Tim Schaefer's Blog, page 5

THE CREATURE THAT YOU WERE

I was watching this movie 
from 50 years ago 1969
two young men on a road trip
through Italy and a girl 
they pick up (Charlotte Rampling-
always an intriguing presence)
I was haunted by a couple of pigeons
who got a brief cameo to ruffle
their feathers and then they were 
gone but they existed! 
and for a moment I honored
their presence in this world 
they lived they died
they had pigeon adventures and
difficulties like anyone...

This shit's been going on forever
and you were there

How foolish it may be to say
this is me and this was my life
dating back to ???
you're not the same creature you were
then and no one would confuse
the "you" back then with this thing
you've now become (sorry-just reflecting
on my own state of being) 
did those pigeons ever
think about emerging from the shell and 
say oh look that was me...how cute
don't think so they knew exactly
who they were at every stage of the game
so you see a connecting thread simply because
you can remember events from that other
person's life and current events of your own
I tell you don't reflect upon that person's life
they are forever young...  you are
forever old and disgusting...
if your mind opened up you'd remember
it ALL and where would that continuity
the singular life thread that you cling to so 
obsessively now be then...

Pigeon poop in the wind

LONG WINTER'S NIGHT

Should I sleep in my clothes again
or does it matter to anyone but me?(Oh, there's crumbs in my beard...maybe tomorrow I'll brush them out.)
There are nights when the fog rolls inso heavy that the pale light of your lanternwon't begin to cut a path forward.
And you haven't got a dogyou haven't got a womanand you just ran out of beer.
What is dead is restlessand you've rescued no one.
That portends a long winter's nightand summer has just begun.
 I'll leave the window cracked a bitin case there are ghosts who wantto slip in to hurl their final accusations.
Then I will sleepand close my eyesto everything that dies.

ALL THE NEWS YOU CAN'T USE

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

And now we take you to reporter Bill Williams, on the scene in Katmandu to interview Sven Jorgensenn, who has just returned from the summit of Mount Everest.

REPORTER BILL: Well. Mister Jorgensenn, that's quite a feat you just accomplished! But what do you say to people who look at that and say: He climbed a big rock...what's the freaking point of THAT?

SVEN: Well, when you put it that way, I guess it was about my own self-gratification, you know? Because it was there! I guess you could say my obsession pushed me on to new heights--ha ha!

REPORTER BILL:  Yes, just think of what you could have accomplished had you used that same sort of obsession to do something actually worthwhile...something that would have contributed to the betterment of mankind, or the planet we live on.

SVEN: Well...we did leave a lot of trash up there...not exactly helping things, I guess. But hey, I'll be able to brag about this the rest of my life!

REPORTER BILL: A lot of people died up there..leaving their families to grieve for the rest of their lives..all in the name of something that has no real significance or meaning... except, as you say, one's own selfish pursuits, reckless obsession, and bragging rights.

SVEN: But it proves I've got some BIG ONES, now doesn't it?  No guts, no glory.  Hi mom!!!

REPORTER BILL: Now back to our studios for a report on another truly meaningless topic....the upcoming election! 

LONE WOLF

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

Kinda funny to think of 
how I once submitted myself
for your approval
(you meaning the lot of you)
in the ritual we call
The Dance
to be graded
rated
negated
castrated
or perhaps
sated
but in the end
it's all the same
but now you see
you've nothing I need
so there's no need
to bother
and had I known
how easy it would be to say
FUK TO ALL
(to be brutally honest)
I'd have done it long ago
and saved these tire tracks
across my back 

Never could figure out
the secret
to makin' someone else
happy
till one day it finally hit me...

Goddamn, Sam!
That ain't your job!

HARD RAIN

I'll give you something to dream on
with your dream catcher above the bed
an Indian summer
a band of wild Indians war whooping
and an arrow stuck in your butt
as just desserts for rooting for the
cowboys in those old western movies
when you were a kid

A hard rap on the knuckles
with a ruler
for every time you caught
fireflies in a jar
they died in there 
just so you could see
some twinkly lights
shallow child

There are only stolen moments of joy
(admit that now and you'll be free)
all the rest is just the tedium of life
as seen through rose colored beer glasses

Would you cough your life up
like a hairball
examine it
and swallow it again? 

And I want to see an epitaph that says:
Here lies ol' Bob
his life wasn't horrible
but it kinda sucked

I sometimes reflect upon
who and what I might have been
had I gone off to kill people
at the behest of some politicians
I was twisted enough as it was

I can't imagine
I can't imagine

But thank you for your service
thanks for defending our slavery

And the animals are marching
2 by 2
as if they knew
a hard rain's a-gonna fall

ANOTHER APRIL

What is this "growing old gracefully" shit?
Does it mean that you will not bitch
about your aches and pains?
Does it mean you won't wince when
women call you Sir?
And does it mean that you will
no longer be able
to hop up on the table at the dance
and drop your pants?

And if you did 
would they all just snicker
instead of scream?

I like to think of grace
as maintaining my own pace.
Each day the road is filled with
cars
trucks
motor homes
and bulldozers
gunning past me like I'm standing still
just because I'm doing only
ten miles an hour over the speed limit. 
If any of them had been on 
The Hindenburg or
The Titanic
they'd have learned that you 
don't want to always be in 
such a frightful hurry 
to get where you're going.

Another April has come and gone
and I'm in less of a tizzy
more inclined to listen to
music instead of news
rollin' down the road to my man
Jimmy Reed wailing the blues.

So I'll take some time
to take the long way home
and when I run out of pavement
I want the radio to be playing
that same sweet refrain
as I fade into the topaz twilight.

NO ESCAPE

I knew her when she was twelve
such a pretty girl
shoulda coulda been 
Homecoming Queen
later on

but she was hemmed in
on all sides
by the trash

white trash

no one hauls it away
she never knew anything
but the trash

they say pull yourself up
by your bootstraps
break the cycle
but how can you
when no one hauls
the trash away

such a pretty girl
shoulda coulda been
a model
but there was no one around
to model a different reality               

saw her a while back
overweight
overburdened
two little kids 
each fathered by a different
dude
neither of whom could be seen
on the the local radar screen 

each of them said
see you later
gonna take out the trash
and they hauled their asses
out of there

the only lie they never told her 

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads


Still just a dumbshitin the deliriumof his own desiresthough mitigated byexpectations diminishedhis flag at half mastwaving in the breezelooking for a nimblepole dancerto be his main squeeze

JUMP CUT

HOW TO DO ANYTHING
print out my online instructions
but be advised they are lengthy
because "anything" covers
a lot of ground.

LAST CHANCE FOR 8 DOLLAR SHORTS
I've taken it in the shorts 
too many times
maybe my luck is turning.

COMMENT FROM MARIA
wait...
lemme check this...
okay...
never mind...
Maria is a whore.

TIM, YOU HAVE A NEW 
SUGGESTED FRIEND

I'm so distracted!

Gimmie an  A!

Gimmie a    D!

Gimmie an  H!

Gimmmie a  D!


COMMENT FROM ROXANNE
My reply: 
So happy
you've turned out the red light
at long last.

jump cut
jump cut

Oh, look at your cute little twins
we are Siamese if you please
I'm turning Japanese
I'm turning...
I'm turning...

I'm going back in my memory
to observe
The Big Bang
once again
I remember it 
as being...
loud

Where are my fukking ear plugs???

GOOGLE IS DOWN
GOOGLE IS DOWN
I'm melting!
I'm melting!

America
we are in big trouble.

Never mind...
just gimmie my damn phone!

HAPPY TALK NEWS

Imaginary Garden With real Toads

Now let's join the local
morning news team on Channel 18...


News Anchor KEN:
There's a big jaywalking problem
in our city--now we take you
to Stacy Blah, our reporter
on the scene down at the 
corner of Blah and Blah...

Holy crap, Stacy...
get out of the road...
you almost got hit by that bus!

Now let's go to Shannon for the weather...hey Shannon, there's some discussion
around the water cooler as to whether
you are a natural blonde or not...

SHANNON:
That's for me to know and for you to 
put it where the sun don't shine, Ken!

KEN:
Hey Shannon, I'm only relaying
the scuttlebutt from those who
observed you at the office Christmas
party--ha ha!


Now let's go to Jay for the sports report...

JAY:
Well, folks, the Cubs lost another game last night. They've got no hitting and they've got no pitching. You'll see them in the World Series again in another hundred years or so. If you're lucky. THEY SUCK!!!

KEN:
Keep it right here  
for more news you can use...
we'll be back with more
on the election after these short
words about your erection
from Frank Thomas!

Click.