Stephanie Faris's Blog, page 26
July 1, 2016
Getting Your Book into Barnes & Noble
Authors with traditional publishers take for granted that we can find our books on shelves on release day. We go to our local Barnes & Noble and there it is, like magic.
It isn't so easy for independent authors. If you self-publish or choose a small press, you often must go to your local bookstores and ask that they carry it. You'll also need to promote it, which means one of these:
Most authors, no matter how we're published, must put these events together ourselves. And most of us have no clue how to go about it in the beginning. I walked into every bookstore in the area and introduced myself.
One bookstore has the best idea I've ever seen. Ever. Barnes & Noble in Chattanooga, Tennessee has a community relations manager who "gets" authors. Not only does he support us, he becomes a cheerleader for our careers. If every bookstore in the world took this approach, this is how readers would be:
He has put together an event to help authors who want to have a book signing in the store. The event not only tells you what you need to do to make your signing successful, but it provides information on how to get your books on the shelves of your local Barnes & Noble.
Plus (and this is the super-smart part), attending one of these seminars is a pre-requisite to having a signing this fall. Which makes life great for both B&N and authors because when the signing does happen, an author just might see a crowd like this:
(We can dream, right?)
Unfortunately, if you don't live near Chattanooga, this won't help you. However, the community relations manager has offered to share his notes with other Barnes & Noble locations. Visit your local B&N and tell them about this, then have them call Kelly at the Chattanooga, Tennessee store if they'd like his notes. Maybe this will eventually become a regular event at all their stores.
Also, Barnes & Noble has its own printing platform (eBook and print), in case you didn't know about it. More information here:
Do you have any tips for writers interested in getting their books on the shelves of bookstores? Or any tips on successful book signings? If so, leave them in the comments for others!
It isn't so easy for independent authors. If you self-publish or choose a small press, you often must go to your local bookstores and ask that they carry it. You'll also need to promote it, which means one of these:
Most authors, no matter how we're published, must put these events together ourselves. And most of us have no clue how to go about it in the beginning. I walked into every bookstore in the area and introduced myself.
One bookstore has the best idea I've ever seen. Ever. Barnes & Noble in Chattanooga, Tennessee has a community relations manager who "gets" authors. Not only does he support us, he becomes a cheerleader for our careers. If every bookstore in the world took this approach, this is how readers would be:
He has put together an event to help authors who want to have a book signing in the store. The event not only tells you what you need to do to make your signing successful, but it provides information on how to get your books on the shelves of your local Barnes & Noble.
Plus (and this is the super-smart part), attending one of these seminars is a pre-requisite to having a signing this fall. Which makes life great for both B&N and authors because when the signing does happen, an author just might see a crowd like this:
(We can dream, right?)
Unfortunately, if you don't live near Chattanooga, this won't help you. However, the community relations manager has offered to share his notes with other Barnes & Noble locations. Visit your local B&N and tell them about this, then have them call Kelly at the Chattanooga, Tennessee store if they'd like his notes. Maybe this will eventually become a regular event at all their stores.
Also, Barnes & Noble has its own printing platform (eBook and print), in case you didn't know about it. More information here:
Do you have any tips for writers interested in getting their books on the shelves of bookstores? Or any tips on successful book signings? If so, leave them in the comments for others!
June 29, 2016
How NOT to Sell Crap on Facebook
A few weeks ago, a girl from high school I've never spoken to before added me to her group. She didn't ask first, so I assume I was one of hundreds of people she added. Her product was part of one of those pyramid scheme things that pretend not to be...like Pampered Chef and Mary Kay.
So this spammy woman immediately started posting junk to her page. Videos of her talking about the product, ads for the product, invitations to buy the product. There were probably about five posts a day.
And then I made the biggest mistake. I bought something from her. I'd bought the product before from other people and she was the only one I could find who was selling it. She posted one of these and tagged me, so everyone I knew could see I'd bought this crap:
No biggie. I'd ordered from friends on Facebook before and gotten the same thing. Had nothing happened after that, life would have been fine. But soon after, I got a personal email asking me to check out her other items and buy something.
I ignored that and the next day, she posted another video. Another notification came with it. She messaged me and told me to check those out. I clicked over, intending to do this:
But, whoops, along the way I saw this and decided to click on it:
Problem solved. But I couldn't help but think that if she'd just not been so obnoxious, I would still be following her. She could have posted the occasional special and I would have been fine. But the constant messages were just too much.
Have you ever had a friend who seemed to always be trying to make money off of you?
Last chance to enter my Goodreads giveaway!
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Goodreads Book Giveaway
Piper Morgan Joins the Circus by Stephanie Faris Giveaway ends June 29, 2016.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway
So this spammy woman immediately started posting junk to her page. Videos of her talking about the product, ads for the product, invitations to buy the product. There were probably about five posts a day.
And then I made the biggest mistake. I bought something from her. I'd bought the product before from other people and she was the only one I could find who was selling it. She posted one of these and tagged me, so everyone I knew could see I'd bought this crap:
No biggie. I'd ordered from friends on Facebook before and gotten the same thing. Had nothing happened after that, life would have been fine. But soon after, I got a personal email asking me to check out her other items and buy something.
I ignored that and the next day, she posted another video. Another notification came with it. She messaged me and told me to check those out. I clicked over, intending to do this:
But, whoops, along the way I saw this and decided to click on it:
Problem solved. But I couldn't help but think that if she'd just not been so obnoxious, I would still be following her. She could have posted the occasional special and I would have been fine. But the constant messages were just too much.
Have you ever had a friend who seemed to always be trying to make money off of you?
Last chance to enter my Goodreads giveaway!
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Goodreads Book Giveaway
Piper Morgan Joins the Circus by Stephanie Faris Giveaway ends June 29, 2016. See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway
June 27, 2016
How to Get a Book Published in 1,000 Easy Steps
Once you're published, you get the occasional question from an aspiring author. The question almost always boils down to this:
Maybe they've written a book. Maybe they haven't. But questions like "How do I get a book published?" can be complicated to answer. I often feel that they're looking for the magic fairy dust.
I started writing in 1995. I landed my agent in 2009. I got my first book deal in 2012. So...yeah...that magic fairy dust was this:
So, I've decided to write this blog post, which I'll save as a link to send to anyone who asks. This is the most important thing I'd tell anyone who wants to be a novelist:
So if you pass that test, I'd point you to the next piece of advice almost every working author today lives by:
Long before I typed "Chapter One" on my first book, I was reading everything I could. Including Stephen King's entire collection. Once I started writing, I kept finding time to read, including listening to audiobooks and riding the bus to work so I could get my reading time in.
There are supplies you can gather for your journey, including a support group. I highly recommend it. For the first half of my journey, I relied heavily on the support of Romance Writers of America (RWA), a 100-percent awesome organization.
If you're a children's writer, this is your group. Another 100-percent awesome organization.
If you're looking for a group that meets in person regularly, Meetup can help you find a critique/support group:
You should also set up a Twitter account and start following agents who represent the type of books you plan to write. They'll often post calls for specific types of manuscripts. You may also want to sign up for this:
If you want to self-publish, I'm not the person to ask. That's a whole other complicated blog that I'm sure one of my mega-talented blogger friends has posted about before.
(If you have, please post the link in the comments!)
Hope this guide has been at least a little helpful. Also, once you're published, be careful reading an unpublished author's work. It can put you into some serious legal hot water if that author decides you "stole" his or her idea later.
What advice do you have for new authors?
My giveaway ends Wednesday. Enter now!
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Goodreads Book Giveaway
Piper Morgan Joins the Circus by Stephanie Faris Giveaway ends June 29, 2016.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway
Maybe they've written a book. Maybe they haven't. But questions like "How do I get a book published?" can be complicated to answer. I often feel that they're looking for the magic fairy dust.
I started writing in 1995. I landed my agent in 2009. I got my first book deal in 2012. So...yeah...that magic fairy dust was this:
So, I've decided to write this blog post, which I'll save as a link to send to anyone who asks. This is the most important thing I'd tell anyone who wants to be a novelist:
So if you pass that test, I'd point you to the next piece of advice almost every working author today lives by:
Long before I typed "Chapter One" on my first book, I was reading everything I could. Including Stephen King's entire collection. Once I started writing, I kept finding time to read, including listening to audiobooks and riding the bus to work so I could get my reading time in.
There are supplies you can gather for your journey, including a support group. I highly recommend it. For the first half of my journey, I relied heavily on the support of Romance Writers of America (RWA), a 100-percent awesome organization.
If you're a children's writer, this is your group. Another 100-percent awesome organization.
If you're looking for a group that meets in person regularly, Meetup can help you find a critique/support group:
You should also set up a Twitter account and start following agents who represent the type of books you plan to write. They'll often post calls for specific types of manuscripts. You may also want to sign up for this:
If you want to self-publish, I'm not the person to ask. That's a whole other complicated blog that I'm sure one of my mega-talented blogger friends has posted about before.
(If you have, please post the link in the comments!)
Hope this guide has been at least a little helpful. Also, once you're published, be careful reading an unpublished author's work. It can put you into some serious legal hot water if that author decides you "stole" his or her idea later.
What advice do you have for new authors?
My giveaway ends Wednesday. Enter now!
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Goodreads Book Giveaway
Piper Morgan Joins the Circus by Stephanie Faris Giveaway ends June 29, 2016. See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway
June 24, 2016
Best Books of June
It's once again time to tell you about the best books I read this month. Here are the awesome books I read this month!
The first book this month is the perfect summer read. This one might take you back to your own childhood summers, especially if you spent time visiting relatives as I did. The Summer of Lost and Found is both fun and informative.
I loved that this book covered the mystery of the lost Roanoke Colony, a topic that fascinates any good mystery lover! Nell Dare isn't all too excited about spending the summer at Roanoke Island, especially with her father suddenly having flown off to London. But over the course of the summer, she begins a search for artifacts belonging to the lost colonists and the adventure makes the summer awesome. Rebecca weaves history into the modern-day story in a way that is entertaining and enlightening. Any parent or teacher looking for a great book for their kids should check this one out!
Next up is a fantabulous young adult romance from the very talented Jen Malone.
In Wanderlost, a not-so-adventurous 17-year-old gets to take her much-more-adventurous older sister's place on a tour of Europe. The catch? She has to lead a group of senior citizens on the tour while pretending to be her sister. When she meets the hunky son of the tour's owner, keeping up the lie becomes increasingly complicated. This swoony romance will have you learning AND enjoying every word you read. If you're looking for a great summer escape, this is the book for you!
I love Quanie Miller's blog. She always has the best tips for writers. If you aren't regularly reading it, add it to your list. Meanwhile, here's another thing to add to your list--this fun book, which I finally got around to reading this month!
It Ain't Easy Being Jazzy introduces us to a fun, spirited character named (of course!) Jazzy. I'm not exaggerating when I say Quanie is hilarious. Every scene is set up as a perfect comedy, with Jazzy and her associated friends and relatives keeping you entertained with each word. Even Jazzy's work situation will make you laugh out loud. I never did find out why her boss kept telling her to wind a dead clock! Read this book--you'll be glad you did!
My final book this month was from another familiar face, Diedre Knight. Her book, Sawdust, is a charming chapter book about a young boy in the 60s.
Sawdust is a true coming-of-age story, centering around the adventures of a young boy in a small town. It's the kind of simple story that will remind you of your favorite movies. Plus, it includes a dog who can do some pretty cool things, like swim across the river and swipe things when people aren't looking! This is a short, charming read you'll love!
What are you reading?
Pssst: I'm having a Goodreads giveaway for an advance copy of Piper Morgan Joins the Circus. Enter below!
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Goodreads Book Giveaway
Piper Morgan Joins the Circus by Stephanie Faris Giveaway ends June 29, 2016.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway
The first book this month is the perfect summer read. This one might take you back to your own childhood summers, especially if you spent time visiting relatives as I did. The Summer of Lost and Found is both fun and informative.
I loved that this book covered the mystery of the lost Roanoke Colony, a topic that fascinates any good mystery lover! Nell Dare isn't all too excited about spending the summer at Roanoke Island, especially with her father suddenly having flown off to London. But over the course of the summer, she begins a search for artifacts belonging to the lost colonists and the adventure makes the summer awesome. Rebecca weaves history into the modern-day story in a way that is entertaining and enlightening. Any parent or teacher looking for a great book for their kids should check this one out!
Next up is a fantabulous young adult romance from the very talented Jen Malone.
In Wanderlost, a not-so-adventurous 17-year-old gets to take her much-more-adventurous older sister's place on a tour of Europe. The catch? She has to lead a group of senior citizens on the tour while pretending to be her sister. When she meets the hunky son of the tour's owner, keeping up the lie becomes increasingly complicated. This swoony romance will have you learning AND enjoying every word you read. If you're looking for a great summer escape, this is the book for you!
I love Quanie Miller's blog. She always has the best tips for writers. If you aren't regularly reading it, add it to your list. Meanwhile, here's another thing to add to your list--this fun book, which I finally got around to reading this month!
It Ain't Easy Being Jazzy introduces us to a fun, spirited character named (of course!) Jazzy. I'm not exaggerating when I say Quanie is hilarious. Every scene is set up as a perfect comedy, with Jazzy and her associated friends and relatives keeping you entertained with each word. Even Jazzy's work situation will make you laugh out loud. I never did find out why her boss kept telling her to wind a dead clock! Read this book--you'll be glad you did!
My final book this month was from another familiar face, Diedre Knight. Her book, Sawdust, is a charming chapter book about a young boy in the 60s.
Sawdust is a true coming-of-age story, centering around the adventures of a young boy in a small town. It's the kind of simple story that will remind you of your favorite movies. Plus, it includes a dog who can do some pretty cool things, like swim across the river and swipe things when people aren't looking! This is a short, charming read you'll love!
What are you reading?
Pssst: I'm having a Goodreads giveaway for an advance copy of Piper Morgan Joins the Circus. Enter below!
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Goodreads Book Giveaway
Piper Morgan Joins the Circus by Stephanie Faris Giveaway ends June 29, 2016. See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway
June 22, 2016
The House Where Someone Watches You
There's an old, historic home near us that has been on the market since we moved here a year ago. They're asking more than $1 million for it when you can buy a nice home on the lake for the same price. The historic house is on a main road, not on the lake.
There is a certain type of person who prefers a historic house to a brand new one. Most of the time, that type of person doesn't have $1 million in the bank, though. So it's no surprise that this $1.2 million historic house in New Jersey has been on the market since March.
The house looks innocent enough, but it has earned the nickname "watcher house" and the reason is just as creepy as you would imagine.
In 2013, Derek and Maria Broaddus purchased the house for $1.2 million. Soon after moving in, they received their welcome letter.
"I have be (sic) put in charge of watching and waiting for its second coming...I asked the Woods (the previous owners) to bring me young blood...Have they found what is in the walls yet? In time they will."
More letters followed. The couple filed a lawsuit against the previous owners, saying they sold the house without disclosing this strange issue.
The previous owners say the couple (pictured below) is making the whole thing up.
The "watcher" claims to have inherited the duty of watching the house from his father, who watched the house in the 60s, and his grandfather, who watched the house in the 20s. Now it's his turn.
Inside view of the house
Interestingly, the previous owners of the house do admit they received an anonymous letter just before moving out. But they "deny that the note was 'disturbing' or in any way claimed a right of possession and/or ownership of the premises," according to NJ.com.
Do you think the couple is really receiving those letters? Or is this a case like the Amityville Horror house?
Pssst: I'm having a Goodreads giveaway for an advance copy of Piper Morgan Joins the Circus. Enter below!
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Goodreads Book Giveaway
Piper Morgan Joins the Circus by Stephanie Faris Giveaway ends June 29, 2016.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway
There is a certain type of person who prefers a historic house to a brand new one. Most of the time, that type of person doesn't have $1 million in the bank, though. So it's no surprise that this $1.2 million historic house in New Jersey has been on the market since March.
The house looks innocent enough, but it has earned the nickname "watcher house" and the reason is just as creepy as you would imagine.
In 2013, Derek and Maria Broaddus purchased the house for $1.2 million. Soon after moving in, they received their welcome letter.
"I have be (sic) put in charge of watching and waiting for its second coming...I asked the Woods (the previous owners) to bring me young blood...Have they found what is in the walls yet? In time they will."
More letters followed. The couple filed a lawsuit against the previous owners, saying they sold the house without disclosing this strange issue.
The previous owners say the couple (pictured below) is making the whole thing up.
The "watcher" claims to have inherited the duty of watching the house from his father, who watched the house in the 60s, and his grandfather, who watched the house in the 20s. Now it's his turn.
Inside view of the houseInterestingly, the previous owners of the house do admit they received an anonymous letter just before moving out. But they "deny that the note was 'disturbing' or in any way claimed a right of possession and/or ownership of the premises," according to NJ.com.
Do you think the couple is really receiving those letters? Or is this a case like the Amityville Horror house?
Pssst: I'm having a Goodreads giveaway for an advance copy of Piper Morgan Joins the Circus. Enter below!
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Goodreads Book Giveaway
Piper Morgan Joins the Circus by Stephanie Faris Giveaway ends June 29, 2016. See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway
June 20, 2016
The Lowdown on Mailing Internationally
One of my most awesome blogging friends pointed out that my giveaway isn't open to anyone outside of the U.S. I feel so bad about that...and if I do one for just my bloggy friends, I will for sure open it internationally. But I thought it was important to explain why.
With my first book, I did international giveaways. Why not? Having news of your book spread across the globe is huge.
Of course, mailing a book internationally can be expensive. I'm sure that's why many people don't do it, but that's not my reason. I'll pay $10 or more for my friends to be able to enter.
For Americans, the issue with international shipping can be summed up in one picture. It's this:
So you're standing in line at the post office, waiting your turn. There's a line like that ^^^ behind you. You step up to the counter and hand the clerk the form you spent five minutes filling out:
Your form is 100 percent ready, so you should be able to just step up to the counter, wait for your item to be weighed, and pay your money, right?
This is how it really works. You step up there, hand over everything, and they weigh. Then they start typing. They have to type everything on that form. Your address, the recipient's address... And guess how they type? Yep, you've got it.
And then they mess up and have to start over. A guy once had to start over on my item three times. Meanwhile, the line behind you is all:
You seriously can hear grunts and sighs. Sometimes you'll even hear a, "REALLY?" Americans don't wait. This is us:
If the post office wants a boost in income, how about investing in a scanner that can capture the information on the form? That would keep people like me from equating international shipping to this experience:
Oh, that's right, that would mean moving into the 21st century. I'm pretty sure their software looks something like this:
Meanwhile, if anyone knows of a reasonably affordable way to ship internationally without feeling like you're being punished for some past-life transgression, let me know!
If you live in the U.S., be sure to enter my Goodreads giveaway for an advance copy of Piper Morgan Joins the Circus. Enter below!
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Goodreads Book Giveaway
Piper Morgan Joins the Circus by Stephanie Faris Giveaway ends June 29, 2016.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway
With my first book, I did international giveaways. Why not? Having news of your book spread across the globe is huge.
Of course, mailing a book internationally can be expensive. I'm sure that's why many people don't do it, but that's not my reason. I'll pay $10 or more for my friends to be able to enter.
For Americans, the issue with international shipping can be summed up in one picture. It's this:
So you're standing in line at the post office, waiting your turn. There's a line like that ^^^ behind you. You step up to the counter and hand the clerk the form you spent five minutes filling out:
Your form is 100 percent ready, so you should be able to just step up to the counter, wait for your item to be weighed, and pay your money, right?
This is how it really works. You step up there, hand over everything, and they weigh. Then they start typing. They have to type everything on that form. Your address, the recipient's address... And guess how they type? Yep, you've got it.
And then they mess up and have to start over. A guy once had to start over on my item three times. Meanwhile, the line behind you is all:
You seriously can hear grunts and sighs. Sometimes you'll even hear a, "REALLY?" Americans don't wait. This is us:
If the post office wants a boost in income, how about investing in a scanner that can capture the information on the form? That would keep people like me from equating international shipping to this experience:
Oh, that's right, that would mean moving into the 21st century. I'm pretty sure their software looks something like this:
Meanwhile, if anyone knows of a reasonably affordable way to ship internationally without feeling like you're being punished for some past-life transgression, let me know!
If you live in the U.S., be sure to enter my Goodreads giveaway for an advance copy of Piper Morgan Joins the Circus. Enter below!
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Goodreads Book Giveaway
Piper Morgan Joins the Circus by Stephanie Faris Giveaway ends June 29, 2016. See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway
June 17, 2016
Introducing A Love That Disturbs by Medeia Sharif
Medeia Sharif is one fierce writer. The way she manages her career makes her my hero! On top of that, her books always 100 percent kick butt. Here's her latest! It goes on sale today, so be sure to click over and buy your copy.
Blurb:
Maysa Mazari is alarmed by her mother’s talk about arranged marriage. As a hijab-wearing Pakistani-American, she wants to find love on her own. Her judgmental Muslim clique has protected her from racist taunts, although the leader is turning on her as Maysa strays from the group because of her attraction to Haydee.
Haydee Gomez is a former gang member and juvenile detention student. Now living with a clean-cut aunt, she wants to turn her life around, even though one person will never let her forget her roots—Rafe, her abusive pimp. Haydee attempts to pull away from a life of prostitution when she develops feelings for Maysa, although Rafe isn’t willing to give her up too easily.
Finding themselves in danger from Maysa’s friends and Haydee’s pimp, it’s apparent their love disturbs everyone around them as they fight to stay together.
Bio:
I was born in New York City and I presently call Miami my home. I received my master’s degree in psychology from Florida Atlantic University. After becoming a voracious reader in high school and a relentless writer dabbling in many genres in college, I found my niche writing for young people. Today I'm a MG and YA writer published through various presses. In addition to being a writer, I'm a public school teacher. My memberships include Mensa, ALAN, and SCBWI.
Links:
Website | Amazon | Publisher | Twitter | Goodreads
Pssst: I'm having a Goodreads giveaway for an advance copy of Piper Morgan Joins the Circus. Enter below!
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Goodreads Book Giveaway
Piper Morgan Joins the Circus by Stephanie Faris Giveaway ends June 29, 2016.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway
Blurb:
Maysa Mazari is alarmed by her mother’s talk about arranged marriage. As a hijab-wearing Pakistani-American, she wants to find love on her own. Her judgmental Muslim clique has protected her from racist taunts, although the leader is turning on her as Maysa strays from the group because of her attraction to Haydee.
Haydee Gomez is a former gang member and juvenile detention student. Now living with a clean-cut aunt, she wants to turn her life around, even though one person will never let her forget her roots—Rafe, her abusive pimp. Haydee attempts to pull away from a life of prostitution when she develops feelings for Maysa, although Rafe isn’t willing to give her up too easily.
Finding themselves in danger from Maysa’s friends and Haydee’s pimp, it’s apparent their love disturbs everyone around them as they fight to stay together.
Bio:
I was born in New York City and I presently call Miami my home. I received my master’s degree in psychology from Florida Atlantic University. After becoming a voracious reader in high school and a relentless writer dabbling in many genres in college, I found my niche writing for young people. Today I'm a MG and YA writer published through various presses. In addition to being a writer, I'm a public school teacher. My memberships include Mensa, ALAN, and SCBWI.Links:
Website | Amazon | Publisher | Twitter | Goodreads
Pssst: I'm having a Goodreads giveaway for an advance copy of Piper Morgan Joins the Circus. Enter below!
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Goodreads Book Giveaway
Piper Morgan Joins the Circus by Stephanie Faris Giveaway ends June 29, 2016. See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway
June 15, 2016
How to Become a "Real" Housewife
Last week, while working, I caught up on trying to understand pop culture by binging on The Real Housewives of Orange County. The show started off as a documentary about average-looking shallow California housewives.
And somehow became a multi-show franchise where everyone has big boobs, Botoxed faces, and is (usually) Hollywood beautiful.
As you can see from the woman on the left of the first picture and in the center of the second one, generally one or two housewives stay with the show forever. The other housewives come and go like there's a revolving door. When a new housewife comes in, they usually "pretend" she just happens to know one of the existing housewives, not that she was chosen from a very careful search-and-audition process.
As soon as a new housewife is added, we often see her going through this (if she hasn't already):
It's as if it's in the contract. "You agree to film for X months straight and get breast implants on camera." There's also tons of this:
Not only do the women look "perfect," they live "perfect lives," complete with ginormous houses...
And fancy cars.
All while not working.
Okay, Miss Piggy up there is a workaholic. The rest design crap that they sell based solely on their Real Housewives fan base.
So that means if you want to be a "real" housewife, your husband will have to work extra hard. Or go into debt and end up in jail for not paying taxes.
Either way, you'll only get (and stay) on the show if you pretend you have the money to afford the house you live in. Just ask this couple. He faked it until he made it...only instead of making it, his kids were served an eviction notice on air. Their time on the show ended a couple of episodes later.
This husband committed suicide, reportedly due to the pressure (financial and otherwise) the show put on him.
So the question isn't so much HOW to become a Real Housewife as "Why would you want to?" Seems people are willing to pay any price for fame, but the price here may be way too much.
Pssst: I'm having a Goodreads giveaway for an advance copy of Piper Morgan Joins the Circus. Enter below!
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Goodreads Book Giveaway
Piper Morgan Joins the Circus by Stephanie Faris Giveaway ends June 29, 2016.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway
And somehow became a multi-show franchise where everyone has big boobs, Botoxed faces, and is (usually) Hollywood beautiful.
As you can see from the woman on the left of the first picture and in the center of the second one, generally one or two housewives stay with the show forever. The other housewives come and go like there's a revolving door. When a new housewife comes in, they usually "pretend" she just happens to know one of the existing housewives, not that she was chosen from a very careful search-and-audition process.
As soon as a new housewife is added, we often see her going through this (if she hasn't already):
It's as if it's in the contract. "You agree to film for X months straight and get breast implants on camera." There's also tons of this:
Not only do the women look "perfect," they live "perfect lives," complete with ginormous houses...
And fancy cars.
All while not working.
Okay, Miss Piggy up there is a workaholic. The rest design crap that they sell based solely on their Real Housewives fan base.
So that means if you want to be a "real" housewife, your husband will have to work extra hard. Or go into debt and end up in jail for not paying taxes.
Either way, you'll only get (and stay) on the show if you pretend you have the money to afford the house you live in. Just ask this couple. He faked it until he made it...only instead of making it, his kids were served an eviction notice on air. Their time on the show ended a couple of episodes later.
This husband committed suicide, reportedly due to the pressure (financial and otherwise) the show put on him.
So the question isn't so much HOW to become a Real Housewife as "Why would you want to?" Seems people are willing to pay any price for fame, but the price here may be way too much.
Pssst: I'm having a Goodreads giveaway for an advance copy of Piper Morgan Joins the Circus. Enter below!
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Goodreads Book Giveaway
Piper Morgan Joins the Circus by Stephanie Faris Giveaway ends June 29, 2016. See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway
June 13, 2016
There’s Power in the Facebook Block
As Facebook has evolved, it seems it's more useful for the groups you can join than interacting with your high school classmates and distant family members. There are groups for writers, groups for bloggers, groups for your neighborhood... The list goes on.
As anyone who has ever spent time in online forums knows, things can get ugly. There's always that one person who never seemed to have been taught how to act like a decent human being.
So you find yourself doing this...
And then you ask yourself why...because:
But Facebook has a feature that is all kinds of amazing. It's called this:
In the group I'm most active in, a few people seem to be perpetually cranky. They take that crankiness out on everyone else. They were never taught this basic lesson everyone in the South learns from a young age:
I've only blocked a few people...usually after seeing a pattern of behavior. Most of the time it's that they seem to always be looking for a fight and do you know what?
Most often when I've blocked someone, it's more of an effort to keep them from seeing my posts than vice versa. If they can't see me, they can't reply with their nasty rudeness. Clicking on "Block" is very liberating. You immediatley feel as though someone has been completely removed from your life.
If only we could block toxic people in real life. One minute they're there, the next they vanish.
Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook?
As anyone who has ever spent time in online forums knows, things can get ugly. There's always that one person who never seemed to have been taught how to act like a decent human being.
So you find yourself doing this...
And then you ask yourself why...because:
But Facebook has a feature that is all kinds of amazing. It's called this:
In the group I'm most active in, a few people seem to be perpetually cranky. They take that crankiness out on everyone else. They were never taught this basic lesson everyone in the South learns from a young age:
I've only blocked a few people...usually after seeing a pattern of behavior. Most of the time it's that they seem to always be looking for a fight and do you know what?
Most often when I've blocked someone, it's more of an effort to keep them from seeing my posts than vice versa. If they can't see me, they can't reply with their nasty rudeness. Clicking on "Block" is very liberating. You immediatley feel as though someone has been completely removed from your life.
If only we could block toxic people in real life. One minute they're there, the next they vanish.
Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook?
June 10, 2016
The Mystery of Dyatlov Pass
This is part of my ongoing mysteries series, which is a continuation from my very popular A to Z Challenge posts this year. Warning: Some violent content.
In January of 1959, a group of young, experienced skiiers set out to ski the Ural Mountains, armed with hiking gear. On January 28th, one of their group fell ill and had to turn back.
He would be the lucky one.
Nearly one month after the group started their trip, searchers found their tent on the uppermost slope of the "mountain of the dead." Diaries and cameras documented their journey, including this photo of four of them toward the beginning:
Photo Credit: Daily Mail
There was no sign of the nine students. There were eight or nine sets of tracks in the snow, leading away from the tent. Some had been wearing socks, some only one shoe, and some were completely barefoot. The temperatures had been well below zero.
Photo Credit: Daily Mail
On closer inspection, the searchers realized the tent had been cut from inside. All of the skiiers' belongings were there, including most of their shoes.
At the edge of the forest were the first two bodies, near the remains of a small fire. Both bodies were clothed in only underwear, with no shoes.
Photo credit: DyatlovIncident.com
Three more bodies were found in a position that suggested they may have been trying to return to the tent. A few months later, the remaining four skiiers had been found. They were dressed. Their bodies were nearly 250 feet from the other bodies.
Photo credit: Misterika
Using the diaries and photographs they found, investigators discovered that on the last day, the group had run into bad weather. They'd decided to set up camp early. Experts placed the time of the "incident" to sometime after dark but before dinner.
Photo Credit: Daily Mail
Forensics found that the tent had been cut from the inside--a hole large enough for the campers to escape through. What had caused them to run away from the safety of their tent?
Three of the skiiers had serious skull injuries consistent with an extremely aggressive blow. Two had suffered damage to their chests. No other footprints were found near the tent. The damage was that which would be seen in a car accident, experts say, and too extensive to have been caused by a human. This was the final photo from their camera:
To this day, no one knows for certain what caused the skiiers to flee their campsite. Six died of hypothermia and three died from fatal injuries. One of the biggest puzzlers of all?
Some of the clothes had notable amounts of radiation on them.
There have been many theories, but the Dyatlov Pass Incident still remains one of the most puzzling unsolved mysteries of all time.
What do you think happened to the hikers?
In January of 1959, a group of young, experienced skiiers set out to ski the Ural Mountains, armed with hiking gear. On January 28th, one of their group fell ill and had to turn back.
He would be the lucky one.
Nearly one month after the group started their trip, searchers found their tent on the uppermost slope of the "mountain of the dead." Diaries and cameras documented their journey, including this photo of four of them toward the beginning:
Photo Credit: Daily MailThere was no sign of the nine students. There were eight or nine sets of tracks in the snow, leading away from the tent. Some had been wearing socks, some only one shoe, and some were completely barefoot. The temperatures had been well below zero.
Photo Credit: Daily MailOn closer inspection, the searchers realized the tent had been cut from inside. All of the skiiers' belongings were there, including most of their shoes.
At the edge of the forest were the first two bodies, near the remains of a small fire. Both bodies were clothed in only underwear, with no shoes.
Photo credit: DyatlovIncident.comThree more bodies were found in a position that suggested they may have been trying to return to the tent. A few months later, the remaining four skiiers had been found. They were dressed. Their bodies were nearly 250 feet from the other bodies.
Photo credit: MisterikaUsing the diaries and photographs they found, investigators discovered that on the last day, the group had run into bad weather. They'd decided to set up camp early. Experts placed the time of the "incident" to sometime after dark but before dinner.
Photo Credit: Daily MailForensics found that the tent had been cut from the inside--a hole large enough for the campers to escape through. What had caused them to run away from the safety of their tent?
Three of the skiiers had serious skull injuries consistent with an extremely aggressive blow. Two had suffered damage to their chests. No other footprints were found near the tent. The damage was that which would be seen in a car accident, experts say, and too extensive to have been caused by a human. This was the final photo from their camera:
To this day, no one knows for certain what caused the skiiers to flee their campsite. Six died of hypothermia and three died from fatal injuries. One of the biggest puzzlers of all?
Some of the clothes had notable amounts of radiation on them.
There have been many theories, but the Dyatlov Pass Incident still remains one of the most puzzling unsolved mysteries of all time.
What do you think happened to the hikers?
