Alex Shippe's Blog, page 2

Mother may lose children if she can't find housing

You may have seen the posts popping up around Facebook.

A mom in need.

In danger of losing her two children if she can't find housing for the three of them.

The husband who is making it impossible for her.

With a court-ordered deadline looming like a guillotine sawing rope, cutting through the days she has left, I can only imagine the fear in that mother's eyes.

When Rachel Olson first PM'd me about this tragic situation, my heart immediately went out to her friend, Amy. Having grown up in a very similar situation in which my own father successfully incinerated the family finances (while insulating himself), preventing my mom from buying a house, forcing her to go back to work—for not one but two jobs—just to keep us kids fed and a roof over our troubled brows. I sympathize with Amy and her situation.

Divorce is ugly. The reasons each of the spouses has is valid. I don't care who did what, I worry about those kids. They are the ones who will be made to suffer, and that's just unconscionable.

Rachel and I went back and forth about her friend in a private chat. I asked her questions. She replied. I asked more. At one point, Rachel said she wanted to keep Amy's identity secret; she was concerned for her safety. I agreed.

If you've ever known someone in an abusive relationship then you understand the constant threat of fear, punishment, the barrage of hurtful words and restrictions, the toxic environment that shuts down good people. The future is bleak, without intervention.

It's nearing the end of September and Amy could use some help. It's been nearly a month since the judge gave Amy her deadline and she's trying like heck to get her kids out of her ex-husband's house and into a peaceful, loving environment with her. You may be asking yourself right about now who am I to judge this guy, and you'd be right, but ask yourself this question: Would you trust your kids with a spouse who is trying to make you homeless?

Since then, Rachel has been trying to help her friend gather enough money to move out. So far it's been a difficult road. It shouldn't be, but it is. It's not easy asking people for money. We don't really know Amy. We're aren't friends. We aren't neighbors. We don't even go to church together.

The T-shirt drive Rachel hosted was a flop. The fundraising drive isn't going very well either. For whatever reason, Amy's situation isn't reaching enough hearts.

I have an idea. It may be a long shot, but I can almost bet that all of us have some gently used clothes, shoes, and toys and nicknacks that could find some new homes. Just like them, help Amy and her two children find a new home.

Have a tag sale. Have a yard sale. And send Amy these little angels to help her on her way.

Here's where to find more details about the fundraiser to help Amy and prevent her from having Christmas without them. God bless. http://www.gofundme.com/443mnk.

High marks for Le Fevre's suspenseful tale

Wade Le FevreRight from the get go, Le Fevre draws the reader into a spine-tingling tale, filled with foreboding omens and one-way doors that lead down an ever-dimming spiral, down, down, and down even further, until all light has turned to darkness. I thought I knew how the character was going to come out of this, but, no, I did not. Because as you'll discover, hell has no roadsigns. I found myself reaching for every light switch in the house while reading, to remind myself that I could. Le Fevre's novel, Terrorizing Jude, is an unexpected flashlight with long-lasting batteries. Fair warning. Once you'd downloaded this story to your e-reader you'll never think about dull digital pixels the same way again, without rubbing a field of goosebumps first, and that's only after flipping on every light switch in the house, in the middle of the afternoon.

1. Before you tell us about your book, why don’t you share a little bit about yourself.
Well I am a huge film fan and avid reader. Before deciding to write books I had worked hard to learn to be a screenwriter. I took screenwriting classes at Mount San Antonio College and watched a lot of movies. I’ve always been good at English, even in high school my teachers were always impressed with my creativity.

2. Outside of writing, what sort of activities do you enjoy?
There aren’t many, I mostly read and watch movies when I get spare time. If I’m not hanging out with friends I can usually be found at the movies or sitting somewhere with my nose stuck in my kindle.

3. Do you have a favorite food, snack, and/or beverage?
If I had to say a favorite food I would probably say something Italian, like lasagna or baked ziti. I am however a huge fan of snacks. When I’m being bad I can plow through a bag of peanut M&M’s like you wouldn’t believe and I have never turned down a brownie.

4. Authors draw from a wide variety of experiences, from their own lives as well as the lives of others. Which is the richest source for you?
Mostly mine. My stories don’t come from too many people I know. I’ve never ever met anyone in my life personally who was physically and psychologically tortured at the hands of a madman. The bulk of my stories I make up the plots and characters, but to flesh out their lives and give them a little more detail and flavor I take a great many things from my own life. Childhood memories, favorite movies, belief systems, things like that. Then I’ll give another character the exact opposite opinions and belief systems and maybe imagine a life of someone I knew in the past.

5. Of the stories you have written so far, which is your favorite and why?
I guess of the three I have so far I would have to say Covenant which is the book that I’m releasing next year. Not to depreciate the other two in any way, I love them both, but I feel like with each book I become a better writer. I understand the medium more and I utilize its strengths and as I was writing Covenant everything seemed to fall into place so easily whereas with the previous two I really had to work to make things flow the way they do.

6. Embarrassing moment. Do you have one? Or better yet, are you sure you want to put it out there?
When I was in the fifth grade I played Prince Charming in the school play. Wore yellow tights and everything. I’m not entirely sure if I want that getting out, but honestly, there are video tapes and pictures out there somewhere so it might one day whether I want it to or not.

7. What genres do you write for? Are there any that you haven’t that you would like to explore?
Mostly so far I have written for horror. But part of the plan is that I would like to write on good, solid trilogy of science fiction novels. Not like a series but just three separate science fiction stories, but written from the horror point of view of the situation. I have all three ideas in place, it’s just a matter of getting to them, but switching genres at too early a juncture I feel is a bad idea. Probably won’t write the first one for another two or three years.

8. What advice would you give new authors?
Don’t do too much at one time. If you can help it, find your audience and start marketing before you have a release date in mind. Take your time, it’s not a process you want to rush otherwise you’re going to find yourself doing too much at one time.

9. Now that we’ve had a chance to get to know you, tell us about the latest story you have out now?
Well, Terrorizing Jude is out now, but next month I will have Snipe Hunt out, which is a very different vampire story than I think most people will be used to. Very excited for that. Then next year I will be releasing Covenant which is my own variation of the haunted house story and currently I’m working on a first draft of an as yet untitled work about two pre-teens and a werewolf. So I’m keeping busy.
________________________EXCERPT

From Terrorizing Jude:

The plopping sound of dripping water reverberated through the room, bouncing off the tiled walls. There was a four second delay between drips, as the water slowly collected at the edge of the tap, eventually falling out of the faucet and landing in the water that filled the tub. The momentary collision of the two bodies of water as they became one caused a gentle ripple and a slight echo that would quickly die away.

The woman in the tub paid no mind to any of it. She had long since expired. Had she been at all alive she might have appreciated the peacefulness of her surroundings, maybe even have found solace in the majestic beauty of such a send off. As it was she had instead perished in a fit of explosive violence, the last thought rushing through her head one of horror, the last sound that of her neck snapping.
________________________BLURB
From Terrorizing Jude: 
“Jude is terrified. She lives in a constant state of fear of being home alone. She is so afraid that it is starting to affect her marriage. To overcome her fear she decides to spend a perilous two days alone in her apartment while her husband is at work. Her mind plays tricks on her from phantom sneezes to the television turning itself on. But is it all her imagination? Or…is there really something to be afraid of? Something as close as her coat closet?________________________
Find TERRORIZING JUDE on Amazon
Stay connected with Wade Le Fevre on Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/wadelefevre

Downing ties sexy spy knot in 'End Games'

"End Games"Unabashed is the first word that comes to mind after reading Downing's sexy spy thriller, End Games. Brazen is another. Sinister, too. Flawed characters are my favorite. Altruistic or greedy, unstable or determined, the list goes on. The deeper I was drawn into the story the more I realized two things: I liked the characters, and I didn't want them to change. I didn't want them to overcome their troubles. I wanted them to remain who they were from page one, and I wanted them to kick the crap out of everything that crossed their paths, even each other, because love born in crisis can be a dangerous game to play. And I enjoyed reading every word of it.
1. Before you tell us about your book, why don’t you share a little bit about yourself.My name is Mia Downing and I’m a lingerie model. ::snort:: Seriously, I’m the most boring person on the world. I’m married and have stayed at home with part time jobs to raise my kids, so I’m the strawberry blonde in the school drop-off line, cheering at the lacrosse games, hiding from the PTA because I do NOT want to bake for the sale. LOL
However, I love my secret life of being a romance author. No, most people in my real life don’t know, and since I work with kids teaching horseback riding lessons I’m fine with that.
2. Outside of writing, what sort of activities do you enjoy?I’m a horse professional, so I love riding and teaching. I also knit, do decorative painting and read! My favorite thing is hanging with my family. My daughter rides, so we get a lot of quality time together.
3. Do you have a favorite food, snack, and/or beverage?Coffee and Diet Coke are musts all year around. I drink unsweetened ice tea in the summer that I doctor up with fresh lemon and mint from the garden. Bananas are my go-to snack. I have yet to meet a slice of cheesecake I didn’t fall madly in love with.
4. Authors draw from a wide variety of experiences, from their own lives as well as the lives of others. Which is the richest source for you?Well, I have yet to burn through the hell called childhood, so that’s a great resource for the angst-ridden characters. I often will use horses or something within the horse community, such as therapeutic riding for people with disabilities. I used that in a recent free m/m for the Goodreads M/M romance group. I recently took a course for my pistol permit to help with the shooting aspects in the Spy Games series. I just finished up a weekend in upstate NY on the Erie Canal. I loved seeing the town’s lift bridge and meeting with the bridge operator. I would love to use it in a story sometime!
5. Of the stories you have written so far, which is your favorite and why?You never ask a mother who her favorite child is! I love them all, for different reasons. All of my books have some shred of me in them, so if you know me well enough you can see what part of my life an aspect came from.
6. Embarrassing moment. Do you have one? Or better yet, are you sure you want to put it out there?When the hubby and I were first dating, I had shoved a condom in my pocket just in case things might get frisky that afternoon. I was talking to his mother, reached into my pocket to give her something and pulled out the condom instead. I am hopeful she thought it was candy. I never asked. LOL
7. What genres do you write for? Are there any that you haven’t that you would like to explore?I write erotic romance, and I have written m/f, m/m and m/f/m. I do lots of kink bordering on BDSM (but not hardcore) as well as some suspense elements. I write a lot of conflict, so even my short stories are packed with angst. I plan on writing an m/m/f, a m/f story with a bit of a steampunk feel, and a kinky cowboy.
8. What advice would you give new authors?Write, write, write. The key is to have a backlist to offer a reader when they love your first one! Write different lengths, try different publishers, do a few self-published. Variety will reach more readers. The other piece of advice is to not see every opportunity as a promo op, especially on Facebook or other social media sites. Let people see how awesome you are and they’ll buy the books faster than if you’re promoting every second.
9. Now that we’ve had a chance to get to know you, tell us about the latest story you have out now?Endgame is the third (and final unless there’s a novella) book in the Spy Games series. If you haven’t read the series, it starts with Trained for Seduction, where we meet Chase Sanders, the boss for his elite group of spies. Jake Anderson is his best friend and stars in the next book, Lethal Limits. Endgame features Jake’s brother, actor Aaron James and spy Charlotte Smith. It’s a fun wrap-up to the series and we see a little of how everyone has progressed. There are secrets, danger, guns, hot sex… Need I say more?________________________BLURB
From Spy Games: Endgame: 
Sexy spy Charlotte Smith doesn't go by the code name Dragon Queen because she's sweet and cuddly. She's cold, hard, and mean and has been training for the past five years to take down the men who destroyed her soul and left her burning for revenge. But when she meets her next assignment at a wedding, her body protests there's much more to life than kicking asses and taking names. Actor Aaron James is witty, hot as hell, and he smells divine. But women with suicidal endgames don't indulge in casual sex, and they definitely don't fall in love.
Since meeting Charlotte at his brother's wedding, Aaron's life has been nothing but trouble. He's plagued by memories of the kiss he stole from her, and he senses underneath her aloof nature and frosty glare is a woman with passion and fire. When Charlotte is assigned as his bodyguard after a botched kidnapping attempt, he's psyched. What better way to get in her panties than have her pretend she's his girlfriend? Until Aaron realizes too late he wants more than into her panties...he want's Charlotte's heart.
Contains: Explicit language, really hot sex, anal sex, toys, light bondage, very light BDSM, a really hot actor and his kick-ass spy bodyguard. M/F________________________EXCERPT
From Spy Games: Endgame…
“All tied up like a gift, you are. Delightful. I’m going to take the hood off now and have a peek at my present. I love Christmas, but I don’t like to wait.”
“Such a pretty gift, all wrapped up, so close to Christmas,” she breathed, her cheeks denting with a dimple as she smiled at him with mischief. She wrinkled her pert nose. God, could a woman’s skin get any creamier than that? Pale and flawless except for the scar under her left ear he noticed when she turned slightly, cocking her head as if to listen for something.
She did the unthinkable and straddled his lap, her face inches from his, looking into his eyes, the heat from her crotch searing his shaft. He should be afraid. Terrified. But something told him this wouldn’t be like his first time. If she just rode him into oblivion, this time he’d enjoy every moment of it.
“So handsome.” She touched his cheek with a gloved hand, her fingers warm through the leather. Her sleeve rode up and a tattoo around her wrist was exposed, a delicate chain of daisies with a yellow butterfly. He knew that, from somewhere, too, but didn’t remember seeing it on her when they danced. She wiggled on his lap, the ridge of his cock angling against the heat of her crotch through those thin black pants of hers.
He groaned through his gag. If she just rode him, even while he was bound and gagged, he’d be more than grateful for the gift. It was a new experience, to be so damned aroused over a woman, under such extremes. Maybe that’s what the problem was—this was way too extreme. He’d fought feelings like this for years. Now they were punching him in the gut as hard as she ground against his cock. 
“Happy to see me again, are you? These ropes excite me, too. It’d be more exciting if it were the other way around. I love a good bondage session.”
He groaned again. He didn’t like kinky shit, but he did like Charlotte. Way, way too much.________________________

Find Spy Games: Endgame on Amazon

Stay connected with Mia Downing!Visit Mia on FacebookFollow Mia on TwitterMia's Amazon pageMia's Goodreads Page

Howen's tribal, supernatural blend a surprising weave across time

S.r. HowenFew stories have the ability to suspend me from reality and transport me, almost as if I am held in a bubble, without time or place, or need to reason. But I have to admit, Howen's  release, The Chief of All Time, was a pleasant find, a gem I randomly discovered while sifting through the digital library that is Amazon. It was such a treat to read. And while I am not usually a fan of horror, I found this book to be an unexpected blend of just the things I like in a good story: an invitation into an unusual world built on some solid research and relatable characters. I say unusual because I can't ever recall hearing or reading a story about Native Americans in which it was overlapped with horror. Folklore, yes. Cautionary tales, yes. But horror? Read it for yourself, and judge for yourself. Time may not be as relative as you think.
1. Before we start talking about your book, why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself? I’ve done about every job you can think of, milked cows, worked on the family farm, waitress, cook, bar tender, forensic clean up, Christams tree farm, canning factory, mink ranch, wild life rescue, fast food manager, convience store manager, and teacher. I’ve always told stories. It wasn’t very popular with my parents and my teachers in grade school—but once I discovered that if you wrote your “lies” down no one cared and they called them stories and oooed and ahhhed over them . . .my path was set. I would be a writer. Who knew you could get paid for telling lies?
2. Besides writing, what other activities do you enjoy in your spare time? People have spare time?I sleep about 5 to 6 hours a night, other than that I am non-stop on the go. We have the wildlife rehab and a cat rescue, plus 2 dogs, and our own cats, I also edit and do mentoring, I host for a tour company, run a writer’s group and I do like to read and give reviews. So basically my life is very full from sun rise to sun set and beyond.
3. Describe your daily routine, once you have an idea for a story? When a plot bunny invades, and often they invade in hordes, I sit at the keyboard, shut off the screen, put on whatever music seems to fit the story, and I type frantically for hours, weeks and days. Most novels of 90k take me about 45 days to write. I do have certain things I must have while I write, a stack of colored index cards, post it notes, a notebook, a spreadsheet I use to track word count, and of course a new package of pens. I don’t outline, I have no idea where the story is going any more than a reader picking up the book would, I discover the story as I go along. When a new character walks into the book, I note them on an index card, and if something about a character hits me that isn’t going to be known to the reader yet, then I will jot something on a post it note, like John, he thinks this or that while talking to the police. I have giant white board (a 4 x 8 smooth panel that was made for the purpose of use in a bathroom) and it ends up full of notes and so on but only after I have written a scene, if I work out the story before I write it, my muse rolls over and plays dead, since I have already “written” that story.
4. People are inspired from a variety of places. Where do you get your ideas from? I don’t know. Isn’t that an odd and ambiguous answer? I can sit an analyze and try to come up with that one spark that gave me an idea, something I saw, heard, felt, but in the long run, they just come. I can hear a song on the radio, or even a TV ad and there it is, the idea stirs.  And since I have no idea what I am going to write before I do, I just sit and write and see what happens with that feeling. So more than ideas for stories, I get feelings for them. 
5. Out of all of the stories you’ve written, which is your favorite, and why? Wow, I don’t have a favorite, I have one that I think is one of my best works, and I have one that is my least favorite—but most favorite?  If I didn’t love all my books to some extent then why would I bother to market them or to even finish writing them?
6. Funny moment. Do you have one? Better yet, do you want to put it out there? I can’t think of anything.  My sense of humor comes out pretty well on Facebook, and in my everyday life. I am WYSIWYG.
7. Are any of your stories inspired by true life events or from your imagination? Yes to both. A beta reader read my latest erotica story, and she said wow, I didn’t know this was going to be semi auto biographical. My reaction was huh? So while I don’t set out to write stories that are based on my life or experiences I think they leak in, I think that’s true of any writer. You can research, and look into, but if you want the emotion of the experience to come through then the only way to really make the reader feel what the character feels is to have felt it yourself.
8. Does your ‘muse’ have a name, and if so what is his/her name? The first thing that jumped into my head was: Relentless Bastard. You can bleep that if you want. But my muse is no walk in the park, when it wants me to write and has given me that feeling, I go for days with no sleep, while it keeps cracking the whip.
9. What other genre besides the one you are writing in would you like to try? I always wanted to write mystery, I read a lot of mystery. But every time I started one it never worked, I was trying to hard I think. My latest erotic romance started out as a chance encounter of two damaged people taking place in 1985. It ended up being a mystery. Next, I like the idea of a hard boiled type detective novel. 
10. Who are your favorite authors? I read a lot of JD Robb, but not her books under her own name Nora Roberts. Sue Grafton, JA Jance, Tony Hillerman, Sue Henry, Anne Rice, Stephen King, RR Martin, Mike Reshnick—I don’t have any one favorite.
11. Do you have a favorite female and male character in your books? In the Medicine Man series it would be the MC Shannon Running Deer’s grandfather. He is based off my own grandfather and my dad. In my upcoming erotica under my pen name, Shaunna Wolf, it would be Kat, the female lead. She is beaten down, and never had love or anyone that accepted her for who she is, and in Life Flight, we see how strong she is.
12. Is there an aspect to writing you find difficult? Making other people understand that when you are writing you are working andthey need to leav you alone. After that, marketing and promotions. They are killer.
13. Do you have any advice for new authors? You hear so many new writers talking about the rules being old fashioned, from grammar ot needing an editor. Don’t listen to that trend. Yes, big name authors break the rules, but they didn’t when they started out, to break the rules you have to know them in the first place.  Learn everything you can about grammar and story structure, then write. And always remember that writing is a job, it’s not your baby, so when reviewers or people don’t like your story it’s not personal. If everyone liked the same book, there would only be one book.
14. If you hadn’t become a writer, what do you imagine yourself doing? I’d probably be living in the woods somewhere, living off the land, but sine I like ot write, and publish I need tech, and to have tech I need to live in the civilized world.
15. Describe your perfect romantic getaway? A camping trip through the wilderness.
16. Now that we've had a chance to get to know you a little bit, tell us about the story you have brought with you today?  Medicine Man I: The Chief of All Time, while part of a series, it is a stand-alone book as well.  The book is a supernatural horror story based on a Blackfeet story, with an element of romance, and dark adventure.
Publisher: Wild Child Publishing.comGenre: Ethnic (American Indian)/Paranormal/Horror with historical and romance elements________________________BLURBIt is strictly believed and understood that a child is the greatest gift from Wakan Tanka, the Great Mystery, in response to many devout prayers, sacrifices, and promises. Therefore the child is considered "sent by Wakan Tanka," through some element—namely the element of human nature.
Robert HigheagleTenton Sioux
Shannon Running Deer left the present behind to live 2000 years in the past. He's accepted his role in 33BC as The Chief of All Time. But life in the past is not as easy as he would like it to be. His wife, Morning Dove, is ready to deliver his child, and the spirits have shown him that all is not right with the coming birth.
So many years in the past, his people should be safe from the ravages of the Europeans. But when time's fickle finger pulls him into her web once again, he comes face to face with a person who shouldn't be on the North American continent for several more centuries.
Pursued by an ancient evil, and confronted with things that don't match the history he knew, his mission to change the past, to save the future, may have already failed . . .________________________EXCERPTFrom Book 2 of the Medicine Man series, Raven
“Always in a hurry.”
Once the steam cleared, my grandfather’s face came into view. His favorite blue-checked flannel shirt, his long white braids–one over each shoulder, and his classic “old Indian” wrinkled face, the same as always. The last time I’d seen him had been when I’d been elected Chief of All Time.
“Grandfather?”
He dribbled more water onto the stones, less this time. “Do I look like your grandmother?”
I let out a small laugh. Yes, he was the man I’d known most my life as my grandfather. In reality, he held the position of Napi, creator of all the Blackfoot people knew. If he were actually my relative, it didn’t matter. He’d filled the role of grandfather to me for so long I had a hard time thinking of him as a “god.” But, here he sat across from me, after he’d vanished half a year ago.
“I see you still have no use for the spirit’s gifts to you,” he said. He settled on the woven floor mat and leaned a bit to the left and passed gas.
“Good to see you as well, Grandfather.”
He made a sound--half grunt, half snort, and dribbled more water on the rocks. I didn’t have any idea if the sound meant agreement or simply discomfort from the hard ground.
Medicine Drummer came back in and placed a large gray stone on the pile. He dribbled water over it, watching me closely. He glanced around the sweat lodge, his gaze darting into the darkest edges, before he took a deep quick breath and left.
“Now, that one, he has use for the spirits–use for their gifts.”
“He’s a good student,” I said, avoiding the trap I’d once regularly fallen into of arguing with him every time he insulted me. A person could learn a lot from him, if they kept their mouth shut and listened for the wisdom in the words–if there were any to be found.
“Well, then, maybe they should have made him chief and let you go back to that modern world you love so much.”
It became my turn to suck in a breath. I thought the issues between my grandfather and I had been resolved. It had seemed he’d found respect for me, and I’d found understanding and acceptance of the old ways he preached to me throughout my youth. I shut my eyes and chanted the words to the spirit guide calling chant. His appearance, spouting his old views of me, only served as a reminder–unless I did everything properly–I wouldn’t receive any guidance.
“Awfully hot in here,” he said.
Trying to ignore him, I chanted louder.
“The spirits aren’t deaf,” he told me.
He wasn’t going away. I opened my eyes. “Grandfather, I am honored by your visit. What is it you wish to tell me?”
“Hurry, hurry, hurry.” He adjusted his position again. “Brother sweat lodge may have crouched on the earth to allow us to find what we needed, but I doubt he meant a person had to sit on rocks.”
To illustrate his point, he held up a large jagged rock. He tossed it over his shoulder where it made a sodden sounding thump against the wall behind him. I’d personally searched the ground for any rocks and debris that would make the floor of the lodge uncomfortable. He found another rock and tossed it across the lodge. I jerked to the side, narrowly avoiding the missile.
I didn’t doubt he could call rocks up out of the earth if he wanted to, but I didn’t want to be their target.
“Grandfather, please.”
Holding a good sized chunk of stone in his hand, he paused mid-aim and stared at me.
“No more rocks. I am listening to you.”
“Phah, I doubt that.” He lowered the rock. When he set it on the ground, the earth opened up and swallowed it. It occurred to me then that the lodge no longer concealed me in total darkness. A small oil stone lamp rested near the pile of heat giving rocks. I glanced toward the doorway, and, when I looked back, fire danced where the rocks had been.
We now sat in a small lodge, with many furs on the floor. Baskets hung from the lodge poles and parafleches lined the northern edge. Where I had to crawl in the sweat lodge, I could have stood to my full height of seven feet in here. I didn’t try it. In a vision state, I would most likely knock my head on the framing of the sweat lodge.
His stomach rumbled.
“Wife,” he called. I expected the woman who had raised my wife–the woman whom my grandfather had married to make her a respectable woman, to appear.
“Wife,” he yelled, louder this time. He shouted for her three more times before he shook his head.
“Where is that woman when a man needs food?” He used a stick to poke at the logs in the fire before he moved off to the side and began to open the parafleches, one by one.
In the first, he found small pebbles. From the second, he withdrew a handful of what looked to be finger bones. From the third, he picked up a live kitten. Its tiny mouth opened and closed in a silent pantomime of meowing.
“Not time for you, yet,” he said and stuffed the kitten back into the hide container.________________________
Find THE CHIEF of ALL TIME at these stores: 
Medicine Man I: The Chief of All Time (Wild Child Publishing): http://www.wildchildpublishing.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=106&products_id=404&zenid=8e8ea1c48ee3fc580ce3355a6fbb25e8Medicine Man I: The Chief of All Time (Amazon Ebook): http://www.amazon.com/The-Chief-Time-Medicine-ebook/dp/B009Z2R3BS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353081294&sr=8-1&keywords=medicine+man+howenMedicine Man I: The Chief of All Time (Amazon Print) : http://www.amazon.com/Medicine-Man-The-Chief-Time/dp/1617980714/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1353081294&sr=8-2&keywords=medicine+man+howenMedicine Man I: The Chief of All Time (B&N Ebook): http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/medicine-man-sr-howen/1113712670?ean=2940015913316Medicine Man I: The Chief of All Time (B&N Print): http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/medicine-man-i-s-r-howen/1113795431?ean=9781617980718Medicine Man I: The Chief of All Time (Kobo ): http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/The-Chief-of-All-Time/book-_hYNNKIra06osXQdjttbtg/page1.html?s=vNIlqpUbIUaJ6gin-i4ZOA&r=1
As you can see, S.r. Howen is very active online. There are many ways you can stay connected with her. Follow the links below:Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/srhowenFacebook Author’s Page: http://www.facebook.com/srhowen1 
Blog: Critters at the Keyboard http://srhowen1.blogspot.com/Author Web page:  http://www.srhowen.com//Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/srhowen/boards/Twitter: https://twitter.com/SRHowenGoodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3119305.Shaunna_WolfBook Blogs: http://bookblogs.ning.com/profile/SRHowenAuthors Den:http://www.authorsden.com/visit/author.asp?id=166698Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/Linked In: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/shawn-rh/54/1a7/9b6

Beautiful Imposter BLOG TOUR starts tomorrow!

Whoo-hoo! Last week's launch party was a huge success. Nearly 200 friends and friends of friends stopped in for a quick hello or visited for a little while, posted a comment, cracked a joke, wished me well or gave me a clap on the back after buying my debut short story, Beautiful Imposter. I know how busy all of you were with your day-to-day so it was a real honor for me that you took the time to remember, and hang out.

But . . . just because the launch is over doesn't mean the celebrations have ended. It's time for the AFTER PARTY!

Tomorrow, I kick off a three-week blog tour of my adult contemporary short, and it's full of great stops with incredible book bloggers. Props and shout outs to them now for hosting me! I've got a blog tour banner on my personal page that bloggers have agreed to share on their pages. Very cool of them!

If you're just catching wind of the tour, be sure to check my FB pages for updates. And, if a calendar wasn't awesome enough, one or two of these awesome bloggers are keeping the details of my stops a secret from me. Which if you know me at all is like telling me I have the option of choosing what's behind Secret Door No. 5. How I love me a good surprise!

I'm a curious person by nature. As a kid I'd go off on some wild adventure, all suited up. Depending on the afternoon, I would either be slaying dragons and rescuing damsels, or flying into outer space and blasting through enemy lines, or unloading a six-shooter into the tyrant preying on the decent folk of a dusty frontier town.

I'm a far cry from those nostalgic years of my youth, but the quest for adventure remains no less the same. Beautiful Imposter marks my first departure from writing adventure, fantasy and science-fiction stories, none of which have seen the light of day. 

I may publish something in that genre but for now I'm focusing my time on getting the word out about Beautiful Imposter!

Since its release, it has garnered great reviews on Amazon (US and UK), Smashwords, Goodreads, Facebook, and on book blogs.

One of the aspects of the story ARC readers seem to comment on most is the "initial BANG" and the unexpected "twist." It's shocking, but then again, it's all part of the drama these characters endure for the sake of love. As you'll discover, Beautiful Imposter is more than a story about infidelity. It is a story about love, anger, grief, forgiveness, and compassion.

Reading those early reviews and the reviews since have given me a great boost. Gave me a wry smile too. In case you've got the a bug of curiosity buzzing around your ear, read what some of those reviewers have had to say:

"It was Captivating, Heartbreaking & Tragic.. ..a story of Surviving, Healing & Forgiving......learning to move forward with Friendship, Love & Hope. Truly Touching in every way!" — Amy. 

"This is a short story, a novella, full of sadness, sweetness and an interesting story. I read it last night in about an hour, it was a page turner from every point of view." — Sue McG. 

"Beautiful Imposter is a short and sweet story that gives us a little taste of everything. All in all, I enjoyed the book; but I enjoyed it more the second time. This is a quick read so I encourage you to feel the book as you read it, and reread it to discover things you didn’t see or understand before." — Joe Cool Review.

Here's the calendar:
Sept. 3 ➤ TeaWithTheBookNerd www.teawiththebooknerd.blogspot.comSept. 4 ➤ Mia Downing http://miadowning.blogspot.com/Sept. 6 ➤ Melissa ToppenSept. 9 ➤ Shooting the Breeze http://chasitybreeze.blogspot.comSept. 11 ➤ Crash the Party http://indieauthorcrash.wordpress.comSept. 12 ➤ Delisha's Place http://delisha1964.wordpress.com
Sept. 16 ➤ Tara Mill's Romance http://www.taramillsromance.com/index.html

If this is the first time you and I are meeting, let me say thanks for stopping by. Don't be a stranger. I've got a personal FB page here and a FB author page here. 

Sin cranks up the passion in 'Undeniable'

Indigo SinAt first glance, Sin's unlikely hero Trent seems like a guy who has been down on his luck a little too long. You've seen the signs before: Head held low. Grumpy. Rough around the edges. Distant from the world . . . but when his life takes a turn down that oh-so-familiar road of disappointment . . . frustration and indifference and the alternative kick him into gear. He either plays with the same deck of cards the universe has dealt or he takes a chance on the unexpected. Undeniable is a solid trek about a guy who just didn't care to make the right choices early and often enough, until he cannot turn away from the one thing that will ultimately save him. And that's where the story finds its pulse. Trent fights back with all the strength and will to live he can muster. Serving time in prison has apparently taught him something valuable. Question is: Would you agree with him? Is prison merely a place where people stew in their mistakes or is it a gym that can mold some men into something greater, something secure, something undeniable? Can the gentleman be reborn?


1. Before you tell us about your book, why don’t you share a little bit about yourself. I write erotic romance for Horny Devil Publishing, and as of right now, I have eight stories published.  I live on a farm in the Midwest with my husband and three kids, and I love it!  I’ve been writing for about three years, mostly in the realm of contemporary erotic romance.
2. Outside of writing, what sort of activities do you enjoy? I make beaded jewelry, I crochet, I LOVE to read, and I have a serious addiction to browsing Pinterest.
3. Do you have a favorite food, snack, and/or beverage? Pepsi would be my favorite beverage (of the non-alcoholic variety), and I could probably eat Chinese food until I exploded. So bad for me, but so darn good!

4. Authors draw from a wide variety of experiences, from their own lives as well as the lives of others. Which is the richest source for you? Hmm, I would have to say that some of my writing stems from my own life, but mostly I get ideas and inspiration from everyday things.  Things I see on TV, things I see while out and about, and photos that I happen to come across.  It usually just takes something small to trigger an idea.
5. Of the stories you have written so far, which is your favorite and why? Well, if you mean ones I’ve already published, I’d have to say Undeniable, my most recent release.  Trent and Hazel are so wonderful together, and the romance is beautiful.  Otherwise, my current WIP is probably my best work yet.  I can’t wait to finish that one to submit it.  I find that I improve with every story I write.
6. Embarrassing moment. Do you have one? Or better yet, are you sure you want to put it out there? Ugh…on the way back to town from a dance in Junior High, I suddenly felt ill, and threw up on the bus.  Imagine a buss full of Junior High students going, “Eww, who puked!?!”  And you’re the culprit.  So freaking embarrassing.
7. What genres do you write for? Are there any that you haven’t that you would like to explore? I write contemporary erotic romance mostly.  I would love to be able to write paranormal or fantasy, but for some reason my brain refuses to cooperate and assist me with writing it.  I have no idea why, but I’m terrible at paranormal.
8. What advice would you give new authors? Stay strong, learn how to grow a thick skin, and keep writing.  Not everyone is going to like what you write, and not everyone will enjoy everything you put out there.  Remember to write for yourself as well.  As long as you’re proud of what you do, you’re already ahead of the game.
9. Now that we’ve had a chance to get to know you, tell us about the latest story you have out now? My latest story is called UNDENIABLE, a contemporary erotic romance starring Trent Carpenter and Hazel Penske.  Trent has a past, as many of us do, but he’s not what everyone thinks he is.  There are reasons for what he did, and when he comes face to face with the woman he thought he would never see again…he has some difficult decisions to make.________________________BLURB Trent Carpenter is on the verge of giving up, after a series of consequences ruins the bright future he once had.

After being transferred to a new location for work, Hazel Penske thinks it will just be another routine stay until a ghost from the past appears, complicating everything.

In a maelstrom of passion, they must overcome wrongs and make amends if they want to grasp any semblance of a future together. Secrets will be revealed, but can they handle the truth? ________________________
Find UNDENIABLE at these stores:
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00EH1CS4Y/ref=s9_simh_gw_p351_d0_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=1DHX035CKZ6TRHE20NV3&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=1389517282&pf_rd_i=507846Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/undeniable-indigo-sin/1116394754?ean=2940148722830 ARE: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-undeniable-1267593-149.htmliTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/undeniable/id687370760?mt=11

Daddy, they're called tö-mangos

It never ceases to amaze me how children use the sounds and words in their library to express an idea or a word they cannot quite yet pronounce. Psychologists and therapists have a phrase for this. I couldn't tell you what that is right now because I'm too busy enjoying the smile on my face.

I can't help it.

If you've ever had kids you know what this feels like. You remember with perfect clarity the words your kids said to convey something they couldn't say. All kids do this.

For the life of her, my four-year-old daughter just can't pronounce the word "flamingo."

She says, tö-mango.

The first time I heard it I didn't understand what she was saying, but the conviction in her locked knees and in her scrunched up face told me that I had better understand what she was saying and fast, or else. Tö-mangos are serious business. And they are not to be trifled with.

"Daddy . . ."

"They are pink!

"They are pretty!

"They can stand on one leg!

"And, they are pink!

"And they have feathers just like birds.

"Is a tö-mango a bird?"

She explained all the things a tö-mango can do. She even stood on one foot to illustrate her point, in case I hadn't ever seen one before. Mind you, we had just gotten back from one of our weekly trips to SeaWorld. She spent about ten minutes watching them, studying them, wondering why they were pink, because some of them were not and their feathers were still very dark. She couldn't stop talking about tö-mangos.

I couldn't understand what she was talking about. I asked her to repeat the word over and over.

Sometimes being a parent sucks.

It occurred to me at that moment that I might have to ask my oldest daughter to check my status with the Wizarding World because for a brief second I felt like a muggle, dull, unimaginative, and unable to decode the simplest, most beautiful word my daughter could say in place of flamingos. I felt like such a dope.

She looked at me with her four-year-old eyes and with all the seriousness and belief in her heart she summoned the sass to say: Daddy, you know. You've seen them. T Ö-MANG-GOES. They're big pink birds!

I looked to my wife hoping she could decode. She was even more lost than I was.

Tö-mango, I repeated in my head. Tö-mango. Tö-mango.

My three-year-old son popped up from the couch and shouted from the headrest, "Tow Mater."

"Not Cars!" my daughter shouted.

He leaped into a round of Tow Mater. Singing and laughing and singing some more. "Tow Mater. Tow Mater. Tow Mater. Tooooo Mater!" My son's favorite Disney character is Mater from Cars. Not that that needed clarification. But, you know, just in case I lost you.

I was in stitches but I couldn't laugh out loud for fear that I might upset my daughter. Tö-mangos are serious business!

"Tö-mango," my daughter said, annoyed with her little brother. "Pink birds, daddy—"

And then the light went on. I had an Edison Moment. Flamingo! "Oh, you were saying flamingo."

She nodded her head, relieved, grinning so brightly that I could count every baby tooth of hers.

And then, I asked her if she knew why flamingos were pink.

She shook her head. "No . . . Why are they pink, daddy?"

"Because they like to eat shrimp."

And then her eyes went wide. Wider than you can possibly imagine. Wider still. Behind those bright beautiful eyes I saw awe. I saw adventure. I saw the plate of shrimps she had eaten the night before, reappear in her mind. I saw her count them with her eyes. She was elated.

She loves to eat shrimp. Can't eat enough of the shelly crustaceans.

"Tö-mangoes like shrimp, like me?"

"Yup. Just like you."

She turned it on me, and asked, "How many shrimps do they need to turn pink?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. How many do you think it takes?"

"100!" she exclaimed.

That was good enough for me.

"Will I turn pink too," she asked, "if I ate that many shrimps?"

But she never gave me a chance to answer her. She skipped off and ran over to her mom to tell her that tö-mangoes eat shrimp. "Just like me!"

"Can we have shrimp for dinner? Please. But not the crunchy ones. Those are gross! And not the spicy ones. Those are hot! I like shrimp. Just shrimp."

I found a flamingo feather the other day. I gave it to her. It's sitting in a special place, right next to her Harry Potter wand, a curled up twig we found on one of our walks, right next to her books were her imagination sleeps until it flies off again.

Reeve spins dark, offbeat tale in 'Reaper'

T.L. ReeveStriking a deal with the devil so you can atone for the mistakes of someone else can and will lead to dire consequences, for you and most likely the people around you. Don't believe me? Ask author T.L. Reeve. She's published a story, Reaper's Mercy, that wrestles with this very dilemma. How far would you go to save your father from eternal damnation? Not far? Not far enough? Too far? Before she answers any of those chilling questions, I've asked her a few questions of my own. So, pull up a chair, adjust your screen brightness, and have a read. You might just learn a thing or two on how to avoid gambling away your immortal soul . . . to that guy with the brimstone breath.


1. Before you tell us about your book, why don’t you share a little bit about yourself. Well, I am a single mom of a beautiful little girl. I was born and raised in sunny SoCal and spent most of my time on the beach. Didn’t matter if it was hot or cold. I also like to work on muscle cars. Nothing like getting greased up while you’re elbow deep in a big block engine.
2. Outside of writing, what sort of activities do you enjoy? I like camping and fishing. I read and draw some. I’m not very good with the drawing thing, but I do enjoy it. I like to get outside, I don’t care where I go, but I just have to get away.
3. Do you have a favorite food, snack, and/or beverage? Coke and corn chips or pretzels, that’s it.

4. Authors draw from a wide variety of experiences, from their own lives as well as the lives of others. Which is the richest source for you? I think I pull tons of stuff from my life, but I also listen to others. The stories that people can tell you about their lives, especially older people, is just so rich and ripe with information and knowledge.
5. Of the stories you have written so far, which is your favorite and why? Reaper’s Mercy. I believe that I stepped so far out of my box writing this one, that I’m so proud of myself. The characters are different and story just builds upon itself until the final scene. When you’re done, you can’t believe you read it all. I’m not giving anything away LOL!
6. Embarrassing moment. Do you have one? Or better yet, are you sure you want to put it out there? I do. I don’t mind sharing either. It’s been 20 years since it happened. In high school I was in drama. We did a Christmas pageant and I played a few characters in it, plus I was also in band. Once we were done with the music part of the production, I had to change out of my uniform and into my costume. I had 3 mins. I needed more time. It takes longer than that to get dressed, trust me. A band uniform is the most difficult suit you’ll even attempt to wear. Anyway, I went out on stage sans shoes since I didn’t have time to change fully. When the music started and we had to dance, yours truly slipped on the highly glossed stage. Oh yes people, I face planted. Full on went for it. If they would have scored it, it would have been a 10. For the rest of the year, I wasn’t TL, I was the kid who fell on stage. Ah, high school, how I don’t miss you. LOL!
7. What genres do you write for? Are there any that you haven’t that you would like to explore? Better question, which one don’t I write in. I like being diverse and able to adapt to any situation. The genres I’d like to work in are post-apocalyptic, (I love Resident Evil, and zombies. I love the thought of a government super bug wiping out the human race type books), and westerns. I can’t write a western to save my life.
8. What advice would you give new authors? Keep writing and ask questions. Listen to your editor, don’t fight with them, they’re trying to help you out. If you’re not sure of something, go to someone in the company, your EIC, anyone and ask questions. There are no stupid questions, only those not asked.
9. Now that we’ve had a chance to get to know you, tell us about the latest story you have out now? Reaper’s Mercy. The story is about Alastair and Kimber. Kimber is just your ordinary Joe trying to make it in the world. His father has disowned him and he’s okay with that. He rather enjoys it, really. But even when things are crappy, they can get worse, and that’s where Alastair comes in. He’s a reaper. Kimber’s father broke a contract with the devil and it is Kimber’s soul Alastair is after. However, Kimber has been given 72hr to prove his father is hell bent on seeing him die. The only hitch, Death has to stay with Kimber. (Not going to spoil it, you’ll need to read the book.)
________________________
EXCERPTDeath was at the door for me. I knew it. His shadowy, ominous figure cast long shadows against my front door with each burst of lightning from overhead. I cowered; sliding down the door as lightning flashed again, and thunder clapped mere seconds afterward. My number was up. The sands of time had spent right down to the last grain, and I wasn’t ready.  Glancing up at the clock on the wall facing the fireplace, I noted the time. Twelve forty-seven. I burned it into my memory.
Watching the second hand strike each second it passed, I shook with fear, petrified by what would happen next. The only chance I had was to answer the door, embrace death, and go on to the hereafter or wherever the hell we go when we die. But I didn’t want to. I hadn’t lived yet. I-I-I hadn’t met the person I was supposed to fall in love with. I hadn’t done anything special with my life. So, why was Death standing on my stoop with rain falling around him while the raging storm grew angrier by the second? It made no sense. Momentary confusion swamped my brain. None of this made any sense whatsoever. I was panicking. I knew that instinctively, yet I couldn’t muster the care to worry about what I must have looked like at the moment. Quite frankly, it didn’t matter either. I was deader than a doornail. Pushing up daisies. Tiptoeing through the tulips.
________________________
Visit T.L. Reeve at her website: http://authortlreeve.wix.com/tlreeve Follow T.L. Reeve on Twitter www.twitter.com/tl_reeve
Like T.L. Reeve on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/reeve.tl

Never a shortage of sass

Around here, we never have a shortage of sass.

The twenty-foot sass-o-meter that doubles as a load-bearing beam might as well be measuring the oxygen levels in the air. At least that way if we ever found a way to bottle it at the source our sass might be useful someday . . . oh, let's say, to a handful of electric engineers who figured out how to turn laughter into electricity á la Monster's Inc. or in the form of concentrate, dehydrated into powder, we capsuled, bottled, and then sold over the counter.

(Taps chin . . . hmmm, not a bad idea actually . . . )

Between the teenager—she's had a quick mind as far back as I can remember—and my four-year-old daughter and my three-year-old son, not a thirty-second goes by that not one of them is snapping back a deft snark, or wry retort, or my favorite: outright defiance.

Sometimes I laugh. Sometimes I snicker. And, then, sometimes I just want to throttle them . . . but what's the point? I'm not one to teach my kids to be quiet. And certainly I don't want them preferring rude behavior to civilized discourse, but a little self-worth this early goes a long way later to standing up for what's important in life.

We're raising some smart kids. Of course they are. Name me a kid who isn't smart. I'm not saying my kids are smart because they're my kids. This isn't some sort of parental blinder. Point of fact, not one of my kids is biologically mine. Not one of them carries 25 percent of my genes. Cool, huh?

Turns out my boys have . . . what's the technical term? . . . bent propellers? Eh, could be worse.

The oldest of my three kids is my stepdaughter, my wife's daughter. The younger two were adopted. We know the family. We've become very close since the adoptions. We see them as often as we can, and over the past five years we've started to pick up on the similarities the siblings share.

Truth is, all kids are smart.

And some of them have very quick mouths, including my wife's daughter.

On our way to SeaWorld last week, she and my wife were catching up with each other. It's not often they get to do that, now that my wife's schedule has become increasingly more organized and filled with work, school, assignments, and personal time (whenever she can squeeze that in!).

During this back and forth conversation my wife asked her daughter to please hand her the drink in the cup holder. I don't remember what it was. It could have been Mountain Dew, or it could have been coffee, or it could have been Fiji water, or it could have been something else. My wife took a sip and had an immediate reaction.

She tasted hair.

We exclaimed: Gross!

To which the teenager promptly added, "You know, family members are five times more likely to ingest hair from each other than from friends or acquaintances."

Now, I have to tell you she has these kinds of facts at her finger tips. They didn't stop with that one.

She went on to say "It's also 3 times more likely that the hair you're ingesting is not facial hair." For the sake of your appetite I won't disclose what kind of hair. I'm still cringing.

This factoid was followed with, "The average person ingests 13 pieces of hair that is not their own every year." Okay, I have to tell you by now I'm feeling queasy. I'm driving bee-tee-dub.

My wife is going through the 20 Shades of Green now. If that wasn't enough, her daughter says, "So, the next time you guys have, ahem, you know—"

"No! We don't need you to tell us!"

Teenagers.

Sassy. Witty. Sneaky little . . . funny ass people.

Chore Day is a beast

There comes a time in every domestic dad's tenure that he realizes he is ill-equipped for the day. Not the work day. Not your average week day. Chore Day. The day that every parent dreads, but most especially dads. I won't even pretend to say that I like Chore Day. That's the day, usually a Saturday, when all the chores that couldn't get done during the week get done.

Chore Day is a beast.

It's the day I realize that I don't have sufficient cleaning supplies to get the chores completed on schedule. It's why I pushed the chores to begin with. It's why I dread that day. It's precisely why I avoid Chore Day—

Unless of course I'm going to play a background movie to keep my sanity. Background movie? Simple. I'll tell you. It's a movie I've seen many, many times over, such as Star Wars: A New Hope, or Die Hard, or Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country, or Marvel's The Avengers, or The Lord of the Rings (which by the way is a good indicator for how much time it takes to clean the kid's room, because if the room is in an epic state of mess then I'll have earned that glass of merlot).

A background movie does not require me to engage with it. It's not Schindler's List. It's not The Pianist. It's not Inception. It's not freakin' Gone With The Wind. It's easy. Something I can quip with. Something I can listen to without getting distracted. It's . . . in the background. It's a no brainer. I'm sure you deciphered my code word by then, but it gave me a chance to let you into the mind of a Zany Adventurous Domestic Dad!

Chore Day begins with an easy breakfast. By easy, I mean that the breakfast requires the least amount of cookware and dishes. In other words, scrambled eggs and potatoes. Eggs get cracked. Milk gets stirred into the mix. Potatoes are chopped or cubed. Never shredded. Hash browns are messy.

This day is also the day the kids grumble about most. They don't get to pick something from the breakfast menu. Now, I'm not saying I'll cook whatever they want, however they want. This isn't Burger King. They don't get to have it their way. And this isn't a Five-Star hotel. I'm not going to deliver a cart upon which are platters of breakfast foods, like eggs, pancakes, french toast, croissants, and fresh fruit, neatly wrapped and covered along with polished silverware nestled around coffee, juice or milk.

This breakfast is intended to be cooked and served fast. Naturally, the potatoes will take the longest, but I've got a system down. Preheated oil cooks those chopped spuds well.

As I grab ingredients from the refrigerator, I plan ahead for lunch or dinner. By this time I've already taken a survey of the house. I know which rooms will need attention, and which rooms will require the most manpower.

If we have hot dogs in the refrigerator then lunch will be an easy fix. If we don't, then my next stop is the freezer for chicken. Takes a good hour or two to thaw chicken. If I time that well I can tack on an extra hour or two to the chore schedule, which usually means an extra load of laundry because once the chicken thaws I can switch the clothes out of the washer to the dryer. That 45-minute timer is almost exactly the amount of time I need to make mushroom chicken over rice with two sides of veggies.

While everyone is eating, that load of laundry comes out and gets hung. I never fold in the laundry room. A complete waste of time. If the fabric softener hasn't done its job there's very little that I can do to move that along.

Plus, and perhaps most importantly, when the kids are eating that means they're not screaming at each other. Lunch is a few minutes of bliss. Oh, don't get me wrong. And don't be fooled by the power of chicken over rice. Kids that want to get their way will do just about anything to make their case, even scream. But with a forkful of mushroom sauce and rice it can be difficult, especially when I threaten quiet or no Treat Drink. Treat Drink is non-alcoholic Sangria brewed and bottled by Peñafiel. If you've ever had a glass of the bubbly you'll know what I'm talking about. It's usually located in the soda aisle, near the Henry Weinhard's brand of soda drinks.

By mid afternoon I usually have a handle on Stage One of Chore Day. Stage One consists of the kitchen, the living room, the hallway and the bathroom. Stage Two is where the real fun begins. The kid's room.

I leave it last because sometimes the kids are willing to help pick up their mess, especially if I've enticed them with Treat Drink. Right about now parents are either saying to themselves, bribery works magic, or you're in for it, dad. Giving a kid a cup of liquid sugar is a one-way ticket to a late night sleeping schedule. And they would be right, except with Treat Drink pulsing in their system they're running around, playing all sorts of games, including my favorite, Might Morphin' Power Rangers, in which I get cast as the villain. And since I'm cleaning the house, you can bet your sweet rangers that I make a game out of cleaning up the Ranger's hideout.

At this point I've lost control of the television. My wife has taken it over and has started watching any number of shows, starting with Discovery Channel or Lifetime, whichever she's in the mood for. I really don't care. She works hard. She's up at 7:00 a.m. four days a week, and for the latter part of the work week, beginning on Tuesday afternoon she's nonstop until Thursday night. She's home from school about 11 p.m. And if she's feeling up for it she'll take the teenager to school Friday morning. The teenager, she, will undoubtedly start her negotiating strategy the day before, reminding her mom that she's had to walk to and from school the entire week, and that it would be nice if she could just get dropped off.

This usually works. Although lately not so much.

My wife is getting more responsibilities at her internship site. Her supervisor really likes her, and so do a number of clients the site serves. So, the last thing I'm going to do is commandeer the television.

On a swift heel spin I dart across the room, check every corner of the house one last time, and with a smile that's been brewing since the early morning, I finally drop down into the couch. Two seconds later, the kids are up my ears, wanting this and needing that. I've got about a ten-second recharge in my batteries and then I'm off again, on another zany adventure with my kids as they tug me into their room asking me to play back any one of Disney's or Pixar's films. Toy Story 3 as well as Tangled are among the kids favorites. If they're in the mood, it's Jurassic Park.

Now we're talking!