Venugopal Gupta's Blog, page 2

Ode to Mumbai

An Ode to Mumbai .....some years back, we fell in your lap, we landed on your shores. The streets were narrow and the heat sweltering. We weren't sure. Maybe you were. Maybe you knew, like million others, we too would, for all the shortcomings, fall helplessly in love with you. 

You gave us a place, a momentary bubble, in the midst of chaos and madness. A bubble we called home. As we ran through your veins and built our life, you were a silent spectator to our joy and despair, to our trials and tribulations, to our euphoria and poignancy. and we found peace in your silence.

We leave you with a heavy heart but with a solemn promise......we will visit you as much as we can and we will never....never come back as a tourist....always as your dear friend....each time we come to your shores, we will pick up from where we left and add to our friendship.

Magical Bali

Neat, spirited and shallow beaches, quaint little hill towns growing in all directions from the erstwhile kings palace.... ideal for long walks without getting lost, little girls with big names ( Putu Wulandari ! - 8 yrs ), an active volcano with a glaring cooled lava field , and Kecak, an ancient ritual trance dance during sunset each day narrating the ramayana (in which Hanuman brings Sita to Ram), all this while you are wondrously submerged in an alternative form of Hinduism....Bali...exploited by the dutch for over 300 years but preserved by its own innocence....

India : Junk or Overrated Still

India, just a notch above junk rating, now shares investment rating with countries like Azerbaijan, Barbados, Croatia, Latvia, Panama and Uruguay.....Lithuania, Peru and Bahamas have a better rating than us.....why is that......maybe because while our economy was going down our national debate was instead about an Ambedkar cartoon, because when scam tainted Raja returned to Chennai 3000 people gave him a hero's welcome, because we can splurge on building splendid memorials, ashrams and temples but when it comes to building national infrastructure we just cant get it done, because when the whole world welcomes foreign investment with open arms we make life difficult for them, because after 60 years of independence we still have 50 people following each minister carrying files and opening doors for them, because cabinet portfolios are still distributed as rewards for loyal service rather than based on competency, because even today people have no hope of timely justice from the judiciary, because average age of our union cabinet is over 64 years while the average life expectancy in India is 66 years.....

Finally we got back together...

Do you remember how we first met ? I remember....

Some years back, a friend introduced you to me. Seems like yesterday. There you were, gliding smoothly across the room with your friends, you were supercool, you had a golden glow around you, like a goddess. You were sultry at times too, beads of sweat on your neck. Oh, that neck, slender, nothing gave me more joy than running my fingers on your slender neck. I was hesitant at first, but as we got to know each other, I became sure that we were made for each other and you were born only to make me happy. With you I always felt like the best version of me. Everytime I held you, I could feel the nervous anticipation of the experiences that awaited me.

Then, some years back, I must admit, I left you for others. I had heard some murmurs of even greater joys. I believed them and left. I took a path that was long and twisted. A path littered with confusing variety. A path with a lot of glitz, I got distracted and tried to become a part of it. The impatience grew, the emptiness inside me grew and it grew until I could take no more. I realised my mistake. I came back and you were there. Standing prettily. Same golden glow, slender neck. I am sure you were looking at me. I held you again and you didn’t resist. You took me back. You didn’t ask any questions.

The world over people call you with many names. Some call you Kingfisher, some Corona, some Bud but they are just different paths leading to you. You are the one and the only. Overflowing in pure awesomeness.

Manhole Satire

Given the spate of accidents of children falling into manholes, the government has decided to form a new department of MAnhole Related Accidents or MARA. MARA will be headed by a minister of cabinet rank. There will be special waiting lounges for people whose kids have fallen into a manhole. Displaying quick decision making, the minister, Mr. P.K. Girpade, has already asked for the lounge to be inthe shape of a very large manhole and 8th July to be celebrated as “Dhakkan Divas” (a request was made to Cong HQ to name this as “RG Dhakkan Divas” but it was rejected).

Apart from a tomb dedicated to all those who fell, a food court and a Swedish leg massage parlour, each lounge will have two counters, one for registration of complaints and the other for issuing of compensation. In certain cases the minister has promised instant handing over of compensation. In others, the army will be called in. The minister has already written to the General Headquarters for Army personnel to be diverted from forward areas. He has argued that more people are getting killed in the manholes than terrorism and the Army needs to respond to this internal threat. The minister has also asked for a change in nursery curriculum, he feels that certain songs are subconsciously encouraging children to fall. Accordingly, schools have removed the song “ ring a ring of roses…..we all fall down” and “humpty dumpty… had a great fall” from the curriculum.

The statistics institute has identified a pattern amongst all the children who have fallen in manholes/borewell. They feel that children within the age group of 7-14 who wear red checked shorts and who move about between 4-7 in the evening are the most susceptible. Accordingly, the civic authorities have issued a statement banning children in that age group to go out of the house during the said time. In case of emergency, a permit can be obtained from the nearest office of MARA. The beaming minister unveiled these and promised other exciting measures at a recent function organised by the municipal corporation.