Tracy Weber's Blog, page 27

What Color is Your Monster?

Whole Life Yoga’s advanced yoga teacher training started this past weekend with a three-day retreat, the primary goal of which was build a single, cohesive community out of thirty students from ten prior trainings—some that took place almost a decade ago.

I planned several small group activities, but I consciously decided to leave out the introductory large group circle, in which every person shares information about themselves, their goals, and their challenges to the rest of the group.

Three weeks ago, I had a sudden feeling that omitting the circle was a bad idea.  I sent an e-mail out to the students to get their opinion, and they agreed: the activity had to be on the agenda. One person teased that if we did the circle activity, I might give her another crystal.

Now I had a problem.

My circles come with presents, and these students knew it. In the 200-hour training, each person who introduces themselves receives a clear quartz crystal to place on the mat in front of her. The crystal tells us who has already spoken. Even more, it symbolizes my hope for each class member: the clarity of mind promised by persevering yoga practice.

What did I want for this group, and how would I symbolize it?

I already knew these wonderful people from their 200-hour trainings. Some have studying with me for well over a decade; others less than a year.  We were about to start another sixteen month journey, much of which wouldn’t be easy. Many of them were already struggling through very tough times. Clarity. Of course I wished them clarity.  But I wished them more than that.

I wished them strength.

Strength to overcome internal and external struggles. Strength to face the inevitable challenges that life would throw their way. Strength to overcome their own internal gremlins.

I told my husband to grab his car keys. Destination: Archie McPhees.

I searched through shelves filled with squishy balls, wind up dentures, rubber chickens, and bacon flavored dental floss. I finally found what I needed in a display rack next to rubber horse heads and assorted Halloween costumes.  Monster finger puppets.  The perfect symbol for the silly, yet powerful, inner demons we all have. The doubts we allow to hold us back.

Sometimes our demons are critical voices inside our head. Sometimes they take the form of exhaustion. Sometimes they feel a whole lot like fear. But in all cases, we give them their power.  Yoga promises that if we take the time, do the work, and have the courage to look at them clearly, they will have no more power over us than these silly rubber toys.

My challenge to all of you, teachers-in-training or not, is to look for the inner demon that holds you back. Confront it. Laugh at it. Refuse to let it stop you. Be all that you want to be and more.

Yoga can help.

Namaste

Tracy Weber

Come visit Whole Life Yoga in Seattle, and check out my author page for information about the Downward Dog Mysteries series.  MURDER STRIKES A POSE is available for preorder now from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Whole Life Yoga, and other retailers!

It Took. Words.

This week’s blog entry was written by guest author Jenny Zenner. Jenny is a graduate of Whole Life Yoga’s teacher training program and a promising writer. She  can be contacted at jzenner@gmail.com.

It took language to undo the language lashed at me, to make me raw, exposed, weep, alive, aware. Tracy’s words were not tender. No. Tracy Weber is perfectly matter-of-fact. Hearing her voice of honesty broke open my heart and awareness to recognize the earlier words said to me that I believed true. That I was not wanted. That I was an ungrateful, selfish slob. A burden. Three and a half months into Tracy’s yoga teacher training program, I awoke in a new year with the obvious realization of my truth, my completely un-unique experience that I’d accepted as true and denied as existing.

Hearing girlfriends share their own experience, several years of yoga on the mat, several more years of meditation on the cushion, and finally, through Tracy’s open disclosure of words said to her, it added up. By writing the sutra paper assignments, I finally revealed the experiences I had let grip me. Words hysterically sobbed at me stuck. Finally, unstuck, I put pen to paper, finger to keyboard, and began to release the load, letting new language lead me.

It took sitting to find some stillness. It took vinyasa to begin the loosening. It took breath to recognize the shallowness. I was taken. At my tipping point primed by the practice, I arrived to Tracy ripe. Through the language of the sutras, the language of Tracy’s experience, the language of the instruction, I found my own story.

I don’t have to repeat what all words were uttered or by whom. The only finger pointing required is to give credit to those who spoke and wrote the words that healed.

My practice began as an undergrad. As a philosophy minor, I studied eastern religion and finagled an independent study of Living Buddha, Living Christ byThich Naht Hanh (aka “Thay”). Thay’s words paved the way from my Catholic upbringing to Buddhism. Off to grad school, I sought a meditation group led by Pam Perrugi Marraccini in Thay’s lineage. I read and heard speak Tara Brach, Robert Thurman, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and whoever happened to be on Oprah. A dear friend, Allison Parry Leach introduced me to Hilary Steinitz Jackson’s juicy vinyasa flow yoga classes, our girls night out breakup cure. All this prepped me to arrive at Whole Life Yoga to begin becoming whole.

It continued. It took finding love. Getting dropped on my head. Losing my asana practice. Fawn’s physical therapy. Burnstein’s traditional therapy. Bibliotherapy. Acupuncture. Massage.

Putting words to what is, I continue to write. Some stories take manual extraction. Moving through sun salutations, twisting, compressing, and holding poses, yoga unleashes. A jog jars stagnation. Ginger lovingly maneuvers me to necessary insights on her massage table. Touch. Recognition. Connection. The union of rejection and acceptance. Beyond forgiveness to compassion. The words at me. The words with me. The words forward.

Jenny Zenner, MEd, MBA, RYT © 2013

Come visit Whole Life Yoga in Seattle, and check out Tracy Weber’s author page for information about the Downward Dog Mysteries series.  MURDER STRIKES A POSE is available for preorder now from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Whole Life Yoga, and other retailers!

Letting Go of the Past

I wrote this post several months ago, but as with many posts of a personal nature, I waited to share it. Tasha’s MRI ruled out most scary diseases and identified some that were treatable.  The photo in this article was taken 90 minutes after she had surgery to replace her hip, which was hopefully her biggest problem. But the primary learning for me is that, as the sutras say so beautifully, I can hold on to my past and let it dictate my future,  or I can let it go and live in this amazing present moment.  It’ s my choice.  It’s yours as well.

I was nineteen the first time a serious-looking doctor told me I might have a brain tumor. The tiny, rare growth she thought had taken up residence inside my skull terrified me.  Tests showed that I probably didn’t have it—yet.  But I’d need to be reevaluated if any more symptoms appeared.

In my mid-twenties, a second doctor with an equally serious expression said I needed more definitive tests.  If I refused, I potentially faced a number of bad outcomes, including blindness.

And so on, and so on.

For the next several years I rotated through blood tests, contrast CT scans and multiple MRIs.  Every time I went to a doctor, the diagnostic circus (and the associated panic) would start again.

In my early thirties, I stopped going to doctors.

By the time I started having checkups again in my forties, my physicians were too focused on menopause to worry about my little non-existent growth.

About two months ago, my beloved dog started ailing, and we don’t yet know why.  As a physician friend of mine says, “Ask two doctors and you’ll get three diagnoses.”  Tasha has been to six.  An MRI can definitively diagnose several issues, but it’s expensive, so most vets don’t recommend it.  A few weeks ago, I finally brought it up myself. “Would an MRI be a good idea?” I asked.

The unanimous answer was yes.

As the time for the neurologist appointment approached, I started feeling anxious.  Tasha’s health has been improving the last several weeks. We’re finally developing plans for her future. I was the one who suggested an MRI.  Why, then did I suddenly start panicking?

I spent some time Saturday reflecting on The Yoga Sutras.  The sutras say that dvesa—holding onto prior pain—is one of the primary causes of suffering. In one swooping rush of insight, I realized that my panic was more about my past than Tasha’s future. I had equated Tasha’s upcoming neurologist visit to all of my terrifying evaluations in the past.

Duh.

Somehow, that simple realization calmed me down. My anxiety, while not completely eradicated, was significantly reduced.  Tasha and I met the smiling, friendly neurologist this morning.  He evaluated Tasha and said that he did, indeed, think an MRI was warranted.  But none of the issues he suspects are deadly, most of them can be fixed, and none of them are brain tumors. He suggested we do the test today, so I didn’t have to wait any more.  He’s even allowing me to be with my dog as she comes out of anesthesia.

Tasha’s in the MRI now, and I don’t know what the images will show. But I do know that Tasha’s issues have nothing to do with my past. I can release that irrational fear now, thanks to yoga and the insights it continues to give me.

Namaste

Tracy Weber

Come visit Whole Life Yoga in Seattle, and check out my author page for information about the Downward Dog Mysteries series.  MURDER STRIKES A POSE is available for preorder now from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Whole Life Yoga, and other retailers!

 

Safe Place Meditation for Relaxation

One of my favorite meditations allows me to transport myself to a place I love. Sometimes I imagine sitting in front of a roaring fire. Sometimes I walk along the the ocean. Sometimes I feel the rough surface of a dock I used to frequent over 20 years ago. Our bodies respond similarly whether we actually visit our favorite locations or simply imagine ourselves there.

The next time you need a vacation, there’s no need to wait save up money or accumulate vacation hours. Try this simple visualization meditation instead. The more senses you involve, the more deeply you will immerse yourself in the experience.

Safe Place Visualization Meditation

Sit comfortably, with your spine erect and the crown of your head floating up to the ceiling. Sitting either in a chair or on the floor is fine, as long as you are physically comfortable and your spine is in “neutral.”
Allow your eyes to close and your focus to go internal.
Notice your breath—without intentionally trying to change it. Feel the warmth and coolness of the breath at the tip of your nostrils. Allow your mind to focus on and pay attention to this feeling of the breath. The breath will be your anchor.
Bring to mind a place in which you feel calm and at peace, whether real or imaginary. Any place will work as long as it feels serene and safe to you.

A cabin next to a crackling fire
Your grandmother’s kitchen
A beach, lake, or other body of water
Cuddling in your living room with your dog, cat, or favorite human.


Imagine yourself in your peaceful place using all of your senses.

What do you see? Be as specific as you can, down to the details of colors, textures and individual blades of grass.
What do you smell? Freshly mown grass? The brackish smell of the ocean? Vanilla candles? The delicious aroma of baked cookies?
What do you hear? The crackle of a fire? Purring of kittens? The breath-like sound of the ocean? Birds singing or chirping?
What sensations can you feel?  What textures can you feel under your fingertips? Is your skin warm or cool? Are your muscles tight or relaxed?
What do you taste? Is your tongue bitter, sweet, salty?
What do you feel internally? Are you hungry? Satisfied? Do you feel happy, relaxed, or peaceful?


If your attention wanders (and it will!) just notice it, and invite your attention back to the sensation of the breath at the tip of your nose. Then return to your peaceful place and begin again.
Continue this meditation for 10 minutes or longer if you’d like.

No matter where you are, you take this safe place with you. Visit it any time you need to feel safe.

Namaste

Tracy Weber

Come visit Whole Life Yoga in Seattle, and check out my author page for information about the Downward Dog Mysteries series.  MURDER STRIKES A POSE is available for preorder now from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Whole Life Yoga, and other retailers!

What I’ve learned in My First Year of Teaching

Amanda Moore is a health and wellness coach, blogger, and yoga teacher working with people who are ready to let go of self-limiting beliefs, bust through fears, and begin living their biggest, most wild dreams. Through carefully crafted one-on-one or group coaching sessions, she empowers her clients to reach big, dig deep and dissolve what’s holding them back so they can build their best lives. Amanda is a graduate of Whole Life Yoga’s teacher training program.

You can reach her at thesavourysoul@gmail.com or find her on her blog, The Savoury Soul or Facebook.

When I enrolled in the Whole Life Yoga 200 hour teacher training program I couldn’t even wrap my head around the idea of actually teaching at the end of the 10 months. How was I, little old cautious, timid me going to get in front of people and teach them for 75 minutes?

What I admired most about my favorite teachers were the insightful words that effortlessly left their lips and left a mark on my soul. I wanted to be THAT kind of teacher.

The October after graduation I taught my first class. I showed up, script in hand, wise words ready to be said. I was ready to make a difference in others’ lives. However, when I opened my mouth to speak these profound words, nothing inspiring came. I found myself just going through the motions of teaching.

I continued to show up, and so did my students.  I continued to teach off of my script. I wasn’t a bad teacher, I just didn’t feel connected to what I was doing. Something felt off, and I found myself dreading class because I wasn’t able to deliver what I thought I was supposed to.

What was going on, I wondered? This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.  Did I really want to teach yoga? Was there something deeper tugging at my soul? I continued to teach, but I still felt stale.  I used the proper language, spoke like a true yogi and came ready with my class tailored around a certain theme. But still, something was missing.

On a cool morning late last spring, I drove to the studio, exhausted from subbing, being back in school and surviving the chaos that life sometimes brings.  I sank down in the driver’s seat and sighed, thinking that I just didn’t have it in me to put on my ‘yoga teacher show.’  Then it hit me.  No wonder I was exhausted!

I climbed out of my car with new found energy and peace in my heart. I had found the missing link. I had been so consumed by the idea of being a perfect yoga teacher that I forgot to be myself.

“I’m done,” I said to myself.  I’m done trying to be someone I’m not. As my students and I sat in silence that day, I silently whispered to my inner guide, “Give me the words that need be heard and help me to speak directly from my heart.”

What came out of my mouth surprised me. It wasn’t something profound, but something that made us all giggle. A lightness  fell over the room. My students filled the room with tiny smiles.

My teaching was forever changed.

I now connect with my students in a deeper, more authentic way.  And isn’t that the goal of yoga anyway? Finding your authenticity, letting go of the filters in which we perceive ourselves and others?

For those of you just starting to teach or exploring the idea of teaching, here’s my advice: Give up the goal of being the perfect teacher and let your own personality come through. Speak from what’s yearning to be said from deep within. Listen to yourself; ask yourself for wisdom and the words need to be heard. Or heck, don’t say much of anything other than the instructions needed to keep your students safe.

Don’t try to teach like someone else because it will feel untrue and yucky and heavy on your heart. Teach because you believe in the power of yoga and the power to share an important message with others.

Give your students, and most importantly, yourself that gift.

Namaste.

Amanda

Come visit Whole Life Yoga in Seattle, and check out Tracy Weber’s author page for information about the Downward Dog Mysteries series.  MURDER STRIKES A POSE is available for preorder now from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Whole Life Yoga, and other retailers!

Meditation for Better Grades

Want to improve your GPA? Try meditation!

A recent study published in the April, 2013 edition of Mindfulness Journal showed that practicing simple meditations before college lectures can help students improve focus, retain information, and increase test scores.  Meditation practice (or lack thereof) even predicted which students passed and which ones failed post lecture quizzes.

In the study—performed by professor Robert Youmans of George Mason University and doctoral student Jared Ramsburg of the University of Illinois—students were randomized into two groups. One group followed basic meditation exercises before lecture, the other did not. The meditation group had significantly higher post lecture quiz scores than the control group. This meditation effect seemed to be the most significant in classes with a high proportion of freshmen students, likely because freshmen students often have more difficulty focusing than their more senior classmates.

Most astounding to me was the minimal time and effort required to get significantly improved test scores. I’ve long told my students that ten-minute meditation practices done consistently can change your life.  This study shows that you might not even need to spend that much time. Students in these studies were only asked to meditate for six minutes before class.

Give it a try!  This simple meditation practice is a great way to get started.

Namaste

Tracy Weber

Come visit Whole Life Yoga in Seattle, and check out my author page for information about the Downward Dog Mysteries series.  MURDER STRIKES A POSE is available for preorder now from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Whole Life Yoga, and other retailers!

Compassion in Actions, Words, and Thoughts

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”  Unknown.

I received an interesting comment from a cyber friend recently.  Those of you who know me, know that I love my dog.  I adore her.  Insufferably.  I’m sure people get tired of hearing my Tasha stories, probably with good reason. Only the true dog (or cat, or rabbit or horse, or snake or…) lovers among you can understand.

I know Tasha’s not human. I know she’s “just” a dog. But she’s still part of my family. Her recent health issues have been very challenging for me on emotional, financial, and spiritual levels.  And I’m a writer.  It’s what I do.  It’s how I process emotions and use them to (hopefully positively) influence my world.

In any case, things are finally looking up for Tasha and me. We ruled out lots of deadly diseases. We made it through hip replacement surgery. And although there’s still a long recovery ahead of her, it looks like she will be with me for hopefully several more years.  To say I’m happy, if exhausted, would be an understatement.

I posted about that on Facebook.

First, let me say that I LOVE Facebook.  I enjoy seeing photos of people’s kids, updates on their daily activities, inspirational sayings, and cute puppy pictures.  I use it to ask for energy and to encourage others and give them support.  So it was natural for me to share good news from a veterinary surgeon about my dog’s likely return to health.

The vast majority of people didn’t say anything about the post. The rest replied with encouragement.

One person, however, chose a different route. She chose to berate me, saying that I wrote more about my dog in that post (a few sentences) than most people write about their dying parents.  She continued to write that I must be pretty darned lucky if I could write so much about a dog when others were suffering true hardships.

I considered replying, but I didn’t.  I just let it go.

I regret that.  So now, here is my reply.  First, yes, I’m lucky.  So very, very lucky. I know that.  I have a wonderful life, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I don’t write about my father on Facebook because sadly, he died almost 13 years ago. My mother is healthy, as is my husband, thank God.

My dog is not.

I love this four-legged creature that has blessed me so much, to a fault. I know some people don’t understand that love, and I can live with that.

Why am I writing about this? The yoga sutras say we should always act with compassion—in actions, words, and thoughts. Today, I challenge all of you—myself too—to remember that in all of our communications—be they in person or on social media.  We each have the power to make someone’s day brighter.  Let’s use it.

Come visit Whole Life Yoga in Seattle, and check out my author page for information about the Downward Dog Mysteries series.  MURDER STRIKES A POSE is available for preorder now from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Whole Life Yoga, and other retailers!

Ending the Dog Days of Summer German Shepherd Style

This week I’m Guest Blogging on Write Here, Write Now, the blog for author Sheila Boneham.  Check out the stories of the two German Shepherds I’ve been blessed enough to share my life with!  (And you might even see a paragraph or two about MURDER STRIKES A POSE, due out January 8!)

Namaste

Tracy Weber

Come visit Whole Life Yoga in Seattle, and join my author mailing list for updates on MURDER STRIKES A POSE, available early 2014 from Midnight Ink!

Motherhood and Viniyoga

This week’s blog entry was written by guest author Shelley Curtis. Shelley is a graduate of Whole Life Yoga’s teacher training program and a yoga teacher at Whole Life Yoga. She can be contacted at sac68@earthlink.net.

If you’d told me in my 20s and 30s that I would someday be both a yoga teacher and a mother, I would’ve giggled myself silly. But yoga – and motherhood – found me when I needed them the most.

In our late 30s, my partner (now husband) and I were quite content with being childless; watching in amusement how chaotic and out-of-control the lives of our friends with children appeared to be. But at some point we began to feel that having children would bring more joy than chaos. We were ready for a change in our lives that would bring self growth and a new perspective.

At about the same time, I injured my back and began practicing hatha yoga to rebuild my strength and flexibility.  Once I conceived, my growing belly made practicing the asanas I was used to more challenging. A friend (later one of my viniyoga mentors) invited me to come to her prenatal yoga series at Whole Life Yoga.  I didn’t know anything about viniyoga, but I was eager to find a yoga practice that I could continue through my pregnancy.

Turns out, viniyoga was the exact thing my body needed. At the time, I had no idea it was also exactly what my mind needed. I focused on the physical aspects of my practice, but little by little I began to connect breath, body and mind.

My transition to motherhood wasn’t quite as smooth.

I felt overwhelmed, isolated and I struggled with my new identity. I realize now that I was completely attached to the outcome of my actions. I measured my success as a mother by how well my child nursed, slept, ate, and behaved. I loved my son with all my heart, but my mind was often occupied by thoughts of the future and planning for what was (maybe) to come. Sometimes being in the present moment was too painful and scary.

Even though the first couple of years were a struggle at times, the joy of being parents overcame us and we decided to have a second child. My pregnancy coincided with my teacher training at Whole Life Yoga. What a gift! I loved learning about the physical asanas, sequencing and anatomy (ok, maybe not anatomy). But the real joy was learning how to quiet my mind – how to stay present with my breath and my body. As a result, my transition to motherhood the second time seemed way less overwhelming. Yes, I had done it once before, but I truly believe my attempts to internalize the principles of yoga made the difference.

My viniyoga practice made me a better mother.

The effects of viniyoga on motherhood come in many shapes and sizes. First, I am able to be in the present moment more often and more fully. Second, I am better able to practice non-attachment, which frees me (to some degree) from the outcomes of my mothering. Third, paying attention to my breath and trying as best I can to live in the present moment make me less reactive and more patient. Finally, my yoga and meditation practices teach my kids about the importance of self-care, even if they don’t know it yet.

Motherhood and yoga practice are both life-long journeys that teach me to slow down, breathe, and be more fully present. I can’t think of a better combination.

Shelley

Come visit Whole Life Yoga in Seattle, and join Tracy Weber’s author mailing list for updates on MURDER STRIKES A POSE, available early 2014 from Midnight Ink!

My Life as a Poser

This week’s blog entry was written by guest author Claire Ricci. Claire is a graduate of Whole Life Yoga’s teacher training program. She can be contacted at Claire@Clairericci.com .

For years I lived with the tyranny of the yoga pose. I tried hard to make mine look the way my teacher’s did; the way I thought it “should” look.  I had marginal success, was set back by injury, generally felt pretty small, and like I would always be a beginner.

I stumbled into Viniyoga, which holds that the pose should meet the student, rather than the student meeting the pose. This changed everything.

When I tried to meet the pose where it was I felt inadequate. The pose was right, I was wrong. The tightness of my hamstrings or the length of my arms was irrelevant. My energetic condition of no interest. To be “good” at yoga meant serving the pose.

Meeting the pose where I was meant the pose served me.  My physical, mental, and emotional state mattered, so every practice mattered. I no longer had to struggle or be “propped” into position.  This shift in perspective caused a revolution. Like a well-planted tree growing from its roots, I expanded.

There is true beauty in allowing yourself to be exactly where you are, and striking out from there. It makes each practice a bit of an adventure as you discover what it has for you today, this one special day. Truthfully, this is the only real place we can start; no matter what we tell ourselves, or how hard we work we just can’t leap from a place we’re not standing. Missing that is what led me to perpetual beginner-hood.

I’ve had the honor of working with students facing challenges that made them doubt they would be “good” at yoga. Some expected to hate it. I get this. Who wants to return to a practice that feels like it doesn’t quite fit, or worse that you don’t?

It’s exciting and incredibly rewarding to see how fast these students progress as they shift away from the limitations they hold for themselves. Once you release the notion that you need to fit the practice and allow your practice to fit you, it becomes a whole new ball game. Struggle evaporates when you become aligned with yourself and stop pursuing the perfect posture. This is the payoff.

Now here’s the even bigger news: What happens in yoga happens in life. What we learn on the mat walks with us right into our daily lives.

Meeting ourselves in yoga is the path for meeting ourselves in all aspects of our lives. Being aligned with ourselves can become a way of being, allowing us to root and expand, transforming our work, our family lives and how we meet the world.

This is a giant gift to ourselves, and to those we encourage to meet themselves where they are whatever the context.

The next time you find yourself on your mat take a minute to greet yourself and ask, what can I do for you? This may be the most important question of your day.

Claire Ricci

Come visit Whole Life Yoga in Seattle!