Matt Medlock's Blog, page 2

Goodbye Eighteen

Yep, pretty soon this millennium will finally be able to vote, play the lottery, get drafted, and apply for a credit card without a cosigner, wooooo! (Hate to be that guy, but remember that since there was no year 0, this century didn’t start until 2001.) That means it’s time to bid farewell to 2018 and hope for better things in the next year.

I’m bidding adieu in the same way that plenty of others do: reminiscing on the highs and lows that the last 365 days had to offer. Which means I have no choice but to get political. Hang the eff on, here we go!

…Just kidding. Considering the touchiness afoot, that would be a guaranteed disaster. If the phrase “united we stand, divided we fall” still holds water, then we were at terminal velocity on January 1 and the chute still hasn’t opened as of the waning days of December. Instead of diving into the touchier subjects that have enraged the world all year long, I’m gonna keep it light and disposable (while still occasionally going negative, ‘cause some bitches gotta be called out). As a writer, I am a media entertainer, so I’m sticking to my wheelhouse: the best, worst, and whatever else in media entertainment.

Like everyone, I don’t experience everything that happens in any given year, and I’ll be slow to get around to even a decent-sized chunk of it. I freely plead ignorance on things I haven’t been exposed to yet, so I’m qualifying everything to come as being out of everything that I have experienced (many holes exist, believe me, and once I “catch up,” the winners/losers may be a lot different down the line). But for right now, here’s a rundown of the year’s best, worst, and in-betweenst (I coined that word, it’s real now, and it’s mine) fun stuff in the world of media entertainment:

-Best Movie I Saw: Phantom Thread*

[runners up: BlacKkKlansman, The Incredibles 2]

-Worst Movie I Saw: Truth or Dare

[runners-up: The Hurricane Heist, Robin Hood]**

-Best Wow Movie Scene I Saw: Tom Cruise falling off the helicopter and snagging the payload in Mission: Impossible Fallout; half the theater surged out of their seats at that bit

-Biggest Movie Disappointment I Saw: Black Panther

-Best Thing I Watched on “TV”: John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City***

[runner up: Mystery Science Theater 3000, whose Gauntlet episodes improved dramatically upon the mildly underwhelming original Netflix run from 2017]

-Best “TV” Scene I Saw: Mac’s dance scene in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia; a bit confounding the first time I watched it (as I awaited a punchline that never came), but revisited repeatedly to soak in its raw (but subtle) emotional chaos

[runner-up: Russell Crowe creating The John Oliver Koala Chlamydia Ward on Last Week Tonight]

-Biggest “TV” Void: Waiting for the final frickin’ episodes of Game of Thrones

-Best “TV” Surprise: NBC saving Brooklyn Nine-Nine from the brink of extinction. All chant: “Nine-Nine!”

-Best Album I Heard: Dirty Computer by Janelle Monáe

[runners-up: 7 by Beach House, Grand Bargain! by Poster Children]

-Best Song I Heard: “Donnie Darko” by Let’s Eat Grandma

[runners-up: “This Is America” by Childish Gambino, “Street Swamp” by No Age]

-Worst Song I Heard: “I Love It” by Kanye West & Lil Pump

[runners-up: literally 96% of what charted in the Top 10 all year long, even all the ones I never heard; in fact, probably especially the ones I never heard]

-Best Video Game I Played: Rootin’ Tootin’ Cowboy Shootin’ II****

-Best Video Game I Played All the Way Through for the First Time This Year (not released in 2018): South Park: The Stick of Truth

[runners-up: Rise of the Tomb Raider, Titanfall 2]

-Best Book I Read: Air by Rosie Scott

[runners-up: Big Ship at the Edge of the Galaxy by Alex White, Kingdom Come by Jim Doran]

-Worst Thing I Read: Trump’s Twitter feed…just, like, all of it

-Best YouTube Video I Saw That’s Less Than 60 Seconds Long: Don’t Talk to Me Until I’ve Had My Coffee

-Best YouTube Video I Saw That’s More than 4 Minutes Long: “It’s Not a Moon” – Bad Lip Reading

-Most Entertaining News Story I Read: Track & Field Poop Mystery Solved

-Most Overrated Piece of Media I Experienced: God of War

[runner up: again, Black Panther]

* Technically a 2017 movie, but it didn’t open in my neck of the
woods until this year so I count it

** Didn’t even really hate either of the runners-up; they were both kinda watchable. Just really, really dumb. And since I’ve always loved Robin Hood media (including the solid BBC series from 2006 and one of my all-time favorite PC games, Sierra’s Conquests of the Longbow), it still stung even when expecting mediocrity and getting mediocrity

***
I put quotes around “TV” because it’ll never feel right to say
that original programming from the likes of Netflix, Amazon Prime,
etc. is “television”

**** AKA, Red Dead Redemption II, and since it was a Christmas gift, I’ve only played it for about 7 or 8 hours as of now—I rarely buy games full-price, so I’ve played very few 2018 games so far. In fact, this is the only one I’ve even actually liked so far

Quick’un Afore Th’olidays

As I do every year, I have a good number of titles on free promotion for the holiday season. The sale stretches to the end of the business week, so head on over to my Amazon page and check out what’s available if you never got a copy of one or more of them in the past. Sci-fi, horror, fantasy, humor, action, there’s a little of something for just about everyone.

Beyond that, not much else to report. A few things are percolating right now on the creative side, Indiecember keeps on rolling along (currently in the middle of reading a fantasy book called Blades of Magic), 2019 is fast approaching, and Christmas is on the doorstep. So Merry X-mas and Happy Holidays and thanks to all my readers over the last year, new and old; it means a lot that you’re around to share the journey with me.

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Travelin’ with Harry and His Plasma Death Ray

As you already know if you’re a subscriber, today saw the launch of the latest insufferably dopey, absurd, screwy, puerile, logic-obliterating, thesaurus-testing entry in the Hopeless Harry series. It’s a lot like Jane Austen’s Persuasion; if, that is, you’re like me and don’t know anything about Jane Austen’s Persuasion, and Jane Austen’s Persuasion turns out to be about a hopeless idiot in the 22nd century who thinks the best way to get fresh breath before a romantic rendezvous is to drink cologne. I’m going to assume that I’m spot-on. Jane Austen was really ahead of her time.

[image error]Looks oddly familiar…I wonder why?

So here it is, Hopeless Harry: Have Plasma Death Ray Will Travel. And, yes, the cover is an homage to a terrific 90s rock record.

He’s been an intrepid space explorer, an intergalactic diplomat, a
savior to a giant alien race, a galaxy-hopping superspy…what’s
Hopeless Harry’s next incredible role? How about a corpse? Well, that’s
unfortunate. But true.

Before he turns stiff as board, though,
Harry is the king of an island of imbeciles, and after he dies he
becomes the Cheesen One. It’s a long, complicated, very stupid, very
silly story, quite frankly. But from incredible proof that the universe
is cube-shaped to an asteroid prison where inmates are forced to ingest
magnets to keep them put, at least there’s a lot of nonsense to get
through.

So join Hopeless Harry on yet another adventure through the cosmos, all the way to the center of the universe where great thinker Snoogitz Snott reveals to him just how Harry’s managed to make it this far being so hopeless, and what his ultimate purpose just might be. (Hint: it’s probably not to become a tic tac toe champion…he played the Snickersneed ship’s computer more than 300,000 times and never won)

As it was with the second and third episodes, being familiar with what came before is helpful but unnecessary (though more so than those outings, this one makes a good amount of references to those past adventures, and even has some carry-over characters/plotlines). For those who need to catch up, though, you’re in luck–the first story, Hopeless Harry: Cadet Second Class, is currently free to buy on Amazon (sale ends soon, so hop to!). All three previous entries have also just been “remastered”–smoothed out a few stiff prose passages, fixed a couple of syntax errors, added an extra joke or two, etc. Going back over them recently, I was surprised by how the JQ (Joke Quotient) was fairly low in the first two compared to the last two. So, if you didn’t vibe to my sense of humor in the first one, you’re really not going to vibe with the most recent one.

As always, thanks to my loyal readers, you are the best. And speaking of reading, don’t forget about Indiecember and do as much readin’ n’ reviewin’ that you can all month long. I’ve got three in the bag and I’m hoping to get to at least a couple more before the new year. We indie writers (obviously) thrive on the good graces of our readers and suffer in their absence, so a mutual celebration is always in order, hear hear!

(The three books so far, by the way, were Rosie Scott’s Air, Jim Doran’s Kingdom Come, and Barry Hutchison’s Space Team, all of which are recommended by yours truly.)

Indiecember

The Indiecember Reading Challenge is on, hosted by indie author, Megan Tennant.

What is it? Well, I think she can answer that way better than I can, but basically, it’s a bingo-style contest where you track reviews you post of independently published books in the month of December. Those who score a straight line or flush cover on the bingo card are entered into a big giveaway at the start of the year for lots of fun prizes (gift cards, free books, merch, etc.).

This will be the first time I’ve participated in this kind of event. I don’t expect to accomplish “high marks” in the challenge (doubt I’ll successfully finish either a bingo line or cover-all), but it’s always nice when indie authors support each other, so whatever little part I can play is worth it. Also gives me an excuse to post a review or three on Amazon, which I admit I don’t always do (even though I always hope–even “humbly” request–for that feedback from my own readers). Whatever it takes to get my lazy ass going.

In addition to my own “author responsibilities” (Hopeless Harry is still coming, I promise), I have a few indie books to plow through over the next few weeks. One of them is part of a series I was already in the middle of reading (Rosie Scott’s Air); finished that one and posted the review today. On to the next one, Jim Doran’s Kingdom Come.

If you’re a fellow indie author (or just like indie literature…or, heck, just like reading at all), I hope you will participate and share.

Happy Indiecember!

Noticias de principios de diciembre

As some may have noticed, the look of the site changed recently. I liked the way it used to look, but I discovered something problematic that needed to be corrected. Navigability suffered for anyone who doesn’t have a filter to block the ads; I never noticed it until I viewed the site from a “strange” computer. Intrusive ads would sometimes drop down from the top of the page and block out the menu bar, making it impossible to move around the site without closing the ads first. This simply would not do. So I kicked it to the curb and adopted a new design that would be more inclusive and user-friendly.

(If, however, you also have ads popping up in unexpected places that reduce the site’s integrity, please let me know so I can try again to correct)

Now, on to a quick bit of business.

As discussed recently, there’s another Hopeless Harry story on the way. It is now finished (or, at least, in the late stages of the edit), so it won’t be much longer now. Don’t forget to sign up to the mailing list so you’re notified when it drops.

What can you expect from it? A rich, complex adventure with spine-tingling thrills and deep, resonant explorations of morality and social responsibility when it comes to–no, that’s a lie, it’s just a bunch of nonsense as usual. An uncluttered plot full of silly (and sometimes quite rude) jokes, largely at the expense of poor Harry, you at least starts to finally learn exactly why he is how he is–utterly, irretrievably hopeless.

[image error]unofficial cover image

I also wanted to touch on one other thing real quick. I was asked by someone about the progress/fate of the completed post-apocalyptic action novel I had mentioned a little while back (Godlight Quakes the Electric Sky). I still have a good number of pending responses from literary publishers and agents, so its future is still quite unknown at this time; it will eventually see the light of the day, I assure you, but when and through what platform remains to be decided. However, if you’re eager to read it in its current form (or just want to skim/sample), it is currently posted on Inkitt. You can check it out right here. Beta readers, critique swap requests, general commentary/feedback, etc. are always appreciated!

Well, better get back to editing. Thanks and have a good one!

Regretsgiving

Turkey is a cruel mistress. First, you eat some and it is delicious. Then your mouth demands more and, being a slave to its desires, you heed the call and provide. This cycle is repeated until your stomach–previously quite satisfied with the exchange occurring above–suddenly realizes that a mistake has been made. It can contain the turkey’s bountiful goodness no longer. But the mouth is a cruel, demanding mistress, and she whispers her seductive spell and convinces that a little more turkey won’t hurt. Go on. Have some more. It’s so good.

Fifteen minutes later, the stomach is screaming even as you chew yet another mouthful of succulent turkey. Finally, the lubricating effect of potent meat sweats causes you to drop the fork and slip right out of the chair onto the floor. You’re not getting up anytime soon, not with a belly full of greasy fowl. The turkey gorging is complete.

Until about three hours later. Then it’s time for more damn turkey. So much more that you swear off turkey for the rest of your days. Never again, you vow. And you make a blood oath to whatever pagan god can and will spare you the agony of a stomach ready to burst like a juicy, inflamed pimple. No more turkey. Never again. On my honor. Please. And the dark clouds carry you away to slumber’s mercenary grace. It’s a debt payable only in the currency of nightmares. Gravy-fueled nightmares like fever dreams in the deepest bowels of hell.

You finally wake up, pasted to your crusty sheets, the taste of basted malevolence slathered across your rotting teeth. And what’s the first thing you ask yourself? Before even running to the bathroom to slap both rosy cheeks onto an oblong seat far too well acquainted with those jiggly twins? The very first thing?

“Any dark meat left?”

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Sidebar: No Black Friday e-book sales this year. Or Cyber Monday, for that matter. Not trying to be a spoil sport, but I’d rather save that promotion for a time that’s not more than a full month away from X-mas. Stay tuned.

Sidebar 2: Give me a slice of pumpkin pie while you’re at it.

The Disagreeable Art of Selling What No One’s Buying

As mentioned last time, 2018 has been a pretty barren year for releases from yours truly. There were two short stories, one in February and one in April, but they were previously released as part of the short story collection, Windows, last year; 2018 was simply when they first saw the light of day as separate e-books.

So, you ask, why the hell have I been so lazy this year?

Well, I haven’t been. Not really. In fact, I finished a novel back in June and wrote three new short stories/novellas after that.

So, you ask, where the hell are they?

Well, they haven’t been released yet. 2018 has been the year that I’ve looked beyond my meager, entirely independent author platform and tested the waters elsewhere. Specifically, I have been submitting this unpublished work to publishers, agents, and literary magazines.

I do not have what they call a “firm grasp” on self-marketing. I do promotions (sales and freebies) and some minor advertising through Amazon, but that’s about it. And my platform (and footprint/presence in the literary community) has not grown much at all over the last few years. Feedback I receive is almost always positive, but said feedback is also limited; it’s usually familiar fans and faces, rarely a consumer out of the blue that just recently got hooked. Because of the limited reach that my published work was getting, I decided to try to reach an expanded market through non-indie publishing methods.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the freedom of the independent model. I can go at my own pace, have nearly-total control over my own work, and am free to roam between (or merge together) the disparate literary genres I enjoy–and, sometimes, tread into waters of genres I usually do not enjoy and do something with it that appeals to me. Doing this, however, has probably had a detrimental effect on building a fanbase. Because I blend and swap genres so often, fewer readers are willing to follow along. Many people willingly watch different kinds of movies or listen to different kinds of music, but far fewer swerve through the many alleyways of written fiction. More often than not, a reader sticks to their favorite style–mystery, romance, fantasy, etc. I was like that once myself.

As an adolescent, I rarely read anything that wasn’t high fantasy. Even rarer was when I wrote anything that wasn’t in the same ballpark. When I was writing epic, multi-volume fantasy stories, I was told that I should try doing stand-alones and short stories, but I remarked that sort of thing was unusual in this genre, and it wasn’t what I was good at. Fast forward to today, and I’ve published almost twenty short stories/novellas (only one of which that even came close to succumbing to the trappings of “high fantasy”) and seven novels. Three of those novels were part of a trilogy, but that trilogy was sci-fi/action, not fantasy. What was comfortable and monolithic then has become a rarity now. My tastes haven’t changed so much as they’ve grown. I wanted to tell stories in different veins, but I didn’t think I knew how. Well, now I’ve done it, and I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished.

But getting back to the point: with my diverse catalog, I wasn’t doing myself any favors in building up a fanbase, grassroots-style, by flitting through genres so capriciously. And so I turned to the so-called professionals. To put it simply, the endeavor has not yielded any success so far. I have not yet received responses from many of the groups or agents that I contacted, and the ones I have heard back from have offered either rejection or an offer with terms that I did not find favorable enough upon which to agree (and sign). Does this mean I’m giving up on that experiment? No. But it means I’m going to try even newer things on top of that old-new endeavor.

One of those things is increasing my presence on social media. I’m not just going to use it to promote my work (that would be me shouting into a vacuum), but I’m going to shed away my too-cool-for-school attitude about some aspects of social media and actually become active. Not just social media, either; I’m also dipping my toes into a few author groups and online resources, such as Scribophile, Goodreads, Inkitt, and more (in a few cases, like Twitter and Goodreads, I had dipped my toes in quite a while ago, but didn’t go any further than that…it’s time to start submerging up to my ankles and even further if I like it). Marketing my own work is a difficult, even uncomfortable thing for me to do–I’m far too self-deprecating and insecure to ever be a successful hype man–but relying purely on word of mouth from the small following I have doesn’t seem like it will ever result in building something that could be described as a “fanbase” in any inflection that isn’t sarcastic.

Another thing is, of course, actually releasing new material again through indie publishing. This doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop pursuing a relationship with a literary agent, publishing house, etc. But I won’t neglect being active as an independent self-publisher either. As stated in the last blog post, a fourth Hopeless Harry story is on its way, which will be followed by another short story/novella (sorry, there’s no clear separation between the two descriptions…a story that’s nearly 10,000 words feels like it should be a novella, but if there aren’t any clear chapter-like breaks, wouldn’t it still be a (long) short story?). Then I have a decision to make about what I tackle next. But I’ll get to that in another post. This one has gone on just about long enough, I think.

Speaking of, that’s another thing: I don’t want to go months in silence on this site’s blog again anytime soon, so I’ll be more active here, too. I hope you’ll follow along. Don’t forget to follow me on the social media links above, and sign up to the mailing list up there as well so you can be notified whenever I release a new story (which will be pretty soon). And if you have your own platform/site wanting the same sort of attention, shout it out. Let’s connect, communicate, forge relationships, support each other, groove to tasty tunes, whatever. Anything to make a long, tough journey a little easier, right?

Sleeping Giant Wakes, Brings the Hope(less)

Yeesh, it’s been a while since my last post. My apologies. Time is a lot like gravy–it just has a way of slipping right through one’s fingers. It will also kill you once enough of it accumulates. It’s also delicious on mashed potatoes. I may be losing the metaphor now.

Jumping back on track, first off: take a moment today (long or short, loud or silent) to honor and remember our brave veterans. Never Forget.

While you’re at it, take a moment to savor the fact that (even though some contests have yet to be decided) we don’t have to read/watch/hear political ads anymore (until the next damn election cycle, at least). No matter your politics, we can all at least agree on that, right?

Now, as you may or may not have noticed (shout out to first-timers to the site!), not only have I been absent for a while, but there has also been nothing new from me released all year long. I dropped a couple of short stories in the winter/spring–Prayers for Miriam and No More Teacher’s Dirty Looks–but those were stories being made available for the first time as an e-book separate from the paperback-only short story collection Windows published last year. Regarding the dearth of new, original content…what gives, you ask? Sorry to be a heartless tease, but those details will be forthcoming (worry not, you won’t need to wait a season-and-a-half to find out). Instead, let’s talk briefly about what is on its way. I wasn’t going to let a whole year slip by without a fresh, creamy load dropping. (I can be so immature sometimes, I know)

Coming (very) soon: the fourth sci-fi comedy novella from the Hopeless Harry series, Hopeless Harry: Have Plasma Death Ray Will Travel!

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Stay tuned for that and more forthcoming updates (seriously, it won’t be that far off, I promise). In the meantime, enjoy the new look to the site and make sure to sign up onto the new mailing list so you can be notified when that fourth Hopeless Harry yarn is released, as well as any other future publications from yours truly. It’s so very convenient and I promise not to raise my voice and wake your neighbors while doing so. Good deal, yeah?

Independent’s Day

There is no better way to celebrate the 4th of July in the USA than by exploding a whole bunch of shit. There is no second better way to celebrate it than by overeating, overdrinking, and being generally lazy (the American way). There is no third better way to celebrate the day than by scoring a bunch of cheap and free crap, and that is precisely what I have to offer.

It’s Independent’s Day, a time to champion indie authors, and I’m making it easier for you and your wallet. From today through Sunday, every single e-book I’ve released is available at a heck of a bargain. All novels are 50-66% off their regular price; all short stories and novellas are absolutely free. I really don’t think you could ask for a better deal than that…unless the deal you want involves better stories, to which I say, hey, I tried my best! Look, I just couldn’t find a way to make the awesomest ideas pan out… The oneupmanship concept of “sparklier vampires” sounds like a brilliant, can’t-fail scheme, but you try to make it work! (Besides, I just know that weeks after its release, someone is gonna come along with “sparkliest vampires” and make me look like an egg-sucking chowderhead.)

So if you’re not a Communist or a redcoat, head on over to my Amazon page and check out everything that’s available at tremendous discount. You probably won’t regret it (unless you’re expecting vampires that sparkle like a starlit desert sky, but like I said, I tried and I tried but I just couldn’t make it work). Happy Independent’s Day to all and to all a cooler night…

…seriously, it’s freakin’ scorching hot out there right now. To anyone slaving away over a grill right now, my sympathies.

Cutting Class (with a Knife)

While I continue to hammer away at my next full-length novel, I went ahead and released another one of the previously unpublished short stories from the Windows collection as a standalone e-book. Presenting (or repeating, if you already gobbled up that anthology): No More Teacher’s Dirty Looks

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An oversexed high school teacher loves the attention she gets from students and faculty, until she comes across an anonymous message left for her that takes matters far beyond harmless fantasies. Suddenly, she doubts everyone around her, desperately wondering which one of them is an obsessed lunatic driven to inflict harm if she doesn’t reciprocate their infatuation.

It’s a breezy (if nasty) little read, a slice of pulp paranoid horror with appropriate levels of sleaze and stupidity. If you are intrigued, feel free to check it out on Amazon.

Not much to provide update-wise, just know that I’m still working on the novel (as mentioned above), and have at least two new short story ideas to get to, including a new Hopeless Harry (mis)adventure. Stay tuned for more, and go enjoy the spring weather.