Alexis Rankin Popik's Blog, page 8

CATS AND SEX

This blog is not about cats or sex, but using either (or both) of these words in a title guarantees that people will click on it—i.e., clickbait!  This essay could be more honestly named “Grab Bag” or “Potpourri,” but then would you select it?  Read on!

A LIFE WELL LIVED, cont’d.
Last week’s blog about Gertrude Trumbull Burr,  “A Life Well Lived,” garnered a big response, mostly along the lines of “what an amazing woman!” Chrissie in Tucson wrote:  “We all loved your last line & feel exactly as you do – inadequate by comparison.”

A MOM LIVES THE DREAM 
My impatience with the pandemic has morphed into a deep aversion (“hatred” is too ugly a word or I’d use it) to cleaning up the kitchen and doing laundry—over and over and over.  Then my day was brightened by an article in upworthy.com (here)—“Mom lives the dream:  quietly quitting household chores to see if her family notices.”  If you are offended by salty language, you may be put off.  I think it adds the perfect emphasis for the situation.  The amazing outcome of the woman’s experiment is that it was partially successful!  I have tried a similar trick with laundry over the years but surrendered when the piles became too large.  I don’t think anyone else in the family ever noticed.

WHAT I’M READING
This month The New Yorker magazine is celebrating the remarkable (and continuing) writing career of John McPhee, who recently turned ninety.  I first learned about McPhee from his 1984 book, The Heirs of General Practice, about the medical students (like my husband) who chose Family Practice as their specialty.  A few years later, I was fascinated by his article, “Los Angeles Against the Mountains,” from which I learned the term “angle of repose.”  I wanted to write a book with that title, but then Wallace Stegner beat me to it with his fine novel of that name.  Just now, while searching for some of his titles, I learned that over the years I have read relatively little of what McPhee has written—more than 30 books listed on Amazon.  There are a few that are collections of his essays, which may be a good place to start.

   HAVE A GOOD WEEK!

Photo of cat on the bed by Ergita Sela via Unsplash.

A LIFE WELL LIVED

Photo by Dave Hoefler via Unsplash

The past year’s pandemic has many of us thinking about what a Life Well Lived means.  At the end of each of her daily shows, “Deadline White House,” Nicolle Wallace has a segment called “Lives Well Lived,” remembering some of the half-million Americans who have died from COVID in the past year.  Wallace now has a one-hour documentary of the same name on MSNBC you can link to here.  It is touching in many ways, with its descriptions of how ordinary people extraordinarily affected the lives of others. These are glimpses of how extraordinary people among us truly are.

And then there are the people who are so extraordinary that there isn’t an adjective grand enough to describe them.  A few weeks ago my friend Clint sent me the obituary of a woman in our summer community and it’s a wowser.  Gertrude Trumbull Burr’s life was lived fully and well. I wish I had known her. I usually do not use the full names of non-public figures in this blog without permission, but because this obituary was published in the Boston Globe, Burr’s life is a matter of public record.  This is a slightly shortened version:

BURR, Gertrude Trumbull Of Mattapoisett, died peacefully at home in her sleep, on Friday, February 12th, age 97, after a life well lived….She attended Meadowbrook School, and in a harbinger of things to come, was the quarterback of the boys’ football team. She graduated from Vassar College, majoring in Math and Engineering Physics. After graduation in 1944, in the wartime accelerated academic program, she worked at M.I.T. in the aerospace effort, focused on calculating rocket trajectories. She was the only woman amongst 600 other mathematicians, engineers, and physicists. In 1949, she married and moved to Mattapoisett, MA. Building community and strengthening family were their lifelong passions. She was an inspiration to her four children and a multitude of family members and friends, all the while being instrumental in developing the family business, Burr Brothers Boats. The business was a fitting continuation of her lifelong love of “messing about in boats,” which she had done since childhood sailing her Herreshoff 12, “Rosebud.” With her indefatigable energy and can-do attitude she helped steer the business into novel endeavors, such as becoming one of the first boatyards in the country to develop a computer system tracking all accounting and operations.  For her mentally disabled daughter, Gertrude co-founded a non-profit community home, which became LifeStream, Inc. Today Lifestream is an organization with a staff of over 500, and it has served thousands of developmentally disabled people and others facing personal challenges. Gertrude loved working with people and was especially good at using her skills to help organizations in which she believed. Over the years, Gertrude was also a member of numerous Clubs, which made for an active sporting and social life. She helped run various USTA tennis tournaments and managed to collect a closet full of trophies herself. Playing well into her 80s, she left opponents impressed not only with her play but also with her sportsmanship. She was a very elegant skier, refusing to permanently come down off the mountains until nearly ninety years old. Her enthusiasm for hopping on board to go sailing continued into her 90s, while her rowing prowess lasted nearly to the end.

And now, if you will excuse me, I am going to feed the cat while I wonder what I have been doing with my life all these years.

HAVE A GOOD WEEK!

ROSES? WHAT ROSES?

From the archive:

Photo by Puck Milder via Unsplash

I come from a family that does not “stop to smell the roses.” My parents, brother, sisters and I can best be described as a “Let’s get this done!” family or, at worst, a “Let’s get this over with!” gang. As adults, we called my dad “Vince-Half-a-Cup of Coffee” because when he’d visit us he’d agree to “just half a cup—I have to get going.” On one unforgettable occasion, he admitted that he was “rushing even though I don’t know what I’m rushing for.” That, indeed, is the question: what’s the rush?

I believe I eat too fast because a full plate looks to me like a task to be accomplished. I make decisions quickly so I won’t keep some imaginary foot-tapper waiting. There’s always the impulse not to waste time. It often feels uncomfortable to simply sit and read—but reading while walking on the treadmill, now that’s productive! All this rushing leaves precious little time to enjoy the present. I am lucky to have friends who are not so twitchy. Morella, a painter, sees shadows and gradations of color everywhere. Heidi, a world traveler, notices all the different nationalities who use our city park. My sister Liz never misses a bird and can identify nearly every one.

In December 2014 I wrote here about the meaning of “making time for time.” an expression I learned from a French friend about for practice of taking time to appreciate the time we have on this earth. It is the antithesis of rushing. It’s taking time to stop and smell the roses–or, in the case of the French, drink the rosés. I think they’re onto something.

MEMORY, MEMORY–WHERE ART THOU?

There will be a memory test at the end of this blog.

I am afraid of losing my memory.  My father had significant memory loss and, when he died at age 88, had been showing signs of Alzheimer’s for about 15 years.  That would make him about my age when his condition was noticeable.

I am significantly healthier than my dad was and….so far so good.  I haven’t been stashing my wallet in the refrigerator.  I can find my way home.  I’m not so good at finding my car in parking lots but I never have been.  I ace those tests all Medicare patients get when they visit the doctor–I can draw a fabulous clock face.  Some of my friends are worrying about losing their memories, too. We compare symptoms:  “I lost my car keys twice today;”  “I forgot my next door neighbor’s name;”  “What’s the name of that thingy that…does that stuff…you know.” Or my personal favorite:  “What were we just talking about?” And neither of us can remember. 

To date, there isn’t much to be done to stop progressive memory loss so, besides keeping up with the literature and participating in medical studies, what is to be done?  I figure the best approach is to appreciate what we have while we have it.  And deal with the problem if it presents itself.  

Memory Test

Do you remember that pathetic indoor lemon tree I thought was dead a few years ago (see blog of May 16, 2016)?  The photo at the top of this pages shows it as it is now, in our garden in California, flourishing with age! 

VALENTINE’S DAY KINDNESS

Photo by Rinck Content Studio via Unsplash

Yesterday I received the Best Valentine’s Day present ever!  I took a hike on one of my favorite East Bay hills trails, preferred because of its views of San Francisco Bay and its relative isolation. Yesterday, however, there were lots of hikers. At one point I detoured down a side trail for reasons best left to your imagination.  Back on the main trail, I never noticed my phone was missing. 

I went home, took a nap, and woke to learn that my daughter had called me and instead reached the very kind woman who picked up my phone on the side trail.  My phone is not only valuable in and of itself; it is also in a case which holds a credit card, my health plan card and my driver’s license—in other words, MY OFFICIAL LIFE! I called the most honest woman in the world back and arranged to pick up the phone at her house.  She refused any reward and said she felt good simply “sending kindness out into the world.”  Amen, Ms. Very Good Person.  And a Happy and Kind Valentine’s Day to you.

Have a Kind Week!

GARBAGE BRAIN

Emptying the Garbage.

I often spend the previous week thinking about what I will write for this Monday blog. I take a few notes, look up a couple of sources and let things marinate. By Saturday I have a pretty clear idea of what I will write. On Sunday I write the beginning, the end and reshape the middle. It’s kind of fun. However, during these pandemic months I am having trouble focusing. Random thoughts appear, then are carried away, only to show up in an altered state. I’m sure this situation will correct itself after I empty the garbage, so come along with me as I sort through the bins.

Clickbait
I am a sucker for Clickbait despite whatever awful things might happen to my computer as a result.  A slide show of Twenty Celebrities Who Have Aged Horribly? I’m on it! Ten Flattering Hairstyles for Older Women? Sign me up! This morning I clicked through a slide show about an octopus a family rescued who returned to the beach the next day “to thank his rescuers.” I would like to see a citation (ala Adam Ruins Everything) that an “octopus thank you” is possible.

Who can resist cat videos? My favorites this week are a cat trying to pet a bird and Ricky Gervais playing with his foster cat. Dogs make good subjects, too–especially the “guilty dog” videos.

Words and Phrases I Would Like to Eliminate From TV News
“Let’s unpack this argument.”
“That’s a good question.”

And by the way…..
“Less” does not mean “Fewer.”
“Literally” is seldom used correctly.

Television Advertisements I Can Do Without
Any ad for prescription medication (without the dire warnings, there would be no narrative at all).

Television Advertisements I Love
The Progressive Insurance ads about teaching homeowners not to act like their parents.  My favorites:  teaching men not to groan when they sit down; asking homeowners if it’s really necessary to hang a cute sign on the wall that says:  “Live, Laugh, Love.”  And finally:  “You woke up early?  Nobody cares.”

 

Have a good week and don’t forget to empty the garbage!

CANCEL CULTURE, MEMES AND STONKS

Photo by Joshua Hoehne via Unsplash.

This week three mystifying concepts came together and I have been puzzling over their meanings:  Cancel Culture, Memes and Stonks.

The term “Cancel Culture” is used a lot on cable news and is related to “calling out” a person or organization for perceived bad behavior.  “Calling out” seems like a dumb concept.  What does it mean?  Is it akin to “pointing out” there is a problem?   Are there consequences to calling someone or something out?  Not that I know of.  “Cancel Culture” is a little more significant in that it implies that there are consequences to being “called out.” As usual, Wikipedia explains it best:  Cancel culture (or call-out culture) is a modern form of ostracism in which someone is thrust out of social or professional circles – either online via social media, in the real world, or both. Those who are subject to this ostracism are said to be “canceled.”

“Meme” is a trickier concept.  We all know what it means to cancel something, but “meme” is a cute little word that can mean a variety of things.  It is “an element of a culture or system of behavior that may be considered to be passed from one individual to another by nongenetic means, especially imitation.”  OK.  It’s non genetic, so it doesn’t involve sex.  As far as I can tell, it involves the internet and those who spend too much time on it.  Thus, on January 20 at the Inauguration, Bernie Sanders in his thick Vermont coat and little-kid mittens became a “meme.”  As of yesterday, I found that I could buy a crocheted toy likeness of Bernie in his outfit for only $69.  Now that’s some meme!

And now for “Stonk.”  I can barely understand what it means to “sell short,” much less the turmoil in the stock market this week, but when SNL came up with a skit about “stonk,” I just had to find out.  Stonk used to be a military term for bombardment.  Nowadays it has an additional meaning, which is (loosely) an alternative and derogatory term for stocks.  The Reddit forum users who caused the price of GameStop and AMC stocks to shoot up like rockets this week were expressing contempt for the way the stock market (or stonk market) operates.  While “meme” is a cute word, “stonk” is not.  You can just tell from the sound of it that it is contemptuous.  Stink, stank, stonk.*

HAVE A GOOD WEEK!

*I hope this has been as enlightening for you to read as it was fun for me to write.  Thank you to the new subscribers and welcome!

WHAT I AM READING

 

Photo  of woman reading  by Gaelle Marcel via Unsplash

I am often asked what I am reading.  The pandemic has provided me with  more time than usual to read and I am taking advantage of it.  However, the stack of books at my bedside and books on my Kindle cover subjects so disparate that it is reasonable to assume that I am either a person of wide-ranging interests or a complete garbage brain.

Here is a partial list books I have been reading during the past several months:

On Tyranny by Timothy Snyder (politics)
Wow, No Thank You by Samantha Irby (humorous essays)
A Book of Common Prayer by Joan Didion (novel)
The Teenage Brain by Frances E. Jensen, M.D. (Granddaughter prep)
The Sunset Western Book of Landscaping (Bay Area gardening)
The Hired Man by Aminatta Forna (fiction about the aftermath of war in the    former Yugoslavia)
Euphoria by Lily King (novel inspired by the life of Margaret Mead)
A Very Stable Genius by Philip Rucker and Carol Leonig (politics)
The Beekeeper of Aleppo by Christy Lefteri(fiction about Syrian refugees)
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown (self-help)

When I began to write this essay, I had to check out the books on my bedside table and bookcase because, with a few exceptions, I couldn’t remember what I have been reading these past months.  That reminded me of a poem by the former U.S. Poet Laureate, Billy Collins.  Here is a portion of “Forgetfulness:”

The name of the author is the first to go
Followed obediently by the title, the plot,
The heartbreaking conclusion, the entire novel
Which suddenly becomes one you have never read,
Never even heard of,
As if, one by one, the memories you used to harbor
Decided to retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain,
To a little fishing village where there are no phones.

HAVE A GOOD WEEK!

P. S.  Thanks to all of you who subscribed last week in response to my request.  I truly appreciate it (and you).

 

 

 

 

Vaccinations-Yes!

Photo by Hakan Nural via Unsplash

Last week I was able to secure an appointment for a vaccination next Wednesday.  I feel like I have hit the jackpot!  It took my husband an hour on “Hold” to reach a real person at Kaiser, and she seemed just as tickled as we were that she could help out.  A lot of people (two of them in my family) do not like vaccinations.  One of my kids has fainted twice when receiving shots.  Another is selective about vaccinations.  Both of them will be getting innoculated when this vaccination is available.

I have had my share of shots in the arm and I don’t like them.  I look away and try to think calming thoughts until it is over;  this method works but it is never easy.  This time, I have never been so happy at the prospect of a little vaccination pain.

The COVID pandemic has cast a pall over everything for nearly a year.  Effective vaccination withstanding, I can’t imagine ever sitting in a theater shoulder-to-shoulder with a stranger again.  I am looking forward to hugging my friends and it will be great to see our new grandchild without wearing a mask.  What a terrible year this has been for so many reasons!  Though it is coincidental, I find it fitting that my first step towards immunity is scheduled for January 20.  I hope that you will soon be vaccinated, too.

HAVE A GOOD WEEK!

P.S.  A Simple Request:  I would appreciate it if you would ask your friends to subscribe to this blog.  It comes out once a week on Monday morning and is never more than 350 words long.  I try to keep it positive and relatively light, as difficult as that may be at times!  It contains no ads and I do not share subscriber information with anyone.  I appreciate all of my readers and always enjoy your comments. 

TO-DO LISTS FOR THE PANDEMIC

Photo by Jess Bailey via Unsplash

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My e-mail is full of numbered lists:  “To-Dos,” “Bests” and “Mosts.”  It’s not enough that so many lists have emerged during the pandemic—they must also be numbered lists.

Here is what the first page of my e-mail recently included:

          *20 Cleverest Items We’ve Ever Found

          *13 Beauty Trends Experts Predict Will Dominate 2021

          *2 New Features to Kick Off 2021

          *8 “Little Life Hacks” You Can Try Today

I confess that the lists about cosmetics and hair products catch my eye, but I skip over any list the includes the word “hacks” on principle.  Instead, I have created my own Pandemic To-Do List: 

*5 Painless Ways to Decide Clothes You’ll Never Wear Again                                                                                                  *3 Unrealistic Paint Touchup Projects

*6 Clever Ways to Prevent Your Cat from Shedding

*2 Excellent Reasons to Avoid On-Line Exercise Classes

Whaddaya think?

Have a Good Week!