Fran Macilvey's Blog, page 17
February 25, 2019
Writing is hard because…
Writing is hard because…
When I was a kid, my idea of heaven was to go with my father to his work, and into the store-room where they kept the stationery. The blocks of A4 pads of lined paper, the fancy water-marked paper for posh letters, which we would hold up to windows so that we could trace the lion rampant and colour it in, where my idea of infinite possibility, with so much room for all my ideas to go anywhere I wanted – heaven!
It’s a pity that, instead of preserving that sense of...
February 22, 2019
My sister is reading my book
My sister is reading my book
My sister says, if I can’t get peace at home, I can go to hers for a few days. A writer’s retreat, she might call it, with time to think during the day and lots of space in which to allow my thoughts to wander without interruptions, and without having to think about school timetables or the soup boiling over in the kitchen… Nice idea. Problem is, life keeps getting in the way, so a more useful way to proceed, is to get up earlier, get organised and get on. Which...
February 20, 2019
Beware social care
Beware social care
After Mum had spent three weeks in a medical ward at the Western General with a great deal of assiduous help to get her medically fit, she was advised that she was no longer a medical case – there was no more medical help they could offer – so they needed her bed back.
Fair enough. Doctors need to treat sick people. And the wards at the Western on which this is done, are relatively benign. The spaces are open and well set out, visitors are welcome and encouraged, there ar...
February 18, 2019
Watching de-clutter programmes
Watching de-clutter programmes
I’m currently obsessed with watching de-clutter programmes. But then, I love to de-clutter, and am always looking for new ideas and inspiration. Why, you might ask, when I have never had a problem with accumulations?
I’ve watched Maria Kondo, and another Canadian offering, ‘Consumed’, both of which offer insights that are salutary. For example, that our things can weigh us down; that we should either love, or use, what we own, and if we don’t, then why are we...
February 14, 2019
Grief comes in unexpectedly
Grief comes in unexpectedly
As my mother’s health improves, my grief seems to be receding. Sure, Mum may never get back to being the sparky, independent woman she has been all her life, but perhaps that matters less than we thought it did.
And watching over the last year the process of her gradual change, acknowledging how many personal mountains she has had to climb – not only losing her husband and her son, but having to move her home twice in less that eighteen months and make all the...
February 12, 2019
The example of others
The example of others
In visiting my mother, increasingly I notice the help offered and contributions made to my life and peace of mind by the example of others: doctors who help, nurses who answer bedside summons, auxiliaries who dish out tea, or supper, or chat, taxi drivers who take me where I want to go, my husband who cooks when he is asked to, and my daughter who can be trusted to do chores she is asked to.
And I realise, teamwork really does help the world to function. Yet another l...
February 10, 2019
My mother, my mirror
My mother, my mirror
Mum has been in hospital for almost three weeks. It was a big step to call the ambulance and actually get help, but I’m glad we did.
From having passed all her first tests and scans with flying colours, she was still feeling oddly off and looking peaky when my eldest sister and I went to see after her first week, on Tuesday. Moments after we arrived in her room, took off our coats and exchanged the usual pleasantries, Mum went to the loo – an unexpected struggle – then...
February 7, 2019
To the hospital
To the hospital
Timetables are useful, and so are routines. Which now include visiting the hospital most days to visit my Mum. I have driven myself there, but the difficulties of obtaining parking are almost insurmountable. (What do I do if, having reached the hospital, I can find no-where to park?) So now I get taxis and am grateful that I can relax in the back of the cab for fifteen minutes each way. If I time it right, I can avoid the worst traffic clutter and shorten the journey.
...
February 5, 2019
To turn my mistakes into opportunities
To turn my mistakes into opportunities
By some miracle, I now have three books published, two more written, and another underway. What will I do with myself when I’ve finished writing my latest book? Write another?
I endow my characters with more practical skills than I have, more confidence, as well as the hope that everything will work out in the end: I am writing women’s fiction, after all, and it seems only right to have an optimistic ending. But also, I write because I can make use, t...
February 2, 2019
Achievements in small steps
Achievements in small steps
I totter, I stumble, I pick myself up of the icy paving – ouch! – examine my hands for punctures and bleeding, and get up again in ungainly fashion. Doubtless someone is watching me, but I’ve got only one aim, and don’t care what I look like. As soon as I can, I forget – forget – about that; think about something else because doing so helps everything to heal better, and I feel much less pain when I raise my thoughts to something else.
Arriving back indoors, it...
