Tim Schaefer's Blog, page 17

ULTIMATELY

When I start to thinking about it
I say to myself what was wrong
With that one?
And what was wrong
With that one?
And so on down the line
Covering all the ones I
Ultimately
Found something wrong with
And then I think about
What was good
And there was always something good
And often there was a lot that was good but
Ultimately
There had to be something
that was bad
That trumped all the good, otherwise
DUH
I'd still be with that one
But often I don't recall just what it was...

And then I start to wonder if any of those who
Ultimately
Found more that was bad about me than good
Ever run through the same checklist
In their heads
Asking what was wrong with him?
Ya know
Cuz there WAS a lot of good
(At least for a while)) but
Ultimately
There had to be
Enough bad to trump all the good

But

Why do I get the feeling that THEY
Sit there shaking their heads saying,
OH SHIT--how could I forget about THAT???

And 

Gee, I wonder whatever happened
to that A-HOLE anyway!

I SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN THIS LONG AGO IN HOPES YOU MIGHT HAVE SEEN IT AND STILL BE HERE

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

Online bullying?

when I was comin' up
it was up close
and personal
and in your face
(not Facebook)

one thing it does
when you're on the receiving end
is helps to build character

so develop a hard shell
kids
like that giant tortoise at the zoo
(and shine it with turtle wax)
and have some empathy
for your tormentors
for they are hurting
the same as you

and

consider the source

can't tell you how many times
that has seen me through

never once validated
or took their words
to heart

that's called knowing who you are

never knew anyone
of my generation
(them damn hippies!)
who checked out over it

cuz

there is a place
deep inside
at your very core
where no one can hurt you

find it

it is your strength
and your reserve
and one day
it will lead you
triumphant
into the sun

IF

with real toads

If what were left
of you
was water
instead of dust
I'd drink a little
of you
each day
and piss you out
in the mornings
like dew drops
on the heather
then wait for you
to rise
into the clouds
and  pray
for stormy weather

THE ONLY CONCRETE THINGS IN LIFE

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

Sidewalks speak
of cig butts and spittle,
old women in door stoops,
poetry cafes and musty smelling bookshops--
the clack of high heels,
the cadence of raindrops,
and children running.

Sidewalks speak
of jackhammers, sirens, and horns--
of just before,
and the moment after,
the corner store
and the ring of laughter.

Sidewalks speak
of dog shit, baby carriages, and
ice cream cones melting in the sun.
Of epithets hurled, flags unfurled,
five o'clock shadows, gutters,
teenagers on the run.

Sidewalks speak
of swirling lights
painted faces
and tango dancers.
Sidewalks speak...
but no one answers.

Sidewalks caution:
WATCH YOUR STEP!
for the road twists and bends.

Life is a nameless corner
where the sidewalk ends.

THE ONLY CONCRETE THING IN LIFE

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

Sidewalks speak
of cig butts and spittle,
old women in door stoops,
poetry cafes and musty smelling bookshops--
the clack of high heels,
the cadence of raindrops,
and children running.

Sidewalks speak
of jackhammers, sirens, and horns--
of just before,
and the moment after,
the corner store
and the ring of laughter.

Sidewalks speak
of dog shit, baby carriages, and
ice cream cones melting in the sun.
Of epithets hurled, flags unfurled,
five o'clock shadows, gutters,
teenagers on the run.

Sidewalks speak
of swirling lights
painted faces
and tango dancers.
Sidewalks speak...
but no one answers.

Sidewalks caution:
WATCH YOUR STEP!
for the road twists and bends.

Life is a nameless corner
where the sidewalk ends.

COSMIC JOKE

The point
is not to point out
this injustice
or that
and rail
and wail
and flail
or send those angry missives
through the mail
have at it if it floats your
rubber ducky
if it makes you feel better
 to care
just be aware
that injustice is EVERYWHERE
you haven't been singled out
(snort some stuff up your snout)
be a fundamentalist
if it turns your crank
let the preacher take
your money to the bank
you're still missing
the fundamental point
that this world we've created
you and me
is a topsy-turvy
absurdity
a game one can only win
if not taken seriously
that sounds like a contradiction
(now you're getting warm)
you don't react to absurdity
you don't respond to insanity
with a straight face
you simply laugh along
with the other inmates
of the asylum
who've discovered the
cosmic joke
play the game
for all you're worth
just don't take a life
or give your life
(settle down with your wife)
this cheaply
alone in your room at night
putting together that explosive device
and when you've blown yourself
the hell off the planet
and your soul is streaking
back to that place of
clarity and light
you'll say oh you
stupid
silly
sonofabitch
you fell for it again
and all because
you missed the point
of the game
which is simply to remember
that you're playing one
and that later on we'll all have
a good laugh together
and go back
jack
and do it again

PARADE

gave my buddy a lift
to the V.A.

waited for him
in the lobby
to a slow and steady
military parade of

walkers
wheelchairs
and canes

walkers...

wheelchairs...

and canes

in and out
in and out
in and out

the door

as the music speakers played
"What A Wonderful World"

CONSIDER

I really don't care
what you DO
really I don't
cuz anything between two
or three
or more
consenting pervs
is alright with me
just tell me how
it makes you FEEL
like the first time
you cheated on your man
did it make you feel
guilty?
dirty?
giddy?
confused?
like in high school when
you walked past those boys
who always muttered something
beneath their breath
and then you took to not wearing a bra
when you passed by
cuz it made you feel giddy
just to gauge their reaction
as you pretended
(with that haughty look
your species has perfected )
not to notice them


Sight alone cannot authenticate
that something is real
(for it may be a dream)
you've got to take into your grasp
and FEEL

As one who has attempted
on numerous occasions
to bridge the gap between
fantasy and reality
I want you to consider dangerous things
i want you to THINK about crossing
that line
whether you do or not
is of no import to me
just as long as you look me
in the eye
and tell me how it makes you
FEEL
make it real
so that maybe
for the first time in your life
you'll be free

AND THE WORD WAS MADE FLESH

If ever I go berserk, I won't go running amuck
through the streets...I'll just go out and spend
every last dime I have on books.

Today I've taken to rubbing the covers (front and back)
of my favorite volumes all across my skin--all over my body.
(And yes, YOUR tome as well--you know who you are!)
The glossy finishes glide smoother than the matte.
 No matter. It is pure ecstasy.
 (The fact that you cannot do this with an e-book should not be lost on you.)

Never before have I derived so much pleasure from the written word.
Soon I'll open them to certain pages--my favorite passages--
and follow through in similar fashion.
(This is called absorbing the material.)
I know....I know...I did the same when I was twelve,
but those were magazines with pictures.
I've grown beyond that adolescent stage
into a pure "lover" of the written word.
An ageless, timeless, complete love!
I knew that I would find it someday,
and what a surprise to find it right there under my nose!

Make love to what you love.

Uh oh... I'm starting to feel that urge again...
that craving...to go out and score...about a dozen more.
There's a used book sale the public library
is putting on down the street. A buck for a book!
(Sometimes fifty cents.)
Somebody stop me!
Read the first fifty pages--
if it doesn't grab you by then, move on.
(Good advice for any relationship.)

It is enough just to have them,
Stacked here, there and everywhere.
Don't worry, I'll find SOMEPLACE to put them!

Books up the butt.

HEY KIDS!

My new book--LAST TANGO IN TIMBUKTI  (Selected Stories and Poems)
is FREE on Amazon Kindle from now through Sunday, January 13th.

If you read it, or part of it, do me a big favor by leaving a comment in the WRITE A REVIEW section on my Amazon page. A "review" doesn't have to be much: I loved it...I hated it...I fell off my chair because I was laughing so hard...I would have fallen off my chair anyway because I  was drunk, etc. 

Thanks so much...download NOW, and enjoy! Click on the cover image to the right on this page to go to the All Caps Publishing page, then scroll down to get the link.