Fran Macilvey's Blog, page 9

The past is a foreign country

The past is a foreign country

I used to wonder about the saying, “The past is a foreign country; they do things differently, there.”

But after my father died and we discovered that he had kept every scrap of correspondence he had ever received from anyone, my sister became interested in reading the letters exchanged between my parents, and has talked of writing their story. Perhaps part of her motivation stems from the realisation that we have had surprisingly few real-life opportunities...

To collate our memories

To collate our memories

In writing memoir, since the point is to collate our memories and experiences, we do not need to do exhaustive research.

Of course, if someone does offer useful feedback, use it, so long as that information is about practical, everyday details that will make our narrative more interesting or credible. Thus, household details and timelines wil be useful; on the other hand, no matter how often Great Aunt Augusta reassures you that, “Yes, of course you can mention that...

Trespassing on other lives

Trespassing on other lives

We will generally avoid controversy if, in telling our story through memoir, we stick to the storyline of our own life and resist, at all costs, the many temptations that will arise for trespassing on other lives or poaching juicy details from others’ life narratives to enhance our own.

By which I mean, we are at liberty to borrow aspects and memories that are relatively uncontroversial and which add colour: I was born in interesting circumstances at a very...

Happy New Year 2020

Happy New Year 2020

Despite the current rash of sad news which seems to wrap itself around us like barbed wire – turmoil in the Middle East, Brexit uncertainty, the seeming melt-down of large areas of the planet – I am more determined than ever to stay patient, resolute, and as cheerful as possible in 2020.

What good does it do me to increase my unhappiness by worrying?

When I worry, it’s something else I have to get my head around before I can do anything that will help me to feel more...

It can be hard to know

It can be hard to know

It can be hard to know what episodes of a life to include, and which to omit.

If I saw something which for me was hugely informative – perhaps I saw my mother crying or my father shouting – do I mention that? Or is it part of the “foreign country” past of others that is best left alone?

In general, I would include mention of any or all particularly telling episodes in early drafts as often as I like until I had come to a clearer and more compassionate understanding...

What I can comment on

What I can comment on

In writing memoir, when it comes to those whose lives intersect mine, sooner or later I shall have to decide what I can comment on – carefully – and what should remain shrouded in tactful silence. This dilemma is especially challenging when we are forced to borrow aspects of experience in which we have no direct part, a process of necessary borrowing which should be resorted to very sparingly.

It may be that my parents were very loving to each other, in which case I...

Writing from our own perspectives

Writing from our own perspectives

When we first write, we do so mainly to recall our impressions, homing in on what we remember. When we start out writing from our own perspectives, our recollections may have a very “interesting” relationship with the facts. Our version of events may be exaggerated or false, especially if we are writing of our infancy or youth. It’s not that youngsters are wrong, but they see the world from a very different angle and are necessarily concerned with their...

A very necessary process

A very necessary process

Stage one “splurge” writing is, I contend, a very necessary part of what will end up – several years later – as a finished memoir that someone else may read with pleasure. Stage One splurge is the leap of the cliff that may end badly, but since we are writing alone and for ourselves only, we do have total freedom to write and re-write whatever we like, as often as we need to, until our scalding thoughts have cooled enough to be moulded unto something more...

Stage One Writing

Stage One writing

There are many things to consider when writing memoir. And there are things we can do, to make the disclosures we – eventually – publish, easier to live with. But that comes only after we have gone through the initial processes of writing, editing, agonising and re-writing… All of which can take a year or three.

Make a start, because the process itself will, if we approach it in a positive spirit, throw more light on what to do next.

Any writing can be broken down into...

Life would have been easier

Life would have been easier…

Life would have been easier, certainly, if I had ever positively, finally, decided to give up all my ideas of writing “Trapped”, or indeed, of ever writing anything properly. I never did positively decide not to. The idea just kept creeping up on me until it was irresistible, so I guess memoir writers just have to get used to living dangerously…

And I can’t say that, though life would have been easier, it would have been more fun. I would have had plenty more...