Lisa Niver's Blog: We Said Go Travel, page 42

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Our Stories Matter: How Writing Can Heal Our Hearts

Thank you to Holly Corbett and Consciously Unbiased for publishing my article: “Our Stories Matter: How Writing Can Heal Our Hearts“Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

During the past two years of the COVID roller coaster, life has been more obviously uncertain. Anna Quindlen’s newest book, Write for Your Life, suggests that “it [is] possible to be in a dreadful situation and find a respite from events through putting down words.” She talks about Anne Frank’s journal and the way it inspired teacher Erin Gruwell’s Freedom Writers project, in which Gruwell helped a group of “at-risk” students in Long Beach’s racially divided community filled with drugs, gang warfare, and homicides to find strength and power through writing their own stories.

In recent weeks, especially during Passover, I have been wondering what the Ukrainian people are writing in their journals as Russia continues the most barbaric invasion that Europe has witnessed in 80 years. When Vlodomir Zelensky told the West, “Why repeat ‘Never Again’ for 80 years, if when the bomb falls on Babyn Yar, the world remains silent?” he is referencing the Holocaust when six million Jewish lives were extinguished, and during which Anne Frank penned the journal for herself that has gone on to inspire and bring light to so many.

Anne’s diary has endured, Quindlen tells us, in part because “it offers comfort” by showing “so many of us that our voices can be heard.” She goes on to assert: “As Anne Frank showed the world, as the Freedom Writers learned themselves, history is our story. Those who write it own it, today, and always. Why not you?”

I agree with her and, although Quindlen’s book focused on pencil and paper, I have found that the newer forms of connecting through social media can also offer us all a place to share our voices. During a recent 90-day social video challenge—which felt more like a mash up between journal writing and my own personal Truman Show, I felt more visible — not only to others (with 500,000 views) but also to myself, which is exactly what this book is about.

I’m a travel writer, and for me, during COVID, there was no more traveling so no more writing about it. Instead, like everyone else I knew, I sat in my house, apart from friends, unable to socialize. With each passing day, another work contract was canceled, and I felt increasingly isolated as I watched everything that I had built fall apart like a real-life Jenga game. Was this going to be a repeat of the days following 9/11, when my former employer, also a travel company, went bankrupt? Without any assignments or weekend plans, or even the possibility of inviting people over for dinner, I knew I needed something to help me find purpose and connection. So I wrote.

Quindlen tells us that “Writing is undoubtedly interaction with another human being, even if that human being is only yourself.” As my favorite meditation on Insight Timer begins, “There is nowhere to go and there is nothing to do.” So I stayed home — #saferathome — and worked on my memoir.

Writing about ourselves can change us and, although writing solely for your own eyes might seem cowardly or mundane, it can, I discovered, make a difference. Quindlen says that, “Writing done correctly may wind up being a kind of emotional striptease, the equivalent of spreading your arms wide and saying, ‘Here I am.’” I was writing about the dissolution of my marriage, among other topics, and some days the writing was so challenging that I literally wrote until I was certain I would throw up and had to lie down on the floor.

Many times, I was sure it was not worth it and only served as a form of self-torture, but somehow I continued. As time went on, I did begin to feel that the writing was changing me. I had always blamed myself for the failure of my marriage, but as I worked to describe scenes and circumstances, I could more clearly see the ugliness of our relationship and how I had chosen to leave to save myself.

While I was writing with the hope that one day it might be published, putting the emotional anguish down on paper — from the way he criticized my every move, including how many fingers I used to hold a sandwich, to the excessive drinking that led to physical abuse — wading back into the nightmare of it all and laying bare the reality of our marriage on the page really did heal my heart. I was not a failure and it was not my fault.

Reliving it in my mind over and over again, which I had been doing for years, did not teach me this — but writing it did. As Quindlen says, “The process is not always easy, but the result sometimes invaluable… the point is to reveal what lies within.” I revealed the truth.

Whenever we put pen to paper, or tell a story on TikTok, we do not know what will happen with our tale when we set it free. Sometimes it centers us in our own power; sometimes it empowers others. Quindlen says, “Writing is part of a chain. We spin words for ourselves, a few others, or even the world.” Anne Frank “was living through an extraordinary experience, an extraordinary time, an extraordinary horror.” She was able to “ground herself” by “committing everything to paper, much of it not particularly profound.”

Similarly, the Freedom Writers wrote about their struggles being bullied or homeless, feeling alone or forced to join in gang violence. By learning to choose writing over guns, they were able to gain perspective on their experiences, realize their own strength, and ultimately finish school and start a new path. For today’s young people, who are struggling with skyrocketing levels of depression and anxiety, Quidlen believes that writing is “an unacknowledged panacea, a craft that can lead to healthier human beings.”

After two full years of COVID’s presence in our lives, we are all living with nearly empty emotional bank accounts due to the pandemic, death, hardships, strife amongst friends and neighbors, desperation, and now a war that is visible to us all through social media and other outlets. The lives of everyone on our planet, young and old, have all been changed; none of us asked to be a part of these events, but they are here.

Every year in the Passover seder, we tell the story of how the Jews were slaves in Egypt as if we are also experiencing this slavery. We remember the ten plagues and hope that next year not only will we be free, but that also everyone will be freed from the yoke of oppression of all kinds. Our community moved from a narrow existence to the openness of the desert in search of a new life and new home, just as we must all continue to find new paths in these uncertain times. Writing can help.

During this time, and now with my book nearly finished, I have come to realize what I have control over and what I can do. I finally understand my past and how to want to live my future, even if I don’t know exactly what the future will bring. The novelist E. L. Doctorow said about writing a novel, “It’s like driving a car at night: you never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” Quindlen also reminds us that this widsom is, “Not only true of writing a novel but also of living our lives, living in an indefinite, infinite now.”

Writing can heal us and anchor us in times of duress. What step will you take toward sharing your story?

BIO:
Lisa Niver is an award-winning travel expert who founded We Said Go Travel in 2010 and now writes for WIRED, Teen Vogue, USA Today 10Best, among many others. Her memoir, Brave-ish, One Breakup, Six Continents, and Feeling Fearless After 50, will be available in 2023. She is a KTLA TV travel expert and her YouTube videos on diving, travel, and more have over 1.5 million views. See her videos, articles, awards, and interviews here: https://lisaniver.com/one-page/.

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My Favorite Reese’s Book Club Books

I love books! I was an early reader and often was reading more than one book at a time growing up. One of my most favorite places to go as a child and as an adult is to the library. I appreciate all the book selections in Reese’s Book Club and have written about many of them!

I wrote about Glennon Doyle’s book for Ms. Magazine: “Untamed”: Brave Means Living From the Inside Out:

Reading Glennon Doyle’s memoir, Untamed, is diving into an adventure of what we can become. We collectively grow stronger as we are more willing to ask hard questions…Reading Glennon Doyle’s memoir, Untamed, is diving into an adventure of what we can become. We collectively grow stronger as we are more willing to ask hard questions….When I chose to leave my marriage and the continent I was on, many people called me brave. I found it challenging because I did not feel courageous—and in fact looked both words up in the dictionary, often trying to understand what they were telling me. Continue reading

I wrote about Christie Tate’s memoir, Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life, where she shares her shift from believing she will never be enough to having her dreams come true for Thrive Global.

Women in America often ask themselves, “When will it be enough?” and perhaps more importantly, “When will I be enough?”…I highly recommend this book which I loved and read all in one day. I felt like I was right there with her on the bad dates, in the group therapy sessions and I wanted to go grab some plates from my kitchen and break them when she broke hers. Keep Reading…

For Ms. Magazine, I wrote “Eve Rodsky Wants Feminist Partners to Play Fair!”

In order to pick up all of these “invisible” tasks, there is a cost to women’s health, professional goals and personal relationships. “This ‘time tax,’ where women are burdened with more than our fair share of childcare and domestic work,” Rodsky explains, “compromises every aspect of our lives—our relationships, career, sense of identity and physical and mental health. Our perception of men’s time as finite versus women’s time as infinite, or weighted differently in any way, must change if we ever want to achieve true liberation....But what also resonated with me was Rodsky’s definition of “Unicorn Space”—the “rare, magical and essential” time where one partner in a relationship gets to focus inward and “reclaim the interests that make you uniquely you, stoking your passion and driving you to be the best version of yourself.” Reclaiming this space is part of Rodsky’s second rule: reclaiming our right to be interesting. Keep Reading

Fair Play Eve RodskyBrene Brown’s book, Braving the Wilderness, is on the list and I wrote about her book, Daring Greatly, as inspiration for one of my 13 travel writing competitions!

“Daring greatly is not about winning or losing. It’s about courage.” I realized after reading her books and listening to her talks that I am doing enough. When my focus is on Courage, Compassion and Connection as my goals, I remember that I am good enough.

I wrote about Reese’s pick, The Rules of Magic, for Thrive Global in Escape into Fiction this Fall:

Many of the books on my list are set in other locations and times because I missed traveling. Magic Lessons begins with Maria Owens, “in the 1600s, when she’s abandoned in a snowy field in rural England as a baby.” Maria learns the “Unnamed Arts” and the story takes place in England, Curaçao and Salem, Massachusetts. I loved reading about familiars, green magic, Grimoire and the history of the mysterious Maria from the first two books.

It felt strangely familiar to read about how “in the year 1675, when Maria turned eleven, there was another epidemic, of smallpox. Some towns and villages were emptied of all of their inhabitants, and the doors to houses swung open and robbers ruled the roads.” I felt like part of the magic as this tale wove its way through different locations, family members and tragedies. Remember, “Fate is what you make of it. You can make the best of it, or you can let it make the best of you.” During this time of uncertainty between COVID and the election, I liked reading about “Avra kadavra, I will create as I speak, I will force into being that which is impossible and illogical, all that is against the rules of men.”

I also wrote about Untamed and Wild for Undomesticated Magazine in an article called A Reinvention Reading List about the journey to writing my memoir when “these books felt like a flashlight in the darkness of winter, and helped me find my way and myself again.”

I wrote about both Wild by Cheryl Strayed and The Henna Artist in this Ms. Magazine article called, “8 Books That Will Transport You:“

Wild  came out in 2012 while I was on an 18-month adventure in South East Asia. During my travels, I conquered my fears and did two eight-day treks in Nepal with no sherpa. I fell madly in love with this book and Strayed’s honest account of the challenges on the Pacific Crest Trail. When she named her backpack, Monster, I remembered when I had a breakdown in the REI store because I felt so overwhelmed to think that all my belongings had to fit in the bag, and I had to lug it around with me.

I also wrote about Cheryl Strayed’s book, Brave Enough, which helped me feel braver!

While author Alka Joshi’s story starts in 1955 in Jaipur, India, I have to admit some of her descriptions reminded me of my travels there in 2013. I spent three months on the public bus traversing the sub-continent—and her descriptions of the colorful saris, delicate samosas and other tasty treats reminded all my senses (especially my sense of smell) of my adventures.

Women’s lives are intertwined from the village, to town, from one town to another and one life to another. The way that boys become men, and men act like boys, causes many dramas and traumas in this tale. The women find ways to run away from one life but are often surprised by the ways it catches up to you.

I was able to interview Alka Joshi for Thrive Global, “Writing and Rewriting during COVID with Alka Joshi.” And she interviewed me on her show, Reimagine:I wrote about Alka Joshi’s second book for the Jewish Journal and cannot wait for book three! Read all about it here: Travel back to India: The Secret Keeper of Jaipur

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I also wrote about The Secret Keeper of Jaipur for Thrive Global in an article called Sizzling Summer Reads: Feel All Your Feelings. What other books have I written about? Read more here on my portfolio page. Thank you to Reese Witherspoon and Hello Sunshine for creating Reese’s Book Club and bringing more light to all of these incredible books! I look forward to reading more of her picks and hope someday you might be reading my memoir on her list!

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Turkish Coffee Tales, Micro Art Show & Lisa Niver at the Turkish Consulate

Turkish Coffee Tales of Anatolia Documentary Screening & The Greatest Micro Art Show on EarthHow did Turkish Coffee Culture Change the World 500 Years Ago?

Event Invitation: Turkish Coffee Tales of Anatolia Documentary Screening & The Greatest Micro Art Show on Earth
Premier of the “Turkish Coffee Tales of Anatolia” documentary

The private screening at the Turkish Consul General’s Residence on May 20th from 6:30-8:30pm. The launch event will also feature an extraordinary live demonstration from micro art master Hasan Kale.

Please RSVP at trconsulate.events@gmail.com

About the Documentary: 

In December 2013, Turkish coffee was admitted to UNESCO’s World Heritage list as a “cultural inheritance that has to be protected.” Initiated by the Turkish Coffee Lady Foundation, the world’s first coffee diplomacy platform, the documentary is composed of special shootings featuring “dibek coffee” in Mardin, “mirra coffee” in Şanlıurfa, “menengiç coffee” in Gaziantep, “saffron coffee” in Karabük, “coffee brewed on ash” in Nevşehir, “coffee brewed on sand” in Ankara, “mastic coffee” in Izmir and “traditional coffee” in Istanbul.  

About the Artist:

Hasan Kale; a world-renowned micro artist master who can turn tiny objects into miniscule paintings. Known as “Turkey’s Microangelo”, Kale’s exquisitely detailed paintings include pumpkin seeds, coffee beans, rice grains, chickpeas and tiny discarded items such as matchsticks to bottle caps. One of Istanbul’s most famous and talented artists, Hasan Kale will be showcasing some tiny masterpieces and unique designs during this live show. In addition to live demonstration, the event will also include a breathtaking art exhibition and a raffle drawing.

About Lisa Niver

Lisa Ellen Niver is an award-winning travel expert who has explored 101 countries and six continents.
She founded We Said Go Travel in 2010 and now writes for WIRED, Teen Vogue, USA Today 10Best among many others. Her memoir, Brave-ish, One Breakup, Six Continents, and Feeling Fearless After 50, will be available in 2023. She is a KTLA TV travel expert and her YouTube videos on diving, travel, and more have over 1.5 million views. See her videos, articles, awards, and interviews here: https://lisaniver.com/one-page/

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What’s NEW at Princess Cruises?

On April 29, 2022, I was on the Discovery Princess for her naming! I absolutely loved seeing one of the two Sky Suites!Discovery Princess is the final of six sister ships in the Royal Class. What will be next? SPHERE CLASS Did you love watching THE LOVE BOAT? Get ready for the REAL Love Boat coming soon! On your cruise, you want to be in GOOD SPIRITS! Learn about the latest in the beverage program from Rob Floyd, Master Mixologist:

Look forward to food that is WILD for ALASKA with Chef and Culinary Artist Rudi Sodamin. Experience the freshest and most sustainable local delicacies from your destination! How does Princess Cruises take care of the environment? Ask Jeff Corwin, Environmental Ambassador:WELCOME to the Discovery Princess! Join us for the Princess Cruises naming ceremony:

“Princess Cruises announced Princess Premier, a new premium add-on package that offers guests unlimited WiFi for up to 4 devices, premium/top-shelf beverages, photos, specialty dining, and crew gratuities/appreciation. For just $75 per person per day, the inclusive package builds off the popular Princess Plus add-on to offer a more comprehensive bundle and savings of more than 50 percent when the amenities of Princess Premier are purchased separately. In a unique promotion twist, Princess Premier guests also will be automatically entered into a new onboard promotion for a chance to win a cruise for two every year for a decade and up to $100,000 in cash prizes.” Princess Premier goes on sale May 25, for voyages starting June 25 and beyond.

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AND…Don’t forget about the fantastic entertainment!

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