Kathy Lynn Emerson's Blog, page 39

Loving Our Big Blue Dumpster

There’s a big blue dumpster in my driveway.

No, we’re not doing re-doing our kitchen or adding a new room, or even re-doing a room we already have.

We’re cleaning up.

Now, I want to assure you that my husband and I are not hoarders. Walking through the rooms of our house isn’t a problem. Although Bob’s studio … and the ell room that holds our dryer and the cartons of my books .. and that other room in the ell where we have a freezer and a pile of empty boxes and odds and ends we used at antique shows (when we did antique shows). Yes, those rooms could use some help.

OK. We’re not hoarders. But somehow we’ve accumulated a lot of stuff. (And nonsense.) We’re tossing a lot of the past into that big blue dumpster. Computer and audio equipment and televisions that stopped working years ago, but that we never got to the dump.

Papers that belonged to parents, former spouses, or former selves. Cans of almost-empty-and-now-hardened paint from ten years ago, when we were re-doing rooms. Appliances and tools that don’t work. Jars we might use to clean paint brushes or make pickles. But we haven’t. Bits and pieces of construction materials, also left from ten plus years ago, “in case we needed them.” We haven’t.

Broken glass we never recycled or took to the dump, but kept nice, neat piles of. Broken picture frames we never fixed. Metal and wooden stands and worn portfolios we used in the antique print business we now run solely out of the house. Hoses with holes. Plastic flower pots.

And etc. Lots of et ceteras.

Yes, recently both my husband and I have both had some health issues. But we’re feeling better. He’s painting. I’m writing. We went out for lunch today.

But this purge is improving our mental health more than any pill. Feeling weary or aggravated? Throw something out! Tired of sitting at a desk or standing at an easel? Clear that clutter!

Plus, there’s the bonus of re-finding long-lost items. (Bob found the original of his will yesterday. I found a needed surge protector in the case of a long-dead laptop.)

We’ve even purged our closets, and donated bags of clothing that doesn’t fit our bodies or lifestyles any more. (Clothing doesn’t go in the dumpster.) We have a pile of “still-good-but-not-for-us” items to donate to the Historical Association yard sale next spring. (We donated a van full this year, too.)

Next challenge? Trimming bushes I haven’t touched for over a year because of manuscript deadlines, and whose healthy new growth is beginning to cover our first floor windows and has totally eliminated our using one door.

I can hardly wait to get started with my clippers. But – first – I have to write my daily quota of pages. Then, my daily reward? Filling that dumpster.

It’s a challenge Bob and I can live with. We’ll live better without everything we’ve avoided dealing with for too long. (One of the hazards of having a cellar and an attic and a barn, as well as those ell rooms.)

And, who knows? Maybe I’ll find the clues to a future mystery in the debris we’re sorting through. Stranger things have happened.

I’ll think about that soon.  Right after I clear out that drawer full of non working tape recorders and cameras and wires that connected computers that are long-gone. I have my trash bag ready …

I Could Use That

Only because it’s happened to me three times in the last week am I moved to address something I’m sure many writers have to deal with, that moment when someone tells you a bit of interesting information or an intriguing anecdote and then says: “You should write that; that would make a great story.” (Though I’m also sure few of my friends speak with semicolons.) (But when they do, they’re used correctly.)

Usually the jot or tittle someone is offering you is less a story idea than a bit that, combined with other bits, might make a story if you could find the right other bits and then combine them in the right way. But most nonwriters probably don’t want to be involved in a long conversation about the exigencies of turning raw material into stories and so I’ve developed as noncommittal a polite response as I can manage.

My new response to would-be story matter experts is this: “I could use that.”

So in the spirit, in case you are a writer in search of something you can use, but something that is not in fact a story in and of itself, I offer you the following bits that have come across my ken recently:

French fitness model killed by exploding whipped cream canister.
Misplaced sparkler accidentally ignites fireworks in the back of an SUV.
Man with record for longest life with bullet in his head dies at 103.
Oregon State Asylum baseball team goes barnstorming.

Vermont woman assassinates her own car with an assault rifle on Interstate 91.

What these individual bits lack, of course, is both the detail and backstory to turn them into stories. How exactly does a burning sparkler set off an entire compartment full of fireworks? What does it look like? What does it sound like? What does an asylum baseball team wear on the field? When it’s not on the field?

You can’t have a story without characters. Who be stupid enough to stand close enough to a load of fireworks with a burning sparkler? And why? Distracted? Under the influence? Suicidal? Or did someone toss the sparkler in there deliberately?

Who is this woman trying to kill her car and why did she do it? Did it fail to start one too many times while she was on her way to work at the strip club? Or is she a lapsed nun with PTSD?

How did the 103-year old man get a bullet in his head? Did his brother think he was a squirrel? Was it a war wound? Did he do it himself?

So you can tell your interlocutors that a bit is not a story until you apply some curiosity to it, the element that turns a fact or two into a tale worth telling. And it is the particular curiosity that a writer brings to his or her bits that makes the story. Which means the someone telling you what a good story something would make should write their own. I think we can agree that we should all write our own stories.

As horrible a tale as the whipped cream death is, I suspect the first reaction of many of my crime writer cohorts was: “Yup. I can use that.” It’s OK to fess up. We are not horrible people but we do lean toward the bizarre, especially if the bizarre happens to be fatal. And if you’ve got a good bit, we can use that. We don’t mind stealing. Just don’t try and tell us what is and isn’t a story . . .

Weekend Update: July 8-9, 2017

Next week at Maine Crime Writers, there will be posts by Dick Cass (Monday), Lea Wait  (Tuesday), Barb Ross (Wednesday), Brendan Rielly (Thursday), and Kate Flora (Friday).

In the news department, here’s what’s happening with some of us who blog regularly at Maine Crime Writers:

from Kaitlyn Dunnett: I’m doing another Goodreads giveaway, this time for ten copies of the fourth book in the Liss MacCrimmon series, The Corpse Wore Tartan. You can enter by clicking here: https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/242038-the-corpse-wore-tartan and signing up for the drawing. The giveaway runs from July 5 until July 19. The Corpse Wore Tartan strands my regular cast of characters and the members of the Scottish Heritage Appreciation Society at a luxury hotel during a blizzard. And then, of course, there’s a murder . . .

 

 

Today, Saturday, July 8, you’ll find Barbara Ross, Lea Wait, Dorothy Cannell, Kate Flora, Paul Doiron, Richard Cass, Bruce Coffin, Jen Blood, Jim Hayman, and many other authors of fiction, nonfiction and books for children, at Books in Boothbay, a wonderful summer book festival at the Boothbay Railway Museum on route 27 in Boothbay, Maine, from 9a.m. until 1 p.m.

 

 

 

 

 

Monday, July 10, Kate Flora will be speaking at the Witherle Library in Castine at 7:00 p.m.

Tuesday, July 11, Lea Wait will be speaking with children attending the Young Authors Camp at the University in Maine at Orono sponsored by the Maine Writing Project, and leading a teachers’ workshop about exciting their students about writing.

 

An invitation to readers of this blog: Do you have news relating to Maine, Crime, or Writing? We’d love to hear from you. Just comment below to share.

And a reminder: If your library, school, or organization is looking for a speaker, we are often available to talk about the writing process, research, where we get our ideas, and other mysteries of the business. Contact Kate Flora

The Scents of Summer

By Brenda Buchanan

This time of year is one long olfactory system celebration.

You can fill your lungs with the sweet smell of a just-cut hayfield.

Huff the scent of ripe strawberries.

Stick your face right up close to a rosa rugosa bush (watch out for bees!) and inhale nature’s perfume.

It’s high summer in Maine, friends, and it sure smells good.

How can you not love the smell of a campfire?

Of chicken being grilled low and slow?

The salt on your skin following an after-work dip in the ocean?

A blessed sea breeze on a muggy day?

In June, July and August I sometimes feel like a black lab with my head out the window, gulping in all the smells that are mostly absent during the nine months between September and May.

Ozone after a big lightning storm.

Ice cream. (If you don’t think ice cream has a smell, your first job must have been doing something other than scooping cones for jillions of Little Leaguers who’d just won the big game.)

The well-oiled pocket of a baseball mitt.

Yes, some summer smells are to be endured.

The compost bucket when it sits too long on the counter.

The acrid stench of road paving.

A skunk going off in the middle of the night.

But those nose-wrinklers make the good ones all the sweeter.

Running over the mint patch with the mower.

Fried clams.

Coppertone.

Happy summer to all of you, and to your noses, too.

 What are your favorite summer smells and why? Please share in the comments. Backstory gets bonus points!

Brenda Buchanan is the author of the Joe Gale Mystery Series, featuring a diehard Maine newspaper reporter who covers the crime and courts beat. Three books—QUICK PIVOT, COVER STORY and TRUTH BEAT—are available through the Carina Press website, http:// carinapress.com and everywhere else quality ebooks are sold.

 

The Second Time Around

Happy July 6th! Bruce Robert Coffin checking in. I hope you’re all enjoying this fab summer weather. It certainly took long enough to get here, right? But not everything takes that long. For example, John Byron #2, Beneath the Depths, is due to be released on August 8. Book two? Seriously? How can that be? How in hell did we get here already? Why it was only two years ago that I was beginning to think I’d never be published. Not traditionally, anyway. I couldn’t even find a publisher willing to take on my short story Fool Proof. The one I thought was my best to date. It seemed totally crazy to imagine publishing a series of novels when I couldn’t even get one piece of short fiction off the ground.

 

And then it happened. Sandwiched between two spam emails was the electronic communication of which I’d been dreaming. An email from Level Best Books congratulating me on the inclusion of Fool Proof into their Best New England Crime Stories Anthology, Red Dawn. Which reminds me, if you haven’t checked out the latest Level Best Anthology, Busted: Arresting Stories from the Beat, you should! In addition to my latest story, Bygones, you’ll find a tremendous collection of new crime fiction to feast upon.

Every published author has a similar story. The road to publication is a long and twisty affair. Full of potholes and detours. Half of the time we don’t even know if we’re going the right way or if we have enough gas in the tank to reach our destination. But like the lost spouse who refuses to stop and ask directions we press on, continuing to write even when it makes no sense. Why you ask? Because we love to write. We love to tell stories. Spin yarns. Take those ‘what ifs?’ and slap ‘em down onto the page. In short, we love taking you on the ride with us.

 

You may wonder why publication is so important, if it’s the writing that truly matters. Well I’ll tell you. It’s as simple as validation. The idea that a publisher values what we’ve written as much as we do. And values it enough to package it into a book and put it out for all the world to see. But beyond validation is the dream that the masses will pick our story up and read it. And not just read it, but devour it. We want them to love what we’ve written so much that they can’t wait for the next. It’s the reason we drew on cave walls. I think the dream of any serious writer is that someone will wander into their cave and begin reading.

Am I excited to see my second novel in print? Of course I am. I’m already working hard inside cave number three!

Phishing Hits a New Level of Incompetence

Kaitlyn Dunnett/Kathy Lynn Emerson here. Recently I received an email that brightened my day. Why? Because a good laugh is always welcome. It happened to be spam, or to be more precise, phishing—a blatant attempt to get me to send them information they could then use to steal from me. There are a lot of these scams out there. Some succeed in fooling the recipient, in the short term if not long enough to actually do harm. But this one? Rather than try to explain the many many tipoffs contained in the text, I’m simply going to share it in its entirety. Enjoy!

 

Subject: DID YOU SIGN THE POWER OF ATTORNEY!!!

INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND (IMF)

DEPT: WORLD DEBT RECONCILIATION AGENCIES.

ADVISE: YOUR OUTSTANDING PAYMENT

NOTIFICATION

A power of attorney was forwarded to our office this morning by

two gentle men, one of them is an American national and he is MR.

DAVID DEANE by name while the other person is MR. JACK MORGAN by

name a CANADIAN national.

This gentlemen claimed to be your representative, and this power

of attorney stated that you are dead, they brought an account to

replace your information in other to claim your fund of $12.5

Million Usd which is now lying DORMANT and UNCLAIMED, below is

the new account they have submitted:

BANK.-HSBC CANADA

Vancouver, CANADA

ACCOUNT NO. 2984-0008-66

Be further informed that this power of attorney also stated that

you suffered and died of throat cancer. You are therefore given

24hrs to confirm the truth in this information, If you are still

alive, You are to contact us back immediately, Because we work 24

hrs just to ensure that we monitor all the activities going on in

regards to the transfer of beneficiaries inheritance and contract

payment.

You are to reply to this office immediately for clarifications on

this matter as we shall be available 24 hrs to attend to you and

give you the necessary guidelines on how to ensure that your

payment is wired to you immediately.

Just also be informed that any further delay from your side could

be dangerous, as we would not be held responsible of wrong

payment.

 

Barrister. Barry Christopher

Finance Department Director

International Monetary Funds Agents

+1407-801-6706

 

Even if I’d fallen for the rest of this drivel, the signature line would have given the game away. Lawyers don’t sign their names that way, not even in Canada.

Most fraudulent emails have similar obvious mistakes in the text. Some of them are downright laughable. If you have examples to share, I’d love to hear from you in the comments section.

Kathy Lynn Emerson/Kaitlyn Dunnett is the author of more than fifty traditionally published books written under several names. She won the Agatha Award and was an Anthony and Macavity finalist for best mystery nonfiction of 2008 for How to Write Killer Historical Mysteries and was an Agatha Award finalist in 2015 in the best mystery short story category. She was the Malice Domestic Guest of Honor in 2014. Currently she writes the contemporary Liss MacCrimmon Mysteries (X Marks the Scot—December 2017) and Deadly Edits series (Crime and Punctuation—2018) as Kaitlyn and the historical Mistress Jaffrey Mysteries (Murder in a Cornish Alehouse) as Kathy. The latter series is a spin-off from her earlier “Face Down” mysteries and is set in Elizabethan England. New in 2017 is a collection of short stories, Different Times, Different Crimes. Her websites are www.KaitlynDunnett.com and www.KathyLynnEmerson.com

 

 

Discover Our Maine Things . . .

A group post in which a group of Maine writers share some of the things/places/events/secrets that make our own Maine special.

Kate Flora: My Maine thing, starting as a very small child on that farm in Union, is wild Maine blueberries. My mother reported that

The blueberry field my husband gave me for my birthday.

when I was born in July instead of September (I was always impatient) the nurse, who could hold me in the palm of her hand, called me “Little Blueberry Eyes.” They’re not so blue now, but I make up for it by being a blueberry baroness (or perhaps, given the term “blueberry barrens,” I am a blueberry barreness?) since my husband bought me an 18-acre blueberry field. I collect blueberry recipes. I was once a candidate for Maine Blueberry Queen. And I love the day, every other year (since wild blueberries crops are harvested every other year) when my friends and I gather in the field and pick berries together, then have a picnic and swim in the pond.

In my blueberry field, where I should be in August

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Susan Vaughan: My Maine thing is Maine’s varied landscape—the rocky coast, the mountains, the streams and lakes. I love the ocean, but the state’s lakes are special places. When my husband and I moved to the Maine coast nearly forty years ago, we made certain to explore. Columbus Day gave us teachers the weekend free for leaf peeping like tourists.We stayed at a friend’s log cabin at Rangeley Lake, a rented one by Moosehead Lake, and another by Millinocket Pond with a view of Mt. Katahdin. The owners of the various places were so kind, informing us of the best hikes and the best places to eat. And once at a cabin on Nicatous Lake (forty miles from the nearest town) we expected to eat one evening in the lodge. Oops, the dining room wasn’t open, so that meant cheese sandwiches and canned soup. But the owner took pity on us and brought us baked potatoes topped with lobster!

 

 

Dick Cass: In 1963, with a clutch of earthworms in the pocket of my dungarees and in the company of my dad and my favorite uncle, I winched up my first fish off the Route 1 bridge in Solon and fell in love with that beautiful numbnuts of the river, the brook trout. Like any anthropomorphizing fool, I believe some species are a touch more attractive than others: the Roosevelt elk, king salmon, the eagle, and the brook trout. But if there is a species that speaks to my sense of Maine, it is salvelinus fontinalis.

Dark green to brown, its flanks are marbled in lighter shades, a coloration called vermiculation. With their dark skin sprinkled in red dots haloed in blue, they are as beautiful as moving water and succulent as steak. Yes, I eat ‘em, too, if not very often. I’ve fished all over the place, for steelhead and tarpon and snook, for striped bass and largemouth and smallmouth, and I’ve never seen a fish I loved the looks of so well.

Maine holds one of the few major populations of native brook trout outside of Labrador. Delicate and beautiful, the fish are an indicator species for clear pure cold fresh water. They are extremely sensitive to heat, pollution, and other environmental degradation. Over half of Maine’s brook trout waters are not stocked, which means they have self-sustaining populations. This means that a lot of Maine’s waters are still clear, pure, cold, and fresh. May it always be so.

Bruce Robert Coffin: There really are just too many Maine things to pick only one. If I must choose, then my obvious choice would be the Appalachian Trail (AT). The AT, one of the nations oldest and most well-known hiking trails, stretches nearly 2200 miles from Georgia to Maine. The Pine Tree State encompasses more than 12 percent of the entire AT. 270 miles of rambling trail passes through some of the most difficult, remote, and breathtaking locations in the country. Maine is also home to Mount Kahtahdin, the northern terminus of the trail, located within Baxter State Park. There is much to love about Maine and the Appalachian Trail is like a ribbon surrounding all of it.

Kaitlyn Dunnett/Kathy Lynn Emerson: My Maine things are two places that renew the spirit and stretch the mind when you visit them, something I should do far more often than I manage to at present.

One is Washburn/Norlands, a living history center just down the road from me in Livermore, Maine. It’s a working 19th century farm that offers live-ins, hosts Civil War encampments, and provides a number of other educational and entertaining events. When they lost their barn to a devastating fire, they turned raising a new one into an opportunity to involve the community and teach old-time methods of construction. I wrote about an early stage of this in Pounding Pegs

For those who want more information, go to: http://www.norlands.org

The second place is the Theater at Monmouth, Maine’s Shakespearean theater. In addition to a couple of plays by the bard each summer season, they present the work of other playwrights from all eras. Look for them at: http://www.theateratmonmouth.org

Maureen Milliken: Everything everyone has already said, and add to it, one thing I really love is that you can be driving along in the middle of woods or somewhere else, and all the sudden you burst out onto a ridge where you have the most incredible view.

The view from Kents Hill in Readfield.

Places that immediately come to mind are West Road in Belgrade, U.S. Route 202 coming out of Albion toward Unity (look to the left if you’re going north, to the right if you’re east toward Albion), right after you turn onto Route 41 from 17 at Kents Hill in Readfield, a quick burst to the north east on Route 27 in New Sharon shortly after you leave Belgrade … and so many more.

My mom and I were just discussing yesterday how Mount Washington just pops up all over the place — you can see it from Portland’s Western Prom, from

That white blob isn’t a cloud, it’s New Hampshire’s Mount Washington as seen from West Road in Belgrade.

Highland Road in South Portland, West Road in Belgrade, Pleasant View Ridge Road in China — and I bet hundreds of other places. Thousands.

Maine never disappoints with its dramatic and surprising landscape. And there’s just so much of it — its accessible to everyone.

State House, May 27.

And an additional shout out for our beautiful State House in Augusta, which always looks great, no matter where you approach it from. I can’t help but take photos every time I see it!

Jessie Crockett/Jessica Estevao: My Maine thing is stories since all of my family, on both sides, is from here. I had the grave misfortune to be born away and the stories of the places and the people and the attitudes my parents and grandmothers and even great-grandparents had to share made it feel like I was a part of it anyway. I imagine it was a bit like being a child of immigrants raised on tales of the old country. I think one reason I became a writer was because of all the stories: spooky ones, wry ones, laugh-out-loud whoppers.

Lea Wait: So many things in Maine to love! Art museums, auctions, high end crafts, people with wonderfully diverse backgrounds … but I think I’ll vote for an almost trite Maine experience: Lobster, steamed, served with melted butter (and maybe some steamed clams or mussels) eaten, preferably out of doors, overlooking a harbor. Is anything better? Well — you could add a glass of champagne!

Vaughn C. Hardacker: We would be remiss if we were to do a blog on Our Maine Things and didn’t mention our state bird–the Black Fly!

Black Fly eating its favorite meal–a Mainer!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John: Now that I’m retired, I try to walk to the store, library and post office as often as I can. With decent weather upon us, I’m pleased and amazed at how often those short jaunts turn into conversations, mostly with old library friends or people I’ve met through my participation in local groups, but sometimes when I’m overhearing conversations. Even with very divided political opinions here in rural Maine, chatting with others often centers around what we share as opposed to what we don’t. Helping people with rides, gardening assistance, giving away unwanted wood from tree trimming, talking about guilty pleasures like whose photo was on the ‘recently jailed’ website, or what the eight year old riding his bike caught when he and his dad fished off the dam yesterday are all things that make small town living a special Maine thing.

He who greets you when you stop at the amazing gardens of Barbara Day

Barb: My new Maine thing is a Damariscotta River Cruise! We went with Lea Wait and Bob Thomas last year for an oyster tasting with wine pairings. So interesting. Every oyster tasted different because it was farmed differently, even though they all came from the same seed and all were grown in the same river! This year our whole family went on a the regular cruise and saw seals, and oyster farms and a bald eagle who put on an amazing show for us. I truly recommend this excursion.

Photo by Sunny T Basham Carito

Weekend Update: July 1, 2017

Tomorrow through the 4th of July holiday Maine Crime Writers will feature a group post on “Our Maine Things.” Then there will be posts by Kaitlyn Dunnett/Kathy Lynn Emerson (Wednesday), Bruce Coffin (Thursday), and Brenda Buchanan (Friday).

In the news department, here’s what’s happening with some of us who blog regularly at Maine Crime Writers:

 

Maureen Milliken recently launched her second podcast, Notes from a Cranky Editor, which has brief (most less than five minutes) weekly episodes focusing on topics in writing, and editing, with some peeves and rants thrown in.

To subscribe, click on the link above, or go to millikenediting.com  (or just click on that link) or find it on iTunes, Android, bluberry, or whatever podcast app you enjoy.

Her true crime podcast with her sister Maine artist Rebecca Milliken, Crime & Stuff, just dropped its 30th episode and she and Rebecca are launching GroovyTube: Season 1, The Crimes of the Brady Bunch, over the holiday weekend. (Rebecca designs the logos, by the way).

 

From John Clark: Pre-order link is now live for Day of the Dark anthology

http://wildsidepress.com/day-of-the-dark-stories-of-eclipse-edited-by-kaye-george-paperback-pre-order/

NEXT WEEKEND IS THE 13TH ANNUAL BOOKS IN BOOTHBAY!

Held at the Boothbay Railway Village from 9-1 on July 8, this gathering of over thirty Maine authors includes Maine Crime Writers Dorothy Cannell, Dick Cass, Bruce Robert Coffin, Kate Flora, Barbara Ross, and Lea Wait.

 

An invitation to readers of this blog: Do you have news relating to Maine, Crime, or Writing? We’d love to hear from you. Just comment below to share.

And a reminder: If your library, school, or organization is looking for a speaker, we are often available to talk about the writing process, research, where we get our ideas, and other mysteries of the business. Contact Kate Flora

Stop stealing from writers. I’m not going to ask nicely. Just stop.

Just don’t.

 

If you are getting my books from someone who provides “free” PDFs for a monthly subscription, you’re breaking the law and helping a criminal steal from me. If you’re getting them free online without paying for them, it’s the same thing: stealing from me.

Sure, the guy providing the PDFs is worse — he’s actually doing the stealing. But you’re really no better.

Okay, okay. I know YOU don’t do it. But I bet you know someone who does.

So clever, right? Sticking it to “the man” — big publishers, Amazon, whoever it is your friend thinks is making zillions of dollars when he buys a book the legal way. We all know that guy — the one who knows how to get the soda from the machine without paying, or how to manipulate the restaurant into giving him his meal for free.

Why am I going on about this? I was made aware this week of a site — I’m not going to help the criminal who runs it by publishing the website name — that offers a monthly subscription and in exchange, subscribers can get all the “free” PDFs of books they want.

Mine are on there, as well as many of the authors on this blog site.

The site’s owner has a page of legaleeze that says he’s in “compliance” with 17 U.S. Code 512, the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. I’m not a lawyer, but from what I can tell after looking it up (think he’s going to tell you what it is? Of course not), all that act says is that the guy who owns the site isn’t liable for monetary damages for “transmitting” the copyrighted material that doesn’t belong to him as long as he’s not directly charging for the books.

I know he’s not the only one doing it — I stumbled on the site. I’m sure there are many like it out there. Some of my fellow Maine Crime Writers wondered if it was a phishing scam — something designed to get you to send information. I don’t believe it is. The owner of the website didn’t send me the information, I found it by accident. The information I had to provide to attempt to get my books removed is information easily found anywhere — my email address.

And if it is a phishing scam? The site still offers copies of books it doesn’t legally have a right to offer.

I know some countries don’t have the same copyright laws we have. But since he’s marketing to Americans, taking money from Americans and offering American books — still illegal.

Because he’s not directly selling the books he and those who take advantage of the site may believe that somehow the law isn’t technically being broken. I don’t give a damn.

Those of you who are writers know how hard we work and how little money we make.

Those of you who are readers often tell me how impressed you are with how hard we work and what the end result of all that work is.

Every single writer on this blog, as well as countless others across the country, works his or her butt off to do something few people have the talent or guts to do. I’m not going to apologize for not being humble about it, because it takes a lot of dedication and fortitude to get it right and those of us who do it have a right to be proud of what we do and call it what it is.

Then there’s the long painful slog of finding an agent and/or publisher, getting the books published, the never-ending process of marketing so maybe someone will actually read it.

Every writer has a different situation, and some live more comfortably than others, but most of us don’t make a living from our books and have to work at other jobs. Try working all day, then coming home to write a book. Try finding the time in your day to do everything you have to do, then on top of it writing a book.

Get the picture?

Compensation for the time we put in — from the writing to everything that comes after it’s published — is probably pennies per hour. If that.

Most of us also aren’t even remotely compensated for the vision, talent, insight, pleasure, entertainment — you name it — whatever intangible thing a good book gives you that keeps you reading.

But we still do it.

I’m not asking for sympathy for something I’ve chosen to do, but I want people to fully understand the damage when someone who has no right to offers a copy of a writer’s book for sale, or “free.”

I’m too pissed off to be more articulate about this. Maybe some of my colleagues on this blog can write thoughtful pieces about the legalities, or the big-picture damage it does. There are many who would do a really nice job.

Me? I’m not that guy. I’m pissed off. I don’t like being jerked around. I don’t like the books I put my heart and soul into, that are a huge part of me, being whored around so some asshole can make a buck.

If my language offends you, I apologize. But imagine how you’d feel. Don’t be offended by my words, be offended by what’s causing them.

The thief who’s selling my books has an overly complicated process for writers who want him to stop illegally providing copies of their books to suckers and idiots.

It’s bullshit made to intimidate people who aren’t sure what their rights are or are afraid to engage. He is BREAKING THE LAW, but basically saying “if you want me to stop you have to ask in a very specific way or I’ll ignore you.”

I didn’t pay much attention to his “rules.” I’m not going to jump through hoops to pretty please ask someone if he can find it in his heart to STOP STEALING FROM ME.

In the contact form provided, I said “I’m Maureen Milliken, the author of Cold Hard News. You are breaking the law by offering copies of my book. Take it off your site.”

I did the same for my other book, No News is Bad News.

I didn’t say please. No, I didn’t. I didn’t say thank you.

It’s nothing to be polite about. He’s stealing from me. Am I repeating myself? I feel like I need to keep saying it so people understand. He’s STEALING from me. And if you don’t care because you don’t like me, he’s also stealing from Bruce Coffin. How about that? And from Barbara Ross. And many, many others.

I’m not sure if my request will have any effect. In any case, he’ll just find other books to illegally make available. There are a lot of books on that site, as well as magazine articles and other written material.

He wouldn’t be doing it, though, if there wasn’t a market for it.

Most criminals who commit crimes because of greed put in the effort only if they know they’re going to make money. It’s one of the many things that sets him poles apart from the people who actually wrote the books and own the copyrights that he’s illegally offering.

I know you wouldn’t take part in something like this, because you’re not a half-wit. But tell your friend who does this:

I always have a box of books in my car. If you can’t afford to buy one legally, I’ll give you one. And sign it, to boot.

He can find my books in most of Maine’s libraries, as well as many out-of-state ones.

If he want to owns his own copy — thanks! — he can buy my books for $16.99 from my publisher, from many bookstores, from Amazon. He can find digital audio copies on Audible.

There are lots of places to legally access my books.

I get a fraction of the money people pay to buy them and I’m glad for every cent. I’m grateful. Not only because people think my books are worth buying, but also because someday I’d like to make enough money from my books that I can afford to write them without having to work multiple other jobs to pay my bills.

If your friend really, really wants to own my books and can’t afford them, I’ve got a box of them in my car. I’ll give him a free copy. Even sign it.

I have a right to do that, by the way. It’s my book.

But if your friend is getting books illegally just because it’s a gas to bypass the legal way to buy something?

That’s stealing. You friend is stealing from me. That’s disgusting and shameful.

So, if you’re on the internet and come across a site where you can get a PDF of a book for free, or you can get all the PDFs of books you want for a monthly subscription, and it seems like a good idea, keep this in mind: That’s someone’s copyrighted work. You will be stealing from that person.

I’m not saying please. I’m not saying thank you. I’m not going to be polite about it.

Just don’t do it.

Maureen Milliken is the author of the Bernie O’Dea mystery series. Follow her on Twitter at@mmilliken47 and like her Facebook page at Maureen Milliken mysteries. Sign up for email updates at maureenmilliken.com. She hosts the podcast Notes from a Cranky Editor all by herself, as well Crime&Stuff with her sister Rebecca Milliken.

Green Zen

John Clark on something that you might not think has much to do with writing. Read on and decide for yourself.

Remember when you were a kid? Think for a moment about some of the things you were absolutely convinced would NEVER be part of your life when you grew up. What was on that list? One item near the top of mine was weeding. In addition to 15,000 chickens, we had several gardens and by golly, they had plenty of weeds that needed pulling. I hated doing it, so much in fact, that there were a couple times I played dumb and started pulling veggies. That, didn’t fool my father one bit and he doubled the length of whichever row that needed weeding before I was off the hook.

When I was in high school, I worked weekends, after school and summers, sometimes at a neighbor’s poultry farm, sometimes working in the blueberry industry or something allied like burning fields, building an irrigation pond or harvesting squash…But no blasted weeding.

Part of the landscaping I’m doing at my neighbor’s. This was a dandelion and bramble jungle. It’s on its way to a 100 Hosta plantation

From 1966 until the mid 1970s, the extent of my gardening was raising a particular plant that was not only illegal, but required no weeding. In fact, it was better to let weeds grow as high as possible to shield the crop from prying eyes.

I couldn’t, however escape my heritage. My grandmother, Della Clark was an amazing flower gardener up in New Portland, my father had a degree in horticulture and Mom not only gardened avidly, she was a member of the Garden Writers of America.

When Beth and I bought out first home in Chelsea, I spent considerable time turning the disaster that was our back yard into a garden. My neighbor, Sam Morrison, also liked gardening and let me use his tiller whenever I needed to. Somewhere in that process, weeding became a completely different experience, one I learned to like and use in ways I could never have imagined as a kid.

Sam was a man of few words, but he was comfortable sitting on our stone wall while I talked about anything and everything. In the process, I realized that the speed of my weed pulling and rock tossing (the latter seeming to grow in abundance over the winter) directly correlated with my emotional and mental state, particularly in early sobriety. If I was wound up tighter than a teddy bear, I tended to weed like a demon and my mind went at a similar speed. As I learned to recognize this, I was not only able to slow things down, but was able to turn the whole frantic process into a form of manual labor meditation with some very tangible results.

An ‘after weeds’ picture. Cukes and set plants now have no competition.

For four months out of the year, weeding became my way of figuring out my place in the world and how to deal with sticky or uncomfortable situations. It also made for a far better garden and greater harvests.

That continued but expanded after we moved to Hartland. With fewer mental quandaries, I started writing in my head while weeding. In fact, it was while pulling dandelions and fuming at the huge right wing bias in columns in the local free paper that I got my idea of a counter column. It came to be called Right-Minded, But Left of Center, running weekly for several years until the paper folded. In addition, I discovered how many different sounds you can hear while weeding. Cars, semis jakebraking, multitudes of birds, neighbors doing everything from fighting to chatting or playing music, children playing, loons calling, jets and float planes passing overhead. In fact an idea that went into a couple stories where the protagonist used a concept I called sound separation, to help focus and solve a mystery that wasn’t cooperating.

The range of visible experiences while weeding can be equally varied and rewarding. I see bees (got an amazing shot of a bumblebee with a silver pollen sack that looks like an insect version of a Pony Express rider), butterflies, hummingbirds, domestic and wild animals as well as fantastic cloud formations.

One of my favorite insect shots.

This week, I discovered yet another benefit of weeding-rehabilitation from an injury. A month ago, I felt a pop in my left knee while walking on the edge of the road. Before I got home, I was really limping and it just got worse. An initial diagnosis of a sprain, relieved some anxiety, but after two weeks with more pain and stiffness, I went back and was referred for an MRI. It took a week to get the results: bad sprain, maybe a tiny meniscus tear, but no need for surgery. Even so, it hurt big time and I was still pretty darn stiff. I spent better than three hours on my knees weeding the garden across the road two days this week. My knee is still sore, but there’s a lot more flexibility and as you can see in the last photo, the garden is beginning to look pretty spiffy. The sea of green in photo two is six rows of yet to be weeded potatoes. Another three hours and they’ll be free of pigweed so they can concentrate of turning tiny spuds into tasty behemoths. In addition to drug-free therapy and better veggies, I’ve gotten plenty of sun and more than a couple story ideas.

Come fall, spuds aplenty

After I invent my time machine, I’m going back and have a heart to heart chat with my teen self and encourage him to stick with the weeding. Who knows, he might even write a best seller while in his twenties and make us both rich. What was on your ‘Never Gonna Do This’ list that’s now a part of your life? I’d really like to know.