Mara Valderran's Blog, page 3

The WFH Mama: Miss Rachel Must be Witchcraft

If you haven’t heard about Songs for Littles and don’t have a little one obsessed with Miss Rachel and her team of singers and puppets, then I’m going to assume you don’t have an internet connection. And also wonder how you are reading my blog…

If you are indeed wondering who Ms. Rachel is, allow me the pleasure to introduce you. Rachel Accurso is pre-school teacher in NYC married to a Broadway composer, Aron Accurso. When their son had speech delays, she found that there weren’t any television o...

Introducing the #YAIndiePath Series

In case you missed it, I’m a young adult indie author. What does that mean? It means I’m not traditionally published. It also means I’m part of an ever-growing community of authors who have chosen to take full control of their books by publishing on their own instead of getting agents and going through publishing houses. Some people might also call us crazy, which might be a valid assessment at times.

I’m not here to tell you which path is right for you. I’m here to take you through my journey as...

TV Review: Shadow and Bone Season 2

 

I mean, you probably shouldn't read it anyway if you haven't even watched season 1? so....

I love book adaptations. I’m a rare breed, I know. But I look at boom adaptations as one really long book trailer, which is why I usually read the book after watching the adaptation. Sometimes it works in reverse when my favorite series is adapted into a movie after I’ve read it (here’s looking at you, Vampire Academy movie that I will never forgive). Since I tend to not read a lot mainstream, this doesn’t...

Book Review: A Hunt of Shadows by Elise Kova

I love when you see a character’s natural progression into becoming a badass. Not a complete change to their personality, but true growth into their natural state of badassdom. That’s what we see happening with Eira in book 2. In the first book, she’s hardly a meek little mouse. Quiet, yes, but only because she’d been shunned since losing control of her magic and accidentally killing someone.

That’s the thing about Eira. The shit she has been through is real and it’s tragic and it’s heavy. Her is...

The WFH Mama: Products and Methods for Sleeping

Pretty much every product review you get from me is going to come with the disclaimer that every baby is different. That’s exactly why I’m still posting about products that didn’t work for me. These are still great products – but my baby noped right out of them. Your baby might think one of these wifty things is the best thing since sliced bread. Or in a baby’s case, the best thing since… a binky? A blanky? Fill in the blank for whatever your baby loves. 

In the first few months, my main concern was how to get my baby to sleep somewhere other than my arms. I eventually lost this battle and embraced working one handed, but there are several things you can try. Here are some that I tried, and I’d love for you fellow WFH parents to tell us what you’ve tried in the comments. 

Bassinet/Crib:

I already mentioned that there was no way my anxiety would let me put her in another room to sleep even if we did have the space. Since we have a tiny two bedroom apartment, that wasn’t something we could even try. My 3 stepkids have one room when they are with us (thank you, triple bunk bed designer for making that possible), so we knew our baby girl was going to be in our room with us. Since there was no room for a crib, I picked out a bedside bassinet. 

Swings:

We tried two different swings. One was a MamaRoo gifted to us from a friend who swore by it. The other was one I had already purchased by Graco. With either one, the moment I buckled Baby in, no matter how tired she was, suddenly she was wide awake and mad. These were both easy to assemble and move around. They had great features as well. But Baby had no effs to give about the music, swinging, or vibration. Was it Mommy’s chest? Then nope.

   

Carseat:

Good ole car-colepsi for the win. That’s what my husband refers to it as. We have a Graco infant carseat and stroller that you can pop it in and out of. Even now at 8 months old, this is pretty much the only other place besides the bed or our arms where she will fall asleep. But only if you prop her bottle up and she falls asleep with it.

Boppy: 

We still have and use this boppy. I have to admit that I never used it for nursing. I have a short torso so it was massively uncomfortable for me. My long ass husband, on the other hand, still uses it to give her a bottle and get some Daddy snuggles when he gets home from work. 

Hey Bear:

You’ll see me mention this one again later, but the Lanterns with Celestial Music is like magic. She didn’t care for any of the other videos, but this music and the hypnotic lanterns soothed her to sleep within five minutes every time I turned it on. It doesn’t work as well now that she is older. She watches the lanterns and thinks they are funny. But if I turn it on my phone where she can’t watch, that music still does it. It definitely puts me and my husband to sleep too. See for yourself:

Cry It Out:

Don’t come at me. I’m talking about me. Yes, there were many nights where I lost my shit and started crying because I was beyond exhausted and couldn’t “sleep when the baby sleeps” like everyone kept telling me to. 1) I had to work. 2) I can’t sleep on demand like that. Maybe it’s my inner toddler, but if you tell me to go to sleep, then I’m probably going to stay up for another hour or two… Crying sometimes actually worked for Baby too because when I started crying, she would stop. She would just look at me and smile. Which, of course, made me cry harder. But then we would both sleep.

True story. #momlife

What methods or products did you try? 

Book Review: Destruction by Sharon Bayliss

This book is a whirlwind of emotions right from the start, and continues to build intensity with each chapter. The story starts with a bang as David Vandergraff gets the phone call he has been waiting for and dreading for eleven years--the call that tells him what happened to his missing children.

His secret missing children that his wife knows nothing about.

His secret missing children that also happen to be wizards.

As David's world begins to unravel, he discovers that he wasn't the only one in his marriage with secrets. His wife Amanda has her fair share as well. And not just that she is also a dark wizard.

This book might have wizards and magic, but the story is in this family and the problems they have, which are very rooted in reality. Their disfunction makes them feel so normal, but when you add magic to the mix, disfunction doesn't cover it. The characters are beautifully flawed, and sometimes do unforgivable things, but you still find yourself rooting for them. The Vandergraff kids aren't just accessories to David and Amanda's story, but are integral parts of the whole, and have their own enriching plots that will tug at your heart. The demons they are all facing are more within themselves than some evil wizard out to get them. They are their own villains, which makes the face off with the real villain so much more intense. Even if they win, will they truly win? Or will they be their own defeat?

Right when the plot heads in one direction, Sharon Bayliss throws you for a loop. Predictable is not in her vocabulary, that's for sure. Definitely a must read, and can't wait for more.
ABOUT THE BOOK:
Introducing a new dark wizard family drama, Destruction by Sharon Bayliss, Book One in The December People Series.

David Vandergraff wants to be a good man. He goes to church every Sunday, keeps his lawn trim and green, and loves his wife and kids more than anything. Unfortunately, being a dark wizard isn't a choice.
Eleven years ago, David's secret second family went missing. When his two lost children are finally found, he learns they suffered years of unthinkable abuse. Ready to make things right, David brings the kids home even though it could mean losing the wife he can’t imagine living without. 
Keeping his life together becomes harder when the new children claim to be dark wizards. David believes they use this fantasy to cope with their trauma. Until, David's wife admits a secret of her own—she is a dark wizard too, as is David, and all of their children.  

Now, David must parent two hurting children from a dark world he doesn’t understand and keep his family from falling apart. All while dealing with the realization that everyone he loves, including himself, may be evil.

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THE BOOK SPOTAn independent family-owned bookstore. The ONLY place to buy signed copies!
BOOK PEOPLEA locally owned book store in Austin, Texas.
AMAZON
BARNES AND NOBLE
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sharon Bayliss is the author of The December People Series and  The Charge . When she’s not writing, she enjoys living happily-ever-after with her husband and two young sons. She can be found eating Tex-Mex on patios, wearing flip-flops, and playing in the mud (which she calls gardening). She only practices magic in emergencies.

www.sharonbayliss.com -  @SharonBayliss -  https:// www.facebook.com/authorsharonbayliss

Book Review: Sidekick by Auralee Wallace

Right from the start, you are hooked in with Bremy's razor sharp wit, delivery of great one-liners, and the clever approach to this story. Bremy has left her life as the spoiled daughter of a rich corporate billionaire after discovering that Daddy dearest isn't so dear after all. In fact, he's pretty evil. Resolving to rectify all the bad karma her father has brought down on her life with his evil enterprise, Bremy leaves her life of wealth and comfort to start over and find a way to support the twin sister she was forced to leave behind. 

Bremy approaches everything in her messed up life with a tongue in cheek attitude. She's stubborn and determined, and completely aware of how much trouble those two things can get her in. Especially when she ends up putting her life on the line to save others, and gets in the way of the city's resident superhero, Ryder. In one instant, Bremy knows how to make everything better and pretty much forces herself on a very reluctant Ryder. 

Their interactions were hilarious. The way Auralee Wallace was able to convey so much of Ryder's personality without having her say much at all was really great. It all played out like a movie. I wish I could give this book ten stars, because that's really what it deserves. There wasn't a single instance where I felt pulled out of the story or bored. The action is well-paced, the villains exactly what you would expect in the comic book world (a little twisted, maybe a tad cheesy at times, but with interesting backgrounds and motives), the narrative sassy and funny...I could go on and on. But I will say that Auralee Wallace has made a fan out of me. I can't wait to see what else she has to offer.

Heroes meets Kick-Ass in this brilliant and hilarious debut about a girl who just wants to save the world...

Bremy St James, daughter of billionaire Atticus St James, has been cut off from the family fortune and is struggling to survive in a world that no longer holds its breath every time she buys a new outfit. To make matters worse, her twin sister is keeping secrets, loan sharks are circling, and the man of her dreams — a newspaper reporter — is on assignment to bring down everyone with the last name St James.

Things are certainly looking bleak for the down-and-out socialite until a good deed throws her into the path of the city’s top crime-fighter, Dark Ryder. Suddenly, Bremy has a new goal: apprentice to a superhero, and start her own crime-fighting career.

Ryder has no need for a sidekick, but it turns out the city needs Bremy’s help. Atticus St James is planning the crime of the century, and Bremy may be the only one able to get close enough to her father to stop him.

Now all she needs to do is figure out this superhero thing in less than a month, keep her identity secret from the man who could very well be The One, and save the city from total annihilation.

Well, no one ever said being a superhero would be easy...

Amazon  Barnes & Noble  Apple iBooks 
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Auralee Wallace has played many roles in her life, including college professor, balloon seller, and collections agent. She is now living her dream of writing humorous women’s fiction. When this semi-natural blonde mother of three children (and psychiatric nurse to two rescue cats) isn’t writing or playing soccer, she can be found watching soap operas with lurid fascination and warring with a family of peregrine falcons for the rights to her backyard.

http://auraleewallace.com/
https://twitter.com/AuraleeWallace
https://www.facebook.com/auraleewallace.author

TV Review: Queen Charlotte (A Bridgerton Story)

Disclaimer: This is NOT a spoiler free review, but nothing major like a certain revelation about Lady Danbury that was revealed (WOH). If you've heard of the Mad King George, then you probably won't feel spoiled. Or if you've watched Bridgerton and paid any attention to the relationship between Queen Charlotte and King George. 

TLDR: Don't go into this expecting some period fluff filled with sex and romance, but do go into this getting ready to have your eyes opened to representation and your heart broken by mental illness. 

 

I have a lot of thoughts and emotions about this show, none of which I was expecting to have. Sure, I enjoy the Bridgerton series. But to me, it's no Stargate. Stargate evokes all kinds of feelings from me no matter how many times I rewatch it. I'm a fangirl, but not a Bridgerton fangirl. I've always been more into Fantasy and Sci-fi than Romance. But Period Romance has a certain draw for me. Maybe it's my obsession with Jane Austen.

Bridgerton has well rounded characters and emotional stories, but nothing like Queen Charlotte. She's a fun character on Bridgerton, but I found myself downright engrossed in her story during Queen Charlotte. She's of Moor blood. Quick history lesson that I learned when I heard about the fuss over Gwen being cast as a black woman on Merlin (insert huge eyeroll over that mattering): Moors were what POC were referred to in the 17th century. (read more here) What does that mean? It means having her as queen is a big effing deal.

Queen Charlotte doesn't shy away from that BFD at all. We see the reality of the social divides caused by skin color in talk about "our side" and "their side" as well as dismissal that a man of the same money, breed, and education can't possibly be an equal simply because he has darker skin. Living in the south, this mentality isn't different from what we see here just because you slap a British accent on it. 

The eye opener for me was the raw emotions evoked from seeing a queen with darker skin. It wasn't just how Agatha tried to convey what she represented to the new queen, but more to do with how the other POC looked at Queen Charlotte at every turn. It wasn't the usual fangirl awe depicted when in the presence of royalty, but of pride and pure joy of seeing her--the kind of joy that comes from someone constantly cast aside finally being seen. We see the ripples of representation and not only the joy that brings, but the fear that it will be snatched away as well. 

As a white woman, that's not something I can fully comprehend. I can't appreciate the impact it has on a young girl to finally see her favorite Disney princess look like her, or for a man or woman of color to always be looked down upon (if they are even seen at all) until their queen is crowned. Queen Charlotte explores representation from so many different angles and probably with subtler ways that I might not recognize. Even the queen herself doesn't fully grasp the importance of her role and being the first of her kind, as Agatha puts it. Maybe that's her life of privilege showing or perhaps her young age--probably both. 

Granted, our young queen is also pretty heavily distracted by her own issues at home once George's mental illness is revealed. And now we're onto the second thing I appreciated about this show: the way mental illness effects the people around you. Now, I don't mean that in a bad way. When you love someone, you're in it together for the good, the bad, and the in between. But more what I'm referring to is the way loved ones try to help. First, you have the desperate dowager princess doing what any mother might do and desperately trying to find a cure for the disease they don't understand and protecting him by hiding it from everyone. Then you have the best friend (or in this case, manservant) who doesn't know what to do but shield and enable George as best he can. And then the wife, who believes that love can cure him. 

I get that this is a period piece and there was a lot that they didn't understand about mental health or medicine in general (leeches??), but that part still resonates. Especially when you lose someone to a mental illness or addiction. There's this feeling of responsibility, like if you love them hard enough then you can cure them. It's heartbreaking to watch Charlotte in the first stages of this process that will last her entire life even as she shoulders a nation and the responsibilities of the crown. This balancing act and the grief that comes along with not being able to heal him with her love gives a new depth and understanding to her character on Bridgerton. She's not a hard person. She's a person that life has been hard to, and one that has to mask that pain behind her regal air. I'm looking forward to seeing more of her in Bridgerton season 3. 

Book Review: A Trial of Sorcerers (Book One) by Elise Kova

Disclaimer: This is a spoiler free review and might seem like jibberish until you read the book, which I obviously recommend that you do. 
What in the name of Cedric Diggory hell did I just read?
Cedric Diggory Hufflepuff GIFfrom Cedric Diggory GIFs
That's my thought after finishing A Trial of Sorcerers by Elise Kova. (Don't ask me about the Cedric reference. If you know, you know.) Man, does she pack one hell of a sucker punch. I'm still collecting my thoughts from the emotional whiplash Elise Kova just inflicted on me. Clearly, I was not braced for impact.
But that's what lured me in with this book. I didn't see any of it coming. Eira isn't the typical YA heroine. She's not a born badass. She has that power, but she has no idea. She's been sheltered and stifled her entire life under the guise of love. But the cage her loved ones have built around her only tightens after a tragic accident where her magic was unleashed three years ago--something no one seems keen to forgive her for.
I appreciated that Eira wasn't super mopey (she did have her moments) or blatantly throwing pity parties. This was her life. She built up an ice wall around her heart to keep it all from sinking in and drowning her. She had her own strength even before her power blossomed. All she needed was to forgive herself and a bit of confidence. Not even that much, if we're honest. She didn't walk out of this book saying "I'm a magical badass!" but just "Maybe I'm better than I thought."
She certainly didn't walk out of this book unscathed, and neither did I. I found myself rooting for the wrong person, distrusting the good guy and figuring that out too late, and slack-jawed at the big and highly tragic reveal. Maybe I'm just as naïve as Eira, because I was just as shocked as her. 
Elise Kova hit the fantasy trifecta, in my opinion: A well rounded and unique character who is a work in progress with more room to grow, an intricately built world, and an incredibly layered plot peeled back piece by piece with the promise of more secrets to come. 

My only complaint: Book four doesn't come out until next year, but there's no way I can resist diving into books two and three now. Ready to suffer with me until 2024? Get your copy of A Trial of Sorcerers by following the links below! You can read all three books with a Kindle Unlimited subscription.

- Barnes and Noble - Goodreads

The WFH Mama: Unsolicited Advice about Sleeping

The first months after maternity leave are honestly a blur. With any infant, you’re going to be sleep deprived. And you are going to desperately try to find any tips or tricks that will help your little one sleep, especially on the nights of inexplicable screaming. Or something to help you get through the next day.

I have a new appreciation and understanding of Lorelai Gilmore now that I'm a mom.

If you're like me, you are going to scour the Facebook groups and internet in general to find something that fixes the sleep problem. The truth is that there are no tried and true methods that work 100% of the time because our babies are all different. Your Great Aunt Petunia can swear her old school methods will work, but your Great Aunt Cecilia will argue that her methods work better and Petunia doesn’t know what she’s talking about. 

I mean, if Great Aunt Petunia is saying "Give 'em a sip of whiskey" then yeah, you might wanna go with Aunt Cecilia. Alcohol + babies = bad. But still.

You’re going to get the unsolicited advice. They mean well. Your friends and family love you and just want to help. But what they suggest doesn’t come with the guarantee they say it does, and you have to decide what to try and what not to. Example: No way I’m going to have my daughter sleep in a crib in another room. Is that a bad choice for other parents? No. Will my anxiety allow me to sleep in another room and not be kept up all night with worst case scenarios running through my mind? Absolutely not.

So here’s my unsolicited advice for this time period: Get to know yourself and your baby, and give both of yourselves grace. That is the best method you can have. I was told to listen to my instincts as a mom a lot in the beginning, and it would hurt so much when people told me this because I felt alone. Like they didn’t understand that I was a first time mom and had no idea what I was doing. But they were right. My instincts were to be simple with my baby. Hold her. Sing to her. Cosleep. Remember that her crying is her trying to communicate something and it might not be the basics (fed, burped, diaper changed, held). Sometimes all I could do was rock her until she calmed down, just reminding her that whatever she was feeling that was overwhelming her, I was here.  

(Oh, and don’t come at me about the cosleeping - I wouldn’t recommend it for everyone but I’m probably the lightest sleeper you will ever meet, so she so much as hiccups and I wake up.)

When I gave up on overcomplicated methods or gadgets, we hit our stride as mom and baby. I stopped trying to put her in her bassinet while I worked and held her, letting her sleep in my arms while I made customer calls. I tended to start with the no-cost or low-cost methods since we’re on a tight budget. One thing Great Aunt Petunia might be right about is that singing to your baby and just letting them hear your voice might be the best remedy for what ails them. You are their world just as much as they are now yours.