. SEVERAL times.
13.
Clean a neighbor’s curb area or put their garbage cans back after pick-up. SEVERAL times.
14. $
Buy someone’s groceries in the checkout. No opportunities (not enough extra funds, but gave away a LOT of food during my move give-aways)
15. $
Pick up the tab for a random family/person. No opportunities (not enough extra funds, but gave away so many items to single parents and seniors during my move give-aways)
16. $
Buy some carry-out lunch and deliver it to a homeless person. Told story about this in previous post.
17.
Give compliments to people. Several times
18. $
Buy some toys a child might like and leave them on their porch. Gave to a parent, instead.
19.
Post about something useful to others.Several times, according to comments and thanks.
20. $
Go to the bank and deposit money into other’s account. No opportunities (not enough extra funds)
21. $
Pay off someone’s layaway at a store. No opportunities (not enough extra funds)
22. $
Cook lunch or dinner for someone I know and bring to them.Several times, served here rather than delivered.
23. $
Buy a college student’s textbook or lunch. No opportunities (not enough extra funds)
24.
Leave a thank -you note at every farmers’ market vendor’s stall. Thanked them orally, instead.
25.
Collect coupons and leave at laundromats. Didn’t do. Don’t collect coupons.
26. -
Leave Buddhist magazines at homeless shelters. Donated them to someone who is working at organization that serves homeless youth and families, instead.
27.
Donate clothes, coats, shoes. SEVERAL times: Turns out I’m moving!
28. $
Reserve a coffee at coffee shop. I don’t go to coffee shops.
29.
Read someone’s writing and give constructive feedback, for free, even though I’m a professional editor. Several times.
30.
Send a thank-you note to every family member. Done by email and Facebook posts.
31.
Send a thank-you note to every friend. Done by email and Facebook posts.
32.
Offer to edit, rewrite, or help write something for someone for free. Did four+ times. Great responses.
33.
Respond to someone’s comments with positive statements in FB, LinkedIn, Google+ groups. Several times.
34.
Thank group moderators in above groups.Haven’t done all, but have done some.
35.
Tweet about someone else’s writing, music or art. Several times.
36.
RT or repost someone’s great quote. Several times.
37.
Vote up someone’s submission on Reddit, StumbleUpon, Youtube. Several times.
38.
Thank every cashier and waitron I can’t tip. Several times.
39.
Offer to help someone who seems to need help at stores, farmers’ market, library. Several times.
40.
Donate books to library book sale. Several times.
41. $
Donate food to food bank. Several times.
42.
Offer a ride to someone with burdens walking to the BART or bus. No opportunity.
43. $
Buy a BART ticket and give it away. No opportunities (haven’t been near BART)
44. $
Leave tips in tip jars even when I don’t buy anything. Tipped two people who usually don’t get tipped.
45. $
Donate to my spiritual teacher even when I don’t see him. Actually, got to see him. Wonderful.
46.
Get and give coupons for free ebooks to teachers. No opportunities.
47.
Write positive reviews for books and rank them on Amazon. Several times.
48. $
Visit one church or temple per month and donate to charity tray/basket Didn’t do.
49.
Send thank-you notes to musicians, writers, artists whose work I appreciate Did a few.
50.
Send thank-you notes to teachers or their children/spouses. No opportunities.
51.
Scan then post/email photos from albums for friends, family and let them know. Several times.
52.
Make Youtube vids thanking writing support groups leaders/members and cover artist, Willowraven, reviewers and beta readers then post. Started CHANGES Hangout On Air 8/6 and do THANK-YOUs in every episode.
53. $
Pay someone’s parking meter. No opportunity (no meters around here).
54.
Compliment a parent on their parenting in public place. Done twice. Fabulous responses.
55.
Compliment/thank a public servant. Thanked some BART guards walking around the Farmers’ Market (near the BART).
56.
Write letter to editor thanking honest, dedicated local politicians. Wish I knew any around here.
57.
Blog about gratitude to my/one’s ancestors. Not done, yet.
58.
Share positive stories about people I knew who are now dead to their living descendants. Not done, yet.
59.
Thank Buddhist sangha members and/or support one’s retreat. Donated books, clothing, ritual items to retreatants/practitioners./strong>
60.
I LOVED doing 60 for 60, even though I didn’t get to them all, I did a lot more than 60 acts!
Find someone else whose birthday is today and wish them “Happy Birthday!” Do kind and generous acts of your own choosing, any day, every day.
Filed under: Gratitude, Life lessons, Personal stories Tagged: acts of kindness, Sally Ember
August 20, 2014
Bras and Shoes: Breast Cancer, Bunions, Back Strain and “Beauty” Lies
WARNING: Naked breasts appear in this post, for instructional purposes only.
This post is meant to inform about some aspects of modern women’s (and men’s ) lives in Western nations that need changing. Yes, these are “first-world” problems. But, they ARE problems. If you don’t mind the problems these cause or you don’t have these problems, go read something more fun/useful. Or, pass it on to those who might benefit from reading it!
BRAS, ANTI-PERSPIRANTS and BREAST CANCER
BRAS
I have always hated bras. I personally hate wearing them and almost never do. Even when well-fitted, bras inform me that there is a special place in hell for those who design them. Bras itch, ride up, pinch and nonstop bother me.
I also hate the rationales people make for women’s wearing of bras. As a feminist, I am offended and disgusted by the so-called “reasons” for bras because these are based on modern, industrialized, Puritanically based Western cultural biases that “require” teenage or adult females to cover our nipples, to pretend not to have any. Also, we are told that we are “unprofessional” unless we are complicit in disguising our breasts’ shapes. These misogynistic attitudes are NOT “universal” and need to be eradicated.
However, I could put all that hatred aside and just accept that some women want (or claim they “need”) to wear bras, except for three somewhat newly surfacing facts, based on extensive research over many decades:
1) Bras do not work. Gravity wins. It wins BIGGER when women wear bras: bras CAUSE breasts to sag MORE because wearing bras weakens the pectoral muscles that would ordinarily work and strengthen to hold up one’s breasts over a lifetime. With few exceptions, NO WOMEN should wear bras just to “hold them up.” Those whose breasts hurt due to hormonal changes and jiggling makes the pain worse: sure, wear bras. Those with extremely large breasts claim that wearing bras helps “carry” them, HOWEVER: the BRAS cause more shoulder and back pain than their breasts.
Jean-Denis Rouillon, a professor at University of Besançon in France, authored a study stating that women are better off not wearing bras. They are scientifically unnecessary, and, in fact, could be hazardous to breast health, leading to sagging breasts and increased back pain….”Medically, physiologically, anatomically — breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity,” Rouillon told France Info radio. “On the contrary, they get saggier with a bra.”
http://www.medicaldaily.com/bras-make-breasts-saggier-french-doctor-says-women-better-bra-less-244995
2) Bras increase the risk of breast cancer.
The Susan G. Komen Foundation and the American Cancer Society (ACS) are the main organizations who refuse to properly present summaries and warnings derived from the amassing research that shows a link between increased incidences (“Risk”) of breast cancer the wearing of bras, especially tight ones, for 12 or more hours per day, particularly all night.
…at least five research studies have shown that there IS a strong connection between breast cancer and bra wearing for many hours per day.
http://www.inquisitr.com/1202191/your-bra-may-be-killing-you-scientists-call-for-boycott-of-komen/
Lymphatic Systems of Breasts: image from healthieralternatives.wordpress.com
3) Underwire Bras, in particular, cause health problems.
The pressure points that underwire bras rest on are critically important, according to Eastern medical knowledge, to the functioning of major systems in the body. However, constant metallic pressure on these points is contra-indicated in all women and can cause a myriad of health problems over time.
The UnderWires in the UnderWire Bra fall directly onto two very important NeuroLymphatic Reflexes. The one under the right breast goes to the Liver and Gall Bladder. The one under the left breast goes to the Stomach….If a woman keeps the metal UnderWires on top of those reflex points, over time that WILL mess up the functioning of the associated circuits: Liver, Gall Bladder, and Stomach. Bottom Line: It will likely make her sick, slowly and quietly.
http://www.relfe.com/wp/health/dangers-underwire-bras/
If those three information points do not convince you to stop “supporting” bra-wearing and worse, if you are still committed to wearing bras yourself, that is illogical. Check out this infographic and OTHER problems caused by ill-fitting bras:
% of Women Having Problems Due to Ill-Fitting Bras: image from http://www.bariatriccookery.com
Almost half the women who wear bras that are ill-fitting (which, according to other research, would include MOST women), suffer skin rashes. Another 35% have shoulder pain. Are you one of these women?
If you are that irrational about bras, you might want to discontinue reading the rest of this post, because things are going to go from bad to worse for you.
ANTI-PERSPIRANTS
(not Deodorants, which merely mask smells)
are those products that attempt to “dry up” or prevent the armpits from sweating. What about the causal connections between anti-perspirants and breast cancer? After much “debate” and “debunking” of the “myth” of this connection by the research FUNDED BY THE COMPANIES THAT MAKE ANTI-PERSPIRANTS in the USA, we finally have unbiased research results from the UK showing several causal links between the key ingredients in anti-perspirants and DNA changes and between the lymphatic blockages intentionally caused by these products that lead to increased incidences of breast cancer in both men and women.
Britain has one of the highest rates of breast cancer in the world and every year almost 13,000 British women die from it. Britons are also among the biggest users of antiperspirant deodorants, getting through £300 million worth of bottles each year. The rising incidence of breast cancer in men may also suggest a connection. Breast cancer in men has doubled in the past three decades to 300 cases per year – a time frame that coincides with the increasing use of underarm products by men.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-185071/How-safe-antiperspirant.html
Guess what gets the attention of researchers, health commissioners and the public? when the problems affect MEN. Sigh.
SHOES
Enough about breast cancer? Depressed, yet?
Let’s talk about shoes. I do not understand some women’s obsessions with shoes. I really don’t. But, obsessed or not, most of us wear shoes most of the time.
How well do our shoes serve us? Do they support our best posture, provide safety from h
Luckily for me (!?!) I was in a serious car accident my senior year of high school that caused me to have life-long problems with my right leg. This prevented me from ever getting into wearing “high” heels, or ANY heels, for that matter, for more than about 30 minutes per… year. I say “luckily” because both my mother and her mother had/have bunions and hammertoes. So far, I do not.
I also have many back problems and hip issues from other injuries that continue to plague me and keep me wearing the most supportive, comfortable shoes I can afford.
What about you? Do you go for fashion at the expense of your comfort or health? I hope you don’t.
If you do, read on and perhaps I and the research can change your mind.
Hammertoes: image from http://www.kyforward.com
Bunions, Backstrain and Hammertoes
Because of her own problems with shoes and foot health, Ivey Allison wrote a great post which I recommend you read in its entirety. Here is a salient quote, based on her research:
…almost every shoe on the market, flat or heeled, has a toe box design that is too small and tapered to allow the foot to be properly aligned. The result? Foot deformity — and painful bunions….Every single pair of shoes you own is likely deforming your foot. Permanently.
http://www.xojane.com/healthy/bunion-care-treatment-prevention
The Huffington Post‘s Rebecca Adams & Ellie Krupnick did some great research and wrote summaries of their findings in last October’s post on what shoes are the worst offenders, causing bunions, hammertoes, and back strain, among other problems (not to mention costing ridiculous amounts of money!). here is a sample and the link to the full post:
STILETTOS
Wearing heels shifts your weight to the balls of your feet, which puts pressure on your foot. This also creates a balance problem: It forces your knees and hips forward, hurting your back and legs. Wearing these shoes can cause: hyperextension, ankle sprains, midfoot fractures, neuromas (benign nerve tumors), pinched nerves, bunions and hammertoes.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/09/shoes-worst-for-feet_n_4069370.html
They also summarized the impact and effects of wearing Platform Wedges; Converse-style Sneakers; High-Heeled, Rain or Thigh-High Boots; Ballet Flats; and, Flip-Flops.
Bunion: image from my.clevelandclinic.org
The worst offenders? I guess it depends what you think are worse. Each shoe type they mentioned came with its own list of problems, such as:
mold, fungus, bacteria, wart viruses and blisters;
inflammation, tendonitis, heel pain, strains, fractures and external injuries (e.g. stepping on a nail);
chronic stress injuries, particularly to the heel;
inflammation, tendonitis, heel pain, strains and stress fractures;
inflammation, tendonitis, heel pain, strains, stress fractures and external injuries (e.g. stepping on a nail);
hyperextension, midfoot fractures, neuromas (benign nerve tumors), pinched nerves, bunions and hammertoes;
hyperextension, bunions and hammertoes;
hyperextension, ankle sprains, midfoot fractures,
neuromas (benign nerve tumors), pinched nerves, bunions and hammertoes.
Choose which group of symptoms you’re willing to acquire and then merrily (warily) go shoe shopping.
Or, buy better-fitting, healthier, more comfortable shoes.
image from mostcomfortableshoesguide.net
Filed under: Life lessons, Opinions, Science, Statistics Tagged: back strain, beauty, bras, breast cancer, bunions, fashion, feminism, hammertoes, Sally Ember, shoes
August 19, 2014
#iamsubject story: I Find Myself Wherever I Live and I Move A Lot!
I am participating in Diane DeBella’s #iamsubject project http://www.iamsubject.com/the-iamsubject-project/. Here is my #iamsubject story.
I Find Myself Wherever I Live and I Move A Lot!
#iamsubject story: I Find Myself Wherever I Live and I Move A Lot!
Whenever I interact closely with females, my menstrual cycle changes its start date. I am never the anchor. I am a mover.
Why?
Maybe because I was born near the beginning of the last hour for a Leo to be born in St. Louis, MO, 1954, so I am almost a Virgo. Being on the cusp shows up all over my life. I don’t completely believe in astrology, but one astrologer read my chart and told me: “You will always be in transition. This is good for being a Buddhist. You are quite familiar with impermanence!”
Or, perhaps it’s due to my never quite belonging in any one place, group or category. Whenever I take a personality or any other kind of test whose results divide people into groups or types, my answers put me in more than one, straddling two or more, often.
Then, there is the ridiculous number of times I have relocated. I lived in fourteen places before the age of 22. During one three-year period, I moved with my infant, then toddler, and his father, my full upright piano, his woodworking tools and wood collection, three times every year)!
The number is about to hit 30 more, totaling 52 places of residence before I turn 60, averaging out to almost one per year. Most of those moves were not of my own choice, meaning: I didn’t want to be a nomad; I had to go. Next month (July, 2014), I have to move again.
I have lived in this place for fewer than eighteen months. Before that, I was housesitting nearby for three months. Before that–almost a record–I had practically seven years in my own place. Luckily, my next move is back to that same town, north of San Francisco, an area I dearly appreciate.
Some people believe that roots are important. I do not know.
The longest I’ve ever lived in one place is twelve years (twice), but even during those periods, I was away for two to four weeks during some summers, attending or working at camps. The longest circumstances have allowed me to stay in one job is almost five years (also twice).
How do I “find myself” when I am not located anywhere in particular? Many philosophers say: “Wherever you go, there you are.” I have become a lifetime believer in that aphorism.
By others’ reports, I am reliable, organized, stable and calm, yet I am also unpredictable, unusual and “different.” How am I “different” and from whom?
I do not identify with “stuff.” I do not collect anything for the sake of having a collection.
Even though I have framed pictures and art, I do not often hang or display most of it. In this current, almost 18-month tenure, I “never got around to it.”
I read constantly, but the books I own do not even fill one bookcase. I always belong to and avidly use libraries.
I don’t talk like anyone else in my family of origin. I have no regionally identifiable accent.
Because I’ve lived in so many places–Missouri, Wisconsin, every state in New England, New York state, New Mexico, California, the Philippines), I have an unusual conglomeration of ways to pronounce and articulate certain words, phrases and concepts. I also know some Spanish, Italian, Hebrew, Yiddish, German, French and Tibetan. It’s impossible to determine where I’m “from” by hearing me talk.
Another way I’m a “mover” is that I adapt to and adopt others’ cuisine, ways of living, schedules, customs, preferences and styles rather quickly. Most people see me as having my own unique, eclectic “style.” Little do they know that most of these “ways” aren’t originally “mine” or even from any one person or place.
“My weird ways”:
I get up between 3 and 5 AM.
Because I attended or set up on my own several ten-day to eleven-week Buddhist meditation retreats for the last fifteen years, I got used to rising early. Before that, not my schedule.
I eat very differently from the way I was raised.
Housemates brought me into eating and cooking organic, whole, healthy, mostly local foods in 1977. After a few years of that, the new food habits “stuck.”
For over thirty years, I hated and altered my curly hair, then set it free.
I tried to get my curly hair to “go straight”–I ironed it with a clothing iron, used chemicals, wrapped it in giant curlers or used my head as the largest curler, used hand dryers in public bathrooms–all in the pursuit of unnaturally straight/er hair. Every day, even when I stopped using methods, I brushed and tried to “tame” my wavy/curly hair, usually unsuccessfully. One day, one of my younger sisters who shares these genes of mine showed wearing her hair in an abundance of curls. I asked her how she managed them? She said: “I stopped brushing my hair.” This was a revelation! I haven’t brushed my hair since. It is cooperatively curling on most days.
For almost twelve years, I suffered through shaving, then happily stopped.
I acquired numerous scars from cuts, had painfully ingrown hairs, developed awful deodorant rashes and a host of other problems. I hated shaving, but I kept doing it. One day in 1977, I arrived at an interview to teach in a parent-cooperative school in Rhode Island. The director, a woman a few years older than I, didn’t shave. I was fascinated. Since I was spending the late summer weekend with the group of parents, teachers and staff, I plucked up my courage to ask her about not shaving. She said: “Why shave? It wastes time, causes problems and isn’t necessary. Men have the choice. Why shouldn’t women? I choose not to shave.” Dumbfounded at the simplicity of her argument and eager to discard this horrible habit, I happily haven’t shaved since that day in 1977.
I hate bras. Always have.
I used to wear bras. Mostly I don’t, now. Similarly, this same mentor demonstrated the irrelevance of bras. That was an amazing liberation to my 23-year-old self. I have eschewed bras ever since and research has vindicated us on that choice: bras are BAD for circulation, ventilation, and overall lymphatic health. PLUS, they do NOT prevent, but rather exacerbate gravity’s sagging effects. Unless aging hormones cause me to need “holders,” I do not wear them.
I can attribute my “personality quirks,” “life choices,” and many “unique characteristics” of “mine” to others’ influences. Yet, I don’t feel off-balance each time I incorporate a new aspect or habit, often from someone I am newly acquainted with or getting to know better. I am actually very choosy about which traits I adopt and whom I select to emulate. Having been around thousands of people spanning many places, I can be that particular.
My friends, bosses, colleagues, relatives, neighbors, housemates and acquaintances often offer up one habit of speaking, dressing, interacting, leading, thinking, living that I decided to make my own. THANKS to you all!
With each “move,” I re-affirm the central parts that comprise “me” and jettison everything extraneous. Paring down, weeding out, separating the wheat from the chaff, I spend time being grateful for and treasuring what (and whom) I keep in this peripatetic life.
Here I go, again. Let’s see who I become this time!
Filed under: Life lessons, Personal stories Tagged: moving, Self-Awareness
August 18, 2014
My best Give-Away Story: Our Family Table becomes Ryan and Gina’s Family Table
As most of you know, I am moving cross-country this week and spent the last month giving away almost everything substantial I own. By the time I leave, I will have shipped only 5 cardboard boxes and filled just my car (including my sister and HER carry-on bag!).
My mid-Swis, Ellen, and I are driving (after she flies up from LA to Oakland) from northern California to St. Louis, MO, where I will live with our mom. I grew up about 10 minutes from where my mom now lives.
I have had the BEST time arranging for where my “stuff” would next live. Friends, family members and then, strangers arrived in a steady stream to peruse and take things almost every day for the last three weeks. This relinquishing has been poignant, fun, interesting and a bit strange. I actually like to watch “my” things walk out the door, one by one (or by the bag or box), quickly becoming someone else’s possessions.
One of the last things to go (and I wasn’t sure I’d get anyone to take it) was my 5′-round, plywood table and its iron stand, which lived outdoors for the last 18 months.
Please read these emails to find out its story, then look at the photos.
Life can be very sweet!
One bit of background:
After Gina and I emailed back and forth a few times, it was determined, based on all of our schedules, that Gina’s father and Ryan, Gina’s financé, would come to get the table on Friday, mid-day, two days before I left. Ryan and Gina are about to be married.
I told them a few things about the table as they circled it, preparing to move it. As Ryan and his father-in-law picked up the tabletop to carry it to the truck, I asked Ryan: “How are you going to use the table?”
Ryan told me: “We are going to use it for our wedding!”
I smiled and asked: “And then what?”
He replied: “Then, we’re going to keep using it!”
Yeah!
On Friday, August 15, 2014 9:53 PM, Ryan wrote:
Hi Sally,
My father and I got right to work on the table. I attached some photos of the finished top and primered legs.
We will take great care of the table for you.
Thanks again,
Ryan & Gina
I wrote back on Saturday, 8/16, at 7 AM:
Hi, Ryan and Gina,
This makes me so happy!
Thanks so much for taking care of, fixing up and bringing our family/community table which hosted, from 1982 – 2013, countless holiday, birthday, graduation and other rituals’ parties, costume-making and other crafts and arts projects, games’ and toys’ foundations, family meals, work project meetings, tutoring sessions and homework/homeschooling (this table was even featured in the local newspaper in Keene, NH, in 1986, showing my son and me playing an educational game during a homeschool lesson!) into your lives and ceremonies.
This table started out on Court Street in Keene, New Hampshire, in 1982, our family’s first collective households in Keene. It was mounted on a tall barrel that was temporarily filled with fabric; the top was made to be removable so the co-maker, Bonnie, who was doing many sewing projects, could utilize the fabric. We were low on storage space, so, there it was! We celebrated our son’s 2nd birthday and many others’ birthdays in the three years we lived on Court Street with several housemates. We had Thanksgivings, Chanukahs, Christmases and other parties there.
The table came with us in 1985 when we moved to Leverett Street and then in 1986 when we moved to Water Street, also in Keene. We stayed on Water Street for 12 years. During that time, both my son and I had two graduations, each (my master’s and doctorate; his 8th-grade and high school), dozens of birthdays of our families and others, up to 11 people around it for holidays and other parties.
The barrel eventually dried out/fell apart despite many years of repairing and re-circling it with extra metal bands, so Christopher found/made its 4-legged, removable iron stand.
A fledgling Assisted Living/Buddhist Center my then-partner and others started with me in Saco, Maine, received the table when we moved to it in 1998, but then we sold that and we then moved the table and this community to Silver City, New Mexico, in 1999.
The table then followed my peripatetic existence as I lived in five different houses (and it lived on one patio) in Silver City before finding its way with me to Santa Rosa, CA, in late 2001.
There the table was in storage above my housemate’s garage for almost five years. In late 2005, the table happily came out to live with me in Sebastopol, CA, where I used it well for about 8 years.
In late 2013, I had to leave Sebastopol, so the table again went into storage until early 2014, when I moved to Hayward. The table didn’t fit into my little Cherryland house, so it lived outside (that is the way it became so weathered and needed your great craftspersonship to refinish and restore it!). Living alone and not knowing anyone in Hayward, it didn’t get much use but I knew it was there.
So, here we are. I gave the table to you! May you and your loved ones get to enjoy this well-used table in good health and happiness for another 30 years or more!
I’m CC’ing this to: the makers of the table (our friend, Bonnie Insull and my son’s father, Christopher [please forward this, Christopher, to Bonnie]); our son, Merlyn; my mom and some friends and family who lived with and/or enjoyed the use of this table many times with us: they will also be made happy by this news!
I feel much better about leaving it “behind” knowing it’s in such good hands! I love this whole story, so I’m posting it on my blog, with your photos and others I have. http://www.sallyember.com/blog The story will appear Monday, 8/18.
Best to you,
Sally
Sally Ember, Ed.D.
nonprofit manager/educator
author, The Spanners Series
PHOTOS of the Table
Original Craig’s List Give-Away photo, August, 2014:
Before and After Refinishing, 2014
BEFORE:
AFTER:
Filed under: Gratitude, Life lessons, Personal stories Tagged: family, moving, Sally Ember
