Lisa Niver's Blog: We Said Go Travel, page 32

The Poet Maggie Smith Makes This Place Beautiful

Thank you Maggie Smith for joining me on my podcast!

What now? I am out with lanterns, looking for myself. But here’s the thing about carrying light with you: No matter where you go, and no matter what you find—or don’t find—you change the darkness just by entering it. You clear a path through it....My life is like the ocean that scientists just discovered—something that’s been on maps and atlases, hiding in plain view as part of another whole. This new ocean was always there, always itself, but we are only now recognizing it.Maggie Smith, You Could Make This Place Beautiful

Maggie Smith joins me on my podcast to discuss: “the power of learning to come home to yourself.”

I loved reading her book and her prose is truly like poetry. Her chapter titles are guideposts and the way they repeat like a chorus of a song but add more information is nearly like having a narrator sitting at your side.

Order your copy TODAY: Amazon Barnes & Noble Bookshop

Lisa Niver:

Good morning. I’m so honored and excited to be here today with the most incredible poet and author Maggie Smith.

Maggie Smith:

Hi. Thanks for having me.

Lisa Niver:

Congratulations. I am so excited about your book and to share about your book. I read on Instagram, is it really true, it’s your seventh book, but your first book tour– where you’re actually going to be in person?

Maggie Smith:

Yes. My first few books I published were books of poems with small presses and they don’t send you on a book tour. So, I started out loading books into a canvas tote in my car and driving, and doing bookstore readings or house readings. But this is the first time that I actually get to go on an honest to goodness, fly from place to place book tour. The last few books all came out during peak pandemic.

Lisa Niver:

Peak pandemic is a good term. I generally say we’ve been riding on the COVID coaster.

Maggie Smith:

Yeah, I’m like reticent to talk about it in past tense, because it’s not past tense, but of course it’s not quite what it was three years ago either. We’re coming up with language for it, aren’t we?

Lisa Niver:

Yes, you’re right it’s absolutely not past tense. I feel like we’ve been riding the highs and the lows. And I love that you brought that up about creating language for it, because I feel like reading your memoir there’s so much in the way you designed it –that’s structured like a poem. Can you talk a little bit about, I felt like I got so much information, as I was reading, with the chapter titles and which things repeated, but still change. It was almost like the chorus of a song.

Maggie Smith:

Oh, I love that. I’m a big fan of sort of offering the reader a breadcrumb trail or two or three in a book. Because as a reader, whether its poetry or prose, I really love those moments of recognition where I see something I think I’ve seen before and it gives me a chance to make connections. And for me, at least as a writer writing a memoir, it was all about making connections both between past experiences and present time and parts of my life. How the writer part of my life relates to the mothering part of my life or the wife part of my life or daughter or friend or all of these different aspects of what it is to be a human being.

The desire to use repetition in that way was to speak to the truth of the experience, which is we tend to not think of life or remember things in a straight line. We tend to come back– ideas tend to echo or remind us of other things. We tend to reflect in a way or ruminate in a way that makes things return and return and return. And so, the form for me was probably just the most psychologically true way I could present the story.

Lisa Niver:

You shared a lot about what it’s like –not just the experience of the changes in life –of meeting someone and deciding to spend your life together or deciding not to spend your life together, but also so much about the career and how that worked.

And I loved that in your memoir, you talk about not being a tell-all, but a tell-mine, but also the way you really spoke directly to the reader. I felt like there was a lot of breaking a fourth wall of just — let me tell you where we are.

Maggie Smith:

Yes. I started doing that fairly early on and it’s not something I typically do when I’m writing. And maybe it’s just because this genre for me was new, so I was making up my own rules as I went.

Lisa Niver:

Yes.

Maggie Smith:

But I really felt like I was being vulnerable in the book. And speaking directly to readers was a way of acknowledging the vulnerability and also just a way of acknowledging the reader’s intelligence. –I know you’re here reading this book with me, and there are going to be things you want to know about that I’m not sharing and I respect you enough to acknowledge that. We’re in this together for the next 300 pages.

Lisa Niver:

It’s true. And I love that you felt very personable in it, and still set the boundary that I don’t have to tell every story. The story is still very cohesive, and I think that’s very lovely to see a memoir where it’s not about oversharing, but it’s about going on this journey together.

Maggie Smith:

Thank you for saying that. I write about this in the book and if there’s one thing that my therapist says constantly is boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Not just in life, but in writing. What do we owe the reader and what do we get to keep to ourselves? And when we write about our lives it’s not a deposition it’s a memoir, we don’t actually owe every single detail to the reader. Some of the, maybe the most powerful things that we can do for a reader is to give them the space to actually reflect on things and think about things and make connections to their own lives. And sometimes pulling back is the way to allow that to happen.

Lisa Niver:

Yes. As your title says, I do think you made this place beautiful. There was space to follow along. And I like what you said about the breadcrumbs. To me, it felt like the chorus of a song like, now I know where we are. And I thought that was beautiful.

One of the things that I really related to, that I think many humans will relate to, is being in a relationship where as good things happen you’re withholding them from your partner because it’s not going so well. And I loved what you said that: I stopped sharing good news, I made myself small, folded myself up origami tight.

Maggie Smith:

I think probably a lot of people will relate to that, and maybe women in particular. The phrase don’t get too big for your britches is not usually applied to men. I see it as being gendered, although I realize that that’s not always the case. That sometimes a partner might have good news for them that they want to be family good news, but because of the way that perhaps it inconveniences the other person, or perhaps because of whatever is going on in that person’s professional life, it’s hard to hear. And I think we all hope that we will be able to accept good news on behalf of our partner or best friend or sister.

When someone tells you I met someone wonderful–and you’re single or just went through a breakup. You want to feel good for that person. If someone gets promoted and you just lost your job or feel like you’re languishing in a job you don’t love you really, I think we’re all hoping that we’ll be “the bigger person,” but it doesn’t always happen. Llife is complicated. And it doesn’t necessarily make us bad people when we can’t just be wholeheartedly gung-ho happy for someone else, but it sure makes it hard to live together when you don’t feel like someone is cheering for you.

Lisa Niver:

Absolutely. And you had such good examples when you were signing books and someone offered to take a photo and you’ said–no– I don’t need that help. That won’t make things better for me. It is very relatable and to your point –not oversharing.

Maggie Smith:

That is something relatable whether you’re a writer or not, whatever your sort of like success or shine moment is you can tell a lot about any given relationship, parent, child, friend, neighbor, spouse, by the way they handle both your failures and your successes. Using that as a barometer that can be really telling.

Lisa Niver:

It can be and I think it’s a really great moment that other people can hold onto to think about what happened the last time I shared good news or challenges and how did the person respond?

Maggie Smith:

Yes. And how am I responding? That’s always the most interesting thing is how can I not ever blame myself? But on the other side of self-blame is personal accountability, there is a difference. And one thing I really worked hard to do in this book is take personal accountability for my own choices. And so, I’m thinking about if X really hurt me I don’t want to do that to someone else, right? So, how do I check myself and my own ego or my own disappointment and make sure that I’m showing up for my people in a way that is wholehearted and generous even if there are parts of it that are difficult for me?

Lisa Niver:

Yes. Yes, I think that’s really true– How do we show up as wholehearted? The other thing that struck me so much was when you talked about lonely versus alone. And you said — feeling lonely when you’re with your partner is worse than being alone, being with someone who doesn’t want the best for you is worse than being alone.

Maggie Smith:

Yeah. I’ve talk to a lot of divorced people who will say the worst part wasn’t the after– the worst part was when things weren’t going well. Because it is really lonely to feel a lack of connection in a relationship, especially if it’s a long relationship and it seems like it should be different, right? And so, if you are alone and you don’t have any expectation of having a conversation with someone in the room, because there’s no one there, that feels different than being in a room with someone who’s not engaging with you.

Lisa Niver:

Absolutely. And if you’re alone you can make an active choice– I’m going to go skating.

Maggie Smith:

Amen. I’m going to watch a movie. I’m going to bake. I’m going to put headphones on and listen to music and dust and pretend that’s fun, because anything with loud music is suddenly a party. Or I’ll leave the house because there’s no one here, so I’m going to go find a friend and have a happy hour or yes roller skate, if necessary and weather permits.

Lisa Niver:

Right. But I think that’s also about that origami unfolding. That are you folded in –someone is holding it all tamped down and now you know–I can change the shape.

Maggie Smith:

I think it’s one of the gifts of middle age. I mean, there are enough downsides. One of the gifts of middle age is learning how to be your whole self. You couldn’t pay me to be a teenager again, you couldn’t pay me to be in my 20s again. Yeah, my 30s were a little better, but I feel, and my mother has always told me this, the older you get the more yourself you can be and the less you care about what other people think. And I do think that is a gift of aging is just not only knowing your own worth and being able to sort of stand in your own power, but just not being so wrapped up in other people’s opinions of you.

Lisa Niver:

That is a huge advantage. And that reminds me of the review about reverse midlife crisis. I thought that was really interesting.

Maggie Smith:

I love that.

Lisa Niver:

I do too. I’m trying to think if it feels the tiniest bit pejorative. If there’s another reframing of those words. Because I feel like midlife crisis is not something necessarily to strive for.

Maggie Smith:

No.

Lisa Niver:

And I get the reverse midlife crisis, as in I’ve gotten to this place and I’m beginning again and it’s beautiful and I’m opening up, but I’m just questioning the words. I do love the sentiment.

Maggie Smith:

I love it too. And actually as soon as I read that review I went to, I do what I do, which is go to the dictionary and look up synonyms and antonyms. So, I looked up what is crisis, right? And it’s an emergency, it’s a problem. And what is the opposite, what is an antonym for crisis? — words like recovery and return. And so, if the memoir is chronicling a reverse or the opposite of a midlife crisis to me it’s like a return to self, a midlife return to self, and that I love. It makes a lot of sense. And the epigraph for the book actually plays perfectly into that, which is Emily Dickinson, “I am out with lanterns looking for myself.“

That’s again another opportunity that we have, as we get older, is to really think, but who am I? What do I want? Not what do these other people want for me, not what are the expectations for what I should be doing now or what my career should look like, what my house should look like, what my kids should like. What do I actually want and can I make that for myself? Can I carve that out for myself? And so, that’s kind of how I read that and it resonated with me.

Lisa Niver:

I love what you did with that. And I also love in the book when you talk about the lanterns and about bringing the light. That you change the darkness just by entering it. And I think that’s one of the challenges of memoir is you often are going into a dark place in your life otherwise– I don’t know that people would be that interested in reading it. Your book is the top Goodreads most anticipated spring book!! Congratulations!!

Maggie Smith:

That means a lot to me because that’s readers adding it in their read pile. That means a lot if people are excited to read the book and are looking forward to it.

Lisa Niver:

I loved it. I think it was fantastic and it was really helpful to me, as I said, in thinking about what I’m writing. And you are an accomplished poet and so supported by the country and Meryl Streep and all these poet organizations. Your prose sounds like poetry to me.

Maggie Smith:

Oh, thank you. I write everything as a poet. It’s not a hat I can put on and take off, so that’s just who I am no matter what I’m writing. I’m glad that was your experience of the book.

Lisa Niver:

I am honored that you have a National Endowment for that Arts creative writing fellowship and you are here speaking to me. It’s very exciting for me. I love things about language, so one of my favorite things being in Indonesia is the word Timor means east. So, when you’re in East Timor you’re in East east.

Maggie Smith:

I see where this is going.

Lisa Niver:

Tell people what was your thing about the words.

Maggie Smith:

It’s the great river, river, isn’t it?

Lisa Niver:

Yes.

Maggie Smith:

The Ohio River. Ohio itself means great river. So, when you say Ohio River you’re saying great river river.

Lisa Niver:

I love things like that.

Maggie Smith:

So, do I. I’m a complete word nerd, as my kids will tell you. Any chance I have, even as you heard with midlife crisis, any chance I have to look at the etymology of a word and the origins and take it apart, I geek out about that stuff.

Lisa Niver:

The other thing, speaking about words is the geography. Talk about the new ocean.

Maggie Smith:

I remember reading a news story and it said: we’ve added another ocean. And I thought it’s not like they just discovered it. It’s not like some insect that has been located in the rain forest that we never knew existed, although that happens too. But this is something that is an ocean, it’s giant, it exists on maps, it’s just been combined with something else. It didn’t have its own name, so it was lumped in, right?

There’s probably a marriage metaphor in there. It was lumped in with something else and then at a certain point they decided there was enough criteria to give it its own name and so this ocean got to be its own thing. And I thought that feels like life. You think it’s one thing, it’s hiding in plain sight, and then over time you realize in fact it was maybe something else. And you have different language for it and a different sense of recognition of what it is and yet here we’ve all been looking at this thing all along.

Lisa Niver:

I do think it’s a marriage metaphor because we’re in a relationship, like you said it could be a family relationship with a parent or a spouse and we think we know how things are going. And then at some point we think, no, that’s not how it’s going to keep going.

Maggie Smith:

With any kind of change, we look and maybe it’s been like this for a while. We think how far do I have to trace my steps back before it was like this? And there’s often no easy answer for that kind of retracing to happen.

Lisa Niver:

Not easy and mostly not pleasant.

Maggie Smith:

And probably not productive.

Lisa Niver:

It makes me think about when you talk about the nesting dolls and how what’s inside, and what’s outside and what do we see. It’s somewhat like the ocean. You know maybe a species in the rain forest that hasn’t been recorded, but we weren’t looking for it. Whereas with the oceans you think about many times we look at those weather maps when they’re saying, this front is coming in. And all of a sudden –no that’s not the name.

Maggie Smith:

Much of life is hiding in plain sight. And until we have the opportunity or are forced to reevaluate and recalibrate things –sometimes we don’t actually see as clearly as we think we do. And in some ways it’s a perk, it’s a bonus. I think seeing clearly is a wonderful thing. Even if the thing that comes into focus is painful, it’s still a gift to see it clearly. Understanding a gift, even if it’s hard, it’s still a gift.

Lisa Niver:

And often it’s hard. The beginning of your book starts with the quote about the lanterns and bringing the light. And in this season where we have Passover, we have Easter, we have spring, there’s more light, so it’s such a beautiful time for your book to come out.

Maggie Smith:

I agree. I think spring is such a time of renewal, a time where everything looks so dormant and gray, especially here in Ohio. Everything is gray and wet and sad and overcast and cold for months and months and months, and then spring happens and it seems like overnight all the trees are in bloom and it’s warm. And the sun, you can feel it on your face. And that that’s the spring in us, when you feel like you’ve been a little dormant for a while. And then you can feel that change happening, you feel like you’re turning into kind of a new season in your life. I mean, thank goodness. Thank goodness for the personal springs.

Lisa Niver:

If people are ready to read your memoir and get involved in this incredible book, tell them where can they find the book and how can they find you.

Maggie Smith:

I always encourage people to shop at independent bookstores. Anywhere books are sold, any independent bookstore should be able to get it in for you. If you like to order books online bookshop.org gives money to independent bookstores and will ship right to your house. I am at maggiesmithpoet.com. That’s my website so that people don’t confuse me with the dame. And I’m maggiesmithpoet on social media, again because I’m the poet, I’m not the incredible British actress, and so that’s a good way for people to find me.

Lisa Niver:

Everybody should right now go out and get You Could Make This Place Beautiful. I loved your book and it has really been so lovely and such an honor to hear more from you. And I can’t wait for everyone to respond and say how much they loved your book as much as I did.

Maggie Smith:

Thanks for having me Lisa.             

What now? I am out with lanterns, looking for myself. But here’s the thing about carrying light with you: No matter where you go, and no matter what you find—or don’t find—you change the darkness just by entering it. You clear a path through it....My life is like the ocean that scientists just discovered—something that’s been on maps and atlases, hiding in plain view as part of another whole. This new ocean was always there, always itself, but we are only now recognizing it.Maggie Smith, You Could Make This Place Beautiful

Maggie Smith joins me on my podcast to discuss: “the power of learning to come home to yourself.”

I loved reading her book and her prose is truly like poetry. Her chapter titles are guideposts and the way they repeat like a chorus of a song but add more information is nearly like having a narrator sitting at your side.

Order your copy TODAY: Amazon Barnes & Noble Bookshop

INSTAGRAM

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Do you own all SEVEN of Maggie Smith’s BOOKS? Find Maggie Smith on Instagram:

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Maggie Smith on Twitter

I’m taking this book on the road—and I can’t wait to see you! pic.twitter.com/vmEf8wxpmB

— Maggie Smith (@maggiesmithpoet) March 2, 2023

Spring at Simon and Schuster 2023

THANK YOU for watching my podcast! Discover more episodes of MAKE YOUR OWN MAP especially Christie Tate who recommended I interview Maggie Smith!

FROM LIBRARY JOURNAL

 In her memoir, award-winning poet Smith (Good Bones) uses poetic vignettes to dissect the ending of her marriage and her journey toward self-love. Smith starts with her husband’s infidelity, something she tackled in her 2020 book, Keep Moving. She moves effortlessly between first and third person, short sections, repeating titles, and recurring themes to examine a life she never imagined for herself. The author never refers to her ex-husband (the addresser) or his lover (the addressee) by name, keeping them both on the outskirts of the new life she is creating. But her children, Violet and Rhett, play a central role as she leans on them, her family, and friends as she makes sense of motherhood, gender roles, and power dynamics that exist in every relationship. Through self-interrogation, Smith crafts her experiences into ones that connect to the larger struggles of women’s lives and how people work to create something new out of places in their lives that have ghosts and hold secrets.

VERDICT This innovative memoir will attract readers who are drawn to poetry hidden in well-written prose and memoirs and will appeal to those who seek meaning in reinventing their lives.

Reviewed by Rebekah J. Buchanan , Mar 01, 2023

The post The Poet Maggie Smith Makes This Place Beautiful appeared first on We Said Go Travel.

Thank you! 30 Best Jewish Book Blogs

Happy Passover! At this time, Jews celebrate that once we were slaves in Egypt and now we are free. It is a time to think about the narrow places in our lives and how we can start again and grow in Spring!Thank you Feedspot for including me in your 30 Best Jewish Book Blogs and Websites along with the Jewish Book Council, the Jewish Journal and the Forward! What an amazing way to celebrate at this season! 1. Jewish Book Council

 New York City, New York, US
Jew­ish Book Coun­cil, found­ed in 1944, is the longest-run­ning organization devot­ed exclu­sive­ly to the sup­port and cel­e­bra­tion of Jew­ish lit­er­a­ture. For over sev­en­ty years, we have used lit­er­a­ture to bring peo­ple togeth­er for mean­ing­ful discussions about Jew­ish life, iden­ti­ty, and cul­ture.

5. Jewish Journal » Books

 Los Angeles, California, US
The following section of Jewish Journal is dedicated to Jewish Book authors and reviews. Get all the recent posts on Religious and Reform from Jewish Journal. We regularly offer live webcasts of community events and original videos. Our mission is to provide fresh news to the Jewish community of Los Angeles.

Read about Woman On Fire and Lies My Mother Told Me on the Jewish Journal 21. We Said Go Travel

 Los Angeles, California, US
We Said Go Travel is a Passport to a Global Community. Get inspired by stories from every continent published by over 1600 travelers and writers. Connect with tens of thousands of readers who share their personal journeys, photos and comments from every continent. Gain global awareness and immerse yourself in other cultures. Lisa Niver is the founder of We Said Go Travel and the host of Make Your Own Map. In its first 99 days, Make Your Own Map was watched on 21 countries on 6 continents.

Happy Holiday Humor from Melissa Rivers! Women’s History Month: READ Woman On Fire

Passover is a Jewish holiday that commemorates the liberation of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt, as described in the biblical Book of Exodus. During this holiday, Jews retell the story of their ancestors’ enslavement and their journey to freedom.

One of the central themes of Passover is leaving the “narrowness” of slavery and oppression for the freedom of self-determination. The Hebrew word for Egypt, “Mitzrayim,” is derived from the word “meitzar,” meaning “narrow.” According to Jewish tradition, the Israelites’ physical enslavement was accompanied by a spiritual narrowness, a sense of limitation and confinement that permeated their lives.

Through their liberation from Egypt, the Jewish people were able to break free from this narrowness and attain a sense of personal and national freedom. The Passover Seder, a ritual meal that takes place on the first two nights of Passover, is designed to help Jews reenact this journey from slavery to freedom.

During the Seder, Jews retell the story of the Exodus and participate in a series of rituals that symbolize the journey from narrowness to freedom. For example, they eat bitter herbs to symbolize the bitterness of slavery, and then dip them in sweet charoset to remind them of the hope of freedom. They also eat matzah, a type of unleavened bread that symbolizes the haste with which the Israelites left Egypt.

Overall, Passover is a holiday that celebrates the Jewish people’s journey from the narrowness of slavery and oppression to the freedom of self-determination. Through its rituals and traditions, Jews are reminded of the importance of breaking free from narrow thinking and embracing the possibilities of a life lived in freedom.

THANK YOU FEEDSPOT for the honor of being in the BEST JEWISH BLOGS list!

The post Thank you! 30 Best Jewish Book Blogs appeared first on We Said Go Travel.

Best Things to do in the Finger Lakes: A Four-Seasons Destination

BEST THINGS TO DO IN THE FINGER LAKES: A FOUR-SEASON DESTINATION

The Finger Lakes region in upstate New York is known primarily as one of the great wine-growing regions of the United States. And with good reason: The area is home to an impressive range of innovative wine producers, including world-acclaimed Rieslings. 

The harvest usually begins in mid-August and depending on the weather, can continue through the end of the calendar year. But what if your best time to visit doesn’t coincide with the grape-growing season? 

As I’ve discovered on repeat trips, the towns that cluster along these 11 digit-shaped water bodies make fantastic year-round destinations, with plenty to see and do. 

Here’s your guide to the best things to do in the Finger Lakes on and off-season. Check websites before venturing out, as some sites and venues operate on reduced hours during the cooler seasons.

A Guide To The Best Things To Do in The Finger LakesExplore museums and historic sites

From the women’s rights movement to the Underground Railroad, and from the origins of the Mormon faith to a museum that showcases exceptional examples of early airplanes, the Finger Lakes is the birthplace of unexpected culture and social advocacy.

Civil rights pioneers

Harriet Tubman Home in Auburn

Cayuga County, which surrounds Cayuga Lake, is in the midst of a yearlong celebration of Harriet Tubman’s bicentennial birthday. The civil rights pioneer lived in Auburn later in life, and you can pay a visit to the Harriet Tubman Home. 

Excellent interpretive tours give a detailed look at her life—not only as an abolitionist but also as a businesswoman, social advocate, and military veteran—and the care facility she founded for seniors. You can also view a beautiful Ghanian carved wooden bust of the icon at the Harriet Tubman Memorial AME Zion Church, the same congregation she belonged to. Or stop at her gravesite at Fort Hill Cemetery.

Tubman was connected to various other abolitionists, including Frances and William Henry Seward. At Seward House Museum, take a deep dive into the couple’s groundbreaking work. Next, 15 minutes away, visit the Howland Stone Store Museum and Opendore, properties owned by the Quaker abolitionist family Slocum, Emily, William, and Isabel Howland. 

Seward House in Auburn

The Sewards and Howlands were also involved in the fight for equal rights, and you’ll find more about them—and a range of other luminaries—at the National Women’s Hall of Fame and the Women’s Rights National Historical Park, the site of the first Women’s Rights convention in 1848, in Seneca Falls. 

Wesleyan Chapel in Seneca Falls: Site of the First Women’s Rights Convention

Mormon roots

Meanwhile, in Palmyra, you’ll find the humble Smith Family Farm. The childhood home of Joseph Smith Jr. is close to the Sacred Grove. Here, Smith said, he experienced visions that led to the founding of the Mormon Church. The forest-shrouded, 10-acre plot at the western edge of the farm is lovely, with walking paths for quiet contemplation and appreciation of nature.

Historical and cultural treasure houses

For an up-close look at the area’s rich indigenous history, visit the Seneca Art & Culture Center in Victor. The facility is dedicated to Seneca and Haudenosaunee (Iroquois) contributions to art, culture, and society. And the replica Bark Longhouse, open only from May through October, offers a fascinating look at everyday life for the Seneca people.

In Hammondsport, you’ll find the Glenn H. Curtiss Museum, named for the aviation pioneer. It contains an eye-opening collection of historic aviation, transportation, and local history artifacts, including vintage motorcycles and bikes, P-38 fighter planes, and automobiles.

The Erie Canal Museum is located in a historic building where canal cargo was once weighed. The museum documents 200 years of history through interactive displays, hands-on exhibits, narrative audio tracks, and artifacts. 

Founded by the venerable Corning Glass Works (now Corning Incorporated), the Corning Museum of Glass is a triple threat. It houses the world’s most comprehensive collection of glass, the planet’s foremost library on glass, and a top glass-working school. Exhibits span 3,500 years of history, from a portrait of an Egyptian pharaoh to contemporary sculpture. and if that’s not enough, the museum also presents daily demonstrations.

Enjoy the great outdoors

Sunset at Seneca Pier

From scenic drives to boating and waterfall hikes, the region is all about the wide-open outdoors. Hiking trails are abundant in just about every town. The hardest part is narrowing down the selections.

Don’t miss Watkins Glen State Park, home to 200-foot cliffs, a spectacular gorge, and 19 waterfalls, all within two miles of easy to moderate trails. The best views come from taking the Gorge Trail (often closed from November through early May). While you may visit the park during the off-season, you must enter via one of its other trails.

Along the “backbone,” a ridge of land between Seneca and Cayuga lakes, lies the Finger Lakes National Forest,  covering more than 16,000 acres of land. Here, you can traverse 30 miles of trails and picture-perfect gorges, meadows, and woodlands, including old-growth forest. Cross-country skiing and snowshoeing are both popular in the winter.

Experienced boaters can rent a vessel and putter along the Erie Canal from May through November. In warmer seasons, you can paddleboard and kayak; the latter is a singular experience when you travel through one of the canal’s famed locks (paddleboards are prohibited in the locks). Rather let someone else do the driving? Take a Finger Lakes cruise.

The region is located along the Atlantic Flyway. This affords plentiful opportunities for birding, especially at preserves like the Montezuma National Wildlife Refuge and Letchworth State Park. Visit in late March or early April, and you’ll witness the migration of hundreds of thousands of snow geese, who alight on Cayuga Lake during their annual trek north from warmer climates.

Sip craft beverages and more

There are so many wineries, distilleries, meaderies, and cideries in the Finger Lakes that you could fill an entire trip solely with sampling. 

Since wineries and vineyards get all the love, I’ll mention just a few of my top picks. Lamoreaux Landing Wine Cellars makes my all-time favorite Moscato—light and fruity, with the barest hint of black pepper. It also has don’t-miss views of Seneca Lake. 

Wine tasting at Lamoreaux Landing Wine Cellars in Lodi

Though I tend to prefer whites, roses, and light reds, the mildly cedary Cabernet Franc at Bright Leaf Vineyard could convert me. And Herman J. Wiemer, which is both architecturally beautiful and forward-thinking in its growing methods, makes some of the country’s best-loved Rieslings.

If vodka, whiskey, brandy, and liqueur are more your speed, you’ll find plenty of makers. Like their winery counterparts, most use locally grown grains and fruits in their products. 

A great place to start is Finger Lakes Distilling, which crafts whiskey, gin, brandy, grappa, and three different fruit liqueurs. I’m a special fan of the Maplejack Liqueur, an apple brandy aged in oak barrels, with New York maple syrup added to the finished product. Four Fights Distilling, a micro-batch distillery in Corning, makes the usual suspects like whiskey and vodka. But it also specializes in uncommon selections like moonshine and barrel-rested beverages.

Cider Creek Hard Cider uses 100% New York State apples and no sugar or artificial sweeteners to create a range of accessible French-style and fruit-blended ciders. For something a little left-field, try Earle Estates Meadery, which makes unique meads (fermented-honey wines). 

Can’t decide? Try a map-guided tasting experience, like the Southern Finger Lakes Beverage Trail. I’m not an expert on breweries, but you’ll find three dozen-ish listed on The Finger Lakes website.

Enjoy dining locally

Salt of the Earth Restaurant in Union Springs

As with the beverage scene, dining in the Finger Lakes is rich and varied. With its happy mishmash of cuisine styles, Port’s Café in Geneva is the rare restaurant that’s beloved by both locals and tourists. The regular menu is good, but the rotating specials are even better.

New York Kitchen in Canandaigua is a nonprofit collaboration of several organizations, including the Rochester Institute of Technology and the New York Wine and Grape Foundation. It serves upscale, farm-to-table versions of pub favorites and ocal craft beverages.

In Watkins Glen, Graft Wine + Cider Bar, owned by local chefs, is the region’s only wine and cider bar, restaurant, and market. Seafood—especially the PEI mussels in a red curry cream sauce—is the standout here. Unless you’re gluten-free, order the warm sourdough bread. You’ll be talking about it long after your trip is over. 

On the southern tip of Keuka Lake, the Park Inn in Hammondsport (built in 1861) is a boutique inn and restaurant. Here you’ll find locally focused dishes and a 200-plus-selection wine list in the dining room. I usually go for a craft cocktail made with locally sourced ingredients like fruits, purees, and herbs. 

Drive east, around Cayuga Lake, for a pair of worthy food stops. Opened in 2021, Salt of the Earth is warm and laid-back. Its menu encompasses perennial favorites like burgers, tacos, and freshly plucked salads, alongside hearty specials like shrimp and cauliflower “grits.” Save room for dessert: You’ll want to savor the generous portion of small-batch ice cream from local maker Little Cow. 

Little Cow Salted Caramel Praline Ice Cream: Salt of the Earth

At 1833 Restaurant & Bar, indulge in rich appetizers (the burrata, served with marinated tomatoes, is exceptional) and flavorful entrées like Iberico ham served with broccolini, chorizo, and potato hash.

Appetizer at 1883 Restaurant and Bar in Aurora

Call it a night

The 1833Restaurant and Bar makes it an easy night by lodging where you dine.  It’s located in the Inns of Aurora, five separate boutique hotels in one historic district along the shores of a former Erie Canal resort town. Founded by Pleasant Rowland, the creator of the American Girl doll, the Inns of Aurora are exquisite in every detail, from their location overlooking the longest of the Finger Lakes to their décor, collections of original art, luxury spa, and curated guest experiences.

Queen Premier Lakeview Room at the Inns of Aurora

All photos in this article courtesy of Robin Catalano, Once More to the Shore

READ MORE FROM ROBIN–Road Trip Inspiration in the Finger Lakes and Upstate New York:

Finger Lakes Road Trip: Watkins Glen & Seneca Lake

1000 Islands Road Trip: Penn Yan to Clayton, Cape Vincent & Sackets Harbor

The post Best Things to do in the Finger Lakes: A Four-Seasons Destination appeared first on We Said Go Travel.

Blowing Bubbles with Rachel Novak, Miss Mermaid Nevada and Freediving Instructor

Thank you Rachel Novak for joining me on my podcast!

Rachel Novak — Miss Mermaid Nevada, Freediving & Mermaid Instructor, Stunt Performer, Mermaid Performance Artist, Content Creator

Rachel Novak is a PFI and SSI freediving and mermaid instructor based in Las Vegas, Nevada. She was named Fire Entertainer of the Year 2016, Miss Mermaid Nevada 2022, and Miss Sea Queen of Nevada 2023. Rachel is no stranger to the stage or the camera! She works as a professional mermaid and fire entertainer, was an official commentator for the Vertical Blue 2021 freediving competition in the Bahamas, and worked as a stunt performer on Marvel’s Black Panther 2: Wakanda Forever, where she used her diving skills (both scuba and freediving) to perform underwater stunts.

Rachel is the owner and content creator for The Sailing Siren on YouTube, a freediving and travel vlog that highlights the freediving communities, sailing adventures, and unique freediving destinations around the world. She owns and manages the brand Aquanauts Freediving, which includes an athleisure clothing line for merfolk and freedivers, freediving and mermaid courses, and customized mermaid and fire performances. Rachel is a passionate advocate for freediving education and believes that those who care most about ocean conservation are those who spend time in the water. She is dedicated to helping others learn how to safely explore the underwater world on one breath. Rachel was invited to compete on season 15 of American Ninja Warrior, which films in spring of 2023.

Lisa Niver and Rachel Novak at the 2022 Scuba Show

FROM OUR INTERVIEW

Lisa Niver:

Good morning and welcome back. This is Lisa Niver from We Said Go Travel, and I am so honored and thrilled and excited to be here today with you with my favorite mermaid, Rachel Novak.

Rachel Novak:

Hi.

Lisa Niver:

Oh, my gosh, ever since we met at the scuba show I’ve wanted to talk to you more. I’m so excited to talk to an actual real mermaid.

Rachel Novak:

Well, thank you for having me on your show. I’m really excited.

Lisa Niver:

Let’s tell the audience about you: You currently live in Nevada, and you’re Miss Mermaid Nevada. Did you grow up in the desert and you were desperate for the water? Were you born in the water? How did this happen?

Rachel Novak:

It’s kind of this crazy path that I took to it. I’m a pharmacist and I also work as a circus artist. But throughout pharmacy school, I needed some sort of creative outlet and so the circus was my fitness, my social life, pretty much the other half of me. From there, I used to work as a fire dancer quite a bit. I got into mermaiding because eventually at some point in time I wanted to have another skillset to add to my repertoire of things to book me for. So, I got into mermaiding. Because of mermaiding that’s what got me into diving. I wanted to be a better mermaid, so it went from progressing into diving and going all the way up to dive master and then progressing into free diving and going all the way to free diving instructor. So, that’s kind of the long story for how I became a mermaid.

Lisa Niver:

You’re incredibly well trained and have a whole YouTube channel, The Sailing Siren.

One of the things I love about your YouTube channel is that you share your challenges. Could you talk about the video about failing the first time you were trying to be an instructor. For me personally, I think it’s really important that people who see you as this incredible mermaid and so talented and so skilled and an instructor know that it wasn’t just a walk in the park. You had struggles. Because people have struggles and think I’ll never be like her, but it’s very valuable that you’ve shared that it was challenging.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Rachel Novak//Freediver (@thesailingsiren)

Rachel Novak:

For those of you who haven’t seen my YouTube channel, my YouTube channel started when I went from having no formal free diving experience all the way going through the instructor course. The reason why I wanted to document it is to give people an idea of what to expect in a course because you say, oh, it should take me two to three days to pass a course. I wanted to humanize the fact that — that is in absolutely perfect situations where somebody can equalize perfectly. For me, one of my biggest challenges was learning how to equalize properly in a head down position, because it’s different than scuba diving. So, it took me quite a while to figure that out.

I wanted to be able to share that with people. Especially on that video, people related to how they failed, too. Now that I’m an instructor, I can say you just have to put a little bit more time in, and it’s just about learning about your body and figuring out what works for you.

Lisa Niver:

I think that’s so valuable, and I really appreciate you being honest about that. We’ve all learned over time. And now you are a free driving instructor and a scuba instructor. Tell us about how you’re in Black Panther 2, the movie.

Rachel Novak:

Over a year ago, I saw a post on a free diving memes Instagram that I follow. It said looking for people comfortable modeling elaborate costumes on breath hold with no masks working in depths. I thought- I’m a mermaid. I got this.

I didn’t hear anything back, but I kept the dates on open and about four days before I got a call from the stunt coordinator. He interviewed me about my background, so said I’d like to hire you. I thought great, but what am I on? Because around that time Avatar was shooting. Every free diver hopes that they might get to be a stunt performer on Avatar. But that did not happen. I still did not know what I was going to be on. When I landed on site where we were going to be shooting, the contract was in my DocuSign, and it said Black Panther 2 Wakanda Forever.

Lisa Niver:

What an incredible experience. You’ve been so fortunate to do things all around the world. I know part of the free diving course you were living in the Philippines. Is that right?

Rachel Novak:

Yes. So, I was in the Philippines for about six months. That was where I learned to become a free diving instructor. I wanted to be able to see some family while I was out there. I’m half Filipina, so it was nice to be able to get back to my roots while also getting to explore a beautiful place. The ocean out there is amazing.

Lisa Niver:

It is beautiful out there. I would really like to go back again, but you also meet people for courses in Washington, right?

Rachel Novak:

Yes. So I teach courses in Las Vegas and in Washington state. Primarily in Washington state, it’s during the summer just because it is a lot chillier.

Lisa Niver:

A lot chillier.

Rachel Novak:

If you’re going to be spending time in the water, it’s nice to be able to have adequate thermal protection and relatively warm dive conditions. So I do teach there and then I do setup courses across the US or wherever there is interest if there are enough people to book out a course.

Lisa Niver:

But you teach all different kinds of classes, right? You teach free diving but don’t you also teach a bucket list how to be a mermaid class?

Rachel Novak:

Yes. So I teach SSI and PFI free diving and mermaiding courses. So if somebody wants to learn how to be a mermaid, we can go from just an intro of trying to put on a tail all the way up to I want to be an underwater model and I want to get free diving skills so I can have a longer breath hold, dive deeper in a mermaid tail, and mermaid out on the reefs with no mask on. So it goes all the way up from beginner to professional.

Lisa Niver:

That is incredible. One thing I would like to make a good pause here to talk about with mermaiding and free diving is the importance of not being alone. That people should not ever breath hold under water without an instructor, without skills and just think I’m going to see how long I can hold my breath. Can you talk a little bit about the safety concern?

Rachel Novak:

Yes. Absolutely. I say this with my free diving students as well. But while many of us are do-it-yourselfers, learn it off of YouTube and while I have a YouTube channel, is strongly say that a YouTube education is not going to be a complete education. So definitely take a course because if you’re just starting out, you don’t know what you don’t know and you don’t know the potential safety sides of things. Especially in the free dive community when people, if you hear about a free diving related fatality in the news it’s usually somebody who’s diving alone and often they don’t have diving education. So, this is something that we’re trying to stress in the free diving community, especially since free diving is becoming much, much bigger in the US. We also want to make sure that we have access to places to dive and places to train and that free diving has a good reputation as it grows in the US.

Lisa Niver:

Yes. Very important. I remember that you do something with free diving competitions.

Rachel Novak:

Yeah. So I dabble in free diving competitions as well. I was a commentator for Vertical Blue so it was nice being able to talk about the amazing accomplishments of people in the free diving community. Many of them whose deepest dives or their warmup dives are deeper than my deepest dives.

Lisa Niver:

That’s okay. It’s not a contest. Oh, it is a contest. Go on.

Lisa Niver and Rachel Novak at the 2022 Scuba Show

Rachel Novak:

But that’s the thing, especially with free diving, people are so approachable and there’s always going to be somebody who dives deeper than you. It’s all about the learning process and it’s all about going with what your body is able to accomplish at the time. So, I get into the world of competitions and it’s a completion against yourself. It’s how deep can I dive and how deep can I do it safely, know my body, and progressing at a safe level. So, I am starting to dabble more on the competitive side as well as continuing on the commentary side.

Lisa Niver:

So we see you behind the camera, in front of the camera, under the water, above the water. You’ve got flames. You’ve got the ocean; you’re also helping people look more beautiful in all of these things. Tell us about how can we find your clothing line and what’s in your clothing line?

Rachel Novak:

I’m also an avid backpacker and trail runner among other things. I often don’t have a lot of space in my backpacking pack. I wanted to have a modular clothing line, so something that I could use while out trail running–yoga pants and sports bras. Then I also provide thermal protection. So if you’re out on the reefs you’re not using sunscreens that are unfriendly to corals. You’re actually using rash guards that match with the leggings and the sports bras if you want. I wanted to have something that was ocean themed for free divers, mermaids, and people who are generally active. As far as where people can find that, they can find that at www.aquanautsfreediving.com. It’s like astronauts but aquanauts.

Lisa Niver:

And we’ll put that in the show notes so people can click through and find you. Give us an example, does it have mermaids on it or is it colorful or how do we know that it’s your aquanauts line? What’s special about how does it look?

Rachel Novak:

Well, some of them are like cheesy mermaid jokes, because if you’re in the mermaid community we have all sorts of mermazing and fintastic puns. So, if you are a mermaid and happen to see some of those on certain t-shirts, this is one of the shirts that I have on there. It’s fairly generic. I also have it on my laptop cover. Give me vitamin sea. I love spending time in the water and obviously being in a landlocked state I don’t get to do that as much as I’d like. I do get to spend a lot of time in the water. So, as far as leggings and sports bras, like I said, they are matching and modular so you can mix and match. But I have mermaid scales and then I have some other brighter colors as well.

Lisa Niver:

You have so much going on between being a movie stunt performer and a model and saving the ocean with no sunscreen, but you also are very active in ocean conservation. Are there some things where people could participate with you or maybe you could give tips like what can people do if they’re also in a landlock state but they care about the ocean.

Rachel Novak:

Absolutely. It’s not necessarily just caring about the ocean being in a landlocked state. There are so many beautiful waterways, especially here in Las Vegas. I spend a lot of time out on the Colorado River and Lake Mead and Lake Mojave. It’s nice to be able to do a dive site clean-up or a beach clean-up. There are definitely ways that you can get involved. As far as the most recent beach clean up that I’ve been a part of, if you’ve ever heard of the 321 Free Dive Conference that happened this year. It was the first free diving specific conference in the US or basically in North America. We were actually able to organize a beach clean-up in conjunction with 4Ocean. A lot of the participants were able to come, pick up trash, and then also learn about free diving from free divers from all over the world.

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A post shared by Rachel Novak//Freediver (@thesailingsiren)

Lisa Niver:

That’s amazing. 4Ocean, they’re the ones that have the bracelets made out of recycled things that they’ve taken out of the water at the trash clean-up?

Rachel Novak:

Yes. The organizer of that event, Jennifer Morgan, she was in contact with 4Ocean, and I believe for every…there’s a certain amount that they’ll actually pledge to pick up Ocean plastic for everything that you purchase from them. It’s just nice to be able to know that you are supporting and being supported by a company that also cares about the ocean.

Lisa Niver:

That’s very exciting. Now I know there’s something new and exciting coming up for you. I mean already we’ve said you’re a free diving instructor, you’re available for events, you mermaid at events, you do photos, but now you’re going to do something different on television. Tell us what’s going to happen next because this is one of my favorite shows. I can’t wait to watch you.

Rachel Novak:

We’ll see how it goes, but I was invited to compete on American Ninja Warrior. I’m really excited, but at the same time I’m a free diver and most of the time I’ve got little chicken arms. I do like rock climbing, but it’s a very, very different technique. I don’t know if you can see it, but I’ve got blisters on my hands from all the pullups that I’ve been doing in the ninja gym. But I’m really excited to be able to go on this show and just do the best that I can with the six weeks that I have to train. We’ll see where it goes from there.

Lisa Niver:

I think it’s so beautiful that you’re always challenging yourself in different ways.

Rachel Novak:

I interact with flame. I interact with water and now American Ninja Warrior to me is like interacting with crazy obstacles.

Lisa Niver:

What made you decide you wanted to be a ninja next?

Rachel Novak:

A casting producer contacted me on my Instagram. And said– we are looking for applicants for the upcoming year, season 15. I thought: Why not. I used to watch that as a kid. That would be really funny if I actually got on. I applied by the deadline. Then the holidays passed and I didn’t hear anything back. I was out free diving with a friend in the springs in Florida when I got a phone call from a number that I didn’t know. I found out later on the voicemail –that it was a casting director from American Ninja Warrior. “We’d like to extend an opportunity for you to compete. Please give us a call back.”

So, I called and found out that they want me to compete. Now I have six weeks to train. I am going anywhere between two to six hours a day.

Lisa Niver:

Oh, wow. A lot of training. Well, we will all be rooting for you. That is for sure. So which thing started the journey? Was fire dancing the beginning of circus or how did you get into circus in the beginning?

Rachel Novak:

At age 16 I was living in a small town in Southern Oregon and I saw somebody spinning basically balls on a cord. You see this primarily in Polynesian cultures. It’s called poi. I was like oh, my gosh, you spin poi. I have to learn how to do that. We ended up becoming friends. He taught me and from there it was a progression of picking up skills and getting better as I was progressing through pharmacy school. Once again, I said with pharmacy school you’re so busy all day that you really don’t have time to go out and have a job, at least during the day, and so I would be doing shows at night. In between my sets you’d have four to five sets a night. In between sets I’d be stretching in the green room and studying my pharmacology.

So, that’s kind of what started everything. Along with pharmacy came circus and then when I graduated and got a job as a pharmacist part-time. Performing is something that I’m very passionate about. I’m very happy that I took the jump and worried that my boss was going to think I’m the weirdest pharmacist ever, but they were really accommodating. So, I was able to have a career both in circus and in pharmacy. From there, I moved over to Vegas because I wanted to be on a show here, and I was able to book out a contract on a show. Now I’m doing it freelance because you are able to set your schedule.

Lisa Niver:

Wow. One of the things I most loved when I first met you at the scuba show is that you have built this incredible mosaic for your life. You’re figured out that these are the things I need to do to make my life work. I make money in different ways. You’re always looking for new adventures and new skills and bringing people along. It’s really so inspiring. I think that people will be so interested.

Let’s say someone is interested in free diving and mermaiding and said to you–but if I’m a bit afraid of this idea but I’m also a little bit curious. What would you recommend to people? How do they get started?

Rachel Novak:

This is something that works for rock climbing, for skydiving, for scuba diving, for free diving. A lot of different activities that I already do. It’s really about just taking the time to educate yourself. So, for fire dancing I started out with different tutorials on YouTube without the fire. Then when it got to the point where it was a potentially scarier or riskier part that’s when I took on mentors and when you have a mentor who’s able to help you through some of the potential safety issues of whatever you decide to do or if you’re scared they can at least validate what you’re feeling and then tell you whether or not from their experience that is something that you should be afraid of or something that you should slowly and sequentially challenge.

It’s the same thing with free diving, too. When people are in a free diving course, a lot of the time they’re worried about the depth, but you build the foundation, and you say you know you have breath hold that will take you all the way down to the depth that you need to do and you tell them the safety aspects of it.

So, if you notice this then you turn back around. So, it’s basically like having a mentor and educating yourself if you want to summarize things.

Lisa Niver:

I do and that was really beautiful, but you snuck something in there that we didn’t talk about. You’re also a skydiver?

Rachel Novak:

Yeah. I have an A license, so I am a baby jumper. I have 38 jumps under my belt solo, but once again that is another amazing community to be a part of. I would say that I’m a baby skydiver as well.

Lisa Niver:

I don’t know what I am if you’re a baby because I did 50 challenges before I turned 50 and for my 50th birthday I did one tandem jump, so I’ve only been one time. I think you’re way bigger than a baby to be honest. Thirty-eight sounds like a lot of jumps.

Rachel Novak:

It’s just like free diving or just like mermaiding. There’s always somebody with more jumps than you, too. You have to find somebody that you can learn from.

Lisa Niver:

It’s true and you are literally so inspiring and I’m impressed that you have been part of major motion pictures. You’re going to be on American Ninja Warrior and you’re working hard to save our planet and help people make their dreams come true by either being a mermaid that they can meet or training people to be a mermaid.

Before we let you go because obviously you have to go back to the gym and get underwater and get the fire and jump out of a plane. It’s a busy time. Remind everybody what are the best ways to find you and follow you and book you and learn with you and jump out of planes with you.

Rachel Novak:

If you are interested in following my journey through American Ninja Warrior or want to find free diving and travel-related content you can look me up on YouTube and Instagram @thesailingsiren.

Then if you want to book a course with me, whether it’s mermaiding, free diving, or you want to book me as a mermaid or an entertainer at your next event you can look me up at www.aquanautsfreediving.com and you can also find me on Instagram and Facebook under those handles, too.

Lisa Niver:

And tell us the last thing with being Miss Mermaid Nevada, is there an event? Can we watch the next Miss Mermaid Nevada or how does that work?

Rachel Novak:

There are mermaid competitions out there and mermaid pageants. A few years ago, it was during the pandemic, and I applied to win a title and once again it was — whatever happens, happens. I was awarded a title to compete and then there is a conference called Mermagicon, a convention for merfolk to get together. It was an actual pageant there. There I scored top 10 and won some runway awards for modeling and from there, there were title holders that were able to continue to advocate for the different volunteer platforms. There are ways that you can participate in those but that’s a whole other can of worms.

Another thing is I won the title of Miss Sea Queen of Nevada. There was a competition with Virgin Cruises and there is more information that I’m not allowed to talk about yet, but I can say stay tuned for later this year if you want to see something on the big screen.

Lisa Niver:

Oh, my goodness. You’ll have to keep me posted. I knew you’d have more stuff going on. I’m so excited that you’re telling us a little tidbit. Again, everyone, we’ve been spending time not quite underwater with our favorite mermaid, Rachel Novak, and you can find all her information on The Sailing Siren, and we are wishing you so much luck. We hope that we see you on the top of the mountain at the end of the season for American Ninja Warrior.

Rachel Novak:

I hope so, too. If not, maybe next year but I’m definitely going to do my best. Thank you so much for having me and letting me share some of the things that I love talking about.

Lisa Niver:

Thank you so much, and I look forward to blowing bubbles with you soon.

Rachel Novak:

Yes. Absolutely. Take care.

FOLLOW RACHEL: YouTube, Instagram, Facebook and her clothing line

Rachel Novak and Lisa Niver filming for the podcast

The post Blowing Bubbles with Rachel Novak, Miss Mermaid Nevada and Freediving Instructor appeared first on We Said Go Travel.

Women Wonder & Wander! Niver’s News: March 2023

March News 2023 with Lisa Niver & We Said Go Travel:March is Women’s History Month! I celebrated by going to the 10th annual Women’s Travel Fest in NYC, skiing with my friend of 38 years & my dad and interviewing strong incredible women for my podcast. Thank you to my friend of 12 years, Alexandra Jimenez, Travel Fashion Girl, for inviting me to WOMEN’S TRAVEL FEST! There were so many amazing speakers! DO not have FOMO!! You can watch them all with a virtual pass. CLICK HERE to get yours !Thank you to my friend, Pip Jones, who I met traveling last year in Iceland for inviting me on her podcast, Travel Goals Podcast. We talked about how travel is for EVERYONE (not just young people!) Lisa and my dad, Frank, at Park City, Utah 2023Skiing with Carl and my Dad in Park City, UtahI am honored to be a speaker at FOUR Travel & Adventure Shows in 2023! I spoke in Los Angeles, Chicago and NYC in January and February! Please join me in DALLAS –April 1 and 2, 2023 at Dallas Market Hall.

“Discover endless vacation options from the top travel providers and destinations from around the globe. Meet one-on-one with thousands of travel experts who are on hand to help you find, personalize, and book your next trip. Uncover thousands of dollars in savings with exclusive travel deals and show-only specials. Receive expert advice and learn how to travel like an insider from dozens of educational seminars. Plus, meet Samantha Brown, Andrew McCarthy, Peter Greenberg, Pauline Frommer, Patricia Schultz, LISA NIVER and more!” Click here to buy tickets and get a special rate with my discount code GOTRAVEL23

I am grateful my dream of speaking at the Travel and Adventure Show came true! THANK YOU for watching my podcast! It has now been seen and heard in 16 countries on 4 continents!

My #podcast MAKE YOUR OWN MAP now watched in 16 #countries on 4 #continents USA Singapore UK Italy Switzerland Hong Kong Canada Netherlands Japan France Latvia Philippines Australia Mexico Guatemala Germany https://t.co/DLubaMesNH pic.twitter.com/BFvCXtak5F

— Lisa Niver (@LisaNiver) March 24, 2023

New PODCAST episodes with: Lisa Genova, NYTimes Bestselling author and neuroscientist, Travels with Darley, Emmy Award winning host, Christie Tate, NYTimes Bestselling author & Reese’s Book Club and Laura Carney, author of My Father’s List. WATCH my video podcast, “MAKE YOUR OWN MAP: Are YOU ready to be BRAVE?” on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Podcast,  Google Podcasts, Audible, Anchor & iHeart Radio WHERE CAN YOU FIND MY TRAVEL VIDEOS?

Here is the link to my video channel on YouTube where I have NEARLY TWO MILLION views on YouTube! (Exact count: 1,820,000 views)

Thank you for your support! Are you one of my 3,880 subscribers? I hope you will join me and subscribe! For more We Said Go Travel articles, TV segments, videos and social media: CLICK HERE

Find me on social media with over 150,000 followers. Please follow  on TikTok: @LisaNiver, Twitter at @LisaNiver, Instagram @LisaNiver and on Facebook, Pinterest, YouTube, and at LisaNiver.com.

Video Podcast: “Make Your Own Map!”

Fortune Cookie SAID:

A dream you have will come true.

Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the conquest of it.

My 38th friendship anniversary with Carl in Park City, Utah!!

The post Women Wonder & Wander! Niver’s News: March 2023 appeared first on We Said Go Travel.

Laura Carney FOUND and FINISHED her Father’s BUCKET List!

Thank you Laura Carney for joining me on my podcast!

Laura talked to us about finding her father’s bucket list, deciding to complete it and writing her book!

My Father’s List: How Living My Dad’s Dreams Set Me Free

Laura Carney is a writer and copy editor in New York. She’s been published by the Washington Post, the Associated Press, The Hill, Runner’s World, People magazine, Guideposts, Good Housekeeping, The Fix, Upworthy, Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper and other places, and her book My Father’s List: How Living My Dad’s Dreams Set Me Free is being published by Post Hill Press in July 2023. Her work as a copy editor has been primarily in magazines, for 20 years, including Good Housekeeping, People, Guideposts, Vanity Fair, and GQ. She’s @myfatherslist on Instagram and Twitter, and her websites are myfatherslist.com and bylauracarney.com.

Lisa Niver:

Good morning. This is Lisa Niver from We Said Go Travel, and I’m so excited to be here with author Laura Carney. Hi, Laura.

Laura Carney:

Hi. Thanks for having me.

Lisa Niver:

I’m so excited to hear about your book, My Father’s List. It’s incredible what’s happening with the publicity for your book. Everyone wants to talk to you about this incredible journey you’ve been on. So, tell us, tell all the listeners a little bit about how did this happen? I know you found your father’s bucket list. So, tell us a bit about how that happened.

Laura Carney:

My father passed away in 2003, because of a distracted driver, a teenager who was making a phone call. It wasn’t until 13 years later–the year that I got married, and my brother also got married, my husband and I were visiting my younger brother at his first house, he had just purchased a condo. We had gone up to celebrate that, and he was a couple of weeks away from his wedding, and in the process of the move, he had found this little pouch that had my dad’s list in it. Nobody knew it existed, except for my mom, we found out later. She actually was there when he wrote it. I was a baby. It was 1978 when he wrote it.

As soon as we saw it, it was a lightning bolt kind of moment, where I knew immediately, I needed to finish it for him. Again, there’s no waffling. No like, oh, that seems crazy. It was just, we loved it so much, because it was so funny, and the items on it were so him. It was like, of course this is what he wanted to do. And my husband was the one who actually said it first, “this is your book. You need to finish this and write about it.” And you know, I always joke, thank goodness he said it before, because he ended up being the main person who was doing these list items with me.

Lisa Niver:

There’s so much to talk about in that, what you just shared, so, first of all, I’m so sorry about your father that what a horrible thing for you to grow up without him. That must have been. I’m so sorry.

Laura Carney:

I know. Yeah, I was 25. So I was an adult, but it was more like I didn’t get to experience a lot of the adult milestones.

Lisa Niver:

And I know you’ve done some activism about distracted driving.

Laura Carney:

I did actually. You know, it’s so weird: I always like to say that everything goes back to running for me, because I wasn’t an athletic person. At least, I didn’t perceive myself, not since I was a kid. I played all different sports as a kid. But when I was 35, I took up running. It was just because my coworkers at Good Housekeeping were all running marathons. You know, my old jobs, we went to happy hour, and this place, they didn’t do that. They were more wholesome. So, I thought, okay, I’ll try running.

And next thing I knew, an article came across my desk one day about distracted driving, and it was about a man. His name is Joel Feldman, whose daughter had been killed by a distracted driver, and as soon as I saw it, I remembered that the driver had been on a phone in my dad’s crash. So, I called him up the next day. I said, I think I’ve had an experience with this, can I help you?

So, he had me talking in a high school with him a few months later, and that was really the beginning of it, because since I was already a runner, now, I just started raising funds for him with my runs. And I think what happened was, the running was helping me release my grief. I had so much, mostly anger, but anger and grief just bottled inside of me, and when I would be moving my body in this, you know, vigorous way, it was almost like I was just releasing these toxins out, you know, and I would always find myself crying. Not always, but often, and I think it was also because I felt like I was doing something empowering with the grief. Like, here I am raising money for this organization that’s trying to save lives.

So, you know, I did it that way. I never really became someone who was doing lots of talks, I think because, you know, it wasn’t my child. Like it wasn’t, you know, it was a little bit different for me. And I also started to feel like, something about it just, I wasn’t as good at it as other people were. I just wasn’t into the legal side as much. I’m a writer. I’m much more comfortable behind the scenes. So, when the list appeared, for me, it was just like, this is a really inspiring form of activism. Like this feels like something that is right for me to do, because if I if I’m talking about someone’s dreams, and I’m kind of illustrating to the world, this is what’s lost if a person loses their life, so, that honestly that, yeah, my activism and my writing, those things were the catalyst for that moment to happen, and certainly my wedding, too.

But yeah, when I started doing the list, it’s almost like everything in the years leading up to that had been preparing me for it.

Lisa Niver:

You were in the right place at the right time.  So, this is where I got confused. He wrote the list when you were a baby, that’s why I was thinking you grew up without him. Now, I understand. Did he do any of the things on the list before he died?

Laura Carney:

He did. Yeah. I mean, my brother and I were just marveling over the fact that he had checked off five of the items and marked one as having failed at, you know, just as many as like, he did things like a comedy monologue in a nightclub (thank goodness, because I didn’t want to do that). And he did go to the World Series game, and he wrote the score next to it, as proof. He helped his parents enjoy their retirement. He developed an impressive record collection. The one that he failed, that was “pay my dad back $1,000 plus interest,” which made me kind of sad, because it just meant that my grandfather passed away before he was able to do that.

Lisa Niver:

You talked about the World Series. And there were quite a few sports ones on the list. You went to the Rose Bowl and the Super Bowl. Were you a sporty family? Because you said you weren’t that athletic.

Laura Carney:

He and my brother were, and my brain would shut off when they would talk about sports. They loved sports. But yeah, I mean, he took us to games, all kinds. Basketball, baseball, college football games. He was a huge sports fan. My brother was, too. I mean, he coached me in sports as though I was a boy.

Lisa Niver:

You were very athletic. What was the picture you sent me with something about the best seed. Was that tennis, but your foot was in a cast?

Laura Carney:

That was arrogance on my part, because I did play on the tennis team in high school, and I considered it my best sport. So I thought, oh, I’ll just do this in one day. This is fine. And I was playing against a friend, my husband’s best friend, who’s a tennis coach, and I was kind of having some stomach issues, and my husband’s like, oh, I’ll do it instead of you. It’s okay. And I said, no, no, no, no. I’m going to get this done today. And like, as soon as I got out there, like, I just tore a tendon in my foot. Like, one wrong move, and then I had to get surgery. And it just, I mean, that, in a way became the most involved list item just because of what happened that day. And you know, in many ways, my greatest teacher, because I realized, I could have just not played, and anytime I approach a list item with arrogance, like, this is going to be easy, or like, arrogance, or rushing, like, let’s just get this out of the way, you know, stuff like that, it doesn’t work. That’s been the case. So, what I started learning was, if I’m doing this with humility, so, no ego, I’m doing this with kindness, and I’m doing it to promote somebody else, that’s usually when they work out.

Lisa Niver:

Those are really good lessons for people listening, who also want to do things from a bucket list, that you really have to pay attention. There’s risks personally, and you have to pick well. Tell us about corresponding with the Pope, how’d that happen?

Laura Carney:

I put that off towards the end, just because it seemed impossible. I thought this surely is the one, this is the one that’s going to do me in, that is going to be…you know, you can’t even call him “he,” the pronoun he uses is “His Holiness”…like His Holiness might not respond. And I consulted a priest in New York, a Jesuit priest who is comfortable in the media. He works with Martin Scorsese. Like he does a lot, and he wrote me back, unbelievably, and said, just try it, he might write back. So, I thought, well, this guy seems to have an audience with Pope Francis more than most priests, so, maybe…I’m not saying he put a word in for me, but maybe he knows something. So, I went ahead and I wrote the letter. And I just crafted it really well. I put a lot of thought into what I wanted to tell His Holiness, and you can you can google online, there’s a proper etiquette to writing to the Pope. And most people don’t know this, but he will write back, or somebody will who works under him, who they say represents him.

Lisa Niver:

That’s so amazing. So, the Pope and then also a president, you have corresponded with, right?

Laura Carney:

Yeah, President Jimmy Carter. I was doing a TV show, an interview right at the very beginning of doing the list, and somebody wrote to me, someone emailed me and said, you know, if any president will do, Jimmy Carter still teaches Sunday school every Sunday in Plains Georgia, and he was 92, at the time. He’s not doing it anymore now, so I emailed his health liaison, and she said she could give me a tour of the Carter Center if I came down, and she told me to get in touch with the innkeeper because there’s like one innkeeper in town and she’s the one who makes sure you can get into the church, like you can get a pew, because sometimes he would have 500 people and they couldn’t get everybody in. So, we basically went in there like we were VIPs. So, we got to sit right behind where he was sitting. But that still didn’t ensure that I was going to be able to talk to him. It wasn’t like just be in the vicinity of a president, it was talk to the president. So, just by total coincidence, we ended up at the hotel at the same time as one of his biographers. And you know, being a journalist, I had been bingeing everything, Jimmy Carter for like a week, and so, I could talk to Art about him, and kind of hold my own. And that went on for two or three hours.

Lisa Niver:

You talked to him for two or three hours?

Laura Carney:

In the parking lot. Yeah, my husband, kind of chiming in sometimes, but mostly just watching it because he found it very entertaining.

Lisa Niver:

Oh, my goodness, how incredible.

Laura Carney:

Yeah, and he kept…it was funny, because his name is Art Milnes. He’s actually a Canadian speechwriter for Prime Ministers, and he kept throwing out all these names, like George HW Bush and George W Bush, and you know, people he’d met, and I got to my hotel room, I just Googled it, and it was like, there he was with each one of the men he’d been talking about and Jimmy Carter even spent the night in his house once in Canada. So, I mean, we’re pretty sure he put in a good word for us, and that’s why I got a few sentences. But the funny thing is like, we’re still friends now. Like, I just talked to Art last week, and to this day, we still don’t know. Like, we don’t know if he said anything to him, and he’ll probably never tell us.

Lisa Niver:

Well, that’s okay. I mean, what an incredible journey you’ve been on the last five years. And how did the experience of the COVID coaster change getting through your your list?

Laura Carney:

I’ve never heard it called that before.

Lisa Niver:

There were ups and downs in the COVID coaster.

Laura Carney:

That’s true. That’s very true. Like I don’t want to sound like I benefited from the pandemic, because I certainly didn’t. I had to stay away from my family, just like everybody else did. And also, I mean, my husband and I are quite privileged, in that we could both do our jobs from home. So, you know, we didn’t have to cope with a lot of hardships that so many people did. But at the same time, I was starting to write a book proposal then, and I suddenly had a lot of time and space to do that.

You know, I had list items that actually could be helped by the fact that we couldn’t leave the house and we couldn’t go certain places. So, like, have my own tennis court, suddenly, a Ping-Pong table sufficed, because we didn’t know when it was going to end. We might have been trapped in the house forever. So that was the closest I was going to come to having my own tennis court. Own a large house and our own land, that ended up being a very large tent, which if you look up house in the dictionary, it just says shelter. You know, it says a couple of things. But it says shelter. And we couldn’t travel anymore, but we were itching to travel. And the best we could come up with was camping. So, I was sitting there and it occurred to me, oh, my God, this is our large house, and we had just run every single street in our town, just because we were so restless. And I thought, well, that’s sort of like we owned our land. So, there were a lot of things like that that happened during the pandemic that was almost like, I mean, quite honestly, what it was teaching me was even in times that seem bleak, and terrible there are still glimmers of hope in your everyday life, and that my dad’s spirit, who had been helping me the entire time, like he’s still there helping me. He’s still helping me find like, the bright lining of everything.

Lisa Niver:

That was very beautiful. What you just said, yes. And that’s true. So, during the COVID, coaster, you had times where you weren’t traveling, but quite a few of your list are traveling including London and New Orleans. Were they places you also wanted to go or it was really you went because it was on your dad’s list?

Laura Carney:

Oh, yeah. I mean, there wasn’t ever a time where I was like, St. Thomas. God, don’t make me go there. Yeah, I wanted to go to all those places, and I had been. I mean, we’d been to Paris, already. I’d been to Los Angeles, already. I’ve been to Chicago. I’ve been to Las Vegas. So, a lot of them I had already checked off. Yeah, it was thrilling to get to go to each of those places. Sometimes it started to feel a bit much, like we went to New Orleans, and then San Diego, and then Miami, and then St. Thomas within a period of eight months. So, it was a lot of traveling and I got really good at traveling. I got so much better at packing, so much more efficient. Like it just started…I remember at one point I felt like getting on a plane, to me, started to feel like getting on a train, which is what, as a commuter to New York City, I would do every day. But yeah, it was a really interesting way to travel, too, I think, because I was always doing it as a researcher and as a writer, and I’m always looking for the things, like what would my dad have experienced if he checked this off himself? So, usually, that means very cultural or historic parts of the places I’m going to.

Lisa Niver:

Did you have a sense of how he picked the places? Was there a theme to it?

Laura Carney:

Yeah. Like the Rose Bowl, and the NCAA Final Four, and also the Super Bowl, I mean, because he’s a sports nut, like we were talking about, especially football, he really loved watching football. I think you could kind of narrow down each of these places to one thing, sometimes, that he was probably most interested in. So, for example, Vienna is the study of music, and my dad was a singer. So, he loved the Vienna Boys’ Choir, and surely he was interested in the history of music, and that’s why he wanted to go there. It was, you know, Vienna is also a cultural melting pot for Europe, and he was an American Studies major, who was also very interested in world history. So, that would have been something that he was curious about. London, I think everybody wants to go to London, but I knew he loved King Arthur. He was a writer, he loved literature. So, those are the things I’m focusing on when I went to London, and we actually made a side trip to Ireland, which is where my family’s from. So, that was really amazing, too.

And then, as far as San Diego goes, I had to go sailing in San Diego, because that’s where people do it. I mean, most naval bases in the world are in San Diego and my dad helped…he actually was like…he has a publishing company on the side, and he helped his friend publish her book called Sailing Is Fun in the 1970s, so I think that’s probably what he would have wanted to do. She was joking with me once though. She said, he was handing it out at marinas, where they already know how to sail. But anyway, yeah, that’s why I did that. In New Orleans, similar. We went to Jazz Fest that’s, you know, a town that’s famous for music. Yeah, that’s really how I was narrowing things down. St. Thomas, I think he probably wanted to go there, just because in the 1970s, the Caribbean became a very popular place for people to want to travel to. So, I think that’s probably what that was about.

Lisa Niver:

And I noticed when you were talking about the different places, you mentioned, Vienna, and singing, you recorded some songs also as part of this, right?

Laura Carney:

I did. It’s funny, I’ve been featured now on three TV shows singing, and it’s been a different song each time No, sorry, no, two TV shows and NPR. All of a sudden, I hear my voice at like nine o’clock in the morning. And each time without instrumental accompaniment. Thank you, but I don’t think of myself as a singer.

Lisa Niver:

I think a lot of people don’t think of themselves as a singer, or a sailor, or an athlete. And I think it’s really inspiring for people that you did it anyway.

Laura Carney:

Yeah, I can carry, I have good pitch, I can carry a tune, and the singing was, it was almost like any other list item. I mean, I’ve told people sometimes, when I did swim the width of a river, I was like, in the middle of this river and just thinking how am I going to do this, and all of a sudden, I could. Like I was a much less panicked person, coming back. And things like that would happen all the time, where suddenly I felt more confident, and like I couldn’t fail, if I had my dad helping me and if I was doing it to honor him. So, the same thing happened with singing. Like, I remember being startled when I first heard my voice while recording with my cousin who was helping me, because he’s a musician. And I said, what did you do to it? And he was like, nothing. This is just you. And I thought something’s going on here. Like, clearly my dad’s helping me, and I feel like he helped me write the book, too, quite honestly. Because you know, sometimes you read a passage and you’re like, did I do that? Like I can’t do…I’m not usually that good. You know what I mean?

Lisa Niver:

I think it’s fantastic. I have to say when I looked at the pictures you shared with me, one of my favorites was grow a watermelon.

Laura Carney:

Oh, that’s everybody’s favorite. So quirky. It’s so unusual. I mean, he liked to eat watermelon. That’s the closest I can come to you for why he would have wanted to do that. And you know, plant an apple tree, that’s easier to figure out because he was so American, and that’s Johnny Appleseed. That’s such an American thing to do. I don’t know why he wanted to grow a watermelon, but you know, we don’t have a backyard. We live in an apartment. So, I actually just grew it in a pot on my fire escape. And my husband helped a lot with that because he’s a morning person, I’m a night person. So, he was watering it every morning and I was watering it every evening. And by the end of the summer, we did have one little baby golf ball-sized sugar baby watermelon. And they’re supposed to get to be about like bowling ball size, but I think it’s because our bucket was so small. And it only reached, like I said, but it still tasted good.

Lisa Niver:

I think that everybody is going to love learning more about you and your dad’s list in your book. So, tell everybody, where can they find more if they want to see the pictures? They want to hear you singing? They want to buy the book? What’s the best way to find you? What should they do?

Laura Carney:

Oh, well, you can preorder the book at bylauracarney.com. That’s my website. I also have a newsletter sign-up on there. I’d like to update everyone every week on what’s going on. And @myfatherslist everywhere: Instagram, Facebook. And if you want to go to Twitter, I’m LAC30.

Lisa Niver:

Your book is available for preorder, and if people want to see you more, you’ve been everywhere, lately. The Daily Blast, Lester Holt, People Magazine. Congratulations on so much incredible coverage for your book, My Father’s List, and I I agree with you, I’m sure your father helped you with these challenges, and I bet he’s just so proud of what you’ve accomplished.

Laura Carney:

Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that. And it really, a lot of the lesson for me was just letting go, and just believing that he was.

Lisa Niver:

It has been so much fun to talk with you. I wish you the biggest and greatest success. I can’t wait until the next book comes out when you get to do your bucket list.

Laura Carney:

Yeah, yeah. I’m already doing it. So, that might be a good idea.

Lisa Niver:

Oh, you are doing a whole other list of your own? That’s awesome. All right. Well, we’ll have to talk about that on the next podcast. Thank you, so much, and good luck.

Laura Carney:

Thank you. Thanks for having me.

On the cusp of middle age, a newlywed journalist discovers and finishes the bucket list of her late free-spirited father.

Fifty-four adventures in five years. That’s what thirty-eight-year-old journalist Laura Carney embarked on when she discovered her late father Mick’s bucket list.

Killed in a car crash when Laura was twenty-five, Mick seemed lost forever. My Father’s List is the story of how one woman—with the help of family, friends, and even strangers—found the courage to go after her own dreams after realizing those of a beloved yet mysterious man. This is a story about secrets—and the freedom we feel when we learn to trust again: in life, in love, and in a father’s lessons on how to fully live.

Connect with Laura on her website, Twitter and Instagram

Years after her dad died in a car accident, Laura found the bucket list he left behind.

Since finding the handwritten list in 2016, she has diligently completed every item — including skydiving and meeting former Pres. Jimmy Carter, @helloross shares. pic.twitter.com/7wKQRHhIW1

— CBS Mornings (@CBSMornings) January 26, 2023

INSIDE EDITION: In Completing Her Late Father’s Bucket List, Daughter Faces Mortality: ‘I Had Something That Needed to Heal‘

INSIDE EDITION: Woman Finds Dad’s Bucket List Years After His Death, Vows to Complete It: ‘It’s What I Was Meant To Do’

PEOPLE MAGAZINE: Daughter Completes Bucket List Her Late Dad Made the Year She Was Born: ‘I Know He’s Proud’

The Washington Post: She found late father’s bucket list, then spent 6 years completing it

NPR: Daughter starts checking off things on her deceased father’s bucket list

Michael Carney was killed by a distracted driver and never had the chance to finish his bucket list.

His daughter Laura found it 13 years later and decided to complete it for him to honor his legacy.@Yamiche shares their story: https://t.co/OwxlGzDFLT

— NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt (@NBCNightlyNews) February 7, 2023

Laura Carney decided to complete her dad’s bucket list after she lost him unexpectedly in 2003. There were more than fifty items on the list, and it took her six years to complete. She shares what the scariest thing was on that list.#bucketlist #newjersey #lauracarney #journey pic.twitter.com/Bs0oGaK7Vd

— Daily Blast LIVE (@dailyblastlive) February 2, 2023

The post Laura Carney FOUND and FINISHED her Father’s BUCKET List! appeared first on We Said Go Travel.

The Perfumist of Paris by Alka Joshi is NOW Available!

I love Alka Joshi’s books. I wrote about The Henna Artist A Reese Witherspoon Book Club Pick (The Jaipur Trilogy 1) and The Secret Keeper of Jaipur (The Jaipur Trilogy Book 2) and her new book, The Perfumist of Paris (The Jaipur Trilogy Book 3) is available TODAY!

The Perfumist of Paris takes readers to 1970s Paris where Radha, a passionate assistant perfumer is trying to navigate her home life while building her career one scent at a time. Radha travels back to India in search of essential oils for her first major project and enlists the help of her sister, Lakshmi, and the courtesans of Agra. During her olfactory journey, her senses are awakened by India’s vibrant majestic flora, woods, herbs, and spices. Due to its unique biodiversity, India cultivates dozens of natural ingredients used in modern perfumery today, sourced from as far south as Kerala’s spice gardens to Aligarh’s northern flower fields.

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Born in Jodhpur, Rajasthan, India, Alka Joshi has lived in the United States since the age of nine. She has a BA from Stanford University and an MFA from California College of the Arts. She ran her own advertising and PR agency for 20 years. At 62, her debut novel, The Henna Artist, became an instant NYTimes Bestseller, a Reese Witherspoon Bookclub pick, was Longlisted for the Center for Fiction First Novel Prize, translated into 26 languages and is being developed into a series by Netflix. The sequel, The Secret Keeper of Jaipur, is also being translated into multiple languages and the third book in the Jaipur trilogy, The Perfumist of Paris, will be released TODAY!

New York Times Bestselling Author Alka Joshi Enlists LilaNur Parfums for ‘The Perfumist of Paris’ Book Tour

The discovery set offers readers of Alka Joshi’s upcoming novel a multi-sensorial understanding of main character Radha’s journey as a fledgling female perfumer in the ’70s.

FROM MS. MAGAZINE: 8 BOOKS THAT WILL TRANSPORT YOU:

While author Alka Joshi’s story starts in 1955 in Jaipur, India, I have to admit some of her descriptions reminded me of my travels there in 2013. I spent three months on the public bus traversing the sub-continent—and her descriptions of the colorful saris, delicate samosas and other tasty treats reminded all my senses (especially my sense of smell) of my adventures.

Women’s lives are intertwined from the village, to town, from one town to another and one life to another. The way that boys become men, and men act like boys, causes many dramas and traumas in this tale. The women find ways to run away from one life but are often surprised by the ways it catches up to you.

I was able to interview Alka Joshi for Thrive Global, “Writing and Rewriting during COVID with Alka Joshi.” And she interviewed me on her show, Reimagine:I wrote about Alka Joshi’s second book for the Jewish Journal and cannot wait for book three! Read all about it here: Travel back to India: The Secret Keeper of Jaipur

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A post shared by Alka Joshi (@thealkajoshi)

I also wrote about The Secret Keeper of Jaipur for Thrive Global in an article called Sizzling Summer Reads: Feel All Your Feelings. WATCH Alka Joshi on my PODCAST, Make Your Own Map: the 3Ps: PASSION, PERSEVERANCE and PATIENCE

The post The Perfumist of Paris by Alka Joshi is NOW Available! appeared first on We Said Go Travel.

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Christie Tate on how to be your own B.F.F!

Thank you Christie Tate for joining me on my podcast! Learn how to be your own B.F.F. -A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found from Christie Tate! I also loved her first book, GROUP, you can read about it here.

Christie Tate is a Chicago-based writer and essayist. She has been published in The New York Times (Modern Love), The Rumpus, The Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Eastern Iowa Review, and elsewhere. Kiese Laymon selected her essay, Promised Lands, as the winner of the New Ohio Review’s nonfiction contest, which was published Fall 2019.

10/23/20 Christie Tate author of “Group”FROM OUR INTERVIEW

Lisa Niver:

Good morning. This is Lisa Niver from We Said Go Travel and I’m so honored and excited to be speaking today with New York Times Best Selling Author and Reese’s Book Club author, Christie Tate. Hello.

Christie Tate:

Hi. I’m so happy to be here. Thank you for having me.

Lisa Niver:

Oh, my goodness, it is such an honor. I have loved both your books so, so much and I would love if you could talk a little bit to my audience about Group because I just loved how you shared what an incredible process it is to be in group therapy and how challenging it is, and just all the questions that came up for you. So, tell people about how did that happen that you wrote a whole book about how strangers saved your life in therapy.

Christie Tate:

I wrote Group over the period of five years and I knew I was going to write about it when I had originally gone to therapy because I was very, very lonely and I was very, very concerned that I was going to die alone, The way that I talk about it — I want a boyfriend, but what I was trying to say is I want a life, I want a family, I want people to be close to me but I was scared and I didn’t know how, and I didn’t have a lot of money. And I was a law student and I ended up in group therapy for two main reasons.

One was a good friend of mine had changed and I saw a light go on in her eyes and I thought– what is it? And she said, it’s my therapist, I do group. And I was like, ewe, group. And then she told me the price and group is–because you share the circle with other people and divide up the time– it was a lot cheaper and that appealed to my budget. And when I got there the therapist told me, if you want to work on relationships, if you want to build up intimacy, if you want to change your life, group is the way to do it, and he was so sure and so confident, and I was the opposite of that. I was buying single funeral plots and I was 27 years old.

I decided to hear the call and I did originally think– I’ll do this for a year and then when I become a lawyer and make the big bucks then I’ll go get a real therapist and do real therapy, but it turned out I understood how potent it was within the first three months and I stuck around, and my life changed dramatically and I could see the arc of what it had done to me.

It reminded me, this is a very audacious claim, but Cheryl Strayed’s Wild, her life changed as she walked the Pacific Crest Trail. It changed, she mourned, she grieved, she learned, she met herself out there, and that’s what happened to me in therapy except I just went back and forth to this little office in downtown Chicago, back and forth to therapy, and I thought, maybe someone else would like to know that this is possible, and that’s why I wrote the book.

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A post shared by Christie O. Tate (@christieotate)

Lisa Niver:

That’s so beautiful. I have been in group therapy and I understand what you’re saying, and I think, especially in this time where we’re still continuing on the COVID coaster, which I know is a lot about your second book which we’ll get to, but that people are really searching for how to get help…

Christie Tate:

Yeah.

Lisa Niver:

…and that’s really important to bring up — that therapy can be expensive.

Christie Tate:

Yeah, real expensive, and I was not in a position where I felt like I could wait. It was the beginning of my second year of law school so, I have all of second year and all of third year before I would have a full law job. I felt very precarious mentally and emotionally and I had started to have fantasies about how I might end my life and I thought I can’t wait two years I need something now and I don’t have any money so, what do I do?

Group therapy is not free, I had to take out extra loans and I just banked on it working and that my mental health had to become a priority because I scared myself, and I’m obviously very glad I did. But none of those decisions are easy and I wanted to story them because a lot of people are in that position every single day.

Lisa Niver:

It’s so true. We keep hearing in the news about people where we’re so shocked that someone has taken their life and there are really hard situations for people, and in Group you talk about feeling like a misfit and feeling alone and the loneliness, but you also you tell funny stories. Can you say a little bit about the breaking of the plates? I love that one.

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Christie Tate:

Well, yes. I am very, very dramatic. I don’t mean that in a pejorative way, I’m a very sensitive person and I feel things really, really deeply, and once I got into group it became safe for me to really explore the full extent of my rage, my loneliness, my sorrow, and my terror which I’d just been shoving down, and I had disordered eating which contributed to more repression, and when I got to group I had a full permission slip from my therapist and my group get it out. Let’s play full out.

I went through a breakup, it was very, very upsetting, and I was extra upset because I thought I’m a good girl. I go to group, I do the work, I’m emotionally working on myself, why did this man I loved so much break up with me? I was horrified that those things could still happen to someone who was in mental health treatment, which is absurd but that’s what I thought, and he dropped me off after telling me I was not the one and I was devastated, and I just picked every single dish out of my cabinet and threw it on the floor.

And that’s an expensive way to do rage, and then I was ashamed. Then I thought what have I done? I have no glasses, I have no plates, I have no platters. I threw a Thanksgiving platter on the floor that I had bought at Walgreens for 9.99, and what do I do? And I wanted to not be alone with the explosion of it all so, I put all the pieces in a bag and I took it to group and I put it in the middle of the floor between all the chairs and I said this is what I did, and it’s messy.

Coming to life and getting into rage and going all out in your emotions is really messy and I can’t be the only one…maybe I’m the only one who’s broken all my dishes, but I can’t be the only one who’s been surprised by the intensity of what I was holding onto. No wonder I was bulimic for years– a lot was going on inside of me. If I don’t have a way to get it out, bad things happen.

Lisa Niver:

I think it’s really so courageous of you to share the actual stories. I’m working on a memoir and I know for myself sometimes writing some of the pieces…I literally used to write until I was pretty sure I was going to throw up and then I would lie on the floor.

Christie Tate:

Yes. Yes. People always ask me if it’s cathartic to write and I think that’s one word for it, but it is a reliving. It is a reliving, even though there’s a part of my brain that’s crafting and it’s making an object of my experiences on the page, but my soul is reliving it and it is extremely intense, and I have such a high regard for all memoirs for that exact reason because I know what it feels like and it is not for the faint of heart.

Lisa Niver:

It is not for the faint of heart, but you struck a chord with so many people. As I said, you’re a New York Times Best Selling Author, you’re in the club with Reese Witherspoon books, you were Amazon Best Books so, when the book came out, of course, you hoped you would reach people, but what happened when you were on the list of everybody?

Christie Tate:

It was such a huge surprise. I live in Chicago so, I’m not steeped in publishing. I read very widely, I’m a very enthusiastic reader, but I was new at being an author and I was a full-time lawyer when the book came out and so, I didn’t understand what was about to happen. I knew it was a huge deal that Reese Witherspoon was going to put her name on my book, and I was thrilled, just beyond, I’ve never felt anything quite like that, certainly not professionally.

I had no idea how many people would write to me with all kinds of feedback and sharing with me their therapy stories which I hold so closely to my heart, and some people were like, your therapist is a terrible person, and I accept that. I accept that people have very strong feelings about mental health treatment. Mostly what I wanted my book to do was shine a light for anybody who had money problems or individual wasn’t working for them.

But also let’s have more discussion. Let’s talk about this. Let’s talk about what works and what might work for one person and not another because every single conversation peels back a little bit of stigma. So, in terms of what happened.  I still get letters from readers and people are still discovering the book and it is the greatest joy, it is such a joy. My biggest dream for my book is I hoped one day I would be shopping in Costco and I would see it next to Obama’s book or something, and so, this has exploded all of my bucket list dreams.

I saw Christie’s book at SIMON and SCHUSTER in NYC, March 2023!

Lisa Niver:

I was just in the lobby of Simon and Schuster and I saw your new book right there in the display case! So, you decided to write another book.

Christie Tate:

Yeah, I did. Even before Group was published, even before I had a book deal, I knew I wanted to write about friendship because Group is really all about how I straightened out romantically. I had a lot of work to do along the dealing with early trapped trauma and eating stuff, but really I thought where’s my boyfriend, I want a husband, I want a family, I’m getting old — that’s the engine of Group.

But I really have also done a lot of work around female friendship and that had nothing to do with the boyfriend and the husband. I really wanted to tell those stories in part because I had been crippled all my life by the idea that friendship is if you’re a girl and the right kind of girl, friendship is easy, and you have lifelong friends and you have pods and you vacation with all your friends. I’m a little bit ill at ease in social relationships and I wanted to write about some of my own bad behavior, ghosting and being neurotic and insecure. I know I’m not the only person and I wanted to write in tribute to the notion of the work we do to get straight romantically can also be done in our friendships.

Lisa Niver:

Yes. So, you named your book B.F.F., Best Friends Forever, and I think one of the things you wrote that really spoke to me was about how one life can alter another, that friendships change us, but also that it felt like you were missing this secret code.

Christie Tate:

Yes. I remember being in kindergarten–very young, watching other girls, and maybe it was my community or just my particular vision, but I felt like other girls were best friends and their moms were friends and they did stuff on the weekends, and they were really embedded in each other’s lives, and it looks like they were held so closely in their friendships, and I had no idea how to do that.

I had no clue. My mom didn’t have friendships like that and neither did my dad, and I didn’t have the language at age 5, 6, 7 to express longing like that, and I didn’t have the skills. I did not know what it meant to be a good friend, and so, I had to make every mistake. I had to experiment with social climbing and then getting dumped and then dumping friends for a boy, and all of the things you’re not supposed to do. I had to do them. Part of the work that I’m interested in as much as getting married is how to build a community.

That’s something that I’m still interested in to this day. I haven’t cracked the code just because I wrote a book about it and I’m better than I used to be. I believe it’s my life’s work to keep working on this.

Lisa Niver:

One of the things that I see in Group and in the B.F.F. book is you talk about the triangles mother and sister or you have a friend and they have a friend and can we all be friends. The triangles, whether at work… the work wife or the work spouse. But I think all that plays into it and of course, now we’re all managing all this on social, too.

Christie Tate:

Oh, yes. it’s so painful. My children are in middle school and they have their own relationships, too, friendships and social media, and they’ll see things…like, it’s just like they’ll see things that will hurt their feelings, they’re not involved, and I will say to them, me, too. Everyone’s in a writing conference and I’m not there and I wasn’t invited, that’s how it feels, and it upends me and it takes me down, and I don’t have…I mean, I wish I had the wisdom for my kids.

What I strive to have is like, balance for myself, for my own soul, my own peace of mind, and when I first started telling people I was writing about female friendship, this woman I didn’t know at a reading for Group turned to me and she said, you better be writing about triangles. And I just laughed because I’m like, women know. If you say friendship triangle to a woman, they’re like, very unstable, very unstable. I’m like, exactly. Exactly.

And as you mentioned, I grew up with a mom and a sister. We also had a brother, but like, the females formed this triangle and I always viewed myself as on the outs, and that infected all my friendships because I was sure I was going to be pushed out, and I had to work through that as an adult in order to form healthy relationships.

Lisa Niver:

And I loved what you said about the inspiration. You said, “broken bones and irreparable rifts belonged in middle school but not motherhood” and you worked to repair several key relationships.

Christie Tate:

Yes. I was really interested in that and, I was embarrassed that I had gotten to be in my 40s and I was still so envious of other people’s success or their bodies or their hair. It felt so shameful. I was supposed to be a feminist and I had been in recovery and therapy all these years. I was a mother and I was so ashamed of my behavior, and what I had learned, thank goodness through all the work, was while keeping it to myself is never going to work. It’s just not going to work. Pretending it’s not there, also a failure. And so, what if I start writing about this, talking about this.

And what the great blessing I got is one of my friends that I knew from recovery tapped me on the shoulder and said, you know, I think we have a lot in common and I think it’s time for both of us to work on friendships. And I had just settled down with my about-to-be husband and I thought, oh, my God, can you let me catch my breath from being so sad about being single, and she said– no. Let’s go. And I agreed, so that is what is remarkable.

I also wanted to put this story out in the world because in Group there is an Ivy league-trained therapist and he’s crazy and he’s exotic and he takes up a lot of space, and with B.F.F. it was me and a friend. We were both bungling along and we decided to help each other. We don’t have degrees, we didn’t pay each other, we just decided, let’s stop telling ourselves we stink at friendship and let’s do something different and let’s do it together, and our lives changed.

Lisa Niver:

Yes. The power of committing to another person to try to be better.

Christie Tate:

Exactly. Exactly. It’s kind of that simple and that hard all at the same time.

Lisa Niver:

It is very hard and very simple, I agree with you. How can people can come find you? I know you’ve been on a book tour…

Christie Tate:

Yes.

Lisa Niver:

…but tell people, I know you’ve been having…you can’t be uninvited when you run the workshop so, tell people they can come work with you.

Christie Tate:

Yes. Yes. I’ve started doing some writing workshops and they’ve been just amazing, the most amazing people have come forth and they want to write their stories, and I really only write about relationships so, I thought, let’s do it together. Let’s get in a room together and tackle the hard ones, especially those people we think we’ll have to wait until they die before I can write about them, and let’s do this together.

So, I’ll be doing something in the Hudson Valley in fall of 2023, and then right after MLK Jr day in January of 2024 I’m going to have a second annual event in Palm Springs that’ll span Monday to Friday. We did that before and it was a really wonderful experience. So, I try to draw people who might want to get to the sunshine in January because I live in Chicago, that’s what I want. Check my website for the dates and signup. I would love to see any new faces.

Lisa Niver:

And tell people, your website name is…

Christie Tate:

My website is christietate.com.

Lisa Niver:

And can people find you on social media? Where do you hang out and share wisdom?

Christie Tate:

All the wisdom comes down on Instagram and my Instagram is christieotate I’m usually there posting all kinds of whatever’s going on, and would love to have any kind of reader engagement. It brings me great joy.

Lisa Niver:

And I know on your website people can find if their book club is reading Group, you have a whole book club guide?

Christie Tate:

Yes. The best way, if you want me to Zoom in or if you’re local to me, I’m happy to come by. It’s so fun to go to a book club. What I love about book clubs is people are not afraid to say, I have this in this issue. Like, I don’t mind that engagement, it’s so brave for readers to look me in the eye and go like, I really hated this. And I’m like, awesome. I want to hear more about it, like, you don’t have to like all my stuff.

Anyway, I find that really invigorating and brave. So, it reminds me of group therapy. And yeah, so, email me. There’s a form on my website, you can reach out to me and we can set something up.

Lisa Niver:

That’s so amazing. So, people can read your book and they can learn more about you, and the book is also an audio book?

Christie Tate:

Yes. Both books appear in the audio format. Right now B.F.F. is just in hardback, but you can also get it on Libra, I think that’s the Indie book store version of Audible, but of course, Audible as well and hardback, and then Group is available in all the formats, and several different languages if you are not an English speaker.

Lisa Niver:

Oh, wow. That’s so exciting.

Christie Tate:

Yeah. It’s pretty fun.

Lisa Niver:

And what happens once you’re in the Reese Witherspoon Book Club, do you guys have chats with the other authors or…

Christie Tate:

Yeah. You know, it’s a real bonding experience because Reese and her company, Hello Sunshine, and the Reese’s Book Club, they’re really good to their authors and they have give aways and like, online events, and there’s a really wonderful app that anybody can join, but you can find out, you know, what the new book picks are. We don’t get to find out early but a bunch of us have bonded who were like, around each other and there’s a sense of camaraderie, and there was talk in 2020 about like, one day doing a retreat with everyone and I’m just like, holding my breath waiting for that because how amazing would that be like, oh, my gosh. So, hopefully one day that will come to pass.

Lisa Niver:

Yes, and before we go, I’d love for you to just talk a little bit, I think that being in the COVID coaster that it’s been such a hard time for people feeling lonely and alienated, and obviously book club is a good way to get together, and I think some of the inspiration for your friendship forensics was COVID so, I don’t know if you could speak a little bit to about how you…I don’t know if it’s the right thing to say, turned the corner during COVID, or for reconnecting that you can share a couple tips for what could people do if they’re just feeling like everything’s so hard right now for them.

Cover reveal! Memoir coming October 2020. @AvidReaderPress pic.twitter.com/w1ZX1agVzE

— Christie Tate (@ChristieOTate) April 28, 2020

Christie Tate:

Yeah. I definitely agree with that. There’s two things I feel that are manageable starting points, right, because you can’t build a community in one dinner, and that’s so overwhelming. One thing is, I’ve started calling friends when they pop into my mind, even if I only have five minutes, I just call them up and I say, I’ve got seven minutes until I pick up my daughter or until the pasta boils and I wanted to say hi. What can you tell me in seven minutes, what can you tell me about your life? What do I need to know about what’s new and exciting in your life, and I’ve never had anybody say unless you have 45 minutes we are not talking.

I mean, everyone’s busy, everyone’s crunched so, there’s something about the little snatches of time that I used to just stand in the kitchen. Maybe I would be scrolling making myself miserable low key and stirring the pasta, and now I can have a connection — the idea that it has to be so long has crippled me, right?

And the other thing for me is I’m very scared to initiate socially. I have lots of reasons and I’m working on that, but one thing that’s been very helpful is when I hear an invitation…because lots of invitations come my way that I used to just bat away or not hear in some psychological way, what if I just said yes? I just give myself the goal to say yes. If someone says, we should do lunch, I pull out my calendar and say, what about this day? Now, I may not be the person who’s really good at saying, we should go to coffee, but what I can do is hear the bid for connection and then take it up and keep carrying it.

And once I realize how often people are offering to connect, I realize it was all right in front of me. It’s really right in front of me and I bet that’s true for lots of people, even as isolated as we are, we’re still on the COVID coaster. My community is still extremely…there’s places in my community where we’re still masking so, I get it. It is not easy, but when someone  would say, oh, I would like to go on a walk and be like, I would love to walk Saturday morning. Just follow it up, and if you’re walking anyway, why not, right?

So, those two things. Start somewhere and five-minute phone calls. That has been really, really enriched my social connections.

Lisa Niver:

Now I’m wondering if the next book is called Five-Minute Phone Calls.

Christie Tate:

Oh, I like the way you think.

Lisa Niver:

I am so appreciative that you spent this time with us and I know that your books have meant so much to me and so much to other people so, thank you for walking through all the shame and pain and tears to share your incredible story and really help people. Thank you.

Christie Tate:

Thank you, Lisa. This has been a total joy.

Learn how to be your own B.F.F. -A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found from Christie Tate! I also loved her first book, GROUP, you can read about it here. MAKE YOUR OWN MAP: Lisa Niver’s Podcast

The post Christie Tate on how to be your own B.F.F! appeared first on We Said Go Travel.

Meet me in DALLAS at the Travel and Adventure Show 2023

l will be speaking THREE TIMES in DALLAS at the Travel and Adventure Show 2023! Meet me Sunday, April 2, 2023 in the Savvy Traveler Theater at 3:00pm for my talk: “Becoming Brave– Steps to Make Your Dream Vacation Happen” Meet me at the Dive & Water Sports Pavilion SAT APRIL 1 and SUN APRIL 2, 2023 to talk about how “SCUBA Changed My LIFE: Diving Adventures AROUND the WORLD” on behalf of PADI (Professional Association of Dive Instructors)

“SCUBA Changed My LIFE: Diving Adventures AROUND the World”

SAT APRIL 1 — 11:30am and

SUN APRIL 2 — 12:45pm

Show Location:

Dallas Market Hall
2200 Stemmons Freeway
Dallas, TX 75207
214-879-8330

2023 Show Dates/Hours:

Public Show Hours:
Saturday, April 1: 10am – 5pm
Sunday, April 2: 11am – 4pm

Directions/Parking:

Parking is FREE at Market Hall.

Discount Ticket Code: GOTRAVEL23

I will be doing a GIVEAWAY at all THREE of my talks–be present for a chance to win Dallas CityPASS tickets and a PADI e-learning course! I will be speaking LIVE at FOUR of America’s Favorite Travel Shows! Come see me at  The Travel & Adventure Show 2023

“Discover endless vacation options from the top travel providers and destinations from around the globe. Meet one-on-one with thousands of travel experts who are on hand to help you find, personalize, and book your next trip. Uncover thousands of dollars in savings with exclusive travel deals and show-only specials. Receive expert advice and learn how to travel like an insider from dozens of educational seminars. Plus, meet Samantha Brown, Andrew McCarthy, Peter Greenberg, Pauline Frommer, Patricia Schultz, LISA NIVER and more!” 

I learned to dive in 1990 and fell madly in love with exploring the underwater world.See my articles and videos all about scuba: CLICK HERE PADI Dive-in LIV+ Beaches Turks and Caicos 2020I will be speaking LIVE at America’s Favorite Travel Shows! Come see me at  The Travel & Adventure Show 2023CHICAGO –Jan 14-15 at the Donald E. Stephens Convention CenterNEW YORK CITY – January 28-29 at the Javits Convention CenterLOS ANGELES— February 18-19 at the Los Angeles Convention CenterDALLAS–April 1-2 at the Dallas Market Hall 

“Discover endless vacation options from the top travel providers and destinations from around the globe. Meet one-on-one with thousands of travel experts who are on hand to help you find, personalize, and book your next trip. Uncover thousands of dollars in savings with exclusive travel deals and show-only specials. Receive expert advice and learn how to travel like an insider from dozens of educational seminars. Plus, meet Samantha Brown, Andrew McCarthy, Peter Greenberg, Pauline Frommer, Patricia Schultz, LISA NIVER and more!” Buy tickets at a special rate with my discount code GOTRAVEL23 or use these links for these cities: CHICAGO –NEW YORK CITY —LOS ANGELES–DALLAS

Buy tickets at a special rate with my discount code GOTRAVEL23 or use these links for these cities: CHICAGO –NEW YORK CITY —LOS ANGELES—DALLAS Watch my Spotify Video Podcast: Click here for Season 1 with guests: Deepak Chopra, Alka Joshi and Patricia Schultz. Lisa Niver and BJ Korrus at the National Arts and Entertainment Journalism AwardsLearn more about my articles, videos and awards: LisaNiver.com My YouTube channel has nearly two million views. Sign up for my newsletter so you will be the first to know about when you can pre-order my memoir from Post Hill Press & Simon and Schuster!

The post Meet me in DALLAS at the Travel and Adventure Show 2023 appeared first on We Said Go Travel.