Tyler Yoder's Blog, page 27

Poetic Interlude XLVI

This poem, and others like it, are available in  Patchwork Narrative, my slim volume of poetry, available here and here. Enjoy!

Champagne, Silk, Steel
My cufflinks clink against the glass
Filled with gas-station champagne.
It’s Californian, and regrettably cheap.
 
You asked to come by, tonight.
I knew what I must do, how
I must comport myself.
 
There is a rhythm to these things;
And you know how I like to
Observe the proprieties.
 
I knew, when you asked to come,
I’d cast you aside, a ring into the sea.
I’d be wed to the loss of you,
Wake up with your lack each morning.
 
You, of course, didn’t react.
 
I, of course, will never move on -
I shall dwell in a memory of something that never happened,
Wearing a suit bought for our unplanned wedding,
Praising you, to a congregation of cats,
A sad person, in silk, and champagne.
 
I drain each bottle, glass by glass,
And, from out the East, drain sun after sun.
Song after song enters the star that was my soul,
And, for love of you,
I go nova.
 
I can’t, for the life of me, tell
If the tears or the champagne are staining the silk.
I can’t, for the life of me, tell
If it’s my love for you, or the lack of you,
That gently lifts me to a cabinet of pistols -
 
-to view them, of course.
The ammunition’s in quite another room, my sweet.
 
Regardless, when I think of you,
I remember champagne on silk,
And the taste of blued steel.
 
 
There are times, my love, when I wonder,
If I had never met you, how young I would have died,
And if you had never met me, how
You would have ever survived.
 
The pregnant moon has come and gone, now.
She came, yawned once, and returned to her bed.
I must make do
With the friendship of the fountain,
Tinkling at dawn.
I can learn from her;
She always cries.
 
I grow weary of mourning, each morning,
But what else is to be done?
Even if things had gone according to plan,
I never would have been your bride.
What use is my story?
There are nine billion beside -

©2014 by Tyler J. Yoder. All rights reserved

Tagged: Despair, Divorce, LGBT Breakup Poems, Poetic Interludes, Poetry, Separation, Tyler J. Yoder

Post the Twenty-Fourth: My Gothic Valentine

What’s this, Gentle Reader? Not only are you home, on the computer, on a Friday – but on Valentine’s Day itself, the high-holy of all Hallmark holidays? Don’t fret, sweetie – I’ll be your date. There’s just one thing – since I was sixteen or so, I’ve had this little Valentine Tradition – I like to slap on a bit of makeup, dress in special clothes, and go out, just like any one else.

I just happen to have a slightly different take on it – that’s all.

When I was young, the angry black eyeliner and awful fishnet were in earnest; I was both angry and sad about being single, about being unlucky in love, about all sorts of things – I was young. And I liked the Goth aesthetic, anyway. It really didn’t take much for me to begin this as my anti-Valentine protest, and to stick it to those saccharine love-stricken straight couples all around me.

Then I got a little older, fell in love myself, and realized that while Valentine’s Day isn’t the greatest and is totally based on sales-figures, it isn’t actually an attack on anyone. It isn’t actually Society demanding that you validate your self-worth based on your romantic attachments. It can feel that way, but no one is demanding that you celebrate. Well, apart from all the commercials and your relatives asking if you’re seeing anyone – and, if you are, asking when you’re going to marry – and probably that certain someone you’re seeing expects a gesture of some sort. Fuck.

Fuck.

At any rate, even though I waffle back and forth on the holiday itself, dressing in Goth attire is tradition for me now, whether or not I feel it’s a bit silly. I have classed it up a little since those early days – fishnet was never my friend – and I’m more likely to sport something a little more like this:

I’m more likely to dine out, quietly by myself, and then spend the evening in, than to be in a loud and aggressively disdainful group. I might go to a single’s mixer, or a gallery opening, or some other affair, behaving with grace and self-respect, rather than bemoaning a lack of companionship or other people’s ideas of my self-worth.

It’s important to remember that there are many kinds of love, Gentle Reader, and that it’s important to love yourself, as well. In fact, it’s so important, that I rescind my offer – I’m not going to be your date, tonight. Go date yourself.

[image error]

So the eyeliner and lipstick are washed out, but yeah. This is the reverend doctor at seventeen, in his “alluring” pose. You’re welcome.

Tagged: Anti-Valentine, Dating, Goth, Relationships, Singledom, Valentines Day

My Gothic Valentine

What’s this, Gentle Reader? Not only are you home, on the computer, on a Friday – but on Valentine’s Day itself, the high-holy of all Hallmark holidays? Don’t fret, sweetie – I’ll be your date. There’s just one thing – since I was sixteen or so, I’ve had this little Valentine Tradition – I like to slap on a bit of makeup, dress in special clothes, and go out, just like any one else.

I just happen to have a slightly different take on it – that’s all.

When I was young, the angry black eyeliner and awful fishnet were in earnest; I was both angry and sad about being single, about being unlucky in love, about all sorts of things – I was young. And I liked the Goth aesthetic, anyway. It really didn’t take much for me to begin this as my anti-Valentine protest, and to stick it to those saccharine love-stricken straight couples all around me.

Then I got a little older, fell in love myself, and realized that while Valentine’s Day isn’t the greatest and is totally based on sales-figures, it isn’t actually an attack on anyone. It isn’t actually Society demanding that you validate your self-worth based on your romantic attachments. It can feel that way, but no one is demanding that you celebrate. Well, apart from all the commercials and your relatives asking if you’re seeing anyone – and, if you are, asking when you’re going to marry – and probably that certain someone you’re seeing expects a gesture of some sort. Fuck.

Fuck.

At any rate, even though I waffle back and forth on the holiday itself, dressing in Goth attire is tradition for me now, whether or not I feel it’s a bit silly. I have classed it up a little since those early days – fishnet was never my friend – and I’m more likely to sport something a little more like this:

I’m more likely to dine out, quietly by myself, and then spend the evening in, than to be in a loud and aggressively disdainful group. I might go to a single’s mixer, or a gallery opening, or some other affair, behaving with grace and self-respect, rather than bemoaning a lack of companionship or other people’s ideas of my self-worth.

It’s important to remember that there are many kinds of love, Gentle Reader, and that it’s important to love yourself, as well. In fact, it’s so important, that I rescind my offer – I’m not going to be your date, tonight. Go date yourself.

[image error]

So the eyeliner and lipstick are washed out, but yeah. This is the reverend doctor at seventeen, in his “alluring” pose. You’re welcome.

Tagged: Anti-Valentine, Dating, Goth, Relationships, Singledom, Valentines Day

New Music, Part Three

New Music, Part Three.

New Music, Part Three

This week’s installment of “New Music” is coming early, because I have a very special surprise in store for Valentine’s Day, Gentle Reader. At any rate, if you don’t know by now, I am on a quest to discover 25 bands or musicians that I’ve never heard of in 2014. Because of the damned list. Here’s your third installment, Gentle Reader – five groups and my thoughts on them. Thank you to those who commented with new groups the last few weeks! If you have any musical suggestions for me, I’m wide open! Leave a link in the comments. Part One can be found here, and Part Two is over here.

The Task: Discover 25 bands etc., like I said above.

The Execution:

11. Broken Bells

At this point, I’ve been straight-up just asking people for music. This comes from Young Nate, the little brother of a dear friend who, against all odds, grew up pretty well. I happened to ask him for music on the same day that Broken Bells released a new album, and he was in love. So. The music is pretty decent, if a little melancholy – but there’s a song about ghosts and this video – oh, my stars. Go watch it.

12. Valley Lodge

Miss K contributed this band in the comments of the first New Music post! Generally, I like her taste – although not always; I don’t care for Sneaker Pimps, for example. This wasn’t a bad song, and I enjoyed it – and the video – but I probably wouldn’t go out of my way to listen to it.

13. Cocorosie

Auntie Trin provided a whole stack of artists to investigate, and quite a few of them are favorites of mine – like Max Raabe, Madeline Peyroux, and Gogol Bordello – so I knew I was in good hands. The first one I listened to was Lemonade by CocoRosie, and I enjoyed both modern and traditional elements in it. Also, a lot of the vocals reminded me of Miss Li a bit – plus the video itself drew me in right away. Dual Havishams? Yes, please.

14. The Associates

I was going to hold off on the rest of the groups from Auntie Trin until the next installment of this series, but there is something so amazing and sparkly and ever so eighties about this song that I just couldn’t wait. I’m not sure if the spelling of the lyrics is quite accurate, but whatever. Close your eyes and listen. This is pretty ace.

15. Darude

Then, having fallen in love with the song above, I shared it on Facebook – well, once people heard that I was looking for new music, suggestions came pouring in. I really dug this one. Definitely not my usual style of music, definitely pushing boundaries, but I really enjoyed it.

The Verdict:

Well, obviously this item isn’t done yet – not by a long shot – but it’s going really well. I am loving the hell out of this. It wins SO many points. Expanding tastes and interests always does, though, doesn’t it?

Do you have music that I should be listening to? Bands that I should be aware of? A favorite song by one of these artists? Let me know!

Tagged: Artists, Bands, Exploring Musical Tastes, New Music, The List

Post the Twenty-Third: Valentines

Gentle Reader, I’ve found a number of enchanting Valentine’s Day cards around the Internet over the last few days, so here are ten I made just for you. Please enjoy these (probably) printable Valentine delights. Enjoy!

If it isn’t clear, we’re talking about diseases.

Oh. Suddenly this isn’t funny anymore.

Tagged: Humor, Humorous Valentines, Love, Passive-agressive Valentine's Cards, QUILTBAG, Romance, Valentines Day

Valentines

Gentle Reader, I’ve found a number of enchanting Valentine’s Day cards around the Internet over the last few days, so here are ten I made just for you. Please enjoy these (probably) printable Valentine delights. Enjoy!

If it isn’t clear, we’re talking about diseases.

Oh. Suddenly this isn’t funny anymore.

Tagged: Humor, Humorous Valentines, Love, Passive-agressive Valentine's Cards, QUILTBAG, Romance, Valentines Day

Poetic Interlude XLV

This poem, Gentle Reader, and others like it are available in  Patchwork Narrative, my slim volume of poetry, available here and here. Enjoy!

 
Inferno
The stars explode with wonderment
More clear than any saw,
For new-born to the Firmament,
A freshly broken law,
Awaiting Pentecost’s descent:
Collapses, filled with awe.
 
A fiery blaze arises, then,
A benefacting sight;
Awaking in the world of men
A boy born into night.
Praising Sol’s exuberance,
Devours, white-hot, the light.
 
With a jolt, the fresh-woke lad
Recoils without sound;
Recalls the comfort shadows had,
The night-time’s coal-dust crown,
But when he has recoveréd,
The firelight’s died down.

 

©2014 by Tyler J. Yoder. All rights reserved

Tagged: First Love, LGBT Love Poems, Poetic Interludes, Poetry, Tyler J. Yoder

New music, Part Two

In accordance with the Almighty List, I am on a quest to discover 25 bands or musicians that I’ve never heard of in 2014. Here’s your second installment, Gentle Reader – five groups and my thoughts on them. Thank you to those who commented with new groups this week! They will be appearing in the next three parts of this series (this one was already scheduled.) If you have any musical suggestions for me, I’m wide open! Leave a link in the comments. Part One can be found here.

The Task: Discover 25 bands etc., like I said above.

The Execution:

6. Tic Tic Boom

We’ll start with a band that’s just starting to take off, Tic Tic Boom. My friend and frequent commenter, Bernie, turned me on to them – their guitarist used to be the drummer for a band they were both in. Awesome! Anyway, here’s them playing in a van, with a song that really appealed to me.

7. Laura Mvula

Similarly, Amber commented with this song and I instantly fell in love. There are no other words, and I’m floored, and if you only listen to one song on this list, it has to be this one. This woman is an angel.

8. My Gay Banjo

So there I was, minding my own business, reading my morning queer news on the Huffington Post – when to my surprise, they had a story about a gay country music duo. As a secret country music fan, and after the success of Steve Grand’s All-American Boy last year, I had high hopes for queer country music, and I was not disappointed by Country Boys In The City, by My Gay Banjo.

9. Ron Sexsmith

Oh, there was some gossip afoot that day – Ms. Capere and I were going up to Seattle, straight to the source, to try and determine if we should be worried about a good friend. On the drive up, I happened to mention this very project, and she gave me Ron Sexsmith right off the bat. As for the gossip – well, loose lips and all that, n’est-ce pas?

10. Frank Ocean

Okay, so I’d actually heard of this fella before – I read Gay Voices over on HuffPo all the time, and when Frank Ocean came out as a gay in the hip-hop community, it was sort of a big deal. Of course, I had never heard his music, because I’m not really into hip-hop.

However. However.

There was some controversy over on my Facebook page when I posted a link (ostensibly) about Macklemore. And someone posted in that long, bitter thread about Frank Ocean, reminding me of his existence. So I went and checked out some of his music. And?

I now have a hip-hop/R&B artist that I enjoy.

The Verdict:

Well, obviously this item isn’t done yet – not by a long shot – but it’s going really well. I am loving the hell out of this. It wins SO many points. Expanding tastes and interests always does, though, doesn’t it?

Do you have music that I should be listening to? Bands that I should be aware of? A favorite song by one of these artists? Let me know!

Tagged: Artists, Bands, Exploring Musical Tastes, New Music, The List

Post the Twenty-Second: Anchorage, Part Two

We had headed back to our glamorous hotel suite for a cocktail, Gentle Reader, when I left you. As you may remember from Anchorage, Part One, we had been scouring downtown for the gay bars that I was sure were there, in pursuit of dinner, drinks, and dancing – but we’d been thwarted. After our refreshments, then, we turned to the same fickle Internet that had evidently misled us earlier.

My beau, Mr. Temple, hired a taxi and we were off. When we arrived at the Kodiak – the first on our list – the doors were boarded up.

The driver seemed leery of letting us off there – but we knew that our backup destination was only a block away. First, we needed to find a place to eat.

We had a lovely dinner at the nearby Jade Steak and Seafood. The decor was lovely, the lighting low, the atmosphere upscale and quiet. Over dinner, it suddenly seemed that we were the only people in the joint who weren’t English. Since we’d been searching for the British Consulate for much of the day, it came as quite a surprise.

Passing a gay community center, we found Mad Myrna’s, the most popular gay bar in Anchorage – and, judging by the lack of options in its largest city – perhaps the most popular gay bar in all of Alaska.

Myrna herself, apparently

We approached the blond, buff bartender clad in tie-dye and shorts. He was awfully butch – maybe even straight – and very friendly. When I embarrassed Mr. Temple by informing Bartender “that he’d been living in Anchorage for 8 months and hasn’t even seen another gay person” he gave us some decent info on the local gay underground. The truth is, there isn’t much – quelle surprise – but Myrna’s boasts dancing, drag shows, and other events. It’s pretty Alaskan there – rough wood walls, unfinished stone accents – a sort of viking feast hall crossed with an old-time saloon.

Our ears pricked up at the mention of dancing, but alas, the dance floor was closed that evening. Instead, we perched on our stools – Mr. Temple with his vodka cran, me with my gin and lime – and perused the locals. We debated hitting the other gay bar in town – well, the other one that was probably still open, the Raven – but Temple had heard that it was pretty solidly a kink bar. Dressed as we were – pretty posh for a night on the town – we thought we’d better give it a miss.

And I think I’ll leave you there, Gentle Reader, with the rest of the trip our own. My thoughts on Anchorage? Parts of it are like any other city, parts of it are run-down and residential, and parts of that northern vastness speak to their frontier past, but all in all? Anchorage has a rugged beauty that’s well worth seeing.

Tagged: Alaska, Anchorage, Date Night, Gay Bars Far And Wide, Local Flavor, New Experiences, Rambling Cities, Travel