C.L. Swinney's Blog, page 5
August 15, 2014
Paradigm
Perched above the light radiating anger he stalks, clenching fists and grinding his jaw muscles fiercely. A man in blue wearing a star, oblivious to the ticking time bomb, coasts to a stop preoccupied by time slipping by.
The tormented man hears a voice, “Yes, do it!”
Another of his voices says, “You can’t, you mustn’t!”
Zombie-like, he slowly grabs the luke-warm handle of his safety blanket, and cooler than the other side of a pillow, marches on to entertain the war that rages.
The traffic light remains red longer than normal, causing the unsuspecting man to curse and examine his surroundings. He peers left, and then right, noting nothing spectacular.
Again the voices scream, “Do it!”
“No!”
“Do it you coward!”
“No!”
The volley of pain finally consumes him. He lifts borrowed steel, aims, and fires. The crackle erupts, scattering feet drowned only by screams. The waiting cop never had a clue. At the foot of his cruiser, weathered life escapes the victim, while a mixture of gunpowder and smoke become one. Slowly they ascend to salvation seeking refuge for his soul.
August 2, 2014
Dying Set Me Free
Dying Set Me Free.
I was nine when I died.
I trembled while lying in bed,
wide awake, suddenly the door opened.
He slithered in, fueling his needs,
and did the unthinkable by taking
his son’s life. Once I felt
his touch, my soul fled from
my body. I tried, but could
not stop it. I watched as the
carcass of my body gasped for
oxygen as the demon left my
sanctuary. My mother, she knew nothing.
I dared not mention such things.
Awake, or asleep, it always persisted.
When it ended, unknown, but I
was reborn, more evil, more angry.
I’m thirty-nine now. My soul
sleeps with the fishes, while the
mental war rages, even a generation
could not save. I lie in
bed, awake and trembling, searching for
the nine year old helpless me.
C.L.Swinney
July 31, 2014
July 15, 2014
Be You.
Just wanted to throw this out there…
I’m flawed. There, I said it.
Also, I learned the hard way that pretending to be someone else only exacerbates such flaws.
Be who you are, accept it, and either work around it or work to better yourself. They say the greatest accomplishment in life is to inspire. I’ve done that for many folks with my writing. I honestly feel better about myself when hearing their stories…but, I know I have much more to accomplish with the time I have left on Earth. I no longer get pissed off if people don’t reciprocate what I do…and I often wonder, is that the problem? The fact I’m expecting people to return the favor? It would be easy to say people are all about themselves, and I wouldn’t have many people who would challenge me on this; however, I shouldn’t be frustrated by the lack of support from them. In fact, I should work harder at what I love to do. Write. I also love to show people how to achieve their goals. All that matters is that I feel good about myself, I have a great family, and I keep doing the best I can everyday. The rest doesn’t really matter. Be happy, people, I’m being worn down by your negativity. But, I WILL NOT BE KNOCKED OUT :-)
C.L.Swinney
July 7, 2014
July 3, 2014
Compassionate Cops??
Just a terrific example of when law enforcement gets it right. I know not everything is perfect in my profession, but I enjoy talking about these stories.
NJ cops help teen with muscular dystrophy fulfill cop dreams
The move came as a surprise for the teen, who was told only to expect a welcome home party
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By PoliceOne Staff
WANAQUE, N.J. — A 19-year-old battling with muscular dystrophy achieved his dream of becoming a police officer Wednesday with the help of the Wanaque Police Department.
NJ.com reports Aaron Risher was sworn in after a month-long stay at a New York City children’s hospital.
The move came as a surprise for Risher, who was told only to expect a welcome home party.
Wanaque Police Captain Kenneth Fackina was told about Risher by his medical staff, and he’s made regular visits to the teen for months prior to Wednesday’s event, ABC 7 .
Wanaque police provided him with a badge, uniform, business cards, and a name plate, according to the report
June 16, 2014
Day I Die.
Day I Die
The bullet grazed my temple searing the fine hair while leaving a thin blood trail trickling down my cheek. Instinctively I dove for cover behind a vehicle and reached for my handgun. What the hell just happened? I scanned the alley for the shooter and checked the wound. The ambient light from the street corner pole revealed fresh blood, my blood, and I decided at that very moment today was not the day I die. There was no image of my wife or kids flashing in my mind. I didn’t say a prayer or give up. Nope, all I saw was a poorly lit alley and all I wanted to do was kill the son of a bitch who’d just ambushed me. My heartbeat pounded in my chest and I exhaled after realizing I’d been holding my breath.
“Come on out ‘piggy!’” yelled the suspect. He fired off more rounds wildly in my direction. It was a catastrophic mistake for him. Now, based on his voice and the muzzle flash, I knew almost precisely where he was hiding. The only problem was I didn’t have a clear shot. I reached for my radio microphone to request cover units. My dive had crushed it, but the emergency button was lit indicating it still had power. I pressed it with my non-gun hand. My exact location was relayed to dispatch. Gotta love GPS, I thought.
“Listen buddy, the troops are coming! Give up and save yourself,” I answered back figuring there was no chance in hell this deranged lunatic would likely follow my lawful order. And, I felt secure in my hiding spot since I wasn’t getting hit by his sporadic gunfire.
“Fuck em’ all! I’ll get as many of you pricks as I can before I let you end it all for me!” Again he fired off more rounds at me. I cringed and fired back when my brain registered his statement. It’s a damn suicide by cop, and I have no way to warn my backup. I was instantly deflated because a lost soul was going to die.
“You don’t need to do this, put down the gun and we’ll work this out.” I felt a strong sense of trying to help him even though he was trying to kill me. Sounds weird, but it’s what we do. Plus, he had me pinned down and desperation forced me to try to negotiate. I was also trying to buy some time, albeit it I chose to try to rationalize with a man I knew clearly was not thinking straight. He responded with a flurry of bullets. Guess he’s not looking for help, he’s looking for death.
I peered under the vehicle I was hiding behind and could see he was basically trapped at the end of the alley. Solid structures surrounded him, except he could get free if he came right by me, and that wasn’t happening. This was going down in the industrial area of town, which meant my cover cars, even full lights and sirens would be a bit before they made it. As I contemplated my next move I felt a sharp burning pain in my shoulder as one of his careless rounds hit me. I yelled out in pain and rolled over on my back. Are you kidding me, a damn ricochet! The pain was unbearable, like a thousand needles gouging at an open wound, but I had to continue. I inched closer behind a wheel and squeezed the trigger slowly and methodically while aiming at the area his muzzle flashes were coming from. The sound was deafening while dust and debris flew into my eyes. Where the hell is my backup?
I combat reloaded my firearm with my last magazine and tried to listen. My ears ringed making it difficult to hear. The wound in my shoulder throbbed and I could see it was bleeding badly. I strained to hear something as I considered, only briefly, that I might not survive this ordeal. I counted rounds that I’d shot in my head and realized I was almost out. I glanced at my patrol vehicle. It was out in the open. If I made a move for it, the suspect would have a clear shot at me.
In a sadistic voice the suspect said, “Is that all you got? Boy, I served in the U. S. A. Marines!” He fired a couple of rounds, “you ain’t shit!” I rolled my eyes and was pissed because obviously I hadn’t hit him with my bullets and it seemed like all I was doing was making him more mad. Compounding the issue was he’d just said he was a marine. I’d read how these guys suffer from PTSD and no one in the government wants to acknowledge or talk about it. These guys feel helpless, many times they are, and now one of them wants me and all my friends dead. A sick mind is caustic.
“Of all the luck,” I huffed under my breath. I gotta do something, I thought.
I pleaded, “Man, you don’t need to do this! We’ll get you help, just throw down the gun and come out with your hands up.” I felt awkward trying to reason with him, but I didn’t see another option. My training and overwhelming need to help people kicked in. I struggled with what I should do next. Then I wondered how I was going to pull it off. And then I heard it. Police sirens. About damn time, I thought as my eyes lit up.
“You don’t know shit! Sounds like my welcoming party is almost here! I’ll see you assholes in hell!” He fired a whole magazine toward me. Bullets slammed into the car that I was using as cover and the bricks to my right causing them to explode. I tried to return fire but felt helpless. Then the shooting stopped. I assumed he was reloading. In the eerie silence, two police cruisers skidded to a halt behind me and positioned their cars to block the alley.
“Suicide by cop! My radio’s busted, I need medics!” I yelled at the two guys jumping out from their patrol cars. It’s a situation in which shooting and killing someone is justified, but I thought if it were me, I would want to know the situation as well. “One shooter, far end on the left, heavily armed,” I wanted to say more, but the suspect began shooting at the two officers, pelting their cars with rounds. They had to return fire in an effort to stop the threat and find better cover. I looked at my arm and could see the bleeding had clotted and it had gone numb.
With the shooter concentrated on them, I finally had an opening. I tried to push myself up to get to my patrol car, but my wounded arm buckled. With my gun still aimed down the alley, I managed to sort of roll over and get up. I wrangled my keys from my duty pants and was able to get the car trunk open. I could see my less than lethal shotgun, but bypassed it for an assault rifle. We were taking rounds and I was injured. I grabbed and slung the shotgun, maybe, just maybe, I thought, this guy can be saved.
More police cars flooded the area. The suspect continued firing from behind a dumpster. He was shooting at me and the other two officers in what seemed like a never-ending supply of bullets. The SWAT team was summoned, but the fact the guy was shooting randomly, at cops, I figured he wouldn’t last another couple of minutes. We stopped to reload and I froze because I could see the man walking out from behind the dumpster. He’d stopped shooting and I noticed he was wearing a ballistic vest. Then I saw the handgun in his right hand. He ripped off the ballistic vest revealing military fatigues. We made eye contact. I thought I’d see fear and sadness, or maybe confusion in his eyes. I was wrong. All I could see was utter rage. He winked at me and raised his gun. I could see an officer to my left who was having trouble with his gun and the suspect had him dead to rights. In a split second the suspect was going to kill him. Then suddenly, without thought just a reaction, boom! It was all over in an instant. I shot him and shook my head. I collapsed and lay on the street looking straight up at the stars. Slowly the sirens and barking dogs and spinning helicopter blades faded away. Then it was over.
The End
C.L.Swinney :-)
May 31, 2014
Compassionate Cops? 5-31-14
A Jacksonville police officer gave a local boy the birthday that had been stolen from him, all because of an auto burglary.
According to the police report, someone broke into the boy’s mother’s van on Gilmore Street between 5 p.m. March 27 and 2 p.m. the next day and stole children’s clothing valued at about $2,000. That included his birthday present.
The mother had purchased the clothing with her tax refund, the report states. She told Officer Derek Pratico, who handled the auto burglary, that she did not have any money to replace the gift and didn’t know how she was going to give her son a birthday.
Pratico wrote up the police report and finished his tour of duty, then went to a store the next day and bought a new birthday present, cake and birthday card for the boy. He got a $100 gift card for the child’s mother to help her. Then he gave them their presents.
“I did not do this for any recognition,” Pratico said in a Sheriff’s Office Facebook post. “I just felt it was the right thing to do at that moment.”
Police did search the neighborhood for suspects in the auto burglary and did check the minivan for fingerprints, the report states.
May 29, 2014
Compassionate Cops? 5-29-14
HOWARD COUNTY, Md. — A Howard County police officer saved a drowning 9-year-old girl whose foot was trapped under a rock in the Little Patuxent River near the Savage Mill Trail last weekend, police said Wednesday.
Police said Sgt. Michael Johnson, a 16-year veteran, was walking foot patrol with a park ranger at 4:15 p.m. May 25 when they heard screaming near the river. Police said Johnson ran toward the screams and saw the girl in shoulder-deep water being pushed by the current.
Sgt. Michael Johnson. (Howard County Police Department Image)
He called dispatch and asked for the Howard County Fire and Rescue Services department’s SWIFT water rescue team, police said. While awaiting their arrival, Johnson saw the girl, who said her foot was stuck under a rock, struggling to stay above water, police said.
Sgt. Johnson then jumped in the river to try to save the girl, police said. As he was swimming toward her, the current picked him up, but he was able to grab onto a crate jammed between two rocks, police said.
Police said he was able to move himself in front of the crate and, with one hand on the crate, was able to lunge toward the girl and free her trapped foot.
Police said he then pulled her to the edge of the water where a bystander helped her onto land.
“This is an example of the ways in which our officers put their lives on the line every day,” Police Chief Bill McMahon said. “We are very proud of Sgt. Johnson for all that he did to ensure this situation had a good outcome.”
McClatchy-Tribune News Service
Copyright 2014 the Howard County Times
THANKS FOR YOUR EFFORTS FELLOW BROTHER IN BLUE
-C
May 27, 2014
Falling Out of the Sky: Photography of William Kelly
AMAZING!
Originally posted on
I’ve written the short essay below for the photographer William Kelly’s section of the forthcoming Ingrained exhibition. It begins tomorrow and runs until the 28th of May in Moxie studios, Dublin. I recommend you go along if you’re in town and for those who can’t, check out Kelly’s work here (that’s one of his photographs below, from the aftermath of Typhoon Yolanda). It gave me an opportunity to write about W.H. Auden and one of my favourite painters Pieter Bruegel the Elder but more importantly to write about an exceptional rising talent here and now.
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