Stephanie Faris's Blog, page 59
September 19, 2014
Nobody Wished Me a Happy Birthday on Facebook
Today's my birthday.
One of the best things about a birthday in the social media era is that you know, at any time of the day, you can log into Facebook and see a page full of Facebook birthday wishes.
A couple of years ago, while I was still working in an office, my cubicle neighbor was complaining that nobody had wished him a happy birthday on Facebook. I opened up my own Facebook page and looked for his name in the upper right-hand corner.
No name.
"Facebook doesn't know it's your birthday," I pointed out.
"I know. I don't want people to know," he said. "That's private information."
"Then how would they know to wish you a happy birthday?"
"They just should know," he said.
Hope you have a happy "my birthday!" I'm spending mine at the beach! See you all Monday.
One of the best things about a birthday in the social media era is that you know, at any time of the day, you can log into Facebook and see a page full of Facebook birthday wishes.
A couple of years ago, while I was still working in an office, my cubicle neighbor was complaining that nobody had wished him a happy birthday on Facebook. I opened up my own Facebook page and looked for his name in the upper right-hand corner.
No name.
"Facebook doesn't know it's your birthday," I pointed out.
"I know. I don't want people to know," he said. "That's private information."
"Then how would they know to wish you a happy birthday?"
"They just should know," he said.
Hope you have a happy "my birthday!" I'm spending mine at the beach! See you all Monday.
September 17, 2014
Should I Be Scared to Be Nice?
From a young age, we're taught to do the right thing. To be good to other people. To avoid being rude. So why is it that sometimes being nice gets you nothing more than this?
When I worked in an office, dealing with different personalities every day proved to be a challenge. I always tried to be polite, though. So imagine my surprise when one day I asked a woman, "Have you lost weight?" and she took it as an insult.
Her exact response was, "No. I'm good." She said it in a very defensive manner. And that was the first time I realized asking someone if they'd lost weight has now joined the ranks of "impolite questions."
Like this.
While most people may see, "Have you lost weight?" as a compliment, apparently it's an insult for some. Who knew?
Have you ever been snapped at for doing something nice?
When I worked in an office, dealing with different personalities every day proved to be a challenge. I always tried to be polite, though. So imagine my surprise when one day I asked a woman, "Have you lost weight?" and she took it as an insult.
Her exact response was, "No. I'm good." She said it in a very defensive manner. And that was the first time I realized asking someone if they'd lost weight has now joined the ranks of "impolite questions."
Like this.
While most people may see, "Have you lost weight?" as a compliment, apparently it's an insult for some. Who knew?
Have you ever been snapped at for doing something nice?
September 15, 2014
I’m Not Quitting Soda
Is it me, or has everyone given up soda? Especially diet soda. Seems every other day, someone on Facebook is announcing their 7th day without diet soda, as if they've joined a 12-step program.
During the A to Z challenge on Indulgences, my D is for Diet Dr. Pepper blog was pretty enlightening. You'd think I'd posted "D is for Drugs" or "C is for Cigarettes" instead of just saying I drink one Diet Dr. Pepper each day with lunch. The comments were overwhelmingly in the, "I don't drink diet soda anymore because it's going kill us all" line of thinking.
I don't like the taste of coffee. I tried to force myself, but it wasn't happening. If I do drink water, it always has a dash of this:
Or a packet of this:
I used to drink water with lunch, but I found I ate more. When I had a diet soda, I ate less. Maybe this goes against some scientific study, but it works for me.
The industry actually backs up the fact that diet soda consumption is way down. Regular soda, which is also bad for you, has dropped dramatically in popularity in the past couple of decades. I think it's due in part to the wide variety of bottled water options available now...
Interestingly, a recent study actually found drinking diet soda can promote weight loss compared to drinking only water. However, for every one study that says one thing, there will always be another study that contradicts it. In the meantime, the soda companies are scrambling to create a diet soda that uses a natural sweetener. Of course, someone will find something wrong with that.
Do you have an unhealthy indulgence?
During the A to Z challenge on Indulgences, my D is for Diet Dr. Pepper blog was pretty enlightening. You'd think I'd posted "D is for Drugs" or "C is for Cigarettes" instead of just saying I drink one Diet Dr. Pepper each day with lunch. The comments were overwhelmingly in the, "I don't drink diet soda anymore because it's going kill us all" line of thinking.
I don't like the taste of coffee. I tried to force myself, but it wasn't happening. If I do drink water, it always has a dash of this:
Or a packet of this:
I used to drink water with lunch, but I found I ate more. When I had a diet soda, I ate less. Maybe this goes against some scientific study, but it works for me.
The industry actually backs up the fact that diet soda consumption is way down. Regular soda, which is also bad for you, has dropped dramatically in popularity in the past couple of decades. I think it's due in part to the wide variety of bottled water options available now...
Interestingly, a recent study actually found drinking diet soda can promote weight loss compared to drinking only water. However, for every one study that says one thing, there will always be another study that contradicts it. In the meantime, the soda companies are scrambling to create a diet soda that uses a natural sweetener. Of course, someone will find something wrong with that.
Do you have an unhealthy indulgence?
September 12, 2014
We Have a Stage-Four Talker
I've spent 44 years on this Earth. 44 years of learning and growing. Yet there's one skill that still eludes me. It's the art of getting out of a conversation.
It isn't so bad now that I work from home. In a cubicle, it's the worst feeling ever. In my 20s, I worked with a woman who came into my office every day to tell me how much weight she'd lost.
I once used the bathroom as an excuse to get away from a guy who would sit in my guest chair, talking for hours about football, despite my repeated attempts to tell him I knew NOTHING about football.
I've seen people who can gracefully get out of any conversation. I'm not one of them. Someone once told me if you want a conversation to end, stop talking. Eventually they'll run out of things to say.
Yeah...that doesn't work.
I had a friend who would pretend his phone was buzzing. He always left it on silent at work, so people believed him. He'd just grab his phone (on his belt) and say, "Sorry. I have to take this call." It worked every time.
How do you get out of a conversation that won't end?
And now for a little Friday fun. If you've never seen this video, you have to watch it. It's HILARIOUS!
It isn't so bad now that I work from home. In a cubicle, it's the worst feeling ever. In my 20s, I worked with a woman who came into my office every day to tell me how much weight she'd lost.
I once used the bathroom as an excuse to get away from a guy who would sit in my guest chair, talking for hours about football, despite my repeated attempts to tell him I knew NOTHING about football.
I've seen people who can gracefully get out of any conversation. I'm not one of them. Someone once told me if you want a conversation to end, stop talking. Eventually they'll run out of things to say.
Yeah...that doesn't work.
I had a friend who would pretend his phone was buzzing. He always left it on silent at work, so people believed him. He'd just grab his phone (on his belt) and say, "Sorry. I have to take this call." It worked every time.
How do you get out of a conversation that won't end?
And now for a little Friday fun. If you've never seen this video, you have to watch it. It's HILARIOUS!
September 10, 2014
Release Week Giveaway: Ashelyn Drake, Into the Fire and Perfect For You
Usually when we celebrate a book launch, it's to announce the release of one new book. But this week, we're celebrating the launch of two books. The first one is a YA romantic fantasy called Into the Fire.
Seventeen-year-old Cara Tillman’s life is a perfectly normal one until Logan Schmidt moves to Ashlan Falls. Cara is inexplicably drawn to him, but she’s not exactly complaining. Logan’s like no boy she’s ever met, and he brings out a side of Cara that she isn’t used to. As the two get closer, everything is nearly perfect, and Cara looks forward to the future.
But Cara isn’t a normal girl. She’s a member of a small group of people descended from the mythical phoenix bird, and her time is running out. Rebirth is nearing, which means she’ll forget her life up to this point—she’ll forget Logan and everything they mean to one another.. But that may be the least of Cara’s problems.
A phoenix hunter is on the loose, and he’s determined to put an end to the lives of people like Cara and her family, once and for all.
Goodreads
Amazon
Barnes and Noble
The second is a young adult contemporary romance called Perfect For You.
Seventeen-year-old Meg Flannigan isn’t very self-confident, but what girl would be after her sophomore-year boyfriend dumped her by making out with another girl in front of her locker?
Now a senior, Meg catches the eye of not one, but two gorgeous guys at school. Sounds good, right? What girl wouldn't want to be in Meg's shoes? One cute boy happens to be her boyfriend, and the other? Well, he wants to be. And Meg? She's torn between Ash, the boy she's been with for nearly five months, and Noah who is pretty irresistible.
But Meg is playing with fire. Pitting two boys against one another, even if she doesn't intend to, could end badly if she isn't careful.
Goodreads
Amazon
To celebrate the releases Ashelyn is giving away a SWAG pack that includes:
A flame pendant from Into the Fire.
A phoenix button.
A heart bracelet from Perfect For You.
$5 Amazon Gift Card.
You know you want to enter, so fill out the rafflecopter. Good luck!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Seventeen-year-old Cara Tillman’s life is a perfectly normal one until Logan Schmidt moves to Ashlan Falls. Cara is inexplicably drawn to him, but she’s not exactly complaining. Logan’s like no boy she’s ever met, and he brings out a side of Cara that she isn’t used to. As the two get closer, everything is nearly perfect, and Cara looks forward to the future.
But Cara isn’t a normal girl. She’s a member of a small group of people descended from the mythical phoenix bird, and her time is running out. Rebirth is nearing, which means she’ll forget her life up to this point—she’ll forget Logan and everything they mean to one another.. But that may be the least of Cara’s problems.
A phoenix hunter is on the loose, and he’s determined to put an end to the lives of people like Cara and her family, once and for all.
Goodreads
Amazon
Barnes and Noble
The second is a young adult contemporary romance called Perfect For You.
Seventeen-year-old Meg Flannigan isn’t very self-confident, but what girl would be after her sophomore-year boyfriend dumped her by making out with another girl in front of her locker?
Now a senior, Meg catches the eye of not one, but two gorgeous guys at school. Sounds good, right? What girl wouldn't want to be in Meg's shoes? One cute boy happens to be her boyfriend, and the other? Well, he wants to be. And Meg? She's torn between Ash, the boy she's been with for nearly five months, and Noah who is pretty irresistible.
But Meg is playing with fire. Pitting two boys against one another, even if she doesn't intend to, could end badly if she isn't careful.
Goodreads
Amazon
To celebrate the releases Ashelyn is giving away a SWAG pack that includes:
A flame pendant from Into the Fire.
A phoenix button.
A heart bracelet from Perfect For You.
$5 Amazon Gift Card.
You know you want to enter, so fill out the rafflecopter. Good luck!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
September 8, 2014
A World without Secretaries
At one time, offices were filled with women whose duties revolved around making life easier for their bosses. They typed letters.
Screened phone calls.
And made sure their bosses always had plenty of alcohol on hand for their morning, noon, and early evening meetings.
They also covered up their bosses' affairs, fetched coffee, and picked up dry cleaning. Often they'd even be asked to buy gifts for their bosses' wives. There were no job descriptions in those days. Secretaries did whatever their bosses wanted.
Secretaries, now called administrative assistants, are increasingly disappearing from the workplace. In many businesses, bosses are deciding they don't need assistants at all. They can type their own letters (emails), take their own calls (smartphones), and outsource everything else.
There's just one problem with that. Just one thing businesses have forgotten.
"We don't need assistants," bosses said. And now many bosses look a lot like this most days.
Of course, the career began becoming extinct at just the right time. The very types of women who were running offices behind-the-scenes in the 60s and 70s have now figured out they can run their own businesses today. And best of all...no more demeaning work.
What do you think? Do today's businesses need administrative assistants?
Screened phone calls.
And made sure their bosses always had plenty of alcohol on hand for their morning, noon, and early evening meetings.
They also covered up their bosses' affairs, fetched coffee, and picked up dry cleaning. Often they'd even be asked to buy gifts for their bosses' wives. There were no job descriptions in those days. Secretaries did whatever their bosses wanted.
Secretaries, now called administrative assistants, are increasingly disappearing from the workplace. In many businesses, bosses are deciding they don't need assistants at all. They can type their own letters (emails), take their own calls (smartphones), and outsource everything else.
There's just one problem with that. Just one thing businesses have forgotten.
"We don't need assistants," bosses said. And now many bosses look a lot like this most days.
Of course, the career began becoming extinct at just the right time. The very types of women who were running offices behind-the-scenes in the 60s and 70s have now figured out they can run their own businesses today. And best of all...no more demeaning work.
What do you think? Do today's businesses need administrative assistants?
September 5, 2014
The Worst Client Ever
I've been freelance writing for several years, slowly building a client base and increasing my pay as I went. During this time, I've been lucky to have worked with some amazing people. Clients who know how to treat a writer.
Let's face it--that isn't an easy thing. Writers need lots of this:
Or, at the very least, not this:
99.99999% of all clients seem to realize that when you yell at a creative person, you tend to block the very creativity you need. But there's always that tiny percentage who love making people miserable. They're like the mean newspaper editor in a movie.
My worst client ever was like that. When I started working with him (for him, in his case), I was genuinely excited. The per-article rate was extremely high and he didn't seem to have very many writers, despite his many ads searching for them.
I noticed right away that his tone was quite a bit harsher than usual. But I'm a Southern girl. We're a bit...sensitive to that.
It only got worse. He'd fire hateful, threatening group emails out over small things. He'd reject countless articles, calling them, "a mess." Finally, it occurred to me that his cruel rejections were causing me to lock up at the keyboard. With every sentence, I'd hear his mean voice in my head, telling me I suck. Then it started seeping into my other writing, including my fiction. That was when it was ON!
As writers, we will be forced to deal with criticism. We'll grow from it. But when we find ourselves dealing with a toxic critic...and that critic harms our creative spirit...it's time to walk away.
Or, if you're Mary Poppins, open your umbrella and fly away.
Have you ever dealt with a toxic critic?
Let's face it--that isn't an easy thing. Writers need lots of this:
Or, at the very least, not this:
99.99999% of all clients seem to realize that when you yell at a creative person, you tend to block the very creativity you need. But there's always that tiny percentage who love making people miserable. They're like the mean newspaper editor in a movie.
My worst client ever was like that. When I started working with him (for him, in his case), I was genuinely excited. The per-article rate was extremely high and he didn't seem to have very many writers, despite his many ads searching for them.
I noticed right away that his tone was quite a bit harsher than usual. But I'm a Southern girl. We're a bit...sensitive to that.
It only got worse. He'd fire hateful, threatening group emails out over small things. He'd reject countless articles, calling them, "a mess." Finally, it occurred to me that his cruel rejections were causing me to lock up at the keyboard. With every sentence, I'd hear his mean voice in my head, telling me I suck. Then it started seeping into my other writing, including my fiction. That was when it was ON!
As writers, we will be forced to deal with criticism. We'll grow from it. But when we find ourselves dealing with a toxic critic...and that critic harms our creative spirit...it's time to walk away.
Or, if you're Mary Poppins, open your umbrella and fly away.
Have you ever dealt with a toxic critic?
September 3, 2014
How Do You Name Your Characters?
Parents and pet owners usually only have to face the dilemma a few times in a lifetime. But authors deal with it on a regular basis--sometimes even every few months. The dilemma? Coming up with names for fictional characters.
While you may spend much more time anguishing over what to name your new baby, you'll be faced with coming up with unique, original names on a regular basis as an author of fiction. As if it weren't hard enough, you then hear statements like this:
A name doesn't always just pop into your head when you think of a character. Your characters aren't pets. You can't just name them based on a physical trait.
In the old days, authors turned to the Yellow Pages or a baby naming book to find inspiration. I even used to keep a list in a notebook of unique names I heard. When it was time to name a character, I then went down the list, trying out names to see if anything fit.
Now there are websites that help you come up with
But will that necessarily give you the best name? You could spend all day generating names and still not find one that fits.
How do you name your characters? Do you keep a list of cool names or do you use the internet?
While you may spend much more time anguishing over what to name your new baby, you'll be faced with coming up with unique, original names on a regular basis as an author of fiction. As if it weren't hard enough, you then hear statements like this:
A name doesn't always just pop into your head when you think of a character. Your characters aren't pets. You can't just name them based on a physical trait.
In the old days, authors turned to the Yellow Pages or a baby naming book to find inspiration. I even used to keep a list in a notebook of unique names I heard. When it was time to name a character, I then went down the list, trying out names to see if anything fit.
Now there are websites that help you come up with
But will that necessarily give you the best name? You could spend all day generating names and still not find one that fits.
How do you name your characters? Do you keep a list of cool names or do you use the internet?
September 2, 2014
The Genius Bar: An Otherworldly Experience
I've always been a Microsoft Windows person, mostly because it's my comfort zone. But I love my iPhone and Windows 8 has me thinking about making the switch.
My husband has all Apple devices for work, though. And that meant he had to pay a visit to a place I'd only heard about. A place of legend. The Apple Store.
Even the store looks like something out of a sci-fi movie. Inside are all the devices your friends tell you that you should have.
One thing that stood out to me was the number of employees. Even on a busy Saturday morning, there were more workers than customers.
Compare that to the AT&T store, where you take a number and hope someone gets around to you...
Or Best Buy, where you have to beg for help from someone who really doesn't know all that much about anything but the computer he owns...
And the Apple Store is definitely a better experience. These people know everything about Apple. They even have a Genius Bar.
It's a tad more impressive than the Geek Squad's setup.
Have you ever been inside an Apple Store?
My husband has all Apple devices for work, though. And that meant he had to pay a visit to a place I'd only heard about. A place of legend. The Apple Store.
Even the store looks like something out of a sci-fi movie. Inside are all the devices your friends tell you that you should have.
One thing that stood out to me was the number of employees. Even on a busy Saturday morning, there were more workers than customers.
Compare that to the AT&T store, where you take a number and hope someone gets around to you...
Or Best Buy, where you have to beg for help from someone who really doesn't know all that much about anything but the computer he owns...
And the Apple Store is definitely a better experience. These people know everything about Apple. They even have a Genius Bar.
It's a tad more impressive than the Geek Squad's setup.
Have you ever been inside an Apple Store?
August 29, 2014
The Cephalopod Coffeehouse: Best Book of August
Today I'm participating in the monthly meeting of the Cephalopod Coffeehouse, where we sign up to write about the best book we've read this month.
It seems I'm always surrounded by books I have to read when this meeting rolls around. This month I've been tasked with reading chapter books to work on a book for younger readers. I searched far and wide for good chapter books.
I downloaded sample after sample to my Kindle and read, read, read. Most of the time, I only made it a few pages in before I knew I couldn't read any more.
Where are the good chapter books?
Then...just as I was starting to lose hope...there it was. The light at the end of the tunnel! I found this book series:
It was like home! I loved this series from the first word of the first book. It had everything I love in a book. Nail polish, spunky young characters, young girls trying to fit in... Did I mention nail polish?
So I have a request of you all. More books like this! Can anyone recommend books for readers around the age of 6-9 years old that are girly like this one (or like Clementine, Junie B. Jones, etc.)? Even Amazon doesn't seem to be able to help.
Did you read a good book this month? If so, join in on the Cephalopod Coffehouse by entering your link below and posting a blog about it.
It seems I'm always surrounded by books I have to read when this meeting rolls around. This month I've been tasked with reading chapter books to work on a book for younger readers. I searched far and wide for good chapter books.
I downloaded sample after sample to my Kindle and read, read, read. Most of the time, I only made it a few pages in before I knew I couldn't read any more.
Where are the good chapter books?
Then...just as I was starting to lose hope...there it was. The light at the end of the tunnel! I found this book series:
It was like home! I loved this series from the first word of the first book. It had everything I love in a book. Nail polish, spunky young characters, young girls trying to fit in... Did I mention nail polish?
So I have a request of you all. More books like this! Can anyone recommend books for readers around the age of 6-9 years old that are girly like this one (or like Clementine, Junie B. Jones, etc.)? Even Amazon doesn't seem to be able to help.
Did you read a good book this month? If so, join in on the Cephalopod Coffehouse by entering your link below and posting a blog about it.
