Hilary Fields's Blog, page 7

Why Sweets and Sex Toys?

One of the themes of BLISS is self-acceptance. In my experience, so much of our passion as women is stifled by what we “should” want, what’s appropriate, what won’t get us ridiculed. Eating cupcakes is something we should apologize for. Having a healthy sexual appetite is encouraged—but not too much.

I can remember one time when, as a teenager, a boy I had a crush on gave me a Sweet Sixteen present. I was so excited to tear into it at my party—even more so because he and his friends had wrapped it in about thirty feet of aluminum foil! Everyone was staring, whispering. What could it be? I wondered. A bouquet of—probably now smushed—flowers? A bottle of perfume? Candy? I unwrapped and unwrapped, reams of tinfoil crinkling to my feet as my friends looked on.

Nope.  Not candy. Not perfume. Not an “I HEART Hilary” necklace.

Dildo.

My cheeks flamed as the boys laughed. It was huge, studded with “pleasure nubs” that looked like some kind of hideous venereal disease. And it was the first sex toy I’d ever seen up close and personal.

I threw it across the room in disgust, shrieking, “Ew, you guys! Not funny!” even though I was secretly intrigued. It would have been seen as evidence that I was not a “nice girl” if I’d done as my character Serafina does in one scene—rock out with her cock out!

That damn dildo followed me all the way to college. The boy I’d liked ended up attending the same school I did, and he never stopped trying to make me blush. One day, I even opened my campus mailbox, and found the dong lying atop my mail! The thought of the inter-campus mail kids—kids in my class—“inserting it into my box” had the desired effect. I blushed so deep a crimson I had to go put a wet washcloth on my cheeks.

There was much merriment to be had, but of course it was always embarrassed, scandalized laughter. And even after college, when I was in my wild, experimental phase, dancing atop bars in tight corsets and short skirts for attention, I still couldn’t look at a sex toy without checking around furtively to see if anyone noticed my interest. A sex shop was something to enter, giggling, with one’s friends, snickering at edible undies and giving the vibrating plugs a serious case of side-eye. I would never have dreamed of being open about my interest in pleasure enhancements, as my character Pauline so blithely is.

Now, in my later thirties, I get tired of being told what to enjoy, and what’s embarrassing or even slutty. That’s why I created Pauline Wilde, who couldn’t give a flying f*#k about what other people think. And I created her niece, Serafina, to give voice to my own hang-ups, my hesitation and fears. For my own sake, I wanted to let my heroine explore the things that have held her back, and watch her flower into a woman like her aunt; someone who owns her sexuality and her place in this world, who goes for what she wants and doesn’t apologize for it.

So much for the sex toys. Why the sweets in BLISS?

Simple. I really, really love to bake. And eat. Which is another thing women often have to hide, choking down abstemious salads and murmuring “oh, I’m watching my figure” while we turn away the dessert cart when we’re eating out at a restaurant.

Dude. I like cupcakes. I like cookies. I like cheesecake, chocolate, and just about everything else sweet. Probably too much. But there it is. And I have a sneaking suspicion I’m not alone here.

Food and sexual fulfillment are two of the greatest passions there are, and the ones we as women are often expected to deny ourselves, simply to seem proper in this world. I’m not immune to this expectation. I’ve been on more diets than I care to admit, and I wouldn’t exactly call myself comfortable with my body. That’s why I created characters in BLISS who could explore the issues—and have the fun!—for me.

Serafina gets to be everything I aspire to: talented, surrounded by friends, loved by a wonderful man. She revels in sweets and sex—my two favorite things.

If you’ve ever found yourself too timid or embarrassed to go for what you want, take a page from Serafina’s aunt and let your freak flag fly. Maybe you’ll find your BLISS too!

Tagged: dessert, dildo, feminism, self-acceptance, sex toys, sweets, writing

The Greatest Gift You Get As A Writer… Other Writers!

Today was an all-over-the-place kind of day. I couldn’t get my shit together with the proverbial pooper-scooper, so I was flying around doing errands on a windy afternoon, trying to TCB before meeting up with my pal Chad to workshop our awesome novels-in-progress. Anyhow, finally I got to sit down with him at our local java joint, and we started parsing the verbiage.

Now, I don’t know about him, but for me, the session was electrifying. I’d been gnashing my teeth and pulling my hair over the direction of BOOK 2, which is very dear to my heart. I am determined to “get it right,” whatever that ends up meaning, but struggling to figure out how best to accomplish my goals. During the course of a couple hours, we got to hash out the central themes, what would make them stronger, what’s working and what ain’t. It was a bit scary, frankly, to find out that my suspicions were correct–this is still very much a work in progress, not perfect straight outta the gate. But it was also pretty remarkable to see how, talking it through aloud, I could come up with some character adjustments and some additions to scenes that would make everything work so much better.

It’s my favorite feeling in the world–when you go, “Ooh, ooh, I got it! How about if X does this instead of that…” and suddenly your story makes more sense. Yes, I’ll have tons of revisions to do because we took such a hard look at the story, but it’s worth it in service to the finished product–and now I’m thinking the finished product is actually not going to suck.

A little while later, a gaggle of NaNoWriMo’s descended (all of whom won, getting 50,000 words while I… well, I did not) and we started working on our novels. The gathering was crackling with cheerful banter, and a great energy settled around our communal table. It reminded me of just how fun it is to do something creative! It’s like being in kindergarten and being handed a huge lump of Play-Doh and told, “Have at it, kids!” I was so happy to be hanging out with people who have the same passion for wordplay I do, who can commiserate over crappy characters and laugh at our shitty first drafts. When you work alone so much of the time, it’s nice to be reminded you have “peeps.”

And then I arrived home and got a lovely, supportive email from a dear friend and pen pal, a wonderful writer who’s enmeshed in “the process,” with all the mushy, gloppy gut-wrenching it entails (entrails?).  It was another reminder I’m not alone, and a validation that writing is a passion, an avocation, and a fucking hard bit of work. And we’re all awesome for undertaking this crazy career.

Tagged: creativity, nanowrimo, novel, process, workshopping, writing

The Faces of BLISS!

Sorry I’ve been quiet for a few days… Thanksgiving was quite a distraction, between cooking and snooping around various bookstores to see how & where they’d displayed my baby BLISS. Happy to say I saw it on the New Arrivals table at a few Barnes & Noble stores (between Dolly Parton and a guide to dogs, whee?). Anyhow, thought I’d share some BLISS-ful faces. Feel free to submit a picture of yourself with a copy and I’ll post it!

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Tagged: Barnes & Noble, bliss, writing

Signings ‘n’ Stuff

So, here’s me at last night’s Discovery Friday signing at Barnes & Noble, rockin’ a new blue dress and reading to peeps. What a pleasure!

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Unfortunately, tonight’s signing/talk at Self-Serve Sexuality Resource Center had to be postponed due to a big-ass snowstorm.

Boo, no reading!

Yay, we’re gonna reschedule for sometime in December, and I will most certainly announce it in advance.

Boo, I’ve got about a dozen cupcakes and forty zillion lemon bars sitting around now, that I was planning to serve at the event.

Yay… forty zillion desserts laying around the house!

Boo, Weight Watchers.

Yay, screw it, it’s snowing and I’ll eat ten cupcakes by the fireplace if I wanna.

Stay toasty, my friends…

Tagged: barns and noble, book, book signing, cupcake, dessert, novel, reading

Book Two Needs a Name!

I think it’s safe to share a little about the second novel I’m writing. It’s about a woman named Merry; six-foot-three, red hair, former Olympic skier from a high-expectations family. After a horrendous crash ends her career, Merry is looking to find her place in the world, and ends up becoming a travel writer for an online magazine. The magazine abruptly announces her column isn’t spicy enough, so they decide to send her off on “Don’t Do What I Did” missions–anything crazy, dangerous, or just plain gross. Her first mission lands Merry in the tiny town of Aguas Milagros, New Mexico… on a llama ranch. Her job? Muck stables, feed critters, guide tourists up and down the local mountains–anything that needs doing, Merry’s the new Gal Friday. Her bosses are Dolly the llama lady, who raises alpacas as well as her llamas, and spins a mean yarn (literally), and Sam, Dolly’s rough-and-tumble nephew, who’s not too keen on interlopers at the ranch.

The story’s all about finding your true home, coming to grips with your limitations, and challenging yourself to overcome the ones you can. Spitty llamas, adorable alpacas, and even a poltergoat roam the ranch. Wool, crafts, skiing, and naked hippie hot springs play a part–as does an unexpected romance with Surly Sam.

Now I just need a title.  Some early contenders are: Wild and Wooly, Unraveled, Making Merry, The Last Chance Llama Ranch. Maybe y’all can do better…?

Tagged: alpaca, llama, novel, story, title, writing

Eat ALL the Yums! Recipes for Mousse, Lemon Bars, and Sugar Coma

Yippie! I can finally share the awesome cool super-beautiful recipe cards Redhook/Orbit made to support my book. But since they appear on the fantastic RT Book Club blog, for today I’ll just link you to it here. There’s “In the Mood Mousse” and “Serafina’s Lovelorn Lemon bars” — the latter of which I am baking for Saturday night’s event at Self-Serve Sexuality Resource Center.

Tis the season to indulge your passions… and your sweet tooth. So try these yummy recipes and moan as loud as Aunt Pauline!

THANK YOU!

Dear friends, family, and countrymen (okay, colleagues at ye olde day job), I just want to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who bought BLISS, everyone who let me know “Amazon says it’s in the mail!” and expressed excitement on my behalf. For those who read it early and enjoyed it enough to post a review or tweet kind words, thank you, you’re amazing, and your cookies are baking in the oven.

Speaking of which, the whole latter part of this week is going to be me completely blowing my Weight Watchers points and baking up a storm… (in the middle of a winter storm, which rather sucks). The reason for this is that I’ll be reading and signing copies of the book at Barnes & Noble at the Coronado Mall in Albuquerque on Friday, and chatting with readers at Self Serve Toys in Albuquerque on Saturday night.  The details are on my Events Page. Of course, I don’t want anyone to go away hungry, so I’m making everything from cupcakes to biscochitos to lemon bars to bring along. Let’s all get fat and BLISS out together!

Again, my friends, thank you for the support, the great feedback, and for being in my life. Feel free to send pics of yourself holding up your copy of BLISS, and I’ll post ‘em!

Tagged: amazon, bliss, book, gratitude, novel, publication, thanks, writing

One Day To Go…

I can’t believe BLISS comes out tomorrow. I mean, I can, I just… somehow feel like I don’t want to jinx anything by getting too excited. All I can do is keep my expectations reasonable. Cross my fingers. Try not to get hit by any falling pianos on my way into town.

So how am I celebrating pre-pub day? By scrubbing toilets. And cleaning the kitchen. Vacuuming. Changing kitty litter. Takin’ out the trash.

It’s not as yucky as it sounds, though. Cleaning makes room for freshness, new things. It’s a delight when it is done and your house is once again welcoming, pleasant, respectable. And I’ve got such nerves I need something physical to do to burn off the anxiety. I can’t control the response to BLISS, but I can at least scrub the crud outta the tub. So that’s what I’m doin’.

Cheers, friends.

Tagged: housework, novel, publication

Final Countdown

It’s four days until the official drop date for BLISS. “Doesn’t seem real” barely covers the surreal sensation this knowledge engenders in me. Partly it’s because there’s no red-carpet premiere, no box office numbers to tally when a book comes out. Most authors I know just spend the day obsessively checking their sales rank on Amazon.com, and surely I won’t be able to resist either.  I’ll bombard the Twitterverse with tweets, and annoy the crap out of my Facebook followers reminding them of the big event.  (Apologies in advance!) But otherwise, what marks such a momentous day for a writer? I suspect… not much. I’ll probably wear my cute new shoes, despite Santa Fe being a ridiculous place to wear high heels.  And some dear friends will join me for a celebratory meal.  Aside from that? I can only imagine what’s going on out there, beyond my control.

Are little elves stocking my novel on Barnes & Noble shelves?  Will some avid lover of women’s fiction be browsing a store in South Dakota and come stumbling across a new book with a pretty white cover?  Will she creep closer, daring to pick up the nice, weighty paperback, feel the pleasant tactile sensation of the jacket against her fingers?  Will she turn it over, and snort a small chuckle as she reads the tagline “Nothing says ‘oops’ like your naked ass skidding in the salmon mousse?”  Or perhaps wrinkle her nose and say, “No mousse-y ass for me, thanks!”  Might some store clerk in an indie bookstore happen to flip through it during breaks in the back room (ha, back room!) and decide, “Hey, I dig this, I’m going to put it on the ‘recommended reads’ table?”

I’ve no earthly idea.  And no control at this point. I crafted BLISS as if it were the most important confection of my career, adding all my favorite fantasies and wish fulfillment into the mix. I can only hope it tastes as sweet to the reader as it did to the writer.

Tagged: bliss, book, novel, publishing, women's fiction, writing

You Like Me… You Really Like Me! (At Least 4 of You)

So, I’m driving a shopping cart full of cat litter and trash bags around Target this afternoon (oh, the joy!) and I stop to check my phone.  (Hey, shopping is boring, what can I say.  At least I didn’t block anyone’s path to the yogurt.)  I see an email from my delightful, I’m-eternally-grateful-to-them publisher with some feedback from readers who participated in last month’s Goodreads first-read giveaway.  (Check it out here to read reviews.)  Not to toot my own horn (okay, totally to toot my own horn), but WOW!  The ones who took the time to write reviews really seemed to enjoy BLISS the way I’d hoped.  One woman said, “This was, for me, a one-sitting, pages flying read.”

Sniffle.

Those of you who are writers know just how important it is that somebody see the same thing in your work that you see in your mind, and that you spend all those hours trying to shovel in there.  It’s why I spend weeks dithering over exactly the right word; why I corner friends and fellow writing workshoppers and demand, “Is this funny?!  Does that make sense?”  But in the end the novel is just out there, alone, without you to explain or excuse or butter up your reader.  If you’re lucky enough to find readers, that is.

BLISS isn’t officially out until November 19th, but already, people outside of my immediate circle have gotten their hands on it.  Woman’s Day online said they loved it.  Library Journal gave it the thumbs’ up.  And now, real readers!  People who read the kind of books I read are finally being introduced to my work – and so far I haven’t been beaned in the head with a rotten tomato.  I know the responses can’t all be good, but for now, I’m just swimming in delight and so very grateful.

Oh, and one-sitting lady? Slow down. It took me a long time to write that book!

Tagged: bliss, fiction, gratitude, novel, reading, reviews, women's fiction, writing