Lydia Howe's Blog, page 49
January 16, 2015
When Life Hands You Lymes - #54
Hello! If everything goes according to plan, I should be in Africa as you read this. What an exciting thought! I hope y'all are having a wonderful day. And now, please sit back and enjoy the 54th segment of my fictional story, When Life Hands You Lymes.
Mom was talking on the phone when I looked in her office, so I quietly sat down behind her, waiting for her to get off. I scrolled through Facebook, looking at all my birthday greetings, feeling loved and cared about. It made me happy that even though I wasn’t hanging out with my friends much any more they hadn’t forgotten about me. “Well, you look bright and chipper.” Mom’s compliment made me smile. Who doesn’t like looking nice on their birthday? “Thanks. I’m starving for that breakfast you mentioned, is your offer still open?” Mom jumped up from her desk and pulled her purse off it’s hook. “Of course. Let’s go. Sherwood’s serves breakfast all day, why don’t we go there?” And that’s how I ended up eating French toast and drinking orange juice at four-thirty on a Friday afternoon. “Do you have anything you’re especially excited about for this year?” Mom asked after we’d been eating for a few minutes. My chewing turned thoughtful as I ponder her question. I had spent about three hours somewhere between midnight and sunrise contemplating the subject and now I just needed to figure out a way to word it. “I’ve enjoyed getting to send extra time on practicing my music this past year. Since I’m not hanging out with friends much it frees up more time to dedicate to the piano and violin. Plus, of course being in the Ashburg Symphony has been really rewarding. I’m hoping to move my music up another notch.” I fall silent, debating if I should mention school or not. After the disaster my life was last year while trying to go to high school, the very word made me break out in a sweat. Shaking the thought away, I gave Mom a smile, determined not to let anything get me down on this special day. “Music.” Mom nodded. “I’ve really seen an improvement in the last couple of months.” That surprised me. “You have?” “Yes. There’s more feeling in it now. When I listen to it I can tell you’re really putting your heart into it more than you ever did before.” Beaming at her kind words, I thought about the many sleepless nights I’d spent in my music room, freeing my emotions from my numbed brain. Sometimes I wondered what I would do, how I would have been able to cope if it weren’t for my music. “Do you know what you want to do with your music yet? Long term?” Mom’s words open a floodgate of words that spill into my mouth, but I hold them back. I’m not sure if I’m ready to share my ideas with anyone yet, not even Mom. On one hand I’m thrilled that she seemingly accepts the idea of me dedicating my life to music instead of Emerson Airlines like the rest of my family, but on the other hand I’m a little nervous that she’ll want me to have a plan set in stone and I don’t have that at all. “I’m still thinking about it,” I finally answer, hoping she’ll not feel like I’m brushing her off. Mom shakes her head, “I still can’t imagine how someone as unmusical as me got the gift of such a talented musician as you. I can’t even keep time while clapping.” I dip a little square of French toast into my maple syrup and swirl it around. “Dad’s kinda musical.” “Kinda is the key word there, my dear.” Mom tilted her head, considering me. “Have you ever thought of trying to write songs?” “It has entered my mind. Why do you ask?” “I was reading an interview recently by a famous song writer and they said that a lot of their best songs are written after they’ve gone through a trying time. I thought of everything you’ve been through and it occurred to me that maybe everything will help you write songs that other people can relate to. People can generally spot a fake from a hundred miles away, and your trials will give your music a realness that will attract others.”
I was quiet during the ride home. I was tired and my conversation with Mom had given me a lot to ponder. “Why don’t you lie down until your friends get here tonight?” Mom suggested. “I thought we would eat right after they got here then we could spend the rest of the evening doing a quiet activity.” Feeling little twinges of excitement about the evening, I went up to my bedroom and promptly fell asleep.
Mom was talking on the phone when I looked in her office, so I quietly sat down behind her, waiting for her to get off. I scrolled through Facebook, looking at all my birthday greetings, feeling loved and cared about. It made me happy that even though I wasn’t hanging out with my friends much any more they hadn’t forgotten about me. “Well, you look bright and chipper.” Mom’s compliment made me smile. Who doesn’t like looking nice on their birthday? “Thanks. I’m starving for that breakfast you mentioned, is your offer still open?” Mom jumped up from her desk and pulled her purse off it’s hook. “Of course. Let’s go. Sherwood’s serves breakfast all day, why don’t we go there?” And that’s how I ended up eating French toast and drinking orange juice at four-thirty on a Friday afternoon. “Do you have anything you’re especially excited about for this year?” Mom asked after we’d been eating for a few minutes. My chewing turned thoughtful as I ponder her question. I had spent about three hours somewhere between midnight and sunrise contemplating the subject and now I just needed to figure out a way to word it. “I’ve enjoyed getting to send extra time on practicing my music this past year. Since I’m not hanging out with friends much it frees up more time to dedicate to the piano and violin. Plus, of course being in the Ashburg Symphony has been really rewarding. I’m hoping to move my music up another notch.” I fall silent, debating if I should mention school or not. After the disaster my life was last year while trying to go to high school, the very word made me break out in a sweat. Shaking the thought away, I gave Mom a smile, determined not to let anything get me down on this special day. “Music.” Mom nodded. “I’ve really seen an improvement in the last couple of months.” That surprised me. “You have?” “Yes. There’s more feeling in it now. When I listen to it I can tell you’re really putting your heart into it more than you ever did before.” Beaming at her kind words, I thought about the many sleepless nights I’d spent in my music room, freeing my emotions from my numbed brain. Sometimes I wondered what I would do, how I would have been able to cope if it weren’t for my music. “Do you know what you want to do with your music yet? Long term?” Mom’s words open a floodgate of words that spill into my mouth, but I hold them back. I’m not sure if I’m ready to share my ideas with anyone yet, not even Mom. On one hand I’m thrilled that she seemingly accepts the idea of me dedicating my life to music instead of Emerson Airlines like the rest of my family, but on the other hand I’m a little nervous that she’ll want me to have a plan set in stone and I don’t have that at all. “I’m still thinking about it,” I finally answer, hoping she’ll not feel like I’m brushing her off. Mom shakes her head, “I still can’t imagine how someone as unmusical as me got the gift of such a talented musician as you. I can’t even keep time while clapping.” I dip a little square of French toast into my maple syrup and swirl it around. “Dad’s kinda musical.” “Kinda is the key word there, my dear.” Mom tilted her head, considering me. “Have you ever thought of trying to write songs?” “It has entered my mind. Why do you ask?” “I was reading an interview recently by a famous song writer and they said that a lot of their best songs are written after they’ve gone through a trying time. I thought of everything you’ve been through and it occurred to me that maybe everything will help you write songs that other people can relate to. People can generally spot a fake from a hundred miles away, and your trials will give your music a realness that will attract others.”
I was quiet during the ride home. I was tired and my conversation with Mom had given me a lot to ponder. “Why don’t you lie down until your friends get here tonight?” Mom suggested. “I thought we would eat right after they got here then we could spend the rest of the evening doing a quiet activity.” Feeling little twinges of excitement about the evening, I went up to my bedroom and promptly fell asleep.
January 15, 2015
Quotes by C.S. Lewis
Today I decided to share some quotes with you by C.S. Lewis. I haven't read many of his books, but his quotes are some of my all-time favorites. Here's a random collection I like:
“Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say infinitely when you mean very; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.”
* * *
“I think that if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him.”
* * *
“The great thing to remember is that though our feelings come and go God's love for us does not.”
* * *
“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
“Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
* * *“The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only - and that is to support the ultimate career. ” * * *
“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”
* * *
“The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.”
* * *
I hope you enjoyed the quotes and I'd be delighted to hear some of the quotes you enjoy.
“Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say infinitely when you mean very; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.”
* * *
“I think that if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him.”
* * *
“The great thing to remember is that though our feelings come and go God's love for us does not.”
* * *
“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
“Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
* * *“The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only - and that is to support the ultimate career. ” * * *
“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”
* * *
“The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.”
* * *
I hope you enjoyed the quotes and I'd be delighted to hear some of the quotes you enjoy.
January 14, 2015
The Gift of Words
I find genuine enjoyment in writing.
My prayer journal is often in use early in the morning as my heart gets transferred to paper in a very vulnerable and scary fashion. Thoughts make more sense, my confusion is at least understandable and my thankfulness takes on an expanding cloak when the words are written down.
Mid morning generally finds me sitting at my computer, pondering over what subject to blog about. I glance at my recent posts, making sure I'm not being too redundant since often I have the same thoughts swirling in my head from day to day.
It's not uncommon for me to pull out my phone and write myself a little note or jot down an email as I'm walking, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry or any other activity that makes up my normal day-to-day existence.
There are some days when I look forward to the evening because I know I can pull out my stationary and fill it with the thoughts that are running around in my head and connect with special friends at the same time. I don't send nearly as much snail-mail as I would like to, but when I do, it's a significant little piece of my life traveling through the postal system.
A lot of my nights are spent staying up way later than necessary because the story line I've been working is finally coming together and I'm finding way too much enjoyment in my writing to stop for a trivial little thing like sleep.
Words hold special meaning to me. I've been told before that asking questions is my hobby. I use words to get to know someone and to let other people get to know me. I use words to understand myself better. I use words to share my ideas with the world. I use words as tools.
Proverbs 18:21 tells us that death and life are in the power of the tongue. I want to make sure I use my words to give life, to build people up and not tear people down. I love the thought of being able to change the way someone views themselves by speaking words of encouragement and truth to them.
Words are a gift and I treasure them.
My prayer journal is often in use early in the morning as my heart gets transferred to paper in a very vulnerable and scary fashion. Thoughts make more sense, my confusion is at least understandable and my thankfulness takes on an expanding cloak when the words are written down.
Mid morning generally finds me sitting at my computer, pondering over what subject to blog about. I glance at my recent posts, making sure I'm not being too redundant since often I have the same thoughts swirling in my head from day to day.
It's not uncommon for me to pull out my phone and write myself a little note or jot down an email as I'm walking, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry or any other activity that makes up my normal day-to-day existence.
There are some days when I look forward to the evening because I know I can pull out my stationary and fill it with the thoughts that are running around in my head and connect with special friends at the same time. I don't send nearly as much snail-mail as I would like to, but when I do, it's a significant little piece of my life traveling through the postal system.
A lot of my nights are spent staying up way later than necessary because the story line I've been working is finally coming together and I'm finding way too much enjoyment in my writing to stop for a trivial little thing like sleep.
Words hold special meaning to me. I've been told before that asking questions is my hobby. I use words to get to know someone and to let other people get to know me. I use words to understand myself better. I use words to share my ideas with the world. I use words as tools.
Proverbs 18:21 tells us that death and life are in the power of the tongue. I want to make sure I use my words to give life, to build people up and not tear people down. I love the thought of being able to change the way someone views themselves by speaking words of encouragement and truth to them.
Words are a gift and I treasure them.
January 13, 2015
The Book Snob - Faulty Premises
Confession time: I'm a book snob.
Rarely do I read a book that doesn't cause me to snort, growl or hide my head in my hands at least once.
Often times even my favorite books make me want to sigh in frustration. My non-favoite books? Sometimes I just have to put the book down and practice my breathing so I don't start howling in pain. Authors can ruin a book with a single scene and seem apt to do that at the most inconvenient times.
Other times the whole plot-line is built on a faulty premise.
Right now my big pet peeve seems to be running rampant in the Contemporary-Christian Adult Fiction genre. It goes something like this:
1. Successful Main Character (MC) is living in the big city and has landed a job in his long-sought-after company and is currently moving up the ladder to his dream job.
2. MC's small town, barely making it, but happy family member (FM) runs into a snag (broken bone, called out of town, new baby, etc...) and MC gets called in to help for a weekend.
3. FM is trying to live their dream (starting a Bed & Breakfast, running a struggling (but cute) book store, or photographing flamingos), yet because of the snag there is no way FM can continue at the present time so MC is pressed to stay longer than the intended weekend. Cue call to MC's boss who isn't exactly happy, but understands.
4. FM has a setback and MC gets viewed as the villain by random shop-keeper, neighbor and FM's friend, for daring to mention that he has a deadline at work he needs to be working on. Cue another call to a much-less understanding boss.
5. MC begins to freak out about his job and everyone eyes him like he's a traitorous jerk because his actual job might be more important to him than the dream FM has that she can't do without MC.
6. MC has a change of heart and decides that ok, his dream job isn't really that great after all and he'll just leave his mean old boss in a lurch and move closer to FM and become the head chef at the B&B, stock the bookshelves at the book store, or be an assistant photographer.
7. And wha-la, the book ends with everyone happy (except the boss, of course).
People. Let's think about this for a moment.
First of all, work isn't everything, but it is an important part of life. When someone has a job, they're supposed to be responsible (shocking!), that means even though helping out a family member is important, it's not a license to throw previous commitments out the window.
Second of all, I think you can find all the other holes in that plot line, so I won't insult your intelligence by continuing to point them out to you.
So there you have it, straight from the mind of a book snob.
What about you? Do you pick books apart when you read them? Or do lame plots, messed up motives and choppy story lines not bother you?
Rarely do I read a book that doesn't cause me to snort, growl or hide my head in my hands at least once.
Often times even my favorite books make me want to sigh in frustration. My non-favoite books? Sometimes I just have to put the book down and practice my breathing so I don't start howling in pain. Authors can ruin a book with a single scene and seem apt to do that at the most inconvenient times.
Other times the whole plot-line is built on a faulty premise.
Right now my big pet peeve seems to be running rampant in the Contemporary-Christian Adult Fiction genre. It goes something like this:
1. Successful Main Character (MC) is living in the big city and has landed a job in his long-sought-after company and is currently moving up the ladder to his dream job.
2. MC's small town, barely making it, but happy family member (FM) runs into a snag (broken bone, called out of town, new baby, etc...) and MC gets called in to help for a weekend.
3. FM is trying to live their dream (starting a Bed & Breakfast, running a struggling (but cute) book store, or photographing flamingos), yet because of the snag there is no way FM can continue at the present time so MC is pressed to stay longer than the intended weekend. Cue call to MC's boss who isn't exactly happy, but understands.
4. FM has a setback and MC gets viewed as the villain by random shop-keeper, neighbor and FM's friend, for daring to mention that he has a deadline at work he needs to be working on. Cue another call to a much-less understanding boss.
5. MC begins to freak out about his job and everyone eyes him like he's a traitorous jerk because his actual job might be more important to him than the dream FM has that she can't do without MC.
6. MC has a change of heart and decides that ok, his dream job isn't really that great after all and he'll just leave his mean old boss in a lurch and move closer to FM and become the head chef at the B&B, stock the bookshelves at the book store, or be an assistant photographer.
7. And wha-la, the book ends with everyone happy (except the boss, of course).
People. Let's think about this for a moment.
First of all, work isn't everything, but it is an important part of life. When someone has a job, they're supposed to be responsible (shocking!), that means even though helping out a family member is important, it's not a license to throw previous commitments out the window.
Second of all, I think you can find all the other holes in that plot line, so I won't insult your intelligence by continuing to point them out to you.
So there you have it, straight from the mind of a book snob.
What about you? Do you pick books apart when you read them? Or do lame plots, messed up motives and choppy story lines not bother you?
January 12, 2015
My 2014 and 2015 Goals
At the beginning of the year I talked about goals and I told y'all I'd share some of my 2014 and 2015 goals and today's the day. Just as a quick recap: To be a good goal it has to be 1) Specific, 2) Measurable, 3) Written down, and 4) Have a deadline.
2014 Year-Long Goals
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I have Where Dandelions Grow all ready to publish {Incomplete, but I did move forward with the book}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I have the second Creation Quest book published {Nope! Didn't get much done on this one at all...}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I have the first Action Kids book published {YES!}
In 2014 if the Lord wills and I live, I read 50 books, at least 22 non-fiction {YES! Way exceeded this goal with over 120 books...}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I have my Action Kids Club up and going {Yes, but not as consistently as I was hoping}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I have someone to do illustrations for the Action Kids Club {YES!}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I am on either TV or radio at least once (for my book stuff) {No...}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I hold at least two book signings {YES!}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I am in a newspaper at least once (For my book stuff) {Nope...}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I make Mommy a blanket {YES!}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I keep up with my platforms on the Internet, but will not become consumed by them {Yes, pretty much.}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I memorize at least 50 Bible verses {Yes}
I had several more personal goals that I did complete and a few that I worked on, but didn't finish. Plus I had my weekly and daily goals that I only missed a couple of them maybe once or twice the whole year.
2015 Year Long Goals: (I also have several I'm not sharing on here.)
Writing: In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I write the second Creation Quest book. Get it edited and start illustrations.
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I write the second Action Kids book. Get it edited and illustrated and self-published.
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I get Where Dandelions Grow completely ready and decide where I’m going to get it published - if I’m going to self-publish it, get the date all set.
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I finish the first draft of When Life Hands You Lymes
Physical:
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I walk at least 250 miles.
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I walk 20 miles in one day.
Business:
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I do 15 book signings.
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I get 10 places to sell my books.
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I’m on the radio, TV or in the newspaper at least once.
Spiritual:
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I memorize 50 verses.
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I read 3 Bible study or devotional books.
Mental:
In 2015, I will read 25 non-fiction books.
Financial:
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I will keep track of all the money I spend until the end of May
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I will create a budget for May through December.
I also have my daily and weekly goals that I'm working on that help me to stay on track to accomplish these goals in 2015. Eventually I'll be working on a time-line that will help me have varying deadlines in 2015 so I can pick which projects to work on first, but I've been so busy I haven't done that yet.
***
What about you? Do you have goals for this year? I'd be delighted to hear them!
2014 Year-Long Goals
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I have Where Dandelions Grow all ready to publish {Incomplete, but I did move forward with the book}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I have the second Creation Quest book published {Nope! Didn't get much done on this one at all...}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I have the first Action Kids book published {YES!}
In 2014 if the Lord wills and I live, I read 50 books, at least 22 non-fiction {YES! Way exceeded this goal with over 120 books...}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I have my Action Kids Club up and going {Yes, but not as consistently as I was hoping}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I have someone to do illustrations for the Action Kids Club {YES!}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I am on either TV or radio at least once (for my book stuff) {No...}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I hold at least two book signings {YES!}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I am in a newspaper at least once (For my book stuff) {Nope...}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I make Mommy a blanket {YES!}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I keep up with my platforms on the Internet, but will not become consumed by them {Yes, pretty much.}
In 2014, if the Lord wills and I live, I memorize at least 50 Bible verses {Yes}
I had several more personal goals that I did complete and a few that I worked on, but didn't finish. Plus I had my weekly and daily goals that I only missed a couple of them maybe once or twice the whole year.
2015 Year Long Goals: (I also have several I'm not sharing on here.)
Writing: In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I write the second Creation Quest book. Get it edited and start illustrations.
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I write the second Action Kids book. Get it edited and illustrated and self-published.
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I get Where Dandelions Grow completely ready and decide where I’m going to get it published - if I’m going to self-publish it, get the date all set.
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I finish the first draft of When Life Hands You Lymes
Physical:
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I walk at least 250 miles.
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I walk 20 miles in one day.
Business:
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I do 15 book signings.
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I get 10 places to sell my books.
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I’m on the radio, TV or in the newspaper at least once.
Spiritual:
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I memorize 50 verses.
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I read 3 Bible study or devotional books.
Mental:
In 2015, I will read 25 non-fiction books.
Financial:
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I will keep track of all the money I spend until the end of May
In 2015, if the Lord wills and I live, I will create a budget for May through December.
I also have my daily and weekly goals that I'm working on that help me to stay on track to accomplish these goals in 2015. Eventually I'll be working on a time-line that will help me have varying deadlines in 2015 so I can pick which projects to work on first, but I've been so busy I haven't done that yet.
***
What about you? Do you have goals for this year? I'd be delighted to hear them!
January 10, 2015
Off to Africa!
After one last walk in the snowy, zero degree cold of winter....
I'm off to Africa!
I'm not sure how much I'll be able to update you from there, but I do have posts scheduled and I'll hopefully have tons of stories, pictures and adventures to share with you when I get home.
I hope y'all have a wonderful couple of weeks... :)
I'm off to Africa!
I'm not sure how much I'll be able to update you from there, but I do have posts scheduled and I'll hopefully have tons of stories, pictures and adventures to share with you when I get home.
I hope y'all have a wonderful couple of weeks... :)
January 9, 2015
When Life Hands You Lymes - #53
Happy Friday, people! Today I'm happy to share with you the 53rd segment of my fictional story,
When Life Hands You Lymes
. I hope you enjoy it and as always, feedback is delightedly welcomed.
Once Dad was gone, I wearily inched my leg over the side of the hammock; it was time for me to head inside for my morning ritual of herbal teas, tinctures and supposedly edible concoctions I could barely gag down. All compliments of the latest specialist we’d visited three weeks ago. The thrice daily regime she had me on sometimes felt like it was going to steal away what little enjoyment I had left in life. I hated it. “Good morning, Madalyn.” Mom’s cheerful greeting welcomed me into my little kitchenette. “Happy birthday.” Mom gave me a lingering hug, then kissed the top of my head. “Looks like I’ll be taller than at least one of my children.” Mom grinned at me. I felt her good mood seeping into my soul. “Just you wait,” I waved a hand at the counter in front of me. “There’s got to be some growth formula mixed in here somewhere.” Mom worked alongside me measuring and mixing until I had everything ready and I could gulp down the awful stuff. “I was wondering, what would you think of going out to breakfast with me?” Mom asked after I finished shivering and gasping. I stopped and considered her offer. Breakfast with Mom, that sounded like fun. It had been a long time since I’d slept last, though, so maybe it wasn’t the best idea. I glanced at my iPhone, I’d been awake for over eighteen hours and even though I was almost too exhausted to function, I couldn’t seem to drift off into dreamland. “Why can’t I sleep, Mom?” Leaving the kitchenette, I sprawled across one of the couches in my sitting room. Mom followed me and perched on the edge of a chair catty-corner to where I was lying. “We’ve been trying to find the reason for that.” Mom’s hands were folded primly in her lap, signaling that she was about to say more. “I know it’s hard for you to be sick, honey. We’ve been doing all we know to do to try and figure out how to help you get better. This sleeplessness sure does...” Mom’s voice trailed off. “Sure does make being me a pain?” I offered. “That’s kind of what I was getting at.” Mom nodded. “I wish I knew what I could do to help you.” “Don’t we all.” I felt my eyes drifting closed, maybe I would actually be able to sleep now. The first rounds of bad insomnia had hit several months earlier. Before that I’d endured nights on and off of being awake until the wee hours of the morning, but never had it happened before that I stayed up an entire 24 hour period just because sleep refused to visit my weary body. My life was soon a confusing mix of 20 hour sleeping stints and then unnaturally long times of being awake. No one knew why and I hated it.
Yawning, I looked around the room. Someone, probably Mom, had thrown a blanket on me and closed my curtains, dimming everything. My mouth stretched open in another yawn as I pulled my phone up and looked at the time. Three-twenty. I’d gotten around seven hours of sleep. That should help perk me up for my birthday party. The word party made me snort. For my fifteenth birthday we had literally invited three hundred people, catered the event and had a suburb time hanging out with organized volleyball, basketball, and baseball games, as well as races, food eating contests and finishing the night off with fireworks. It was the most talked about event of the year at school. Tonight I was having five of my friends over to play a board game or watch a movie after supper. Big, big difference. I ran my hands through my rumbled hair, trying to comprehend all the changes that were taking place in my life. Most of the time I just focused on the moment I was in, blocking out what life had been like before. It was too hard to think of all I had given up and for what? Feeling myself begin to slid into a valley of self-pity, I sat up and punched my hand with my other fist. “Today, Madalyn, is going to be amazing.” I stood up, ignoring the aches that screamed at me and hobbled into the kitchenette to get my second round of disgusting remedies for the day.
Once Dad was gone, I wearily inched my leg over the side of the hammock; it was time for me to head inside for my morning ritual of herbal teas, tinctures and supposedly edible concoctions I could barely gag down. All compliments of the latest specialist we’d visited three weeks ago. The thrice daily regime she had me on sometimes felt like it was going to steal away what little enjoyment I had left in life. I hated it. “Good morning, Madalyn.” Mom’s cheerful greeting welcomed me into my little kitchenette. “Happy birthday.” Mom gave me a lingering hug, then kissed the top of my head. “Looks like I’ll be taller than at least one of my children.” Mom grinned at me. I felt her good mood seeping into my soul. “Just you wait,” I waved a hand at the counter in front of me. “There’s got to be some growth formula mixed in here somewhere.” Mom worked alongside me measuring and mixing until I had everything ready and I could gulp down the awful stuff. “I was wondering, what would you think of going out to breakfast with me?” Mom asked after I finished shivering and gasping. I stopped and considered her offer. Breakfast with Mom, that sounded like fun. It had been a long time since I’d slept last, though, so maybe it wasn’t the best idea. I glanced at my iPhone, I’d been awake for over eighteen hours and even though I was almost too exhausted to function, I couldn’t seem to drift off into dreamland. “Why can’t I sleep, Mom?” Leaving the kitchenette, I sprawled across one of the couches in my sitting room. Mom followed me and perched on the edge of a chair catty-corner to where I was lying. “We’ve been trying to find the reason for that.” Mom’s hands were folded primly in her lap, signaling that she was about to say more. “I know it’s hard for you to be sick, honey. We’ve been doing all we know to do to try and figure out how to help you get better. This sleeplessness sure does...” Mom’s voice trailed off. “Sure does make being me a pain?” I offered. “That’s kind of what I was getting at.” Mom nodded. “I wish I knew what I could do to help you.” “Don’t we all.” I felt my eyes drifting closed, maybe I would actually be able to sleep now. The first rounds of bad insomnia had hit several months earlier. Before that I’d endured nights on and off of being awake until the wee hours of the morning, but never had it happened before that I stayed up an entire 24 hour period just because sleep refused to visit my weary body. My life was soon a confusing mix of 20 hour sleeping stints and then unnaturally long times of being awake. No one knew why and I hated it.
Yawning, I looked around the room. Someone, probably Mom, had thrown a blanket on me and closed my curtains, dimming everything. My mouth stretched open in another yawn as I pulled my phone up and looked at the time. Three-twenty. I’d gotten around seven hours of sleep. That should help perk me up for my birthday party. The word party made me snort. For my fifteenth birthday we had literally invited three hundred people, catered the event and had a suburb time hanging out with organized volleyball, basketball, and baseball games, as well as races, food eating contests and finishing the night off with fireworks. It was the most talked about event of the year at school. Tonight I was having five of my friends over to play a board game or watch a movie after supper. Big, big difference. I ran my hands through my rumbled hair, trying to comprehend all the changes that were taking place in my life. Most of the time I just focused on the moment I was in, blocking out what life had been like before. It was too hard to think of all I had given up and for what? Feeling myself begin to slid into a valley of self-pity, I sat up and punched my hand with my other fist. “Today, Madalyn, is going to be amazing.” I stood up, ignoring the aches that screamed at me and hobbled into the kitchenette to get my second round of disgusting remedies for the day.
January 8, 2015
Abiding
There are so many different directions the post can take this morning that I'm left staring at the wordless page, trying to decide which angle to follow. Do I talk about writing? I really don't feel like it this morning. Do I leave a deep and eloquent thought on here? I just tried to get a drink of water and spilled the water all over my shirt because I totally missed my mouth. I don't think my thoughts are going to turn out very eloquently today. Do I blog about Africa or the snow and minus degree weather we're having here or write a short story or...?
Ok. I decided.
Let's get real. I'm overwhelmed today. I woke up feeling as tired as when I went to sleep and that's not a cool feeling. Lord willing, I'm leaving in two days for a five week trip and even though I know I'll be able to buckle down and get everything done before then, it doesn't feel like it at this moment.
My to-do list seems to be taunting me How's that for some fancy anthropomorphizing? and I really want to go on a brisk walk to clear my brain waves and focus my energy. The minus degree weather and lack of time take away from the allure of that scheme, though.
Today I'm working on abiding and trusting instead of freaking out and being stressed. I'm thankful I didn't get graded on the first couple hours of the day because I would have totally flunked. I've been learning that life isn't all about having things go perfectly my way. Life isn't about accomplishing everything I want to. Life isn't even about being flexible or unstressed. Life isn't about always handling situations the correct way.
Life is a process. Life is a gift we've been given from God. My purpose in life is to bring glory to God and to love Him with all my heart. That is what I'm here for.
I forgot that this morning. I'm actually having a hard time remembering that even now as I'm writing this post. It's so much easier to focus on the things I can see. The list I can cross off, the suitcase I'll be lugging through the airport, the laundry piled up that needs taken care of.
All those things are important, yes, but they're temporary. They'll be gone one day, forgotten in the conglomeration of life. My attitudes though, they can have a lasting impact. When I snap at my little sister, it not only effects me, but it also effects her and creates a chain reaction that can hurt others, too. When I take the time to love my little cousin and help him out, that can create a chain reaction, too.
I'm busy, yes. I'm overwhelmed, yes. I really wish I could just go take a nap right now and forget about my list. But none of those things are good reasons to let my attitude turn stinky. God is still God and He's still in charge. And with God in charge, what reason to I have to freak out? No, no, that's not a question I actually need you to answer!
What I'm listening to: This and this.
* * * What about you? What do you have going on today?
Ok. I decided.
Let's get real. I'm overwhelmed today. I woke up feeling as tired as when I went to sleep and that's not a cool feeling. Lord willing, I'm leaving in two days for a five week trip and even though I know I'll be able to buckle down and get everything done before then, it doesn't feel like it at this moment.
My to-do list seems to be taunting me How's that for some fancy anthropomorphizing? and I really want to go on a brisk walk to clear my brain waves and focus my energy. The minus degree weather and lack of time take away from the allure of that scheme, though.
Today I'm working on abiding and trusting instead of freaking out and being stressed. I'm thankful I didn't get graded on the first couple hours of the day because I would have totally flunked. I've been learning that life isn't all about having things go perfectly my way. Life isn't about accomplishing everything I want to. Life isn't even about being flexible or unstressed. Life isn't about always handling situations the correct way.
Life is a process. Life is a gift we've been given from God. My purpose in life is to bring glory to God and to love Him with all my heart. That is what I'm here for.
I forgot that this morning. I'm actually having a hard time remembering that even now as I'm writing this post. It's so much easier to focus on the things I can see. The list I can cross off, the suitcase I'll be lugging through the airport, the laundry piled up that needs taken care of.
All those things are important, yes, but they're temporary. They'll be gone one day, forgotten in the conglomeration of life. My attitudes though, they can have a lasting impact. When I snap at my little sister, it not only effects me, but it also effects her and creates a chain reaction that can hurt others, too. When I take the time to love my little cousin and help him out, that can create a chain reaction, too.
I'm busy, yes. I'm overwhelmed, yes. I really wish I could just go take a nap right now and forget about my list. But none of those things are good reasons to let my attitude turn stinky. God is still God and He's still in charge. And with God in charge, what reason to I have to freak out? No, no, that's not a question I actually need you to answer!
What I'm listening to: This and this.
* * * What about you? What do you have going on today?
January 7, 2015
The Balanced Writer... Or Not
Hello from a lovely snowing Wednesday morning! Yesterday we got our first good snow of the season and it's been delightfully received by the young inhabitants where I live. It's crazy how sometimes the weather changes. We'll go for weeks with no snow and then boom, we wake up to find several inches on the ground and more falling.
That's kinda how it is with story ideas.
I'll endure days, weeks, sometimes months of no inspiration when it comes to my writing. I'll have to struggle through each day, trying to get words to show up on my paper, knowing that I'll probably end up deleting them later on, and then boom. One day I sit down to write and I can barely keep up with all the thoughts tumbling through my fingers and onto my page.
So, what's the secret to being a balanced writer?
Sadly, I haven't found the answer to that question yet. I do have some tips though for what I do to at least keep a semblance of a routine in my writing life and maybe I'll eventually be able to trick myself into always having the inspiration I need.
#1. I write on my story every day. Some days when I'm extra busy or don't feel a single shred of inspiration I just write a hundred or so words; but I always write at least a hundred words on my story.
#2. I take a walk if I can't think of anything to write. Often times by the time I get back home I'll feel rejuvenated enough to make some words appear on the page. I also hope this works in kinda the same way as Pavlov's dogs and eventually I'll automatically write several thousand words each time I get home from walking.
#3. When I'm overcome with an avalanche of ideas, I write them down so I can use them later on when I'm going through one of my dry times. Actually, this isn't something I'm actively doing at this time in my life (which isn't good), but I've done it in the past and it works. I need to get back to it.
#4. When I do find inspiration after a dry spell, I try and Set aside everything else for a little while so I can focus on my writing. This doesn't always happen, but it's worth a try.
What about you? Are you enjoying the snow? Can you relate to having dry spells and then blizzards that seemingly spring out of nowhere? How do you find balance?
January 6, 2015
Writing Projects: None
It was almost midnight last night when I got my book, Where Dandelions Grow, sent off to my editor for his final round of editing. It was a really good feeling to finally hit the send button. Now I have another project I can check off my list.
Other than working on setting up a few book signings, scheduling some more blog posts for when I'm in Africa, and of course writing my 100 words each day, I'm putting aside my writing work until we get back from Africa.
I'm not planning on taking my computer on the two week trip, which is crazy for me. The last time I went that long without having my own computer with me was when I went to South America for two months when I was eighteen and my computer broke. I itched so badly to type a story that I sometimes pulled my broken computer out of the drawer and typed away on the dead keys.
My brain functions through my fingers. Thoughts that I can't quite find a script for in the swirling storm of words inside my head make perfect sense when they flow through my fingers, ending up as little black marks on a computer screen. My second best avenue for releasing feelings and reflections is through writing by hand, so hopefully I'll return home with a beautifully filled up journal. When I was in South America with the broken computer, I filled up two journals.
I keep wanting to work on scheduling and planning my next writing project, but I'm refusing to let myself for two reasons: 1) I really do not have the time to work on it before Africa and 2) If I start something now, it will be hard for me to set it aside when I'm gone and I want to be fully engaged with serving and experiencing as much as I can while gone.
Besides, I can't wait to see what story ideas drop into my brain and lodge themselves deep within my mind while partaking in whatever adventures Ghana holds for me. I'm hoping if my head is mysteriously empty of any brewing story idea Ha! That will never happen..., new ideas will be more plentiful.
* * *
What about you? Do you ever make yourself take breaks from something you really like and need to do so you can focus on other things?
Other than working on setting up a few book signings, scheduling some more blog posts for when I'm in Africa, and of course writing my 100 words each day, I'm putting aside my writing work until we get back from Africa.
I'm not planning on taking my computer on the two week trip, which is crazy for me. The last time I went that long without having my own computer with me was when I went to South America for two months when I was eighteen and my computer broke. I itched so badly to type a story that I sometimes pulled my broken computer out of the drawer and typed away on the dead keys.
My brain functions through my fingers. Thoughts that I can't quite find a script for in the swirling storm of words inside my head make perfect sense when they flow through my fingers, ending up as little black marks on a computer screen. My second best avenue for releasing feelings and reflections is through writing by hand, so hopefully I'll return home with a beautifully filled up journal. When I was in South America with the broken computer, I filled up two journals.
I keep wanting to work on scheduling and planning my next writing project, but I'm refusing to let myself for two reasons: 1) I really do not have the time to work on it before Africa and 2) If I start something now, it will be hard for me to set it aside when I'm gone and I want to be fully engaged with serving and experiencing as much as I can while gone.
Besides, I can't wait to see what story ideas drop into my brain and lodge themselves deep within my mind while partaking in whatever adventures Ghana holds for me. I'm hoping if my head is mysteriously empty of any brewing story idea Ha! That will never happen..., new ideas will be more plentiful.
* * *
What about you? Do you ever make yourself take breaks from something you really like and need to do so you can focus on other things?
