Amanda A. Allen's Blog, page 9

Review: MASH: A Novel About Three Army Doctors

Dudes.

Dude.

Duuuuuuude.

This book pulls the dude right out of you without ever using the word.  Disclaimer: I never watched the show except here and there when my dad wouldn’t let me watch My Little Pony or whatever.  Right now, I’m tempted to drop a $100+ to watch the series after this book.  This book was hilariously, effing perfect. By perfect, I mean, I LOVED it.  It was the Korean War meets Psych meets ?!?!?! Did they just dress up as Jesus and sell pictures while hanging the poor dude from a helicopter?  ??!??!???!!

They did!  They did!  Shut the hell up!  They did!

Bwahahahahahahaha!

I can only imagine for actual veterans to read a story about a couple of buddies who tortured the Army while still saving lives was perfect.  It would be the best escape fiction for the enlisted ever.

Recommended?  For the love of dudes everywhere, YES!

~Amanda

Updates…

So…

Life just keeps happening.  You know what I mean?  I intended to have published Snow White, Rose Red by  now.  I intended to have gotten a handle on several other stories including the sequel to These Lying Eyes –it’s currently titled This Betraying Flesh.  I intended to make the tots clothes fit into their dressers.

But lets be real.  I’ve never, ever, accomplished all of my New Year’s Goals or my intendeds or whatever.

Never.

That being said.

I’m not done trying yet.

The part of my life that is foster parenting is going, going, going.  I’ve added the tots’ little sister to my house which means I have house 3 kids, 2 dogs, and 1 Amanda.  The newest tot, whom I’m calling the Lamb, is adorable and sweet.  And really…what more is there to say other than I’m back to being stupidly tired.

My mumma and I took the tots to the beach.  

She’s silly.

She’s also my best friend.  She’s come to help me with the tots for a little bit while we get a handle on our new routine.*

Anyhoo…Snow White, Rose Red is coming.  It’ll be followed by Song of Heartbreak and This Betraying Flesh.  Both of those are sequels to my currently published stories.

I’ve also got some short stories in progress based off of a dream I had.  These will probably be the next thing you see because short stories are soooooo much easier to edit than novels.  They’re a sort of loving recognition of Scooby Doo. Me and the boy watch a lot of Scooby Doo.  His favorites are Riki Tiki Scooby and Loch Ness.  I like the alien one.  Spoiler alert: we’re totally getting Scooby action figures for the upcoming birthday.  I might be more excited for me to play with him than he’ll be to get them.  I anticipate finding real monsters, vampires, good zombies (this is a thing in the boy’s head) and a bad case of monster foot for Fred.  (Monster foot happens when you get an owie on your foot.  It turns into a monster foot with fur and big claws and you walk with a limp.  So says the boy.)

Also, I’ll be trying to keep up on this blog more.  Don’t hold your breath, but coming soon is my top 5 books of 2014 (so far).  And a review of The Discovery of Witches and MASH.  (Spoiler Alert:  MASH was effing fantastic.)

~Amanda

*We went to Bruce’s Candy Kitchen and Bella Espresso at Cannon Beach.  I honestly can’t remember if those scenes got cut from These Lying Eyes, but they were (at one time) featured in Mina’s story.  I might have spent a stupid amount of money on candy, gotten the mum and the boy hot chocolates and then kicked myself later for not getting me one.  Sigh.  Woe.  Best. Hot. Chocolate. EVER.  And I could write odes to Bruce’s Candy Kitchen.

You know what’s bull crap?

Raising children.  Giving them summers.

Every year, the weather turns wonderful, and you’re a kid, and you have no responsibilites except maybe cleaning the bathroom or not elbowing your brother in the face, and you can curl up with a lovely book.  Like this one:

 

 

And then you get old.  Where horrible things like jobs happen.  And the weather turns lovely, and your body says it’s time to sleep in, stay up late, curl up with a book, and lay around 21 hours a day.  But your alarm still goes off at 4:45 and your job still continues.  And it’s just all BULL CRAP.

Anyhow…to help you get over the horror of it.  Go ahead and curl up with my book anyway.  You can buy it here.

~Amanda

A Public Service Announcement

How to tell if your online boyfriend is a Nigerian Criminal.

If case you’re unaware–there’s this whole version of frauding people which goes like so:

1.  You meet someone online.

2.  They’re far away.  Liverpool anyone?  But they have a *good* reason to be far away.  Dealing with a funeral.  Serving in the army.  Etc.

They love you.  They need you.  They can’t wait to be with you.  They just need you to deposit this check for them because their account is effed and then they’ll buy plane tickets or whatever and come home only to you baby.  Only you.

Here are 10 ways to tell if your online lover is Nigerian.

10.  They speak broken English.

9.  Perhaps they know you through some obscure, unverifiable way.

8.  You google image their picture and realize you’re dating Hugh Howey.  Or that dude who played Jesus in Passion of the Christ.

7.  They are far too good looking for you.  I don’t mean to be cruel here–but honestly…  You know if they are too handsome for you.  You know that you do.

6.  They’re currently expecting quite an increase in wealth.  Are they mining gold bullion?  Are they getting funds from their dead fiance?  Are they selling a business?  I don’t care.  Whatever it is–it’s a lie.

5.  They’re in the army.  And they need you to buy their tickets home.  (BTWs, for those of you unaware, the U.S. Military actually brings their own soldiers home.  No need for 3rd parties.  Amen.)

4.  Their friend/ brother/ former room mate broke into their account and they had to close it.  While, gasp, they are overseas.

3.  They love you so, so, so much.  Even though they’ve never met you in person.

2.  They need your help with this one little piece of banking.

1.  It includes a deposit which will need to just be *real quick* Western Union-ed, Money Gram-ed, and/or Wired to them.

If these things are true for you and your online lover, your online lover is a Nigerian/ Malaysian criminal. And sending that money is called money laundering.

Which is, btws, a crime.

That’s right.  I said a crime.

You’re welcome.

~Amanda

 

This is how it all went down. . . and cover reveal.

Perhaps you may have noticed that Song of Sorrow (my novella that is a prequel to Rapunzel) was published on Friday.  Here’s the cover, because I love it. Luuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeee it, if you will.

 

When I was on vacation at the end of November, I decided to cram in a round of NaNo.  That’s right, I wrote 50k words in 10 days.  The reason behind this madness was that I was struggling with the sequel to These Lying Eyes.

Whenever, I got stuck on This Betraying Flesh I went ahead and worked on something else.  Meaning during those days I wrote much of This Betraying Flesh, a novella about a carnival, and the beginning of a fairy tale.  Not, however, Song of Sorrow.  So….

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So……..

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So…….what that means, my friends, is that Snow White, Rose Red is coming soon.  Likely in May.  (Tee hee)  It’s set in the same world as Song of Sorrow, has more of the Shadow Kin, and you get to meet the Witch Queen Marana.  Oh, and I love it’s cover.  Did you want to see it?  Did you?  Did you?

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I love it.  I hope you do too.  If you’re interested, you can buy my other books here:

These Lying Eyes

and

Song of Sorrow

~Amanda

It’s here, it’s here, it’s here!!!

What’s that you say?  Your new book is here?

Yes!  That’s exactly where it is–here in the digital life--where you can download it easy-peasy over at amazon.com.

So what’s this all about, you ask?

It’s a fairy tale story.  If fact, it’s the story of Rapunzel’s parents, Fallow and Adin.

Once upon a time, when I was a lonely tot in middle school (having just moved), my new best friends became Harimad-Sol and Aerin and Alanna.  It was through reading The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley that I discovered, Beauty: A Retelling of the Story Beauty and the Beast.  That was, I think, my first fairy tale rewrite.  Once I started imagining a life as a writer, I knew I wanted to write fairy tales.  Not only fairy tales–but definitely some.  I wanted to do a Beauty and the Beast for sure.  Just like Robin McKinley.  (In fact, I have done a Beauty and the Beast.  It’s coming soon, too.)  

Snow White is my favorite as an adult (thank you Fables!)  So, that’s where I started.  Just randomly, I wrote Snow White on a page–and then a story poured out.  Easy, fun, and a joy to write.  The story of Rapunzel’s parents was just as fun.

I still read fairy tale rewrites often.  It doesn’t matter that Gail Carson Levine writes for children; I own every one of her books, and Ella Enchanted is magnificent.

In fact, the story that was clearest in my head when I actually started writing was a story of Swan Sister.  But, I was afraid I couldn’t do it.  I thought, Hey man, I gotta figure out how to write first.  Mina and These Lying Eyes was born from my “saving” Swan Sister until later.

Of the fairy tales I’ve written, I wrote Snow White & Rose Red first, but this tale predates it.  Snow is coming soon.  For now I hope you love Fallow and Song of Sorrow.

The Shadow Kin possess great abilities.  They can sense secrets, foretell your future, and sometimes even control the shadows themselves. But even the Kin aren’t immune to fate. 

For Fallow, the future promises nothing but sorrow.  Armed with only the mystical red cloak of the Shadow Kin, she is determined to conquer what’s ahead and choose her own destiny.  Even if that means risking everything.

Click Here to get your own copy.

~Amanda

 

 

Coming Sooooooonnnnnn…….

The Shadow Kin possess great abilities.  They can sense secrets, foretell your future, and sometimes even control the shadows themselves. But even the Kin aren’t immune to fate. 

For Fallow, the future promises nothing but sorrow.  Armed with only the mystical red cloak of the Shadow Kin, she is determined to conquer what’s ahead and choose her own destiny.  Even if that means risking everything.

I hope you’re as excited as I am about my take on some of the fairy tales.  Song of Sorrow, introduces you to the country Pareon, ruled by the Witch Queen Marana.  In Pareon, magic is everyday.  Ordinary objects can be the avenues to swift changes in the course of your life.  The woman at the well may be a witch–friend or foe.

You’ll be able to find it at amazon.com this month.

Wooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooo

~Amanda

ps:  I totally typo’d my own name.  Does anyone else do that?

I heart books.

Sometimes there is a book that steals a piece of you.  It sinks into you and crafts a hole and nestles there coloring your imagination and changing the things you want out of life.

Because of Pride and Prejudice, I dream of a different kind of love.  I don’t need the flashy Wickham.  I need Darcy.  You know?

Because of Harry Potter, I want a letter to Hogwarts.  More than just about anything.  Sometimes when I’m having trouble sleeping, I dream of what 11 year old me would put in her trunk for Hogwarts.  What would you pack?  Are you muggle born or born to a family with a house elf and a clock that tracks your location and a mom that reads Witch Weekly?  What animal do you bring with you?  A handy owl or kitty to snuggle?

Because of some random mystery, I want to have beignets and bananas foster in New Orleans.  Because of A Wrinkle in Time, I tried a tomato sandwich (yum!).  Because of regency romance novels, I tried scones and clotted cream (also yum!).

I need Gladys from the Flavia de Luce books.  I want an old rambling gothic mansion.  I want an apple orchard.  I want to walk into the Paris catacombs.  And picnic in a Paris graveyard (Anna and the French Kiss).  I want to float in a boat on Prince Edward Island (Anne of Green Gables).

And after finishing The Dream Thieves, I want friends good enough that I can bury a body with them.  Which sounds creepy and awful.  But 1) ***SPOILER***, it wasn’t human.  And 2) there’s an odd level of friendship that you’ve reached when you can call up your buddy and bury a body together.

Who knew?

The reason I heart books though?  They allow me to experience a little bit of magic.  It’s why I write and why I read.  Because, in the end, I just heart books.

~Amanda

ps  I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see my covers with those other ones.  even if i did it myself.  

Hey! It’s your lucky day.

My book is on sale!  

For one day only you can get it for $0.99.  After that it raises in price until it’s back to normal.  You should buy it.  Maybe for all of your friends.

 

Have a good one.

~Amanda

Remember How I Said I Got Slammed By A New Story?

You know.  I was happily writing This Betraying Flesh.  Got stuck.  Accidentally wrote a novel, a novella (soon to be novel), a novella, an novella, and plotted out a whole series?  You know those slutty little ideas that steal into your mind when you’re SUPPOSED to be writing This Betraying Flesh which you’ve been fighting with for who knows how long?

So, I’m writing two interconnected series.  One that tells some fairy-tales we all know and love.  One that is set earlier in the timeline and tells the setup of those fairy tales.  The preludes if you will.  Anticipate publishing in the follow order.

Song of Sorrow, A Prequel to Rapunzel (Part 1)

Snow White, Rose Red

Untitled, A Prequel to Rapunzel (Part 2)

Beauty and the Beast

Untitled, A Prequel to Rapunzel (Part 3)

Rapunzel

Untitled, A Prequel to Red Riding Hood

Red Riding Hood

Untitled Prequel

Untitled Final Novel

If it helps those of you who’ve been waiting for This Betraying Flesh.  My friend Auburn and I have recently *pinky swore* to stop effing around with other stuff, pick a project, and focus on it to the end.  For right now, that project is Song of Sorrow because it is STUPID close to being done.  This Betraying Flesh is soon to be up.  Pinky swears and all.

So all of that leads up to this…

Dunh

Dunh

Dunnnnnnnnnnn

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What do you think?  I kinda love it.  Y’know.  A lot.

~Amanda

ps turns out writing a new story totally fixed This Betraying Flesh in my head.  So, woooo-hooooo there.