Nina Smith's Blog: The Gothic Chicken, page 6

Author Interview: Sarah Wreck

Greetings, dark Grammarians!

This week Grammar Goth had the very great privilege of chatting with occultist, cartoonist and performance artist Sarah Wreck about the release of the first volume of her collected works, Shitty Occult Comics - a gritty and irreverent look at life as an occultist, inspired by Sarah's everyday experiences. Here's what she had to say.

Tell us a bit about yourself. How long have you been writing and creating comics? What got you started?

Sarah Wreck, the artist behind Shitty Occult Comics

Sequential art was a huge influence on my life, starting at age fourteen when I picked up "Preludes and Nocturnes". Neil Gaiman's "The Sandman" changed my life quite a bit, and became the start of my experiences in a different type of world. Sequential art became super important to me, because of the saying "a picture says a thousand words". To add text to a picture is to communicate situations that require much more depth. Naturally, since I had been drawing constantly ever since I could hold a marker, sequential art became a medium that I experimented with a lot. I started drawing comics for my high school newspaper (until I got kicked off for being too niche), worked on a miniseries, and eventually started Shitty Occult Comics in my freshman year of college.

What sort of mediums have you explored in getting your cartoons out there?

You know, I think a lot of people that read my comics think that S.O.C. is the extent of my artistic abilities. A lot of the comics that made severe impressions on me when I was younger were made with mixed media or oil paint. I've experimented with oil, acrylic, watercolor, ink and mixed media in my work as far as sequential art, but the only thing I did that got to a certain level of popularity were these five minute scribbles about mysticism drama.

Can you tell us a bit about your inspiration for the comics, and what made you, as an occultist and empath, decide to tell these stories?

All of these comics are inspired by or are direct situations I've experienced in real life. My life is so absolutely unbelievable that I use my comics as an outlet. Being an occultist, an empath, and growing as a medium basically makes me a landing spot for strange and important things to happen. Making these strips helps me document events that transpire in a lighter and more humorous light.

As well as cartoonist, you've described yourself as a noise artist and performance artist. What do you do in these areas?

I love making experimental noise music, because it helps me create miniature stories and evoke emotion through sound and spoken word. I am now also part of a power electronics project called "Big City Clits" that I do with Jesse Kling (Rape-x/ P.E. Mafia/ Paso Hondo Noise Compound). The performance art that I've been doing for the past year and a half is basically incorporating channelling and the way that I interact with other humans into an art form. My performance art is very much simply a ritualistic experience.

You've published with Martinet Press, a niche publisher who describe themselves as a decidedly darker spiritual press. Can you tell us a bit about your experience of the publishing process?

I have a special bond with one of the editors because we met through supernatural means. We've become great friends and Martinet Press has been lovely for believing in me and taking my work seriously, even though the rest of their publications are not at all humorous. Publishing S.O.C. was a ballsy move for them, but also, in my opinion, a positive act of expansion. Martinet not only primarily releases Left Hand Path occult books, but also releases power electronics and dark/ritualistic porn. Having been involved in the more fringe and transgressive power electronics scene, this sort of culture is something that I've been surrounded by since I started making experimental music, becoming more open about my studies, and generally making more and more underground art.

What advice would you give to other cartoonists who hope to be published?

Making comics is something that you could go on forever about. I never run out of material, which is kind of a blessing and a curse. Follow the steady stream of bullshit in your life and start writing/drawing about it.

Any words for fellow occultists out there?

We all definitely have a love/hate relationship with the fact that magic is real. Just remember, if you're upset about some stupid shit you've gotten into and are regretting ever having picked up an occult book, that you'll soon be happy you did again, you know that feeling never really lasts.

 

 

If you would like to get your hands on a copy of Shitty Occult Comics, you can find it right here. If you want to find out more about Sarah and her work, you can follow Shitty Occult Comics on facebook or find Sarah over at Tumblr.

Recipe: Spicy Purple Carrot Soup

SPICY Purple Carrot soup is a mainstay of the pixie diet for three very important reasons: it is nourishing, purple carrots are plentiful (even though the Guild is running Shadow City into the ground and we suspect the whole martial law thing they instituted is just an excuse for vampires to eat anyone they like) and, most important of all, they are almost black. Everyone knows the closer to black a food is, the better it is for contemplating the dark abyss of lonely eternity by candlelight.

Purple carrot soup is vegan, gluten free, easy to make and almost as black as my sorrowful heart.

Ingredients

3 purple carrots, chopped into coarse pieces

A handful of chopped up pumpkin

2 cloves of garlic

Spring onion

1 chili (preferably black, but red will do)

2 cups of water

1 tsp coconut oil

Heat the coconut oil in a pot. Add in chopped up garlic, chopped up chili and spring onion. Cook until fragrant.

Add in your chopped up purple carrots and pumpkin. Don't worry: I know the pumpkin is a hideous shade of orange right now, but the carrots will turn it almost black, while the pumpkin gives your soup a good thick consistency. Add in water.

Walk away. Contemplate the emptiness of life when you have no purpose but to avoid the wrath of the Guild every single day.

When the soup comes to a boil, reduce to a simmer and cook until the pumpkin disintegrates. The carrots should maintain their shape. Unless you want to blend it all. It doesn't really matter anyway.

*sigh*



Serve by candlelight and eat with friends. Food and sorrow are both best when they're shared with people who understand.

 

 

- Misery Duff

 

 

 

You can read more about Misery in Shadow Book 3: Shiny Things (coming out very soon). If you want to start from the beginning, you can get a copy of Shadow Book 1: Bloody Fairies for FREE by signing up for our mailing list right here! Like this blog? Leave a comment and tell us what you think!

A day in the life of the pixies (told in emojis)

The pixies of Shadow are an ongoing enigma - but here at the Gothic Chicken, we are in the process of finding out everything we can, with the aim of one day bringing you, the reader, a detailed, photographic investigation of their history, their lives and the full story behind their love affair with skulls, glowers and the colour black.

The pixies were kind enough during our last visit to provide us with the following factual report:

A Day in the life of the Pixies of Pixietown.

Told in pixie emojis.

You can read more about the pixies in Shadow Book 3: Shiny Things (coming out very soon). If you want to start from the beginning, you can get a copy of Shadow Book 1: Bloody Fairies for FREE by signing up for our mailing list right here! Like this blog? Leave a comment and tell us what you think!

Author Spotlight: Krysta Ishtar

THIS week Grammar Goth was lucky enough to catch up with debut author Krysta Ishtar, whose forthcoming novel The Missing Muse is due out on shelves within the month. We talked to Ms Ishtar about her inspiration, her creative process and what makes an author tick.

 

Krysta Ishtar, welcome to Grammar Goth. Tell us a little bit about yourself.

Debut author Krysta Ishtar

Hi Grammar Goth. I'm thirty years old, come from Fremantle Western Australia, and I love to play hockey and write. Well I did love to play hockey, but I got kicked off the seventh team I signed up for last month, and nobody else will let me sign. And I do love to write, but I have this huge writers block thing going since finishing The Missing Muse, so, you know...I guess I still have coffee.

You've signed on with relatively new local publisher Eriscorp Books. What made you decide to go traditional in an industry where authors are increasingly favouring indie publishing, and how did you go about finding your publisher?

Well I don't know a lot about indie publishing, but I can tell you I spent about three years sending The Missing Muse to every publisher out there. You know what they say, every rejection is one step closer, right? So anyway I kind of stumbled on Eriscorp by accident - actually it was a pretty weird accident, this woman with neon orange dreadlocks handed me a pamphlet at the Fremantle Markets one day. So I submitted, and I get a reply back from Jane, my publicist, saying, and I quote, `thank Zeus, I thought my brain was going to fall out before I found someone who could write something I didn't hate.' Then she offered me a three book contract.

Wow. Sounds pretty unorthodox, but great news for you!

Yes, I guess you could say they're unorthodox, but they're great to work with.

Tell us a bit about The Missing Muse itself. What inspired it?

A few things, actually. First off, my mum and dad used to tell some wicked stories when I was little. They really shaped my imaginary world as a kid - all these fighting fairies, and scary vampires, and the muse king, who was like this total bogeyman hiding in the dark waiting to get you. So I guess The Missing Muse is really inspired by those old stories. But none of it actually came together until about five years ago, when all these things happened. Just little things, that meant nothing. Like, I had a dream this superhot guy was fighting vampires in my mum's kitchen, so I totally made him a character. Then I met this friend of my mum's, she was a little weird, but she said something that just made me want to write. And you know, after a few false starts, it really flowed. I mean, sometimes it felt like the story was writing me, you know?

Were your parents happy to see their stories come to life in your work?

Yeah, actually they kind of freaked out. Let's not talk about that.

So what is The Missing Muse about?

It's about two muses lost in a fictional world called Shadow, looking for the rest of their people, who've all disappeared, but all they find is trouble with fairies, vampires, the muse king, you name it.

What can you tell us about your creative process? How do you go about writing?

It's hard to say, really. I sit down, and sometimes I just write for hours and yell at anyone who comes near me until they go away. If they don't go away I throw things or threaten them with my hockey stick. I feel like it's a pretty good system.

That's great to hear! Thanks so much for your time, Krysta, and good luck with the release of The Missing Muse.

 

 

If you would like to find out more about Krysta Ishtar, we have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is she's a fictional character, and The Missing Muse is a fictional book. The good news is, you can follow Krysta's adventures in Shadow Book 3: Shiny Things (coming out very soon) and find out the real story behind the missing muses in Shadow Book 2: Keys and Curses. If you want to start from the beginning, you can get a copy of Shadow Book 1: Bloody Fairies for FREE by signing up for our mailing list right here! Like this blog? Leave a comment and tell us what you think!

 

 

Recipe: Black Lentil Soup

SO a group of surprise guests have arrived in town, and you are required by the laws of hospitality and the muse king's protection racket to do just two things: feed your hungry guests, and sell them out to their enemy. This recipe for black lentil soup will solve both problems. You may wish to begin by contemplating the dark void of eternity, and the possibility of future retribution should the muse king not succeed in keeping your guests in his thrall.

I like to contemplate darkness before I cook.

Black Lentil Soup

Vegetable Stock

1 small tomato, cut into quarters

½ green capsicum/green bell pepper

1 stalk celery

2 carrots

1 onion

mushroom stalks (however many you have)

leek greens

2 garlic cloves

parsley stems

savory or rosemary

bay leaf

black peppercorns

white peppercorns

Contemplating darkness and cooking are both much better to do with friends. I invited my brother Doom and his girlfriend Gloom along.

Chervil (roughly one pinch for flavour, a handful to put your guests to sleep and hand them over to the king. Be sure to use Shadow Chervil only. Chervil sourced from the human world is completely harmless.)

thyme

oil

 

 

 

Placing all ingredients into the stock pot to simmer, including the chervil.

Method:

Roughly chop the vegetables; large pieces are better. Toss the vegetables and garlic in the oil and roast on low heat until well browned, omitting the leek greens. Wrap the herb sprigs in the leek greens and tie with kitchen twine. Add vegetables, herbs and peppercorns to a soup pot or stock pot and cover with water. Bring to a low boil, then reduce to a simmer and let cook for 60 to 90 minutes, or until the stock has the depth of flavor you prefer. Salt to taste. Remove herb bundle and strain.

 

Mushrooms are sacred to we pixies as fellow lovers of darkness. Here Gloom and I perform the traditional blessing of the mushroom before we respectfully butcher it.

 

Doom tending the fire.

Black Lentil Soup

1/2c black lentils

½c black Italian rice (or any short grain rice)

½c cooked wild rice (I used more black rice)

3c vegetable stock

1 small finely chopped carrot

1 small stalk chopped celery

1/2c diced onion

1/2t ground cumin

1 clove of garlic, minced or grated

1 dried or fresh hot chili

2T oil

Dash of cinnamon

Salt and pepper to taste

Garnish

1 small tub (4 to 8oz, usually) Plain/natural yogurt

Coriander leaves

Lemon juice and zest

Diced tomato

Check the lentils (and rice) over for stones/stems/other debris.

Gloom places the rice into the stock pot.

Sauté the vegetables in oil until softened and fragrant.

Add rice and toast (carefully, it will be difficult to see the color change) for a minute or two. Add all the other ingredients at once, except the wild rice. Bring to a low boil and then reduce to a simmer. Cook until the lentils are tender and the rice is cooked, adding additional stock if necessary. Puree the soup, and return to pot. Add the wild rice and gently simmer until the rice is warmed.

In a bowl, mix the yogurt with the minced coriander leaves, and 1t each of the lemon zest and juice. Serve a dollop on each bowl of soup, and sprinkle with the diced tomato. You may wish to arrange the yoghurt in the shape of a skull.

Enjoy your soup.

If you have added the extra chervil, your guests will fall asleep within twenty minutes. Be sure to apologise to them just before they lose consciousness.

 

Would you like to know more about Misery, and how she features in the upcoming third volume of Shadow: Shiny Things? Sign up for the newsletter (the form is at the bottom of this page or leave a comment and tick the little box!) to get all the gossip and be the first to see the cover of Shiny Things!

(Special thanks to Kate Reed for the recipe!)

The Pixies of Shadow

Hello friends! I was very excited to receive an invitation from Misery Duff, clan head of the local pixie tribe, to join her and her friends on a walk in Shock Forest. Now when I say excited, you must temper that emotion with the knowledge that pixies are very hard work. You'll see why. Nevertheless, I could not pass up an opportunity to gain some insight into the enigma that is the Pixies of Shadow.

Let me explain.

Lately the pixies have an unusual attraction to morbid things like skulls and the colour black.

Muse Flower recently joined some pixies on a walk through Shock Forest.

The pixies appeared in Shadow for the first time some eighty or ninety years ago as a ragged band of travellers. They would never speak of whence they came or where they wanted to go, but wandered from place to place, pursued by hostile fairies, their numbers decimated by cold, hunger, misadventure and occasionally vampires. I found them decades later, and gave them an abandoned village to settle near Shadow City. They took this opportunity to build a thriving settlement-only to once again fall on hard times during the troubled years of the Guild's oppressive regime when vampires attacked Pixietown and turned every man, woman and child there.

These rather odd people did not take all that well to vampirism, and began to starve and die, until something even stranger happened: a mysterious man known only as Mort moved into Pixietown and began to turn them back. Don't ask me how, nobody else has ever achieved such a thing.

However, Mort's reversal of the vampire disease had a devastating side effect. Every pixie who underwent the process changed, irrevocably. They started wearing black, moping around, writing angsty poetry and talking about death.

At first we were all very worried, but they remained reclusive, and did not seem to present any threat, so we left them to it. I mean, what is there to do with such a people? All I can really tell you, as I mentioned before, is that they are very hard work.

However, I could not possibly turn down the following invitation:

Unfortunately Misery couldn't make it to the walk, as she had to deal with an emergency on the day. (Apparently a cheery yellow flower popped up in someone's garden and she had to go into damage control before town-wide hysterics set in, bless her little black cotton socks).

Plenty of others came along though! Here's some more pictures from the expedition.

Our little group takes a rest deep in the forest, to recover from the shock discovery of a tree bearing bright orange fruit. I was not allowed to stay long enough to take a picture of the tree!

Long-time sweethearts Doom and Gloom stop to share their sorrow with a leafless, windswept tree.

We paused for reflection on a little island surrounded by a half-dry riverbed. I asked them to smile for this picture.

Gloom and her cousin Hysteria. Hysteria is considered something of a miscreant by the other pixies. It seems she smiled at a rainbow once.

Darkness, Doom and Hysteria stop to enjoy the sunshine.

I hope this has given you some fresh insight into Shadow's enigmatic pixies. Very soon I will introduce you to Misery herself, as she has promised to guest star on this blog with a cooking corner, on the proviso we do not require her to cook anything unless it is black.

Stay tuned!

-Flower of the Great North Island Beyond the Night-Flickered Sea

Goth life in the country: Today in microfiction

IF you drove past my house today, you may have glimpsed a goth balanced halfway up a ladder, wearing rainbow socks, a bright green bellydance skirt and an even brighter orange jumper, wielding a pruning saw as she performed an emergency surgical tree-pruning operation in between gusts of gale force wind, driving rain and hail.

Yes, that was me. I don't have photos, so you can't prove a thing, but I did have reasons: one, the power was out, so I was unable to do legit goth stuff like listen to Rammstein whilst writing angsty fiction. Two, the tree was way too close to a power line. Three, all my black clothes were in the wash.

Anyway, winter well and truly arrived in my little corner of Australia and made her dark and blustery presence felt with gum tree wreckage, a seven hour powercut and enough rain to make even my dark little heart sing while I cleaned up debris, repaired a roof and pruned said tree in my rainbow colours.

I think the season is nicely summed up in this little piece of microfiction penned by myself and Goth Junior on the back of a defunct business card, whilst sheltering from the rain on the front veranda of the local apothecary* earlier in the day. We took turns writing two words each, and this is what came out. (Please note Goth Junior is a gamer. I don't know what some of these things are, but it sounds impressive as hell!)

It reads:

 

I like pink spotted scarred trees that shout Fus-ra-dah! Meanwhile, blue shock waves are coming from its mouth! The ancient dothrahkin is singing like an owl with two fists raised in fiery rage! The end.  

 

 

 

*Some details of this blog may have been embellished for dramatic effect. Not the rainbow socks though.

 

Indie Author Spotlight: KJ Waters

TIME travel, hurricanes and romance - who could resist a combination like that? Indie author KJ Waters time travel series combines all three to such great effect that the latest instalment in the series, Blow, reached bestseller status on Amazon. Grammar Goth spoke to KJ this week about her success - and she has offered to give away five ebook copies to readers of this blog.

If you would like a chance to win a copy of Blow, leave a comment on this blog - we'd love to hear some of your own wild weather stories!

Tell us a bit about yourself.

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Indie author KJ Waters

Thank you so much for having me on your blog Nina. It’s great to be back on here again. I’m a writer, a podcaster and a book cover designer. I love helping other authors out and really enjoy the worlds I’ve created in my books and real life. I’m an entrepreneur at heart and love to try new and innovative ways to reach my goals.

Your debut novel Stealing Time and short story Blow both deal with hurricanes and time travel. What is it about these themes that fascinates you most? Can you tell us a bit about the two stories, and how they relate to each other?

Stealing Time was inspired by actual events in my life. I moved to Florida and three days later Hurricane Charlie hit. That summer we had five major hurricanes hit Central Florida within six weeks. It was a crazy experience, but resulted in the kernel of an idea. I love the time travel series Outlander by Diana Gabaldon so the two merged in my mind.

I’ve always been fascinated by severe weather, starting with the storms that would come in the summer across the lake where my grandparents summered. My dad and I would stay outside as long as possible watching it creep across the water, the lightning flicking across the sky.

All of the stories in the series are connected by the hurricanes that hit Florida that summer. The first book sets out the first time Ronnie is sent back in time and her struggle to return. The short story Blow is with a new character, Rick Harris, who is based on a real guy who survived the storm. In Blow there is a connection to Stealing Time, but it is something I’d like to surprise you with when you read it. I’m hoping to do a follow up story to Blow in between the first and second book that continues with Rick just after the storm and will give more into the giant hint that I’ve thrown in there for the third book in the series.

Your newest release Blow achieved the coveted bestseller status on Amazon, which is an exciting step for any indie author. How did it happen?

Thank you it was quite a surprise to me. I was hoping to get something to reconnect with my audience before I publish my next book. I found out I was in the top 100 about 18 hours after I released it and about fell on the floor. I released it during a Facebook party I was hosting for a friend and hadn’t even had time to tweet it or put it on Facebook, but the hundred or so people at the party must have bought copies and told friends or something. I then started promoting it and got it down to #6 in teen and young adult short story. A dream come true, especially for a short piece I was just wanting to get out there.

I’ve been thinking about what led to the success and I really attribute it to building my author platform. I think being a real person out there and the fact that it was cheap, short, and gritty helped. I started a podcast for authors recently and I think it’s helped a lot to get my name out there.

The second book in your series, Shattering Time, is due out soon - where will you take your characters in this next adventure?

This has been so much fun to write. This time Ronnie is in a whirlwind after coming back from 18th century London and questions everything including her sanity. Hurricane Francis is heading her way and her boyfriend Jeffrey is working on a portable time travel device that he sets up in her house. She tries to leave Florida, but gets caught up in the largest evacuation in US history and Jeffrey keeps her distracted (wink wink) so she doesn’t leave in time to get away before the storm the size of Texas hits.

Jeffrey is having a great time with the device, trying out several different time periods and locations. I don’t want to give it away, but let’s just say Ronnie gets a taste of salt water, sunny beaches, sharks, and the bubonic plague, and maybe gets herself into hot water.

Tell us a bit about your other projects, Blondie's Custom Book Covers and Blondie and the Brit.

Just because I don’t already have enough to do raising kids, working a part time job, and writing I like to add more fun things to my life. In 2013, I started Blondie’s Custom Book Covers with a professional photographer, Jody Smyers. He is amazing in Photoshop and because I wouldn’t have it any other way we have an absolute blast together. You can find out more at www.blondiebooks.com.

Last summer I had the idea to create a podcast with fellow author (and one of my first book cover customers) Suzanne Kelman. She is a Nichols Fellowship semi-finalist (think Oscars for screenplays) and now an international bestselling author. Suzanne and I wanted to be a resource to authors, both traditional and indie published, and provide weekly inspiration, writing and social media advice. We spent three months building the brand before we launched on October 1. Since then we’ve had almost 15,000 downloads and are approached by new authors every day to be on the program. It has been so much fun working with Suzanne and she inspires me daily with her humor, talent, and hard work. Since the podcast started she got picked up by Amazon and is now a traditionally published author. We make a good team covering both sides of the spectrum. You can find out more on our website: www.blondieandbrit.com.

What is the best piece of advice you would give to indie authors?

I have learned so much from interviewing authors on the podcast, in fact every week I learn something new. If I had to boil it down to two things: first, build your platform daily. Your biggest marketing tool is your audience. Go to an author in your genre and follow their followers, add people with similar genres daily, join Facebook and LinkedIn groups. Grow your audience and when you have a book to put out there you will have a way to share it with a lot of people.

Another piece of advice is to stay away from the small presses that will court you. They are preying on new authors that want the confidence boost of being published. I have so many friends that were taken advantage of by the promises of their expertise only to be sadly disappointed at losing control of their work, their covers, their rights to price, and more while giving up some money in the hopes that the publisher will get them more sales. Be really careful about who you trust. In my humble opinion you are better off subcontracting the services for editing, cover design, layout and even marketing than signing your work over to promises without substance.

More ways to connect with KJ

Website: http://www.kjwaters.com http://www.blondieandbrit.com/ http://www.blondiebooks.com/

Twitter: kamajowa

Facebook: www.facebook.com/KJ-Waters

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/profile/view...

Blog: http://kjwatersauthor.blogspot.com

Instagram: @kamajowa

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/kamajowa/

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/photo/autho...

Other Twitter: @BlondieandBrit @Blondiebookcover

KJ Waters is the best-selling author of the time travel series Stealing Time and short story called Blow. The second book in the series, Shattering Time, is in development and is slated to be released in the fall of 2016.

 

The Book of Prophecy

PERHAPS one of the strangest things to ever come out of Bloomin Fairy country is the Book of Prophecy, a hand-drawn book created by Mudface of Pumpkin. Mudface's story itself is strange enough - this fairy, after falling victim to Fetch bite, lay unconscious for a week, lost in a purple carrot crop. When she awoke she is said to have cobbled together clothes made all of black, carved her pumpkin house into the shape of a skull and spent all her time writing poetry. Any and all of these things are considered rather awful by the majority of Bloomin Fairies, but none of them guessed what she was really up to.

Muse: Flower of the Great North Island Beyond the Night-Flickered Sea is Shadow's foremost expert on history and fairy anthropology, as well as ambassador to the world of humans. She first came across the Book of Prophecy while on the run from the authorities.

It was only when the Muse Champion and I arrived in the village of Pumpkin some time later that I discovered what she had really been doing: on each and every page of that book was a prophecy, and enough of them have been proved correct at the time of writing that Mudface's name has become legend in Shadow as the Prophet.

Missing: Mudface of Pumpkin.

Unfortunately, young Mudface remains just one name on a consistently growing list of missing persons, not to mention the Guild's most wanted list, thanks to her book's seditious content with regards to a plot against the life of the king. I will not bring trouble down on my own head just now by reproducing that content, but below is a page of the book you may find of interest. I certainly find it interesting - I am this girl's muse!

-Flower of the Great North Island Beyond the Night-Flickered Sea

 

(Coming soon: Shadow Book 3: Shiny Things. Girl with weird hair included.)

Grammar Goth Editing Tips #2: Dialogue Tags

DIALOGUE tags are tricky beasts. They are necessary to show who is speaking, particularly if you have many characters in a scene, but how to use them? Do you get creative to show your character's vocal volume and tone? Do you add an adverb to show your characters mood? Do you use a bit of extra punctuation for emphasis? Perhaps a combination of all of the above?

A clue: no.

Well, not usually. There are exceptions to every rule, if you do things well.

Let's take a look at some different ways to do dialogue tags. Here's a sentence from my current editing WIP, Shiny Things. Note the dialogue tag is the simplest form: Dave said. This is what you want for the majority of your conversations, because it is invisible to the reader, and does not interrupt the flow of the story.

"We're not," Dave said. "Sticking your fingers in the king's eye is totally forbidden."

Here's some other ways you may or may not be going about doing your dialogue tag:

Use an adverb. DONT GO HERE GRAPHIC

"We're not," Dave said angrily. "Sticking your fingers in the king's eye is totally forbidden."

or

"We're not," Dave said shrewishly. "Sticking your fingers in the king's eye is totally forbidden."

or

"We're not," Dave said sweetly. "Sticking your fingers in the king's eye is totally forbidden."

Adverbs allow you to attribute some characterisation to your dialogue, and tell the reader how the character is saying the word. For the love of all that is Goth, please do not ever, ever, use this kind of tag, unless the survival of the entire universe depends on it, and even then be sure to protest. Adverbs are an easy out-they tell your reader what's going on, sure, but they interrupt the flow, weaken your writing and make your characters one dimensional and kind of boring.

Use a verb other than said/asked. USE WITH CAUTION GRAPHIC

Pro: More creative than using said, allowing you to place a spin on how the character is speaking.

Con: Can be disruptive of the flow of the text.

"We're not," Dave whispered. "Sticking your fingers in the king's eye is totally forbidden."

"We're not," Dave declared. "Sticking your fingers in the king's eye is totally forbidden."

"We're not," Dave moaned. "Sticking your fingers in the king's eye is totally forbidden."